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>be 11 year old me >Minecraft 1.0 comes out >want to get it >mom doesn't get me it at first >feelsbad.png >Easter rolls around >mom hands me a paper >its a username and password >mom got me an account for Easter >thanks mom 9.9 kB JPG >play minecraft all the time >make lots of memories and friends playing minecraft >fast forward to now >redownload Minecraft for the hell of it >look around for paper with username and password >find it >username is my name spelled backwards >lol >password.. >"lovemom" >love you mom

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Anons thoughts on god | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/01/21(Tue)03:06:38 No.63944352 >God is probably an Incel running ancestor simulations in his basement 255 KB PNG

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Anon is in the army | /r/Greentext

>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "O0000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week

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Anon's mom trying to get him laid | /r/Greentext

06/01/21(Tue)11:59:35 No.63945431 >2013 >14 >Mom tells me l'm going on a date >"With who?" "you'll find out later" >Forces me to really groom myself >Tells me there'll be a pool there Sweet. Loved pools. Forgot about the date 59 KВ JPG because of the pool, that's how much I f------ love pools. >Blindfolds me on the car ride >Go to 2 sisters' house, from dance class >Hi anon "Yeah that's nice where's your pool?" >Their mother: "Don't you want to talk with the girls a little first?" "Why would I? Where's your pool?" >Go in pool >Girls and mother sitting on steps outside just staring at me >w-- >Eventually they tell me about a trick, I ask them to come in, we swim around for an hour and I get bored >Decide to play Mario Kart on their wii (they had a flatscreen, we had a CRT) >Mother leaves, tells them not to give me a house tour "I guess she doesn't like people in her room?" >Girls immediately offer me a house tour >"let me finish this round of mario kart" >They go upstairs to "get changed" >Finish round >Go upstairs >Knock on their door >"We're naked!" >Take this to mean they don't want me to come in >Go downstairs, play more mario kart >One girl comes out to ask where I am "You said you were getting changed for the house tour I didn't want" >She's STILL in her bikini >Are women really this f------ slow? >Goes back into bedroom >Mother comes back, calls girls down >They're whispering about me >Hear "Do you want to try again?" & It's up to him >Mother asks me if l'd like to stay "Yeah I want to keep playing mario kart" >She looks at me disgusted, calls my mom >Mom picks me up, asks how it went. >Tell her. She's disappointed. >W--?

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/18(Fri)11:24:26 No.767048355 Had a weird dream last night >In a gym bathroom >Brushing my teeth for whatever reason >finish up, spit water out >Run tongue over teeth 45 KB JPG >Violent loud sound >Like a thousand balloons rubbing together >Everyone stops and looks at me >Nervously try to play it off >Casually say "Squeaky clean boys." >Walk out of gym bathroom >Wake up

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Anon's genitals are different | /r/Greentext

File: 1352472167068.jpg-(105 KB, 960x640, image.jpg) Anonymous (ID: xOUJKHrL) 11/09/12(Fri)09:42:47 >Be in preschool >Uncircumcised >Kid notices in bathroom >Later that day in a group with other boys and girls >Kid says my pee pee is different >Other kids want to see >Show them >They want to touch it >why not >Let them >They pull back my foreskin repeatedly and touch the head >Feelsgoodman.jpg >My pee pee gets bigger >One of the little girls screams >Female teacher comes over >ohshit >The kids' parents are informed And that was the end of my teaching career

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Anon Says the N Word new | /r/Greentext

=: 1522598729443.jpg (33 KB, 640x619) Anonymous 12/14/18(Fri)21:16:13 No.787392288 >>787392777 >recently started dating black girl >11/10 qt >texts me one night at 3am >hey anon <3 >"whats up n----" >blocked why am i like this Anonymous 12/14/18(Fri)21:20:51 No.787392611 ► >787392 You get any nudes prior?

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Anon learns how to think | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: H4kom0OE TEEN WHO TRANSITIONED AT 16 NO(...) 08/04/20(Tue)14:33:07 No.271131501 theblaze FOLLOW UK teen girl wanted to be male; got breasts removed, took testosterone. Now 23, she says doctors should have 'challenged' her decision - and is suing. : Anonymous (ID: BAvuhMxS 08/04/20(Tue)14:36:04 No.271131869 >271131501 (OP) # >Give woman testosterone >her rational reasoning improves >>271132166 # >271132881 # >>271133223 # >>271134332 # >>271134775 # >>271136263 # >>271136421 # >>271136633 # >271136659 # 2>271136801 # >271136889 # >>271136910 # >>271136975 # >271137192 # >>271137688 # >>271137852 # >>271138819 # >>271139068 # >>271139337 # >271139364 # >271139495 # >>271139539 # 2271139665 # >>271139676 # >>271139733 # >>271139941 # >271140571 # >>271141024 # >>271141631 # >>271141918 # >>271141990 # >>271142005 # >>271142025 # >>271142491 # >>271142547 # >>271142555# >>271142674 # >>271143018 # >>271143028 # >>271143099 # >>271143230 # >>271143380 # >>271143477 # >>271143641 # >>271143978# >>271144138 # >271144537 # >271144570 # >>271145019 # >271145462 # 22271145746 # >>271145891 # 2>271146484 # >>271146853 #

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Anon is a filthy creep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:17:47 No.799888486 > Be me > Goes downstairs to the condo's gym > 9/10 girl on one of the treadmills > Says hi > Hops on the other treadmill 22 KB JPG besides her > She's perfect: 1.60m / mid to large boobs / brunette > We're both running and share some glances > She finishes her exercise > Smiles at me before leaving and says "goodbye" > feelsgoodman.jpg I've seen other girls there, but your average 5 or 6/10. Never such perfection. : Anonymous 05/16/19(Thu)14:19:22 No.799888586 >>799888486 (OP) # Break into her house and c-- in her shampoo

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Anon watches the first ever movie | /r/Greentext

WOAHAAHAHAH.jpg 171 KB JPG "AAAAAAAAAAAAA W-- ITS COMING RIGHT AT US"

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Anon experiences a glitch in the matrix | /r/Greentext

: noko...also the game 09/29/17(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. : Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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Anon is definitely gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)16:21:32 No.63913432 >You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become an incel. -the flash What does this mean? He told me in my dream lastnight. 54 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)16:22:37 No.63913438 >>63913432 (OP) # >dreams of the flash probably means you're gay

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well, what are your expectations? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)19:06:45 No.28723600 >24 hours left before US intelligence agencies fully disclose what they've been hiding about UFO's What are your expectations in the upcoming report? 14 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/31/21(Mon)19:35:53 No.28723821 WE WUZ KANGZ! >>28723600 (OP) # >What are your expectations in the upcoming report? That jews are from space, jesus was a hologram and the world is run by black people who have been plotting for millennia to NO. YOU WERE D--- WRSHERS 89 KB JPG wash everyone's d--- at the same time!

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Greentext Stories - Anon wants to buy Minecraft | /r/Greentext

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>be 11 year old me >Minecraft 1.0 comes out >want to get it >mom doesn't get me it at first >feelsbad.png >Easter rolls around >mom hands me a paper >its a username and password >mom got me an account for Easter >thanks mom 9.9 kB JPG >play minecraft all the time >make lots of memories and friends playing minecraft >fast forward to now >redownload Minecraft for the hell of it >look around for paper with username and password >find it >username is my name spelled backwards >lol >password.. >"lovemom" >love you mom

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