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Fell in love once and almost completely | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)01:39:05 No.860088400 >Be a dumb teenager >Fall in love with a girl >Be a really good and loving boyfriend >She cheats on me several times >Never speak to her again >Can no longer love >Have gone through multiple women since treating them like f--- toys and tossing them out 48 KB JPG when I'm bored Is this how it'll always be?
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)01:39:05 No.860088400 >Be a dumb teenager >Fall in love with a girl >Be a really good and loving boyfriend >She cheats on me several times >Never speak to her again >Can no longer love >Have gone through multiple women since treating them like f--- toys and tossing them out 48 KB JPG when I'm bored Is this how it'll always be?

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Anon is a psychopath | /r/Greentext

047941| >follow my highschool bully >leaves his home at 7am >drops off his kid at a daycare then heads to a garage, gets in his car and drives to his job What's the best way to get my revenge? I've been collecting battery acid in a bottle and considering dumping it on his sons face, this way he will understand how awful it is for a kid to grow up ugly and ostracized. It's not a bad idea, he won't run after me with a wounded kid in his arms, and he definitely wont leave him behind to chase me either. But what's 365 KB PNG the best delivery method? The smell is awful, as soon as I open the bottle he will notice the smell and turn around... maybe some kind of fragile flask that I can just throw at him? Any ideas? 21 Replies / 2 Images View Thread Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)13:26:26 No.64794483 >>64794110 Why hurt an innocent kid though? At least dump it on the dude who actually harmed you.
047941| >follow my highschool bully >leaves his home at 7am >drops off his kid at a daycare then heads to a garage, gets in his car and drives to his job What's the best way to get my revenge? I've been collecting battery acid in a bottle and considering dumping it on his sons face, this way he will understand how awful it is for a kid to grow up ugly and ostracized. It's not a bad idea, he won't run after me with a wounded kid in his arms, and he definitely wont leave him behind to chase me either. But what's 365 KB PNG the best delivery method? The smell is awful, as soon as I open the bottle he will notice the smell and turn around... maybe some kind of fragile flask that I can just throw at him? Any ideas? 21 Replies / 2 Images View Thread Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)13:26:26 No.64794483 >>64794110 Why hurt an innocent kid though? At least dump it on the dude who actually harmed you.

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Anon pimps | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)12:52:04 No.860168561 >be me >9yo >shopping at Toys R Us >pick out some Barbie dolls >go to checkout >clerk smiles and asks "oh, are you 186 KB PNG shopping for your sister or cousin?" >"nope, for me" >"aren't those toys a little girly for you?" >"I need some w----- for my GI Joes"
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)12:52:04 No.860168561 >be me >9yo >shopping at Toys R Us >pick out some Barbie dolls >go to checkout >clerk smiles and asks "oh, are you 186 KB PNG shopping for your sister or cousin?" >"nope, for me" >"aren't those toys a little girly for you?" >"I need some w----- for my GI Joes"

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Anon is a bad at tf2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)08:31:50 No.860104881 >my strategy is perfectly valid and if you don't like it you just suck at the game! >I know I play the most skilless character but you're the one who's bad! >w+m1ing is valid! >stop calling me a c--- for killing friendlys! 13 KB JPG H-------- I hate pyro mains
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)08:31:50 No.860104881 >my strategy is perfectly valid and if you don't like it you just suck at the game! >I know I play the most skilless character but you're the one who's bad! >w+m1ing is valid! >stop calling me a c--- for killing friendlys! 13 KB JPG H-------- I hate pyro mains

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anon doesn't like brushing | /r/Greentext

9m (8/2 0:27) ·860135239 4 Re · 0 Img · PNG 249KB · (521 × 534) 2 Replies I SCIENCE >WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T BRUSH TWICE A DAY? >YOU WILL BUY THE BRUSH >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR SAUCE >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR DRINK >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR STRING >YOU WILL RUB ALL THIS SUGAR ON YOUR TEETH TWICE A DAY >THEN ONCE A YEAR YOU WILL GO TO THE DENTIST WHO SAYS YOUR TEETH NEED TO BE REMOVED (YOU PAY) BECAUSE OF TOO MUCH SUGAR >WHY? SCIENCE SAYS INVISIBLE BUGS WILL EAT YOUR TEETH AWAY IF YOU DON'T 7m (8/2 0:29)· 860135375 good luck getting kissed •..
9m (8/2 0:27) ·860135239 4 Re · 0 Img · PNG 249KB · (521 × 534) 2 Replies I SCIENCE >WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T BRUSH TWICE A DAY? >YOU WILL BUY THE BRUSH >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR SAUCE >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR DRINK >YOU WILL BUY THE MINTY SUGAR STRING >YOU WILL RUB ALL THIS SUGAR ON YOUR TEETH TWICE A DAY >THEN ONCE A YEAR YOU WILL GO TO THE DENTIST WHO SAYS YOUR TEETH NEED TO BE REMOVED (YOU PAY) BECAUSE OF TOO MUCH SUGAR >WHY? SCIENCE SAYS INVISIBLE BUGS WILL EAT YOUR TEETH AWAY IF YOU DON'T 7m (8/2 0:29)· 860135375 good luck getting kissed •..

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Anon has good memories | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)21:33:18 No.860114593 GWEENTEXT >walking through city >hungry >notice diner >go in >good food >hot waitress 285 KB PNG >good view from the windows >remember me and my dad used to go to a place like this every weekend nostalgia.jpg Today was a good day anons. Check the place out: bluewaffle.net
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)21:33:18 No.860114593 GWEENTEXT >walking through city >hungry >notice diner >go in >good food >hot waitress 285 KB PNG >good view from the windows >remember me and my dad used to go to a place like this every weekend nostalgia.jpg Today was a good day anons. Check the place out: bluewaffle.net

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Anon Goes Tendie Hunting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)12:26:02 No.860115618 >>860113881 # >Be me >Recently captured sex slave >Bound to bed looking up at qt3.14s >They laugh at my manly 2 inch d--- 188 KB PNG >lhavetwonewmommies.jpg >Demand brekkie tendies immediately >They laugh harder >Blonde demands to be eaten out >Reeeeee! >That kind of love is for my waifu doll only! >Break free with tard strength >They scream >Brunette grabs a violet wand >Blonde grabs a weird, black spatula thing >Starts wacking me with it but it no work due to fat beautiful body >Grab her and tear through her flesh with teeth >Get zapped from behind >Ohnoyoudidn't >Reach around and pick her up like a ragdoll >Throw her out the window and down into the streets >Good riddence >Find freezer >MFW they have tendies >>860115819 #
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)12:26:02 No.860115618 >>860113881 # >Be me >Recently captured sex slave >Bound to bed looking up at qt3.14s >They laugh at my manly 2 inch d--- 188 KB PNG >lhavetwonewmommies.jpg >Demand brekkie tendies immediately >They laugh harder >Blonde demands to be eaten out >Reeeeee! >That kind of love is for my waifu doll only! >Break free with tard strength >They scream >Brunette grabs a violet wand >Blonde grabs a weird, black spatula thing >Starts wacking me with it but it no work due to fat beautiful body >Grab her and tear through her flesh with teeth >Get zapped from behind >Ohnoyoudidn't >Reach around and pick her up like a ragdoll >Throw her out the window and down into the streets >Good riddence >Find freezer >MFW they have tendies >>860115819 #

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Venting his frustrations | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)17:43:45 No.64797261 >riding my bike along a bike trail near my house late at night. >come across an actual rave underneath a bridge like in that one video >bike back home to grab my 3M half face respirator (pic related) and then bike back to the rave 3M 174 KB PNG >put on the 3M half face respirator (pic related) and start flailing my arms like in the video >s---- retarded as f--- >get approached by a hot as f--- goth chick, shes f------ digging my style >starts grinding up on me >she starts leaning in real close >go to kiss her >forget that I am wearing my 3M half face respirator (pic related) >hit her in the face with the exhalation vent >she leaves >bike home f------ w---- 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)17:43:45 No.64797261 >riding my bike along a bike trail near my house late at night. >come across an actual rave underneath a bridge like in that one video >bike back home to grab my 3M half face respirator (pic related) and then bike back to the rave 3M 174 KB PNG >put on the 3M half face respirator (pic related) and start flailing my arms like in the video >s---- retarded as f--- >get approached by a hot as f--- goth chick, shes f------ digging my style >starts grinding up on me >she starts leaning in real close >go to kiss her >forget that I am wearing my 3M half face respirator (pic related) >hit her in the face with the exhalation vent >she leaves >bike home f------ w---- 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon Never Forgives | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 07/29/18(Sun)22:15:30 No.19837515 >virginity was always important to me >Dated a "Christian" girl from college for 7 years. She told me she was a "People who boset about their 12 are losers." -Stepian lian virgin. >l'm now 27, she's 26 6 KB JPG >We've been talking about marraige. I recently bought a $2500 ring >My best friend tells me he found something concerning >He shows me a home made video on p--- hub with a woman who's clearly her >Thank God it was uploaded a year before we met at least >Confront her >She bursts into tears and admits it's her in it >Give her 24 hours to get her s--- out of my house
:Anonymous 07/29/18(Sun)22:15:30 No.19837515 >virginity was always important to me >Dated a "Christian" girl from college for 7 years. She told me she was a "People who boset about their 12 are losers." -Stepian lian virgin. >l'm now 27, she's 26 6 KB JPG >We've been talking about marraige. I recently bought a $2500 ring >My best friend tells me he found something concerning >He shows me a home made video on p--- hub with a woman who's clearly her >Thank God it was uploaded a year before we met at least >Confront her >She bursts into tears and admits it's her in it >Give her 24 hours to get her s--- out of my house

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anon gets called the N word | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)03:42:58 No.860148452 >did something really stupid >parents found out >dad called me a stupid n----- >tfw he is black too
Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)03:42:58 No.860148452 >did something really stupid >parents found out >dad called me a stupid n----- >tfw he is black too

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Anon plays D&D | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/20(Tue)18:22:01 No.75043434 >playing d&d >session 0 >characters being introduced to each other >tell dm I roll to r--- and kill everyone >they refuse 50 KB JPG f------ railroading am i right
: Anonymous 09/22/20(Tue)18:22:01 No.75043434 >playing d&d >session 0 >characters being introduced to each other >tell dm I roll to r--- and kill everyone >they refuse 50 KB JPG f------ railroading am i right

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Anon works at a suicide preventation line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/18(Tue)06:39:13 No.771942963 Hey /b/ I work at a suicide prevention hotline based in the Midwest. Ask me anything while I tell you stories. Let's start with a nice one: >Be me, just getting off call with a 25 KB JPG girl who wanted to kill herself over some guy leaving >Logging the notes of the call while microwaving a soft pretzel >F--- me those pretzels are good >Phone on desk starts to ring >Rush back and pick it up >An old raspy sounding man starts talking >Ask me "Do you got time for a story" >Have to respond yes >Think he is going to tell me a depressing war story, or his entire life story >Old people do that a lot >Guy responds "You ever heard of animal farm" >l'm a f------ retard >think he's talking about a literal farm, they are everywhere here >l ask him to clarify >"You know the book" >Nope.communism >"Oh perfect" >The old man starts reading me animal farm >He does different voices for all the characters I had to ask him to call back later after about 20 minutes, we were getting more calls. Old man, you are out there somewhere thanks for the best f------ night shift I ever had. if 132 Replies / 28 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 06/19/18(Tue)06:39:13 No.771942963 Hey /b/ I work at a suicide prevention hotline based in the Midwest. Ask me anything while I tell you stories. Let's start with a nice one: >Be me, just getting off call with a 25 KB JPG girl who wanted to kill herself over some guy leaving >Logging the notes of the call while microwaving a soft pretzel >F--- me those pretzels are good >Phone on desk starts to ring >Rush back and pick it up >An old raspy sounding man starts talking >Ask me "Do you got time for a story" >Have to respond yes >Think he is going to tell me a depressing war story, or his entire life story >Old people do that a lot >Guy responds "You ever heard of animal farm" >l'm a f------ retard >think he's talking about a literal farm, they are everywhere here >l ask him to clarify >"You know the book" >Nope.communism >"Oh perfect" >The old man starts reading me animal farm >He does different voices for all the characters I had to ask him to call back later after about 20 minutes, we were getting more calls. Old man, you are out there somewhere thanks for the best f------ night shift I ever had. if 132 Replies / 28 Images View Thread

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)09:29:25 No.775216986 >be me >recently broke up with gf LAM >feel sad af >try online dating >meet this girl online 435 KB PNG >we instantly connect >ask her on a date >date a few times, kisses n stuff >one day after going out for dinner she asks me to come at her place for coffee >gonnahavesex.jpg| >she tells me she's into bondage >accept, not really my thing but I guess I can try >tells me to close my eyes >i d >feel her tying my hands >places a blindfold on my head >bed begins to shake and creak >w--.jpg >feel a cold breeze hit my face >i can smell a strong scent of pinewoods >remove the blindfold from my eyes >mfw i'm about to be sentenced to death with other prisoners >mfw i turn around and see todd howard running away while removing his fake wig >mfw i'm now in skyrim
: Anonymous 07/24/18(Tue)09:29:25 No.775216986 >be me >recently broke up with gf LAM >feel sad af >try online dating >meet this girl online 435 KB PNG >we instantly connect >ask her on a date >date a few times, kisses n stuff >one day after going out for dinner she asks me to come at her place for coffee >gonnahavesex.jpg| >she tells me she's into bondage >accept, not really my thing but I guess I can try >tells me to close my eyes >i d >feel her tying my hands >places a blindfold on my head >bed begins to shake and creak >w--.jpg >feel a cold breeze hit my face >i can smell a strong scent of pinewoods >remove the blindfold from my eyes >mfw i'm about to be sentenced to death with other prisoners >mfw i turn around and see todd howard running away while removing his fake wig >mfw i'm now in skyrim

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Anon doesn't achieve his goals | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)12:58:13 No.64794334 > August > Year nearly over > Still not /fit/ > Still no girlfriend > Still no job > Still not able to speak another language > Still no other hobbies than 125 KB JPG lurking and playing vidya What do?
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)12:58:13 No.64794334 > August > Year nearly over > Still not /fit/ > Still no girlfriend > Still no job > Still not able to speak another language > Still no other hobbies than 125 KB JPG lurking and playing vidya What do?

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Anon talking with his crush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)10:13:52 No.64789992 >be me >be smart enough to know I'm socially awkward but not enough to know how to fix it >rarely talk to my crush unless I have a subject to talk about >decide to talk to her today and 3 KB PNG make her laugh >talk about the chris chan lore, go in depth about it and tell her how it all culminated in him r----- his mom, add some "haha" s and "LMAO"s so she knows its supposed to be funny >she just replies stuff like "cool" "i see" "huh" Anons how do I save this?
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)10:13:52 No.64789992 >be me >be smart enough to know I'm socially awkward but not enough to know how to fix it >rarely talk to my crush unless I have a subject to talk about >decide to talk to her today and 3 KB PNG make her laugh >talk about the chris chan lore, go in depth about it and tell her how it all culminated in him r----- his mom, add some "haha" s and "LMAO"s so she knows its supposed to be funny >she just replies stuff like "cool" "i see" "huh" Anons how do I save this?

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Anon hates Reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)23:27:06 No.851720602 >go on reddit >sort by popular >someone posted a news article that won't matter in a couple months >didn't add anything, didn't create anything, just timed submitting a 319 KB PNG news article >38 unique reddit user awards >count of reddit awards displayed prominently on post as they come in >realize someone saw 37 total awards had been given to the post >someone still spent $4.99 to give a 38th award >mfw
: Anonymous 04/09/21(Fri)23:27:06 No.851720602 >go on reddit >sort by popular >someone posted a news article that won't matter in a couple months >didn't add anything, didn't create anything, just timed submitting a 319 KB PNG news article >38 unique reddit user awards >count of reddit awards displayed prominently on post as they come in >realize someone saw 37 total awards had been given to the post >someone still spent $4.99 to give a 38th award >mfw

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Lusty argonian maid | /r/Greentext

File: 10407212 1020499371951245().jpg (67 KB. 611x597) LUSTY AR GONIAN MAID Anonymous 12/19/14(Frij22:07:03 No.588374184 [Reply] H-------- H-------- H-------- > at a local grocery store a few minutes ago >a mother was having a tough time with a crying child > juggling groceries in a hand basket > Stroll over JUST as she dropped a box of cereal > baby is crying harder now > "is there something I can do to help, ma'am?" > "HELL yesh. can you take my baby for just a second?" > "uhh. yeah, sure." > put down my basket of steaks and vegetsbles (no joke) > take the baby > it's crying like the Brotherhood of Steel in NV > all of my wat > wait, now it's my time to shine > start singing in a deep, calm voice > the f------ Dragonbom theme of Skyrim > sing the whole damn song > the baby is asleep by the time I get done > mother is staring at me in awe > "what the hell did you just do" > "it's an ancient Nord lullaby, passed down through my family since Eric the Red. Works every time" > "wait- what? > repeat > "Oh. My. God. I've never seen anything like that before in my life." > "don't know many Nords, do you?" > hand sieeping baby back to mother > "have a good evening" > pick up my meat and veggies and walk away > f--- yeah
File: 10407212 1020499371951245().jpg (67 KB. 611x597) LUSTY AR GONIAN MAID Anonymous 12/19/14(Frij22:07:03 No.588374184 [Reply] H-------- H-------- H-------- > at a local grocery store a few minutes ago >a mother was having a tough time with a crying child > juggling groceries in a hand basket > Stroll over JUST as she dropped a box of cereal > baby is crying harder now > "is there something I can do to help, ma'am?" > "HELL yesh. can you take my baby for just a second?" > "uhh. yeah, sure." > put down my basket of steaks and vegetsbles (no joke) > take the baby > it's crying like the Brotherhood of Steel in NV > all of my wat > wait, now it's my time to shine > start singing in a deep, calm voice > the f------ Dragonbom theme of Skyrim > sing the whole damn song > the baby is asleep by the time I get done > mother is staring at me in awe > "what the hell did you just do" > "it's an ancient Nord lullaby, passed down through my family since Eric the Red. Works every time" > "wait- what? > repeat > "Oh. My. God. I've never seen anything like that before in my life." > "don't know many Nords, do you?" > hand sieeping baby back to mother > "have a good evening" > pick up my meat and veggies and walk away > f--- yeah

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Anon is in trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/30/21(Fri)01:28:09 No.154261110 >at the car dealership >some w---- saleswoman waves at me as l'm walking in >don't make eye contact >walk directly by her as she stands there dumbfounded >go to male representative >turn around and smirk at her "gotcha" >she gives me road head on test drive >>154261597 #
: Anonymous 07/30/21(Fri)01:28:09 No.154261110 >at the car dealership >some w---- saleswoman waves at me as l'm walking in >don't make eye contact >walk directly by her as she stands there dumbfounded >go to male representative >turn around and smirk at her "gotcha" >she gives me road head on test drive >>154261597 #

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Anon really showed them | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/02/14(Sun)22:39:08 No.530509968 >Be me >First day of first grade >Dont really know anybody >See some girl that looks really 1.42 MB GIF cute >I start walking over >Random kid walks up >Says, yo thats my girlfriend >Girl in back starts laughing >So many emotions come forth >Decide the only logical thing to do is punch the f----- in jaw >Yell, "GET WRECKED F------ >Nurse runs up says, "What have you done?" >Turns out I broke the f------ jaw >Never allowed to teach at that school again.
Anonymous 02/02/14(Sun)22:39:08 No.530509968 >Be me >First day of first grade >Dont really know anybody >See some girl that looks really 1.42 MB GIF cute >I start walking over >Random kid walks up >Says, yo thats my girlfriend >Girl in back starts laughing >So many emotions come forth >Decide the only logical thing to do is punch the f----- in jaw >Yell, "GET WRECKED F------ >Nurse runs up says, "What have you done?" >Turns out I broke the f------ jaw >Never allowed to teach at that school again.

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Writer's block | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)07:52:26 No.64791948 >builds small block house >truly happy 2E3 13 KB PNG 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)08:06:36 No.64792054 >>64791987 # >been working at a kindergarten last year >one day, not a single child showed up (covid just started) >just spent the whole day building a giant building block castle with the other employers >best day of my life
: Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)07:52:26 No.64791948 >builds small block house >truly happy 2E3 13 KB PNG 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 08/01/21(Sun)08:06:36 No.64792054 >>64791987 # >been working at a kindergarten last year >one day, not a single child showed up (covid just started) >just spent the whole day building a giant building block castle with the other employers >best day of my life

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