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: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike

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File: images (1).jpg (7 KB, 228x221) Go to the gym and seek self improvement ffs Anonymous 11/30/24(Sat)21:49:58 No.32380026 >be me >have best friend for 5 years >let's call him Dave >Dave has been in love with his childhood friend/crush since grade 1 >we'll call her Abigail > She is active in sports and has an excellent grade in uni >Abigail gets a boyfriend >dude is a gym Chad™ >Dave goes full rage mode >rants to me about how "Chads" steal all the girls and women only like jerks >Dave says Abigail's bf treats her like crap and sleeps with lot of women >actually met Abigail's bf >he's legit the nicest guy I've met >Christian, has never slept with women, devout but doesn't push it on anyone >major in peace studies and wants to become a charity worker abroad >dude even helped me out at the gym >went from skinny as hell to gaining 10kg in 2 months thanks to him >We play basketball together with his bros >Dave, meanwhile, is lazy, overweight, watches anime/LoL all day, and spams edgy s--- on 4chan >bro, get your act together Dave, I know you're reading this because you live on /b/. Abigail didn't pick her bf just because he's jacked. She picked him because he's actually a decent human being. Take a hard look at yourself and stop spreading lies about someone who's better than you in every way. Touch some grass, bro.

Anonymous 12/01/24(Sun)17:30:56 No.696094373 1.09 MB JPG >this will increase our sale revenue

pink >be me, pink floyd fan floyd the 31 KB JPG final out >1983 >new pink floyd album released >"the final cut >go out and buy record >return home >gee, let's hope it isn't about roger waters' dad dying again >start record >"tell me true, tell me why, was Jesus crucified" >great so far >"was it for this that... daddy died" >godfuckingdammit.png >rip pin off >fling record out window >well, hopefully they return to their usual quality next album

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Well if you’re posting on 4chan then it’s a pretty reasonable assumption | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/27/19(Sun)22:25:39 No.812748545 >go eat at local pizza place >eat entire large peperoni pizza >still hungry >Too embarassed to order more cause qt cashier will think I'm a f------ fatass >pretend go get a call from friend 6 KB JPG >stage an entire 3 minute conversation >end call asking him if he wants anything from the pizza place >order another pizza to go for "friend" >proceed to devour the pizza in my car >cashier walks up to my car with my backpack >sees i'm halfway done with my "friends" pizza >"you forgot your backpack" >l smile and nod with my mouth full >she f------ giggles and walks away F------ bitch I've never been this embarassed in my life. I can never go back there

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Anon meets a Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has a cool grandpa | /r/Greentext

lal Anonymous 07/28/20(Tue)02:41:37 No.206446180 >Had my grandpa over today, he's 84 and l'm 20 >We were talking about trends and such and the discussion moved over to the Japanese somehow >"Yeah those cartoons they make are a huge industry over there. Their animation probably racks in billions each year and it's enjoyed by people all over the world, the animation was inspired directly by Walt Disney's work and made into a whole new industry." 201 KB JPG >"Really?" >"Yeah wanna watch one with me?" >"Yeah show me one." >Show him the first episode of One Punch Man on Netflix >"H-------- Anon that was great." >He especially liked the crabman and the kid with a pair of balls for a chin >We went out for Icecream after and I dropped him off home >Get a call about 30 minutes ago >"Anon I was trying to take a nap, but I can't stop thinking about that One Punch Man, can we watch more tomorrow?" Sorry to blogpost but I love my Grandpa and I thought this would be a nice story to share. What are /al's experiences in introducing friends and family to anime?

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Anon is a true American | /r/Greentext

Verizon 8:02 PM 56% : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)19:02:40 No.855542747 >Be me, true American >Watching baseball and eating healthy meal of freedom fries covered in 10 cups of cheese >Realize I still need a fruit >Pour entire ketchup bottle all over 23 KB JPG fries >Worry it's not enough >Grab six bottles of Crush to wash it down >Worry I'm being too healthy >Dump two salt shakers onto fries >Much better >Baseball game is interrupted >Evil liberal president is speaking >He says that all cancer will end worldwide if we all wear 2 socks on our right feet for 10 seconds a day. >Proves this beyond a doubt using science >Says we are all now required to do so and how great it is that cancer will now disappear forever >Rage at the egregious affront against my freedom >Throw freedom fries at TV >The communist expects me to lift a finger to make the world a better place to live >Call up friends >Hold riots where we burn all the socks we can find >Burn clothing stores that sell socks >Tear socks off the feet of pedestrians >Feel proud of the rising rates of cancer knowing we protected our freedom >George Washington would be so proud of us

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Anon learns that he's an incel. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)11:12:56 No.145829282 >Be me. >Study German. >The German for Island is "Insel." >Britischen Inseln >Philippinen Insel. >Mfw I live in an Incel country. 68 KB JPG

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Anon Buys a Girly Mask | /r/Greentext

File: C41E70CC-0E48-41FA-9D37-C(..).png (285 KB, 1000x800) O Anonymous 11/03/20(Tue)07:38:09 No.60747141 [Reply] >buy girly mask >throw it on the side of my car where it can be seen >give mom a ride >sees the mask >"oh anon whos the lucky girl?" >say its a friend >parents no longer think l'm a virgin loser Who /highiqintellectual/ here? 1 reply omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 11/03/20(Tue)08:47:28 No.60747735 >>60747141 (OP) >>buy girly mask ha f-----

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anon commits battery for loaf | /r/Greentext

four hundred thousand keks >be me >12 7 KB JPG >going to the store with my dad >just before big hurricane >takes last bread loaf >some lady snatches it from his cart >he tears it back >"buht, whee need it more!" >it was in my cart, just go to a different store or f----- deal >"noe!!! >she takes it, starts running >my 12 year old ass thinks it would be funny if i threw a can of beans at her >hits her head >shes out cold >dad looks at me >I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDNT MEAN TO KNOCK HER OUT >he laughs and picks up the loaf >we leave >made a sandwitch with that bread >f----- lol

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War of the Anons | /r/Greentext

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)04:17:27 No.778219655 >one day having a lot of fun playing vidya with a friend >nothing out of the ordinary happens >out of nowhere I feel my mood starting to decline >wonder what the f--- is 48 KB JPG happening >even though I was having fun and talking to someone I really like >feel like s--- >tell friend I need to go for a bit >lie in my bed >extremely p----- off for feeling like s--- >gather all the anger and strength I could muster and punch myself in the side of the head as hard as I f------ could >immediately feel dazed and fuzzy >l ride the feeling for a while >become super relaxed and happy Did I just restart my brain or something?

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Anon is a decent human | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/22/18(Fri)07:00:15 No.772251560 >>772251055 (OP) # >be 15 >sister 17 WOOSH VOUAVE Smol pener >walks out of bathroom after shower 40 KB JPG >towel hanging very loose around her body. >tell her to fasten her towel before it falls off >she nods and fastens it before walking away >i go shower and forget about it >because im not some sick degenerate like you f----. >>772251744 #

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Anon receives a compliment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/32/20(Fri)08:26:16 No.843691791 1607846755974.jpg 90 KB JPG >taking piss at public urinal >guy walks in and starts using the one next to me >he looks over at me >'nice c--- bro, i bet you c-- alot right? Yeah i bet you do' We all need a compliment from time to time to make us feel good.

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Greentext Stories - C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER the | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike

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