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Stronglifts 5x10 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ITT: Benefits of lifting as a (...) 11/11/21(Thu)23:21:03 No.64323169 FROG GAME >recently asked out a cute waitress LOOK AT THE out who I've talked to before and FROG who I thought we had a good thing going YOU WON!! >tells me she has a bf but that we can still be friends 62 KB JPG >tell her no worries, her bf is a lucky guy >instead of feeling defeated I use that "sad" energy to lift heavier weights at the gym >despite this being the 50th girl to reject me in my life I don't let the rejections get me down like they used to I guess I'm more mature than before but you never get used to rejections, they still hurt just not as much as before.
: Anonymous ITT: Benefits of lifting as a (...) 11/11/21(Thu)23:21:03 No.64323169 FROG GAME >recently asked out a cute waitress LOOK AT THE out who I've talked to before and FROG who I thought we had a good thing going YOU WON!! >tells me she has a bf but that we can still be friends 62 KB JPG >tell her no worries, her bf is a lucky guy >instead of feeling defeated I use that "sad" energy to lift heavier weights at the gym >despite this being the 50th girl to reject me in my life I don't let the rejections get me down like they used to I guess I'm more mature than before but you never get used to rejections, they still hurt just not as much as before.

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Anon is from Alabama | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)07:38:34 No.63830961 The closest I ever came. >staying the night at my older, big tiddy cousin's house >sleeping in her room >figure l'll be sleeping on the floor >lie on the floor >"Anon, what are you doing? You can 38 KB JPG sleep in my bed with me." >0-ok >get in bed with her >literally cannot sleep unless I j------- >wait for her to fall asleep >silently j------- >about to finish >she reaches over me and grabs a tissue from her night stand >"here" >t-thanks >coom >clean up and throw tissue away >embarrassed for the rest of the night We never talked about it, but her and I were always super close and are still super close.
: Anonymous 05/25/21(Tue)07:38:34 No.63830961 The closest I ever came. >staying the night at my older, big tiddy cousin's house >sleeping in her room >figure l'll be sleeping on the floor >lie on the floor >"Anon, what are you doing? You can 38 KB JPG sleep in my bed with me." >0-ok >get in bed with her >literally cannot sleep unless I j------- >wait for her to fall asleep >silently j------- >about to finish >she reaches over me and grabs a tissue from her night stand >"here" >t-thanks >coom >clean up and throw tissue away >embarrassed for the rest of the night We never talked about it, but her and I were always super close and are still super close.

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The mathturbator | /r/Greentext

ITT: Embarrassing high school stories. >be me >been feeling like s--- for the last few months >talk to a doctor about it >he writes me a prescription for an antidepressant >it's called anafranil >after a few weeks, the effects start to kick in >feelsgoodman >be sitting in calculus class one day >s---'s boring as f--- >i yawn >instantly get rock hard >feels like i'm about to c-- >wat >overcome by earthshaking orgasm >shake desk back and forth while yelling "OH F--- YES!" >fall out of chair >legs trembling, huge c------- on my pants >everyone looks at me in shock >ask to be excused >later that night, look up side effects of anafranil on wikipedia >it says that 5% of users experience spontaneous orgasms that are triggered by yawning >n---- whut >go to class next day >everyone trying not to laugh as i walk in and sit down >teacher hands out test >look at first question and get huge, throbbing erection >oh god >dat integral sign >dat dy/dx >so f------ hot >my brain has associated calculus with orgasmic bliss >unzip fly and take test while fapping on stealth mode >someone yawns >yawning is contagious >i yawn >itshappening.gif >my c--- erupts like old faithful >sprays fountain of c-- all over my face >mfw i fapped to my calculus test >mfw everyone in school now calls me the mathturbator
ITT: Embarrassing high school stories. >be me >been feeling like s--- for the last few months >talk to a doctor about it >he writes me a prescription for an antidepressant >it's called anafranil >after a few weeks, the effects start to kick in >feelsgoodman >be sitting in calculus class one day >s---'s boring as f--- >i yawn >instantly get rock hard >feels like i'm about to c-- >wat >overcome by earthshaking orgasm >shake desk back and forth while yelling "OH F--- YES!" >fall out of chair >legs trembling, huge c------- on my pants >everyone looks at me in shock >ask to be excused >later that night, look up side effects of anafranil on wikipedia >it says that 5% of users experience spontaneous orgasms that are triggered by yawning >n---- whut >go to class next day >everyone trying not to laugh as i walk in and sit down >teacher hands out test >look at first question and get huge, throbbing erection >oh god >dat integral sign >dat dy/dx >so f------ hot >my brain has associated calculus with orgasmic bliss >unzip fly and take test while fapping on stealth mode >someone yawns >yawning is contagious >i yawn >itshappening.gif >my c--- erupts like old faithful >sprays fountain of c-- all over my face >mfw i fapped to my calculus test >mfw everyone in school now calls me the mathturbator

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Baked beans. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/30/15(Wed)18:23:05 No.644104344 >>644105497 >be me >high school, betafag >don't have any friends, so I just chill in the library every day >one day new kid transfers to my school, Mexican beanerfag >make friends with him cause he's beta too >hang out with him all year, get really close >make fun of him for being a w------, he doesn't care >find out he's a pyromaniac >lights everything he can on fire >lolwut but don't really care cause he's chill >one night at the end of the year he calls me at night >"im gonna set the warehouse on 4th street on fire, come with me anon" >tell him no, I'm not insane >he says whatever, hangs up >don't think much of it, he's cooky but he's not a madman >next day watching local news >"warehouse on 4th caught aflame last night, charred body found inside" >he isn't at school that day >turns out he did it and accidentally burned to death >mfw Jesús died for arsons
Anonymous 09/30/15(Wed)18:23:05 No.644104344 >>644105497 >be me >high school, betafag >don't have any friends, so I just chill in the library every day >one day new kid transfers to my school, Mexican beanerfag >make friends with him cause he's beta too >hang out with him all year, get really close >make fun of him for being a w------, he doesn't care >find out he's a pyromaniac >lights everything he can on fire >lolwut but don't really care cause he's chill >one night at the end of the year he calls me at night >"im gonna set the warehouse on 4th street on fire, come with me anon" >tell him no, I'm not insane >he says whatever, hangs up >don't think much of it, he's cooky but he's not a madman >next day watching local news >"warehouse on 4th caught aflame last night, charred body found inside" >he isn't at school that day >turns out he did it and accidentally burned to death >mfw Jesús died for arsons

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Anon is a stoike | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:06:41 No.10531852 >walking home at night >pass a group of youths >one of them tells me I dropped my gay card >I look down for it and realise I've been the victim 71 KB JPG of a practical joke >l am unmoved, I tell the youth that his provocations are futile because I am a stoic >he bursts out laughing and says it's pronounced stow-ic, not stoike >break down and cry in the street >10532164 # >>10532217 # 210532453 # >>10532459
: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:06:41 No.10531852 >walking home at night >pass a group of youths >one of them tells me I dropped my gay card >I look down for it and realise I've been the victim 71 KB JPG of a practical joke >l am unmoved, I tell the youth that his provocations are futile because I am a stoic >he bursts out laughing and says it's pronounced stow-ic, not stoike >break down and cry in the street >10532164 # >>10532217 # 210532453 # >>10532459

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Tweaking out | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets cock blocked from a young age | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)07:59:13 No.50581767 >Be me >3 years old >at the playground > girl asks me to play with her >sure, why not? >mom calls me to go home >grin on her face 62 KB JPG >"hey anon who's your girlfriend" >embarrassed for some reason >mom continues to bother me >whenever she sees me with any girl she would pull this s--- >dad does this to0 >this goes on for the next couple years >7th grade >avoid girls completely to not be bothered at home > do this till the end of high school > Now in college > mfw I have no clue how to interact with girls, I just avoid them > mfw I visit home and my mom asks me why I don't have a girlfriend
: Anonymous 01/23/19(Wed)07:59:13 No.50581767 >Be me >3 years old >at the playground > girl asks me to play with her >sure, why not? >mom calls me to go home >grin on her face 62 KB JPG >"hey anon who's your girlfriend" >embarrassed for some reason >mom continues to bother me >whenever she sees me with any girl she would pull this s--- >dad does this to0 >this goes on for the next couple years >7th grade >avoid girls completely to not be bothered at home > do this till the end of high school > Now in college > mfw I have no clue how to interact with girls, I just avoid them > mfw I visit home and my mom asks me why I don't have a girlfriend

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Gabe announces Half Life 3 | /r/Greentext


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I wanna know too | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/31/16(Mon)18:00:10 No.57330160 THESE 2 OFFICERS HAVE KILLED OVER 250 PEOPLE WHILE ON DUTY. >new neighbors just moved right next to me >they tell me to not use WiFi because their son has WiFi WHY HAVEN'T THEY BEEN sickness PUNISHED? 1.07 MB PNG What's the most powerful router with the longest range for under $250?
: Anonymous 10/31/16(Mon)18:00:10 No.57330160 THESE 2 OFFICERS HAVE KILLED OVER 250 PEOPLE WHILE ON DUTY. >new neighbors just moved right next to me >they tell me to not use WiFi because their son has WiFi WHY HAVEN'T THEY BEEN sickness PUNISHED? 1.07 MB PNG What's the most powerful router with the longest range for under $250?

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Anon gets cucked by his sister | /r/Greentext

>meet new girl in uni >start chatting together and studying together >always sit next to each other in lectures >share lecture notes and quiz each other >progresses to hanging out >going to get lunch together and sharing hard drives full of anime with each other >one day out of the blue she just randomly ghosts >stops replying to me >stops coming to classes >finally after like a week she reappears at classes, sits far away from me >go up to her after class and start talking >she's distant and shy and giving me cold answers >suddenly she asks "why didn't you tell me you have a girlfriend, anon?" >"what??!! | don't...." >"don't lie, I saw you with her..." >tells me she saw me at a shopping centre with another girl much prettier than her, who was grabbing my arm and all over me and constantly laughing and touching me >realise that she literally saw me with my older sister when she was visiting town >tell her the truth that it was my sister, and she's just a touchy feely person like that >"no way anon" >she still doesn't believe me >tfw now l'm trying to get her to meet up with my sister as its the only way I can explain the situation is there literally any way to resolve this? I got cucked by my own f------ big sister and I don't think she realises how bad she screwed me over with the one girl I have romantic feelings for. 1h (11/12 14:17) · 866556588 2 Replies Literally the only way to fix it is to repeatedly f--- your sister. Post vids, Anon. ...
>meet new girl in uni >start chatting together and studying together >always sit next to each other in lectures >share lecture notes and quiz each other >progresses to hanging out >going to get lunch together and sharing hard drives full of anime with each other >one day out of the blue she just randomly ghosts >stops replying to me >stops coming to classes >finally after like a week she reappears at classes, sits far away from me >go up to her after class and start talking >she's distant and shy and giving me cold answers >suddenly she asks "why didn't you tell me you have a girlfriend, anon?" >"what??!! | don't...." >"don't lie, I saw you with her..." >tells me she saw me at a shopping centre with another girl much prettier than her, who was grabbing my arm and all over me and constantly laughing and touching me >realise that she literally saw me with my older sister when she was visiting town >tell her the truth that it was my sister, and she's just a touchy feely person like that >"no way anon" >she still doesn't believe me >tfw now l'm trying to get her to meet up with my sister as its the only way I can explain the situation is there literally any way to resolve this? I got cucked by my own f------ big sister and I don't think she realises how bad she screwed me over with the one girl I have romantic feelings for. 1h (11/12 14:17) · 866556588 2 Replies Literally the only way to fix it is to repeatedly f--- your sister. Post vids, Anon. ...

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Anon is a prosecutor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)16:11:50 No.866530062 >Your honor, Mr Rittenhouse has a 3.00 K/D ratio, and has used the 30 kill nuke multiple times. The case solves itself 697 KB JPG
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)16:11:50 No.866530062 >Your honor, Mr Rittenhouse has a 3.00 K/D ratio, and has used the 30 kill nuke multiple times. The case solves itself 697 KB JPG

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Anon’s sister comes out | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:22:54 No.61999933 >be me >chillin in my room >mom comes in, tells me my sister is gay >kinda figured she was before, haircut, had a couple rainbow flags, 14 KB PNG thought she was bi tho >now realised my entire family's bloodline relies on me now >me >mfw just f--- my life man, all i feel is limitless guilt doom and despair I don't even care that she's gay, i support her, but this realisation has just made me feel 1000x worse about it 9 Replies View Thread
| Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)17:22:54 No.61999933 >be me >chillin in my room >mom comes in, tells me my sister is gay >kinda figured she was before, haircut, had a couple rainbow flags, 14 KB PNG thought she was bi tho >now realised my entire family's bloodline relies on me now >me >mfw just f--- my life man, all i feel is limitless guilt doom and despair I don't even care that she's gay, i support her, but this realisation has just made me feel 1000x worse about it 9 Replies View Thread

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Diamond in the rough | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:30:58 No.66119021 >backinthedays >be ill >parents tells me its fine if i dont go to school but I need to actually rest and not play vidya >"promise us anon youll take care of yourself" >"yeah sure" 62 KB JPG >they leave after 12 promises >whip out the m------------ nintendo ds pokemon diamond/pearl special edition >nothing personal wagecucks : Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:45:36 No.66119177 this pic goes hard, feel free to screenshot
: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:30:58 No.66119021 >backinthedays >be ill >parents tells me its fine if i dont go to school but I need to actually rest and not play vidya >"promise us anon youll take care of yourself" >"yeah sure" 62 KB JPG >they leave after 12 promises >whip out the m------------ nintendo ds pokemon diamond/pearl special edition >nothing personal wagecucks : Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:45:36 No.66119177 this pic goes hard, feel free to screenshot

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Double-D standard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)14:29:48 No.64696588 >Guys say they like bigger asses and boobs >This is okay >Girls say they like taller men and bigger d---- >Suddenly this is wrong 423 KB PNG Why?
: Anonymous 07/24/21(Sat)14:29:48 No.64696588 >Guys say they like bigger asses and boobs >This is okay >Girls say they like taller men and bigger d---- >Suddenly this is wrong 423 KB PNG Why?

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Anon gets drunk | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)15:02:24 No.847604122 >be me end of high school >be in weed phase MILLIONAIRE >come to class high af >red af eyes reeking of weed >everyone looks at me and teacher asks if i smoked weed 64 KB JPG >too high to think of what to say >"no teacher i drank my dad's cannabis scent parfume and got drunk from alcohol in it" >teacher looks at me worried >i pull out my parfume from my backpack and drink it to prove myself >end up in a hospital >got suspended for being drunk in class
: Anonymous 02/17/21(Wed)15:02:24 No.847604122 >be me end of high school >be in weed phase MILLIONAIRE >come to class high af >red af eyes reeking of weed >everyone looks at me and teacher asks if i smoked weed 64 KB JPG >too high to think of what to say >"no teacher i drank my dad's cannabis scent parfume and got drunk from alcohol in it" >teacher looks at me worried >i pull out my parfume from my backpack and drink it to prove myself >end up in a hospital >got suspended for being drunk in class

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Anon flies with Muslims | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah

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Alpha move | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)08:31:55 No.66101795 >be me >bitten by mosquito >spend a couple minutes searching for it >finally find the m----------- >it's over 34 KB PNG >clap the little f----- >blood bursts in my hand >consume my blood and the mosquito's remains I get to have mine and your nutrients now, f-----. I won
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)08:31:55 No.66101795 >be me >bitten by mosquito >spend a couple minutes searching for it >finally find the m----------- >it's over 34 KB PNG >clap the little f----- >blood bursts in my hand >consume my blood and the mosquito's remains I get to have mine and your nutrients now, f-----. I won

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Anon has trust issues | /r/Greentext

File: EeknuXaVoAAvz4L.jpg (254 KB, 871x1200) U Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)19:33:43 No.866536004 [Reply] ► >husband buys us house >buys me whatever i want >does everything for me >will spend hours doing whatever i want to do just to see me smile >preg with his baby but at night i still think "does he really love me" why am i f------ like this.
File: EeknuXaVoAAvz4L.jpg (254 KB, 871x1200) U Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)19:33:43 No.866536004 [Reply] ► >husband buys us house >buys me whatever i want >does everything for me >will spend hours doing whatever i want to do just to see me smile >preg with his baby but at night i still think "does he really love me" why am i f------ like this.

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Anon had a thot mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous I had the best dad 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking 285 KB JPG against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon invites Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/17(Sat)12:38:49 No.41357827 >be 15 a decade ago >invite Chad over to play some xbox >he has to take a piss >pisses directly into the water >his masculinity bounces off the walls and echoes throughout the entire house >see sister touching herself in the doorway, biting 9 KB PNG her lip >hear mom moaning downstairs >sister calls me a stealth pissing fuckboi and asks why I always aim for the ceramic >tfw
: Anonymous 11/25/17(Sat)12:38:49 No.41357827 >be 15 a decade ago >invite Chad over to play some xbox >he has to take a piss >pisses directly into the water >his masculinity bounces off the walls and echoes throughout the entire house >see sister touching herself in the doorway, biting 9 KB PNG her lip >hear mom moaning downstairs >sister calls me a stealth pissing fuckboi and asks why I always aim for the ceramic >tfw

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