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Anons try to identify an eel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)06:32:19 No.855820315 eel2.jpg 1.06 MB JPG Can /b/ identify this eel? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)06:33:04 No.855820339 >>855820315 (OP) # That's Max.. : Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)06:33:12 No.855820343 >>855820315 (OP) # i think its Greg
: Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)06:32:19 No.855820315 eel2.jpg 1.06 MB JPG Can /b/ identify this eel? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)06:33:04 No.855820339 >>855820315 (OP) # That's Max.. : Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)06:33:12 No.855820343 >>855820315 (OP) # i think its Greg

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Anon lives in a clown world | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:47:00 No.61759721 >Girls have milk in their boobs >They're walking around with MILK in their bouncy soft boobies 167 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:49:20 No.61759773 >they won't let you have any Truly a clown world.
: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:47:00 No.61759721 >Girls have milk in their boobs >They're walking around with MILK in their bouncy soft boobies 167 KB JPG 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)13:49:20 No.61759773 >they won't let you have any Truly a clown world.

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Day ruined | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)14:29:51 No.62926997 >Be me >See pic of cute girl >Looking promising >Scroll down >Vagina >Day ruined 24 KB PNG
: Anonymous 03/26/21(Fri)14:29:51 No.62926997 >Be me >See pic of cute girl >Looking promising >Scroll down >Vagina >Day ruined 24 KB PNG

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Anon is the antisimp | /r/Greentext

1h (6/1 18:52) ·63949419 8 Re · 3 Img · JPG 58KB · (1234 × 1070) 6 Replies >be me a year ago >in d*scord server >mention i got paid recently >retarded females flock to me and beg for me to buy them s---/send them money >5 minutes later >post screenshot of me paying for $1200 dollars worth of robux >w----- seethe 1h (6/1 18:54)·63949450 >>63949419 (OP) Based anti-simp story.
1h (6/1 18:52) ·63949419 8 Re · 3 Img · JPG 58KB · (1234 × 1070) 6 Replies >be me a year ago >in d*scord server >mention i got paid recently >retarded females flock to me and beg for me to buy them s---/send them money >5 minutes later >post screenshot of me paying for $1200 dollars worth of robux >w----- seethe 1h (6/1 18:54)·63949450 >>63949419 (OP) Based anti-simp story.

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Anon wants tendies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/18(Tue)21:10:04 No.42858185 >be me, mommy's 300 pound baby boy >wake up at 2 pm after a night of intense hentai viewing >get hungry so i waddle out my room to find mommy >the dried c-- pulls my big boy belly hair >spit into my hand and rub my belly for 18 KB JPG quick clean >see mommy watching tv >tell her i want tyson tendies >"sorry Anon, we are out. we have bagle bites" >bagle bites >not on my watch >i start breathing heavy because of this trauma >find mommys purse and rub it on my belly >chuck it at that w----- head >"go to the store and get your baby boy tyson tendies" >mommy lets out a tear that says she was in the wrong >she gets in the car and leaves >i grab the tv remote and put it in my buttcrack >start rolling on the floor >get tired and nap on living room floor >wake up to the smell of tendies >take remote out of my undies and put it on the couch >crawl to the kitchen >mommy is making my tendies! >the excitement made me gassy >let out a long liquidy brap >mommy starts to tear up again, proud of her 27 year old baby boy
: Anonymous 01/30/18(Tue)21:10:04 No.42858185 >be me, mommy's 300 pound baby boy >wake up at 2 pm after a night of intense hentai viewing >get hungry so i waddle out my room to find mommy >the dried c-- pulls my big boy belly hair >spit into my hand and rub my belly for 18 KB JPG quick clean >see mommy watching tv >tell her i want tyson tendies >"sorry Anon, we are out. we have bagle bites" >bagle bites >not on my watch >i start breathing heavy because of this trauma >find mommys purse and rub it on my belly >chuck it at that w----- head >"go to the store and get your baby boy tyson tendies" >mommy lets out a tear that says she was in the wrong >she gets in the car and leaves >i grab the tv remote and put it in my buttcrack >start rolling on the floor >get tired and nap on living room floor >wake up to the smell of tendies >take remote out of my undies and put it on the couch >crawl to the kitchen >mommy is making my tendies! >the excitement made me gassy >let out a long liquidy brap >mommy starts to tear up again, proud of her 27 year old baby boy

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The American Dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)06:23:30 No.63942256 >come from hard working poor family >putting myself into $80,000 debt for a soul crushing wagie job not even guaranteed >19 year old sister starts dating 43 year old millionaire >never goes to college >travels the world with him 596 KB JPG >moved into his mansion >drives his $110,000 sedan over to our house >wears designer clothes >cucked father says nothing >w---- mom is proud of her and genuinely happy to see them together The American Dream folks
: Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)06:23:30 No.63942256 >come from hard working poor family >putting myself into $80,000 debt for a soul crushing wagie job not even guaranteed >19 year old sister starts dating 43 year old millionaire >never goes to college >travels the world with him 596 KB JPG >moved into his mansion >drives his $110,000 sedan over to our house >wears designer clothes >cucked father says nothing >w---- mom is proud of her and genuinely happy to see them together The American Dream folks

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Anon wants to buy Minecraft | /r/Greentext

>be 11 year old me >Minecraft 1.0 comes out >want to get it >mom doesn't get me it at first >feelsbad.png >Easter rolls around >mom hands me a paper >its a username and password >mom got me an account for Easter >thanks mom 9.9 kB JPG >play minecraft all the time >make lots of memories and friends playing minecraft >fast forward to now >redownload Minecraft for the hell of it >look around for paper with username and password >find it >username is my name spelled backwards >lol >password.. >"lovemom" >love you mom
>be 11 year old me >Minecraft 1.0 comes out >want to get it >mom doesn't get me it at first >feelsbad.png >Easter rolls around >mom hands me a paper >its a username and password >mom got me an account for Easter >thanks mom 9.9 kB JPG >play minecraft all the time >make lots of memories and friends playing minecraft >fast forward to now >redownload Minecraft for the hell of it >look around for paper with username and password >find it >username is my name spelled backwards >lol >password.. >"lovemom" >love you mom

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Anons thoughts on god | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)03:06:38 No.63944352 >God is probably an Incel running ancestor simulations in his basement 255 KB PNG
: Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)03:06:38 No.63944352 >God is probably an Incel running ancestor simulations in his basement 255 KB PNG

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Anon is in the army | /r/Greentext

>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "O0000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week
>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "O0000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week

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Anon's mom trying to get him laid | /r/Greentext

06/01/21(Tue)11:59:35 No.63945431 >2013 >14 >Mom tells me l'm going on a date >"With who?" "you'll find out later" >Forces me to really groom myself >Tells me there'll be a pool there Sweet. Loved pools. Forgot about the date 59 KВ JPG because of the pool, that's how much I f------ love pools. >Blindfolds me on the car ride >Go to 2 sisters' house, from dance class >Hi anon "Yeah that's nice where's your pool?" >Their mother: "Don't you want to talk with the girls a little first?" "Why would I? Where's your pool?" >Go in pool >Girls and mother sitting on steps outside just staring at me >w-- >Eventually they tell me about a trick, I ask them to come in, we swim around for an hour and I get bored >Decide to play Mario Kart on their wii (they had a flatscreen, we had a CRT) >Mother leaves, tells them not to give me a house tour "I guess she doesn't like people in her room?" >Girls immediately offer me a house tour >"let me finish this round of mario kart" >They go upstairs to "get changed" >Finish round >Go upstairs >Knock on their door >"We're naked!" >Take this to mean they don't want me to come in >Go downstairs, play more mario kart >One girl comes out to ask where I am "You said you were getting changed for the house tour I didn't want" >She's STILL in her bikini >Are women really this f------ slow? >Goes back into bedroom >Mother comes back, calls girls down >They're whispering about me >Hear "Do you want to try again?" & It's up to him >Mother asks me if l'd like to stay "Yeah I want to keep playing mario kart" >She looks at me disgusted, calls my mom >Mom picks me up, asks how it went. >Tell her. She's disappointed. >W--?
06/01/21(Tue)11:59:35 No.63945431 >2013 >14 >Mom tells me l'm going on a date >"With who?" "you'll find out later" >Forces me to really groom myself >Tells me there'll be a pool there Sweet. Loved pools. Forgot about the date 59 KВ JPG because of the pool, that's how much I f------ love pools. >Blindfolds me on the car ride >Go to 2 sisters' house, from dance class >Hi anon "Yeah that's nice where's your pool?" >Their mother: "Don't you want to talk with the girls a little first?" "Why would I? Where's your pool?" >Go in pool >Girls and mother sitting on steps outside just staring at me >w-- >Eventually they tell me about a trick, I ask them to come in, we swim around for an hour and I get bored >Decide to play Mario Kart on their wii (they had a flatscreen, we had a CRT) >Mother leaves, tells them not to give me a house tour "I guess she doesn't like people in her room?" >Girls immediately offer me a house tour >"let me finish this round of mario kart" >They go upstairs to "get changed" >Finish round >Go upstairs >Knock on their door >"We're naked!" >Take this to mean they don't want me to come in >Go downstairs, play more mario kart >One girl comes out to ask where I am "You said you were getting changed for the house tour I didn't want" >She's STILL in her bikini >Are women really this f------ slow? >Goes back into bedroom >Mother comes back, calls girls down >They're whispering about me >Hear "Do you want to try again?" & It's up to him >Mother asks me if l'd like to stay "Yeah I want to keep playing mario kart" >She looks at me disgusted, calls my mom >Mom picks me up, asks how it went. >Tell her. She's disappointed. >W--?

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.767048355 Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth 45 KB JPG >Violent loud sound >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at me >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say "Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up
: Anonymous 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.767048355 Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth 45 KB JPG >Violent loud sound >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at me >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say "Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up

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Anon's genitals are different | /r/Greentext

File: 1352472167068.jpg-(105 KB, 960x640, image.jpg) Anonymous (ID: xOUJKHrL) 11/09/12(Fri)09:42:47 >Be in preschool >Uncircumcised >Kid notices in bathroom >Later that day in a group with other boys and girls >Kid says my pee pee is different >Other kids want to see >Show them >They want to touch it >why not >Let them >They pull back my foreskin repeatedly and touch the head >Feelsgoodman.jpg >My pee pee gets bigger >One of the little girls screams >Female teacher comes over >ohshit >The kids' parents are informed And that was the end of my teaching career
File: 1352472167068.jpg-(105 KB, 960x640, image.jpg) Anonymous (ID: xOUJKHrL) 11/09/12(Fri)09:42:47 >Be in preschool >Uncircumcised >Kid notices in bathroom >Later that day in a group with other boys and girls >Kid says my pee pee is different >Other kids want to see >Show them >They want to touch it >why not >Let them >They pull back my foreskin repeatedly and touch the head >Feelsgoodman.jpg >My pee pee gets bigger >One of the little girls screams >Female teacher comes over >ohshit >The kids' parents are informed And that was the end of my teaching career

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Anon Says the N Word new | /r/Greentext

=: 1522598729443.jpg (33 KB, 640x619) Anonymous 12/14/18(Fri)21:16:13 No.787392288 >>787392777 >recently started dating black girl >11/10 qt >texts me one night at 3am >hey anon <3 >"whats up n----" >blocked why am i like this Anonymous 12/14/18(Fri)21:20:51 No.787392611 ► >787392 You get any nudes prior?
=: 1522598729443.jpg (33 KB, 640x619) Anonymous 12/14/18(Fri)21:16:13 No.787392288 >>787392777 >recently started dating black girl >11/10 qt >texts me one night at 3am >hey anon <3 >"whats up n----" >blocked why am i like this Anonymous 12/14/18(Fri)21:20:51 No.787392611 ► >787392 You get any nudes prior?

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Anon learns how to think | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: H4kom0OE TEEN WHO TRANSITIONED AT 16 NO(...) 08/04/20(Tue)14:33:07 No.271131501 theblaze FOLLOW UK teen girl wanted to be male; got breasts removed, took testosterone. Now 23, she says doctors should have 'challenged' her decision - and is suing. : Anonymous (ID: BAvuhMxS 08/04/20(Tue)14:36:04 No.271131869 >271131501 (OP) # >Give woman testosterone >her rational reasoning improves >>271132166 # >271132881 # >>271133223 # >>271134332 # >>271134775 # >>271136263 # >>271136421 # >>271136633 # >271136659 # 2>271136801 # >271136889 # >>271136910 # >>271136975 # >271137192 # >>271137688 # >>271137852 # >>271138819 # >>271139068 # >>271139337 # >271139364 # >271139495 # >>271139539 # 2271139665 # >>271139676 # >>271139733 # >>271139941 # >271140571 # >>271141024 # >>271141631 # >>271141918 # >>271141990 # >>271142005 # >>271142025 # >>271142491 # >>271142547 # >>271142555# >>271142674 # >>271143018 # >>271143028 # >>271143099 # >>271143230 # >>271143380 # >>271143477 # >>271143641 # >>271143978# >>271144138 # >271144537 # >271144570 # >>271145019 # >271145462 # 22271145746 # >>271145891 # 2>271146484 # >>271146853 #
: Anonymous (ID: H4kom0OE TEEN WHO TRANSITIONED AT 16 NO(...) 08/04/20(Tue)14:33:07 No.271131501 theblaze FOLLOW UK teen girl wanted to be male; got breasts removed, took testosterone. Now 23, she says doctors should have 'challenged' her decision - and is suing. : Anonymous (ID: BAvuhMxS 08/04/20(Tue)14:36:04 No.271131869 >271131501 (OP) # >Give woman testosterone >her rational reasoning improves >>271132166 # >271132881 # >>271133223 # >>271134332 # >>271134775 # >>271136263 # >>271136421 # >>271136633 # >271136659 # 2>271136801 # >271136889 # >>271136910 # >>271136975 # >271137192 # >>271137688 # >>271137852 # >>271138819 # >>271139068 # >>271139337 # >271139364 # >271139495 # >>271139539 # 2271139665 # >>271139676 # >>271139733 # >>271139941 # >271140571 # >>271141024 # >>271141631 # >>271141918 # >>271141990 # >>271142005 # >>271142025 # >>271142491 # >>271142547 # >>271142555# >>271142674 # >>271143018 # >>271143028 # >>271143099 # >>271143230 # >>271143380 # >>271143477 # >>271143641 # >>271143978# >>271144138 # >271144537 # >271144570 # >>271145019 # >271145462 # 22271145746 # >>271145891 # 2>271146484 # >>271146853 #

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Anon is a filthy creep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:17:47 No.799888486 > Be me > Goes downstairs to the condo's gym > 9/10 girl on one of the treadmills > Says hi > Hops on the other treadmill 22 KB JPG besides her > She's perfect: 1.60m / mid to large boobs / brunette > We're both running and share some glances > She finishes her exercise > Smiles at me before leaving and says "goodbye" > feelsgoodman.jpg I've seen other girls there, but your average 5 or 6/10. Never such perfection. : Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:19:22 No.799888586 >>799888486 (OP) # Break into her house and c-- in her shampoo
: Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:17:47 No.799888486 > Be me > Goes downstairs to the condo's gym > 9/10 girl on one of the treadmills > Says hi > Hops on the other treadmill 22 KB JPG besides her > She's perfect: 1.60m / mid to large boobs / brunette > We're both running and share some glances > She finishes her exercise > Smiles at me before leaving and says "goodbye" > feelsgoodman.jpg I've seen other girls there, but your average 5 or 6/10. Never such perfection. : Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:19:22 No.799888586 >>799888486 (OP) # Break into her house and c-- in her shampoo

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Anon watches the first ever movie | /r/Greentext

WOAHAAHAHAH.jpg 171 KB JPG "AAAAAAAAAAAAA W-- ITS COMING RIGHT AT US"
WOAHAAHAHAH.jpg 171 KB JPG "AAAAAAAAAAAAA W-- ITS COMING RIGHT AT US"

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Anon experiences a glitch in the matrix | /r/Greentext

: noko...also the game 09/29/17(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. : Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #
: noko...also the game 09/29/17(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. : Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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Anon is definitely gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)16:21:32 No.63913432 >You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become an incel. -the flash What does this mean? He told me in my dream lastnight. 54 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)16:22:37 No.63913438 >>63913432 (OP) # >dreams of the flash probably means you're gay
: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)16:21:32 No.63913432 >You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become an incel. -the flash What does this mean? He told me in my dream lastnight. 54 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)16:22:37 No.63913438 >>63913432 (OP) # >dreams of the flash probably means you're gay

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well, what are your expectations? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)19:06:45 No.28723600 >24 hours left before US intelligence agencies fully disclose what they've been hiding about UFO's What are your expectations in the upcoming report? 14 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)19:35:53 No.28723821 WE WUZ KANGZ! >>28723600 (OP) # >What are your expectations in the upcoming report? That jews are from space, jesus was a hologram and the world is run by black people who have been plotting for millennia to NO. YOU WERE D--- WRSHERS 89 KB JPG wash everyone's d--- at the same time!
: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)19:06:45 No.28723600 >24 hours left before US intelligence agencies fully disclose what they've been hiding about UFO's What are your expectations in the upcoming report? 14 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)19:35:53 No.28723821 WE WUZ KANGZ! >>28723600 (OP) # >What are your expectations in the upcoming report? That jews are from space, jesus was a hologram and the world is run by black people who have been plotting for millennia to NO. YOU WERE D--- WRSHERS 89 KB JPG wash everyone's d--- at the same time!

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anon got a bonzi buddy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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