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Anon beats the system | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: FemwP9CZ 07/27/21(Tue)20:42:45 No.39221563 >live in a modern NEET domicile (manufactured home) that I purchased and had installed on a foundation for less than 100k >all bills and living expenses are 10k a year because no vices, pets, degenerate 21 KB PNG habits or social life >easily paid for by casually trading, two hours of "work" max weekly >spend the rest of my time playing video games, browsing the internet and fapping >edge daily but only c-- once a month to preserve chi, so my mood and emotional health remain stable it feels like I beat the system >>39221974 # >>39222013 # >>39222090 # >>39222756 # >>39222923 #
: Anonymous (ID: FemwP9CZ 07/27/21(Tue)20:42:45 No.39221563 >live in a modern NEET domicile (manufactured home) that I purchased and had installed on a foundation for less than 100k >all bills and living expenses are 10k a year because no vices, pets, degenerate 21 KB PNG habits or social life >easily paid for by casually trading, two hours of "work" max weekly >spend the rest of my time playing video games, browsing the internet and fapping >edge daily but only c-- once a month to preserve chi, so my mood and emotional health remain stable it feels like I beat the system >>39221974 # >>39222013 # >>39222090 # >>39222756 # >>39222923 #

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Anon gonna die a virgin because of high standards and low awareness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a decent face. 84 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:18:56 No.62001152 Anyone else probably gonna die a virgin because you refuse to settle for the fat/ugly easy girls? I'm just not even interested in anything less than a qt, or at least a chubby girl with sexy fat distribution and a decent face. 84 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)08:21:17 No.62001180 >>62001152 (OP) # >applies reverse logic >realises women will never settle for him 23 KB PNG tfw

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Vandelay Industries | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)13:26:07 No.64732800 >getting old >can't be a neet anymore >my resume looks like utter dogshit >add some fake b------- landscaping company as prior experience >apply to nearly every job I can 559 КВ PNG >Get 10 replies the next day >look like an complete retard during every interview >hired by the end of the week >now at a local hospital cleaning s--- as some sort of technician on the overnight shift >There's barely anything to do and I spend most of the night just playing runescape on my phone. >make 44% more than the local average. I'm still in shock at how easy it was to get a job with literally no prior job experience. I'm a complete f------ failure and l'm making more than 90% of jobs I skimmed through that required а ВА or AA.
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)13:26:07 No.64732800 >getting old >can't be a neet anymore >my resume looks like utter dogshit >add some fake b------- landscaping company as prior experience >apply to nearly every job I can 559 КВ PNG >Get 10 replies the next day >look like an complete retard during every interview >hired by the end of the week >now at a local hospital cleaning s--- as some sort of technician on the overnight shift >There's barely anything to do and I spend most of the night just playing runescape on my phone. >make 44% more than the local average. I'm still in shock at how easy it was to get a job with literally no prior job experience. I'm a complete f------ failure and l'm making more than 90% of jobs I skimmed through that required а ВА or AA.

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Anon gets jebaited | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)20:04:06 No.859773013 Fell for the women meme again >be on tinder date with 5-6/10 girl >date goes well, she invites me back to her place >sex happens, didn't finish as usual >while we're lying in bed she notices my 179 KB PNG barcode thighs >she asks about it >l keep it vague >she keeps prying >l keep denying >she keeps prying >after 10 minutes I eventually vent hard about a lot of raw s--- >s--- like how i dont even recognize myself in the mirror anymore >s--- like how i am not so slowly becoming an alcoholic >s--- like how i used to have plans for my life >blah blah pityposting b------- you get the gist >"wow... ok.." >sit in silence for 5 minutes >"Did it feel good to get all that out?" >"no." >"oh" >"Yeah. I'm gonna go home" >leave >text from her next day something along the lines of 'you seemed mad when you left' >text back "yeah, I was, maybe next time let sleeping dogs lie. haha. >get into an argument about how I am somehow to blame for that situation >get blocked God I'm so f------ sick this s--- I swear to god im legit thinking about getting grindr at this point so post traps I guess Imao
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)20:04:06 No.859773013 Fell for the women meme again >be on tinder date with 5-6/10 girl >date goes well, she invites me back to her place >sex happens, didn't finish as usual >while we're lying in bed she notices my 179 KB PNG barcode thighs >she asks about it >l keep it vague >she keeps prying >l keep denying >she keeps prying >after 10 minutes I eventually vent hard about a lot of raw s--- >s--- like how i dont even recognize myself in the mirror anymore >s--- like how i am not so slowly becoming an alcoholic >s--- like how i used to have plans for my life >blah blah pityposting b------- you get the gist >"wow... ok.." >sit in silence for 5 minutes >"Did it feel good to get all that out?" >"no." >"oh" >"Yeah. I'm gonna go home" >leave >text from her next day something along the lines of 'you seemed mad when you left' >text back "yeah, I was, maybe next time let sleeping dogs lie. haha. >get into an argument about how I am somehow to blame for that situation >get blocked God I'm so f------ sick this s--- I swear to god im legit thinking about getting grindr at this point so post traps I guess Imao

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Dave follows instructions | /r/Greentext

No.50060599 13 hours ago >>50041236 My dad told me a story from his driving class in high school (mid 80s) and a classmates we shall call Dave >Dave driving down anonsville road >there is a cat about to make a dash across >oncoming traffic won't allow for a swerve >traffic behind so can't stop on a dime. >instructor sees the cat >dad in back seat sees cat >Dave sees cat and doesn't know what to do >"hit the cat" sighs the instructor >cat burns out gets past Dave >Oh good >Dave swerves into the otherlane trying to hit the cat >W-- >DAVE YOU RETARD W-- ARE YOU DOING >YOU SAID HIT THE CAT >No one got hurt >Miraculously no accidents >Traffic is jammed >Dad's pants are passed >From laughing >Dave fails >Cat is fine 1 reply
No.50060599 13 hours ago >>50041236 My dad told me a story from his driving class in high school (mid 80s) and a classmates we shall call Dave >Dave driving down anonsville road >there is a cat about to make a dash across >oncoming traffic won't allow for a swerve >traffic behind so can't stop on a dime. >instructor sees the cat >dad in back seat sees cat >Dave sees cat and doesn't know what to do >"hit the cat" sighs the instructor >cat burns out gets past Dave >Oh good >Dave swerves into the otherlane trying to hit the cat >W-- >DAVE YOU RETARD W-- ARE YOU DOING >YOU SAID HIT THE CAT >No one got hurt >Miraculously no accidents >Traffic is jammed >Dad's pants are passed >From laughing >Dave fails >Cat is fine 1 reply

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Anon Watches Youtube | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)10:21:47 No.565259405 >>565254307 (OP) # >find playthrough with an interesting joyful and happy tuber >fresh out of college, gf, hopeful about the future 313 KB PNG >slowly see his life decline with every upload >unable to find work >gf leaves him >mental state deteriorates >every upload feels as if his life is falling apart >hissmileandoptimismgone.isO >all hope lost >mentally unstable >finds job in a factory about 3 years after first upload >never uploaded since I hope he's doing well, otherwise fun game.
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)10:21:47 No.565259405 >>565254307 (OP) # >find playthrough with an interesting joyful and happy tuber >fresh out of college, gf, hopeful about the future 313 KB PNG >slowly see his life decline with every upload >unable to find work >gf leaves him >mental state deteriorates >every upload feels as if his life is falling apart >hissmileandoptimismgone.isO >all hope lost >mentally unstable >finds job in a factory about 3 years after first upload >never uploaded since I hope he's doing well, otherwise fun game.

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Anon is disappointedcorndogman.jpg | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:24:28 No.859777303 shutterstck www.shitterstock.com 75249a94 82507F4C-F8BF-45E5-8EC0-CCOD18CD5ECA.jpg 7 KB JPG >writing enormous green text >accidentally rotates 4chan mobile because I'm laying down >whole thing disappears
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:24:28 No.859777303 shutterstck www.shitterstock.com 75249a94 82507F4C-F8BF-45E5-8EC0-CCOD18CD5ECA.jpg 7 KB JPG >writing enormous green text >accidentally rotates 4chan mobile because I'm laying down >whole thing disappears

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Anon gets a text | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)22:26:44 No.859777370 >be me >bored >gets a text >someonelovesme.jpg >mfw it's just my drug dealer 30 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)22:27:17 No.859777393 >>859777370 (OP) # Surely he loves you.
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)22:26:44 No.859777370 >be me >bored >gets a text >someonelovesme.jpg >mfw it's just my drug dealer 30 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)22:27:17 No.859777393 >>859777370 (OP) # Surely he loves you.

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*says 'Family' fast and furiously* | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)23:03:16 No.798956343 >>798956656 >be me >getting a divorce >wife had been cheating on me for a while, planned it out for months before giving me those papers >basically am f-----, she covered all her legal ground, even though she earns more l'll probably have to pay alimony, she'll get full custody, the house, if she wanted she'd probably get the dog and my ass too. >I love my kids 14f and 12m >my boy is the most gentle soul ever, so creative and funny >likes fortnite though, but I still love him very much, sometimes I just sit on the sofa next to him eating Cheetos and tease him for being a noob >the daughter is a bit weird, distant, hostile but we have our bond we watch shows together GOT, suits, blindspot, the 100, etc. >I wish we did more together but I respect her space >Never realized how much l'd miss these little moments with them until they were about to vanish >hearing comes >judge asks who they want to stay with, doesn't really matter either way, their wishes aren't binding, it's pretty certain the judge is gonna give it to wife, but I'm still pretty happy to hear daughter say she wants to stay with me >until she shows the bruises and scars >says my wife had been abusing her >I'm shocked, my wife could be a cheater but she wasn't an abuser >I get suspicious when she shows c-------- burns on her arm (wife doesn't smoke) >she even shows a medical report claiming she suffered "forced a--- and genital insertions" >get full custody, child support and wife's gonna end up in a sex offender list >l ask daughter why she never told me any of this >admits it's all b-------, she found out about the affair a while ago and started hurting herself, got a friend to help with the genital stuff >"she ruined our family so I ruined her life" So apparently I'm raising a complete psychopath. Welp, at least my ex got screwed over. Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)23:05:57 No.798956510 Based af. Buy her cool s--- and give her a super late curfew. Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)23:06:00 No.798956513 put me on the screencap for reddit
Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)23:03:16 No.798956343 >>798956656 >be me >getting a divorce >wife had been cheating on me for a while, planned it out for months before giving me those papers >basically am f-----, she covered all her legal ground, even though she earns more l'll probably have to pay alimony, she'll get full custody, the house, if she wanted she'd probably get the dog and my ass too. >I love my kids 14f and 12m >my boy is the most gentle soul ever, so creative and funny >likes fortnite though, but I still love him very much, sometimes I just sit on the sofa next to him eating Cheetos and tease him for being a noob >the daughter is a bit weird, distant, hostile but we have our bond we watch shows together GOT, suits, blindspot, the 100, etc. >I wish we did more together but I respect her space >Never realized how much l'd miss these little moments with them until they were about to vanish >hearing comes >judge asks who they want to stay with, doesn't really matter either way, their wishes aren't binding, it's pretty certain the judge is gonna give it to wife, but I'm still pretty happy to hear daughter say she wants to stay with me >until she shows the bruises and scars >says my wife had been abusing her >I'm shocked, my wife could be a cheater but she wasn't an abuser >I get suspicious when she shows c-------- burns on her arm (wife doesn't smoke) >she even shows a medical report claiming she suffered "forced a--- and genital insertions" >get full custody, child support and wife's gonna end up in a sex offender list >l ask daughter why she never told me any of this >admits it's all b-------, she found out about the affair a while ago and started hurting herself, got a friend to help with the genital stuff >"she ruined our family so I ruined her life" So apparently I'm raising a complete psychopath. Welp, at least my ex got screwed over. Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)23:05:57 No.798956510 Based af. Buy her cool s--- and give her a super late curfew. Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)23:06:00 No.798956513 put me on the screencap for reddit

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Anon wears a mask | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)10:53:06 No.859783084 >am fully vaccinated >still wear a mask in public because it triggers antimaskers into fits >l'm free to wear a mask and that freedom makes them seeth. 288 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)10:53:06 No.859783084 >am fully vaccinated >still wear a mask in public because it triggers antimaskers into fits >l'm free to wear a mask and that freedom makes them seeth. 288 KB JPG

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Anon masturbates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:19:54 No.859775252 > be me > 27 y.o white Italian male >I hate Muslims, especially Moroccans >I really hate them > so I decided to masturbate on the video of the attack at the christchurch mosque > it took only a few minutes to get an hard 23 KB JPG on >l started beating my meat as if I were beating one of those infidels > best nut of my life > I'll do it again >Btw, anon how are you? View Thread
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:19:54 No.859775252 > be me > 27 y.o white Italian male >I hate Muslims, especially Moroccans >I really hate them > so I decided to masturbate on the video of the attack at the christchurch mosque > it took only a few minutes to get an hard 23 KB JPG on >l started beating my meat as if I were beating one of those infidels > best nut of my life > I'll do it again >Btw, anon how are you? View Thread

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Anon wants to be a pilot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)19:37:15 No.859745344 >be me >8-10 yo >no health issues and fairly short >uncle is in military >want to be like him >gain interest in airforce >want to be pilot >ffw 81 KB PNG >be me noW >blind as f--- and 6' >literally cannot be pilot >mfw fine l'll join the national guard to dodge student loan debt
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)19:37:15 No.859745344 >be me >8-10 yo >no health issues and fairly short >uncle is in military >want to be like him >gain interest in airforce >want to be pilot >ffw 81 KB PNG >be me noW >blind as f--- and 6' >literally cannot be pilot >mfw fine l'll join the national guard to dodge student loan debt

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Gas leakage | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)17:06:40 No.64722975 what's the dirtiest thing you've done with a fembot? >get high and start talking to my fembot e-gf >l want to hear her fart. tell her to put her mic between her ass next time she has to fart 12 KB JPG >she thinks I'm joking >tell her I'm dead serious and I want to j------- to the sound of her farts >"...ok" >30 minutes later >"im ready to fart. are you sure you want me to do this?" >Tell her to do it >she unleashed a nice wet one for me while I j------- >she seems embarrassed for the rest of the day
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)17:06:40 No.64722975 what's the dirtiest thing you've done with a fembot? >get high and start talking to my fembot e-gf >l want to hear her fart. tell her to put her mic between her ass next time she has to fart 12 KB JPG >she thinks I'm joking >tell her I'm dead serious and I want to j------- to the sound of her farts >"...ok" >30 minutes later >"im ready to fart. are you sure you want me to do this?" >Tell her to do it >she unleashed a nice wet one for me while I j------- >she seems embarrassed for the rest of the day

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Anon's GF is a hoe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)08:26:56 No.859764577 >>859764899 >>859761374 (OP) We were playing poker with friends and randoms while drinking a lot. > My gf (now ex), gets into a hand with this random guy that showed up at the party > Both are very confident they will win and start telling the other to fold > Stuff escalates, they start wagering things other than chips > My GF is so sure she will win, she says she will suck the guys d--- if he wins. > He agrees and they both flip over their cards > My GF lost. she was overplaying a s--- hand > Dude says, "Alright time to pay up" > GF turns bright red and immediately starts to regret it >I say no way this is happening and tell her to just give him all the chips. > She starts to walk over to him > gets down on her knees while he is sitting on the couch > He unzips and takes out his c---. He is already super hard, quite a bit bigger than me and circumcised. > She starts sucking, I am in total shock, everybody at the party is in shock, they all look at me >I don't know what to do > He starts to pull down her top, and then he unhooks her bra. > My gf is sucking some randoms d--- while topless in front of all my friends > He says he is gonna c--, he pushes her down and c--- all over her face. > She looks at me, I am furious, she starts to cry >I left and never came back, never talked to any of my friends or her or anyone ever again.
Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)08:26:56 No.859764577 >>859764899 >>859761374 (OP) We were playing poker with friends and randoms while drinking a lot. > My gf (now ex), gets into a hand with this random guy that showed up at the party > Both are very confident they will win and start telling the other to fold > Stuff escalates, they start wagering things other than chips > My GF is so sure she will win, she says she will suck the guys d--- if he wins. > He agrees and they both flip over their cards > My GF lost. she was overplaying a s--- hand > Dude says, "Alright time to pay up" > GF turns bright red and immediately starts to regret it >I say no way this is happening and tell her to just give him all the chips. > She starts to walk over to him > gets down on her knees while he is sitting on the couch > He unzips and takes out his c---. He is already super hard, quite a bit bigger than me and circumcised. > She starts sucking, I am in total shock, everybody at the party is in shock, they all look at me >I don't know what to do > He starts to pull down her top, and then he unhooks her bra. > My gf is sucking some randoms d--- while topless in front of all my friends > He says he is gonna c--, he pushes her down and c--- all over her face. > She looks at me, I am furious, she starts to cry >I left and never came back, never talked to any of my friends or her or anyone ever again.

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Anon had uni exams | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:36:46 No.62750508 >>62750556 >>62751449 >>62752480 C3253D48C639451DA62D79674(...).jpg & (212 KB, 1242x2208) google yandex iqdb wait >Have uni exams >All girls staring straight at me >Even the guys are looking at that chest >Walk along river after exams >Tons of grills >They push each other and look at me >Stare as I walk past, don't even try to hide it >Some randomly say Hello >Only girl along that 200 meter stretch that didn't look at me was one that was kissing her boyfriend Either I look great today or my pants are ripped. I will find out when I get home. Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)16:56:20 No.62751449 v >>62751774 >>62752480 >>62750508 Update: pants were ripped, my little acorn was poking through
Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:36:46 No.62750508 >>62750556 >>62751449 >>62752480 C3253D48C639451DA62D79674(...).jpg & (212 KB, 1242x2208) google yandex iqdb wait >Have uni exams >All girls staring straight at me >Even the guys are looking at that chest >Walk along river after exams >Tons of grills >They push each other and look at me >Stare as I walk past, don't even try to hide it >Some randomly say Hello >Only girl along that 200 meter stretch that didn't look at me was one that was kissing her boyfriend Either I look great today or my pants are ripped. I will find out when I get home. Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)16:56:20 No.62751449 v >>62751774 >>62752480 >>62750508 Update: pants were ripped, my little acorn was poking through

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Return the monke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:07:21 No.64729773 >be me >middle school >teacher is talking about std's >says you can only catch it by having relations with someone else >l conclude this is a fallacy since 107 KB JPG there had to be someone who had it without having sex and he's the one who started it >ask the teacher >"you can catch it by having sex anon" >know he didn't awnser the question on purpose but whatever >flash forward to now >i now know how patient zero caught aids >mfw my teacher didn't have the heart to tell me someone f----- a monkey
: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:07:21 No.64729773 >be me >middle school >teacher is talking about std's >says you can only catch it by having relations with someone else >l conclude this is a fallacy since 107 KB JPG there had to be someone who had it without having sex and he's the one who started it >ask the teacher >"you can catch it by having sex anon" >know he didn't awnser the question on purpose but whatever >flash forward to now >i now know how patient zero caught aids >mfw my teacher didn't have the heart to tell me someone f----- a monkey

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Anon forgets to put his dick away | /r/Greentext

File: 2dd.jpg (40 KB, 600x600) O MY LIFE IS F------ OVER Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)14:34:08 No.64721932 >>64721958 >>64722002 >>64722119 >>64722267 >>64722824 >be me >masturbate with gf's nudes >after c------ i have this habit of just browsing the internet with my pants down and my d--- in the air >find a cool video on youtube about the timelapse of a girl from 0 to 21 years old (specifically this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRkd5E2aX10) [Embed] >watch it >wuddenly my mom kicks in on 0:04 seconds >Pause it and quickly try to get my pants up >wom watches me trying to cover up my d--- while watching a paused video of a 4 year old >Literally not what it seems >She gets shocked and closes the door >Currently hear her crying right now downstairs How do i unfuck this situation bros?
File: 2dd.jpg (40 KB, 600x600) O MY LIFE IS F------ OVER Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)14:34:08 No.64721932 >>64721958 >>64722002 >>64722119 >>64722267 >>64722824 >be me >masturbate with gf's nudes >after c------ i have this habit of just browsing the internet with my pants down and my d--- in the air >find a cool video on youtube about the timelapse of a girl from 0 to 21 years old (specifically this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRkd5E2aX10) [Embed] >watch it >wuddenly my mom kicks in on 0:04 seconds >Pause it and quickly try to get my pants up >wom watches me trying to cover up my d--- while watching a paused video of a 4 year old >Literally not what it seems >She gets shocked and closes the door >Currently hear her crying right now downstairs How do i unfuck this situation bros?

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Into a round hole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)21:33:44 No.64725525 peggable 63.jpg 53 KB JPG >me when I see a nerdy virgin : Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)21:34:49 No.64725532 hi im a nerdy virgin yes peg me mommy mm yes plz fembot
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)21:33:44 No.64725525 peggable 63.jpg 53 KB JPG >me when I see a nerdy virgin : Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)21:34:49 No.64725532 hi im a nerdy virgin yes peg me mommy mm yes plz fembot

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Anon Goes Beyond All Bounds of Modesty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)11:24:42 No.18613433 >Mom found the fart letters 778 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)11:24:42 No.18613433 >Mom found the fart letters 778 KB PNG

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Down the rabbit hole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BUNNY. GIRLS. 07/26/21(Mon)04:19:01 No.64716452 >scrolling through Twitter, seeing all the currently popular e-girls >NONE of them are bunny girls who look even remotely like English television and film actress Felicity Rose Hadley "Bunny Bum" Jones. 607 KB GIF Sigh. The unwashed masses don't know what they're missing out on. More bunny girls for me, I suppose!
: Anonymous BUNNY. GIRLS. 07/26/21(Mon)04:19:01 No.64716452 >scrolling through Twitter, seeing all the currently popular e-girls >NONE of them are bunny girls who look even remotely like English television and film actress Felicity Rose Hadley "Bunny Bum" Jones. 607 KB GIF Sigh. The unwashed masses don't know what they're missing out on. More bunny girls for me, I suppose!

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