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Anon is a woman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 797920032 Vor 1 Min. •.. >Be me >Weak pathetic excuse for a man >Wanted to be a professional athlete all my life >Turned down everywhere I try >Start to come to terms with the fact that l'll never achieve my dream >2019 rolls around 55,2 kB JPG >Diversity PC nightmare >"But wait, I can use this to my advantage!" >sexchange.jpg >Am now a "woman" >Join female sports teams and get them arrested for hate speech if they say no >Beat the s--- out of everyone >Win all championships >Dumbass millenials call me brave and heroic Thanks system, I finally achieved my dream!
Anonymous | 797920032 Vor 1 Min. •.. >Be me >Weak pathetic excuse for a man >Wanted to be a professional athlete all my life >Turned down everywhere I try >Start to come to terms with the fact that l'll never achieve my dream >2019 rolls around 55,2 kB JPG >Diversity PC nightmare >"But wait, I can use this to my advantage!" >sexchange.jpg >Am now a "woman" >Join female sports teams and get them arrested for hate speech if they say no >Beat the s--- out of everyone >Win all championships >Dumbass millenials call me brave and heroic Thanks system, I finally achieved my dream!

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each burger is less than a dollar each | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fri)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered 2>9006183 # 229006205 # : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy
: Anonymous 06/02/17(Fri)21:42:54 No.9005626 nuggets.jpg 478 KB JPG What is your largest fast food order? : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:25:47 No.9006160 >>9005626 (OP) i was in the phillipines and ordered 30 yum burgers from jollibees because they were so cheap my action caused a huge scene because i was in a remote city that rarely sees white people, and the magnitude of burgers i ordered 2>9006183 # 229006205 # : Anonymous 06/03/17(Sat)00:45:01 No.9006205 >>9006160 >Never see a white person in all 35 years of your life >Hear stories about how much they eat >Think that impossible, nobody could stomach that much! >One day, skinny white man arrives >Astounding! >What a novelty! >But surely the rumors must be false, see how thin he is >Follow him into local Jollibees to confirm >He orders 30 f------ burgers >3 f------ 0 >Go home to wife >Tell her we must sell everything >Need to open hotdog stand in America >We will be fabulously wealthy

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Anon Plays OverWatch | /r/Greentext


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Deborah is a very specific type of pet... | /r/Greentext


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The Russian | /r/Greentext


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Anon is into some kinky shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:01:50 No.3803848 What would you rather be killed by? >Grizzly >Great white >Tiger >Gorilla If you say "none of the above" you're gay. 115 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:05:23 No.3803851 >>3803848 (OP) # all of the above >>3803853 # >>3803856 #
: Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:01:50 No.3803848 What would you rather be killed by? >Grizzly >Great white >Tiger >Gorilla If you say "none of the above" you're gay. 115 KB JPG : Anonymous 05/20/21(Thu)12:05:23 No.3803851 >>3803848 (OP) # all of the above >>3803853 # >>3803856 #

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Anon burns his balls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/18(Sun)15:32:19 No.762452137 story time /b/ >be me >few years back >be 15 >notice pubes look like vietnam >have a razor with interchangeable 522 KB PNG blades >use new one for balls >put cream on, shave balls >smooth >little rashy >see aftershave >idea.exe >put aftershave on hands, rub all over balls >feels good man >30 seconds later, balls are on fire >Ow >jump in shower, use cold water >f------ makes it worse >trying to not scream, don't want to spook parents >point showerhead down, use warm water >sit in shower, let balls soak in warm water >cry >30 minutes later, pain is gone >balls are smooth as marble >repeat this once every month >never had shaggy balls again
: Anonymous 03/11/18(Sun)15:32:19 No.762452137 story time /b/ >be me >few years back >be 15 >notice pubes look like vietnam >have a razor with interchangeable 522 KB PNG blades >use new one for balls >put cream on, shave balls >smooth >little rashy >see aftershave >idea.exe >put aftershave on hands, rub all over balls >feels good man >30 seconds later, balls are on fire >Ow >jump in shower, use cold water >f------ makes it worse >trying to not scream, don't want to spook parents >point showerhead down, use warm water >sit in shower, let balls soak in warm water >cry >30 minutes later, pain is gone >balls are smooth as marble >repeat this once every month >never had shaggy balls again

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Anon learns Greek | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 05/28/21(Fri)17:58:37 No.145797289 >Surname translates to "c---" 44 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/28/21 (Fri)17:59:18 No.145797324 : Anonymous . 05/28/21 (Fri)17:59:50 No.145797351 >get taught greek in school when 9 >teacher tells us what our names mean in greek >tells girl named emma that her name means blood in greek >she starts crying 60 KB JPG >>145797631 #
: Anonymous E 05/28/21(Fri)17:58:37 No.145797289 >Surname translates to "c---" 44 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/28/21 (Fri)17:59:18 No.145797324 : Anonymous . 05/28/21 (Fri)17:59:50 No.145797351 >get taught greek in school when 9 >teacher tells us what our names mean in greek >tells girl named emma that her name means blood in greek >she starts crying 60 KB JPG >>145797631 #

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Anon is trying | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/19(Wed)23:08:32 No.803753292 >be me in high school >get bullied everyday by a bunch of jocks >l see the jocks at the end of the hallway >they are slowly approaching >not today jocks >this is the last straw.mp3 26 KB JPG >quickly open up from locker >it's showtime.jpg >grab my Naruto Shippuden headband out of my locker and place in around my head >the jocks are only a few metres away now >give their leader a death stare and slam my locker door while remaining eye contact >"what are you looking at you little f--?" Says the jock leader >start charging up my rasengan >l've been practicing my rasengan for weeks, hopefully my training has paid off. >the jock laughs and shoves me to the ground >hear a group of girls laughing >l go to the bathroom and cry ifunny.co
: Anonymous 07/03/19(Wed)23:08:32 No.803753292 >be me in high school >get bullied everyday by a bunch of jocks >l see the jocks at the end of the hallway >they are slowly approaching >not today jocks >this is the last straw.mp3 26 KB JPG >quickly open up from locker >it's showtime.jpg >grab my Naruto Shippuden headband out of my locker and place in around my head >the jocks are only a few metres away now >give their leader a death stare and slam my locker door while remaining eye contact >"what are you looking at you little f--?" Says the jock leader >start charging up my rasengan >l've been practicing my rasengan for weeks, hopefully my training has paid off. >the jock laughs and shoves me to the ground >hear a group of girls laughing >l go to the bathroom and cry ifunny.co

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please get your shit together, don't be like anon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)06:38:31 No.845288878 >watch p--- >mom walks in >quickly change to other tab so mom dont see >it's /b/ >first thread is loli thread 12 KB JPG >i'm 32 years old
: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)06:38:31 No.845288878 >watch p--- >mom walks in >quickly change to other tab so mom dont see >it's /b/ >first thread is loli thread 12 KB JPG >i'm 32 years old

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Anon shares a discovery | /r/Greentext


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Anon is right | /r/Greentext


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Anon pulls a prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank
: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank

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Anon proves a point | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a conversation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)01:00:36 No.63873977 >some 16 y o girl from my school adds me on snapchat >sends me a few snaps >i dont answer cause of autism >she complains >i send her a few snaps >she tells me i have a cool style >she asks me to send her a video of my room 28 KB JPG >weird but ok >she asks why i have such a small bed >she asks how i make out with girls in this small bed >i tell her i dont >asks if ive ever had a gf >not really >"so ur still a virgin" >thats getting a bit too private >"haha sorry" W-- this is weird and creepy
: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)01:00:36 No.63873977 >some 16 y o girl from my school adds me on snapchat >sends me a few snaps >i dont answer cause of autism >she complains >i send her a few snaps >she tells me i have a cool style >she asks me to send her a video of my room 28 KB JPG >weird but ok >she asks why i have such a small bed >she asks how i make out with girls in this small bed >i tell her i dont >asks if ive ever had a gf >not really >"so ur still a virgin" >thats getting a bit too private >"haha sorry" W-- this is weird and creepy

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Anon loses 100 pounds | /r/Greentext

File: usa.jpg (1.67 MB, 6792x3656) Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:00:56 No.63879966 [Reply] >>63879978 >>63879991 >I lost one hundred pounds! :D Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:01:37 No.63879974 File: uk.png (6 KB, 1500x750) >I lost one hundred pounds.. >:(
File: usa.jpg (1.67 MB, 6792x3656) Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:00:56 No.63879966 [Reply] >>63879978 >>63879991 >I lost one hundred pounds! :D Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:01:37 No.63879974 File: uk.png (6 KB, 1500x750) >I lost one hundred pounds.. >:(

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anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:10:21 No.556949938 >>556951997 >>556961050 >>556947957(OP) i wish clown girls were an actual race of people: >their entire skin is white >the clown nose is natural >their n------ and p---- lips have alternate colors, sometimes the same as the lips >their skin probably taste funny >imagine the taste of their breast milk >grabbing their breasts/ass causes an honk noise Anonymous 05/26/21 (Wed)02:22:39 No.556951076 Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:32:38 No.556951997 >>556949938 >want to playfully grope clownwifes butt in public >loud ass honk is heard echoing from her >everyone turns to you two knowing full well what is going on >she embarrassingly honks her nose trying to play it off
Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:10:21 No.556949938 >>556951997 >>556961050 >>556947957(OP) i wish clown girls were an actual race of people: >their entire skin is white >the clown nose is natural >their n------ and p---- lips have alternate colors, sometimes the same as the lips >their skin probably taste funny >imagine the taste of their breast milk >grabbing their breasts/ass causes an honk noise Anonymous 05/26/21 (Wed)02:22:39 No.556951076 Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:32:38 No.556951997 >>556949938 >want to playfully grope clownwifes butt in public >loud ass honk is heard echoing from her >everyone turns to you two knowing full well what is going on >she embarrassingly honks her nose trying to play it off

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Anon wants a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >l have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >l have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >I can protect my wife and offspring from predators >I can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >I have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.
: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >l have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >l have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >I can protect my wife and offspring from predators >I can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >I have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.

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C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER the | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike

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Well if you’re posting on 4chan then it’s a pretty reasonable assumption | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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