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Anon taxt redtext | /r/Greentext


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Anon learns history | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)21:36:34 No.867442497 nineteenth century european revolutionaries be like >Don't give women rights >Make their national symbol a woman mfw european revolutionaries were retarded
O Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)21:36:34 No.867442497 nineteenth century european revolutionaries be like >Don't give women rights >Make their national symbol a woman mfw european revolutionaries were retarded

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Anon Meets Mia Khalifa | /r/Greentext

File: mkultra.jpg (126 KB, 1024x1024) U Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)19:46:06 No.867467771 >>867469002 >>867469072 The time I met a pornstar IRL. >l was going to Chipotle when I saw Mia Khalifa putting in an order. >Had to look twice to be sure and it was definitely her. >I was a few people behind her in line, and kind of anxious to at least say hi. >That w---- ordered so much food. A burrito and tacos. >On top of that I think a salad as if that made a difference. >Ready to put in my order now - just waiting for the person in front of me. >Make it quick so I can try to "accidentally" bump into Mia. >I do, then just say something stupid like "oh hi, you look familiar", like an idiot. >She just awkwardly looks at me and walks away. >Stupid bitch. >I go sit down to eat and think of another way, noticing she's also sitting and eating. >Got it - I'll just be direct and go tell her I jerked it to her p---. Already got reject anyway. >Unfettered, I creepily watch to try and keep eating at the same pace. >Eagerly watching her slide a hot burrito in her mouth, I get a slight stiffy. >So f------ hot, but I try to contain myself. >She has now moved on to her tacos. >That's it, she's getting closer to finishing her food. >How will I get her to like me? I'm still thinking. >Easy, just stick to the plan! Be direct. I tell myself. >You can do this. >Never forget the plan. >Even if you aren't feeling confident, don't let it show. >Very nervous now, and she's almost done with her salad. >Every second closer to me going full retard. >Ready for this, I get up slowly to throw my trash away. >Mia is doing the same and getting ready to walk out. >l'm getting close to doing the same. >She's finally walking out and I start to follow. >She holds the door for me."ohshit.jpg" >Her hand touches mine by accident. >Urethra is throbbing. >Hi, Mia, I've seen some of your work and it's great. You got a boyfriend? Sorry if I'm creeping you out. She says "Yeah I do have one and you kinda are" - then I tell her "whatever, I bet he doesn't even kiss you" and autistically walk way.
File: mkultra.jpg (126 KB, 1024x1024) U Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)19:46:06 No.867467771 >>867469002 >>867469072 The time I met a pornstar IRL. >l was going to Chipotle when I saw Mia Khalifa putting in an order. >Had to look twice to be sure and it was definitely her. >I was a few people behind her in line, and kind of anxious to at least say hi. >That w---- ordered so much food. A burrito and tacos. >On top of that I think a salad as if that made a difference. >Ready to put in my order now - just waiting for the person in front of me. >Make it quick so I can try to "accidentally" bump into Mia. >I do, then just say something stupid like "oh hi, you look familiar", like an idiot. >She just awkwardly looks at me and walks away. >Stupid bitch. >I go sit down to eat and think of another way, noticing she's also sitting and eating. >Got it - I'll just be direct and go tell her I jerked it to her p---. Already got reject anyway. >Unfettered, I creepily watch to try and keep eating at the same pace. >Eagerly watching her slide a hot burrito in her mouth, I get a slight stiffy. >So f------ hot, but I try to contain myself. >She has now moved on to her tacos. >That's it, she's getting closer to finishing her food. >How will I get her to like me? I'm still thinking. >Easy, just stick to the plan! Be direct. I tell myself. >You can do this. >Never forget the plan. >Even if you aren't feeling confident, don't let it show. >Very nervous now, and she's almost done with her salad. >Every second closer to me going full retard. >Ready for this, I get up slowly to throw my trash away. >Mia is doing the same and getting ready to walk out. >l'm getting close to doing the same. >She's finally walking out and I start to follow. >She holds the door for me."ohshit.jpg" >Her hand touches mine by accident. >Urethra is throbbing. >Hi, Mia, I've seen some of your work and it's great. You got a boyfriend? Sorry if I'm creeping you out. She says "Yeah I do have one and you kinda are" - then I tell her "whatever, I bet he doesn't even kiss you" and autistically walk way.

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Reddit anon is disappointed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)21:23:13 No.66310344 >be me, redditard >bored one day so go on 4chan >it's just a bunch of creeps, retards, pedos and depressed coomers 190 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)21:23:13 No.66310344 >be me, redditard >bored one day so go on 4chan >it's just a bunch of creeps, retards, pedos and depressed coomers 190 KB JPG

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Anon doesn’t like Japan | /r/Greentext

>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone
>Be me, Japan >Enslave women to become sex slaves >Massacre 14m innocent POWS >Attack Pearl Harbor despite US being neutral >Commit many more war crimes >Get nuked >Everyone forgets about my war crimes >Don't get punished >Sympathy from everyone

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Anon works in tech | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)20:10:36 No.867465928 > Placed 3rd in international collegiate chemical engineering competition. > Increased profits by 12% at a coffee factory. > Automated lidar manufacturing at a very well funded self-driving car 50 KB PNG company. > Now I upgrade computers to Win10 from XP. How do you deal with knowing that you've peaked and it's all downhill from here? 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 11/26/21(Fri)20:10:36 No.867465928 > Placed 3rd in international collegiate chemical engineering competition. > Increased profits by 12% at a coffee factory. > Automated lidar manufacturing at a very well funded self-driving car 50 KB PNG company. > Now I upgrade computers to Win10 from XP. How do you deal with knowing that you've peaked and it's all downhill from here? 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon has a stuffy nose | /r/Greentext


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Anon uses the bathroom | /r/Greentext


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Anon is unhappy with his name | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/27/21(Sat)00:29:45 No.867460819 >be me >born >parents get to choose my name >Choose Gaynor >f------ GAYNOR 45 KB JPG

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Anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)06:07:47 No.66253240 >tfw I remembered the time I went over to my friend's house after school and started masturbating to p--- on his computer in front of him and his girlfriend "because I was horny" 48 KB PNG
: Anonymous 11/22/21(Mon)06:07:47 No.66253240 >tfw I remembered the time I went over to my friend's house after school and started masturbating to p--- on his computer in front of him and his girlfriend "because I was horny" 48 KB PNG

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he fucking shit on his cock | /r/Greentext

File: aB0qBz1_700b.jpg (100 KB, 700x2497) Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)11:53:56 No.845374686 >>845374748 >>845374776 >>845374789 >>845374833 >>845374904 I fuckeda trap and regret it >meet fren from discord >we live near eachother >hes a trap >we get super close and start meeting up >one night we start drinking >one thing leads to another and we're getting handsy >he goes to the bathroom to "prep" >he comes back, im diamonds slide my d--- in >feels like a ring around my d--- >eh it feels ok for me >Start pounding away no wrap >hes moaning >pull out my d--- >LITERAL WATÉRY SHIŤ ON MY C--- >S--- has mixed with the Lube and is now leaking out of His ass >it fills the room with a Strong smell of S---- >He leaked poop all over my bed >I run to the bathroom to vomit >*PUKE* >my d--- is still semi hard >look down at it >'oh my f------ god" >tiny small bits of white string on my d--- >Tiny small bits of White String moving ALL OVER MY D--- >kicked that mentally ill freak out of my Flat >spend 3 hours in the shower Anonymous 01./21/21(Thu)11:56:55 No.845374776 >>845374686 (OP) Ha. You got ass worms on your pp
File: aB0qBz1_700b.jpg (100 KB, 700x2497) Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)11:53:56 No.845374686 >>845374748 >>845374776 >>845374789 >>845374833 >>845374904 I fuckeda trap and regret it >meet fren from discord >we live near eachother >hes a trap >we get super close and start meeting up >one night we start drinking >one thing leads to another and we're getting handsy >he goes to the bathroom to "prep" >he comes back, im diamonds slide my d--- in >feels like a ring around my d--- >eh it feels ok for me >Start pounding away no wrap >hes moaning >pull out my d--- >LITERAL WATÉRY SHIŤ ON MY C--- >S--- has mixed with the Lube and is now leaking out of His ass >it fills the room with a Strong smell of S---- >He leaked poop all over my bed >I run to the bathroom to vomit >*PUKE* >my d--- is still semi hard >look down at it >'oh my f------ god" >tiny small bits of white string on my d--- >Tiny small bits of White String moving ALL OVER MY D--- >kicked that mentally ill freak out of my Flat >spend 3 hours in the shower Anonymous 01./21/21(Thu)11:56:55 No.845374776 >>845374686 (OP) Ha. You got ass worms on your pp

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Anon upsets a prostitute | /r/Greentext

>Had sex with prostitute >Seen her several times >Laying there after f------ >She says she has a question for me >Tell her to go ahead >She asks me why I pay for prostitutes >I tell her that's stupid for a prostitute to 373 KB JPG ask >She says she's curious >l tell her because women don't want me and l'm a loser >She says "that's just all in your head." >l tell her to mind her own business >She says its true >Ask her when she's leaving >She gets up and calls me a d--- >Leaves What is that bitch's problem? I didn't even say anything to her and she started prying into my business.
>Had sex with prostitute >Seen her several times >Laying there after f------ >She says she has a question for me >Tell her to go ahead >She asks me why I pay for prostitutes >I tell her that's stupid for a prostitute to 373 KB JPG ask >She says she's curious >l tell her because women don't want me and l'm a loser >She says "that's just all in your head." >l tell her to mind her own business >She says its true >Ask her when she's leaving >She gets up and calls me a d--- >Leaves What is that bitch's problem? I didn't even say anything to her and she started prying into my business.

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Ribbit, for his pleasure | /r/Greentext

No.738861551 07/14/17(Fri)19:05:19 mcgrbr.gif GIF 1.9 MİB 290x162 I got a story about this >be 12 >6th grade >really need to piss >excuse myself from band class >rush to bathroom >It's all the way on the other side of the school >discreetly holding my d--- closed as I do >arrive >decide to kick down stall door like l'm in the movies >it's f------ occupied >kid s------- frog-style with both feet on the toilet seat >watch his turd quickly retract into his rectum like a scared turtle >the scare causes me to piss myself >mfw
No.738861551 07/14/17(Fri)19:05:19 mcgrbr.gif GIF 1.9 MİB 290x162 I got a story about this >be 12 >6th grade >really need to piss >excuse myself from band class >rush to bathroom >It's all the way on the other side of the school >discreetly holding my d--- closed as I do >arrive >decide to kick down stall door like l'm in the movies >it's f------ occupied >kid s------- frog-style with both feet on the toilet seat >watch his turd quickly retract into his rectum like a scared turtle >the scare causes me to piss myself >mfw

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anon dindu nuffin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)21:28:01 No.9722834 File: asscryed.jpg (252 KB, 644x660) >>9722880 >feel bad for a lonely guy in my class >invite him to a cosplay event >he shows up dressed as Fred Flintstone in blackface >he keeps screaming "I yabba dabba dindu nuffin!" This was a f------ mistake.
Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)21:28:01 No.9722834 File: asscryed.jpg (252 KB, 644x660) >>9722880 >feel bad for a lonely guy in my class >invite him to a cosplay event >he shows up dressed as Fred Flintstone in blackface >he keeps screaming "I yabba dabba dindu nuffin!" This was a f------ mistake.

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Now it is... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Party stories thread 02/22/19(Fri)01:42:35 No.51106420 > be me > be at some birthday party > someone announces that we will be playing musical chairs > whatever.gif > winner will get a prize > count me in.jpg > manage to keep winning until I'm the last 61 KB JPG player with a qt3.14 > song starts to play and we start running around a chair like tards > Song stops and I sit on the chair first > Immediately after I sit down qt3.14 sits down right on top of me with the force of 1000 suns See ya later Virginians : Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:11:46 No.51107158 is your reddit thread up yet?
: Anonymous Party stories thread 02/22/19(Fri)01:42:35 No.51106420 > be me > be at some birthday party > someone announces that we will be playing musical chairs > whatever.gif > winner will get a prize > count me in.jpg > manage to keep winning until I'm the last 61 KB JPG player with a qt3.14 > song starts to play and we start running around a chair like tards > Song stops and I sit on the chair first > Immediately after I sit down qt3.14 sits down right on top of me with the force of 1000 suns See ya later Virginians : Anonymous 02/22/19(Fri)03:11:46 No.51107158 is your reddit thread up yet?

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Anon is off the dryl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)18:56:46 No.66040279 Benadryl Anyone here ever abused allergy medicine? ALLERGY Diphenhydramine HCI 25 mg | Antihistamine >700 mg benadryl >pick up phone to play clash of clans O Soeing Dy Wry k ORuny None Ohy Thuat ULTRATABS 24TABLETS 98 KB JPG >spend 30 minutes on my village >phone vanishes >phone was upstairs the whole time >feel like utter shet for a week afterwards
: Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)18:56:46 No.66040279 Benadryl Anyone here ever abused allergy medicine? ALLERGY Diphenhydramine HCI 25 mg | Antihistamine >700 mg benadryl >pick up phone to play clash of clans O Soeing Dy Wry k ORuny None Ohy Thuat ULTRATABS 24TABLETS 98 KB JPG >spend 30 minutes on my village >phone vanishes >phone was upstairs the whole time >feel like utter shet for a week afterwards

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I haven't seen this posted in a while. | /r/Greentext

File: 1442571422947.jpg (220 KB, 1182x966) Anonymous 03/07/16(Mon)18:05:16 No.672747306 [Reply] » >>672749164 >be me >going to see the viewing of Zootopia >in the theater here they have an RPX viewing place where you can reserve seats >reserve the entire row, costs me almost $150 >this is the best row, the one right by the stairs >the one that all the moms with their little s---- go to sit at because it's the easiest to get to >sit right in the middle >hot cooked food to the left, drink, popcorn to the right >moms start pouring in with their spawn >trying to sit down >"sorry but all of these seats are reserved" >"for who?" >"for me" >"you can't do that" >"yes, I can" >almost every single one of them ask to go see a manager, carrying their spawn along with them >manager comes in, I show him the tickets with the seat spot numbers as proof that I reserved the seats >"sorry ma'am, he reserved them, but there are plenty of other seats to sit at" >at this point they don't even care where they sit, they just don't want me to win >they start complaining to the manager about how it's b------- that I get to reserve every seat in the row and how they should change their policy to where each person can only reserve one seat and bla bla bla >manager backs me up though, what a trooper >they accept defeat and take their seats >few moments later, some people come in without kids, and go to sit down in the row I reserved >soccer mom in the row above me tells them in a very bitchy way "you can't sit there, he reserved every single seat in that row just for him. It's b-------" >"no it's fine, you guys can sit here" >this just pisses her off more >she storms out and gets a manager again >hear her yelling at the manager about how he's discriminating against her >she threatens to leave >he kid starts crying >she admits defeat again and sits down >l audibly laugh >"that's it" >she grabs her kid by the arm and leaves >mfw
File: 1442571422947.jpg (220 KB, 1182x966) Anonymous 03/07/16(Mon)18:05:16 No.672747306 [Reply] » >>672749164 >be me >going to see the viewing of Zootopia >in the theater here they have an RPX viewing place where you can reserve seats >reserve the entire row, costs me almost $150 >this is the best row, the one right by the stairs >the one that all the moms with their little s---- go to sit at because it's the easiest to get to >sit right in the middle >hot cooked food to the left, drink, popcorn to the right >moms start pouring in with their spawn >trying to sit down >"sorry but all of these seats are reserved" >"for who?" >"for me" >"you can't do that" >"yes, I can" >almost every single one of them ask to go see a manager, carrying their spawn along with them >manager comes in, I show him the tickets with the seat spot numbers as proof that I reserved the seats >"sorry ma'am, he reserved them, but there are plenty of other seats to sit at" >at this point they don't even care where they sit, they just don't want me to win >they start complaining to the manager about how it's b------- that I get to reserve every seat in the row and how they should change their policy to where each person can only reserve one seat and bla bla bla >manager backs me up though, what a trooper >they accept defeat and take their seats >few moments later, some people come in without kids, and go to sit down in the row I reserved >soccer mom in the row above me tells them in a very bitchy way "you can't sit there, he reserved every single seat in that row just for him. It's b-------" >"no it's fine, you guys can sit here" >this just pisses her off more >she storms out and gets a manager again >hear her yelling at the manager about how he's discriminating against her >she threatens to leave >he kid starts crying >she admits defeat again and sits down >l audibly laugh >"that's it" >she grabs her kid by the arm and leaves >mfw

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anon gets laid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/27/16(Wed)01:19:28 No.335628183 File: 1431476597805.png (3 KB, 194x205) 35628450>>3356 >335628 35628797 >>335E >>335627620 (OP) >>335627812 >In high school >Sister was 2 years ahead of me >l am super f------ gay >Some pro-dude who was dating my sister and also bullies me corners me during lunch >"I f----- your sister real good" and all that >Nervous, not sure what to say, dont want himto beat me up >"M-Maybe you should f--- me instead" >He laughs at the time but later that day comes over to our place (since he's dating my sis) >Sis runs to the store to get some s--- >He looks at me "So, still want me to f--- you" >F---- me, it was really f------ good >This continues for months until he dumps my sister for me >We're still going out
Anonymous 04/27/16(Wed)01:19:28 No.335628183 File: 1431476597805.png (3 KB, 194x205) 35628450>>3356 >335628 35628797 >>335E >>335627620 (OP) >>335627812 >In high school >Sister was 2 years ahead of me >l am super f------ gay >Some pro-dude who was dating my sister and also bullies me corners me during lunch >"I f----- your sister real good" and all that >Nervous, not sure what to say, dont want himto beat me up >"M-Maybe you should f--- me instead" >He laughs at the time but later that day comes over to our place (since he's dating my sis) >Sis runs to the store to get some s--- >He looks at me "So, still want me to f--- you" >F---- me, it was really f------ good >This continues for months until he dumps my sister for me >We're still going out

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Anon plays air hockey. | /r/Greentext

File: Nervous pepe.jpg (7 KB, 231x218) Anonymous 03/12/17(Sun)15:57:54 No.35478083 >Playing air hockey with sister's friend. >She's pregnant >Accidentally knock the puck into her stomach >Joke that I used my secret baby killing technique >She has a miscarriage.
File: Nervous pepe.jpg (7 KB, 231x218) Anonymous 03/12/17(Sun)15:57:54 No.35478083 >Playing air hockey with sister's friend. >She's pregnant >Accidentally knock the puck into her stomach >Joke that I used my secret baby killing technique >She has a miscarriage.

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Anon describes broccoli | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)22:47:25 No.106871385 Do real kids actually not like broccoli? It seems to be a trope for characters to hate it, but I loved eating broccoli and other vegetables as a kid. 38 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)22:52:38 No.106871552 No. I always thought the trope was ridiculous, even as a kid. >>106876232 # : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)22:57:05 No.106871668 I was poor so we had nothing but microwave s--- and ramen. I didnt try broccoli until i was in jr high and i was so surprised at how good it tasted. My friends mom had made broccoli and cheese. I ate about 3 servings and told her how it was my first time to try it. told them how cartoons always told me it would taste so bad. I wish i could have f----- my friends mom >>106871807 # >>106877776 #
: Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)22:47:25 No.106871385 Do real kids actually not like broccoli? It seems to be a trope for characters to hate it, but I loved eating broccoli and other vegetables as a kid. 38 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)22:52:38 No.106871552 No. I always thought the trope was ridiculous, even as a kid. >>106876232 # : Anonymous 04/06/19(Sat)22:57:05 No.106871668 I was poor so we had nothing but microwave s--- and ramen. I didnt try broccoli until i was in jr high and i was so surprised at how good it tasted. My friends mom had made broccoli and cheese. I ate about 3 servings and told her how it was my first time to try it. told them how cartoons always told me it would taste so bad. I wish i could have f----- my friends mom >>106871807 # >>106877776 #

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