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Anons are Geography majors | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)21:09:37 No.129854915 >Georgia? Thats a state not a country its capital is Atlanta bro 480 KB PNG 109/03/20(Thu)21:15:14 No.129855092 >Turkey? Thats a bird not a country its origin is America bro 191 KB PNG : Anonymous I-09/03/20(Thu)21:17:11 No.129855149 >Hungary? No, I just ate
: Anonymous 09/03/20(Thu)21:09:37 No.129854915 >Georgia? Thats a state not a country its capital is Atlanta bro 480 KB PNG 109/03/20(Thu)21:15:14 No.129855092 >Turkey? Thats a bird not a country its origin is America bro 191 KB PNG : Anonymous I-09/03/20(Thu)21:17:11 No.129855149 >Hungary? No, I just ate

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Anon protects his gold | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:42:43 No.63862155 >be me >At home >Checking on massive pile of gold in basement >Gold is hidden in a vault >Intruder alarms go off >Someone's approaching my house 29 KB JPG >Run upstairs to see people walking through my front yard >They must be here for my gold >Activate traps >Sprinkles shower intruders in gasoline >Throw a single match at them >They burst in flames >They're approaching the backyard >Climb the giant wall I built to see them trying to climb it >Pour boiling water over the side and listen as their skin fuses together >They're retreating >Victory is mine >They'll never get my gold I still don't know who the IRS is but l'll protect my wealth to the death
: Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)20:42:43 No.63862155 >be me >At home >Checking on massive pile of gold in basement >Gold is hidden in a vault >Intruder alarms go off >Someone's approaching my house 29 KB JPG >Run upstairs to see people walking through my front yard >They must be here for my gold >Activate traps >Sprinkles shower intruders in gasoline >Throw a single match at them >They burst in flames >They're approaching the backyard >Climb the giant wall I built to see them trying to climb it >Pour boiling water over the side and listen as their skin fuses together >They're retreating >Victory is mine >They'll never get my gold I still don't know who the IRS is but l'll protect my wealth to the death

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Anon in class | /r/Greentext

1. #62546757 9/21/17, 12:00 >be in class >everyone using gay ass laptops >smirk >pull on my fingerless hacking gloves >put on my anti-glare sunglasses >pull my fedora a little lower >crack my knuckles >actually only two of them can crack >l'm not sure why, I think it's genetic >rearrange the tails of my duster trenchcoat >pull my alienware tower from under the table >it makes a big thump when I put it on the tabletop >sorry >turn it on >fans start blowing all those goofy laptop user's gay papers everywhere >plug in my cherry blue keyswitch mechanical >start typing >teacher has to raise voice to be heard >everyone whispering and 'mirin my rig >somehow security finds out I'm not a registered student >get escorted out
1. #62546757 9/21/17, 12:00 >be in class >everyone using gay ass laptops >smirk >pull on my fingerless hacking gloves >put on my anti-glare sunglasses >pull my fedora a little lower >crack my knuckles >actually only two of them can crack >l'm not sure why, I think it's genetic >rearrange the tails of my duster trenchcoat >pull my alienware tower from under the table >it makes a big thump when I put it on the tabletop >sorry >turn it on >fans start blowing all those goofy laptop user's gay papers everywhere >plug in my cherry blue keyswitch mechanical >start typing >teacher has to raise voice to be heard >everyone whispering and 'mirin my rig >somehow security finds out I'm not a registered student >get escorted out

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Anon goes on a 13$ flight trip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)05:00:36 No.2023204 Retarded stories thread /trv/ edition >be me >have to use plane to get to family gathering >buy the cheapest flight I can >13 dollar round trip flight 14 KB JPG >too good to be true >spirit airlines always flys cheap never seen it this cheap tho >day of flight >flight attendant tells me "take a seat hon" >me being a gen 5 retard sees a flirting opportunity >try to lift up seat >say "it's mine to keep right?" >all 3 seats in row f------ collapse >there is people in them >the chairs that collapsed fall into the row behind >there is people in those too >MFW >silence as entire plane stares at me >People start chattering >I quickly say >"I can't even lift 50 pounds those seats were bunk" >greasy guy in the back yells "THE FLIGHT WAS 13 DOLLARS PEOPLE WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" >chattering stops > flight attendant calls me a retard and gets a power tool and some bolts from the back of the plane >fixes the seats in like 2 minutes
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)05:00:36 No.2023204 Retarded stories thread /trv/ edition >be me >have to use plane to get to family gathering >buy the cheapest flight I can >13 dollar round trip flight 14 KB JPG >too good to be true >spirit airlines always flys cheap never seen it this cheap tho >day of flight >flight attendant tells me "take a seat hon" >me being a gen 5 retard sees a flirting opportunity >try to lift up seat >say "it's mine to keep right?" >all 3 seats in row f------ collapse >there is people in them >the chairs that collapsed fall into the row behind >there is people in those too >MFW >silence as entire plane stares at me >People start chattering >I quickly say >"I can't even lift 50 pounds those seats were bunk" >greasy guy in the back yells "THE FLIGHT WAS 13 DOLLARS PEOPLE WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?" >chattering stops > flight attendant calls me a retard and gets a power tool and some bolts from the back of the plane >fixes the seats in like 2 minutes

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Anon works at McDonald’s | /r/Greentext

HAPP >working at McDonald's Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden •.. story time CHICHEN 3990NaW apy mel >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN MCNUGGETS AN EXCELLENT U HAPPI >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY
HAPP >working at McDonald's Anonymous | 753841064 45 min. geleden •.. story time CHICHEN 3990NaW apy mel >working at McDonald's >*autistic kid appears* >screams all the time : CHICKEN MCNUGGETS AN EXCELLENT U HAPPI >wants a happy meal with nuggets >gave him 5 instead of 4 cuz of my kindness 300,3 kB JPG >he noticed >*autistic screeching* >wanted a new one with only 4 nuggets i hate children. 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY

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Anon buys ice cream | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a friend.the | /r/Greentext

>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related
>be beta f-- with no friends >live alone in s----- apartment >walk outside one day and and 1.83 MB JPG see crow >crow has one partially white wing >feed it bread because it's all I have in apartment >crow keeps coming back for food >one day crow bring me a shiny bit of trash >accept offering from crow >few months pass he comes every day >he brings me s--- most days >one day crow doesnt show up >mfw my only friend has abandoned me >weekend passes >still hasnt come i watch for him constantly >monday morning i go to work >see dead crow on side of street near home >stop and get out >tfw it has a partially white wing >see it has been hit by car >near beak is some weird bracelet >tfw my only friend died trying to get me a gift >tfw I have nothing pic related

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Anon has anti-vax parents | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/21(Mon)08:25:03 No.850224142 >parents wont let me take the vaccine dafuq? >they have seen SCIENTIFIC FACEBOOK VIDEOS > what do 148 KB PNG 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 03/22/21(Mon)08:25:03 No.850224142 >parents wont let me take the vaccine dafuq? >they have seen SCIENTIFIC FACEBOOK VIDEOS > what do 148 KB PNG 17 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is a trap | /r/Greentext

File: 55528354.jpg (108 KB, 640x640) O Anonymous 05/02/19(Thu)04:09:34 No.798735010 >>798735490 >be me, beta cuck >hate school, always dress crappy >school is in western USA >lots of weirdos >older sister lives with us, shes cool i guess >one night, playing truth or dare with my only two friends >take dare >"hey anon, i dare you to dress like a girl for school tomorrow" >hell no >"dares a dare anon, you know the punishment" >punishment is no protection from lunch miney thiefs >sigh >fine >raid sisters drawes and closet >get good outfit set out >wake up next morning >makeup, bra, the whole nine >go to school >everyone thinks im a new girl >get hit on >lots If small talk and laughing >go home >that was good >cross dress again next day >make more friends >am now trap >have boyfriend (not gay) How badly did I f--- up /b/
File: 55528354.jpg (108 KB, 640x640) O Anonymous 05/02/19(Thu)04:09:34 No.798735010 >>798735490 >be me, beta cuck >hate school, always dress crappy >school is in western USA >lots of weirdos >older sister lives with us, shes cool i guess >one night, playing truth or dare with my only two friends >take dare >"hey anon, i dare you to dress like a girl for school tomorrow" >hell no >"dares a dare anon, you know the punishment" >punishment is no protection from lunch miney thiefs >sigh >fine >raid sisters drawes and closet >get good outfit set out >wake up next morning >makeup, bra, the whole nine >go to school >everyone thinks im a new girl >get hit on >lots If small talk and laughing >go home >that was good >cross dress again next day >make more friends >am now trap >have boyfriend (not gay) How badly did I f--- up /b/

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Anon is not the sharpest tool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)13:54:31 No.855414189 Embarrassing/ autistic / straight up retarded stories thread. I'l| start >be me >preteen >just started watching p--- 80 KB PNG >see a lot of mom/son p--- >though it was real >though it's just what mommies do to prepare their special boys >one day I asked her "when are we gonna do the stuff that moms and son's do" >she looks at me weirdly "what do you mean anon, what do you wanna do?" >show her the video >she looks at me in disgust >called my dad >get the worst beating in my life 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 05/27/21(Thu)13:54:31 No.855414189 Embarrassing/ autistic / straight up retarded stories thread. I'l| start >be me >preteen >just started watching p--- 80 KB PNG >see a lot of mom/son p--- >though it was real >though it's just what mommies do to prepare their special boys >one day I asked her "when are we gonna do the stuff that moms and son's do" >she looks at me weirdly "what do you mean anon, what do you wanna do?" >show her the video >she looks at me in disgust >called my dad >get the worst beating in my life 1 Reply View Thread

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Femanon has a date | /r/Greentext


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HIStory is told by the victors | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)16:09:29 No.849351555 In the late 1600s, London was plagued by a sexual attacker, dubbed 'Whipping Tom', who would spank his victims with his hand or sometimes a rod and shout 'Spanko! before running away. ping Tom ping Ione B122A23B-9CCE-45B3-9E8F-5E2E9ECSAFFB.jpg 213 KB JPG >1600 >Be me, Whipping Tom >Decide it would be humorous to slap some wenches on their bottoms >Starts as a joke but I quickly develop a liking for it, and become quite renound for my spankings, as I'm fleet of foot and yet to be caught >Flash forward over 400 years >Countless great and powerful men have died and been long forgotten, but my tale is still told and my name remembered >Spanko!
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)16:09:29 No.849351555 In the late 1600s, London was plagued by a sexual attacker, dubbed 'Whipping Tom', who would spank his victims with his hand or sometimes a rod and shout 'Spanko! before running away. ping Tom ping Ione B122A23B-9CCE-45B3-9E8F-5E2E9ECSAFFB.jpg 213 KB JPG >1600 >Be me, Whipping Tom >Decide it would be humorous to slap some wenches on their bottoms >Starts as a joke but I quickly develop a liking for it, and become quite renound for my spankings, as I'm fleet of foot and yet to be caught >Flash forward over 400 years >Countless great and powerful men have died and been long forgotten, but my tale is still told and my name remembered >Spanko!

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An interesting title #1 new | /r/Greentext

File: africa.jpg (9 KB, 480x453) O map dude 02/15/18(Thu)15:56:46 No.43232628 I'm back again boys draw on the map where niger is O Anonymous 02/15/18(Thu)15:57:33 No.43232637 Paint bucket tool.
File: africa.jpg (9 KB, 480x453) O map dude 02/15/18(Thu)15:56:46 No.43232628 I'm back again boys draw on the map where niger is O Anonymous 02/15/18(Thu)15:57:33 No.43232637 Paint bucket tool.

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Ok shitbags say what you will. I didn’t write this but found this gem in my old memes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.44621514 35 minutes ago >be indian >wake up to screams of women being gang r---- >pray to blue two-headed rhino god >no shower so bathe in the Ganges >almost choke on child's spinal column >ride on roof of victorian train to the call centre >"hello this is hank from computer company we need to ask you a few-" *click* >creepily hit on western women on facebook during breaktime >walking home >need to take a s--- for the 35th time that day >squat over a dying orphan who happened to be in the way >wipe anus with hand >eat rice from a giant communal bowl >use hands like a chimp >time for bed >crawl up in a pile of straw with, pray to 5 armed lobster-woman god for allowing me to live in the greatest country on earth
Anonymous No.44621514 35 minutes ago >be indian >wake up to screams of women being gang r---- >pray to blue two-headed rhino god >no shower so bathe in the Ganges >almost choke on child's spinal column >ride on roof of victorian train to the call centre >"hello this is hank from computer company we need to ask you a few-" *click* >creepily hit on western women on facebook during breaktime >walking home >need to take a s--- for the 35th time that day >squat over a dying orphan who happened to be in the way >wipe anus with hand >eat rice from a giant communal bowl >use hands like a chimp >time for bed >crawl up in a pile of straw with, pray to 5 armed lobster-woman god for allowing me to live in the greatest country on earth

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Anon is truly autistic | /r/Greentext


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Anon explains Joe Rogan | /r/Greentext

: test 09/27/20(Sun)08:35:11 No.139903097 Joe Rogan is like some barbarian Khan from the steppes that took an interest in intellectual things and his show is basically him bringing slightly nervous scholars and magicians to come before him to explain how the world works "glasses man, you explain to Joe why sky big, and how tree grow" but he will also believe almost anything you tell him, and only recently (in the past few years) does he clap back like "Tiny hat man say otherwise, do you lie to Joe? Tiny hat man say fat not bad for you, that sugar is enemy, so which is truth? Joe thinks you are wrong" and people just nervously go "oh-oh ok h-Haha yah I guess so" 83 KB JPG "Joe spend many moons on horseback and training with bow and sword, but joe also wonder why skyfire rise from mountains every morning, you will explain this to Joe."
: test 09/27/20(Sun)08:35:11 No.139903097 Joe Rogan is like some barbarian Khan from the steppes that took an interest in intellectual things and his show is basically him bringing slightly nervous scholars and magicians to come before him to explain how the world works "glasses man, you explain to Joe why sky big, and how tree grow" but he will also believe almost anything you tell him, and only recently (in the past few years) does he clap back like "Tiny hat man say otherwise, do you lie to Joe? Tiny hat man say fat not bad for you, that sugar is enemy, so which is truth? Joe thinks you are wrong" and people just nervously go "oh-oh ok h-Haha yah I guess so" 83 KB JPG "Joe spend many moons on horseback and training with bow and sword, but joe also wonder why skyfire rise from mountains every morning, you will explain this to Joe."

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Anon replies | /r/Greentext


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Anon loves his father. | /r/Greentext

Dad appreciation thread >be me >have a great relationship with my dad >family is pretty tight on money recently >dad comes into my room and we 8 KB JPG talk for a little bit >normally have home cooked dinner every night so I ask what we're having >dad says he doesn't know >i'm disappointed but not very shocked because its happened before >dad leaves room >try to sleep but too hungry >15 minutes later dad calls me downstairs >open my door and smell food >walk downstairs and see leftover macaroni casserole with a fried bologna sandwich on the table >"you really know how to make me not feel poor" >dad laughs and I turn on the TV and we watch parks and rec until i'm done >dad eats crackers with dip for dinner >feels bad man.wave >cant make him anything because we don't have anything to make >give my dad a 3 minute hug >let go as soon as sperg character from the TV says "moments over!" >we laugh and I go back upstairs to sleep >I love my dad
Dad appreciation thread >be me >have a great relationship with my dad >family is pretty tight on money recently >dad comes into my room and we 8 KB JPG talk for a little bit >normally have home cooked dinner every night so I ask what we're having >dad says he doesn't know >i'm disappointed but not very shocked because its happened before >dad leaves room >try to sleep but too hungry >15 minutes later dad calls me downstairs >open my door and smell food >walk downstairs and see leftover macaroni casserole with a fried bologna sandwich on the table >"you really know how to make me not feel poor" >dad laughs and I turn on the TV and we watch parks and rec until i'm done >dad eats crackers with dip for dinner >feels bad man.wave >cant make him anything because we don't have anything to make >give my dad a 3 minute hug >let go as soon as sperg character from the TV says "moments over!" >we laugh and I go back upstairs to sleep >I love my dad

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Anon befriends European dude | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 399044708 16 mins ago >>399044395 (OP) >be me >finally get a decent computer for that time (i live in australia so we're always behind other countries) >about 10 >befriend a guy from europe on 640.5 kB PNG runescape >we become best buds >he messages me everytime I logon without fail >we skill together >we slay hill giants together >one day login >he tells me he got rune armour >says his gonna go in wildy and wants me to come >decide to go with him >he gets attack by ranger but we kill them >european friend low on health >pull out my rune scimmy start hitting him >kill him >he messages me "w-- bro i thought we friends" >take his armour >block him and logout crying I-I hope his well.
Anonymous | 399044708 16 mins ago >>399044395 (OP) >be me >finally get a decent computer for that time (i live in australia so we're always behind other countries) >about 10 >befriend a guy from europe on 640.5 kB PNG runescape >we become best buds >he messages me everytime I logon without fail >we skill together >we slay hill giants together >one day login >he tells me he got rune armour >says his gonna go in wildy and wants me to come >decide to go with him >he gets attack by ranger but we kill them >european friend low on health >pull out my rune scimmy start hitting him >kill him >he messages me "w-- bro i thought we friends" >take his armour >block him and logout crying I-I hope his well.

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Anon goes hunting | /r/Greentext

>be me >around 9 years old >dad loves hunting, wants to take me >I don't like the idea of killing animals, but I don't want my dad to think I'm a little bitch so I reluctantly 33 KB JPG go >set the trap, put some scented food in it >small doe comes up, have my sight lined up, ready to pull the trigger >feel instant regret even before killling the animal >turn to my dad >"Dad, I'm sorry but I really don't want to take this animal's life" >That's okay son, why don't you just keep setting up the traps, you're really good at it >continue to set traps >we do this every couple of months for years, I set the traps, he takes the shots >recently entered a trap setting contest in my local hunter union >won >mfw l'm a master baiter
>be me >around 9 years old >dad loves hunting, wants to take me >I don't like the idea of killing animals, but I don't want my dad to think I'm a little bitch so I reluctantly 33 KB JPG go >set the trap, put some scented food in it >small doe comes up, have my sight lined up, ready to pull the trigger >feel instant regret even before killling the animal >turn to my dad >"Dad, I'm sorry but I really don't want to take this animal's life" >That's okay son, why don't you just keep setting up the traps, you're really good at it >continue to set traps >we do this every couple of months for years, I set the traps, he takes the shots >recently entered a trap setting contest in my local hunter union >won >mfw l'm a master baiter

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