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wtf is wrong with anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/18(Mon)13:09:35 No.43157177 >go to mcslaves >ask for bigmac with cheese. >get meal, sit down for a minute >everything is in order >stand back up and go back to wagie that served me. 267 KB PNG >ask him what the f--- he was thinking and demand to speak to manager >wagie is visibly scared but calls them over. >tell manager that I specifically asked for bigmac without milk as I am very allergic to dairy. >manager is fuming at wagie. >told manager that wagie laughed when he gave me order. >Manager offered to pay for my meal but I insisted that I pay for it. >manager demands wagie go to his office. >I can hear shouting as I leave. Today was good.
: Anonymous 02/12/18(Mon)13:09:35 No.43157177 >go to mcslaves >ask for bigmac with cheese. >get meal, sit down for a minute >everything is in order >stand back up and go back to wagie that served me. 267 KB PNG >ask him what the f--- he was thinking and demand to speak to manager >wagie is visibly scared but calls them over. >tell manager that I specifically asked for bigmac without milk as I am very allergic to dairy. >manager is fuming at wagie. >told manager that wagie laughed when he gave me order. >Manager offered to pay for my meal but I insisted that I pay for it. >manager demands wagie go to his office. >I can hear shouting as I leave. Today was good.

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Anon feels nostalgic | /r/Greentext

No.859189496 16 minutes ago oh.jpg JPG 103.7 KiB 463x375 >watch show >two characters have crushes on each other >"haha I remember when I had a crush" >that was 7 years ago >i miss that feeling >oh.jpg
No.859189496 16 minutes ago oh.jpg JPG 103.7 KiB 463x375 >watch show >two characters have crushes on each other >"haha I remember when I had a crush" >that was 7 years ago >i miss that feeling >oh.jpg

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Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.
: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.

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Anon is a rooster chad | /r/Greentext

Rooster learns its place in the universe Rooster learns its place in th(...) 07/17/21(Sat)11:02:17 No.3867769 >be me >putting out old tortilla scraps to feed to my subjects >they are grateful before their god, the eggs will be bountiful this moon >take a break from providing for my helpless worshippers to pee 170 KB PNG >cocky alpha rooster attempts to challenge its god >strikes at me with its foot >does nothing, like a little bitch, only able to get dirt and chicken s--- on my shoe >ohshit.jpg >stands tall, intimidating it with my godlike aura, and terrifies the puny mortal by kicking the air near it >runs in fear to the other chickens, who laugh at its godlessness >demoted to beta >as it's running towards them I throw a stick at it, which strikes, further humiliating beta rooster >leave I am a merciful god, but when my authority is disrespected, my subjects will know my wrath.
Rooster learns its place in the universe Rooster learns its place in th(...) 07/17/21(Sat)11:02:17 No.3867769 >be me >putting out old tortilla scraps to feed to my subjects >they are grateful before their god, the eggs will be bountiful this moon >take a break from providing for my helpless worshippers to pee 170 KB PNG >cocky alpha rooster attempts to challenge its god >strikes at me with its foot >does nothing, like a little bitch, only able to get dirt and chicken s--- on my shoe >ohshit.jpg >stands tall, intimidating it with my godlike aura, and terrifies the puny mortal by kicking the air near it >runs in fear to the other chickens, who laugh at its godlessness >demoted to beta >as it's running towards them I throw a stick at it, which strikes, further humiliating beta rooster >leave I am a merciful god, but when my authority is disrespected, my subjects will know my wrath.

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Anon munches chips | /r/Greentext

File: 20210420_194958.jpg (283 KB, 960x1792) O Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)02:16:16 No.859153260 >be me >last week BIC >eating chips, stoned playing minecraft >chomp >bite my cheek, a f------ chunk is missing >blood fills my mouth, i go to the sink to rinse >fast forward >bite looks gross, lots of swelling >cant talk >cant eat >no insurance/ american >pic unrelated Flick
File: 20210420_194958.jpg (283 KB, 960x1792) O Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)02:16:16 No.859153260 >be me >last week BIC >eating chips, stoned playing minecraft >chomp >bite my cheek, a f------ chunk is missing >blood fills my mouth, i go to the sink to rinse >fast forward >bite looks gross, lots of swelling >cant talk >cant eat >no insurance/ american >pic unrelated Flick

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anon is accidentally gay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No. 46632134 (1 h) Be me >masturbating to spider p--- >look at related videos >black widow p--- hotshitnigga.png >open it >get mega super hard >c-- within 10 seconds JPG 20.36 KB honestly best c-- of my life >notice something about the black widow is weird >cant see an hourglass >realize i masturbated to a male black widow guys i dont know what to do im not gay but i came to a male black widow
Anonymous No. 46632134 (1 h) Be me >masturbating to spider p--- >look at related videos >black widow p--- hotshitnigga.png >open it >get mega super hard >c-- within 10 seconds JPG 20.36 KB honestly best c-- of my life >notice something about the black widow is weird >cant see an hourglass >realize i masturbated to a male black widow guys i dont know what to do im not gay but i came to a male black widow

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You are not the one | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why are women so fake and bori(...) 07/17/21(Sat)04:24:34 No.64601786 >speak to e-girl >find out she's interested in The Matrix >tells me how she's into the possibility of Al robots taking over >speak to her about concepts 6 KB JPG related to simulations and computation scalings that can either prevent that or cause it >she sounds interested but has no real substance to return besides agree with me >ghosts me afterwards Also >inb4 some simp or roastie tell me i was just being weird and autistic
: Anonymous Why are women so fake and bori(...) 07/17/21(Sat)04:24:34 No.64601786 >speak to e-girl >find out she's interested in The Matrix >tells me how she's into the possibility of Al robots taking over >speak to her about concepts 6 KB JPG related to simulations and computation scalings that can either prevent that or cause it >she sounds interested but has no real substance to return besides agree with me >ghosts me afterwards Also >inb4 some simp or roastie tell me i was just being weird and autistic

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Anon finds a friend in himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:01:23 No.9231307 >make thread >no one replies >pull out my phone and reply to my thread 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:04:06 No.9231311 totally man haha good thread dude >>9231316 #
: Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:01:23 No.9231307 >make thread >no one replies >pull out my phone and reply to my thread 31 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/20(Tue)20:04:06 No.9231311 totally man haha good thread dude >>9231316 #

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Anon's dad is a beach ball | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)17:19:41 No.62604141 I've posted this story once before but anyway >be me >17 at time of story >Dad is sick the big Cancer >in hospital >instead of using bed-pan he uses bathroom in the room >nurses don't like this >on blood thinners >one day his legs are too weak to hold him when getting up to pee. >falls and hits head >nurses find him about 20 mins later bleeding from head >needs brain surgery >entire family shows up to hospital >as he's being wheeled past stepmom makes a comment "You can tell it's him, look at that beach- ball under the sheet >laughs, most of family laughs >Dad goes into surgery for brain >never wakes up one of the last moments of his life was to be a butt of a joke
: Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)17:19:41 No.62604141 I've posted this story once before but anyway >be me >17 at time of story >Dad is sick the big Cancer >in hospital >instead of using bed-pan he uses bathroom in the room >nurses don't like this >on blood thinners >one day his legs are too weak to hold him when getting up to pee. >falls and hits head >nurses find him about 20 mins later bleeding from head >needs brain surgery >entire family shows up to hospital >as he's being wheeled past stepmom makes a comment "You can tell it's him, look at that beach- ball under the sheet >laughs, most of family laughs >Dad goes into surgery for brain >never wakes up one of the last moments of his life was to be a butt of a joke

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Anon is a liar. | /r/Greentext

>source: I actually talk to girls >>859071429 # >>859072108 # >>859072301 #
>source: I actually talk to girls >>859071429 # >>859072108 # >>859072301 #

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Anon can't unlock the door | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ultra retarded stories thread 01/22/19(Tue)14:13:58 No.50566080 >be me lat week >arrive home from school >can't unlock the f------ door >after few tries I called dad >he says he isn't home so maybe the door handle froze 61 KB JPG >talk with him for a couple minutes >realize I was turning the key in the wrong f------ direction >mfw
: Anonymous Ultra retarded stories thread 01/22/19(Tue)14:13:58 No.50566080 >be me lat week >arrive home from school >can't unlock the f------ door >after few tries I called dad >he says he isn't home so maybe the door handle froze 61 KB JPG >talk with him for a couple minutes >realize I was turning the key in the wrong f------ direction >mfw

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Anon is a gentleman | /r/Greentext


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The Wishing Well | /r/Greentext

File: 124.png (210 KB, 491x483) family wants my bitcoin Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)11:20:31 No.64604904 [Reply] >>64604928 >>64604931 >>64604946 >>64604952 >be me >27 >found out about bitcoin in 2014 >been buying as much as al can since then >had just over 130 btc >sold the top in 2017 and rebought when it was 4k in 2019 >familly got mad at me for buying in, says I should have cashed out and l'd be a millionaire blah blah etc >fast forward to 2021 >now have 490 bitcoins, most from selling the top in 2017 and rebuying in 2019 >held till 2021 because I know thats when the next halving is >bitcoin goes to 60k, sell at 40k and now have 18 million dollars. >family begs for some of the money >say i'll give them 2mil because I care about them, no more because I took this risk and they didn't want me to. >they get mad, say each member of the family should split it equally >wtfno.jpg >tell them they should be thankful I gave them anything when this isn't even their money in the first place >now have poor relations with them, don't meet with them frequently and when I do they can't go 5 seconds without bringing up my money >they say i'm greedy and i'll blow it all blah blah blah Am I in the wrong here? Will they get over this eventually?
File: 124.png (210 KB, 491x483) family wants my bitcoin Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)11:20:31 No.64604904 [Reply] >>64604928 >>64604931 >>64604946 >>64604952 >be me >27 >found out about bitcoin in 2014 >been buying as much as al can since then >had just over 130 btc >sold the top in 2017 and rebought when it was 4k in 2019 >familly got mad at me for buying in, says I should have cashed out and l'd be a millionaire blah blah etc >fast forward to 2021 >now have 490 bitcoins, most from selling the top in 2017 and rebuying in 2019 >held till 2021 because I know thats when the next halving is >bitcoin goes to 60k, sell at 40k and now have 18 million dollars. >family begs for some of the money >say i'll give them 2mil because I care about them, no more because I took this risk and they didn't want me to. >they get mad, say each member of the family should split it equally >wtfno.jpg >tell them they should be thankful I gave them anything when this isn't even their money in the first place >now have poor relations with them, don't meet with them frequently and when I do they can't go 5 seconds without bringing up my money >they say i'm greedy and i'll blow it all blah blah blah Am I in the wrong here? Will they get over this eventually?

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Anon is white | /r/Greentext

23m (7/17 20:27) · 859159177 3 Re · 0 Img · PNG 593KB · (860 × 888) 2 Replies >be me >wake up >average day >realize im not black, a woman, or British >day improves 14m (7/17 20:35) · 859159399 >>859159177 (OP) Sounds like some pretty low standards. 10m (7/17 20:39) · 859159490 >>859159177 (OP) I wouldn't mind waking up black, or a women, but thank God I'm not British
23m (7/17 20:27) · 859159177 3 Re · 0 Img · PNG 593KB · (860 × 888) 2 Replies >be me >wake up >average day >realize im not black, a woman, or British >day improves 14m (7/17 20:35) · 859159399 >>859159177 (OP) Sounds like some pretty low standards. 10m (7/17 20:39) · 859159490 >>859159177 (OP) I wouldn't mind waking up black, or a women, but thank God I'm not British

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Anon is definitely straight | /r/Greentext

File: sneed.png (202 KB, 203x923) O Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)23:58:23 No.64600377 >>6460 1019 >>64600385 >>64600463 >be definitely straight >join discord server because of a friend, because why not >all of them coomers, whatever >owner enjoys futanari and eventually admits he's gay >says "I wasn't always gay. the internet made me gay" >pfff okay that's b------- >eventually spend a couple of years on the server >adopt a lot of my personality and interests from them >eventually buy white and blue striped femboy socks, because one of the members in the server said they were comfy >genuinely not gay, they just look comfy and I collect socks >a few weeks after wearing the socks I begin thinking "hey wait futanari and traps might actually be kinda hot, maybe even sucking one of their di- f---" have I been gay indoctrinated by discord? f---, what do I do? how do I reverse this? I don't want to slide down the t----- slope please help.
File: sneed.png (202 KB, 203x923) O Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)23:58:23 No.64600377 >>6460 1019 >>64600385 >>64600463 >be definitely straight >join discord server because of a friend, because why not >all of them coomers, whatever >owner enjoys futanari and eventually admits he's gay >says "I wasn't always gay. the internet made me gay" >pfff okay that's b------- >eventually spend a couple of years on the server >adopt a lot of my personality and interests from them >eventually buy white and blue striped femboy socks, because one of the members in the server said they were comfy >genuinely not gay, they just look comfy and I collect socks >a few weeks after wearing the socks I begin thinking "hey wait futanari and traps might actually be kinda hot, maybe even sucking one of their di- f---" have I been gay indoctrinated by discord? f---, what do I do? how do I reverse this? I don't want to slide down the t----- slope please help.

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Femanon is a robot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Fembot dating stories 01/22/21(Fri)08:51:00 No.61967939 >be me >19 year old femanon NEET >dangerously socially retarded >do nothing but play vidya and watch anime >meet guy on Valorant during quarantine >actually really charismatic and 29 KB JPG funny >start playing together daily >daily vidya turns into daily messages >messages start getting more and more lewd >most his lewd messages almost always mention his 8 inch c--- >he eventually asks me to send nudes >fuckthatshit.jpg >he becomes more and more persistent >keep telling him I'm not comfortable with it >he keeps persisting >finally agree to send him my nudes if he sends me his >he is reluctant but eventually agrees >sends d--- pic >3 inch veiny mushroom >can't look at it without out instantly thinking of toad from mario >feel misled and manipulated >refuse to send my nudes because he lied to me >he starts babyraging at me and tells me not to contact him again >feel really depressed and stupid for thinking he actually liked me for who I am as a person >weeks go by >get a message from him out of nowhere >"kill yourself you dumb f------ slut" >feel rage come over me, start to see red >post his 3 incher on his facebook wall along with the toxic message he sent me so his friends and family can see what a big man he really is >a girl responds with the "cry-laugh" emoji >realize the girl has the same last name as him >nearly choke on my laughter >later that night >get a message from that girl >turns out it was his sister, she apologizes for his behavior >months go by >me and his sister are still friends >apparently he has become reclusive and depressed >can't help but feel guilty even though he brought it on himself Did I do the right thing anons? I know you guys think femanons can't be robots, but any girl who has nerdy interests has to deal with hordes of insecure creeps, and a lot of us end up alone because of it, the fembot experience isn't as easy as you think. img
: Anonymous Fembot dating stories 01/22/21(Fri)08:51:00 No.61967939 >be me >19 year old femanon NEET >dangerously socially retarded >do nothing but play vidya and watch anime >meet guy on Valorant during quarantine >actually really charismatic and 29 KB JPG funny >start playing together daily >daily vidya turns into daily messages >messages start getting more and more lewd >most his lewd messages almost always mention his 8 inch c--- >he eventually asks me to send nudes >fuckthatshit.jpg >he becomes more and more persistent >keep telling him I'm not comfortable with it >he keeps persisting >finally agree to send him my nudes if he sends me his >he is reluctant but eventually agrees >sends d--- pic >3 inch veiny mushroom >can't look at it without out instantly thinking of toad from mario >feel misled and manipulated >refuse to send my nudes because he lied to me >he starts babyraging at me and tells me not to contact him again >feel really depressed and stupid for thinking he actually liked me for who I am as a person >weeks go by >get a message from him out of nowhere >"kill yourself you dumb f------ slut" >feel rage come over me, start to see red >post his 3 incher on his facebook wall along with the toxic message he sent me so his friends and family can see what a big man he really is >a girl responds with the "cry-laugh" emoji >realize the girl has the same last name as him >nearly choke on my laughter >later that night >get a message from that girl >turns out it was his sister, she apologizes for his behavior >months go by >me and his sister are still friends >apparently he has become reclusive and depressed >can't help but feel guilty even though he brought it on himself Did I do the right thing anons? I know you guys think femanons can't be robots, but any girl who has nerdy interests has to deal with hordes of insecure creeps, and a lot of us end up alone because of it, the fembot experience isn't as easy as you think. img

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man got trolled by woman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)22:26:43 No.64603398 >be me >travel to europe for the summer >troll a school friend because shes gay >tell the school friend to kill herself >wait a few days 4 KB JPG >her mom calls to tell me she actually did it >mfw i heard the news >her mom says I was mentioned in the suicide note, but not in a good way >attached image again >go to sleep with the burden of thinking a human died because of you >wake up >check texts >read a text from the person you thought died >she said it was fake just to guilt trip me man 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)22:38:41 No.64603473 >>64603398 (OP) # >le epic troll hahah f----- you got trolled lololololololololloololo >>64603554 # : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)22:48:39 No.64603554 >>64603473 # tfw I got trolled by a w*man
: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)22:26:43 No.64603398 >be me >travel to europe for the summer >troll a school friend because shes gay >tell the school friend to kill herself >wait a few days 4 KB JPG >her mom calls to tell me she actually did it >mfw i heard the news >her mom says I was mentioned in the suicide note, but not in a good way >attached image again >go to sleep with the burden of thinking a human died because of you >wake up >check texts >read a text from the person you thought died >she said it was fake just to guilt trip me man 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)22:38:41 No.64603473 >>64603398 (OP) # >le epic troll hahah f----- you got trolled lololololololololloololo >>64603554 # : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)22:48:39 No.64603554 >>64603473 # tfw I got trolled by a w*man

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Anon meets a chad boomer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)01:19:26 No.859150995 File: cover6.jpg (238 KB, 1600x900) >be me walking with friend on the beach in Cali >spots two trannies arguing with a fit chad boomer laying on his towel trying to tan at the beach >trannies visibly upset and causing a massive scene >one t----- yells "VWE RESERVEĎ THIS SPOT FOR A GIRLS DAY OUT!" and stomps the sand >other t----- sighs really loudly and they both stare at the boomer >boomer says nothing at first, leans up >"your d---- out, son." >the trannys d--- had slipped out of his undersized panties after he stomped. f------ KEKW.jpg >t----- gets extremely embarrassed and starts crying. Other t----- is visibly upset and tries to console the crying t----- >"nice c--- for a bitch" and leans back down.
Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)01:19:26 No.859150995 File: cover6.jpg (238 KB, 1600x900) >be me walking with friend on the beach in Cali >spots two trannies arguing with a fit chad boomer laying on his towel trying to tan at the beach >trannies visibly upset and causing a massive scene >one t----- yells "VWE RESERVEĎ THIS SPOT FOR A GIRLS DAY OUT!" and stomps the sand >other t----- sighs really loudly and they both stare at the boomer >boomer says nothing at first, leans up >"your d---- out, son." >the trannys d--- had slipped out of his undersized panties after he stomped. f------ KEKW.jpg >t----- gets extremely embarrassed and starts crying. Other t----- is visibly upset and tries to console the crying t----- >"nice c--- for a bitch" and leans back down.

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Anon takes a sniff | /r/Greentext

File: 1626016949400.png (216 KB, 561x483) O Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)16:08:07 No.24588121 > >>24588186 >>24588210 >>24588218 >make gf take a brisk walk in the woods during 35c day. >ambush her by a grassy knoll >lift up her short skirt and take a deep long whiff of her smelly sweaty c--- >have an asthma attack due to hay allergy >gf calls ambulance and tells them i passed out sniffing her p---- >other hikers heard Should i just kill myself?
File: 1626016949400.png (216 KB, 561x483) O Anonymous 07/16/21(Fri)16:08:07 No.24588121 > >>24588186 >>24588210 >>24588218 >make gf take a brisk walk in the woods during 35c day. >ambush her by a grassy knoll >lift up her short skirt and take a deep long whiff of her smelly sweaty c--- >have an asthma attack due to hay allergy >gf calls ambulance and tells them i passed out sniffing her p---- >other hikers heard Should i just kill myself?

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Anon explains why houses in the south are cheap | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: 9IWP1U38 ) 07/16/21(Fri)13:47:25 No.38894668 File: 41c2a543b155a99a417596f15(...).jpg (115 KB, 1000x800) >>38894723 >>38894818 >>38895182 >>38891857 It's cheap because no one wants to live in the south. >Be in the south >Staying inside because its 90-100f+ out all the time >let your dog out to take a crap >they get through the fence because some "youths" punched a hole in it for no reason last night >dog gets on the neighbors lawn >shot on sight. muh NAP. >corpse thrown back over >while you go out to mourn your dog in the sweltering heat, deshawn earl white jones breaks into your house and steals your TV >drops a small bag of weed on his way out >cops come to investigate, see the weed, beat you up and arrest you >shoot your dead dog because it looked at them funny >as you're dragged out, several drug addicts run into your house to look for copper >then the hurricane hits >meanwhile, in idaho >a cozy 75 >let your dog out >they run off to get some food from your neighbor before they come back >a stray cow busted your fence, no problem, the owner found out and is repairing it tomorrow >all your windows are open, the "inner city kids" are all eastwards in spokane >cops stop by because they heard your wife was making pie for an upcoming bake sale >pet your dog on the way out because he looked at them cutely >while you sit on the couch with your dog, you enjoy the fact that you are always at least 1/2 mile away from someone else >then some gentle rains hit
O Anonymous (ID: 9IWP1U38 ) 07/16/21(Fri)13:47:25 No.38894668 File: 41c2a543b155a99a417596f15(...).jpg (115 KB, 1000x800) >>38894723 >>38894818 >>38895182 >>38891857 It's cheap because no one wants to live in the south. >Be in the south >Staying inside because its 90-100f+ out all the time >let your dog out to take a crap >they get through the fence because some "youths" punched a hole in it for no reason last night >dog gets on the neighbors lawn >shot on sight. muh NAP. >corpse thrown back over >while you go out to mourn your dog in the sweltering heat, deshawn earl white jones breaks into your house and steals your TV >drops a small bag of weed on his way out >cops come to investigate, see the weed, beat you up and arrest you >shoot your dead dog because it looked at them funny >as you're dragged out, several drug addicts run into your house to look for copper >then the hurricane hits >meanwhile, in idaho >a cozy 75 >let your dog out >they run off to get some food from your neighbor before they come back >a stray cow busted your fence, no problem, the owner found out and is repairing it tomorrow >all your windows are open, the "inner city kids" are all eastwards in spokane >cops stop by because they heard your wife was making pie for an upcoming bake sale >pet your dog on the way out because he looked at them cutely >while you sit on the couch with your dog, you enjoy the fact that you are always at least 1/2 mile away from someone else >then some gentle rains hit

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