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Anon used uno reverse card | /r/Greentext

>girl trying to monkeybranch me >uses me for emotional satisfaction >improove, /fit/ and career wise >actively manage 3 side hoes >now use her for emotional satisfaction myself >mfw I feel better than I would in an actual relationship >mfw she knows this and it makes her seethe because her bf is retarded and can't leave him So did I win in the end?
>girl trying to monkeybranch me >uses me for emotional satisfaction >improove, /fit/ and career wise >actively manage 3 side hoes >now use her for emotional satisfaction myself >mfw I feel better than I would in an actual relationship >mfw she knows this and it makes her seethe because her bf is retarded and can't leave him So did I win in the end?

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Anon has a near-death experience | /r/Greentext

HNNNGG #1, No. 73363230 2 hours ago HisaoHeartattack JPG 311x201 32.6 kB >j------- >in the middle >heart suddenly feels weak >heart beats feel inconsistent and weird >try to finish off fast to get it over with >it actually worsens >deed is done >feel like I almost died H--------, what the f--- was that? I really need to start doing some cardio. I'm not even fat.
HNNNGG #1, No. 73363230 2 hours ago HisaoHeartattack JPG 311x201 32.6 kB >j------- >in the middle >heart suddenly feels weak >heart beats feel inconsistent and weird >try to finish off fast to get it over with >it actually worsens >deed is done >feel like I almost died H--------, what the f--- was that? I really need to start doing some cardio. I'm not even fat.

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a core memory | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: mzUv7h50) 05/18/23(Thu)13:28:29 No.427433820 756908564.gif 1.48 MB GIF >Last time a girl touched me was 8 years ago. >She complimented me on my eyes and drove her hand through my hair because she liked how full it was >Then another time when we met we greeted each other and she just kissed me on the mouth >Then she moved to some far away city and the contact broke off.
Anonymous (ID: mzUv7h50) 05/18/23(Thu)13:28:29 No.427433820 756908564.gif 1.48 MB GIF >Last time a girl touched me was 8 years ago. >She complimented me on my eyes and drove her hand through my hair because she liked how full it was >Then another time when we met we greeted each other and she just kissed me on the mouth >Then she moved to some far away city and the contact broke off.

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Einstein’s sick rhymin’ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/18/23(Thu)01:21:39 No.184930654 oppenheimer_albert_einstein_1920.jpg 160 KB JPG >i thought it was e=mc squared... when really, i should have e=mc cared >>184930761 # >>184931212 # >>184938053 # >>184938916 # >>184946679 # >>184948546 # >>184949511 # >>184950803 # >>184955534 # >>184957989 # >>184960572 #
Anonymous 05/18/23(Thu)01:21:39 No.184930654 oppenheimer_albert_einstein_1920.jpg 160 KB JPG >i thought it was e=mc squared... when really, i should have e=mc cared >>184930761 # >>184931212 # >>184938053 # >>184938916 # >>184946679 # >>184948546 # >>184949511 # >>184950803 # >>184955534 # >>184957989 # >>184960572 #

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Anon doesn’t like koolaid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/18/23(Thu)10:05:22 No.899469359 I put my d--- in crazy >sex on 2nd date at hers >after sex, talking about kinks >she asks if I like period sex >tell her I don't have sex when women are on period >she gets offended makes a big deal out of it asks me if I find women gross >try to calm her down and tell her I just don't feel comfortable with it >she tells me to leave >next morning 10 minutes ago >she sends me a long ass essay text that I manipulated her and she feels violated for not being honest about who I am before we had sex and that she wants to meet and talk through what happened last night what am I dealing with here /b/? she's asking to meet this weekend, what is your advice? 10 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/18/23(Thu)10:05:22 No.899469359 I put my d--- in crazy >sex on 2nd date at hers >after sex, talking about kinks >she asks if I like period sex >tell her I don't have sex when women are on period >she gets offended makes a big deal out of it asks me if I find women gross >try to calm her down and tell her I just don't feel comfortable with it >she tells me to leave >next morning 10 minutes ago >she sends me a long ass essay text that I manipulated her and she feels violated for not being honest about who I am before we had sex and that she wants to meet and talk through what happened last night what am I dealing with here /b/? she's asking to meet this weekend, what is your advice? 10 KB JPG

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Anon figures out Marvel's writing tricks | /r/Greentext

FwYZU0OXwAAMsZG.jpg 153 KB JPG >Thanos strangled Loki >To up the threat for Phase 5 Kang strangled a woman irl
FwYZU0OXwAAMsZG.jpg 153 KB JPG >Thanos strangled Loki >To up the threat for Phase 5 Kang strangled a woman irl

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Anon hates Hiroyuki | /r/Greentext

File: 48D16AC0-0A55-4DC4-8364-3(...).jpg (59 KB, 554x599) Anonymous 05/17/23(Wed)12:44:52 No.73351853 does hiro have an actual form of retardation? >>73351870 >>73351990 >>73351995 >>73352091 >hire the most incompetent retards for jannies who dont care about anything but banning people for making threads they dont like basically banning half their userbase for no reason >do nothing about every single board being p--- spam they just remove everything else >no wants to advertise in this s--- hole >ruined basically every board he could >make a bunch of useless video game boards but wont make any good boards >ruined r9i but lets all the zoomers use it as social media and their p--- collection i just cant believe how much he ruined this site since he got his grubby chink hands on it. its like he either doesnt give a f--- its a money pit or wants to ruin it on purpose. if you post anything but p--- or the same 2 threads you just get banned by retarded jannies with zero oversight. Anonymous 05/17/23(Wed)12:46:13 No.73351870 ► >>73351901 >>73351853 (OP) I make lots of dumb threads without getting banned. Maybe you're just stupid !
File: 48D16AC0-0A55-4DC4-8364-3(...).jpg (59 KB, 554x599) Anonymous 05/17/23(Wed)12:44:52 No.73351853 does hiro have an actual form of retardation? >>73351870 >>73351990 >>73351995 >>73352091 >hire the most incompetent retards for jannies who dont care about anything but banning people for making threads they dont like basically banning half their userbase for no reason >do nothing about every single board being p--- spam they just remove everything else >no wants to advertise in this s--- hole >ruined basically every board he could >make a bunch of useless video game boards but wont make any good boards >ruined r9i but lets all the zoomers use it as social media and their p--- collection i just cant believe how much he ruined this site since he got his grubby chink hands on it. its like he either doesnt give a f--- its a money pit or wants to ruin it on purpose. if you post anything but p--- or the same 2 threads you just get banned by retarded jannies with zero oversight. Anonymous 05/17/23(Wed)12:46:13 No.73351870 ► >>73351901 >>73351853 (OP) I make lots of dumb threads without getting banned. Maybe you're just stupid !

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Endurance Running Diff

Possum Reviews @ReviewsPossum > Be deer. > F------up looking ape wearing skin of another deer comes running up, holding a pointy stick. > Run away. > Ape is slow so I can outrun him easily. > Ape comes running up again. > Run away again. > Getting tired. > Ape comes up again, no sign of getting tired. > S---. : 8:58 PM - May 17, 2023 103.4K Views
Possum Reviews @ReviewsPossum > Be deer. > F------up looking ape wearing skin of another deer comes running up, holding a pointy stick. > Run away. > Ape is slow so I can outrun him easily. > Ape comes running up again. > Run away again. > Getting tired. > Ape comes up again, no sign of getting tired. > S---. : 8:58 PM - May 17, 2023 103.4K Views

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endurance running hunting deer

Russianon and Peter hunting | /r/Greentext

>>26500961 >Pietr and i were hanging out in his apartment one night, sharing stories and drinking >sat out on his small balcony, and smoked when we got a call from the police station >there had been strange sightings of a large animal (presumably a bear) roaming the area >some locals were pretty spooked, and had reported it to the police >of course it fell under our jurisdiction >we decided that we would check it out in the morning >we didn't feel like chasing some large unidentified creature, while we were half-drunk and the sun had gone down >sit for a few more minutes, just chatting when a deafening screech echoed out from beyond the treeline >We were silent for a couple of minutes >"f--- me, that was loud" Pietr said >no s---, jackass >we decide to check it out >operation half-drunk russians packing heat commenced >we wandered around aimlessly, randomly pointing our flashlights and rifles around in the dark >"you've got to be F------ kidding me" Pietr shouted out >he had found large cloven footprints >"don't tell me this is another f------ deer i swear to god" >he sounded both angry and scared shitless >*rustling behind us* >we both instantly turn, and aim at the sound >two glowing eyes reflect our flashlights >it lets out a loud f------ squeel, and charges at us >we both light it the f--- up, while we s--- our pants >it's a boar >a f------ boar >but it was so f------ big, that we initially thought it was a bear >pic related is eerily similar to the bastard we shot >"at least it wasn't a f------ deer" i said >Pietr let out a nervous laugh, and shook his head in awe of the f------ beast lying before us >honestly didn't know what to do with it >we hadn't brought our ATV's, and the thing was way too heavy to carry >decided to just leave it, for the wolves to scavenge >police actually believed us this time >"some of the hogs out there can grow to enormous sizes - you're lucky it didn't get you" >another thing to worry about - f------ great
>>26500961 >Pietr and i were hanging out in his apartment one night, sharing stories and drinking >sat out on his small balcony, and smoked when we got a call from the police station >there had been strange sightings of a large animal (presumably a bear) roaming the area >some locals were pretty spooked, and had reported it to the police >of course it fell under our jurisdiction >we decided that we would check it out in the morning >we didn't feel like chasing some large unidentified creature, while we were half-drunk and the sun had gone down >sit for a few more minutes, just chatting when a deafening screech echoed out from beyond the treeline >We were silent for a couple of minutes >"f--- me, that was loud" Pietr said >no s---, jackass >we decide to check it out >operation half-drunk russians packing heat commenced >we wandered around aimlessly, randomly pointing our flashlights and rifles around in the dark >"you've got to be F------ kidding me" Pietr shouted out >he had found large cloven footprints >"don't tell me this is another f------ deer i swear to god" >he sounded both angry and scared shitless >*rustling behind us* >we both instantly turn, and aim at the sound >two glowing eyes reflect our flashlights >it lets out a loud f------ squeel, and charges at us >we both light it the f--- up, while we s--- our pants >it's a boar >a f------ boar >but it was so f------ big, that we initially thought it was a bear >pic related is eerily similar to the bastard we shot >"at least it wasn't a f------ deer" i said >Pietr let out a nervous laugh, and shook his head in awe of the f------ beast lying before us >honestly didn't know what to do with it >we hadn't brought our ATV's, and the thing was way too heavy to carry >decided to just leave it, for the wolves to scavenge >police actually believed us this time >"some of the hogs out there can grow to enormous sizes - you're lucky it didn't get you" >another thing to worry about - f------ great

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Anon got midget porn banned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I got m----- p--- banned 05/17/23(Wed) 23:36:19 No.899433631 Story time /b/ois >be in NSFW Discord server where you share p--- >admins announce they are adding a bot that scans p--- for underage >idea >start uploading m----- p--- as fast as I can >most images/videos get flagged and need to be reviwed by staff but then are allowed >i convince other members to do the same thru DMs >even make our own Discord >2 days later admins announce the bot was "just a test" and they will be removing it >mission accomplished ff abt 2 weeks 16 KB JPG >they decide to try using the bot again >second Discord server "@everyone the bot is back, you know what to do" >loads of m----- p--- >not as many flagged this time but still hilarious, so many pics flagged >by this time staff knew we were screwing with them >new rule, basically says no more m----- p--- mfw I got m----- p--- banned
: Anonymous I got m----- p--- banned 05/17/23(Wed) 23:36:19 No.899433631 Story time /b/ois >be in NSFW Discord server where you share p--- >admins announce they are adding a bot that scans p--- for underage >idea >start uploading m----- p--- as fast as I can >most images/videos get flagged and need to be reviwed by staff but then are allowed >i convince other members to do the same thru DMs >even make our own Discord >2 days later admins announce the bot was "just a test" and they will be removing it >mission accomplished ff abt 2 weeks 16 KB JPG >they decide to try using the bot again >second Discord server "@everyone the bot is back, you know what to do" >loads of m----- p--- >not as many flagged this time but still hilarious, so many pics flagged >by this time staff knew we were screwing with them >new rule, basically says no more m----- p--- mfw I got m----- p--- banned

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Anon has no rizz | /r/Greentext

File: 882A5BB4-C5FA-45CB-986B-A(...).png (598 KB, 1276x900) Why are foids like this Anonymous 05/17/23(Wed)06:21:01 No.73349085 ► >>73349092 >>73349095 >>73349112 >>73349126 >>73349207 >>73349571 >>73351808 >>73351915 >>73351947 >>73352068 >match with gorgeous foid, 9/10, on monday >she messages me at 5pm monday, we talk and the last text is mine >she messages me at 5pm tuesday, we talk and the last text is mine >today is wednesday >8pm >she still hasn't messaged me Why the f--- are foids like this? Why bother matching with someone and talking to them over the course of two days if you're just going to ghost anyways? Anonymous 05/17/23(Wed)06:22:38 No.73349092 >>73349085 (OP) did you guys make plans? texting is for making plans, so you can get to know her in person ask her to get coffee/movies/whatever hobby she enjoys and do it asap, stop playing around >>73349108
File: 882A5BB4-C5FA-45CB-986B-A(...).png (598 KB, 1276x900) Why are foids like this Anonymous 05/17/23(Wed)06:21:01 No.73349085 ► >>73349092 >>73349095 >>73349112 >>73349126 >>73349207 >>73349571 >>73351808 >>73351915 >>73351947 >>73352068 >match with gorgeous foid, 9/10, on monday >she messages me at 5pm monday, we talk and the last text is mine >she messages me at 5pm tuesday, we talk and the last text is mine >today is wednesday >8pm >she still hasn't messaged me Why the f--- are foids like this? Why bother matching with someone and talking to them over the course of two days if you're just going to ghost anyways? Anonymous 05/17/23(Wed)06:22:38 No.73349092 >>73349085 (OP) did you guys make plans? texting is for making plans, so you can get to know her in person ask her to get coffee/movies/whatever hobby she enjoys and do it asap, stop playing around >>73349108

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Anon is worried | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No. 51230182 (8 h) JPG 94.60 KB Hi guys, I was cooking last night, making some chicken breasts. I had spilled some soda on my pants, so I was cooking without pants on. I was moving some trays around and I accidentally dropped a chicken breast on the floor. But it hit my penis before it hit the floor. Is it possible I got salmonella poisoning? Anonymous No. 51230183 (8 h) You f----- those chicken breasts didn't you? Anonymous No. 51230188 (8 h) You f----- the raw chicken, didn't you? Anonymous No. 51230192 (8 h) you did
Anonymous No. 51230182 (8 h) JPG 94.60 KB Hi guys, I was cooking last night, making some chicken breasts. I had spilled some soda on my pants, so I was cooking without pants on. I was moving some trays around and I accidentally dropped a chicken breast on the floor. But it hit my penis before it hit the floor. Is it possible I got salmonella poisoning? Anonymous No. 51230183 (8 h) You f----- those chicken breasts didn't you? Anonymous No. 51230188 (8 h) You f----- the raw chicken, didn't you? Anonymous No. 51230192 (8 h) you did

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Anon isn't hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/22(Fri)18:04:27 No.66943489 14123141.jpg 46 KB JPG >supper is ready, anon >what do you mean, you're "cutting"?
: Anonymous 05/27/22(Fri)18:04:27 No.66943489 14123141.jpg 46 KB JPG >supper is ready, anon >what do you mean, you're "cutting"?

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Anon hits the dab | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/23(Thu)10:48:45 No.899461419 >Be me, in my schooldays >Was known as an autist even back then so wasn't very social >One day I see a roastie crying on the top of the staircase >Probably crying about some lane drama with chad or whatever >While she wasn't one of the main female bullies, she was complicit and still a member of the group of Stacey's >Probably comparable to Goebbels role in the Nazi party as opposed to Hitler or Mengele for example >Despite this, I wasn't going to pass this opportunity up to rub salt in her wounds as she's crying >"Up high" I offer a high five >Typically, in this charade, you'd do the "to the side", "down low" act before humiliating them >Here, just to be unpredictable, I switched things up >She meekly reaches while still crying >"Uh Oh! Too slow" Instead moving away my hand in the first one 362 KB PNG >Just as I'm moving my hand away, I execute the most flawless dab, totally improvised as well >She looks speechless and in shock as I backwards walk down the stairs >As the piece de resistance, once I get to the bottom of the staircase and she's still watching me, I hit her with a "Take the L" Despite this happening circa 2017, I still think this was perhaps my greatest triumph and a bonafide day to remember
: Anonymous 05/18/23(Thu)10:48:45 No.899461419 >Be me, in my schooldays >Was known as an autist even back then so wasn't very social >One day I see a roastie crying on the top of the staircase >Probably crying about some lane drama with chad or whatever >While she wasn't one of the main female bullies, she was complicit and still a member of the group of Stacey's >Probably comparable to Goebbels role in the Nazi party as opposed to Hitler or Mengele for example >Despite this, I wasn't going to pass this opportunity up to rub salt in her wounds as she's crying >"Up high" I offer a high five >Typically, in this charade, you'd do the "to the side", "down low" act before humiliating them >Here, just to be unpredictable, I switched things up >She meekly reaches while still crying >"Uh Oh! Too slow" Instead moving away my hand in the first one 362 KB PNG >Just as I'm moving my hand away, I execute the most flawless dab, totally improvised as well >She looks speechless and in shock as I backwards walk down the stairs >As the piece de resistance, once I get to the bottom of the staircase and she's still watching me, I hit her with a "Take the L" Despite this happening circa 2017, I still think this was perhaps my greatest triumph and a bonafide day to remember

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Anon knows how to do a test | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 86Cv+14z ) 38 KB JPG Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test for testicular cancer and can show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot
Anonymous (ID: 86Cv+14z ) 38 KB JPG Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test for testicular cancer and can show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot

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Anon wants to fix communism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: xbR0hJfw ...WITH JEWS You LOSE! 73 KB JPG 05/17/23 (Wed)19:50:27 No.427364590 Communism is unironically based if Tankies just realized that the enemy that never made communism work is in their ranks: JEWS! >because of Jewish greed for power and riches a classless society cant exist >Jews are genetic capitalists and no matter how much they scream for support they will always undermine the revolution >Jews spread corruption >Jews only care about other Jews >Jews spread illnesses I know the only way to fix communism and its getting rid of Jews
: Anonymous (ID: xbR0hJfw ...WITH JEWS You LOSE! 73 KB JPG 05/17/23 (Wed)19:50:27 No.427364590 Communism is unironically based if Tankies just realized that the enemy that never made communism work is in their ranks: JEWS! >because of Jewish greed for power and riches a classless society cant exist >Jews are genetic capitalists and no matter how much they scream for support they will always undermine the revolution >Jews spread corruption >Jews only care about other Jews >Jews spread illnesses I know the only way to fix communism and its getting rid of Jews

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god. that. plot. twist(s). otherwise pretty unfunny | /r/Greentext

☐/b/ why didnt it work Anonymous 05/17/23 (Wed)17:50:25 No.899423605 [Reply] >be me >in a middle school >see cute girl in my class >okay anon. you've trained for this moment for years. do *not* f--- this up >"heyyy" >"....uhm hello?" >i have been practicing the perfect pickup line for weeks, just for this moment >okay here i go >"am i ur uncle? cuz i wanna rail the s--- out of you" >"anon what the f---" >reports me to the school >gets fired from teaching job why didnt it work?
☐/b/ why didnt it work Anonymous 05/17/23 (Wed)17:50:25 No.899423605 [Reply] >be me >in a middle school >see cute girl in my class >okay anon. you've trained for this moment for years. do *not* f--- this up >"heyyy" >"....uhm hello?" >i have been practicing the perfect pickup line for weeks, just for this moment >okay here i go >"am i ur uncle? cuz i wanna rail the s--- out of you" >"anon what the f---" >reports me to the school >gets fired from teaching job why didnt it work?

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Anon is lesbian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Lesbian 05/16/23(Tue)17:46:58 No.10791747 25 Replies / 7 Images 5675 65.jpg 60 KB JPG View Thread : Anonymous 05/16/23(Tue)19:19:09 No.10791881 lesbien Your fortune: Bad Luck >>10791926 # : Anonymous 05/16/23(Tue)19:46:22 No.10791926 >>10791881 # tres bien Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again
Anonymous Lesbian 05/16/23(Tue)17:46:58 No.10791747 25 Replies / 7 Images 5675 65.jpg 60 KB JPG View Thread : Anonymous 05/16/23(Tue)19:19:09 No.10791881 lesbien Your fortune: Bad Luck >>10791926 # : Anonymous 05/16/23(Tue)19:46:22 No.10791926 >>10791881 # tres bien Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

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every single time | /r/Greentext

LEGO MINECRAFT 8+ (21144 549 j >be me >at target >cute cashier >tries to look cool and strong to impress her my dad paying for the lego set:
LEGO MINECRAFT 8+ (21144 549 j >be me >at target >cute cashier >tries to look cool and strong to impress her my dad paying for the lego set:

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anon needs to smile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 80 KB PNG 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous 12 KB JPG 05/14/23(Sun)23:47:19 No.10788865 hi [s4s] i'm feeling down please make me smile View Thread 05/14/23(Sun)23:49:20 No.10788869 smile.
: Anonymous 80 KB PNG 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous 12 KB JPG 05/14/23(Sun)23:47:19 No.10788865 hi [s4s] i'm feeling down please make me smile View Thread 05/14/23(Sun)23:49:20 No.10788869 smile.

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