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Anonymous (ID: 86Cv+14z ) 38 KB JPG Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test for testicular cancer and can show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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: Anonymous 03/02/24(Sat) 13:53:30 No.196821808 >when the media literacy kicks and the giant man-eating insects are actually the good guys 69 KB JPG

Anonymous 11/19/24(Tue)00:00:02 No.32331309 NEURON METER IQ CERTIFICATE AWARDED TO Gourn Mueller Your IQ score is 74 Neuron Meber What kind of job can I get with an IQ of 74? March 10, 2023 614 KB PNG Anonymous 11/19/24(Tue)00:02:53 No.32331329 A Trump Cabinet appointee

Anonymous No.264820315 4 hours ago >>264820071 >playing some uplink >friend comes into my dorm >"hey what's good- H-------- WHAT ARE YOU DOING" >Man I'm hacking this school database to give this guy a masters degree so I can get f------ paid. >H-------- BRO WHAT >he actually pulled the power cord out of the wall >I turn to him and yell WHAT THE F--- I DIDN'T COVER MY TRACKS YET, THE FBI WILL F--- ME UP FOR THIS, AND NOW YOU'RE AN ACCOMPLICE!! >he ran out of my room screaming >I had a good 20 minute laugh

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Anon wants to fix communism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: xbR0hJfw ...WITH JEWS You LOSE! 73 KB JPG 05/17/23 (Wed)19:50:27 No.427364590 Communism is unironically based if Tankies just realized that the enemy that never made communism work is in their ranks: JEWS! >because of Jewish greed for power and riches a classless society cant exist >Jews are genetic capitalists and no matter how much they scream for support they will always undermine the revolution >Jews spread corruption >Jews only care about other Jews >Jews spread illnesses I know the only way to fix communism and its getting rid of Jews

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god. that. plot. twist(s). otherwise pretty unfunny | /r/Greentext

☐/b/ why didnt it work Anonymous 05/17/23 (Wed)17:50:25 No.899423605 [Reply] >be me >in a middle school >see cute girl in my class >okay anon. you've trained for this moment for years. do *not* f--- this up >"heyyy" >"....uhm hello?" >i have been practicing the perfect pickup line for weeks, just for this moment >okay here i go >"am i ur uncle? cuz i wanna rail the s--- out of you" >"anon what the f---" >reports me to the school >gets fired from teaching job why didnt it work?

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Anon is lesbian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Lesbian 05/16/23(Tue)17:46:58 No.10791747 25 Replies / 7 Images 5675 65.jpg 60 KB JPG View Thread : Anonymous 05/16/23(Tue)19:19:09 No.10791881 lesbien Your fortune: Bad Luck >>10791926 # : Anonymous 05/16/23(Tue)19:46:22 No.10791926 >>10791881 # tres bien Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

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every single time | /r/Greentext

LEGO MINECRAFT 8+ (21144 549 j >be me >at target >cute cashier >tries to look cool and strong to impress her my dad paying for the lego set:

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anon needs to smile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 80 KB PNG 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous 12 KB JPG 05/14/23(Sun)23:47:19 No.10788865 hi [s4s] i'm feeling down please make me smile View Thread 05/14/23(Sun)23:49:20 No.10788869 smile.

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anon bans midget porn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I got m----- p--- banned 16 KB JPG 05/18/23(Thu)00:36:19 No.899433631 Story time /b/ois >be in NSFW Discord server where you share p--- >admins announce they are adding a bot that scans p--- for underage >idea >start uploading m----- p--- as fast as I can >most images/videos get flagged and need to be reviwed by staff but then are allowed >i convince other members to do the same thru DMs >even make our own Discord >2 days later admins announce the bot was "just a test" and they will be removing it >mission accomplished ff abt 2 weeks >they decide to try using the bot again >second Discord server "@everyone the bot is back, you know what to do" >loads of m----- p--- >not as many flagged this time but still hilarious, so many pics flagged >by this time staff knew we were screwing with them >new rule, basically says no more m----- p--- mfw I got m----- p--- banned View Thread

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Anon's mom thinks anon will drive a p-van | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous FELLS 31 KB JPG 05/17/23 (Wed)11:54:18 No.899426540 >Mom one day says she has a gift for me. >It's one of those Hot Wheels you get from a gas station, but the vehicle inside is like an older 1970s Chevy van. >Say thank you even though I was 18 at the time and never liked Hot Wheels as a kid or cars in general growing up. >Ask why she went for the van over a cool race car or something. >She says "I don't know, just seems like a car you would drive". >This one still keeps me up at night. : Anonymous >>899426540 (OP) # your mom thinks youre a p--- lol 05/17/23(Wed)11:55:05 No.899426566 : Anonymous 05/17/23(Wed)11:57:44 No.899426644 >>899426540 (OP) # S---, wish someone would buy me a Hotwheels.

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Anon realizes his mistake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 41 KB JPG Anonymous Anonymous stop thinking. that's all you have to do 05/17/23(Wed)17:49:40 No.93486900 How do you stop yourself from being dumb and having stupid ideas at your job? Everyone in my agile team probably thinks I'm an idiot Anonymous 05/17/23(Wed)17:59:55 No.93487068 say it more confidently and add more buzzwords. you will get promoted in no time >>93487182 # 05/17/23(Wed)17:56:35 No.93487016 05/17/23(Wed)17:59:12 No.93487055 Anonymous >>93486900 (OP) # Just keep your mouth shut. Don't speak unless you are spoken to. When asked for input just say the most boring and predictable thing. Anonymous Anonymous 05/17/23(Wed)18:01:56 No.93487092 05/17/23(Wed)18:06:01 No.93487158 05/17/23(Wed)18:07:22 No.93487182 >>93487092 # I'm going to do this, until I fully understand what I'm talking about, I now realize my mistake and will stay quiet

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Anon has a professor | /r/Greentext

Anonymous > Be me > Anti-social loser in CS masters program > TA'ing because I like to torture myself > Professors complain that too many students are getting away with cheating in the junior and senior classes because they're to lazy to update the curriculum and GitHub exists > Tell prof I'm TA'ing for that I bet if he pretends to be a student and shares around some private git with a doctored project that only works for the auto-graded question but failed hand checks that he could catch a bunch of lazy retards cheating. 17 KB JPG > Made this comment last spring, forget completely. > Cut to today. > TA'ing still > This last weekend the first capstone class had their first project due > Dreading grading that, but w/e > Wake up this morning > Email from professor 09/28/21(Tue)08:30:46 No.65554532 > "Thanks for the advice, hope you get a kick out of it." > Attached: Cheaters dot zip > Professor sent me a zip file containing a ton of evidence he gathered of students cheating. M----------- made a discord pretending to be a student, shared around a general solution to the first project that will only work with the auto grader questions but will fail everything else. 22/100 students failed his hand check on a first pass. The punishment for cheating in the capstone is immediate expulsion at this uni and he posted on canvas that he has a "big" announcement to make today. So, how was everyone's morning going? Anonymous 4 916 KB PNG 09/28/21(Tue)09:17:19 No.65554880 bad, f--- you

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Anon hates Gen Z | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2 143 KB PNG 05/12/23(Fri)07:11:48 No.73288158 i f------ hate zoomers more than anyone can possibly imagine >no creativity no culture nothing >its so bad every zoomer male literally has the same 2 haircuts >every woman just wants you to simp for her and has 3 fuckbuddies >you have to blindly follow corporate culture or you are shunned and permanently blacklisted >every girl is a complete gutter skank >they cannot make their own culture so they awkwardly cling to the 2000s culture >they cant make their own communities so they have to come ruin ours >discord >they have to put EVERYTHING on social media they care more about instagram than real life >no communication outside snapchat and discord >they cant make good music video games memes or anything >they all conform so f------ much its like theyre all the same person >completely void of morals >their women only f--- strangers online their men are all cuckolds 9 Replies / 2 Images View Thread 05/12/23(Fri)07:22:10 No.73288233 : Anonymous >>73288158 (OP) # SHEESH ong frfr no cap that's finna bussin bro deadass BET

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Critical thinking does some Anon | /r/Greentext

A NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY QUEEN CLEOPATRA NETFLIX MAY 10 ONLY ON MV5BMGNjY2EyMWQtYTIyNy00NDYxLTgyMjMt 154 K >choose to represent a culture >that culture doesn't like how they were represented >call that culture racist ??????

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Anon tries to rizz up his grieving friend | /r/Greentext

why do women get mad when you try to help them? Anonymous 05/15/23(Mon) >be me >friends with this girl since grade 7 >always had a massive crush on her >ffw to november 2020, middle of the pandemic >her dad dies, coronavirus >one night a few weeks later she and i are in a voice chat >she breaks down crying asking why her dad had to die >now's my time to shine, i can comfort her and be there for her >explain to her that we all die eventually, her dad was always going to die >she starts crying harder >"i just mean that everybody dies, you should be happy it happened now instead of when he was super old and sick" >she sobs and leaves the call >barely ever speaks to me again 2.5 years later and i still think of that night. why are women so retarded?

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Greentext Stories - Anon knows how to do a test | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous (ID: 86Cv+14z ) 38 KB JPG Yo did I just f--- up? I'm 95% certain I did. >girl I know is nursing student >solid 9/10 >tells me she knows how to test for testicular cancer and can show me >tell her I learned in health class in high school and can do myself I'm pretty sure I'm a f------ idiot

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