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Once bitten, twice shy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)03:58:58 No.64954941 >another wasp crawls into my room >remember what happened last time >pick it up with a cloth instead of my bare hands >release it outside safely 1.27 MB PNG You're never too old to learn new skills.
: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)03:58:58 No.64954941 >another wasp crawls into my room >remember what happened last time >pick it up with a cloth instead of my bare hands >release it outside safely 1.27 MB PNG You're never too old to learn new skills.

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Zone of control | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)20:05:16 No.65039679 >been freindzoned by my oneitis for 10 years >she's recently married >drunk texted her and asked to meet up and hangout >seeing her this weekend 550 KB PNG I'm not gonna make it, am | 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/18/21 (Wed)20:06:57 No.65039699 >>65039679 (OP) # just tell her you were drunk and enjoy your day platonically, you dumb f------ normie : Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)20:08:12 No.65039713 >>65039679 (OP) # Dude you already put up with 10 years of friendzoning. What's one more day?
: Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)20:05:16 No.65039679 >been freindzoned by my oneitis for 10 years >she's recently married >drunk texted her and asked to meet up and hangout >seeing her this weekend 550 KB PNG I'm not gonna make it, am | 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/18/21 (Wed)20:06:57 No.65039699 >>65039679 (OP) # just tell her you were drunk and enjoy your day platonically, you dumb f------ normie : Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)20:08:12 No.65039713 >>65039679 (OP) # Dude you already put up with 10 years of friendzoning. What's one more day?

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Anon has a hot mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)23:19:43 No.845445166 >me >middle school >hard time making friends >walking out of school one day next to a classmate >my mom waves me down >"H-------- is that your mom dude? 9 KB PNG She's hot" >That's it, l'll be the kid with the hot mom! >Another day, walking out with different classmate >This is my chance, I'm the kid with the hot mom! >"Oh there's my mom, gotta go. She's hot huh? >He just stares back and says "what the f--- dude?" >mfw View Thread
: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)23:19:43 No.845445166 >me >middle school >hard time making friends >walking out of school one day next to a classmate >my mom waves me down >"H-------- is that your mom dude? 9 KB PNG She's hot" >That's it, l'll be the kid with the hot mom! >Another day, walking out with different classmate >This is my chance, I'm the kid with the hot mom! >"Oh there's my mom, gotta go. She's hot huh? >He just stares back and says "what the f--- dude?" >mfw View Thread

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Anon struggles understanding /pol/' values | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: OKH50094 ) 08/19/21(Thu)18:04:13 No.335100089 /pol/: >this is a christian board >Jesus is King also /pol/: >gas the k---- >hang the n------ >f------ get the cross >f--- the poor 18 KB PNG >race war now ???
: Anonymous (ID: OKH50094 ) 08/19/21(Thu)18:04:13 No.335100089 /pol/: >this is a christian board >Jesus is King also /pol/: >gas the k---- >hang the n------ >f------ get the cross >f--- the poor 18 KB PNG >race war now ???

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: YuuVPqhc 08/19/21(Thu)09:34:09 No.335090062 >be me, kissless virgin >used to be a militant atheist when I was a kid, now just agnostic >still lean towards there being no god, but I now at least see the value of religion, and prefer the company of religious people 135 KB JPG >decide to go to local church and meet a nice traditional white girl like /pol/ suggests >it actually works, literally first day meet the nicest girl I've ever met >get to know her better, she's deeply religious (even teaches Sunday school), still a virgin (wants to wait until marriage), doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, hates modern media, wants to be a stay at home mom >eventually I work up the nerve to ask her out on a date >she says yes, it goes well >we start dating >can't do anything more than kiss, hold hands, and cuddle, which is fine with me. I've waited 28 years for sex, what's a few more? >things get more serious between us, start talking about marriage >last night I tell her I've been looking at rings >we start talking about the wedding, and she says her grandpa wants her to get a ketubah >"a what?" i say >"it's a jewish thing where you..." i stop her there I walked out of the room at that point and went straight home. I have not talked to her since. She's been calling and texting me nonstop. I've put all this time into courting a girl, only to find out that she's a f------ k---. 56 Replies / 7 Images View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: YuuVPqhc 08/19/21(Thu)09:34:09 No.335090062 >be me, kissless virgin >used to be a militant atheist when I was a kid, now just agnostic >still lean towards there being no god, but I now at least see the value of religion, and prefer the company of religious people 135 KB JPG >decide to go to local church and meet a nice traditional white girl like /pol/ suggests >it actually works, literally first day meet the nicest girl I've ever met >get to know her better, she's deeply religious (even teaches Sunday school), still a virgin (wants to wait until marriage), doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, hates modern media, wants to be a stay at home mom >eventually I work up the nerve to ask her out on a date >she says yes, it goes well >we start dating >can't do anything more than kiss, hold hands, and cuddle, which is fine with me. I've waited 28 years for sex, what's a few more? >things get more serious between us, start talking about marriage >last night I tell her I've been looking at rings >we start talking about the wedding, and she says her grandpa wants her to get a ketubah >"a what?" i say >"it's a jewish thing where you..." i stop her there I walked out of the room at that point and went straight home. I have not talked to her since. She's been calling and texting me nonstop. I've put all this time into courting a girl, only to find out that she's a f------ k---. 56 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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Anon finds love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: YuuVPqhc 08/19/21(Thu)09:34:09 No.335090062 >be me, kissless virgin >used to be a militant atheist when I was a kid, now just agnostic >still lean towards there being no god, but I now at least see the value of religion, and prefer the company of religious people 135 KB JPG >decide to go to local church and meet a nice traditional white girl like /pol/ suggests >it actually works, literally first day meet the nicest girl I've ever met >get to know her better, she's deeply religious (even teaches Sunday school), still a virgin (wants to wait until marriage), doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, hates modern media, wants to be a stay at home mom >eventually I work up the nerve to ask her out on a date >she says yes, it goes well >we start dating >can't do anything more than kiss, hold hands, and cuddle, which is fine with me. I've waited 28 years for sex, what's a few more? >things get more serious between us, start talking about marriage >last night I tell her I've been looking at rings >we start talking about the wedding, and she says her grandpa wants her to get a ketubah >"a what?" i say >"it's a jewish thing where you..." i stop her there I walked out of the room at that point and went straight home. I have not talked to her since. She's been calling and texting me nonstop. I've put all this time into courting a girl, only to find out that she's a f------ k---. 56 Replies / 7 Images View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: YuuVPqhc 08/19/21(Thu)09:34:09 No.335090062 >be me, kissless virgin >used to be a militant atheist when I was a kid, now just agnostic >still lean towards there being no god, but I now at least see the value of religion, and prefer the company of religious people 135 KB JPG >decide to go to local church and meet a nice traditional white girl like /pol/ suggests >it actually works, literally first day meet the nicest girl I've ever met >get to know her better, she's deeply religious (even teaches Sunday school), still a virgin (wants to wait until marriage), doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, hates modern media, wants to be a stay at home mom >eventually I work up the nerve to ask her out on a date >she says yes, it goes well >we start dating >can't do anything more than kiss, hold hands, and cuddle, which is fine with me. I've waited 28 years for sex, what's a few more? >things get more serious between us, start talking about marriage >last night I tell her I've been looking at rings >we start talking about the wedding, and she says her grandpa wants her to get a ketubah >"a what?" i say >"it's a jewish thing where you..." i stop her there I walked out of the room at that point and went straight home. I have not talked to her since. She's been calling and texting me nonstop. I've put all this time into courting a girl, only to find out that she's a f------ k---. 56 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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Anon loses his friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/18(Thu)10:22:07 No.769499299 Look, if you had one shot, or one Hey /b/, when did you realize you're a retard? opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted, >be me one moment Would you apture it r just >sophomore in high school let it slip? >some guy during p.e. had a heart attack during some running s--- >guy died 55 KB JPG >the next day they tell everyone if you knew him or feel like you need time to grieve you can spend as long as needed in the cafeteria. >i didn't know him but i pretended i did to get out of class. >see my friends in the cafeteria >figure they did the same thing >"whats up guys? Getting out of class too?" >they stare at me but say nothing >"good thing he died, i hate math" >said it louder than i meant >everyone heard me >"anon... w--?" >everyone staring at me with the angriest faces I've seen I panicked and ran back to class, only to break down and get sent back to the cafeteria. All my friends stopped talking to me from then on.
: Anonymous 05/24/18(Thu)10:22:07 No.769499299 Look, if you had one shot, or one Hey /b/, when did you realize you're a retard? opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted, >be me one moment Would you apture it r just >sophomore in high school let it slip? >some guy during p.e. had a heart attack during some running s--- >guy died 55 KB JPG >the next day they tell everyone if you knew him or feel like you need time to grieve you can spend as long as needed in the cafeteria. >i didn't know him but i pretended i did to get out of class. >see my friends in the cafeteria >figure they did the same thing >"whats up guys? Getting out of class too?" >they stare at me but say nothing >"good thing he died, i hate math" >said it louder than i meant >everyone heard me >"anon... w--?" >everyone staring at me with the angriest faces I've seen I panicked and ran back to class, only to break down and get sent back to the cafeteria. All my friends stopped talking to me from then on.

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Anon loses his friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/24/18(Thu)10:22:07 No.769499299 Look, if you had one shot, or one Hey /b/, when did you realize you're a retard? opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted, >be me one moment Would you apture it r just >sophomore in high school let it slip? >some guy during p.e. had a heart attack during some running s--- >guy died 55 KB JPG >the next day they tell everyone if you knew him or feel like you need time to grieve you can spend as long as needed in the cafeteria. >i didn't know him but i pretended i did to get out of class. >see my friends in the cafeteria >figure they did the same thing >"whats up guys? Getting out of class too?" >they stare at me but say nothing >"good thing he died, i hate math" >said it louder than i meant >everyone heard me >"anon... w--?" >everyone staring at me with the angriest faces I've seen I panicked and ran back to class, only to break down and get sent back to the cafeteria. All my friends stopped talking to me from then on.
: Anonymous 05/24/18(Thu)10:22:07 No.769499299 Look, if you had one shot, or one Hey /b/, when did you realize you're a retard? opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted, >be me one moment Would you apture it r just >sophomore in high school let it slip? >some guy during p.e. had a heart attack during some running s--- >guy died 55 KB JPG >the next day they tell everyone if you knew him or feel like you need time to grieve you can spend as long as needed in the cafeteria. >i didn't know him but i pretended i did to get out of class. >see my friends in the cafeteria >figure they did the same thing >"whats up guys? Getting out of class too?" >they stare at me but say nothing >"good thing he died, i hate math" >said it louder than i meant >everyone heard me >"anon... w--?" >everyone staring at me with the angriest faces I've seen I panicked and ran back to class, only to break down and get sent back to the cafeteria. All my friends stopped talking to me from then on.

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Anon has man boobas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)20:01:13 No.65025494 Man Who Thought He'd Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn't Even Know He Still Had >"You're not fooling anyone with those t--- t-----" >Not even trans You know, I thought I had reached rock bottom in terms of self 176 KB JPG esteem but I'm shocked l've managed to fall even further.
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)20:01:13 No.65025494 Man Who Thought He'd Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn't Even Know He Still Had >"You're not fooling anyone with those t--- t-----" >Not even trans You know, I thought I had reached rock bottom in terms of self 176 KB JPG esteem but I'm shocked l've managed to fall even further.

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My life is a lie | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 03/10/21(Wěd)22:48:31 Nó.6269760 >it changes the bread to toast, it doesn't replace it with toast >it uhhhhhh it heats up the bread >and it becomes toast, trust me on this one >there are no tubes under your toaster that takes the bread away and puts toast 6 KB JPG into your toaster >stop looking for it i just said it isn't there
:Anonymous 03/10/21(Wěd)22:48:31 Nó.6269760 >it changes the bread to toast, it doesn't replace it with toast >it uhhhhhh it heats up the bread >and it becomes toast, trust me on this one >there are no tubes under your toaster that takes the bread away and puts toast 6 KB JPG into your toaster >stop looking for it i just said it isn't there

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Anon hates mosquitoes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Mosquito Hate Thread 08/17/21(Tue)09:46:16 No.3898777 You get what you f------ deserve coe.png 315 KB PNG >tfw you successfully track down, isolate, and EXECUTE that F------ mosquito that's been buzzing around your house for 3 days
: Anonymous Mosquito Hate Thread 08/17/21(Tue)09:46:16 No.3898777 You get what you f------ deserve coe.png 315 KB PNG >tfw you successfully track down, isolate, and EXECUTE that F------ mosquito that's been buzzing around your house for 3 days

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Anon is a mom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)19:31:17 No.65025129 >let a girl at work soft bully me >she wants me to make food for her >after a week shes still bugging me >tell her ill get to it when i get to it >she apologizes and tells me to not be mad at her 69 KB JPG >tell her im not mad and tell her ill make something for her >she smiles and calls me a good boy and tells me to hurry and bring her a sample am i a simp for wanting to actually bring her something homemade? i like seeing her smile and i like hearing her talk to me like that
: Anonymous 08/17/21(Tue)19:31:17 No.65025129 >let a girl at work soft bully me >she wants me to make food for her >after a week shes still bugging me >tell her ill get to it when i get to it >she apologizes and tells me to not be mad at her 69 KB JPG >tell her im not mad and tell her ill make something for her >she smiles and calls me a good boy and tells me to hurry and bring her a sample am i a simp for wanting to actually bring her something homemade? i like seeing her smile and i like hearing her talk to me like that

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Anon’s heart breaks for Afghan interpreters | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous (ID: NTAW6P6S ) E Afghanistan 08/18/21(Wed)08:40:02 No.334919303 > Be a normal Afghan man > Be married with kids > The United States invades your country > Lose everything you have > You work with the U.S. as an interpreter > You help the U.S. achieve their goals every step of the way 8 KB JPG > See Taliban begin to slowly gain ground > Read reports that they may overtake the capital > Apply for asylum in the U.S. > Know that if the Taliban take Kabul, they will murder you and your family > The U.S. officially leaves > Watch as no plans are in place to help you relocate > Feel helpless > You did nothing wrong > You helped the U.S. and they turned their back on you > Watch as Joe Biden goes on vacation while your capital gets invaded by the Taliban > Watch Joe Biden say he “has no regrets" > Beg your former American troop friends to help you > They tell you they're angry and they feel helpless because no one is listening > Knock on your door in the middle of the night > 3 Taliban fighters gun down your wife and kids before executing you in your own home for working for the United States > You did nothing wrong and you paid the ultimate price
| Anonymous (ID: NTAW6P6S ) E Afghanistan 08/18/21(Wed)08:40:02 No.334919303 > Be a normal Afghan man > Be married with kids > The United States invades your country > Lose everything you have > You work with the U.S. as an interpreter > You help the U.S. achieve their goals every step of the way 8 KB JPG > See Taliban begin to slowly gain ground > Read reports that they may overtake the capital > Apply for asylum in the U.S. > Know that if the Taliban take Kabul, they will murder you and your family > The U.S. officially leaves > Watch as no plans are in place to help you relocate > Feel helpless > You did nothing wrong > You helped the U.S. and they turned their back on you > Watch as Joe Biden goes on vacation while your capital gets invaded by the Taliban > Watch Joe Biden say he “has no regrets" > Beg your former American troop friends to help you > They tell you they're angry and they feel helpless because no one is listening > Knock on your door in the middle of the night > 3 Taliban fighters gun down your wife and kids before executing you in your own home for working for the United States > You did nothing wrong and you paid the ultimate price

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Anon is a good friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/31/20(Thu)23:22:04 No.843664733 >new years 2012 >at friends house f------ with fireworks >friend lets go of one too late >blows up hand >see a finger go flying >grab it 107 KB PNG >call ambulance for dumbass >put finger on string to make a necklace >give it to him as a gift on his birthday a couple weeks later >he just looks at me with pure hate >mfw i try to pick his nose with it and he starts trying to choke me Was so worth it
: Anonymous 12/31/20(Thu)23:22:04 No.843664733 >new years 2012 >at friends house f------ with fireworks >friend lets go of one too late >blows up hand >see a finger go flying >grab it 107 KB PNG >call ambulance for dumbass >put finger on string to make a necklace >give it to him as a gift on his birthday a couple weeks later >he just looks at me with pure hate >mfw i try to pick his nose with it and he starts trying to choke me Was so worth it

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Green text I just found | /r/Greentext

>Decide to try reddit out to see what it's like >Make account >Can't post anywhere >Turns out people need to upvote your posts before you're allowed to post in other places 62 KB JPG >w-- >Post in a bunch of s----- areas of the site to get some points built up so I can post elsewhere >Still can't post. Your account needs to be a certain age before you can post in most of the website >w-- >Wait a few weeks and try posting again >Make edgy joke >Get permabanned from multiple parts of the site >w-- >Still posting in areas of website l'm not banned from >Decide to give a post I saw that I liked an emoji >Asking for credit card information >w-- you need to pay actual money to put an emoji next to a post? >and people actually do it? >state an opinion I have on something >somebody digs through my account history to find a comment I made awhile ago saying something slightly contradictory because there's no way to make your account private Why the f--- do people use that s--- site.
>Decide to try reddit out to see what it's like >Make account >Can't post anywhere >Turns out people need to upvote your posts before you're allowed to post in other places 62 KB JPG >w-- >Post in a bunch of s----- areas of the site to get some points built up so I can post elsewhere >Still can't post. Your account needs to be a certain age before you can post in most of the website >w-- >Wait a few weeks and try posting again >Make edgy joke >Get permabanned from multiple parts of the site >w-- >Still posting in areas of website l'm not banned from >Decide to give a post I saw that I liked an emoji >Asking for credit card information >w-- you need to pay actual money to put an emoji next to a post? >and people actually do it? >state an opinion I have on something >somebody digs through my account history to find a comment I made awhile ago saying something slightly contradictory because there's no way to make your account private Why the f--- do people use that s--- site.

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Regrets, I’ve had a few | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)08:04:55 No.65046222 Please be patient I have autisn >two years ago >sitting in my room playing vidya >get phone call from a lady friend >pick up, she's in hysterics >after calming down a little bit she tells me her boyfriend sold her nudes to some 42 KB JPG of his friends and she doesn't know what to do >calm her down and tell her to just break up with him >talk for 5 minutes and just have a heart to heart >she says she loves me >inner autism activates >"ok" >hang up >go back to gaming Probably the most retarded moment in my life
: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)08:04:55 No.65046222 Please be patient I have autisn >two years ago >sitting in my room playing vidya >get phone call from a lady friend >pick up, she's in hysterics >after calming down a little bit she tells me her boyfriend sold her nudes to some 42 KB JPG of his friends and she doesn't know what to do >calm her down and tell her to just break up with him >talk for 5 minutes and just have a heart to heart >she says she loves me >inner autism activates >"ok" >hang up >go back to gaming Probably the most retarded moment in my life

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Anon has standards | /r/Greentext

File: IMG 20210707_090411.png (226 KB, 500x500) O Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)11:15:54 No.65033709 [Reply] >match on tinder >instantly send girl a gif >no reply Well she wasn't the one Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)11:59:12 No.65034227 That's pretty based. Persistence is the key.
File: IMG 20210707_090411.png (226 KB, 500x500) O Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)11:15:54 No.65033709 [Reply] >match on tinder >instantly send girl a gif >no reply Well she wasn't the one Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)11:59:12 No.65034227 That's pretty based. Persistence is the key.

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anon greendays | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)04:49:35 No.65030035 >When you're 12 yo and you're walking home from school and Greenday comes on your mp3. >l weally do walk lone. >nyoooo 8 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)04:49:35 No.65030035 >When you're 12 yo and you're walking home from school and Greenday comes on your mp3. >l weally do walk lone. >nyoooo 8 KB JPG

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Anon has an addiction | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/18(Sun)20:56:44 No.773137671 >breast milk / lactation fetish >convince gf to order sketchy meds from vietnam to induce lactation >months later unmarked brown package arrives >loose pills in a bag >f--- it >gf begins taking them with each meal >within a week t--- start leaking >within a month she's gone up a cupsize >t--- defying gravity they're so perky >she can squirt streams of milk across the room >sucking it out best sensation ever >sex is intense and feral >best we've ever had >become addicted to drinking her milk >constantly crave the taste of it (even now) >always end up rock hard when she gives me a drink >ravage her like an animal at the watering hole >seeing great gains in gym, not sure if related or not >brown bag eventually runs out of pills >website we ordered from shut down >milk supply getting smaller >can't find new supplier >milk supply mostly gone >desperation for milk intensifies >get her pregnant intentionally just so I can get more milk >ffw gf is 5 months pregnant and we're in a s----- 1 bedroom rental with no savings >no idea what to do next >breast milk addiction ruining my life >can't wait to drink it again though
: Anonymous 07/01/18(Sun)20:56:44 No.773137671 >breast milk / lactation fetish >convince gf to order sketchy meds from vietnam to induce lactation >months later unmarked brown package arrives >loose pills in a bag >f--- it >gf begins taking them with each meal >within a week t--- start leaking >within a month she's gone up a cupsize >t--- defying gravity they're so perky >she can squirt streams of milk across the room >sucking it out best sensation ever >sex is intense and feral >best we've ever had >become addicted to drinking her milk >constantly crave the taste of it (even now) >always end up rock hard when she gives me a drink >ravage her like an animal at the watering hole >seeing great gains in gym, not sure if related or not >brown bag eventually runs out of pills >website we ordered from shut down >milk supply getting smaller >can't find new supplier >milk supply mostly gone >desperation for milk intensifies >get her pregnant intentionally just so I can get more milk >ffw gf is 5 months pregnant and we're in a s----- 1 bedroom rental with no savings >no idea what to do next >breast milk addiction ruining my life >can't wait to drink it again though

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Anon gets a divorce | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 hours ago 769969141 : Sorry I suck at Greentext. >Catch my now ex-wife cheating on me. >Pretend nothing is wrong but turn into a manipulative sociopath. >Break gas gauge in her car. Siphon gas out randomly so she's always running out. >Get a nanny cam that's hidden in a lamp. Get video of her f------ around. >Find out everything I can about the guy she's f------. >lol dance instructor. >Find out he's looking for work, get ahold of his resume. >Rework it so it's not retarded, impersonate him, and get him an interview at a studio 2 states away. Dream job, if you're a f--. >He bites. Takes the job and after some mushy b------- ghosts my wife. >Meanwhile start siphoning money out of our accounts slowly and keep the cash hidden away in my truck in a lockbox. Put away $10k. >It's time. >Wait for her to be dead asleep, unlock her phone and turn off alarms on days that the coin I flip turns up heads. >She gets fired. Calls me bawling her eyes out. >When she gets home my wedding ring is on the table with her laptop playing the video of them f------. Next to that is a copy of the divorce petition. 10 REPLIES
Anonymous 11 hours ago 769969141 : Sorry I suck at Greentext. >Catch my now ex-wife cheating on me. >Pretend nothing is wrong but turn into a manipulative sociopath. >Break gas gauge in her car. Siphon gas out randomly so she's always running out. >Get a nanny cam that's hidden in a lamp. Get video of her f------ around. >Find out everything I can about the guy she's f------. >lol dance instructor. >Find out he's looking for work, get ahold of his resume. >Rework it so it's not retarded, impersonate him, and get him an interview at a studio 2 states away. Dream job, if you're a f--. >He bites. Takes the job and after some mushy b------- ghosts my wife. >Meanwhile start siphoning money out of our accounts slowly and keep the cash hidden away in my truck in a lockbox. Put away $10k. >It's time. >Wait for her to be dead asleep, unlock her phone and turn off alarms on days that the coin I flip turns up heads. >She gets fired. Calls me bawling her eyes out. >When she gets home my wedding ring is on the table with her laptop playing the video of them f------. Next to that is a copy of the divorce petition. 10 REPLIES

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