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Anon explains why houses in the south are cheap | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: 9IWP1U38 ) 07/16/21(Fri)13:47:25 No.38894668 File: 41c2a543b155a99a417596f15(...).jpg (115 KB, 1000x800) >>38894723 >>38894818 >>38895182 >>38891857 It's cheap because no one wants to live in the south. >Be in the south >Staying inside because its 90-100f+ out all the time >let your dog out to take a crap >they get through the fence because some "youths" punched a hole in it for no reason last night >dog gets on the neighbors lawn >shot on sight. muh NAP. >corpse thrown back over >while you go out to mourn your dog in the sweltering heat, deshawn earl white jones breaks into your house and steals your TV >drops a small bag of weed on his way out >cops come to investigate, see the weed, beat you up and arrest you >shoot your dead dog because it looked at them funny >as you're dragged out, several drug addicts run into your house to look for copper >then the hurricane hits >meanwhile, in idaho >a cozy 75 >let your dog out >they run off to get some food from your neighbor before they come back >a stray cow busted your fence, no problem, the owner found out and is repairing it tomorrow >all your windows are open, the "inner city kids" are all eastwards in spokane >cops stop by because they heard your wife was making pie for an upcoming bake sale >pet your dog on the way out because he looked at them cutely >while you sit on the couch with your dog, you enjoy the fact that you are always at least 1/2 mile away from someone else >then some gentle rains hit

O Anonymous (ID: 9IWP1U38 ) 07/16/21(Fri)13:47:25 No.38894668 File: 41c2a543b155a99a417596f15(...).jpg (115 KB, 1000x800) >>38894723 >>38894818 >>38895182 >>38891857 It's cheap because no one wants to live in the south. >Be in the south >Staying inside because its 90-100f+ out all the time >let your dog out to take a crap >they get through the fence because some "youths" punched a hole in it for no reason last night >dog gets on the neighbors lawn >shot on sight. muh NAP. >corpse thrown back over >while you go out to mourn your dog in the sweltering heat, deshawn earl white jones breaks into your house and steals your TV >drops a small bag of weed on his way out >cops come to investigate, see the weed, beat you up and arrest you >shoot your dead dog because it looked at them funny >as you're dragged out, several drug addicts run into your house to look for copper >then the hurricane hits >meanwhile, in idaho >a cozy 75 >let your dog out >they run off to get some food from your neighbor before they come back >a stray cow busted your fence, no problem, the owner found out and is repairing it tomorrow >all your windows are open, the "inner city kids" are all eastwards in spokane >cops stop by because they heard your wife was making pie for an upcoming bake sale >pet your dog on the way out because he looked at them cutely >while you sit on the couch with your dog, you enjoy the fact that you are always at least 1/2 mile away from someone else >then some gentle rains hit

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Anons are sigma | /r/Greentext

File: a toast.jpg (367 KB, 1024x1005) Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)00:25:08 No.64600577 >>64600 ITT: times you acted like a sigma male >girl tries to talk to me >tell her to f--- off O Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)00:27:08 No.64600591 File: 1623033793133.jpg (19 KB, 256x256) >>64600577 (OP) >girl tries to exist >slips abortion pills into my mom's food >mom miscarries Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)00:27:58 No.64600598 >>64600577 (OP) >Librarian tells me I have to stop watching scat p--- on the public computers >C-- on keyboard while making eye contact >Leave without pants >> Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)00:28:54 No.64600608 >>64600577 (OP) >air hostess tells me to stop watching p--- on the plane >grab her t--- and tell her i payed for this flight

File: a toast.jpg (367 KB, 1024x1005) Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)00:25:08 No.64600577 >>64600 ITT: times you acted like a sigma male >girl tries to talk to me >tell her to f--- off O Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)00:27:08 No.64600591 File: 1623033793133.jpg (19 KB, 256x256) >>64600577 (OP) >girl tries to exist >slips abortion pills into my mom's food >mom miscarries Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)00:27:58 No.64600598 >>64600577 (OP) >Librarian tells me I have to stop watching scat p--- on the public computers >C-- on keyboard while making eye contact >Leave without pants >> Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)00:28:54 No.64600608 >>64600577 (OP) >air hostess tells me to stop watching p--- on the plane >grab her t--- and tell her i payed for this flight

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Disney should hire anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/21(Wed)01:28:57 No.3858047 >be me >clownfish >watch my mate get eaten by barracuda >dontcarehadsex >s--- only one egg is left >raise the fry until they achieve dimorphism 120 KB JPG >transition to female >wincest.ogg Why did they not write it this way /an/? It's scientifically accurate. : Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:56:35 No.3859702 >>3858047 (OP) # >Why did they not write it this way /an/? It's scientifically accurate. don't give disney ideas, h--------

: Anonymous 07/07/21(Wed)01:28:57 No.3858047 >be me >clownfish >watch my mate get eaten by barracuda >dontcarehadsex >s--- only one egg is left >raise the fry until they achieve dimorphism 120 KB JPG >transition to female >wincest.ogg Why did they not write it this way /an/? It's scientifically accurate. : Anonymous 07/09/21(Fri)05:56:35 No.3859702 >>3858047 (OP) # >Why did they not write it this way /an/? It's scientifically accurate. don't give disney ideas, h--------

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Anon scares his classmates | /r/Greentext

Strelok 03/25/17 (Sat) 18:49:16 ID: bc4e8f No.478877 >>478878 >>478879 >>478881 >>478885 >>478988 >>479576 >>480533 >>489404 >>491418 >>491880 >Be me >be 15 >2009 >Loved Call of Duty 4 so much >Loved All Ghillied Up so much >Favorite level >I would often reenact levels in my yard with imaginary guns and stuff >i was also abnormally tall for 15 (this is important) >Like 6'2" >Heard senior prom was coming up, and since i was a sophomore I couldn't go >Girl across the street was having people over for pictures >Now, at proms what happens is that when you go to take photos, people park their cars bumper to bumper >reminded of All Ghillied Up when MacMillan and Price crawl under the cars >thisgivemeanidea.jpg >from what I learned from Stephanie (the girl across the street) they were gonna go drinking and s--- in the nature reserve after prom, maybe have some sex >Figure I might 'spy"on them and pretend one is Zakhaev and "shoot" him. >borrow my friends ghillie suit >wait until prom >When everyone's taking photos I put on the ghillie suit >it was a little dark by this time (7:00) and I had cover >"Ach, it's a bloody convention out there, when they leave, crawl out and stay low.' I say as I see the crowd, I wait for one of the dad's to move >"hooollld..." >he moves >"Okay...go!" >And so I ran! Exactly as MacMillan does, while even making the sounds of the music from that level >Start crawling under the cars >Holyautism.mosaic Sit's a bit of a tighter squeeze than i thought >Pretty tough but I'm skinny so it works >When i get to the end of the cars, people are starting to leave >i say f--- it and run out from under the cars over to a tree in my neighbor's lawn >I hear someone say 'What the f--- was that?" >I run to the beginning of the woods and look back >People are looking in my direction, mostly kids, they look sort of shaken >They keep wondering what it was that ran past them >l run back to my house when i see one of the dads and one of the seniors (named Jake) start to walk across the street >I say to myself "What the bloody hell was that? You trying to get us killed?" Strelok 03/25/17 (Sat) 18:51:25 ID: bc4e8f No.478878 >>478879 >>478881 >>478885 >>478975 >>478988 >>479576 >>480533 >>489404 >>491418 >>491880 File (hide): 84ac2c323adeb8c...png (206.66 KB, 319x297, 29:27, mac.png) (h) (u) >>478877 >night comes, I pass the time playing Mw2 >No MacMillan, i am sad >in the woods I see lights >It's the seniors >No, it's the ultranationalists! >KILL ZAKHAEV >throw on my ghillie suit >run into the forest >Stalk the seniors (about ten of them) through the trails >l'm snapping a lot of twigs and s--- following them >"What the f--- is that?" One of them says >"What?" >It's me. I run to a safer location >"Hello?" Stephanie calls out >lf they see me everyone will think I'm autistic >they keep walking and I realize I got too close to them >I say in a horrible Scottish accent: "Are you daft? Stay out of the radioactive areas!" >"WHAT THE F--- IS THAT?" One of them says >"WHAT WAS THAT?" >They're seriously scared >They book it to the campsite, and I tiptoe behind them >When they get there they set up camp. I live in the south so one of the guys brings a gun. His date is complaining >"I brought it in case that thing from stephanie's house come back." >"What if that was it earlier on our way here?" >"OMG STOO000OP" the females whimper in unison, like a choir of alley cats >The guy (Dave) looks into the woods with his guns while his date starts drinking and inviting him to join her >he's got his eyes fixed on the woods >I pretend he's an ultranationalist who spotted me >i run for cover >"I HEARD SOMETHING!" he shouts >Everyone's getting scared >Girls want to go home >The men decide to be noble and go find the "f-----" stalking them >l bolt. >An hour later, I'm still in the nature preserve >Looking for a way out >All of a sudden I run into the guys >l pretend its that part of All Ghillied Up when Price and MacMillan crawl through the grass past the ultranationalist patrol >i go prone and try to slip past them >instead, i lay down in deer s--- and get it smeared on my friend's ghillie suit >But I continue >Macmillan would have wanted it >they pass me, talking about the "creature" they saw >lolwut >"What did you see, jake?" >"It was huge! like six feet, hairy as f---, and it was like...walking like it had a limp" >i do not walk like that >I DO NOT WALK LIKE THAT I should probably point out my Macmillan impression sounds like I have a bunch of marbles in my mouth while I get deepthroated by mandingo and Danny D at the same time. >i do my accent and say with all of my autism 'pooch doesn't look too friendly." >They freak the f--- out and I run. >"I HEARD IT! THAT'S IT!" >i keep running and see lights. Maybe I'm home? >Nope, campsite >A girl shines a light into the woods, it hits me >Macmillan would be disappointed >"Hello?' >Say nothing, just stare. Macmillan would have shot her. >"What do you want, creep?" >A girl waves to get my attention >Pull down my mask to see if she would recognize me from school so she wouldn't be scared >I smile, but due to autism I smile really wide and with >i wave, but its cold as f--- so l'm shaking a ton and it looks like l'm having a seizure >They scream >it's mimicking us! >The thing is here! Stephanie shouts >i run, again wide like a deer gettir assrammed Strelok 03/25/17 (Sat) 18:51:48 ID: bc4e8f No.478879 >>478881 >>478885 >>478988 >>479576 >>480533 >>489404 >>491418 >>491880 File (hide): 709366abb28e734..png (49.97 KB, 145x155, 29:31, 2f9.png) (h) (u) >>478877 >>478878 I kept running that night but ran into the group again. turns out they had split up to search for the "creature" but two of them, Suzie and Noah, got lost. >They're calling out for Suzie >i like Suzie, and this fits, so I shout in my scottish accent >"OI, SUZY!" >A guy shoots at me with his AR >Macmillan would have topped him >he is shooting wildly >KILL THAT F------ MONSTER! One shouts >i run out of there while screaming loudly:"SUZIE! SUZIE!" hoping that they'll know I'm helping >i slip and fall into a small pit >"Did you smell that thing?" One says >l'm still splattered in deer s--- >They follow my trail, and Dave reaches the edge of pit >'Found it!" he cries >then he slips and falls in >Hits his head on a rock >is out cold, bleeding >I scream and bolt >l can hear the group screaming "it got Dave!" >They think I killed Dave >"Target neutralized' i say >Eventually I realize l've been going in circles because end up back at the camp >i get an idea >trash it, throw s--- around and set things on fire >Then I say: "Look at this place, 50,000 people used to live in this city, now it's a ghost town, never seen anything like it." >When the group comes back they see their camp trashed. >They left Dave in the woods for some reason. >I was really cold so I threw on some of Noah's extra clothes to keep warm. >They see me >"NOAH!" one shouts >l'm confused, "Noah?!" >They stop >mfw l'm still using my scottish accent >they're frozen >One girl tries to approach me >jake pulls her back >"that's not noah anymore" he says >Noah was the class clown and had a lot of funny catchphrases, so to calm them down i do an impression of him and say "What's swaggin?" >This scares them even more >Apparently he said that right before he disappeared >wat >Jake charges me >i run (getting sick of hearing that?) >he catches me >l'm bigger so I punch him and he falls >l pull him by his leg into the dark to punch him more >The group is screaming >the others are too scared to help >i beat him up while shouting Macmillan lines in a scottish accent >it sounds like William Wallace had suddenly come out of the trees and decided to savage one of the group members >he's bloody and I run so I won't get in trouble >The group freaks out >I stagger a lot, leaving blood all over the trees and stuff >My hand hurts from punching him a ton >i scream >More screaming from the woods >l get back home, shower, and play All Ghillied Up for real >When i return my friend's ghillie suit he tells me that apparently there's like a hairy monster man in the woods >l'm scared until I read the newspaper >blood trails all over the woods, two teens beaten and bloodied >Suzie was found stuck in mud >They never found Noah >jake and Dave ended up in the hospital >friends say they saw Noah attack Jake and then disappear >Say the creature was dark, hairy, smelly, ran fast, was tall and gaunt, and mimicked humans >two years later some anon posts about it on cuckchan's /b/ >called it a "skinwalker" >mfw I was a skinwalker >Macmillan would have been proud

Strelok 03/25/17 (Sat) 18:49:16 ID: bc4e8f No.478877 >>478878 >>478879 >>478881 >>478885 >>478988 >>479576 >>480533 >>489404 >>491418 >>491880 >Be me >be 15 >2009 >Loved Call of Duty 4 so much >Loved All Ghillied Up so much >Favorite level >I would often reenact levels in my yard with imaginary guns and stuff >i was also abnormally tall for 15 (this is important) >Like 6'2" >Heard senior prom was coming up, and since i was a sophomore I couldn't go >Girl across the street was having people over for pictures >Now, at proms what happens is that when you go to take photos, people park their cars bumper to bumper >reminded of All Ghillied Up when MacMillan and Price crawl under the cars >thisgivemeanidea.jpg >from what I learned from Stephanie (the girl across the street) they were gonna go drinking and s--- in the nature reserve after prom, maybe have some sex >Figure I might 'spy"on them and pretend one is Zakhaev and "shoot" him. >borrow my friends ghillie suit >wait until prom >When everyone's taking photos I put on the ghillie suit >it was a little dark by this time (7:00) and I had cover >"Ach, it's a bloody convention out there, when they leave, crawl out and stay low.' I say as I see the crowd, I wait for one of the dad's to move >"hooollld..." >he moves >"Okay...go!" >And so I ran! Exactly as MacMillan does, while even making the sounds of the music from that level >Start crawling under the cars >Holyautism.mosaic Sit's a bit of a tighter squeeze than i thought >Pretty tough but I'm skinny so it works >When i get to the end of the cars, people are starting to leave >i say f--- it and run out from under the cars over to a tree in my neighbor's lawn >I hear someone say 'What the f--- was that?" >I run to the beginning of the woods and look back >People are looking in my direction, mostly kids, they look sort of shaken >They keep wondering what it was that ran past them >l run back to my house when i see one of the dads and one of the seniors (named Jake) start to walk across the street >I say to myself "What the bloody hell was that? You trying to get us killed?" Strelok 03/25/17 (Sat) 18:51:25 ID: bc4e8f No.478878 >>478879 >>478881 >>478885 >>478975 >>478988 >>479576 >>480533 >>489404 >>491418 >>491880 File (hide): 84ac2c323adeb8c...png (206.66 KB, 319x297, 29:27, mac.png) (h) (u) >>478877 >night comes, I pass the time playing Mw2 >No MacMillan, i am sad >in the woods I see lights >It's the seniors >No, it's the ultranationalists! >KILL ZAKHAEV >throw on my ghillie suit >run into the forest >Stalk the seniors (about ten of them) through the trails >l'm snapping a lot of twigs and s--- following them >"What the f--- is that?" One of them says >"What?" >It's me. I run to a safer location >"Hello?" Stephanie calls out >lf they see me everyone will think I'm autistic >they keep walking and I realize I got too close to them >I say in a horrible Scottish accent: "Are you daft? Stay out of the radioactive areas!" >"WHAT THE F--- IS THAT?" One of them says >"WHAT WAS THAT?" >They're seriously scared >They book it to the campsite, and I tiptoe behind them >When they get there they set up camp. I live in the south so one of the guys brings a gun. His date is complaining >"I brought it in case that thing from stephanie's house come back." >"What if that was it earlier on our way here?" >"OMG STOO000OP" the females whimper in unison, like a choir of alley cats >The guy (Dave) looks into the woods with his guns while his date starts drinking and inviting him to join her >he's got his eyes fixed on the woods >I pretend he's an ultranationalist who spotted me >i run for cover >"I HEARD SOMETHING!" he shouts >Everyone's getting scared >Girls want to go home >The men decide to be noble and go find the "f-----" stalking them >l bolt. >An hour later, I'm still in the nature preserve >Looking for a way out >All of a sudden I run into the guys >l pretend its that part of All Ghillied Up when Price and MacMillan crawl through the grass past the ultranationalist patrol >i go prone and try to slip past them >instead, i lay down in deer s--- and get it smeared on my friend's ghillie suit >But I continue >Macmillan would have wanted it >they pass me, talking about the "creature" they saw >lolwut >"What did you see, jake?" >"It was huge! like six feet, hairy as f---, and it was like...walking like it had a limp" >i do not walk like that >I DO NOT WALK LIKE THAT I should probably point out my Macmillan impression sounds like I have a bunch of marbles in my mouth while I get deepthroated by mandingo and Danny D at the same time. >i do my accent and say with all of my autism 'pooch doesn't look too friendly." >They freak the f--- out and I run. >"I HEARD IT! THAT'S IT!" >i keep running and see lights. Maybe I'm home? >Nope, campsite >A girl shines a light into the woods, it hits me >Macmillan would be disappointed >"Hello?' >Say nothing, just stare. Macmillan would have shot her. >"What do you want, creep?" >A girl waves to get my attention >Pull down my mask to see if she would recognize me from school so she wouldn't be scared >I smile, but due to autism I smile really wide and with >i wave, but its cold as f--- so l'm shaking a ton and it looks like l'm having a seizure >They scream >it's mimicking us! >The thing is here! Stephanie shouts >i run, again wide like a deer gettir assrammed Strelok 03/25/17 (Sat) 18:51:48 ID: bc4e8f No.478879 >>478881 >>478885 >>478988 >>479576 >>480533 >>489404 >>491418 >>491880 File (hide): 709366abb28e734..png (49.97 KB, 145x155, 29:31, 2f9.png) (h) (u) >>478877 >>478878 I kept running that night but ran into the group again. turns out they had split up to search for the "creature" but two of them, Suzie and Noah, got lost. >They're calling out for Suzie >i like Suzie, and this fits, so I shout in my scottish accent >"OI, SUZY!" >A guy shoots at me with his AR >Macmillan would have topped him >he is shooting wildly >KILL THAT F------ MONSTER! One shouts >i run out of there while screaming loudly:"SUZIE! SUZIE!" hoping that they'll know I'm helping >i slip and fall into a small pit >"Did you smell that thing?" One says >l'm still splattered in deer s--- >They follow my trail, and Dave reaches the edge of pit >'Found it!" he cries >then he slips and falls in >Hits his head on a rock >is out cold, bleeding >I scream and bolt >l can hear the group screaming "it got Dave!" >They think I killed Dave >"Target neutralized' i say >Eventually I realize l've been going in circles because end up back at the camp >i get an idea >trash it, throw s--- around and set things on fire >Then I say: "Look at this place, 50,000 people used to live in this city, now it's a ghost town, never seen anything like it." >When the group comes back they see their camp trashed. >They left Dave in the woods for some reason. >I was really cold so I threw on some of Noah's extra clothes to keep warm. >They see me >"NOAH!" one shouts >l'm confused, "Noah?!" >They stop >mfw l'm still using my scottish accent >they're frozen >One girl tries to approach me >jake pulls her back >"that's not noah anymore" he says >Noah was the class clown and had a lot of funny catchphrases, so to calm them down i do an impression of him and say "What's swaggin?" >This scares them even more >Apparently he said that right before he disappeared >wat >Jake charges me >i run (getting sick of hearing that?) >he catches me >l'm bigger so I punch him and he falls >l pull him by his leg into the dark to punch him more >The group is screaming >the others are too scared to help >i beat him up while shouting Macmillan lines in a scottish accent >it sounds like William Wallace had suddenly come out of the trees and decided to savage one of the group members >he's bloody and I run so I won't get in trouble >The group freaks out >I stagger a lot, leaving blood all over the trees and stuff >My hand hurts from punching him a ton >i scream >More screaming from the woods >l get back home, shower, and play All Ghillied Up for real >When i return my friend's ghillie suit he tells me that apparently there's like a hairy monster man in the woods >l'm scared until I read the newspaper >blood trails all over the woods, two teens beaten and bloodied >Suzie was found stuck in mud >They never found Noah >jake and Dave ended up in the hospital >friends say they saw Noah attack Jake and then disappear >Say the creature was dark, hairy, smelly, ran fast, was tall and gaunt, and mimicked humans >two years later some anon posts about it on cuckchan's /b/ >called it a "skinwalker" >mfw I was a skinwalker >Macmillan would have been proud

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Anon makes a prediction | /r/Greentext

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Anon is rude | /r/Greentext

File: d3a.jpg (39 KB, 657x527) O Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)19:33:43 No.64593301 [Reply] >making routine calls for work >say something that I think is normal >boss says it's rude to say that >my autism cannot detect why it's rude >immediately feel anxiety spike >worry that I'm about to be fired for the rest of the day Work sucks >> Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)19:39:09 No.64593366 >>64593301 (OP)

File: d3a.jpg (39 KB, 657x527) O Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)19:33:43 No.64593301 [Reply] >making routine calls for work >say something that I think is normal >boss says it's rude to say that >my autism cannot detect why it's rude >immediately feel anxiety spike >worry that I'm about to be fired for the rest of the day Work sucks >> Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)19:39:09 No.64593366 >>64593301 (OP)

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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)01:36:34 No.859149129 >watching YouTube >open video >woman's voice >close video 20 KB JPG

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)01:36:34 No.859149129 >watching YouTube >open video >woman's voice >close video 20 KB JPG

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Anon goes out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)08:04:11 No.859150344 > come into bar > start casual conversation with a random woman > out of nowhere ask 94 KB JPG what her prices are > "excuse me?!" > Tell her that I'm sorry and that I meant no offense > womans ego = destroyed > leave : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)08:08:58 No.859150552 Based

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)08:04:11 No.859150344 > come into bar > start casual conversation with a random woman > out of nowhere ask 94 KB JPG what her prices are > "excuse me?!" > Tell her that I'm sorry and that I meant no offense > womans ego = destroyed > leave : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)08:08:58 No.859150552 Based

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Anon is a businessman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:22:47 No.849732160 >be me >get bored >order a pizza >pretend to be a pizza delivery guy >deliver pizzas to random people >hope to find a qt girl who lives alone and who likes pizza 154 KB PNG >thats all i need >eventually run into a few >p--- lied to me, whatever >around 70% of people actually decide to pay me for my pizza >others say they didnt order it >no loss >i guess people want pizzas some people just dont order them >idea.jpg >a pizza is 4 dollars at the store, ill sell it for 6 >buy 20 pizzas >sell all of them to random people pretending to be a delivery guy >40 dollar profit for selling 20 pizzas >do this when i need extra money

: Anonymous 03/16/21(Tue)11:22:47 No.849732160 >be me >get bored >order a pizza >pretend to be a pizza delivery guy >deliver pizzas to random people >hope to find a qt girl who lives alone and who likes pizza 154 KB PNG >thats all i need >eventually run into a few >p--- lied to me, whatever >around 70% of people actually decide to pay me for my pizza >others say they didnt order it >no loss >i guess people want pizzas some people just dont order them >idea.jpg >a pizza is 4 dollars at the store, ill sell it for 6 >buy 20 pizzas >sell all of them to random people pretending to be a delivery guy >40 dollar profit for selling 20 pizzas >do this when i need extra money

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Bad vibes. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)13:38:22 No.64593352 >Live in the middle floor in a block of 6 flats >Buy vibrator >Even on lowest setting it is really loud >Too scared to use it in case 258 KB PNG neighbours here So that was a waste of money.

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)13:38:22 No.64593352 >Live in the middle floor in a block of 6 flats >Buy vibrator >Even on lowest setting it is really loud >Too scared to use it in case 258 KB PNG neighbours here So that was a waste of money.

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Anon gets fit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)23:21:49 No.64595830 >be coomer >get bored of watching p--- >going to strip clubs or hiring escorts is too expensive >get idea >buy $10 monthly gym membership with the intention of watching sweaty fit women workout live 80 KB JPG >it would be too obvious to just stare at them so I workout to blend in >seeing a big fit butt in person doing squats does not compare to seeing it through a screen >and you can imagine the smell >fap to the memories the moment I get home >coom harder than I do with p--- >6 months pass >weight myself >l've lost 40 pounds of fat >and I've gained visible muscle in my arms, pecks, back, and legs >being a coomer actually helped me get fit

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)23:21:49 No.64595830 >be coomer >get bored of watching p--- >going to strip clubs or hiring escorts is too expensive >get idea >buy $10 monthly gym membership with the intention of watching sweaty fit women workout live 80 KB JPG >it would be too obvious to just stare at them so I workout to blend in >seeing a big fit butt in person doing squats does not compare to seeing it through a screen >and you can imagine the smell >fap to the memories the moment I get home >coom harder than I do with p--- >6 months pass >weight myself >l've lost 40 pounds of fat >and I've gained visible muscle in my arms, pecks, back, and legs >being a coomer actually helped me get fit

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Anon has a point | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)08:07:56 No.63094517 >he saves p--- on his computer 74 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)08:22:34 No.63094672 >>63094517 (OP) # >she is unironically a woman 39 KB JPG >>63094687 # >>63096708 #

: Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)08:07:56 No.63094517 >he saves p--- on his computer 74 KB JPG : Anonymous 04/07/21(Wed)08:22:34 No.63094672 >>63094517 (OP) # >she is unironically a woman 39 KB JPG >>63094687 # >>63096708 #

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Anon likes men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)10:50:50 No.64175921 >getting a haircut >barber qt finishes her work >"wanna touch?" >i look at her >"do you like?" >i realize she's talking about the haircut, although it was kinda creepy >walk out of the barbershop >another girl passes nearby and waves her hand at me 107 KB JPG >get to my block >some girl looks me in the eyes and smiles >run away If someone flipped a switch somewhere, I demand to flip it back.

: Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)10:50:50 No.64175921 >getting a haircut >barber qt finishes her work >"wanna touch?" >i look at her >"do you like?" >i realize she's talking about the haircut, although it was kinda creepy >walk out of the barbershop >another girl passes nearby and waves her hand at me 107 KB JPG >get to my block >some girl looks me in the eyes and smiles >run away If someone flipped a switch somewhere, I demand to flip it back.

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Anon gets a haircut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)01:11:25 No.859131101 >Be Polish >Visiting America e >Hair too long so decide to get a haircut >Go to barber shop >Older dude recognizes my accent and asks if I'm Polish 115 KB JPG >say yes >Dude starts cutting my hair >Didn't really bother looking at it because i was reading some s--- to pass time >He's done cutting my hair >I look up to see my hair >M----------- made me look like B.J Blazkowicz >Actually liked how it looked Thank you Mr.Barber

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)01:11:25 No.859131101 >Be Polish >Visiting America e >Hair too long so decide to get a haircut >Go to barber shop >Older dude recognizes my accent and asks if I'm Polish 115 KB JPG >say yes >Dude starts cutting my hair >Didn't really bother looking at it because i was reading some s--- to pass time >He's done cutting my hair >I look up to see my hair >M----------- made me look like B.J Blazkowicz >Actually liked how it looked Thank you Mr.Barber

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Anon has a scare | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)12:48:10 No.49964159 > be me, 1 hour ago > get text from gf staying at my house, she says she heard a loud knock on the door > tell her it's probably the gas company coming to change the meter > 5 minutes later we both remember the Raider Pepe 73 KB PNG gas company did that last week > texts me there was another loud banging on the door and now it sounds like there are voices in the house > there have been several armed home invasions in the neighborhood recently > tell her to get into the bedroom, lock the door, get the gun under the bed (I've taken her shooting a few ee times so she knows how it works) > run out of the office without clocking out, get into car, drive 25 over the speed limit to get home in about 7 minutes, weaving through traffic listening to Cypress Hill > slam on breaks in front of house, grab s----- hi-point out of locked dash > run up to front door avoiding the windows > there's a note on the door asking where I bought the bricks to my garden retaining wall > no one broke in > gf is just having a ptsd flashback, filled a glass all the way to the top with piss because she couldn't leave the room > as I leave the cat sprays the wall with piss > get back to work and I have to s--- and piss but both bathrooms are locked Tfw : Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)12:50:32 No.49964186 >>49964159 (OP) # And? Are you going to finish the f------ story? Where did you buy the f------ bricks f-----? >>49964210 #

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)12:48:10 No.49964159 > be me, 1 hour ago > get text from gf staying at my house, she says she heard a loud knock on the door > tell her it's probably the gas company coming to change the meter > 5 minutes later we both remember the Raider Pepe 73 KB PNG gas company did that last week > texts me there was another loud banging on the door and now it sounds like there are voices in the house > there have been several armed home invasions in the neighborhood recently > tell her to get into the bedroom, lock the door, get the gun under the bed (I've taken her shooting a few ee times so she knows how it works) > run out of the office without clocking out, get into car, drive 25 over the speed limit to get home in about 7 minutes, weaving through traffic listening to Cypress Hill > slam on breaks in front of house, grab s----- hi-point out of locked dash > run up to front door avoiding the windows > there's a note on the door asking where I bought the bricks to my garden retaining wall > no one broke in > gf is just having a ptsd flashback, filled a glass all the way to the top with piss because she couldn't leave the room > as I leave the cat sprays the wall with piss > get back to work and I have to s--- and piss but both bathrooms are locked Tfw : Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)12:50:32 No.49964186 >>49964159 (OP) # And? Are you going to finish the f------ story? Where did you buy the f------ bricks f-----? >>49964210 #

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Anon likes DnD | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [O Auto] File: Autismus Maximus.jpg (65 KB, 699x473) Dnd is fun Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)13:39:34 No.18031207 >Be me >Autistic beyond the spectrum >Play dnd alone because socializing is hard >I play 8 characters and i'm GM. >RpgMaster.webm >Told parents about my campaign >"That's great anon, but don't you wanna play with friends?" Asperger's Syndrome High-Functioning Autism Yes, there's a difference. >DepressedKinda.png >Told them i am my own friend >Parents laugh, then s-- >NotMyProudestMoment.gif <0- 国二制

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [O Auto] File: Autismus Maximus.jpg (65 KB, 699x473) Dnd is fun Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)13:39:34 No.18031207 >Be me >Autistic beyond the spectrum >Play dnd alone because socializing is hard >I play 8 characters and i'm GM. >RpgMaster.webm >Told parents about my campaign >"That's great anon, but don't you wanna play with friends?" Asperger's Syndrome High-Functioning Autism Yes, there's a difference. >DepressedKinda.png >Told them i am my own friend >Parents laugh, then s-- >NotMyProudestMoment.gif <0- 国二制

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Anon goes to Cracker Barrel | /r/Greentext

>go to Cracker Barrel for breakfast with family >hear guy jacking off in bathroom 27 KB PNG

>go to Cracker Barrel for breakfast with family >hear guy jacking off in bathroom 27 KB PNG

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Anon witnesses a failed pregnancy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)21:18:54 No.856854637 >be me >in Walmart >head to the bathroom cause I need to piss like a m----------- >walk in >hear someone groaning quietly in one of the stalls 199 KB JPG >weird but f--- it >pissing hard >hear a loud gasp followed by splashing water in the stall >they start sobbing now >w-- >finish pissing >woman runs outside the stall crying >left behind a small trail of blood >no idea what the f--- just happened >morbid curiosity forces me to check inside the stall >there's even more blood >look inside the toilet >see a dead fetus looking out from the water >get the f--- out of that walmart >never going back there

: Anonymous 06/14/21(Mon)21:18:54 No.856854637 >be me >in Walmart >head to the bathroom cause I need to piss like a m----------- >walk in >hear someone groaning quietly in one of the stalls 199 KB JPG >weird but f--- it >pissing hard >hear a loud gasp followed by splashing water in the stall >they start sobbing now >w-- >finish pissing >woman runs outside the stall crying >left behind a small trail of blood >no idea what the f--- just happened >morbid curiosity forces me to check inside the stall >there's even more blood >look inside the toilet >see a dead fetus looking out from the water >get the f--- out of that walmart >never going back there

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Anon makes a good point about women and dolphins | /r/Greentext

$>Dating a woman F------ WHY? >Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles in order to provide maximum pleasure. Most women cannot >Dolphins secrete a substance that dramatically shortens your refractory period as long as your d--- remains in her vagina. Women cannot >Dolphins cannot cheat on you as they do not form lasting, intimate relationships. Women can, and not only can, but they enjoy doing it >Dolphins do not mind if you f--- another dolphin. A women will hate you if you f--- another women >Dolphins don't mind if you c-- inside either. She won't force you to pay child support for 18 years like a women. She can't even get pregnant >Dolphins won't leave you for another dolphin with more shekels. Dolphins do not have a system of currency and are not consumer w----- like women >If you are the submissive type, dolphins can be aggressive, and far more convincingly aggressive, not like a 140 pound bitch who won't scare anyone >Dolphins do not expect you to spend exorbitant amounts of shekels on them >Dolphins give it up easily >Dolphins do not demand superior rights to men >Dolphins do not organize Dolphinwalks >You can ride a dolphin through the ocean >Dolphins are more intelligent then women$

$>Dating a woman F------ WHY? >Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles in order to provide maximum pleasure. Most women cannot >Dolphins secrete a substance that dramatically shortens your refractory period as long as your d--- remains in her vagina. Women cannot >Dolphins cannot cheat on you as they do not form lasting, intimate relationships. Women can, and not only can, but they enjoy doing it >Dolphins do not mind if you f--- another dolphin. A women will hate you if you f--- another women >Dolphins don't mind if you c-- inside either. She won't force you to pay child support for 18 years like a women. She can't even get pregnant >Dolphins won't leave you for another dolphin with more shekels. Dolphins do not have a system of currency and are not consumer w----- like women >If you are the submissive type, dolphins can be aggressive, and far more convincingly aggressive, not like a 140 pound bitch who won't scare anyone >Dolphins do not expect you to spend exorbitant amounts of shekels on them >Dolphins give it up easily >Dolphins do not demand superior rights to men >Dolphins do not organize Dolphinwalks >You can ride a dolphin through the ocean >Dolphins are more intelligent then women$

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