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Tweaking out | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets cock blocked from a young age | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)07:59:13 No.50581767 >Be me >3 years old >at the playground > girl asks me to play with her >sure, why not? >mom calls me to go home >grin on her face 62 KB JPG >"hey anon who's your girlfriend" >embarrassed for some reason >mom continues to bother me >whenever she sees me with any girl she would pull this s--- >dad does this to0 >this goes on for the next couple years >7th grade >avoid girls completely to not be bothered at home > do this till the end of high school > Now in college > mfw I have no clue how to interact with girls, I just avoid them > mfw I visit home and my mom asks me why I don't have a girlfriend
: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)07:59:13 No.50581767 >Be me >3 years old >at the playground > girl asks me to play with her >sure, why not? >mom calls me to go home >grin on her face 62 KB JPG >"hey anon who's your girlfriend" >embarrassed for some reason >mom continues to bother me >whenever she sees me with any girl she would pull this s--- >dad does this to0 >this goes on for the next couple years >7th grade >avoid girls completely to not be bothered at home > do this till the end of high school > Now in college > mfw I have no clue how to interact with girls, I just avoid them > mfw I visit home and my mom asks me why I don't have a girlfriend

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Gabe announces Half Life 3 | /r/Greentext


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I wanna know too | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/31/16(Mon)18:00:10 No.57330160 THESE 2 OFFICERS HAVE KILLED OVER 250 PEOPLE WHILE ON DUTY. >new neighbors just moved right next to me >they tell me to not use WiFi because their son has WiFi WHY HAVEN'T THEY BEEN sickness PUNISHED? 1.07 MB PNG What's the most powerful router with the longest range for under $250?
: Anonymous 10/31/16(Mon)18:00:10 No.57330160 THESE 2 OFFICERS HAVE KILLED OVER 250 PEOPLE WHILE ON DUTY. >new neighbors just moved right next to me >they tell me to not use WiFi because their son has WiFi WHY HAVEN'T THEY BEEN sickness PUNISHED? 1.07 MB PNG What's the most powerful router with the longest range for under $250?

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Anon gets cucked by his sister | /r/Greentext

>meet new girl in uni >start chatting together and studying together >always sit next to each other in lectures >share lecture notes and quiz each other >progresses to hanging out >going to get lunch together and sharing hard drives full of anime with each other >one day out of the blue she just randomly ghosts >stops replying to me >stops coming to classes >finally after like a week she reappears at classes, sits far away from me >go up to her after class and start talking >she's distant and shy and giving me cold answers >suddenly she asks "why didn't you tell me you have a girlfriend, anon?" >"what??!! | don't...." >"don't lie, I saw you with her..." >tells me she saw me at a shopping centre with another girl much prettier than her, who was grabbing my arm and all over me and constantly laughing and touching me >realise that she literally saw me with my older sister when she was visiting town >tell her the truth that it was my sister, and she's just a touchy feely person like that >"no way anon" >she still doesn't believe me >tfw now l'm trying to get her to meet up with my sister as its the only way I can explain the situation is there literally any way to resolve this? I got cucked by my own f------ big sister and I don't think she realises how bad she screwed me over with the one girl I have romantic feelings for. 1h (11/12 14:17) · 866556588 2 Replies Literally the only way to fix it is to repeatedly f--- your sister. Post vids, Anon. ...
>meet new girl in uni >start chatting together and studying together >always sit next to each other in lectures >share lecture notes and quiz each other >progresses to hanging out >going to get lunch together and sharing hard drives full of anime with each other >one day out of the blue she just randomly ghosts >stops replying to me >stops coming to classes >finally after like a week she reappears at classes, sits far away from me >go up to her after class and start talking >she's distant and shy and giving me cold answers >suddenly she asks "why didn't you tell me you have a girlfriend, anon?" >"what??!! | don't...." >"don't lie, I saw you with her..." >tells me she saw me at a shopping centre with another girl much prettier than her, who was grabbing my arm and all over me and constantly laughing and touching me >realise that she literally saw me with my older sister when she was visiting town >tell her the truth that it was my sister, and she's just a touchy feely person like that >"no way anon" >she still doesn't believe me >tfw now l'm trying to get her to meet up with my sister as its the only way I can explain the situation is there literally any way to resolve this? I got cucked by my own f------ big sister and I don't think she realises how bad she screwed me over with the one girl I have romantic feelings for. 1h (11/12 14:17) · 866556588 2 Replies Literally the only way to fix it is to repeatedly f--- your sister. Post vids, Anon. ...

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Anon is a prosecutor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)16:11:50 No.866530062 >Your honor, Mr Rittenhouse has a 3.00 K/D ratio, and has used the 30 kill nuke multiple times. The case solves itself 697 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)16:11:50 No.866530062 >Your honor, Mr Rittenhouse has a 3.00 K/D ratio, and has used the 30 kill nuke multiple times. The case solves itself 697 KB JPG

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Anon’s sister comes out | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:22:54 No.61999933 >be me >chillin in my room >mom comes in, tells me my sister is gay >kinda figured she was before, haircut, had a couple rainbow flags, 14 KB PNG thought she was bi tho >now realised my entire family's bloodline relies on me now >me >mfw just f--- my life man, all i feel is limitless guilt doom and despair I don't even care that she's gay, i support her, but this realisation has just made me feel 1000x worse about it 9 Replies View Thread
| Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:22:54 No.61999933 >be me >chillin in my room >mom comes in, tells me my sister is gay >kinda figured she was before, haircut, had a couple rainbow flags, 14 KB PNG thought she was bi tho >now realised my entire family's bloodline relies on me now >me >mfw just f--- my life man, all i feel is limitless guilt doom and despair I don't even care that she's gay, i support her, but this realisation has just made me feel 1000x worse about it 9 Replies View Thread

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Diamond in the rough | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:30:58 No.66119021 >backinthedays >be ill >parents tells me its fine if i dont go to school but I need to actually rest and not play vidya >"promise us anon youll take care of yourself" >"yeah sure" 62 KB JPG >they leave after 12 promises >whip out the m------------ nintendo ds pokemon diamond/pearl special edition >nothing personal wagecucks : Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:45:36 No.66119177 this pic goes hard, feel free to screenshot
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:30:58 No.66119021 >backinthedays >be ill >parents tells me its fine if i dont go to school but I need to actually rest and not play vidya >"promise us anon youll take care of yourself" >"yeah sure" 62 KB JPG >they leave after 12 promises >whip out the m------------ nintendo ds pokemon diamond/pearl special edition >nothing personal wagecucks : Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:45:36 No.66119177 this pic goes hard, feel free to screenshot

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Double-D standard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)14:29:48 No.64696588 >Guys say they like bigger asses and boobs >This is okay >Girls say they like taller men and bigger d---- >Suddenly this is wrong 423 KB PNG Why?
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)14:29:48 No.64696588 >Guys say they like bigger asses and boobs >This is okay >Girls say they like taller men and bigger d---- >Suddenly this is wrong 423 KB PNG Why?

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Anon gets drunk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)15:02:24 No.847604122 >be me end of high school >be in weed phase MILLIONAIRE >come to class high af >red af eyes reeking of weed >everyone looks at me and teacher asks if i smoked weed 64 KB JPG >too high to think of what to say >"no teacher i drank my dad's cannabis scent parfume and got drunk from alcohol in it" >teacher looks at me worried >i pull out my parfume from my backpack and drink it to prove myself >end up in a hospital >got suspended for being drunk in class
: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)15:02:24 No.847604122 >be me end of high school >be in weed phase MILLIONAIRE >come to class high af >red af eyes reeking of weed >everyone looks at me and teacher asks if i smoked weed 64 KB JPG >too high to think of what to say >"no teacher i drank my dad's cannabis scent parfume and got drunk from alcohol in it" >teacher looks at me worried >i pull out my parfume from my backpack and drink it to prove myself >end up in a hospital >got suspended for being drunk in class

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Anon flies with Muslims | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah

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Alpha move | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)08:31:55 No.66101795 >be me >bitten by mosquito >spend a couple minutes searching for it >finally find the m----------- >it's over 34 KB PNG >clap the little f----- >blood bursts in my hand >consume my blood and the mosquito's remains I get to have mine and your nutrients now, f-----. I won
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)08:31:55 No.66101795 >be me >bitten by mosquito >spend a couple minutes searching for it >finally find the m----------- >it's over 34 KB PNG >clap the little f----- >blood bursts in my hand >consume my blood and the mosquito's remains I get to have mine and your nutrients now, f-----. I won

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Anon has trust issues | /r/Greentext

File: EeknuXaVoAAvz4L.jpg (254 KB, 871x1200) U Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)19:33:43 No.866536004 [Reply] ► >husband buys us house >buys me whatever i want >does everything for me >will spend hours doing whatever i want to do just to see me smile >preg with his baby but at night i still think "does he really love me" why am i f------ like this.
File: EeknuXaVoAAvz4L.jpg (254 KB, 871x1200) U Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)19:33:43 No.866536004 [Reply] ► >husband buys us house >buys me whatever i want >does everything for me >will spend hours doing whatever i want to do just to see me smile >preg with his baby but at night i still think "does he really love me" why am i f------ like this.

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Anon had a thot mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon invites Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/17(Sat)12:38:49 No.41357827 >be 15 a decade ago >invite Chad over to play some xbox >he has to take a piss >pisses directly into the water >his masculinity bounces off the walls and echoes throughout the entire house >see sister touching herself in the doorway, biting 9 KB PNG her lip >hear mom moaning downstairs >sister calls me a stealth pissing fuckboi and asks why I always aim for the ceramic >tfw
: Anonymous 11/25/17(Sat)12:38:49 No.41357827 >be 15 a decade ago >invite Chad over to play some xbox >he has to take a piss >pisses directly into the water >his masculinity bounces off the walls and echoes throughout the entire house >see sister touching herself in the doorway, biting 9 KB PNG her lip >hear mom moaning downstairs >sister calls me a stealth pissing fuckboi and asks why I always aim for the ceramic >tfw

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Anon questions Kyle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:40:40 No.866528592 1636666838535.jpg 15 KB JPG If shrimp can't fry rice then why is it called shrimp fried rice Kyle. 7 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:40:40 No.866528592 1636666838535.jpg 15 KB JPG If shrimp can't fry rice then why is it called shrimp fried rice Kyle. 7 Replies View Thread

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Anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)12:21:16 No.866520335 >every girl has a tiny d--- and balls Anstumy iterie nd enis Sen Having sex with women is gay confirmed. The citeri The penis 81 KB JPG 7 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)12:21:16 No.866520335 >every girl has a tiny d--- and balls Anstumy iterie nd enis Sen Having sex with women is gay confirmed. The citeri The penis 81 KB JPG 7 Replies View Thread

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Anon was dealt a bad hand at life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)11:07:36 No.849648570 >one chance at life >born in Bosnia and Herzegovina 45 KB JPG
: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)11:07:36 No.849648570 >one chance at life >born in Bosnia and Herzegovina 45 KB JPG

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Anon is a Psychiatric Case Study | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)17:07:27 No.158997931 File: 1610855440533.png (13 KB, 112x112) >158998199 >158997375 (OP) >psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing >tell him I like doing "image edits" >he asks if I ever post them >I tell him I do and that they're used by other people and potentially seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously >he gets really interested and asks to see >show him over 100 original pepe edits >he says he's seen the character before >next session >him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me >they ask more about my memes >show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views >show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through >get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment >doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"
O Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)17:07:27 No.158997931 File: 1610855440533.png (13 KB, 112x112) >158998199 >158997375 (OP) >psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing >tell him I like doing "image edits" >he asks if I ever post them >I tell him I do and that they're used by other people and potentially seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously >he gets really interested and asks to see >show him over 100 original pepe edits >he says he's seen the character before >next session >him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me >they ask more about my memes >show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views >show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through >get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment >doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"

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White noise | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What did I do wrong? 11/11/21(Thu)10:33:02 No.66116607 >be me (black) >go to a class with mostly white students >have to sit through diversity and race training >don't say a word >everyone notices >next day go to a project meeting 19 KB JPG with professsor and two other students, all liberal >race is again brought up in an adjacent conversation about the curriculum of diversity foe next year >I dodge all questions that I can and answer vaguely >prof notices that I'm talking less than the others >"A-Anon... as a non-white person, does talking about race around all-whites make you uncomfortable?" >"yeah." >dead silence >prof changes subject What was I supposed to say in that situation? That I'm just helpless and am in need of white saviors? God, I f------ hate white people.
: Anonymous What did I do wrong? 11/11/21(Thu)10:33:02 No.66116607 >be me (black) >go to a class with mostly white students >have to sit through diversity and race training >don't say a word >everyone notices >next day go to a project meeting 19 KB JPG with professsor and two other students, all liberal >race is again brought up in an adjacent conversation about the curriculum of diversity foe next year >I dodge all questions that I can and answer vaguely >prof notices that I'm talking less than the others >"A-Anon... as a non-white person, does talking about race around all-whites make you uncomfortable?" >"yeah." >dead silence >prof changes subject What was I supposed to say in that situation? That I'm just helpless and am in need of white saviors? God, I f------ hate white people.

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