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Anon Has a Lot of Potential | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:44:28 No.64723926 I am the unluckiest man alive. >25 yo virgin >3rd worlder >balding >dumbo ears 26 KB JPG >gyno and bacne and I don't even roid >stretch marks >5.5 incher with phimosis >managed to stretch the phimosis after 2 years only to find out I also have pearly penile papules (h--------) >crooked jaw >slightly crooked nose >nasty uneven upper eyelid exposure >hairy as a monkey >lactose intolerant >wristcel >f----- up back and posture from younger days >big ass for no f------ reason Like, F------ S---, I should be getting paid by the government for not going crazy and becoming a serial killer or something. Rotting away in nightmare mode.
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:44:28 No.64723926 I am the unluckiest man alive. >25 yo virgin >3rd worlder >balding >dumbo ears 26 KB JPG >gyno and bacne and I don't even roid >stretch marks >5.5 incher with phimosis >managed to stretch the phimosis after 2 years only to find out I also have pearly penile papules (h--------) >crooked jaw >slightly crooked nose >nasty uneven upper eyelid exposure >hairy as a monkey >lactose intolerant >wristcel >f----- up back and posture from younger days >big ass for no f------ reason Like, F------ S---, I should be getting paid by the government for not going crazy and becoming a serial killer or something. Rotting away in nightmare mode.

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Anon is a loner | /r/Greentext

>go outside >be low status undesirable male >see happy couples >see pretty girls dressed in summer clothes >see groups of friends >realize these things aren't meant for someone like me >the world outside is that bad
>go outside >be low status undesirable male >see happy couples >see pretty girls dressed in summer clothes >see groups of friends >realize these things aren't meant for someone like me >the world outside is that bad

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The puffy shirt | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)13:21:29 No.62768044 >>62776751 >>62757510 (OP)# >go out with bro >end up in this "nerd-bar" with consoles and karaoke >pretty cool place, but everyone there's a sperg >as we're about to leave, a random black girl in a dress stops in front of me >checks me up and down >"i like your style dude" >before i can respond she's gone thank you random black girl, i'll wear that shirt again
U Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)13:21:29 No.62768044 >>62776751 >>62757510 (OP)# >go out with bro >end up in this "nerd-bar" with consoles and karaoke >pretty cool place, but everyone there's a sperg >as we're about to leave, a random black girl in a dress stops in front of me >checks me up and down >"i like your style dude" >before i can respond she's gone thank you random black girl, i'll wear that shirt again

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Anon has his priorities straight | /r/Greentext

File: 1622860610228.jpg (250 KB, 1280x1600) O Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:27:56 No.859729483 ► >859 >the question that DESTROYED /b/ >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:29:19 No.859729531 ► >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:29:38 No.859729545 >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:30:05 No.859729559 ► >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:30:28 No.859729580 Who Do CALL WilEN THE MURDERE WEARS A BADGE? >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:33:25 No.859729729 ► >> O Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:42:29 No.859730173 Nice t---
File: 1622860610228.jpg (250 KB, 1280x1600) O Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:27:56 No.859729483 ► >859 >the question that DESTROYED /b/ >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:29:19 No.859729531 ► >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:29:38 No.859729545 >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:30:05 No.859729559 ► >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:30:28 No.859729580 Who Do CALL WilEN THE MURDERE WEARS A BADGE? >> Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:33:25 No.859729729 ► >> O Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:42:29 No.859730173 Nice t---

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Anon works at Blizzard Entertainment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)00:13:37 No.345165539 >be me, just another day at Blizzard HQ >2 women come in >obviously new, they sat down at their desks >get up out of my office chair to greet them 169 KB PNG >my massive, throbbing boner-in-making almost bursted through my trousers out of sheer excitement >alpha pheromones release from my body as I walk up to them >one of them notices me as she slightly turns her head towards me, whispering to herself "...oh no..." >my now erect penis can sense their fear >they are both fully aware of my presence as I walk up to them >"hey you guys are new here right?" As I put my hand on one of their shoulder >every single male employee in the room takes notice of my act of dominance >"y-..yeah.." one of them stutters, looking down at their desk >my penis is about to explode >"that's alright, you'll get the hang of it around here pretty quick! Make yourself at home!" >"th... th...thank you..." >suddenly all the males in the room start to slowly beat their chest with one closed fist, slightly humming to themselves >I lean in towards these women, as I whisper to them "it was my privilege" >upon this act of powerplay, the women lost it and they ran to the lactation room >vague monkey and ape noises emits from the room as all the men grab their crotch and shout in unison "aroo, aroo, aroo" >my penis, now diamonds, burst through my pants and e--------- all over their desk >find out a week later one of them committed suicide >blasted "SORRY FOR PARTY ROCKING" from the company's speakers that day
: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)00:13:37 No.345165539 >be me, just another day at Blizzard HQ >2 women come in >obviously new, they sat down at their desks >get up out of my office chair to greet them 169 KB PNG >my massive, throbbing boner-in-making almost bursted through my trousers out of sheer excitement >alpha pheromones release from my body as I walk up to them >one of them notices me as she slightly turns her head towards me, whispering to herself "...oh no..." >my now erect penis can sense their fear >they are both fully aware of my presence as I walk up to them >"hey you guys are new here right?" As I put my hand on one of their shoulder >every single male employee in the room takes notice of my act of dominance >"y-..yeah.." one of them stutters, looking down at their desk >my penis is about to explode >"that's alright, you'll get the hang of it around here pretty quick! Make yourself at home!" >"th... th...thank you..." >suddenly all the males in the room start to slowly beat their chest with one closed fist, slightly humming to themselves >I lean in towards these women, as I whisper to them "it was my privilege" >upon this act of powerplay, the women lost it and they ran to the lactation room >vague monkey and ape noises emits from the room as all the men grab their crotch and shout in unison "aroo, aroo, aroo" >my penis, now diamonds, burst through my pants and e--------- all over their desk >find out a week later one of them committed suicide >blasted "SORRY FOR PARTY ROCKING" from the company's speakers that day

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Pride and Prejudice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)20:38:01 No.64737253 >go to crystal cafe >thread about confessions ?? >a girl mentions a sweet guy being clearly in lovr with her but she wouldn't because he's ??? Hispanic >she asks if this is bad 23 KB JPG >dozens of other girls reassuring her discriminating against race is not actually racist >claim they can't help it because its a preference >it's not racist because they didn't choose to be like that (like they're born with it or something) >say its like liking tall or attractive guys >somehow think that not discriminating against other races is like being r---- by them >this is literally most of them >before it got deleted I found out cc has rules against posting about race because girls are incredibly racist It was surreal. They're even worse than /pol/. /pol/ will straight up tell you they're racist, and at least it's because of crime or some s--- idk. These girls straight up just look down on other races. And think it's not racist.
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)20:38:01 No.64737253 >go to crystal cafe >thread about confessions ?? >a girl mentions a sweet guy being clearly in lovr with her but she wouldn't because he's ??? Hispanic >she asks if this is bad 23 KB JPG >dozens of other girls reassuring her discriminating against race is not actually racist >claim they can't help it because its a preference >it's not racist because they didn't choose to be like that (like they're born with it or something) >say its like liking tall or attractive guys >somehow think that not discriminating against other races is like being r---- by them >this is literally most of them >before it got deleted I found out cc has rules against posting about race because girls are incredibly racist It was surreal. They're even worse than /pol/. /pol/ will straight up tell you they're racist, and at least it's because of crime or some s--- idk. These girls straight up just look down on other races. And think it's not racist.

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Anon has a fever dream about Wendy's | /r/Greentext

File: Untitled67_2.jpg (119 KB, 816x921) O Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)19:39:34 No.64737270 >>64737331 >>64737388 >>64737430 >>64738700 >>64739139 >>64739710 >>64739734 >>64739767 >just got off my 4th day a new wendys wagie job >feel like s--- physically and mentally >decide to go to sleep right as i get home and change up my schedule a bit >try to go to sleep >2 hours of fever dreamish state of constant sandwich making thoughts >2 hours of not knowing if im awake or asleep, only knowing burgers w-- is this s---?? is this normal? i just wasted 2 hours of my free time on being in a schrodingers junior bacon cheeseburger hyperbolic time chamber blanket
File: Untitled67_2.jpg (119 KB, 816x921) O Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)19:39:34 No.64737270 >>64737331 >>64737388 >>64737430 >>64738700 >>64739139 >>64739710 >>64739734 >>64739767 >just got off my 4th day a new wendys wagie job >feel like s--- physically and mentally >decide to go to sleep right as i get home and change up my schedule a bit >try to go to sleep >2 hours of fever dreamish state of constant sandwich making thoughts >2 hours of not knowing if im awake or asleep, only knowing burgers w-- is this s---?? is this normal? i just wasted 2 hours of my free time on being in a schrodingers junior bacon cheeseburger hyperbolic time chamber blanket

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anon eats tendies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)01:57:58 No.785845695 >be me >12 y/o tard >really wanna eat tendies >eat so many >ff an hour >theurge.wav >race to the bathroom, s--- like never 42 KB JPG before >time to wipe >damn that felt good >wipe again >wipe again, and again, etc >feelsgoodman.jpg >30th wipe, no more tp >oh no >look at toilet and see how much I used >couldn't fit more if you tried >12 y/o me panics, must destroy evidence >flushing does nothing, panicking more >toilet gurgles, it goes down an inch >water starts overflowing >my dad knocks on the door, asks if I'm ok >yeahjustfine.mp4 >water seeps under the door, he asks what's going on >full blown panic attack sets in, I desperately grab handfuls of semi dissolved, s--- covered tp and toss it in the bathtub >vomit when hand touches log >dad breaks down the door after hearing the commotion >finds me shoveling s--- and tp into the bathtub, sobbing, hyperventilating, vomiting I'm 32 now and he still brings this up
: Anonymous 11/26/18(Mon)01:57:58 No.785845695 >be me >12 y/o tard >really wanna eat tendies >eat so many >ff an hour >theurge.wav >race to the bathroom, s--- like never 42 KB JPG before >time to wipe >damn that felt good >wipe again >wipe again, and again, etc >feelsgoodman.jpg >30th wipe, no more tp >oh no >look at toilet and see how much I used >couldn't fit more if you tried >12 y/o me panics, must destroy evidence >flushing does nothing, panicking more >toilet gurgles, it goes down an inch >water starts overflowing >my dad knocks on the door, asks if I'm ok >yeahjustfine.mp4 >water seeps under the door, he asks what's going on >full blown panic attack sets in, I desperately grab handfuls of semi dissolved, s--- covered tp and toss it in the bathtub >vomit when hand touches log >dad breaks down the door after hearing the commotion >finds me shoveling s--- and tp into the bathtub, sobbing, hyperventilating, vomiting I'm 32 now and he still brings this up

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Anon has a threesome | /r/Greentext

2h (7/28 11:28) 859831912 5 Replies >>859831601 >Be me, 17 >Look older than I am >Use fake id to get into pubs and clubs >Me and one friend go to a club known as a cougar den >Get talking to two women >Both in their 40s >Both have kids >Keep buying me and friend drinks >Friend eventually has to leave >Left with the two women >All decide to go back to milf 1's house for a nightcap >Get even more drunk there >Start talking about their ex-husbands >Conversation eventually turns to sex >Milf 1 goes to the bathroom >Make out with milf 2 >Milf 1 comes back >Make out with her >Switch between them until milf 2 undoes my fly >Both give me a b------ >Go up to the bedroom >F--- them both for hours
2h (7/28 11:28) 859831912 5 Replies >>859831601 >Be me, 17 >Look older than I am >Use fake id to get into pubs and clubs >Me and one friend go to a club known as a cougar den >Get talking to two women >Both in their 40s >Both have kids >Keep buying me and friend drinks >Friend eventually has to leave >Left with the two women >All decide to go back to milf 1's house for a nightcap >Get even more drunk there >Start talking about their ex-husbands >Conversation eventually turns to sex >Milf 1 goes to the bathroom >Make out with milf 2 >Milf 1 comes back >Make out with her >Switch between them until milf 2 undoes my fly >Both give me a b------ >Go up to the bedroom >F--- them both for hours

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Anon wants to play Titanfall 2 | /r/Greentext


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Bibliophile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)15:01:25 No.64733688 >be me >no gf, my last one left me >emotionally crippled from the experience >load up Monika After Story >Monika says she loves me >at least she loves me 561 KB JPG >thanks Monika
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)15:01:25 No.64733688 >be me >no gf, my last one left me >emotionally crippled from the experience >load up Monika After Story >Monika says she loves me >at least she loves me 561 KB JPG >thanks Monika

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Volunteer as tribute | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)15:38:33 No.64733997 >at gfs house >her dad is obviously not happy with my presence >she and her mom are making weird autistic child noises while rubbing each other's noises >her cat is f------ an unicorn plush toy >some hunger game's copycat is playing at the tv, but instead of random people they chose inmates 99 KB JPG pls help
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)15:38:33 No.64733997 >at gfs house >her dad is obviously not happy with my presence >she and her mom are making weird autistic child noises while rubbing each other's noises >her cat is f------ an unicorn plush toy >some hunger game's copycat is playing at the tv, but instead of random people they chose inmates 99 KB JPG pls help

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Anon doesnt know how to handle women | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)13:42:22 No.859837729 > be me > 17yo kissless virgin > on party > girl i know from art class sits next to me on the couch > "You know, I really like you Anon" > "Okay" > leave
O Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)13:42:22 No.859837729 > be me > 17yo kissless virgin > on party > girl i know from art class sits next to me on the couch > "You know, I really like you Anon" > "Okay" > leave

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Detective investigates a 4channel user | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/20(Wed)20:03:45 No.126893700 >*ring ring* *click* >Jenkins. Any updates? >There was one thing sir. 11 bans on record from a site called '4channel' 81 KB GIF >'4channel' huh? >*chief writes it down on a post it note* >why does that name sound so familiar.... >*chief sets his coffee down on the note, covering 'nel' and revealing '4chan' >*chief's eyes go wide* >JENKINS, GET AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER NOW- >*explosions, screaming heard over the phone* >>126893866 # >>126894308 # >>126894833 # >>126897851 # >>126897959 # >>126903592 # >>126903766#
: Anonymous 01/01/20(Wed)20:03:45 No.126893700 >*ring ring* *click* >Jenkins. Any updates? >There was one thing sir. 11 bans on record from a site called '4channel' 81 KB GIF >'4channel' huh? >*chief writes it down on a post it note* >why does that name sound so familiar.... >*chief sets his coffee down on the note, covering 'nel' and revealing '4chan' >*chief's eyes go wide* >JENKINS, GET AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER NOW- >*explosions, screaming heard over the phone* >>126893866 # >>126894308 # >>126894833 # >>126897851 # >>126897959 # >>126903592 # >>126903766#

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Absent Friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)16:07:47 No.64734256 >bump into guy I was friends with as a kid >"Hey Anon, is that you?" >I'm a shut-in khy with no friends Fug and a dead end job >l know from googling him and a bunch of my other old classmates months ago that he's a law 16 KB PNG student and has a girlfriend >don't want to have to talk about our lives and have him think he's better than me >idea.jpg >"Sorry, do I know you?" >he looks confused, says his name >pretend to search my memory for a bit and then shrug and say "sorry, I don't know anybody by that name" >he stares at me for a few seconds and then goes "oh sorry" and walks away Did I f--- up? Is there a chance he thought he had the wrong person? I know he said my name but I never confirmed or denied that was me
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)16:07:47 No.64734256 >bump into guy I was friends with as a kid >"Hey Anon, is that you?" >I'm a shut-in khy with no friends Fug and a dead end job >l know from googling him and a bunch of my other old classmates months ago that he's a law 16 KB PNG student and has a girlfriend >don't want to have to talk about our lives and have him think he's better than me >idea.jpg >"Sorry, do I know you?" >he looks confused, says his name >pretend to search my memory for a bit and then shrug and say "sorry, I don't know anybody by that name" >he stares at me for a few seconds and then goes "oh sorry" and walks away Did I f--- up? Is there a chance he thought he had the wrong person? I know he said my name but I never confirmed or denied that was me

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/18/20(Wed)05:19:51 No.57212570 >be me in class >professor asks us to guess what % of the USA is each race >asks us what % of the USA do we think is white >answers range from 50%-80% >asks us what % of the USA do we think 165 KB PNG is Asian >answers range from 1%-15% >asks us what % of the USA is do we think is black >everyone instantly answers 13% >mfw
: Anonymous 03/18/20(Wed)05:19:51 No.57212570 >be me in class >professor asks us to guess what % of the USA is each race >asks us what % of the USA do we think is white >answers range from 50%-80% >asks us what % of the USA do we think 165 KB PNG is Asian >answers range from 1%-15% >asks us what % of the USA is do we think is black >everyone instantly answers 13% >mfw

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anon has big brain | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)12:23:29 No.859828837 File: 4tbseq2uh1h31.jpg (80 KB, 960x873) >be me >brown boy >Dont have expereince arguing with people >Turkrish man joins server >calls me all swear word possible >big brain mode activated >go to balkan server >copy what he said to me and write it in the server. >copy the response. >use the response against turk >turdroach destroyed Cutting metal with metal . That's how its done.
U Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)12:23:29 No.859828837 File: 4tbseq2uh1h31.jpg (80 KB, 960x873) >be me >brown boy >Dont have expereince arguing with people >Turkrish man joins server >calls me all swear word possible >big brain mode activated >go to balkan server >copy what he said to me and write it in the server. >copy the response. >use the response against turk >turdroach destroyed Cutting metal with metal . That's how its done.

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Anon is hurt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)03:22:55 No.154182982 com 1627278560607.jpg 42 KB JPG >i fapped again today >to see if i still feel
: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)03:22:55 No.154182982 com 1627278560607.jpg 42 KB JPG >i fapped again today >to see if i still feel

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Anon wishes he was cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)13:19:55 No.859792184 >be me today >on a bus >some anti-mask moron comes up to me and starts swinging his hands Cvisible comfusion right by my face demanding to know why do I wear it >tell him that I'm already vaccinated 50 KB JPG but do it for the sake of others, it's safer >his peanut-sized brain is trying very hard to process what I just said, takes him good few seconds >the guy blows up on me, ranting about covid being a hoax >I calmly look at him as I see some old lady approach >this bitch hits him in the head with her wooden cane >old lady keeps hitting him with the cane, calling him slurs I never heard of >moron leaves on the next stop, visibly upset and embarassed >old lady says that she saw it all and came up to me because she had enough of that b------- and seeing my body type she knew that l'd kill him on the spot if I got irritated >lady leaves on the other stop, leaving everyone in disbelief and me with a smile Chad grandma
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)13:19:55 No.859792184 >be me today >on a bus >some anti-mask moron comes up to me and starts swinging his hands Cvisible comfusion right by my face demanding to know why do I wear it >tell him that I'm already vaccinated 50 KB JPG but do it for the sake of others, it's safer >his peanut-sized brain is trying very hard to process what I just said, takes him good few seconds >the guy blows up on me, ranting about covid being a hoax >I calmly look at him as I see some old lady approach >this bitch hits him in the head with her wooden cane >old lady keeps hitting him with the cane, calling him slurs I never heard of >moron leaves on the next stop, visibly upset and embarassed >old lady says that she saw it all and came up to me because she had enough of that b------- and seeing my body type she knew that l'd kill him on the spot if I got irritated >lady leaves on the other stop, leaving everyone in disbelief and me with a smile Chad grandma

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Another Pleasant Valley Sunday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous /comfy/ 07/27/21(Tue)20:35:00 No.64737224 Who else here /comfy/ right now? >just got home from a long day of hard work >gonna get some McDonald's and watch tv >after I'm done eating l'll play stardew valley until I pass out >tfw no work tomorrow 97 KB JPG | >tfw comfy
: Anonymous /comfy/ 07/27/21(Tue)20:35:00 No.64737224 Who else here /comfy/ right now? >just got home from a long day of hard work >gonna get some McDonald's and watch tv >after I'm done eating l'll play stardew valley until I pass out >tfw no work tomorrow 97 KB JPG | >tfw comfy

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