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Anon struggles with metric system | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a good son | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)00:56:36 No.858158364 >be me >NEET f----- living with parents >dad is middle aged >sprains his ankle at work >stays in bed all day and needs help with a lot of 22 KB JPG things >help him out all day >make him tea >watch old TV shows with him and laugh along with him >"you're treating your dad good kid. I love ya" Love you too dad
: Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)00:56:36 No.858158364 >be me >NEET f----- living with parents >dad is middle aged >sprains his ankle at work >stays in bed all day and needs help with a lot of 22 KB JPG things >help him out all day >make him tea >watch old TV shows with him and laugh along with him >"you're treating your dad good kid. I love ya" Love you too dad

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Anon says fat fart | /r/Greentext

File: th.jpg (25 KB, 474x474) Fat fart Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)00:40:33 No.9760464 ► >Aunt visits our house >10yo. me thinking saying fat fart randomly is >funny for no reason >Aunt gets ready to leave home >10yo. me says "fat fart" >Get spanked in the face by mom because >she thinks its an insult fat fart
File: th.jpg (25 KB, 474x474) Fat fart Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)00:40:33 No.9760464 ► >Aunt visits our house >10yo. me thinking saying fat fart randomly is >funny for no reason >Aunt gets ready to leave home >10yo. me says "fat fart" >Get spanked in the face by mom because >she thinks its an insult fat fart

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anon almost has an accident | /r/Greentext

File: imagem_2021-07-01_155821.png (200 KB, 501x412) O Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:58:26 No.858107619 [Reply] >>858107660 >be me 40 minutes ago >shopping in supermarket >out of nowhere huge urge to take a s--- >ignore it >urge becomes bigger and bigger >start sweating and legs feel weak >pay my stuff and start walking fast to the bathroom >i can feel it coming out >clench my ass so hard not even wi-fi could pass between my ass cheeks >arrive in the stall >at the same time as im sitting i let it out >s--- for like 5 minutes, it hurts like hell >can feel tear in my eye >but at least i made it on time
File: imagem_2021-07-01_155821.png (200 KB, 501x412) O Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:58:26 No.858107619 [Reply] >>858107660 >be me 40 minutes ago >shopping in supermarket >out of nowhere huge urge to take a s--- >ignore it >urge becomes bigger and bigger >start sweating and legs feel weak >pay my stuff and start walking fast to the bathroom >i can feel it coming out >clench my ass so hard not even wi-fi could pass between my ass cheeks >arrive in the stall >at the same time as im sitting i let it out >s--- for like 5 minutes, it hurts like hell >can feel tear in my eye >but at least i made it on time

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Anon cracks open a drink | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)20:37:05 No.858143346 FAMOUS OLDE TY ROOT BEER >out on a hot summer's Bang's day >crack open an ice cold SINCE 1898 ITS COOD soda >*sip* >"Aaaah, nothing like a refreshing Bang's root 85 KB JPG beer"
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)20:37:05 No.858143346 FAMOUS OLDE TY ROOT BEER >out on a hot summer's Bang's day >crack open an ice cold SINCE 1898 ITS COOD soda >*sip* >"Aaaah, nothing like a refreshing Bang's root 85 KB JPG beer"

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Femanon disappoints her friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)20:24:21 No.858146223 >be me, highschool female >go to rich private school where the ceilings are high and the students are higher >not too popular but not unpopular, have a group of several friends >have very different interests with them 10 KB JPG >really like music, playlists with 2k+ songs, listening to music basically whenever im not watching youtube or something >friends say we should make a group roadtrip playlist where we all add our own songs >a bit nervous, tell them that they definitely wouldn't like my music >they're really nice and encourage me to put my own songs >obviously i'm excited as hell to be sharing my interests with them for once >go home, spend several hours just browsing through my playlists to pick the most normal songs i think that they'll like >barely manage to muster the confidence to put some in the group playlist after a long time of thinking it over >later, we're on the freeway, everyone is chatting with the playlist on in the background >mostly basic, olivia rodrigo and tiktok songs >one of mine comes on >the car goes quiet, i realize something is wrong >internally crying but i don't say anything >friend looks over to me >mfw she asks if we could skip it >mfw she didn't even have to ask if it was my song, they already knew >mfw i realize they haven't skipped any other songs what the f--- is wrong with me? why can't i just be normal for once?
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)20:24:21 No.858146223 >be me, highschool female >go to rich private school where the ceilings are high and the students are higher >not too popular but not unpopular, have a group of several friends >have very different interests with them 10 KB JPG >really like music, playlists with 2k+ songs, listening to music basically whenever im not watching youtube or something >friends say we should make a group roadtrip playlist where we all add our own songs >a bit nervous, tell them that they definitely wouldn't like my music >they're really nice and encourage me to put my own songs >obviously i'm excited as hell to be sharing my interests with them for once >go home, spend several hours just browsing through my playlists to pick the most normal songs i think that they'll like >barely manage to muster the confidence to put some in the group playlist after a long time of thinking it over >later, we're on the freeway, everyone is chatting with the playlist on in the background >mostly basic, olivia rodrigo and tiktok songs >one of mine comes on >the car goes quiet, i realize something is wrong >internally crying but i don't say anything >friend looks over to me >mfw she asks if we could skip it >mfw she didn't even have to ask if it was my song, they already knew >mfw i realize they haven't skipped any other songs what the f--- is wrong with me? why can't i just be normal for once?

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Anon finds true Bliss | /r/Greentext

File: download.jpg (8 KB, 252x200) O Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)01:26:21 No.858138933 ► >Live In the good part of east Europe >Whole family farms for living >Good Income >Good living conditions >Completly ignore Politics >Have good internet >Life good >Even if war no troops will pass through because too irrelevant >Last time a solider been here was in 1944 when a soviet stole a cow >Basically live in Isolated Heaven
File: download.jpg (8 KB, 252x200) O Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)01:26:21 No.858138933 ► >Live In the good part of east Europe >Whole family farms for living >Good Income >Good living conditions >Completly ignore Politics >Have good internet >Life good >Even if war no troops will pass through because too irrelevant >Last time a solider been here was in 1944 when a soviet stole a cow >Basically live in Isolated Heaven

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Is there anybody out there? | /r/Greentext

File: ithurtsithurtsithurts.jpg (120 KB, 1125x1118) O Ivl Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)19:13:42 No.562193650 [Reply] >Be me >14 >Playing Team Fortress 2 back in 2013 >Little kid opens his mic >Asks how to jump with the rocket launcher >Consider making fun of him, because l'm an edgy little s--- >Someone else does, shouts at him, calling him names >He immediately goes quiet >I feel awful that that could've been me >Decide to add him, he accepts >Tell him that nobody should treat him that way, and if he wants to play with me, l'll help him with everything >Teach him how to rocket Jump >He asks tons of questions, I help him out >We eventually get to talking about life >He's 9, and his name is Brandon >Months go by >They tell me all about how Brandon raves about us playing together, how I'm like a big brother he never got to have >Every day he's excited to get home from school and play TF2 with me >Offers to set up a surprise LAN party for him after we find out we live close together >He calls me his best friend >Feel socially anxious, nervous of being seen as weird for being friends with a kid >Months later, I start to get tired of him >He's always asking me to play, and I'm getting edgier >Start telling him we'll play later, that I need to do other stuff >Eventually stop bothering to even manually go offline on Steam, just playing after telling him I can't >After a month of ignoring him, he stops asking >He goes offline for good >Years later, I feel guilty and leave a comment on his profile, telling him I miss him and would love to play more >Realize he left a comment on my profile I never saw, right after I started ignoring him >"they said mean thing to me, I dont want to play tf2 anymore i wish u would come and play again so id have fun" >My heart sinks >Start to check his profile semi-regularly >He has now been offline for 6 years I'm sorry Brandon, I should've done better. I miss you so much buddy. I really did have fun with you, I really did, I promise.
File: ithurtsithurtsithurts.jpg (120 KB, 1125x1118) O Ivl Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)19:13:42 No.562193650 [Reply] >Be me >14 >Playing Team Fortress 2 back in 2013 >Little kid opens his mic >Asks how to jump with the rocket launcher >Consider making fun of him, because l'm an edgy little s--- >Someone else does, shouts at him, calling him names >He immediately goes quiet >I feel awful that that could've been me >Decide to add him, he accepts >Tell him that nobody should treat him that way, and if he wants to play with me, l'll help him with everything >Teach him how to rocket Jump >He asks tons of questions, I help him out >We eventually get to talking about life >He's 9, and his name is Brandon >Months go by >They tell me all about how Brandon raves about us playing together, how I'm like a big brother he never got to have >Every day he's excited to get home from school and play TF2 with me >Offers to set up a surprise LAN party for him after we find out we live close together >He calls me his best friend >Feel socially anxious, nervous of being seen as weird for being friends with a kid >Months later, I start to get tired of him >He's always asking me to play, and I'm getting edgier >Start telling him we'll play later, that I need to do other stuff >Eventually stop bothering to even manually go offline on Steam, just playing after telling him I can't >After a month of ignoring him, he stops asking >He goes offline for good >Years later, I feel guilty and leave a comment on his profile, telling him I miss him and would love to play more >Realize he left a comment on my profile I never saw, right after I started ignoring him >"they said mean thing to me, I dont want to play tf2 anymore i wish u would come and play again so id have fun" >My heart sinks >Start to check his profile semi-regularly >He has now been offline for 6 years I'm sorry Brandon, I should've done better. I miss you so much buddy. I really did have fun with you, I really did, I promise.

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Anon listens to Burial | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)22:39:13 No.858129330 >be me >no gf, friends talk to me rarely >sad >turn on music >cry thanks, Burial 38 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)22:39:13 No.858129330 >be me >no gf, friends talk to me rarely >sad >turn on music >cry thanks, Burial 38 KB JPG

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Anon is Hitler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)23:13:32 No.45980722 >>45980617 # >tfw occasionally have dreams where I am Hitler >l'm usually just managing the country and the war and getting stressed out or having a meeting with generals >had one really weird one where I was meeting with several other Hitlers from other universes/timelines so we could try to synchronize our victory, but I was the weak link I think I was Hitler in a past life guys what do
: Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)23:13:32 No.45980722 >>45980617 # >tfw occasionally have dreams where I am Hitler >l'm usually just managing the country and the war and getting stressed out or having a meeting with generals >had one really weird one where I was meeting with several other Hitlers from other universes/timelines so we could try to synchronize our victory, but I was the weak link I think I was Hitler in a past life guys what do

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Anon has a dear friend | /r/Greentext

>be 14 >have a best friend >plays vidya, talk girls, a genuinely good friend. >about a month ago his mom passed away >terminal cancer, horrible thing >a week before his birthday his dad 50 KB JPG reached out to me >confusion.jpeg >"hey anon, it's friendanon's dad, I know you too are pretty close and next week is his birthday, figured we could do something nice for him." >l agree >"that's great, as you know ever since friendanon's mom passed away he's been pretty bummed out so I thought we could make something to remind him of her." >wtfwhybutok.png >agree to help him out because friendanon is my best friend. >mfw his dad asked me to bring a can of tomato sauce >whatthefuck.exe >fast forward to his birthday party >we just hanging out, some friends and family there just talking and congratulating friendanon, pretty cool b'day party >friendanon's dad clears his throat >"ehm so as you all know it's friendanon's birthday today, so for some time I've been thinking what would make anon's birthday memorable for him" >friendanon's dad takes out a plate with pasta and red sauce, puts it on the table and puts on a gentle smile. >friendanon tastes it and begins to cry >turns out it was his mother's special recipe. >anon gets so excited and emotional he throws up >he's all shaking >his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy >there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
>be 14 >have a best friend >plays vidya, talk girls, a genuinely good friend. >about a month ago his mom passed away >terminal cancer, horrible thing >a week before his birthday his dad 50 KB JPG reached out to me >confusion.jpeg >"hey anon, it's friendanon's dad, I know you too are pretty close and next week is his birthday, figured we could do something nice for him." >l agree >"that's great, as you know ever since friendanon's mom passed away he's been pretty bummed out so I thought we could make something to remind him of her." >wtfwhybutok.png >agree to help him out because friendanon is my best friend. >mfw his dad asked me to bring a can of tomato sauce >whatthefuck.exe >fast forward to his birthday party >we just hanging out, some friends and family there just talking and congratulating friendanon, pretty cool b'day party >friendanon's dad clears his throat >"ehm so as you all know it's friendanon's birthday today, so for some time I've been thinking what would make anon's birthday memorable for him" >friendanon's dad takes out a plate with pasta and red sauce, puts it on the table and puts on a gentle smile. >friendanon tastes it and begins to cry >turns out it was his mother's special recipe. >anon gets so excited and emotional he throws up >he's all shaking >his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy >there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti

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Long train a comin’ | /r/Greentext

File: fuuuck.jpg (95 KB, 861x889) Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)06:45:57 No.64393420 [Reply] >>64393436 >be me >NEET shut in >never leave my house >see threads on r9k talking about nightwalks over the years >everyone talking about how relaxing it is >decide to do it one night >go out at 1am >walking for about 30 minutes >see a group of like 5 guys ahead >they all stare at me as i walk past >someone grabs my shoulder from behind just as i passed them >turn around >they are all facing me >"you just bumped into me" >they start circling me like sharks >"no i didn't" >he gets up in my face >"give me your money and say sorry to me" >getting pretty nervous at this point >adrenaline running through me >"i don't have any money, i'm not saying sorry for something i didn't do" >suddenly i fall to the ground >the guy behind me must of hit me >try to get up but they are kicking me everywhere and shouting insults >sometime later they all run away while laughing >struggle to get to my feet for a little bit >start walking back home >start puking on the street a couple times on my way back >stagger inside and lay on my bed just my luck
File: fuuuck.jpg (95 KB, 861x889) Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)06:45:57 No.64393420 [Reply] >>64393436 >be me >NEET shut in >never leave my house >see threads on r9k talking about nightwalks over the years >everyone talking about how relaxing it is >decide to do it one night >go out at 1am >walking for about 30 minutes >see a group of like 5 guys ahead >they all stare at me as i walk past >someone grabs my shoulder from behind just as i passed them >turn around >they are all facing me >"you just bumped into me" >they start circling me like sharks >"no i didn't" >he gets up in my face >"give me your money and say sorry to me" >getting pretty nervous at this point >adrenaline running through me >"i don't have any money, i'm not saying sorry for something i didn't do" >suddenly i fall to the ground >the guy behind me must of hit me >try to get up but they are kicking me everywhere and shouting insults >sometime later they all run away while laughing >struggle to get to my feet for a little bit >start walking back home >start puking on the street a couple times on my way back >stagger inside and lay on my bed just my luck

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Anon witnesses acceptance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)23:36:13 No.778863070 >>778860941 (OP) # >be me in high school a few years back >go to rich libtard public school where everyone is afraid of being 39 KB JPG called a racist >be in world history teacher having us do busy work while she's on computer >nigs behind me talking one of them uses the word f----- >teacher flips here s--- and goes on a ten minute rant about gay oppression even though she is white and straight >ends the tirade by getting the group of nigs to go to her desk >the whole class can still hear her >she asks how the nigs would feel if she calls them a slur >they look around confused >then she says what's up my n----- >the whole class loses it >even all the nigs are dying Mfw
: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)23:36:13 No.778863070 >>778860941 (OP) # >be me in high school a few years back >go to rich libtard public school where everyone is afraid of being 39 KB JPG called a racist >be in world history teacher having us do busy work while she's on computer >nigs behind me talking one of them uses the word f----- >teacher flips here s--- and goes on a ten minute rant about gay oppression even though she is white and straight >ends the tirade by getting the group of nigs to go to her desk >the whole class can still hear her >she asks how the nigs would feel if she calls them a slur >they look around confused >then she says what's up my n----- >the whole class loses it >even all the nigs are dying Mfw

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Anon likes July | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)11:59:44 No.858123155 >great day >get ready for work >its july 1st >f------ no more 35 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)11:59:44 No.858123155 >great day >get ready for work >its july 1st >f------ no more 35 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon is black | /r/Greentext


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Anon realizes something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)19:57:44 No.858119259 Guys I think I cracked the code, here is the key to success: >step one: be female >step two: success 232 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)19:57:44 No.858119259 Guys I think I cracked the code, here is the key to success: >step one: be female >step two: success 232 KB JPG

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he has 1 million moves | /r/Greentext

File: 208334369_654480969281739(.).jpg (22 KB, 720x424) O Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)15:27:38 No.858102375 >barges into Smash, uninvited >completely wrecks everything >refuses to elaborate further >doesn't leave when will you accept that he is the winner of smash
File: 208334369_654480969281739(.).jpg (22 KB, 720x424) O Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)15:27:38 No.858102375 >barges into Smash, uninvited >completely wrecks everything >refuses to elaborate further >doesn't leave when will you accept that he is the winner of smash

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Anon gets shooked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)08:50:33 No.784277994 So I just found out my sister is a furry >be me >in my room, playing vidya, hanging out >parents aren't home 25 KB JPG >sister in her room >idea.jpg >have a hockey mask and machete >decide to burst into her room and scare her >get mask on and grab weapon >go to her room >kick door open holding machete >immediately drop it an freeze >my sister is completely naked, masturbating >see furry p--- on her laptop >she tries to cover up and close the laptop >"w-- anon!" >say nothing >too shocked to speak >slowly back out and close the door >pick up machete and walk to my room This happened like 3 minutes ago what do I do?
: Anonymous 11/07/18(Wed)08:50:33 No.784277994 So I just found out my sister is a furry >be me >in my room, playing vidya, hanging out >parents aren't home 25 KB JPG >sister in her room >idea.jpg >have a hockey mask and machete >decide to burst into her room and scare her >get mask on and grab weapon >go to her room >kick door open holding machete >immediately drop it an freeze >my sister is completely naked, masturbating >see furry p--- on her laptop >she tries to cover up and close the laptop >"w-- anon!" >say nothing >too shocked to speak >slowly back out and close the door >pick up machete and walk to my room This happened like 3 minutes ago what do I do?

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Anon visits Mexico | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)00:48:39 No.858081795 File: taco.png (143 KB, 224x259) >>858082028 >>858081063 >At family retreat in mexico >friends family comes along >3rd night we're there >friends mom and dad get really drunk and go to bed >everyone else is asleep in the house >go to start j------- in the friends parents bathroom >start edging and get crazy horny >always wanted to f--- my friends mom. She's got huge t--- and a fat ass >sneak into her room horny out of my mind >start to softly grab her t--- >reach down to her ass and stick my full hand in her pants and panties >feel around until she starts to move >l pull out quick and drop to the ground >she says her sons name and I freeze >Army crawl out of the room as fast as I can and run and lay down on the couch I was sleeping on >she comes in and asks her son if he was in her room >he says no which makes her say huh well ok and leave >mfw my c--- is still throbbing I c-- over this thought for years after and then realize how close I was to ruining my entire life.
Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)00:48:39 No.858081795 File: taco.png (143 KB, 224x259) >>858082028 >>858081063 >At family retreat in mexico >friends family comes along >3rd night we're there >friends mom and dad get really drunk and go to bed >everyone else is asleep in the house >go to start j------- in the friends parents bathroom >start edging and get crazy horny >always wanted to f--- my friends mom. She's got huge t--- and a fat ass >sneak into her room horny out of my mind >start to softly grab her t--- >reach down to her ass and stick my full hand in her pants and panties >feel around until she starts to move >l pull out quick and drop to the ground >she says her sons name and I freeze >Army crawl out of the room as fast as I can and run and lay down on the couch I was sleeping on >she comes in and asks her son if he was in her room >he says no which makes her say huh well ok and leave >mfw my c--- is still throbbing I c-- over this thought for years after and then realize how close I was to ruining my entire life.

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Femanon buys cider | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45991336 35 perccel ezelőt .. >be me >24yo femanon >qt 17yo boys outside tesco ask me to buy them cider >hatch plan >walk into tesco and grab the cider >approach qt employee >explain that i saw my abusive bf outside >"don't worry, you can leave through the back door" >thank him >pay for the cider with the teenagers' money 67,4 kB JPG >leave out back door >drink the cider by the canal and browse 4chan on a local cafe's wifi >mfw 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 45991336 35 perccel ezelőt .. >be me >24yo femanon >qt 17yo boys outside tesco ask me to buy them cider >hatch plan >walk into tesco and grab the cider >approach qt employee >explain that i saw my abusive bf outside >"don't worry, you can leave through the back door" >thank him >pay for the cider with the teenagers' money 67,4 kB JPG >leave out back door >drink the cider by the canal and browse 4chan on a local cafe's wifi >mfw 3 REPLIES 2 IMAGES REPLY

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