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Anon is female | /r/Greentext

File: Standard-properties-of-th(...).png (129 KB, 720x561) What's the point of lifting if you're a female? Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)16:30:03 te >be me >wants to be powerful >wants to be useful >wants to be good leader >wants to be to be strong tw ww.. >wants to be self-sufficient >is born a w*man why did i have to be cursed with this pathetic biology? 77 replies and 15 images omitted. Click here to view.
File: Standard-properties-of-th(...).png (129 KB, 720x561) What's the point of lifting if you're a female? Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)16:30:03 te >be me >wants to be powerful >wants to be useful >wants to be good leader >wants to be to be strong tw ww.. >wants to be self-sufficient >is born a w*man why did i have to be cursed with this pathetic biology? 77 replies and 15 images omitted. Click here to view.

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Anon Gets a Compliment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)18:00:24 No.64598181 >Constantly get told by female customers at work that I look exactly like Ed Sheeran >No idea who that is >Google it >Find out he's a famous musician who is loved by women >F--- yeah 9 KB JPG >Also find out he's ugly as f--- >lf he wasn't famous he'd be a loser like me >F--- this It's like the monkey's paw. "I wish I had the looks of a famous male musician who all the girls love" and I get this.
: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)18:00:24 No.64598181 >Constantly get told by female customers at work that I look exactly like Ed Sheeran >No idea who that is >Google it >Find out he's a famous musician who is loved by women >F--- yeah 9 KB JPG >Also find out he's ugly as f--- >lf he wasn't famous he'd be a loser like me >F--- this It's like the monkey's paw. "I wish I had the looks of a famous male musician who all the girls love" and I get this.

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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)18:57:51 No.859255412 ► > be me > skinny beta noodleboy trying to work out at the gym and be less of a soycuck > not getting results > day after day, I see chads and giga s pumping hundreds of pounds like the bar is made of f------ cardboard > get demoralized > decide to ask the jojo pillarmen looking dudes what their secret is > they suggest all kinds of wild protein powders and supplements >i look them up on google to see w-- i'm supposed to be putting in my body, like, are these secretly roids or something > literally nothing but soy > 100% pure soy > soy f------ everywhere > these dudes have grown to the size of a small pickup truck by eating almost nothing but soy mfw Alex Jones is a lying f-----
O Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)18:57:51 No.859255412 ► > be me > skinny beta noodleboy trying to work out at the gym and be less of a soycuck > not getting results > day after day, I see chads and giga s pumping hundreds of pounds like the bar is made of f------ cardboard > get demoralized > decide to ask the jojo pillarmen looking dudes what their secret is > they suggest all kinds of wild protein powders and supplements >i look them up on google to see w-- i'm supposed to be putting in my body, like, are these secretly roids or something > literally nothing but soy > 100% pure soy > soy f------ everywhere > these dudes have grown to the size of a small pickup truck by eating almost nothing but soy mfw Alex Jones is a lying f-----

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Anon is having a PTSD attack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)16:18:55 No.64629801 >Be straight male >Cocklust is coming back F---, how do I make this stop? 27 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)16:18:55 No.64629801 >Be straight male >Cocklust is coming back F---, how do I make this stop? 27 KB JPG

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Anon flashes his co-workers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)19:09:41 No.64536989 >new guy a tech firm >in online company meeting >meeting is useless and boring as f--- so just coding during it with my mic and camera turned off >urge to take a piss >can't be bothered to go to toilet >drink the rest of my water bottle, put out my c-------- and start pissing in the bottle 265 KB PNG >sit back down >10 minutes later check the meeting >realise my camera was on the entire time I'm trying to figure out now whether my d--- would've been visible on camera for 200+ people to see while pissing in the bottle If so, then I am literally going to kill myself, I can't live with this shame. This is my first job and just spent 20,00GBP on clothes, a new car and a mortgage etc etc, I have almost no savings : Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)19:11:18 No.64537004 >>64536989 (OP) # 20k GBP* so like 25-30KUSD for burgerlanders >>64537089 #
: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)19:09:41 No.64536989 >new guy a tech firm >in online company meeting >meeting is useless and boring as f--- so just coding during it with my mic and camera turned off >urge to take a piss >can't be bothered to go to toilet >drink the rest of my water bottle, put out my c-------- and start pissing in the bottle 265 KB PNG >sit back down >10 minutes later check the meeting >realise my camera was on the entire time I'm trying to figure out now whether my d--- would've been visible on camera for 200+ people to see while pissing in the bottle If so, then I am literally going to kill myself, I can't live with this shame. This is my first job and just spent 20,00GBP on clothes, a new car and a mortgage etc etc, I have almost no savings : Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)19:11:18 No.64537004 >>64536989 (OP) # 20k GBP* so like 25-30KUSD for burgerlanders >>64537089 #

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Anon lives an interesting life | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)08:58:43 No.64483142 >be introverted male >automatically lose at life col 51 KB JPG
| Anonymous 07/08/21(Thu)08:58:43 No.64483142 >be introverted male >automatically lose at life col 51 KB JPG

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Enlighted anon | /r/Greentext

File: ZB19gbmd5x-4.png (19 KB, 300x250) O Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)14:18:17 No.859280144 > Be me > Be Pirate > Pirating movies since childhood > Finally decide to buy a Netflix subscription > starts using it feels no difference > mfw i realize i am paying for that skip intro button.
File: ZB19gbmd5x-4.png (19 KB, 300x250) O Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)14:18:17 No.859280144 > Be me > Be Pirate > Pirating movies since childhood > Finally decide to buy a Netflix subscription > starts using it feels no difference > mfw i realize i am paying for that skip intro button.

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Anon moved to Japan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)23:33:34 No.859289721 >be me >watching lots of anime because quarantine >decided that I want to live in Japan >ffw 10 years >finally move to Japan 14 KB JPG >have shower >looking in mirror >all I see is blurred pixels between my legs >mfw Japan is literally China when it comes to censorship
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)23:33:34 No.859289721 >be me >watching lots of anime because quarantine >decided that I want to live in Japan >ffw 10 years >finally move to Japan 14 KB JPG >have shower >looking in mirror >all I see is blurred pixels between my legs >mfw Japan is literally China when it comes to censorship

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Anon will do anything for his best broo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)01:08:51 No.48912327 >be me >like this girl >make it instantly known to best bro >realize a couple days later that he has liked for longer than I >realize he would is giving the 8 KB JPG shot to me >days to by, girl makes move on best bro >he looks to me >l give him the go >hurts, but I know my best bro will be happy did I do good?
: Anonymous 10/26/18(Fri)01:08:51 No.48912327 >be me >like this girl >make it instantly known to best bro >realize a couple days later that he has liked for longer than I >realize he would is giving the 8 KB JPG shot to me >days to by, girl makes move on best bro >he looks to me >l give him the go >hurts, but I know my best bro will be happy did I do good?

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Anon reconnects with his crush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)13:26:45 No.859285379 >Graduated high school 6 years ago >Haven't spoken to my high school crush since BORN TO COO0OM >Check her Instagram every day >She has it on private and I can't see anything >Check today >lt's set to public 109 KB JPG >Screenshot every photo >Check back a couple hours later >It's set back to private mfw I can bust to her photos again Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)13:28:02 No 859285423
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)13:26:45 No.859285379 >Graduated high school 6 years ago >Haven't spoken to my high school crush since BORN TO COO0OM >Check her Instagram every day >She has it on private and I can't see anything >Check today >lt's set to public 109 KB JPG >Screenshot every photo >Check back a couple hours later >It's set back to private mfw I can bust to her photos again Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)13:28:02 No 859285423

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Anon is not a khv | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)09:31:49 No.64627249 >32 >never had sex >coomed over 15,000 loads since I started at age 14 Can you really call me a virgin? There's nothing 'pure' about me, and I've seen more (pictures and videos of) vaginas than anyone. 65 KB PNG 25 Replies / 11 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)09:31:49 No.64627249 >32 >never had sex >coomed over 15,000 loads since I started at age 14 Can you really call me a virgin? There's nothing 'pure' about me, and I've seen more (pictures and videos of) vaginas than anyone. 65 KB PNG 25 Replies / 11 Images View Thread

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Anon feels important | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What's some autistic stuff you...) 07/19/21(Mon)06:44:33 No.64626471 What autistic stuff do you do to feel a little important/like you matter? I'll start >Be me >Be in geology class >Sitting in front, taking notes, trying to 735 KB PNG ignore loud retards behind me >Teacher starts to talk about rivers >Talks about how rivers slowly carve through ground over thousands of years >Shape of these rivers determined by ground and rocks and stuff that determine where the water goes >Get idea >After a few days go with hike with my mom >We end up by a river >Move around some of the big rocks into the river, out of the river, whatever just move around the rocks >l just changed the trajectory of the river by moving some rocks >Maybe by only a little bit but I just changed something forever >Feel a little important >Do this for almost every river I come across >Feel a little important every time It probably doesn't even change anything but it feels nice to think I changed something for a little while. You guys do anything? : Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)06:45:24 No.64626477 thats pretty cute OP
: Anonymous What's some autistic stuff you...) 07/19/21(Mon)06:44:33 No.64626471 What autistic stuff do you do to feel a little important/like you matter? I'll start >Be me >Be in geology class >Sitting in front, taking notes, trying to 735 KB PNG ignore loud retards behind me >Teacher starts to talk about rivers >Talks about how rivers slowly carve through ground over thousands of years >Shape of these rivers determined by ground and rocks and stuff that determine where the water goes >Get idea >After a few days go with hike with my mom >We end up by a river >Move around some of the big rocks into the river, out of the river, whatever just move around the rocks >l just changed the trajectory of the river by moving some rocks >Maybe by only a little bit but I just changed something forever >Feel a little important >Do this for almost every river I come across >Feel a little important every time It probably doesn't even change anything but it feels nice to think I changed something for a little while. You guys do anything? : Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)06:45:24 No.64626477 thats pretty cute OP

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Anon eats Chuck E Cheese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)22:35:56 No.64625321 > see crazy 90's chuck e cheese commercials on tv as a 7 year old CHUCKECHEESE. CHUCKE.CHEESE. PEPPERONI PIZZA CHEESE PIZZA > beg my mom to go > she doesn't wanna go >"maybe next weekend honey" >ask a few more times but give up >tell my mom when I'm 12 that we 154 KB JPG never got to go to chuck e cheese >she looks sad and says "we can go now if you want" >it's okay i'm too old now >fast foward 20 years >in 30's no kids, probably won't ever have any >see pic related in the store >buy the cheese version >the sauce isn't very good >the cheese is okay >the crust is very good for frozen pizza, crispy and nice >finally got to have my chuck e cheese
: Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)22:35:56 No.64625321 > see crazy 90's chuck e cheese commercials on tv as a 7 year old CHUCKECHEESE. CHUCKE.CHEESE. PEPPERONI PIZZA CHEESE PIZZA > beg my mom to go > she doesn't wanna go >"maybe next weekend honey" >ask a few more times but give up >tell my mom when I'm 12 that we 154 KB JPG never got to go to chuck e cheese >she looks sad and says "we can go now if you want" >it's okay i'm too old now >fast foward 20 years >in 30's no kids, probably won't ever have any >see pic related in the store >buy the cheese version >the sauce isn't very good >the cheese is okay >the crust is very good for frozen pizza, crispy and nice >finally got to have my chuck e cheese

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Anon has made it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous finally bros 07/19/21(Mon)14:21:39 No.64629058 >be me >be depressed coomer and khv >come back to my hometown >my friend invites one girl over >shes maybe a 7/10 maybe an 8 depending on the day >she asks if im there and says shes 268 KB PNG coming straight away >she gets there >all over me and when i go home we talk alot about deep s--- >she says she really likes me and i tell her that i like her too >shes coming over tomorrow and asked me if im a virgin >possible sex i decided that depression is cringe gods smiling upon us today robots
: Anonymous finally bros 07/19/21(Mon)14:21:39 No.64629058 >be me >be depressed coomer and khv >come back to my hometown >my friend invites one girl over >shes maybe a 7/10 maybe an 8 depending on the day >she asks if im there and says shes 268 KB PNG coming straight away >she gets there >all over me and when i go home we talk alot about deep s--- >she says she really likes me and i tell her that i like her too >shes coming over tomorrow and asked me if im a virgin >possible sex i decided that depression is cringe gods smiling upon us today robots

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Anon is a pro gamer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)11:53:53 No.859274495 >859261675 (OP) # >be me >rank 3 tetris player in texas >play for a few hours a day >gf doesnt like me spending that much time on tetris >i apologize, we talk things out >we end up having sex >tell her i want to try prone bone >only reason is so i can play tetris behind her back while f------ her like a boss >>859274522 # : Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)11:54:46 No.859274522 >>859274495 # I... believe you anon. I can get behind a /b/'er being more focused on tetris than sex, even without being rank3.
: Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)11:53:53 No.859274495 >859261675 (OP) # >be me >rank 3 tetris player in texas >play for a few hours a day >gf doesnt like me spending that much time on tetris >i apologize, we talk things out >we end up having sex >tell her i want to try prone bone >only reason is so i can play tetris behind her back while f------ her like a boss >>859274522 # : Anonymous 07/19/21(Mon)11:54:46 No.859274522 >>859274495 # I... believe you anon. I can get behind a /b/'er being more focused on tetris than sex, even without being rank3.

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Anon plays games | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)22:14:20 No.859272342 Hello fellow chads >be me >gamerfag >all I want to do is play games >streamer on the side, got up to 15k followers at one point 5 KB PNG >all I want to do is stream on consistent schedule >life gets in the way >have gf >living together >constantnagging.jpg >'clean this, do that >l'd leave her if she didn't pay for weed / cook food >literally can never find time to game unless she's asleep late asf or drunk doing her own thing >all I want to do is game What do bros
: Anonymous 07/18/21(Sun)22:14:20 No.859272342 Hello fellow chads >be me >gamerfag >all I want to do is play games >streamer on the side, got up to 15k followers at one point 5 KB PNG >all I want to do is stream on consistent schedule >life gets in the way >have gf >living together >constantnagging.jpg >'clean this, do that >l'd leave her if she didn't pay for weed / cook food >literally can never find time to game unless she's asleep late asf or drunk doing her own thing >all I want to do is game What do bros

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Anon makes money | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:22:47 No.849732160 >be me >get bored >order a pizza >pretend to be a pizza delivery guy >deliver pizzas to random people >hope to find a qt girl who lives alone and who likes pizza 154 KB PNG >thats all i need >eventually run into a few >p--- lied to me, whatever >around 70% of people actually decide to pay me for my pizza >others say they didnt order it >no loss >i guess people want pizzas some people just dont order them >idea.jpg >a pizza is 4 dollars at the store, ill sell it for 6 >buy 20 pizzas >sell all of them to random people pretending to be a delivery guy >40 dollar profit for selling 20 pizzas >do this when i need extra money
: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:22:47 No.849732160 >be me >get bored >order a pizza >pretend to be a pizza delivery guy >deliver pizzas to random people >hope to find a qt girl who lives alone and who likes pizza 154 KB PNG >thats all i need >eventually run into a few >p--- lied to me, whatever >around 70% of people actually decide to pay me for my pizza >others say they didnt order it >no loss >i guess people want pizzas some people just dont order them >idea.jpg >a pizza is 4 dollars at the store, ill sell it for 6 >buy 20 pizzas >sell all of them to random people pretending to be a delivery guy >40 dollar profit for selling 20 pizzas >do this when i need extra money

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Anon tries to draw | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ah this s--- again 07/18/21(Sun)07:51:52 No.5518470 >softly sketches the eyes on paper >looks ok >finishes the eyes >rabbit of asymmetry enters the chat >one eye looks bigger, lower, smaller, etc than the other eye >ok sure, I will softly erase the asymmetrical eye and try again, gently 41 KB JPG marking the paper >thing still looks like s--- >? >re erase and mark again >still asymmetrical >redoes the other one >a mess is happening >panik >re erases and tries again >can't try anymore since paper is worn out from many tries >FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU >swallows the paper out of anger Seriously, why does making the eyes on paper is such an ordeal? Is there a way to learn how to properly draw the m------------ eyes without f------ it up?
: Anonymous Ah this s--- again 07/18/21(Sun)07:51:52 No.5518470 >softly sketches the eyes on paper >looks ok >finishes the eyes >rabbit of asymmetry enters the chat >one eye looks bigger, lower, smaller, etc than the other eye >ok sure, I will softly erase the asymmetrical eye and try again, gently 41 KB JPG marking the paper >thing still looks like s--- >? >re erase and mark again >still asymmetrical >redoes the other one >a mess is happening >panik >re erases and tries again >can't try anymore since paper is worn out from many tries >FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU >swallows the paper out of anger Seriously, why does making the eyes on paper is such an ordeal? Is there a way to learn how to properly draw the m------------ eyes without f------ it up?

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Anon thinks | /r/Greentext

I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF THINKING LATELY, 1625168661842.jpg 17 KB JPG >read Plato >suddenly get hidden messages from the platonic forms, shapes and colors >the circle is simple, the line is emotional, triangles smart, squares ethical, and stars are happy, >green is annoyed, yellow is giddy, blue is calm, red protects them i think i may be developing schizophrenia
I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF THINKING LATELY, 1625168661842.jpg 17 KB JPG >read Plato >suddenly get hidden messages from the platonic forms, shapes and colors >the circle is simple, the line is emotional, triangles smart, squares ethical, and stars are happy, >green is annoyed, yellow is giddy, blue is calm, red protects them i think i may be developing schizophrenia

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Anon goes to Japan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/18/19(Wed)13:11:07 No.110103577 >be me >went to Japan for vacation >has a very close online j-- friend that I met when I was loitering around a guitar hero group 1.77 MB WEBM >we decided to meet up >thought he's a guy >short haired qt 9/10 appeared. Her name is Nao >even though it's the first time meeting her irl, we hit off pretty well >Nao talks to me about pretending to be a guy online >she wanted to talk with someone about rock but she thinks people online wouldn't take her seriously because she's a girl >she apologized >"apology accepted but on one condition." >says I wanna play guitar hero with you >she laughed and agreed >nicesmile.jpeg >went to her apartment >she hurriedly opened her ps4 and accessed guitar hero >pretty high level >plays >mfw she lost >mfw she turned off the game and started sulking >started motivating her >hey nao, you're a rockstar. get your game on, go, play >>110103604 # >>110103632 # >>110103676 # >>110103678 # >>110103726 # >>110103730 #
: Anonymous 09/18/19(Wed)13:11:07 No.110103577 >be me >went to Japan for vacation >has a very close online j-- friend that I met when I was loitering around a guitar hero group 1.77 MB WEBM >we decided to meet up >thought he's a guy >short haired qt 9/10 appeared. Her name is Nao >even though it's the first time meeting her irl, we hit off pretty well >Nao talks to me about pretending to be a guy online >she wanted to talk with someone about rock but she thinks people online wouldn't take her seriously because she's a girl >she apologized >"apology accepted but on one condition." >says I wanna play guitar hero with you >she laughed and agreed >nicesmile.jpeg >went to her apartment >she hurriedly opened her ps4 and accessed guitar hero >pretty high level >plays >mfw she lost >mfw she turned off the game and started sulking >started motivating her >hey nao, you're a rockstar. get your game on, go, play >>110103604 # >>110103632 # >>110103676 # >>110103678 # >>110103726 # >>110103730 #

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