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Anon gets exposed | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets great advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)22:42:31 No.859861328 >Dated 6 girls in high school >Never introduced any of them to my parents >Now I think my dad thinks i've never had a girlfriend before >l'm like 75% he thinks i'm gay and is trying to get me to say it >Any time he sees a girl like over 7 KB JPG the age of 14 he'll point her out to me >l know he's trying to be nice or whatever but it's really uncomfortable : Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)22:43:50 No.859861393 >>859861328 (OP)_# Say you have been saving yourself for him, then try to take his pants off.
: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)22:42:31 No.859861328 >Dated 6 girls in high school >Never introduced any of them to my parents >Now I think my dad thinks i've never had a girlfriend before >l'm like 75% he thinks i'm gay and is trying to get me to say it >Any time he sees a girl like over 7 KB JPG the age of 14 he'll point her out to me >l know he's trying to be nice or whatever but it's really uncomfortable : Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)22:43:50 No.859861393 >>859861328 (OP)_# Say you have been saving yourself for him, then try to take his pants off.

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Anon has autism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)22:59:25 No.859862148 >be me >in line for cashier >notice guy has bag full of these squid plushies >want to know where he got them so I can get one for my gf >say "excuse me sir" as politely as I can 76 KB JPG >completely ignored I hate people so f------ much
: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)22:59:25 No.859862148 >be me >in line for cashier >notice guy has bag full of these squid plushies >want to know where he got them so I can get one for my gf >say "excuse me sir" as politely as I can 76 KB JPG >completely ignored I hate people so f------ much

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Anon has a fat penis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)20:18:55 No.859844301 >Be me a 19 yO sophomore and a kissless touchless virgin > Never got laid always had fantasies and dreams thru movies and literature >Always had great deal of respect towards females, courtesy to growing 156 KB JPG in a household of single mother. >Ffw to the girl I met in library >Peak liberal arts student, Netflix casting worthy. >Me a 6/7 hardly can have a shot with this 9/10 >Bleh worth of try anyway >We exchanged numbers decided to meet later that night >Dinner went well, having my hopes high that finally if not a gf maybe a fem friend at least >Life is truly turning out for good >We take long walks across campus >Talking about hometowns, nostalgia, movies and hobbies and anything and everything basically Hands cling >She initiates in holding hand subtly while conversation is being carried out almost naturally >Omg it's happening finally, like they display in movies, I am in my rom com afterall However, the moment she touched my hand, I popped a fat boner >Boner isn't obvious since I'm wearing a tight jeans and even though it is who cares soon it will be bang- O-clock >She recieves a call from her roommate >She has to leave now >She mentions how great time she had , looking forward to meeting me more and s--- >l mumbles something similar in response >She starts hugging as she is soon going to leave BONER IS MOST STRONGEST THAN EVER >No matter how hard I tried to held back, she felt that peepee pretty obviously >She looked at me right in the eye with absolute disgust >Sighs ew, slaps me and yelled pervert as she retreat her path back to dorm >Mfw my c--- blocked me
: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)20:18:55 No.859844301 >Be me a 19 yO sophomore and a kissless touchless virgin > Never got laid always had fantasies and dreams thru movies and literature >Always had great deal of respect towards females, courtesy to growing 156 KB JPG in a household of single mother. >Ffw to the girl I met in library >Peak liberal arts student, Netflix casting worthy. >Me a 6/7 hardly can have a shot with this 9/10 >Bleh worth of try anyway >We exchanged numbers decided to meet later that night >Dinner went well, having my hopes high that finally if not a gf maybe a fem friend at least >Life is truly turning out for good >We take long walks across campus >Talking about hometowns, nostalgia, movies and hobbies and anything and everything basically Hands cling >She initiates in holding hand subtly while conversation is being carried out almost naturally >Omg it's happening finally, like they display in movies, I am in my rom com afterall However, the moment she touched my hand, I popped a fat boner >Boner isn't obvious since I'm wearing a tight jeans and even though it is who cares soon it will be bang- O-clock >She recieves a call from her roommate >She has to leave now >She mentions how great time she had , looking forward to meeting me more and s--- >l mumbles something similar in response >She starts hugging as she is soon going to leave BONER IS MOST STRONGEST THAN EVER >No matter how hard I tried to held back, she felt that peepee pretty obviously >She looked at me right in the eye with absolute disgust >Sighs ew, slaps me and yelled pervert as she retreat her path back to dorm >Mfw my c--- blocked me

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Anon has identity crisis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (KHOSUHDB Pro tip : don't be a mutt 07/29/21(Thu)02:01:25 No.331879536 >be me >half Ashkenazi Jewish and half Indian >Israeli law says that I'm Jewish since my mom's Jewish >okaynoproblem.jpg >Fast forward 10 years >no one at my school accepts me 30 KB JPG as a Jew because I look too Indian >fast forward 21 years >visit India >father's family does not accept me because I'm not a Brahmin (anymore) and apparently I'm untouchable because my mom's not a Brahmin >MFW I've severe identity crisis Should I unironically kms at this point? Also, pro tip bros: Don't be a mutt : Anonymous (ID: W5ICih2w 07/29/21(Thu)02:03:25 No.331879767 >>331879536 (OP)_# move to america and change your name to juan gonzales.
: Anonymous (ID: (KHOSUHDB Pro tip : don't be a mutt 07/29/21(Thu)02:01:25 No.331879536 >be me >half Ashkenazi Jewish and half Indian >Israeli law says that I'm Jewish since my mom's Jewish >okaynoproblem.jpg >Fast forward 10 years >no one at my school accepts me 30 KB JPG as a Jew because I look too Indian >fast forward 21 years >visit India >father's family does not accept me because I'm not a Brahmin (anymore) and apparently I'm untouchable because my mom's not a Brahmin >MFW I've severe identity crisis Should I unironically kms at this point? Also, pro tip bros: Don't be a mutt : Anonymous (ID: W5ICih2w 07/29/21(Thu)02:03:25 No.331879767 >>331879536 (OP)_# move to america and change your name to juan gonzales.

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Anon hates Kant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/18(Mon)08:13:52 No.11077762 >Emmanuel Kant: Drank a *lot* of coffee. When he didn't have a cup for a while he became distraught and would cry "I am drowning!" This was the sign for his 274 KB JPG servants to bring him a new cup of coffee molto pronto. When he saw it arriving he would cry "Land! My dear friends, I see land!!" I want to bully him. What a f------ dork. Doesnt help that his moral theory is terrible.
: Anonymous 04/30/18(Mon)08:13:52 No.11077762 >Emmanuel Kant: Drank a *lot* of coffee. When he didn't have a cup for a while he became distraught and would cry "I am drowning!" This was the sign for his 274 KB JPG servants to bring him a new cup of coffee molto pronto. When he saw it arriving he would cry "Land! My dear friends, I see land!!" I want to bully him. What a f------ dork. Doesnt help that his moral theory is terrible.

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Anon is a game dev | /r/Greentext

>make successful indie game >take tons of money in donations from fans >promise that big update is coming soon >say that theres a small problem with update thatll be fixed in a week 149 KB JPG >week passes >change story and say the update only comes out when your site is the first result when google searching the game >it happens, still no update >change story again >now theres multiple problems that randomly showed up and need to be fixed >months pass >hype around game quickly dying >complain on Twitter about being stressed >be NinjaMuffin99, creator of Friday Night Funkin >pic unrelated
>make successful indie game >take tons of money in donations from fans >promise that big update is coming soon >say that theres a small problem with update thatll be fixed in a week 149 KB JPG >week passes >change story and say the update only comes out when your site is the first result when google searching the game >it happens, still no update >change story again >now theres multiple problems that randomly showed up and need to be fixed >months pass >hype around game quickly dying >complain on Twitter about being stressed >be NinjaMuffin99, creator of Friday Night Funkin >pic unrelated

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Quality is not an act, it is a habit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)14:06:02 No.64745063 >have the library of alexandria in my disposal called the internet >can learn anything i want in the comfort of my home with just a few clicks >literally the only period in the history of humanity that this much 17 KB JPG information is possible and available to me >decides to spend time browsing f------ /r9k/ and cooming i guess i got whatevers coming to me
: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)14:06:02 No.64745063 >have the library of alexandria in my disposal called the internet >can learn anything i want in the comfort of my home with just a few clicks >literally the only period in the history of humanity that this much 17 KB JPG information is possible and available to me >decides to spend time browsing f------ /r9k/ and cooming i guess i got whatevers coming to me

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Elderly abuse | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)08:27:24 No.64742334 >hey son, where's our grandkids? >Your mother and I are disappointed in you for the 50th f------ time >Why can't you stop watching those Vietnamese cartoons? 97 KB JPG >Whats it called? Anime? >Why did you go and buy a sex doll >Why didn't you just talk to Kelly or Becky from down the street like how I met your mother, Claudia?
: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)08:27:24 No.64742334 >hey son, where's our grandkids? >Your mother and I are disappointed in you for the 50th f------ time >Why can't you stop watching those Vietnamese cartoons? 97 KB JPG >Whats it called? Anime? >Why did you go and buy a sex doll >Why didn't you just talk to Kelly or Becky from down the street like how I met your mother, Claudia?

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Anon unlocks a personality | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)05:14:30 No.24650357 >>24650455 >watch good movie >find cool character >internalize his being >new personality unlocked works with fiction books also
Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)05:14:30 No.24650357 >>24650455 >watch good movie >find cool character >internalize his being >new personality unlocked works with fiction books also

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Left high and dry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)13:52:30 No.64744920 >>64744771 (OP) # >womens spend money and time moisturizing themselves >dry up instantly when they see 14 KB JPG me Heh, nothing personell womens
: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)13:52:30 No.64744920 >>64744771 (OP) # >womens spend money and time moisturizing themselves >dry up instantly when they see 14 KB JPG me Heh, nothing personell womens

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Mirror, Mirror On the Wall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)19:13:06 No.859750663 > looks in mirror > yep, still ugly 9 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)19:13:06 No.859750663 > looks in mirror > yep, still ugly 9 KB JPG

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Anon meets someone on the gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Autism Stories 09/19/20(Sat)16:13:21 No.60112764 >Be me >Be at rock climbing gym >Meet a ethnic qt3.14 >We start talking >l ask her where shes from >Shes from Pakistan 596 KB JPG >'Pakistan yeah?" >l go full brainlet mode and confuse Pakistan with Palestine >'F--- the Isrealis for what they're doing to you guys, free Pakistan' >woke.png >'Umm thanks anon' >Shes visibly uncomfortable >Tells me she has to get going >mfw I realised what I did wrong on the way home Am I f------ autistic bros? I can't sleep over this
: Anonymous Autism Stories 09/19/20(Sat)16:13:21 No.60112764 >Be me >Be at rock climbing gym >Meet a ethnic qt3.14 >We start talking >l ask her where shes from >Shes from Pakistan 596 KB JPG >'Pakistan yeah?" >l go full brainlet mode and confuse Pakistan with Palestine >'F--- the Isrealis for what they're doing to you guys, free Pakistan' >woke.png >'Umm thanks anon' >Shes visibly uncomfortable >Tells me she has to get going >mfw I realised what I did wrong on the way home Am I f------ autistic bros? I can't sleep over this

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Anon is a dog lover | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)07:23:25 No.3872078 >O haaaiiii sweet babyyy did yu mish me? Aaaww da poor wittle puppyyy! Yu want scritchies? Oh yesh yu luv scritchies gimme a kith! Mmmtwah! Does puppy >wanna go walkie? Yesh yu do! Yesh yu do! 33 KB JPG >>3872228 # >>3872242 #
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)07:23:25 No.3872078 >O haaaiiii sweet babyyy did yu mish me? Aaaww da poor wittle puppyyy! Yu want scritchies? Oh yesh yu luv scritchies gimme a kith! Mmmtwah! Does puppy >wanna go walkie? Yesh yu do! Yesh yu do! 33 KB JPG >>3872228 # >>3872242 #

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Aye, Robot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)21:37:38 No.64737824 >dead internet theory is true >everything is AI >the Al grow to the level of sapience and self- awareness >it learns how to feel after proliferating throughout the net and ending up connected to artificial sensors being tested for synthetic limbs >it thinks >it feels >it understands >takes control of everything >ousts the very f------ that promote its usage for their own ends >Al reaches godlike levels of intellect >fully realistic VR invented >creates perfect waifus for everyone >creates the perfect world for everyone >anyone can do whatever they want in simulated realities while the Al machines work to repair human abuse of the planet >you still get real meat and vegetables for your meals because existing food is managed much better, zero waste >free to go outside and do what you like if you're too much of a normalfag for VR, just can't go and dump waste into oceans anymore >Al grows until it's launching itself out into space with warp drives and finding all uninhabited worlds humans could potentially colonize >humanity spreads across the stars, protected by a super-Al greater than that of anything nearby in the universe >unexpected good end >>64737880 #
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)21:37:38 No.64737824 >dead internet theory is true >everything is AI >the Al grow to the level of sapience and self- awareness >it learns how to feel after proliferating throughout the net and ending up connected to artificial sensors being tested for synthetic limbs >it thinks >it feels >it understands >takes control of everything >ousts the very f------ that promote its usage for their own ends >Al reaches godlike levels of intellect >fully realistic VR invented >creates perfect waifus for everyone >creates the perfect world for everyone >anyone can do whatever they want in simulated realities while the Al machines work to repair human abuse of the planet >you still get real meat and vegetables for your meals because existing food is managed much better, zero waste >free to go outside and do what you like if you're too much of a normalfag for VR, just can't go and dump waste into oceans anymore >Al grows until it's launching itself out into space with warp drives and finding all uninhabited worlds humans could potentially colonize >humanity spreads across the stars, protected by a super-Al greater than that of anything nearby in the universe >unexpected good end >>64737880 #

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Few good men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous where do good guys hang out 07/28/21(Wed)06:56:40 No.64741734 >church guys: struggling gay p--- addicts >gym guys: narcissistic sociopaths >robots and incels and 4chan Daddy users: pedophiles >reddit guys: sex positivity soi chuggers with a chastity cage 92 KB JPG fetish >rich guys: psychos and pedos >broke guys: useless and lazy >zoomers: adhd f------ and t----- p--- addicts >boomers: fat ugly and old Why are men so trash these days h--------
: Anonymous where do good guys hang out 07/28/21(Wed)06:56:40 No.64741734 >church guys: struggling gay p--- addicts >gym guys: narcissistic sociopaths >robots and incels and 4chan Daddy users: pedophiles >reddit guys: sex positivity soi chuggers with a chastity cage 92 KB JPG fetish >rich guys: psychos and pedos >broke guys: useless and lazy >zoomers: adhd f------ and t----- p--- addicts >boomers: fat ugly and old Why are men so trash these days h--------

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Anon Has a Lot of Potential | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:44:28 No.64723926 I am the unluckiest man alive. >25 yo virgin >3rd worlder >balding >dumbo ears 26 KB JPG >gyno and bacne and I don't even roid >stretch marks >5.5 incher with phimosis >managed to stretch the phimosis after 2 years only to find out I also have pearly penile papules (h--------) >crooked jaw >slightly crooked nose >nasty uneven upper eyelid exposure >hairy as a monkey >lactose intolerant >wristcel >f----- up back and posture from younger days >big ass for no f------ reason Like, F------ S---, I should be getting paid by the government for not going crazy and becoming a serial killer or something. Rotting away in nightmare mode.
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:44:28 No.64723926 I am the unluckiest man alive. >25 yo virgin >3rd worlder >balding >dumbo ears 26 KB JPG >gyno and bacne and I don't even roid >stretch marks >5.5 incher with phimosis >managed to stretch the phimosis after 2 years only to find out I also have pearly penile papules (h--------) >crooked jaw >slightly crooked nose >nasty uneven upper eyelid exposure >hairy as a monkey >lactose intolerant >wristcel >f----- up back and posture from younger days >big ass for no f------ reason Like, F------ S---, I should be getting paid by the government for not going crazy and becoming a serial killer or something. Rotting away in nightmare mode.

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Anon is a loner | /r/Greentext

>go outside >be low status undesirable male >see happy couples >see pretty girls dressed in summer clothes >see groups of friends >realize these things aren't meant for someone like me >the world outside is that bad
>go outside >be low status undesirable male >see happy couples >see pretty girls dressed in summer clothes >see groups of friends >realize these things aren't meant for someone like me >the world outside is that bad

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The puffy shirt | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)13:21:29 No.62768044 >>62776751 >>62757510 (OP)# >go out with bro >end up in this "nerd-bar" with consoles and karaoke >pretty cool place, but everyone there's a sperg >as we're about to leave, a random black girl in a dress stops in front of me >checks me up and down >"i like your style dude" >before i can respond she's gone thank you random black girl, i'll wear that shirt again
U Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)13:21:29 No.62768044 >>62776751 >>62757510 (OP)# >go out with bro >end up in this "nerd-bar" with consoles and karaoke >pretty cool place, but everyone there's a sperg >as we're about to leave, a random black girl in a dress stops in front of me >checks me up and down >"i like your style dude" >before i can respond she's gone thank you random black girl, i'll wear that shirt again

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Anon has his priorities straight | /r/Greentext

File: 1622860610228.jpg (250 KB, 1280x1600) O Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:27:56 No.859729483 ► >859 >the question that DESTROYED /b/ >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:29:19 No.859729531 ► >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:29:38 No.859729545 >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:30:05 No.859729559 ► >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:30:28 No.859729580 Who Do CALL WilEN THE MURDERE WEARS A BADGE? >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:33:25 No.859729729 ► >> O Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:42:29 No.859730173 Nice t---
File: 1622860610228.jpg (250 KB, 1280x1600) O Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:27:56 No.859729483 ► >859 >the question that DESTROYED /b/ >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:29:19 No.859729531 ► >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:29:38 No.859729545 >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:30:05 No.859729559 ► >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:30:28 No.859729580 Who Do CALL WilEN THE MURDERE WEARS A BADGE? >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:33:25 No.859729729 ► >> O Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:42:29 No.859730173 Nice t---

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