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Anon caught his brother red handed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)02:45:27 No.68178271 >be me college student >all i do is study, eat, beat my meat, sleep repeat >decide to get a new hobby >start to learn how to draw >after a few weeks i start to get 501 KB JPG better >keep secret from everyone >ffw few months >doing art commisions & managed to get a nice amount of $ >go to take a s--- >accidentaly leave my latop on >came back seeing my little brother looking at my male x male art folder >we lock eyes >not only that but i could see his boner popping through his pj >told him not to tell anybody about it >he leaves w/o saying anything What should I do? We also share the same bed
: Anonymous 04/12/22(Tue)02:45:27 No.68178271 >be me college student >all i do is study, eat, beat my meat, sleep repeat >decide to get a new hobby >start to learn how to draw >after a few weeks i start to get 501 KB JPG better >keep secret from everyone >ffw few months >doing art commisions & managed to get a nice amount of $ >go to take a s--- >accidentaly leave my latop on >came back seeing my little brother looking at my male x male art folder >we lock eyes >not only that but i could see his boner popping through his pj >told him not to tell anybody about it >he leaves w/o saying anything What should I do? We also share the same bed

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Anon was playing vidya | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)20:13:52 No.876123891 >be me some time ago >playing vidya >Suddenly get a persistent and inexplicable desire to find a loving wife and have children who look up 63 KB JPG to me A few days ago I wasn't even thinking about any of this. What the f--- is happening to me?
: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)20:13:52 No.876123891 >be me some time ago >playing vidya >Suddenly get a persistent and inexplicable desire to find a loving wife and have children who look up 63 KB JPG to me A few days ago I wasn't even thinking about any of this. What the f--- is happening to me?

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Anon’s ultimate move | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)22:54:04 No.129908869 >summon blue eyes abyss dragon >then have sex with it >end my turn
Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)22:54:04 No.129908869 >summon blue eyes abyss dragon >then have sex with it >end my turn

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Anon loses | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous = 04/11/22(Mon)00:52:08 No.68165617 >Be me, 26, khv >Best friend is a l----- >Playing vidya at her place couple days ago >Moment of stupidity/bravery >Offer a bet >If I win, she gives me a b------, if 67 KB JPG she wins, I'll give her an IOU >She actually agrees >Try super hard, wins >She doesn't back out >Literally googles how to give a bj >Whatever, itshappening >Feels good, but not that good >C-- in like two minutes >She makes a face >Takes a drink, returns to vidya with no further comment >Oh >Feel incredibly empty >Play a few more rounds then make excuse to leave F---. What the hell did I expect? : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)00:57:22 No.68165691 : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:08:12 No.68165809 she probably thought it would be more comedic than it actually was, but when you sat there autistically getting your d--- sucked without playing up the irony it became weird and unfunny. I think the relationship is over.
: Anonymous = 04/11/22(Mon)00:52:08 No.68165617 >Be me, 26, khv >Best friend is a l----- >Playing vidya at her place couple days ago >Moment of stupidity/bravery >Offer a bet >If I win, she gives me a b------, if 67 KB JPG she wins, I'll give her an IOU >She actually agrees >Try super hard, wins >She doesn't back out >Literally googles how to give a bj >Whatever, itshappening >Feels good, but not that good >C-- in like two minutes >She makes a face >Takes a drink, returns to vidya with no further comment >Oh >Feel incredibly empty >Play a few more rounds then make excuse to leave F---. What the hell did I expect? : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)00:57:22 No.68165691 : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:08:12 No.68165809 she probably thought it would be more comedic than it actually was, but when you sat there autistically getting your d--- sucked without playing up the irony it became weird and unfunny. I think the relationship is over.

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Anon is French | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: dq5SZ7Qc Help 04/11/22(Mon)19:43:28 No.372385176 4894924C-4FCD-4410-9199-C5D7A5CEDB14.jpg 49 KB JPG >be me >French >It's election time and we have two choices >Option A: Marine Le Pen, a far-right nationalistic a------ >Option B: Macron who is Macron Soon we will have to choose one of them to be in charge of all of France for the next 5 years
: Anonymous (ID: dq5SZ7Qc Help 04/11/22(Mon)19:43:28 No.372385176 4894924C-4FCD-4410-9199-C5D7A5CEDB14.jpg 49 KB JPG >be me >French >It's election time and we have two choices >Option A: Marine Le Pen, a far-right nationalistic a------ >Option B: Macron who is Macron Soon we will have to choose one of them to be in charge of all of France for the next 5 years

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Anon has a lot of chromosomes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)23:13:04 No.53625789 why is my weight in Ibs higher than kg? A lot of the strong guys at my gym have high kgs. Any way to raise my kg and lower my Ib? 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)23:14:00 No.53625803 -ID te.e>>53625789 (OP) # R(R e, 50 KB JPG
: Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)23:13:04 No.53625789 why is my weight in Ibs higher than kg? A lot of the strong guys at my gym have high kgs. Any way to raise my kg and lower my Ib? 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)23:14:00 No.53625803 -ID te.e>>53625789 (OP) # R(R e, 50 KB JPG

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Anon is... Or is he | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 791795067 25 min. ago >be me >or not be me pic related 193.2 kB PNG
Anonymous | 791795067 25 min. ago >be me >or not be me pic related 193.2 kB PNG

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Anon goes to Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous rlgreentext is cancer 04/11/22(Mon)22:21:56 No.68175360 as someone who lurks on reddit subs ive noticed soemthings >be me >go on r/greentext >see post about f----- complaining 136 KB JPG about his 41% transformer brother who became a "woman" >go to comments expecting normal funny trany h8 >see comments making fun of t----- get downvoted >see comments from f----- reddit addicts with pink haired avatars correcting people who rightfully call anon's brother a guy >upvoted in the hundreds vs r/4chan >based >hateful >way more funny comments >less reddit f------ >less f*males >reddit mods heavily monitor it i f------ hate reddit i only use it for p--- anymore its just a liberal echochamber pic unrelated
: Anonymous rlgreentext is cancer 04/11/22(Mon)22:21:56 No.68175360 as someone who lurks on reddit subs ive noticed soemthings >be me >go on r/greentext >see post about f----- complaining 136 KB JPG about his 41% transformer brother who became a "woman" >go to comments expecting normal funny trany h8 >see comments making fun of t----- get downvoted >see comments from f----- reddit addicts with pink haired avatars correcting people who rightfully call anon's brother a guy >upvoted in the hundreds vs r/4chan >based >hateful >way more funny comments >less reddit f------ >less f*males >reddit mods heavily monitor it i f------ hate reddit i only use it for p--- anymore its just a liberal echochamber pic unrelated

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anon gives advice | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous How to tell if a girl likes yo(...) 11/04/21(Thu)12:01:13 No.66022787 Rule of thumb: if you can't tell that she likes you, she probably doesn't. Prerequisites - These signs alone don't necessarily mean that she likes you, but if she's not doing these, it's highly unlikely that she does. 100 KB JPG >eye contact, smiling >making an effort to carry the conversation >remembering and paying attention to the things you say >complimenting you when the opportunity arises >comforting you if things are going wrong Signs of attraction These are some good signs that she does like you but every girl is different. Weigh your odds. The more signs the merrier. >texting you constantly and on her own initiative >frequent use of emojis >drawn-out texting; i.e. "Hii!", ":)))" >double texting >making excuses to be around you; i.e. "I'm just getting a drink of water if you wanna come with me!", "Maybe I can show you around my college sometime!", etc. >making excuses to touch you; i.e. touching you on the shoulder, holding your hand, giving you a hug goodbye, etc. >sitting with her legs crossed towards you >sitting with her knees up and pointed towards you >positioning herself close to you >saying emotionally intimate things; i.e. "I trust you.", "I can't wait to see you!", etc. There are more signs but remember that girls aren't attracted to the majority of guys and they're horrible at hiding when they are attracted to one. No, she's not just shy, and no, she's not just waiting for you to make the first move. She just doesn't like you.
| Anonymous How to tell if a girl likes yo(...) 11/04/21(Thu)12:01:13 No.66022787 Rule of thumb: if you can't tell that she likes you, she probably doesn't. Prerequisites - These signs alone don't necessarily mean that she likes you, but if she's not doing these, it's highly unlikely that she does. 100 KB JPG >eye contact, smiling >making an effort to carry the conversation >remembering and paying attention to the things you say >complimenting you when the opportunity arises >comforting you if things are going wrong Signs of attraction These are some good signs that she does like you but every girl is different. Weigh your odds. The more signs the merrier. >texting you constantly and on her own initiative >frequent use of emojis >drawn-out texting; i.e. "Hii!", ":)))" >double texting >making excuses to be around you; i.e. "I'm just getting a drink of water if you wanna come with me!", "Maybe I can show you around my college sometime!", etc. >making excuses to touch you; i.e. touching you on the shoulder, holding your hand, giving you a hug goodbye, etc. >sitting with her legs crossed towards you >sitting with her knees up and pointed towards you >positioning herself close to you >saying emotionally intimate things; i.e. "I trust you.", "I can't wait to see you!", etc. There are more signs but remember that girls aren't attracted to the majority of guys and they're horrible at hiding when they are attracted to one. No, she's not just shy, and no, she's not just waiting for you to make the first move. She just doesn't like you.

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Anon’s dad is a bro | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)23:15:54 No.129909308 random memory I remembered today >2004 >be 7 >mom is strict so I must go to sleep at 9pm even during summer holiday >her aunt passes away, she goes to the funeral and is only back by morning >want to see Shrek 2 in cinema >check cinema schedule >go to 6pm one with dad >accidentally checked yesterday's schedule, film started at 5pm with the next one starting at 8:30pm >upset.png >dad says he buys two tickets for the 8:30pm Shrek 2 >surprised.jpg >he says mom doesn't need to know, it'll be our secret >movie ended at 10:30pm >when we went home dad let me play Tony Hawk's Underground 'til 1 am
Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)23:15:54 No.129909308 random memory I remembered today >2004 >be 7 >mom is strict so I must go to sleep at 9pm even during summer holiday >her aunt passes away, she goes to the funeral and is only back by morning >want to see Shrek 2 in cinema >check cinema schedule >go to 6pm one with dad >accidentally checked yesterday's schedule, film started at 5pm with the next one starting at 8:30pm >upset.png >dad says he buys two tickets for the 8:30pm Shrek 2 >surprised.jpg >he says mom doesn't need to know, it'll be our secret >movie ended at 10:30pm >when we went home dad let me play Tony Hawk's Underground 'til 1 am

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Anon is upto something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)08:45:01 No.4129154 >rat poison >it actually kills pretty much any animal that eats it 544 KB GIF
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)08:45:01 No.4129154 >rat poison >it actually kills pretty much any animal that eats it 544 KB GIF

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Anon takes the trash out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)09:48:27 No.876079573 >have to take out trash and walk the dogs >normally take the dogs out the back door >trash is out the front door >take the dogs out the front door >take the trash out >walk dogs >go around the house to the back door >it is locked 478 KВ PNG >freak out >think someone slipped in while I was rolling the trash can and locked me out >panic for five solid minutes before I realize I just went out the other door
: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)09:48:27 No.876079573 >have to take out trash and walk the dogs >normally take the dogs out the back door >trash is out the front door >take the dogs out the front door >take the trash out >walk dogs >go around the house to the back door >it is locked 478 KВ PNG >freak out >think someone slipped in while I was rolling the trash can and locked me out >panic for five solid minutes before I realize I just went out the other door

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4chan thinks anon is sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:26:22 No.876074733 >Be me >Find an absolute 11/10 woman >Never seen a woman as good looking as her >Find out she has OF >Anti-OF, but make an account just for her and sub to her 15 KB PNG >Tip her good amounts and talk to her >Slowly start talking to her on a regular basis >We become comfortable and she shares details of herself, including the college she goes to. ffw couple months >Lose job >Can't maintain my subscription anymore >She tells me she won't do it for free >I have all her content and information about her >Tell her if she doesn't l'll send her content to her school and family >Panic.jpeg >Doesn't respond, deletes OF, and every social media she has >mfw i got a thot off of OF She was probably making good money too. : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:27:49 No.876074802 >>876074733 (OP)_# Get a life, loser. >>876076856 # : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:30:46 No.876074923 >>876074733 (OP) # Your life is sadder than that of an OnlyFans thot, I want you to think about that before you go to sleep tonight : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:30:50 No.876074927 >>876074733 (OP) # Jesus this is sad : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:33:33 No.876075056 this looks like something reddit would write but they were too scared so they posted it here and screencapped to post on reddit : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:36:29 No.876075188 >>876074733 (OP) # Include me in the screenshot f----- : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:41:22 No.876075411 >>876074733 (OP) # >Find an absolute 11/10 woman >Find You are unspeakably creepy >>876075611 # : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:44:34 No.876075525 >Find an absolute 11/10 woman >r--- her face because she'll like it >fart on /b/ poster #876075411 : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:45:14 No.876075547 You should still tell the family Imao >>876075590 # : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:46:21 No.876075590 >>876075547 # This.
: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:26:22 No.876074733 >Be me >Find an absolute 11/10 woman >Never seen a woman as good looking as her >Find out she has OF >Anti-OF, but make an account just for her and sub to her 15 KB PNG >Tip her good amounts and talk to her >Slowly start talking to her on a regular basis >We become comfortable and she shares details of herself, including the college she goes to. ffw couple months >Lose job >Can't maintain my subscription anymore >She tells me she won't do it for free >I have all her content and information about her >Tell her if she doesn't l'll send her content to her school and family >Panic.jpeg >Doesn't respond, deletes OF, and every social media she has >mfw i got a thot off of OF She was probably making good money too. : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:27:49 No.876074802 >>876074733 (OP)_# Get a life, loser. >>876076856 # : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:30:46 No.876074923 >>876074733 (OP) # Your life is sadder than that of an OnlyFans thot, I want you to think about that before you go to sleep tonight : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:30:50 No.876074927 >>876074733 (OP) # Jesus this is sad : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:33:33 No.876075056 this looks like something reddit would write but they were too scared so they posted it here and screencapped to post on reddit : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:36:29 No.876075188 >>876074733 (OP) # Include me in the screenshot f----- : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:41:22 No.876075411 >>876074733 (OP) # >Find an absolute 11/10 woman >Find You are unspeakably creepy >>876075611 # : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:44:34 No.876075525 >Find an absolute 11/10 woman >r--- her face because she'll like it >fart on /b/ poster #876075411 : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:45:14 No.876075547 You should still tell the family Imao >>876075590 # : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:46:21 No.876075590 >>876075547 # This.

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Anon likes girls in heels | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:22:50 No.68171795 >be me >not tall but not short >average looking >get matches on dating apps here and there >they're always a few inches shorter than me 349 KB JPG >no foot fetish, but think it's sexy when girls wear heels >when I'm chatting with a match, I usually mention heels being sexy >gets the conversation from friendly to playful banter >almost all the girls I get a date with show up in heels >makes them the same height as me >every time I message a girl after a date she says she "didn't feel a connection" Am I cucking myself by trying to get a girl to wear heels on our date?
: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:22:50 No.68171795 >be me >not tall but not short >average looking >get matches on dating apps here and there >they're always a few inches shorter than me 349 KB JPG >no foot fetish, but think it's sexy when girls wear heels >when I'm chatting with a match, I usually mention heels being sexy >gets the conversation from friendly to playful banter >almost all the girls I get a date with show up in heels >makes them the same height as me >every time I message a girl after a date she says she "didn't feel a connection" Am I cucking myself by trying to get a girl to wear heels on our date?

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Anon discovered fire | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:38:31 No.66294144 What if I pedal the stationary bike with my hands? 21 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:39:12 No.66294152 >>66294144 (OP) # you don't burn kcal, you gain some : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)13:05:54 No.66294839 >>66294144 (OP) # Why would you do this? >>66294848 # : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)13:06:59 No.66294848 >>66294839 # The man here is discovering fire and you ask him why
: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:38:31 No.66294144 What if I pedal the stationary bike with my hands? 21 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:39:12 No.66294152 >>66294144 (OP) # you don't burn kcal, you gain some : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)13:05:54 No.66294839 >>66294144 (OP) # Why would you do this? >>66294848 # : Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)13:06:59 No.66294848 >>66294839 # The man here is discovering fire and you ask him why

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OP's son asks some important questions. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/09/16(Mon)10:55:06 No.683441433 >>683436679 # "dad, why do you have a frog on a unicycle tattooed on your leg?" "well son, it was a popular meme for a few months in 2016" "what's a meme?" "well, it was the internet version of a circle-jerk, son" "f------ kill yourself, dad.."
: Anonymous 05/09/16(Mon)10:55:06 No.683441433 >>683436679 # "dad, why do you have a frog on a unicycle tattooed on your leg?" "well son, it was a popular meme for a few months in 2016" "what's a meme?" "well, it was the internet version of a circle-jerk, son" "f------ kill yourself, dad.."

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Anon made a prediction (stolen from an old post) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: /PKXCIT2 02/26/22(Sat)10:20:50 No.363537891 >apparently Ukranians are killing Russians left and right Avengers style >taking out thousands tanks a day >Ghost and Iron Man of Kiev Man, retards are going to be really shocked when in a week Ukraine ends 2 KB PNG up as another oblast in Russia
Anonymous (ID: /PKXCIT2 02/26/22(Sat)10:20:50 No.363537891 >apparently Ukranians are killing Russians left and right Avengers style >taking out thousands tanks a day >Ghost and Iron Man of Kiev Man, retards are going to be really shocked when in a week Ukraine ends 2 KB PNG up as another oblast in Russia

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Anon doesn't know her usual | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)02:27:44 No.17665250 2len Fischman What was the worst night you THIS IS LITERALLY THE F----- SIGN AT THE PIE SHOP ever had as a chef in the Kitchen? 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)02:42:16 No.17665290 : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)02:49:40 No.17665327 Not quite kitchen work but: >Just after college >Work at coffee shop so I can get money handling experience for clerical work for a basic bitch government job >High power lawyer boss babe 40 KB JPG walks in >Asks me for "the usual" >IDK what that is >She's offended that IDK what that is >She never comes back >Co-workers are p----- at me because she tipped really well >MFW she was like my 3rd customer on my first day of my first food service job >>17665350 # >>17665375 # >>17665454 # >>17665550 # >>17666646 # >>17668447 # >>17674500 # >>17675108 #
: Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)02:27:44 No.17665250 2len Fischman What was the worst night you THIS IS LITERALLY THE F----- SIGN AT THE PIE SHOP ever had as a chef in the Kitchen? 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)02:42:16 No.17665290 : Anonymous 04/08/22(Fri)02:49:40 No.17665327 Not quite kitchen work but: >Just after college >Work at coffee shop so I can get money handling experience for clerical work for a basic bitch government job >High power lawyer boss babe 40 KB JPG walks in >Asks me for "the usual" >IDK what that is >She's offended that IDK what that is >She never comes back >Co-workers are p----- at me because she tipped really well >MFW she was like my 3rd customer on my first day of my first food service job >>17665350 # >>17665375 # >>17665454 # >>17665550 # >>17666646 # >>17668447 # >>17674500 # >>17675108 #

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: SlmnRW0h 10/02/21(Sat)22:47:33 No.341853162 Tilt-turn-windows-arrows-700x311.jpg| 25 KB JPG This puzzles, confuses, and enrages the American : Anonymous (ID: JDRDIna6 10/02/21(Sat)22:48:29 No.341853252 >>341853162(OP)_# What the f--- >>341853405 # >>341854838 # >>341856774 #
: Anonymous (ID: SlmnRW0h 10/02/21(Sat)22:47:33 No.341853162 Tilt-turn-windows-arrows-700x311.jpg| 25 KB JPG This puzzles, confuses, and enrages the American : Anonymous (ID: JDRDIna6 10/02/21(Sat)22:48:29 No.341853252 >>341853162(OP)_# What the f--- >>341853405 # >>341854838 # >>341856774 #

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I don't even know what to title this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:36:55 No.876046578 > be me > Tell sister I might be interested in starting to date > She says she'll do the dating app stuff for me (swiping+ introductions + descriptions etc.) > I'm fine with that, less of a hit to 242 KB JPG my mental health Week passed > Sister comes to me > "Boys have it rough, when I go on dating sites I get tons of swipes, but you only got a few and no one sends a message first, and most don't reply, I don't get it, you're not ugly and we even lied a bit on your profile to make you sound cooler" Reminded me of how much I hate women (except for my sister's of course, I can bare them), wondering if I should just go gay, if I see a male I feel indifferent, when I see a female I feel disgust and/or hatred. When I see a mentally ill male (trans) that actually looks good, I see best of both worlds, female body with (slightly ill) male mind Note: the only people that was actually interested in dating me (replied) were fat black girls, but I'm fat racist, so I wasn't interested unless they work out > Inb4 f--- your sisters No, they're still the gender I despise so much
: Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)01:36:55 No.876046578 > be me > Tell sister I might be interested in starting to date > She says she'll do the dating app stuff for me (swiping+ introductions + descriptions etc.) > I'm fine with that, less of a hit to 242 KB JPG my mental health Week passed > Sister comes to me > "Boys have it rough, when I go on dating sites I get tons of swipes, but you only got a few and no one sends a message first, and most don't reply, I don't get it, you're not ugly and we even lied a bit on your profile to make you sound cooler" Reminded me of how much I hate women (except for my sister's of course, I can bare them), wondering if I should just go gay, if I see a male I feel indifferent, when I see a female I feel disgust and/or hatred. When I see a mentally ill male (trans) that actually looks good, I see best of both worlds, female body with (slightly ill) male mind Note: the only people that was actually interested in dating me (replied) were fat black girls, but I'm fat racist, so I wasn't interested unless they work out > Inb4 f--- your sisters No, they're still the gender I despise so much

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