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Anon’s cat is the best | /r/Greentext


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Anons gf works | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)20:10:23 No.867342400 >GF is working on BLACKED Friday 237 KB PNG
: Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)20:10:23 No.867342400 >GF is working on BLACKED Friday 237 KB PNG

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Anon loses the will to live | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)23:11:46 No.867289938 >2087 >old bastard >rich as f--- from crpyto investments i made decades ago >depressed beyond repair >wife is 25 y/o gold digger from spain >slumped in my gaming chair playing 9 KB JPG gta v with ultra realistic graphics mod because closest thing i can get to a gta vi >my super rtx sun powered gtx 9047 running it at 350 fps solid >shooting random civs because bored >quit game >go to disney+ which now has every movie and tv show in existence because disney owns everything now >start watching marvel's spider man: back to 2020 >movie is just nostalgic bait for people who grew up with tom holland's spider man >finish movie >feel nothing >decide to stare at my 2,000+ nft collection >go to sleep >die
: Anonymous 11/23/21(Tue)23:11:46 No.867289938 >2087 >old bastard >rich as f--- from crpyto investments i made decades ago >depressed beyond repair >wife is 25 y/o gold digger from spain >slumped in my gaming chair playing 9 KB JPG gta v with ultra realistic graphics mod because closest thing i can get to a gta vi >my super rtx sun powered gtx 9047 running it at 350 fps solid >shooting random civs because bored >quit game >go to disney+ which now has every movie and tv show in existence because disney owns everything now >start watching marvel's spider man: back to 2020 >movie is just nostalgic bait for people who grew up with tom holland's spider man >finish movie >feel nothing >decide to stare at my 2,000+ nft collection >go to sleep >die

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anon is a big | /r/Greentext

Stopped getting bullied stories >be me >constantly picked on because of my size >kids kick me and taunt me 25 KB JPG and s--- >one day in class chad tells me to kill myself >"oh I guarentee im gonna kill myself pretty soon I mostly just wonder how many of you I'll take with me" >class goes silent >mfw never got bullied again
Stopped getting bullied stories >be me >constantly picked on because of my size >kids kick me and taunt me 25 KB JPG and s--- >one day in class chad tells me to kill myself >"oh I guarentee im gonna kill myself pretty soon I mostly just wonder how many of you I'll take with me" >class goes silent >mfw never got bullied again

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Anon has back pain | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)14:27:53 No.64489838 >be me >have sore back from tight lumbar region >look it up and turns out it's from certain muscles being weak compared to other ones >try exercises to strengthen said weak muscles 21 KB JPG >mfw I realise it's the muscles used when f------ people >mfw turns out sex could have stopped me from having a f----- back How do you do, fellow virgins?
: Anonymous 11/25/21(Thu)14:27:53 No.64489838 >be me >have sore back from tight lumbar region >look it up and turns out it's from certain muscles being weak compared to other ones >try exercises to strengthen said weak muscles 21 KB JPG >mfw I realise it's the muscles used when f------ people >mfw turns out sex could have stopped me from having a f----- back How do you do, fellow virgins?

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anon thinks the guy is gay and pedo | /r/Greentext


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Except the 6th and the last | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I've realized there are only 10 people on r9k >Me >You >That gay anon >That repressed homosexual homophobe >The nazy 7 KB JPG >The female >The "tfw no x bf" guy >The two lonely virgins >And that anon that has a gf Prove me wrong.
: Anonymous I've realized there are only 10 people on r9k >Me >You >That gay anon >That repressed homosexual homophobe >The nazy 7 KB JPG >The female >The "tfw no x bf" guy >The two lonely virgins >And that anon that has a gf Prove me wrong.

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Anon is a water tester | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)11:09:48 No.64453400 >be me >look for entry level jobs on the ads on the joblist site 1.73 MB PNG >"water tester" >"competitive salary" >you have to understand that I am stupid to the point of almost being mentally disabled >I show up thinking l'm going to taste test water >no >but my interviewer laughs and tells me l'm hilarious >l get a uniform and a schedule >all I have to do is put strips of paper into samples and record colors onto a pad of grid paper and then write a report >my job is so boring I'm literally posting on 4chan on company time
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)11:09:48 No.64453400 >be me >look for entry level jobs on the ads on the joblist site 1.73 MB PNG >"water tester" >"competitive salary" >you have to understand that I am stupid to the point of almost being mentally disabled >I show up thinking l'm going to taste test water >no >but my interviewer laughs and tells me l'm hilarious >l get a uniform and a schedule >all I have to do is put strips of paper into samples and record colors onto a pad of grid paper and then write a report >my job is so boring I'm literally posting on 4chan on company time

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Anon is Canadian | /r/Greentext

> be me > Canadian > go to school don't get shot
> be me > Canadian > go to school don't get shot

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Y'all have no real comprehension of what an actual greentext story is on 4chan. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 09/15/15(Tue)08:49:12 No.22343150 >>22343170 >>22343182 >>22343184 >>22343186 >>22343205 >>22343263 >>22343296 >>22343394 >>22343500 >>22343508 >>22343847 >>22344155 >>22344496 >>22344623 >>22343061 >>22343062 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drain_fly more stories because you guys asked >every night browse 4chan on phone in bed >drain flies attracted to light so they bounce off phone >get fed up one night and s-- into pillow while drain flies bounce off my head >dining room table is completely covered in old dishware and beyond mummified food >plastic milk container rots and explodes >the smell was the most unpleasant thing i've experienced >as i'm out walking my dog one day (i keep him outside) a neighbor awkwardly asks why my windows are so dirty and why i still have christmas stickers up from like four years ago >j-just forgot, haha' >get sick once and puke all over toilet >fall asleep and it's sticky and s--- when i wake up so i leave it >it's still there and i hover on the toilet now >fridge won't shut so it gets filled with bugs and rotten s--- >shove it into a corner and use minifridge for a month >eventually take a discarded fridge from neighbor's curb while it's night >old fridge is still there the only time i talk to people is when my neighbors say hello while i'm walking my dog every now and then i have no real friends and no family and i am going to be found a rotten husk in my computer chair surrounded by filth when a government worker comes to see why i haven't picked up my neetbux check for the month yet anybody want some pictures >get sick once and puke all over toilet >>22343687 I gagged a lil tbh Maruohan Ramen Maruchan RamE Strat Gred Pi amon this will get 5k upboats on reddit >>22343780 lived like this all my life, pretty much used to it Franks Great SARP CHEDDAR CHISE K--& HARGE >>22343780 lived like this all my life, pretty much used to it K--&G Ame XLARGE >every once in a while i'll boil some water and scrub myself O Anonymous 09/15/15(Tue)11:08:47 No.22345004 >>22345053 >>22344668 It's not ruined, it's got an Eco friendly patina preserving the structure. Mold and fungus are basically the structural backbone of the house, it lives and breathes, and on a hot day outside the temperature is 12 degrees cooler outside and the air 80% more moist. It is its own ecosystem of some very niche organisms that have all come together to form a wonderful symbiosis that started a sealed system of ecology. It's quite amazing really, the whole thing is one giant organism. I am betting that the organisms living there have evolved a defence mechanism to any new intruding life form, so it achieves a self reliance. Together with its own Immunity I am willing to bet that by adding a source of food you can grow a self sustained Eco system that would serve as a repopulation nucleus in the case of a full on doomsday scenario such as an all out nuclear war or asteroid impact. You are doing your part to ensure some form of survival for life. KILL Me y KiLL Ma M >>22344080 OPEN This f------ thread THE SOUR open sour cream the sourest of them all CREAM >>22345432 OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT Púre & Natural SOUR CREAM, Daisy Daisy SOUM er Nat >>22345511 PLS OPEN SOUR CREAM Pure Natural SOUR SOUR CREAM R PLS OPEN AND POUR ON YOUR FACE please just post the inside of it REVEAL THE CREAM I CANT TAKE THE SUSPENSE ANYMORE UR EAM >>22345675 JUST SHOW IT ALREADY THỊ SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME NO MORE TEASES CHAD I NEED THE CREAM Dais BRAND SOUR CE Pure & Na 1b 06 02) 454g >>22345805 NO WHAT ARE YOU WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU trying to do DOING WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU MAD MAN Daisy Nuclear fusion imminent SOUR CREAM Pure&N YOU WOULDN'T 820 АBORT I REPEAT ABORT I'm so scared right now PLEASE OP THINK OF THE CHILDREN Is it on fire or expanding? Did the smell get worse? Can you describe the smell as specifically as you can? >the microwave shows the reflection of what was once a man. OP is merely a shadow of humanity. Fridgebro pls. Enough. Are you okay, fridgebro? This is worse than any horror movie could ever dream of being. JUST DRINK IT! OP is kill. OP YOUR SACRIFICE WILL NOT BE IN VAIN. Wwwwwwwwwwwwrrr Daisy
O Anonymous 09/15/15(Tue)08:49:12 No.22343150 >>22343170 >>22343182 >>22343184 >>22343186 >>22343205 >>22343263 >>22343296 >>22343394 >>22343500 >>22343508 >>22343847 >>22344155 >>22344496 >>22344623 >>22343061 >>22343062 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drain_fly more stories because you guys asked >every night browse 4chan on phone in bed >drain flies attracted to light so they bounce off phone >get fed up one night and s-- into pillow while drain flies bounce off my head >dining room table is completely covered in old dishware and beyond mummified food >plastic milk container rots and explodes >the smell was the most unpleasant thing i've experienced >as i'm out walking my dog one day (i keep him outside) a neighbor awkwardly asks why my windows are so dirty and why i still have christmas stickers up from like four years ago >j-just forgot, haha' >get sick once and puke all over toilet >fall asleep and it's sticky and s--- when i wake up so i leave it >it's still there and i hover on the toilet now >fridge won't shut so it gets filled with bugs and rotten s--- >shove it into a corner and use minifridge for a month >eventually take a discarded fridge from neighbor's curb while it's night >old fridge is still there the only time i talk to people is when my neighbors say hello while i'm walking my dog every now and then i have no real friends and no family and i am going to be found a rotten husk in my computer chair surrounded by filth when a government worker comes to see why i haven't picked up my neetbux check for the month yet anybody want some pictures >get sick once and puke all over toilet >>22343687 I gagged a lil tbh Maruohan Ramen Maruchan RamE Strat Gred Pi amon this will get 5k upboats on reddit >>22343780 lived like this all my life, pretty much used to it Franks Great SARP CHEDDAR CHISE K--& HARGE >>22343780 lived like this all my life, pretty much used to it K--&G Ame XLARGE >every once in a while i'll boil some water and scrub myself O Anonymous 09/15/15(Tue)11:08:47 No.22345004 >>22345053 >>22344668 It's not ruined, it's got an Eco friendly patina preserving the structure. Mold and fungus are basically the structural backbone of the house, it lives and breathes, and on a hot day outside the temperature is 12 degrees cooler outside and the air 80% more moist. It is its own ecosystem of some very niche organisms that have all come together to form a wonderful symbiosis that started a sealed system of ecology. It's quite amazing really, the whole thing is one giant organism. I am betting that the organisms living there have evolved a defence mechanism to any new intruding life form, so it achieves a self reliance. Together with its own Immunity I am willing to bet that by adding a source of food you can grow a self sustained Eco system that would serve as a repopulation nucleus in the case of a full on doomsday scenario such as an all out nuclear war or asteroid impact. You are doing your part to ensure some form of survival for life. KILL Me y KiLL Ma M >>22344080 OPEN This f------ thread THE SOUR open sour cream the sourest of them all CREAM >>22345432 OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT Púre & Natural SOUR CREAM, Daisy Daisy SOUM er Nat >>22345511 PLS OPEN SOUR CREAM Pure Natural SOUR SOUR CREAM R PLS OPEN AND POUR ON YOUR FACE please just post the inside of it REVEAL THE CREAM I CANT TAKE THE SUSPENSE ANYMORE UR EAM >>22345675 JUST SHOW IT ALREADY THỊ SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME NO MORE TEASES CHAD I NEED THE CREAM Dais BRAND SOUR CE Pure & Na 1b 06 02) 454g >>22345805 NO WHAT ARE YOU WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU trying to do DOING WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU MAD MAN Daisy Nuclear fusion imminent SOUR CREAM Pure&N YOU WOULDN'T 820 АBORT I REPEAT ABORT I'm so scared right now PLEASE OP THINK OF THE CHILDREN Is it on fire or expanding? Did the smell get worse? Can you describe the smell as specifically as you can? >the microwave shows the reflection of what was once a man. OP is merely a shadow of humanity. Fridgebro pls. Enough. Are you okay, fridgebro? This is worse than any horror movie could ever dream of being. JUST DRINK IT! OP is kill. OP YOUR SACRIFICE WILL NOT BE IN VAIN. Wwwwwwwwwwwwrrr Daisy

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Anon is dying | /r/Greentext


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Who is cutting onions? | /r/Greentext


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One-Man Band | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)00:42:57 No.66277830 >know how to play guitar, bass, violin, piano, and even accordion >still no gf what the hell else am i supposed to do? 39 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)00:43:55 No.66277838 keep playing the skin flute
: Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)00:42:57 No.66277830 >know how to play guitar, bass, violin, piano, and even accordion >still no gf what the hell else am i supposed to do? 39 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed)00:43:55 No.66277838 keep playing the skin flute

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Anon prepares a special milkshake | /r/Greentext


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anon likes tartar sauce | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/03/18(Sat)15:12:54 No.10231090 ► >>10231176 >>10231191 File: 477732678.jpg (45 KB, 600x600) >go to Long John Silvers drive thru >order food >ask for extra tartar sauce (I like a lot of tartar) >cashier bitch hands me 2 packets >says she can give me more but would have to charge me for them >ask for cup of water (free) >pull into parking spot >dump out water >take cup inside >fill cup with tartar sauce from self serve pump >leave Don't f--- with me Long Johns, I'll hack your f------ system
O Anonymous 03/03/18(Sat)15:12:54 No.10231090 ► >>10231176 >>10231191 File: 477732678.jpg (45 KB, 600x600) >go to Long John Silvers drive thru >order food >ask for extra tartar sauce (I like a lot of tartar) >cashier bitch hands me 2 packets >says she can give me more but would have to charge me for them >ask for cup of water (free) >pull into parking spot >dump out water >take cup inside >fill cup with tartar sauce from self serve pump >leave Don't f--- with me Long Johns, I'll hack your f------ system

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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:01:23 No.9231307 >make thread >no one replies >pull out my phone and reply to my thread 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:04:06 No.9231311 totally man haha good thread dude >>9231316 #
: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:01:23 No.9231307 >make thread >no one replies >pull out my phone and reply to my thread 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:04:06 No.9231311 totally man haha good thread dude >>9231316 #

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Anon is Straight. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw
: Anonymous 10/16/20(Fri)21:09:23 No.838004040 >be me >21 >super straight male >get horny one night and decide to go use the local glory hole >actually kinda enjoy it >half way through person on the otherside moans 153 KB PNG >it's a guy's moan >realize ive been sucking a man's c--- this entire time mfw

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Anon gets in a fight with his sister | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 37 minutes ago 867321554 : >get into huge fight with my older sister >say horrible things to each other like I wish you were never born or I wish you'd die in a car accident or you should kill yourself >don't talk to each other for the rest of the day >feel like s--- >can't sleep at night >at 3.30 am send her a single text "I love you" >instantly get back a reply “I love you too" 7 REPLIES
Anonymous 37 minutes ago 867321554 : >get into huge fight with my older sister >say horrible things to each other like I wish you were never born or I wish you'd die in a car accident or you should kill yourself >don't talk to each other for the rest of the day >feel like s--- >can't sleep at night >at 3.30 am send her a single text "I love you" >instantly get back a reply “I love you too" 7 REPLIES

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Anon totally knows how women work | /r/Greentext

! Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed) 12:09:57 No.66284400 I have been thinking a lot about this and there really is no reason I should not have a girlfriend, and I genuinely think I am entitled to one >You're probably ugly and have bad hygiene!! 76 KB JPG False. I shower on the daily and am quite attractive >You probably don't have a job or a stable income!!! Again false. I make $80,000 yearly, while many here make more this is more than enough to live comfortably and support a family. >You don't know how to talk to women!!! Once again false. I have studied women for quite some time and am quite familiar with their thought patterns and mannerisms >Women don't owe you anything!!! Yep you guessed it, False. As a well functioning, contributing member of society it is of the nation's best interest I obtain a wife and breed by high IQ genes for the next generation. I understand women are largely impulsive and still rely on their evolutionary desires in picking a mate (remember I have studied them for quite a while now. These urges however lead them to low IQ thugs who are incapable of even sticking around for the child and thus leads to a single mother epidemic we have now, proving that women cannot be trusted in picking a suitable mate for themselves. We've let women have their freedom for years now and we are seeing the effects of it in a decaying society, the government must step in and regulate marriages and I am a prime example of someone who deserves a wife. Curious to know what you guys think?
! Anonymous 11/24/21(Wed) 12:09:57 No.66284400 I have been thinking a lot about this and there really is no reason I should not have a girlfriend, and I genuinely think I am entitled to one >You're probably ugly and have bad hygiene!! 76 KB JPG False. I shower on the daily and am quite attractive >You probably don't have a job or a stable income!!! Again false. I make $80,000 yearly, while many here make more this is more than enough to live comfortably and support a family. >You don't know how to talk to women!!! Once again false. I have studied women for quite some time and am quite familiar with their thought patterns and mannerisms >Women don't owe you anything!!! Yep you guessed it, False. As a well functioning, contributing member of society it is of the nation's best interest I obtain a wife and breed by high IQ genes for the next generation. I understand women are largely impulsive and still rely on their evolutionary desires in picking a mate (remember I have studied them for quite a while now. These urges however lead them to low IQ thugs who are incapable of even sticking around for the child and thus leads to a single mother epidemic we have now, proving that women cannot be trusted in picking a suitable mate for themselves. We've let women have their freedom for years now and we are seeing the effects of it in a decaying society, the government must step in and regulate marriages and I am a prime example of someone who deserves a wife. Curious to know what you guys think?

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Anon is thorough | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF

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