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Anon switches teams | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 92 viewers last 24 hrs Boost Me 34 KB JPG No.884200653 08/19/22(Fri)22:46:41 >can't get a date to save my life on tinder >this is the first 5 hours of having grinder I'm switching teams
: Anonymous 92 viewers last 24 hrs Boost Me 34 KB JPG No.884200653 08/19/22(Fri)22:46:41 >can't get a date to save my life on tinder >this is the first 5 hours of having grinder I'm switching teams

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anon thinks the world is doomed | /r/Greentext

>out for a drive >see someone texting while driving >enragement.exe >roll down my window >throw my beer at her f--- irresponsible drivers. the world is f------ doomed.
>out for a drive >see someone texting while driving >enragement.exe >roll down my window >throw my beer at her f--- irresponsible drivers. the world is f------ doomed.

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Anon buys an ad | /r/Greentext

1/1 jlu7uyJx (OP). US 26s (8/19 21:45). 391753664 1 Re 0 Img. JPG 31KB (200 × 300) 1 Reply MY >this guy walks into the club and slaps your girls ass What do you do? 1/1 19P17R0f US 7s (8/19 21:45). 391753700 >>391753664 (OP) buy an ad ●●● :
1/1 jlu7uyJx (OP). US 26s (8/19 21:45). 391753664 1 Re 0 Img. JPG 31KB (200 × 300) 1 Reply MY >this guy walks into the club and slaps your girls ass What do you do? 1/1 19P17R0f US 7s (8/19 21:45). 391753700 >>391753664 (OP) buy an ad ●●● :

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Anon sees the beginnings of the Random Chimp Event | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 73 KB GIF 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?
: Anonymous 73 KB GIF 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?

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Anon does some math | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 21 KB JPG 08/19/22(Fri)17:49:56 No.14772351 Mr. Smith has two kids. Assume for this problem that the frequency of births is such that boys are born equally as often as girls, with frequency 1/2 for each. Mr. Smith has at least one boy. What is the probability that Mr. Smith has two boys? BB BG GB GG Anonymous 50%, either he does or he doesn't Anonymous >>14772351 (OP) # 08/19/22(Fri)17:51:30 No.14772358 08/19/22 (Fri)18:00:41 No.14772374 with the information provided we can rule out GG which means there is a 1/3 possibility of each remaining outcome, only one of which is "two boys" however as Mr. Smith lives in a Jew-controlled nation, the probability of his other child being a t----- needs to be factored in before we can assess the solution with any degree of certainty
Anonymous 21 KB JPG 08/19/22(Fri)17:49:56 No.14772351 Mr. Smith has two kids. Assume for this problem that the frequency of births is such that boys are born equally as often as girls, with frequency 1/2 for each. Mr. Smith has at least one boy. What is the probability that Mr. Smith has two boys? BB BG GB GG Anonymous 50%, either he does or he doesn't Anonymous >>14772351 (OP) # 08/19/22(Fri)17:51:30 No.14772358 08/19/22 (Fri)18:00:41 No.14772374 with the information provided we can rule out GG which means there is a 1/3 possibility of each remaining outcome, only one of which is "two boys" however as Mr. Smith lives in a Jew-controlled nation, the probability of his other child being a t----- needs to be factored in before we can assess the solution with any degree of certainty

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Anon has it better than most | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 65 KB JPG up is the best. 08/19/22(Fri)16:16:56 No.69876093 >complaining to friend about being a 33 year old virgin. tell him I feel there's no reason to live anymore. >He tells me about Starving Children in Africa Having friends who try to cheer you
Anonymous 65 KB JPG up is the best. 08/19/22(Fri)16:16:56 No.69876093 >complaining to friend about being a 33 year old virgin. tell him I feel there's no reason to live anymore. >He tells me about Starving Children in Africa Having friends who try to cheer you

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Oh boy! A schizo thread! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I saw a ghost a work. >At work (grocery store) >walking down the aisle when an african american gentlemen stops me and asks how I'm doing >good do you need help with anything? >no I'm just talking to them >points behind me but no one is there >I say oh ok and walk off thinking okay he's just crazy >he follows me into the next aisle asks me how I'm doing Wh-What's going on? 08/19/22 (Fri) 16:35:09 No.69876295 49 KB JPG again but I ignore him this time and walk away >peek into the aisle again to see what he's doing >he isn't there >nobody saw him leave >he's nowhere to be seen in the store >he had a cart full of items as well so there's no way he would leave unnoticed I think my workplace is haunted. There is no other explanation.
Anonymous I saw a ghost a work. >At work (grocery store) >walking down the aisle when an african american gentlemen stops me and asks how I'm doing >good do you need help with anything? >no I'm just talking to them >points behind me but no one is there >I say oh ok and walk off thinking okay he's just crazy >he follows me into the next aisle asks me how I'm doing Wh-What's going on? 08/19/22 (Fri) 16:35:09 No.69876295 49 KB JPG again but I ignore him this time and walk away >peek into the aisle again to see what he's doing >he isn't there >nobody saw him leave >he's nowhere to be seen in the store >he had a cart full of items as well so there's no way he would leave unnoticed I think my workplace is haunted. There is no other explanation.

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Anon is Hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 7cqROVIK ) [+] Why did being legal matter? 84 KB JPG 08/19/22 (Fri)20:17:01 No.391794554 >Be me >Driving with my friend >He points to a 10/10 cutie on the sidewalk >"Hey anon, she looks at least 18 right?" >I consult my diagram and confirm she is at least 18 >"I'd love to kill and eat her." >MFW why did being 18 matter?
: Anonymous (ID: 7cqROVIK ) [+] Why did being legal matter? 84 KB JPG 08/19/22 (Fri)20:17:01 No.391794554 >Be me >Driving with my friend >He points to a 10/10 cutie on the sidewalk >"Hey anon, she looks at least 18 right?" >I consult my diagram and confirm she is at least 18 >"I'd love to kill and eat her." >MFW why did being 18 matter?

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Anon is going the lord's work. | /r/Greentext

File: 6f6.png (498 KB, 640x738) Tinder Anonymous 08/19/22(Fri)13:40:20 No.884155470 ► >be me >in my spare time make fake tinder profiles >use photos of an absolute gigachad i steal from google >make subtle alterations to the photo so the tindy algo doesnt detect im fake as f--- >instantly get dozens of likes Seri >seriously, its kinda depressing how vain these sluts are and how many matches you can get just by looking like a chad >easy 20+ matches a day >thats 20 p------ daily who are desperate for chadcock >only match with the sluttiest thots omy match wi >ignore the ugly girls because they have it bad enough already >talk to these dumb thots, flirt with them, come across as the perfect gentlemen >start talking about meeting up and having a date Catan >give her the impression that im 'the one' >kek dumb f------ thot >anyway >carry on chatting, flirting, talk about meeting up >suddenly talk s--- to her, tell her shes a c--- a block her I'm systematically destroying the chad reputation on behalf of all you incel turbovirgin neckbeards out there, and I also get to f--- with thots who think they can get easy chad c--- just by wearing f------ leggings and posting slutty pictures on instagram I hope you appreciate my work, you f------.
File: 6f6.png (498 KB, 640x738) Tinder Anonymous 08/19/22(Fri)13:40:20 No.884155470 ► >be me >in my spare time make fake tinder profiles >use photos of an absolute gigachad i steal from google >make subtle alterations to the photo so the tindy algo doesnt detect im fake as f--- >instantly get dozens of likes Seri >seriously, its kinda depressing how vain these sluts are and how many matches you can get just by looking like a chad >easy 20+ matches a day >thats 20 p------ daily who are desperate for chadcock >only match with the sluttiest thots omy match wi >ignore the ugly girls because they have it bad enough already >talk to these dumb thots, flirt with them, come across as the perfect gentlemen >start talking about meeting up and having a date Catan >give her the impression that im 'the one' >kek dumb f------ thot >anyway >carry on chatting, flirting, talk about meeting up >suddenly talk s--- to her, tell her shes a c--- a block her I'm systematically destroying the chad reputation on behalf of all you incel turbovirgin neckbeards out there, and I also get to f--- with thots who think they can get easy chad c--- just by wearing f------ leggings and posting slutty pictures on instagram I hope you appreciate my work, you f------.

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Anon needs an n-word pass | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I know that feel, bro. (lol, not really, stupid goy) 19 KB JPG >internet 08/19/22(Fri)17:06:27 No.884175790 1 Reply You have been mentally conditioned for your entire life. >school >work >news >television >movies example: it is socially unacceptable to be racist View Thread : Anonymous 08/19/22 (Fri)17:10:45 No.884176012 I can't say the N word without feeling a sudden sense of fear. Sometimes I instinctively lower my voice or look around first. It's just a word and yet it holds a certain power over me. I'm not even black but it still affects me. How do I undo my programming?
Anonymous I know that feel, bro. (lol, not really, stupid goy) 19 KB JPG >internet 08/19/22(Fri)17:06:27 No.884175790 1 Reply You have been mentally conditioned for your entire life. >school >work >news >television >movies example: it is socially unacceptable to be racist View Thread : Anonymous 08/19/22 (Fri)17:10:45 No.884176012 I can't say the N word without feeling a sudden sense of fear. Sometimes I instinctively lower my voice or look around first. It's just a word and yet it holds a certain power over me. I'm not even black but it still affects me. How do I undo my programming?

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beautiful poem | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/20/16(Wed)23:54:40 No.30699602 weapon_factory_0010.jpg 61 KB JPG >>30699528 # Come with me And you'll be In a world of pure ammunition Take a look And you'll see Into your weapon addiciton We'll begin With a firing pin Traveling to The primer of my ammunition What we'll see Will defy Liberal Politicians
Anonymous 07/20/16(Wed)23:54:40 No.30699602 weapon_factory_0010.jpg 61 KB JPG >>30699528 # Come with me And you'll be In a world of pure ammunition Take a look And you'll see Into your weapon addiciton We'll begin With a firing pin Traveling to The primer of my ammunition What we'll see Will defy Liberal Politicians

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Anon becomes a muslim | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 07/12/22(Tue)08:30:49 >never drank anything in my life >bought a small can of beer yesterday >tastes like s---, drink it anyway >10 minutes later >feel like dying No.69382458 Alcohol is degeneracy, Im converting to Islam
: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 07/12/22(Tue)08:30:49 >never drank anything in my life >bought a small can of beer yesterday >tastes like s---, drink it anyway >10 minutes later >feel like dying No.69382458 Alcohol is degeneracy, Im converting to Islam

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Anon talks about another gansta rapper | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: pOsPFqmT WOCKEYSPANGO SHOT DEAD 119 KB JPG 08/19/22 (Fri) 14:38:58 No.391688411 >A Michigan rapper has been fatally wounded in a drive-by shooting Thursday night, authorities said. >Wockeyspango, 18, was out when the event occurred. Afterwards he was rushed to the hospital where he was pronounced dead. >It is unknown what the motive for the shooting was. F--- did not expect this to happen 17 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous (ID: wfxPWol8 View Thread 08/19/22 (Fri)14:44:34 No.391688737 >>391688411 (OP) # >HE WUZ SPEADIN THE WERD O DA LAWD GEEZUS CHRIST! MY SWEET BABY ANGEL DARMARQUICIOUSOUSNESS CARLTON JR. IN HEBIN NAW OH LAWD!
Anonymous (ID: pOsPFqmT WOCKEYSPANGO SHOT DEAD 119 KB JPG 08/19/22 (Fri) 14:38:58 No.391688411 >A Michigan rapper has been fatally wounded in a drive-by shooting Thursday night, authorities said. >Wockeyspango, 18, was out when the event occurred. Afterwards he was rushed to the hospital where he was pronounced dead. >It is unknown what the motive for the shooting was. F--- did not expect this to happen 17 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous (ID: wfxPWol8 View Thread 08/19/22 (Fri)14:44:34 No.391688737 >>391688411 (OP) # >HE WUZ SPEADIN THE WERD O DA LAWD GEEZUS CHRIST! MY SWEET BABY ANGEL DARMARQUICIOUSOUSNESS CARLTON JR. IN HEBIN NAW OH LAWD!

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Anon defecates modestly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/22(Fri)15:34:44 No.69872782 >be me at work >have been holding my s--- in for a week >start feeling the ol rumble in the jungle down there >it's time.exe >go to men's bathroom >kick the door open >stand with head tall and arms out wide >scan room from left to right, observing every detail of my surroundings 32 KB JPG >exhale >take the most mighty whiff; filling my chest and cheeks with the primal musk of the porcelain jungle >the smell of s--- lingers in the air >"MAAAAAANNNN," I begin to rumble >IT SURE SMELLS LIKE >exhale even deeper >UPDOG IN HEEEEEEEEEERRRREEEEEE >guy the only occupied stall breaks down sobbing >prey identified.exe >loudly barge into stall right next to him >unleash the most mighty, most cacophonous of glorious s---- >his cries turn to screams, but he is soon drowned out by the sound of my incredible s--- tornado >eventually he falls silent >as he falls silent, so too do my meaty bowels >silence fills the air once more >wipe, flush >exit stall >see self in mirror >"no need to wash THESE hands, king" >proudly exit, having left my mark on the world for all to smell 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous put me in the reddit screencap origami 08/19/22(Fri)15:47:57 No.69872865
: Anonymous 08/19/22(Fri)15:34:44 No.69872782 >be me at work >have been holding my s--- in for a week >start feeling the ol rumble in the jungle down there >it's time.exe >go to men's bathroom >kick the door open >stand with head tall and arms out wide >scan room from left to right, observing every detail of my surroundings 32 KB JPG >exhale >take the most mighty whiff; filling my chest and cheeks with the primal musk of the porcelain jungle >the smell of s--- lingers in the air >"MAAAAAANNNN," I begin to rumble >IT SURE SMELLS LIKE >exhale even deeper >UPDOG IN HEEEEEEEEEERRRREEEEEE >guy the only occupied stall breaks down sobbing >prey identified.exe >loudly barge into stall right next to him >unleash the most mighty, most cacophonous of glorious s---- >his cries turn to screams, but he is soon drowned out by the sound of my incredible s--- tornado >eventually he falls silent >as he falls silent, so too do my meaty bowels >silence fills the air once more >wipe, flush >exit stall >see self in mirror >"no need to wash THESE hands, king" >proudly exit, having left my mark on the world for all to smell 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous put me in the reddit screencap origami 08/19/22(Fri)15:47:57 No.69872865

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Test your boyfriend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/19/22(Fri) 13:08:09 No.884155096 >>884155842 >be laying in bed with my girlfriend >both staring at our phones >she puts hers in front of my face >pornhub_video_loading.mp4 >me say what are you doing? >she puts her hand on my penis >rubs it back and forth >i start getting a boner >she says i saw this boyfriend test on tiktok >video starts playing >a penis appears through a gloryhole >little bald guy appears and starts sucking it >me say this is a bit gay >she keeps rubbing my penis >>884155666 >>884157313 >>88 >awkwardly watch it for a little bit waiting for a girl to appear >penis is still hard >she stops rubbing >pauses the video >stares at me in the eye >says i can't believe you are gay, why have you kept this secret from me? >me w-- >try to explain if she rubs my penis then it will always get hard >she refuses to believe me Anonymous 08/19/22(Fri) 13:40:29 No.884155666 >>884155096 my girlfriend tried this with me and made me c-- as well, i said to her now it's your turn to watch lesbian p--- and i'll make you orgasm, she laughed and said you have never been able to give me an orgasm before why do you think it would work now? Anonymous 08/19/22 (Fri) 14:08:09 No.884157313 >>884155096 My ex gf done this "test" on me but she gave me a b------ while scrolling through a loli thread on /b/ and was surprised when I came in her mouth, she was surprised that giving me a b------ made me c--. Broke up with me soon after stating that I need to sort out my "p--- disease" as I was not fit to be in a relationship because eventually the girl I am dating will want to have kids and that would not be safe.
Anonymous 08/19/22(Fri) 13:08:09 No.884155096 >>884155842 >be laying in bed with my girlfriend >both staring at our phones >she puts hers in front of my face >pornhub_video_loading.mp4 >me say what are you doing? >she puts her hand on my penis >rubs it back and forth >i start getting a boner >she says i saw this boyfriend test on tiktok >video starts playing >a penis appears through a gloryhole >little bald guy appears and starts sucking it >me say this is a bit gay >she keeps rubbing my penis >>884155666 >>884157313 >>88 >awkwardly watch it for a little bit waiting for a girl to appear >penis is still hard >she stops rubbing >pauses the video >stares at me in the eye >says i can't believe you are gay, why have you kept this secret from me? >me w-- >try to explain if she rubs my penis then it will always get hard >she refuses to believe me Anonymous 08/19/22(Fri) 13:40:29 No.884155666 >>884155096 my girlfriend tried this with me and made me c-- as well, i said to her now it's your turn to watch lesbian p--- and i'll make you orgasm, she laughed and said you have never been able to give me an orgasm before why do you think it would work now? Anonymous 08/19/22 (Fri) 14:08:09 No.884157313 >>884155096 My ex gf done this "test" on me but she gave me a b------ while scrolling through a loli thread on /b/ and was surprised when I came in her mouth, she was surprised that giving me a b------ made me c--. Broke up with me soon after stating that I need to sort out my "p--- disease" as I was not fit to be in a relationship because eventually the girl I am dating will want to have kids and that would not be safe.

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doggo is an autist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous doggo is on high alert 57 KB JPG 08/19/22(Fri)15:13:04 No.4277334 >be me, a doggo on guard duty >hear footsteps >hear a suspicious rattling noise from the front door >see the door being broken down by pointy rectangular objects >BARK.wav >intruder gets scared away >mission accomplished, as usual this happens every morning. why are humans like this?
: Anonymous doggo is on high alert 57 KB JPG 08/19/22(Fri)15:13:04 No.4277334 >be me, a doggo on guard duty >hear footsteps >hear a suspicious rattling noise from the front door >see the door being broken down by pointy rectangular objects >BARK.wav >intruder gets scared away >mission accomplished, as usual this happens every morning. why are humans like this?

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Anon is not gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous THE HOLY LAND 84 KB JPG 07/05/21 (Mon)17:12:44 No.64457120 >i regularly stimulate a man's penis with my hand until he orgasms >b-but I'm not gay because that man is me! Coomer copes are so desperate. M----------- is gay.
Anonymous THE HOLY LAND 84 KB JPG 07/05/21 (Mon)17:12:44 No.64457120 >i regularly stimulate a man's penis with my hand until he orgasms >b-but I'm not gay because that man is me! Coomer copes are so desperate. M----------- is gay.

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 248 KB PNG 4 Replies / 2 Images : Anonymous 6 KB JPG 08/19/22 (Fri) 14:58:51 No.884169487 Millennials don't know who this is. View Thread 08/19/22(Fri)15:11:11 No.884170030 He never got that bubblegum p----, she ended up being a d---.
Anonymous 248 KB PNG 4 Replies / 2 Images : Anonymous 6 KB JPG 08/19/22 (Fri) 14:58:51 No.884169487 Millennials don't know who this is. View Thread 08/19/22(Fri)15:11:11 No.884170030 He never got that bubblegum p----, she ended up being a d---.

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anon hates reddit | /r/Greentext

699.png 128 KB PNG >go onto Reddit >Open comment section on somewhat political post >"THIS IS WHY EVERYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH ME SHOULD DIE" >600 upvotes
699.png 128 KB PNG >go onto Reddit >Open comment section on somewhat political post >"THIS IS WHY EVERYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH ME SHOULD DIE" >600 upvotes

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never making the same mistake again | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)21:28:01 No.9722834>>9722880 File: asscrved.jpg (252 KB, 644x660) >feel bad for a lonely guy in my class >invite him to a cosplay event >he shows up dressed as Fred Flintstone in blackface >he keeps screaming "I yabba dabba dindu nuffin!" This was a f------ mistake.
Anonymous 12/15/17(Fri)21:28:01 No.9722834>>9722880 File: asscrved.jpg (252 KB, 644x660) >feel bad for a lonely guy in my class >invite him to a cosplay event >he shows up dressed as Fred Flintstone in blackface >he keeps screaming "I yabba dabba dindu nuffin!" This was a f------ mistake.

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