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Anon goes to england | /r/Greentext

File: 1336681229 gif-(940 KB, 320x286, dont gif) Anonymous 05/10/12(Thu)16:20 No. 12528401 >go to england >head to restaurant to try and preserve gainz >my watch is set to my countries timezone >ask someone what the time is >TAAM? WANK MY ARSE IN UR FACE C--- >have no idea what he just said to me >notice he doesn't have a watch on >no one in england has a watch >big ben starts to chime >everyone stops what they're doing to count the bongs >man crashes his car trying to count the bongs >waitress drops my order on the floor trying to count her fingers >man running down the street Ol ITS 7 BONG >mfw
File: 1336681229 gif-(940 KB, 320x286, dont gif) Anonymous 05/10/12(Thu)16:20 No. 12528401 >go to england >head to restaurant to try and preserve gainz >my watch is set to my countries timezone >ask someone what the time is >TAAM? WANK MY ARSE IN UR FACE C--- >have no idea what he just said to me >notice he doesn't have a watch on >no one in england has a watch >big ben starts to chime >everyone stops what they're doing to count the bongs >man crashes his car trying to count the bongs >waitress drops my order on the floor trying to count her fingers >man running down the street Ol ITS 7 BONG >mfw

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The good dinosaur | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)01:49:36 No.153042724 chadranosaurus.jpg 52 KB JPG >why yes, I D0 kill long neck bitches in front of their children thus traumatizing them for life, how can you tell? >>153043802 # >>153044890 # >>153054320 # >>153054662 # >>153060185 #
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)01:49:36 No.153042724 chadranosaurus.jpg 52 KB JPG >why yes, I D0 kill long neck bitches in front of their children thus traumatizing them for life, how can you tell? >>153043802 # >>153044890 # >>153054320 # >>153054662 # >>153060185 #

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Anon LARPs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)08:26:47 No.64447176 >girlfriend has a twin sister >sometimes I pretend I don't know who she is and grab her ass from behind and kiss her >then act shocked when she turns around 48 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)08:26:47 No.64447176 >girlfriend has a twin sister >sometimes I pretend I don't know who she is and grab her ass from behind and kiss her >then act shocked when she turns around 48 KB JPG

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Anon makes food | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)00:17:03 No.858389497 File: e022167d21e244ccd88bd5b5f(--.).jpg (28 KB, 474x381) >>858375987 (OP). >4 years old me >Retarded AF >"Hmmm, body transforms food into poop" >Have the most brilliant big brain time in my life >Get to school, go quickly to the bathroom and dump the biggest turd i've ever s------ >"Obviously the body should turn poop into food" >Told 2 friends of mine if the wanted to make some pizza in the bathroom >Teacher is sleeping 24/7, we are little kids after all, what could go wrong? >Explain my theory to the other 2 kids >hesgotapoint.jpg >I'm not gonna eat, I'm still full (thank god I wasn't hungry) >tfw the teacher found us in the bathroom as I watched 2 of my friends eating s---
Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)00:17:03 No.858389497 File: e022167d21e244ccd88bd5b5f(--.).jpg (28 KB, 474x381) >>858375987 (OP). >4 years old me >Retarded AF >"Hmmm, body transforms food into poop" >Have the most brilliant big brain time in my life >Get to school, go quickly to the bathroom and dump the biggest turd i've ever s------ >"Obviously the body should turn poop into food" >Told 2 friends of mine if the wanted to make some pizza in the bathroom >Teacher is sleeping 24/7, we are little kids after all, what could go wrong? >Explain my theory to the other 2 kids >hesgotapoint.jpg >I'm not gonna eat, I'm still full (thank god I wasn't hungry) >tfw the teacher found us in the bathroom as I watched 2 of my friends eating s---

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Anon blows his chance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)20:54:00 No.62431079 >be 19, KV >few months working crappy retail job stocking shelves but great coworkers >occasionally make small talk with hot blonde coworker 36 KB JPG >get hard as concrete + precum when I talk to her >give my two weeks after finding a better job >last day >end of out shifts >something inside me says to stop being a little punk bitch and to ask her out (first time asking out a girl too) >ask her if she's "interested in going out sometime" >she says "Oh uh yeah" and gives me her phone number >"Cool l'll text you, see you" >text her "Hey it's anon from work" but she never responded This was a month ago. I get that she wasn't interested but did I do this correctly?
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)20:54:00 No.62431079 >be 19, KV >few months working crappy retail job stocking shelves but great coworkers >occasionally make small talk with hot blonde coworker 36 KB JPG >get hard as concrete + precum when I talk to her >give my two weeks after finding a better job >last day >end of out shifts >something inside me says to stop being a little punk bitch and to ask her out (first time asking out a girl too) >ask her if she's "interested in going out sometime" >she says "Oh uh yeah" and gives me her phone number >"Cool l'll text you, see you" >text her "Hey it's anon from work" but she never responded This was a month ago. I get that she wasn't interested but did I do this correctly?

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Anon goes to a therapist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)11:42:09 No.64361300 >it's been over 6 months, did you even started any tasks we agreed on? >lt's almost July and you not even started a single one? >so you just browse mindlessly on that website? "four chain"? >can you explain the term 216 KB PNG "shitposting" to me? >anon you have to set the direction of your life. >You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. hey, half a year wasted, cheers to the next 6 months i guess...
: Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)11:42:09 No.64361300 >it's been over 6 months, did you even started any tasks we agreed on? >lt's almost July and you not even started a single one? >so you just browse mindlessly on that website? "four chain"? >can you explain the term 216 KB PNG "shitposting" to me? >anon you have to set the direction of your life. >You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. hey, half a year wasted, cheers to the next 6 months i guess...

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Anon is an idiot. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)19:52:47 No.858370457 >be me >friends with girl I have a crush on >live in s----- small town >every year our town has a small 4th of July festival >"hey anon, wanna go with 18 KB JPG me this year?" >sure.jpeg >drive to festival >tons of people >my autism can't handle this >sit by myself like the autist I am >wait for her for an hour and a half >waiting for her still >"sorry anon I can't make it" >"oh ok haha that's fine" Why did I ever think I could date someone.
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)19:52:47 No.858370457 >be me >friends with girl I have a crush on >live in s----- small town >every year our town has a small 4th of July festival >"hey anon, wanna go with 18 KB JPG me this year?" >sure.jpeg >drive to festival >tons of people >my autism can't handle this >sit by myself like the autist I am >wait for her for an hour and a half >waiting for her still >"sorry anon I can't make it" >"oh ok haha that's fine" Why did I ever think I could date someone.

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Anon has girl troubles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)15:43:42 No.64440174 >be me, a lonely incel in summer class >2 week ago someone from class actually asked me out >somewhat ugly 3/10, pretty fat, but say yes because l can use a practice gf >bear with practice gf for 2 weeks, still 28 KB JPG don't kiss her cuz ugly >go to a night club together, a qt 6/10 asks me to dance >lean in to kiss the 6/10 but she pulls away looking disgusted >practice gf start to cry and runs out of club what should I do /r9k/, do I still have a chance with the 6/10? maybe she'll be at the same nightclub again next weekend
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)15:43:42 No.64440174 >be me, a lonely incel in summer class >2 week ago someone from class actually asked me out >somewhat ugly 3/10, pretty fat, but say yes because l can use a practice gf >bear with practice gf for 2 weeks, still 28 KB JPG don't kiss her cuz ugly >go to a night club together, a qt 6/10 asks me to dance >lean in to kiss the 6/10 but she pulls away looking disgusted >practice gf start to cry and runs out of club what should I do /r9k/, do I still have a chance with the 6/10? maybe she'll be at the same nightclub again next weekend

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anon does it hands free | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)16:33:31 No.858336695 >>858324859 (OP) >15 >Visit Yellowstone NP with family >We have food in the restaurant >l gotta take a sit so go to the toilet > Two stalls >Check first it's overflowing with s--- and tissue >Open door of second stall >Woman in her 30 sitting there >l think I'm in the wrong bathroom but she says she's wrong but she wants to stay and watch >I'm sorta creeped out but also suddenly horny >l say ok and sit down >She's standing in the corner of the stall watching >l'm super anxious so I can't pee or poop or anything just looking at her nervously >She says it's ok she knows what can help >She kneels down and grabs my d--- outta the bowl >Starts sucking >F--- I'm getting molested by a cougar >C-- in her mouth after a minute or so, turd flops out >She says I'm pretty cool and leaves >l return to my family >Sister asks if I was jerking off cuz I took so long >Smugly say I don't need to j------- lol >As we leave I see the women getting fries for her family
Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)16:33:31 No.858336695 >>858324859 (OP) >15 >Visit Yellowstone NP with family >We have food in the restaurant >l gotta take a sit so go to the toilet > Two stalls >Check first it's overflowing with s--- and tissue >Open door of second stall >Woman in her 30 sitting there >l think I'm in the wrong bathroom but she says she's wrong but she wants to stay and watch >I'm sorta creeped out but also suddenly horny >l say ok and sit down >She's standing in the corner of the stall watching >l'm super anxious so I can't pee or poop or anything just looking at her nervously >She says it's ok she knows what can help >She kneels down and grabs my d--- outta the bowl >Starts sucking >F--- I'm getting molested by a cougar >C-- in her mouth after a minute or so, turd flops out >She says I'm pretty cool and leaves >l return to my family >Sister asks if I was jerking off cuz I took so long >Smugly say I don't need to j------- lol >As we leave I see the women getting fries for her family

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anon gets mired | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)20:38:30 No.62414397 >>62411966 (OP) # >Covering regular carriers route >Old lady comes out and grabs her mail >oh are you the new carrier >no just covering ks route today 32 KB JPG shes on vaction >oh thats too bad I could get used to seeing you *winks* thats as good as it gets boys
: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)20:38:30 No.62414397 >>62411966 (OP) # >Covering regular carriers route >Old lady comes out and grabs her mail >oh are you the new carrier >no just covering ks route today 32 KB JPG shes on vaction >oh thats too bad I could get used to seeing you *winks* thats as good as it gets boys

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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous (ID: bsbVnCJC )LI 07/04/21(Sun)20:50:37 No.328749308 File: wojak ngmi macdick.png (246 KB, 631x595) >>328746458 (OP) >go to the gym >see a qt working out >we lock eyes >*boner activated* NG MI >everyone notices my r----------- >banned from gym >tfw my own penis literally rises up against me
O Anonymous (ID: bsbVnCJC )LI 07/04/21(Sun)20:50:37 No.328749308 File: wojak ngmi macdick.png (246 KB, 631x595) >>328746458 (OP) >go to the gym >see a qt working out >we lock eyes >*boner activated* NG MI >everyone notices my r----------- >banned from gym >tfw my own penis literally rises up against me

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Anon's girl finds the cum room | /r/Greentext

No.858348231 07/04/21(Sun)13:00:51 1583890786215.jpg JPG 15.5 KiB 500x375 >have girl over >tell her to not go in ONE room in my house >she goes in it while im in the kitchen getting food >its my semen deposit room >plastic shoeboxes and tubs filled up with semen >room isnt even halfway filled, she still freaks out >anon why do you have a c-- deposit room >where the hell else am i supposed to put it all dumb bitch
No.858348231 07/04/21(Sun)13:00:51 1583890786215.jpg JPG 15.5 KiB 500x375 >have girl over >tell her to not go in ONE room in my house >she goes in it while im in the kitchen getting food >its my semen deposit room >plastic shoeboxes and tubs filled up with semen >room isnt even halfway filled, she still freaks out >anon why do you have a c-- deposit room >where the hell else am i supposed to put it all dumb bitch

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anon is american | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:48:57 No.858354928 >be me, american >taking night classes at the local high school so i can get a phd and earn $15 an hour >school shooter enters classroom the third time this week 59 KB JPG >shoots me, i go unconscious >wake up in hospital, apparently my thirteen inches of chest fat stopped the bullet from hitting my heart >sell house, car and dog to pay hospital debt >finish treatment after a week >get shot by cop and die
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)21:48:57 No.858354928 >be me, american >taking night classes at the local high school so i can get a phd and earn $15 an hour >school shooter enters classroom the third time this week 59 KB JPG >shoots me, i go unconscious >wake up in hospital, apparently my thirteen inches of chest fat stopped the bullet from hitting my heart >sell house, car and dog to pay hospital debt >finish treatment after a week >get shot by cop and die

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Punching bag | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)06:49:26 No.64435743 >back in highschool, had a bully who used to torment me by kicking me in the testicles >years later, go to the doctor for some constant lethargy Long story short >there's a massive amount of scar 322 KB PNG tissue in my testicles, and it's very likely that I'm infertile >also will likely have hormonal issues the rest of my life I don't really know why I'm posting this, but I'm genuinely considering killing the person who did this to me. What really do have to lose?
: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)06:49:26 No.64435743 >back in highschool, had a bully who used to torment me by kicking me in the testicles >years later, go to the doctor for some constant lethargy Long story short >there's a massive amount of scar 322 KB PNG tissue in my testicles, and it's very likely that I'm infertile >also will likely have hormonal issues the rest of my life I don't really know why I'm posting this, but I'm genuinely considering killing the person who did this to me. What really do have to lose?

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Anon thanks Lord Todd | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me 255 KB PNG >lt has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd
: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)22:53:19 No.842330767 >Be me >Playin Fallout >Come across a deathclaw >Had a sex mod installed for s---- 'n giggles >Forgot I had it installed >Deathclaw f------ assrapes me 255 KB PNG >lt has custom sound >mfw Thanks, Todd

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Anon has had enough. | /r/Greentext

File: pepewithgunjpg (7 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)13:06:58 No.858330042 >Trainee position >Experienced required
File: pepewithgunjpg (7 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)13:06:58 No.858330042 >Trainee position >Experienced required

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anon flirts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)13:57:03 No.62401984 40055F6F-9246-4AC6-8AB2-502AEECA287F.jpg 33 KB JPG >enter gym >see cute receptionist >lock eyes >mimick my jaw dropping on floor and eyes popping out >"AWOOGAAAAAAA" >she averts gaze out of shyness I'm asking her out next time I'm there
: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)13:57:03 No.62401984 40055F6F-9246-4AC6-8AB2-502AEECA287F.jpg 33 KB JPG >enter gym >see cute receptionist >lock eyes >mimick my jaw dropping on floor and eyes popping out >"AWOOGAAAAAAA" >she averts gaze out of shyness I'm asking her out next time I'm there

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)00:00:48 No.858335154 >Be me EUROPEAN AMERICAN >Wake up >Grab pistol >Chamber check to make sure pistol fairy no steal bullits >They're still there thank goodness >Smell my pistol mmm metal and bullit 158 KB JPG smell >Kiss pistol put back in holster ..GOD BLESS AMERICA...
: Anonymous 07/05/21(Mon)00:00:48 No.858335154 >Be me EUROPEAN AMERICAN >Wake up >Grab pistol >Chamber check to make sure pistol fairy no steal bullits >They're still there thank goodness >Smell my pistol mmm metal and bullit 158 KB JPG smell >Kiss pistol put back in holster ..GOD BLESS AMERICA...

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Anon powerlifts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/29/20(Tue)14:08:53 No.57664620 >be me >travelling australia >check in at hostel >hostel has makeshift gym >bench, bar, dumbbells, that's it >few guys are taking turns benching in gym >competing for most reps >only 1 plate >guys get animated, shouting, cheering >people by the pool notice, head over to check out what's going on >crowd of people now in the shed where gym is >for one plate bench >one >this is my moment >record is 17 reps >"mind if I try lads?" >fake fatigue at 12 reps >pretend to only just get 16th rep up >long pause after 16th rep >go for 17th >strain and cough and spit up to half way >drunk guys going crazy >literal crowd of people watching me bench one plate >pretend to fail 17th rep >ask for sip of beer for energy with bar resting on my chest >girl pours vodka in my mouth >that's better >fast rep the f--- out of the bar for 29 reps >become literal hero for the evening for one plate bench >alpha male of the hostel >for one f------ plate >8/10 french qt spent the night in my bunk best day of my life >>57664702 # >>57664903 # >>57665247 # >>57668417 # >>57676106 # >>57677707 #
: Anonymous 09/29/20(Tue)14:08:53 No.57664620 >be me >travelling australia >check in at hostel >hostel has makeshift gym >bench, bar, dumbbells, that's it >few guys are taking turns benching in gym >competing for most reps >only 1 plate >guys get animated, shouting, cheering >people by the pool notice, head over to check out what's going on >crowd of people now in the shed where gym is >for one plate bench >one >this is my moment >record is 17 reps >"mind if I try lads?" >fake fatigue at 12 reps >pretend to only just get 16th rep up >long pause after 16th rep >go for 17th >strain and cough and spit up to half way >drunk guys going crazy >literal crowd of people watching me bench one plate >pretend to fail 17th rep >ask for sip of beer for energy with bar resting on my chest >girl pours vodka in my mouth >that's better >fast rep the f--- out of the bar for 29 reps >become literal hero for the evening for one plate bench >alpha male of the hostel >for one f------ plate >8/10 french qt spent the night in my bunk best day of my life >>57664702 # >>57664903 # >>57665247 # >>57668417 # >>57676106 # >>57677707 #

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Anon is a smart fella | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 01/02/19(Wed)20:45:00 No.50197127 >be me >not chad >join cuckold community >lots of girls are looking for guys they can cuck, it's their fetish 28 KB JPG >a lot of REALLY HOT chicks end up messaging me >get one to start dating me >the deal is she f---- me and is free to f--- others on the side and sometimes I have to watch >I lose my virginity to her >l immediately go no contact on her and start messaging the other girls through this community >f----- 4 chicks out of my league and it has only been 1 month since I joined. Who here /high IQ/?
E Anonymous 01/02/19(Wed)20:45:00 No.50197127 >be me >not chad >join cuckold community >lots of girls are looking for guys they can cuck, it's their fetish 28 KB JPG >a lot of REALLY HOT chicks end up messaging me >get one to start dating me >the deal is she f---- me and is free to f--- others on the side and sometimes I have to watch >I lose my virginity to her >l immediately go no contact on her and start messaging the other girls through this community >f----- 4 chicks out of my league and it has only been 1 month since I joined. Who here /high IQ/?

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