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Anon teaches someone a lesson | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/17(Wed)23:23:03 No.4177629: >guy left his yahoo mail account logged in at library >delete hundreds of his contacts and mess up his calendar That'll teach him. 7 KB PNG
: Anonymous 12/13/17(Wed)23:23:03 No.4177629: >guy left his yahoo mail account logged in at library >delete hundreds of his contacts and mess up his calendar That'll teach him. 7 KB PNG

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Anon breaks his NoFap | /r/Greentext


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Yeah science bitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)23:29:44 No.858892527 >be me >get bored decide to go to methead area of town >finally think about trying some for the first time >i smoke pot an s--- all the time >go to who i think might be selling 154 KB PNG some >says his names badger >weird name >says his boss crushed somebody with an atm >meth is blue >awesome >go home >smoke meth >bald guy bursts through the door and tells me to put it down >mfw hes a dea agent
: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)23:29:44 No.858892527 >be me >get bored decide to go to methead area of town >finally think about trying some for the first time >i smoke pot an s--- all the time >go to who i think might be selling 154 KB PNG some >says his names badger >weird name >says his boss crushed somebody with an atm >meth is blue >awesome >go home >smoke meth >bald guy bursts through the door and tells me to put it down >mfw hes a dea agent

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Anon is from England | /r/Greentext

File: Englif.jpg (36 KB, 468x299) Anonymous 107/12/21(Mon)19:27:28 No.110957803 >> >be English man >love Football >spent £1000 on black market to get ticket >once in a lifetime chance to see England win the cup >history is to be made >stadium packed with people like me >great atmosphere >until the very end >team loses against spaghettis >again no cup >got corona
File: Englif.jpg (36 KB, 468x299) Anonymous 107/12/21(Mon)19:27:28 No.110957803 >> >be English man >love Football >spent £1000 on black market to get ticket >once in a lifetime chance to see England win the cup >history is to be made >stadium packed with people like me >great atmosphere >until the very end >team loses against spaghettis >again no cup >got corona

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Anon is not the brightest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/20(Sun)13:51:57 No.134877799 are they filming DBZ in jail.jpg 74 KB JPG why are they all dressed like goku?
: Anonymous 06/07/20(Sun)13:51:57 No.134877799 are they filming DBZ in jail.jpg 74 KB JPG why are they all dressed like goku?

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Anon is Not The Asshole | /r/Greentext


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Anon doesn't tip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)19:15:35 No.15680993 >go to store to pick up pizza >about to sign receipt >see they circled in 10% tip >change it to 0 >cashier rolls her eyes, hands me the pizza 31 KB JPG >hear one of them say whisper 'wow, did he really put 0' as I'm walking out Did I do something wrong? It's not like they delivered the pizza to my house. Should I have tipped in this situation?
: Anonymous 03/01/21(Mon)19:15:35 No.15680993 >go to store to pick up pizza >about to sign receipt >see they circled in 10% tip >change it to 0 >cashier rolls her eyes, hands me the pizza 31 KB JPG >hear one of them say whisper 'wow, did he really put 0' as I'm walking out Did I do something wrong? It's not like they delivered the pizza to my house. Should I have tipped in this situation?

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Anon is mongolian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 790130879 Acum 1 h ... >Be me >Have aspergers >Friends bully me about it all the time >Saying I'm mongolian >Saying I have retard diploma from doctor >Gonna prove them wrong with a 23andme test 5,5 kB PNG >Notmongolian.png >Friend laughs >Says I took the wrong test >Should have gotten 24andme >mfw O REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 790130879 Acum 1 h ... >Be me >Have aspergers >Friends bully me about it all the time >Saying I'm mongolian >Saying I have retard diploma from doctor >Gonna prove them wrong with a 23andme test 5,5 kB PNG >Notmongolian.png >Friend laughs >Says I took the wrong test >Should have gotten 24andme >mfw O REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon is a dumbass that doesn't do research | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)10:52:42 No.858907542 [Reply] > >>858908091 Failed attempt thread: post your attempts, and why they were just attempts, I've got a couple and they were all foiled by my own stupidity. here goes. >be me, 16 suicidal for irrelevant reasons >been shooting a couple times, mostly .22s and S&W revolvers because fudd town >come up with a plan >steal my dad's Colt revolver, one 357, and his pain meds >go up to my room >load revolver >eat pills >wait for pills to kick in >gun to head >pull trigger >click >look at cylinder >in my drug induced stupor think that a miracle has just occurred and that the cartridge switched chambers >years later read that Colt revolvers rotate opposite from S&W revolvers I'll post the other, equally stupid story if anyone gives a s---
Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)10:52:42 No.858907542 [Reply] > >>858908091 Failed attempt thread: post your attempts, and why they were just attempts, I've got a couple and they were all foiled by my own stupidity. here goes. >be me, 16 suicidal for irrelevant reasons >been shooting a couple times, mostly .22s and S&W revolvers because fudd town >come up with a plan >steal my dad's Colt revolver, one 357, and his pain meds >go up to my room >load revolver >eat pills >wait for pills to kick in >gun to head >pull trigger >click >look at cylinder >in my drug induced stupor think that a miracle has just occurred and that the cartridge switched chambers >years later read that Colt revolvers rotate opposite from S&W revolvers I'll post the other, equally stupid story if anyone gives a s---

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Anon makes a profit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/05/21(Tue)22:58:00 No.844090720 >get knock at front door >girl scouts selling candy bars >1 dollar each >buy whole box >sell the candy bars to neighbors for 3 bucks a pop 33 KB JPG >profit
: Anonymous 01/05/21(Tue)22:58:00 No.844090720 >get knock at front door >girl scouts selling candy bars >1 dollar each >buy whole box >sell the candy bars to neighbors for 3 bucks a pop 33 KB JPG >profit

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Anon has a TikTok account | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)13:38:29 No.64549160 >mom calls me >tells me a colleague told her about TikTok >she likes it >she wants my profile cause she remembers I had the app to >l actually use it for a secret femboy profile 153 KB PNG How do I get out of this? She would never accept me dressing up like this. And how do I prevent her from finding my videos on accident. This is the first time I had fun and felt comfortable in my body, why is she going to ruin it again.
: Anonymous 07/13/21(Tue)13:38:29 No.64549160 >mom calls me >tells me a colleague told her about TikTok >she likes it >she wants my profile cause she remembers I had the app to >l actually use it for a secret femboy profile 153 KB PNG How do I get out of this? She would never accept me dressing up like this. And how do I prevent her from finding my videos on accident. This is the first time I had fun and felt comfortable in my body, why is she going to ruin it again.

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Anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)18:34:32 No.858876289 >be me browsing 4chan >find good post for reddit >read into it and realize its the dude that taught me about 4chan >hes complaining to 4chan about how im getting more karma then him >upload his post 9 KB JPG >get 500 and counting upvotes >mfw im a genius
: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)18:34:32 No.858876289 >be me browsing 4chan >find good post for reddit >read into it and realize its the dude that taught me about 4chan >hes complaining to 4chan about how im getting more karma then him >upload his post 9 KB JPG >get 500 and counting upvotes >mfw im a genius

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Anon is suave | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)21:17:24 No.64544542 >at mall >standing in the middle of nowhere because dumbass >cute cashier says hi >retardationkicksin.mp4 >say I didn't order anything >she blushes, looks embarrassed and 61 KB JPG leaves Smoothest man alive
: Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)21:17:24 No.64544542 >at mall >standing in the middle of nowhere because dumbass >cute cashier says hi >retardationkicksin.mp4 >say I didn't order anything >she blushes, looks embarrassed and 61 KB JPG leaves Smoothest man alive

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anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

>be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up 42 KB JPG to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy
>be me >13 >social outcast with no social skills who everyone makes fun of >at a school party >everyone's dancing, I just awkwardly stand there >a stacy from my class comes up 42 KB JPG to me >asks me to dance with a smug look on her face >autism kicks in >just stand there and stare at her for a solid 5 seconds >then just turn and walk the other way as fast as I can >next day in class >overhear the girl talking with her friends >hear her say that her plan was to embarass me but got embarrassed herself for being rejected by such a lowlife >mfw my autism inadvertently made me look like a chad >take that stacy

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related
>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related

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anon needs a massage | /r/Greentext

File: 1646114A-3DED-435F-98F6-C(...).png (437 KB, 860x834) O Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)20:55:04 No.858884029 [Reply] >be me >poorfag >have sore back >want to get massage but can't afford it >go on gay sites >find a guy giving free massages >tell him I only want massage nothing more >says okay >go to his place >get massage >asks if he can make me c-- >f--- it free orgasm >get head as well >just imagined it was a girl >he was better than most girls anyway >mfw it was all free
File: 1646114A-3DED-435F-98F6-C(...).png (437 KB, 860x834) O Anonymous 07/12/21(Mon)20:55:04 No.858884029 [Reply] >be me >poorfag >have sore back >want to get massage but can't afford it >go on gay sites >find a guy giving free massages >tell him I only want massage nothing more >says okay >go to his place >get massage >asks if he can make me c-- >f--- it free orgasm >get head as well >just imagined it was a girl >he was better than most girls anyway >mfw it was all free

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Anon's girlfriend won't stop farting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: qcqw+HFF 07/09/20(Thu)23:57:38 No.267224774 >gf keep farting during sex >i tell her to stop >stop what >stop farting >im not farting >keep f------ her >she keeps farting 167 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 7/3bbaxz 07/10/20(Fri)00:00:08 No.267225026 Best thread on 4chan right now >>267225105 #
: Anonymous (ID: qcqw+HFF 07/09/20(Thu)23:57:38 No.267224774 >gf keep farting during sex >i tell her to stop >stop what >stop farting >im not farting >keep f------ her >she keeps farting 167 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: 7/3bbaxz 07/10/20(Fri)00:00:08 No.267225026 Best thread on 4chan right now >>267225105 #

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Anon has a younger brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/15/15(Wed)22:26.34 No.628235434 >>628236559 >be me >having 18th birthday at home >pretty chill time with friends >brother asks if me I want to see his Minecraft world >tell him to go away >see he's hurt >feel guilty and say l'll check it out later >never check it >a few months later, brother gets leukemia >pray he gets better >he doesn't >brother dies >feels like s--- >tum 21 >packing stuff up for college >notice brother's old laptop >for some reason, remembers broken promise >charge up computer >boot up Minecraft >see world named "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANON!!" >load up world >beginning to tear up at this point >world loads >look around and see cake everywhere >giant pixel cake in front of me >balloons across the sky >turn around and see "HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY" built with blocks >under b-day message is a sign >sign says "happy birthday anon. You're the best brother ever. :DDD" >f------ cry for hours
Anonymous 07/15/15(Wed)22:26.34 No.628235434 >>628236559 >be me >having 18th birthday at home >pretty chill time with friends >brother asks if me I want to see his Minecraft world >tell him to go away >see he's hurt >feel guilty and say l'll check it out later >never check it >a few months later, brother gets leukemia >pray he gets better >he doesn't >brother dies >feels like s--- >tum 21 >packing stuff up for college >notice brother's old laptop >for some reason, remembers broken promise >charge up computer >boot up Minecraft >see world named "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANON!!" >load up world >beginning to tear up at this point >world loads >look around and see cake everywhere >giant pixel cake in front of me >balloons across the sky >turn around and see "HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY" built with blocks >under b-day message is a sign >sign says "happy birthday anon. You're the best brother ever. :DDD" >f------ cry for hours

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Pax Romana | /r/Greentext

File: 1625073256903.png (1.02 MB, 1239x788) Anonymous E 07/12/21(Mon)07:19:06 >>110943077 >>110944840 >>110945589 >>110945 >>110949762 >>110949794 >>110951813 >It's coming home >It's coming ho... >It's comi.... >lt...
File: 1625073256903.png (1.02 MB, 1239x788) Anonymous E 07/12/21(Mon)07:19:06 >>110943077 >>110944840 >>110945589 >>110945 >>110949762 >>110949794 >>110951813 >It's coming home >It's coming ho... >It's comi.... >lt...

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Anon hates karma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/19(Sat)01:04:52 No.806179622 >Be you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 KB PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 08/03/19(Sat)01:04:52 No.806179622 >Be you >Reddit F-- >Looking for some juicy morsels for r/greentext to raise your karma by 10 like the sniveling dog that you are, waiting for your 4chan overlords to allow you to glimpse at our scraps. 424 KB PNG >Post this one f-----. I'll be watching. 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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