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Anon is trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)21:58:53 No.853563148 ITT : share your best trolling stories. I'll start >be me >work at office late >it's december and cold outside 102 KB JPG >with my coworker we are bored >decide to find something to do during dinner break >go online >go on Craigslist >idea.exe >post an ad in the adult section >say we are a hot woman looking for sex >get tons of answers >start chatting through email >guy wanna come >better_idea.py >tell him that we like a man in a trench coat but nothing underneath >give him an address near the office where we can see him from upstairs >guy says ok >we wait >a car finally pulls over >it's an uber >a guy comes out >he is in a trench coat >the coat flaps around and we can see he is wearing nothing underneath >guy looks around and tries to send emails >we kek at him for almost 15 minutes >finally gives up and goes away >receive an angry email >we send back pics of him in his trench coat >mfw the entire time I did that I love trolling people and I will do it again. 23 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)21:58:53 No.853563148 ITT : share your best trolling stories. I'll start >be me >work at office late >it's december and cold outside 102 KB JPG >with my coworker we are bored >decide to find something to do during dinner break >go online >go on Craigslist >idea.exe >post an ad in the adult section >say we are a hot woman looking for sex >get tons of answers >start chatting through email >guy wanna come >better_idea.py >tell him that we like a man in a trench coat but nothing underneath >give him an address near the office where we can see him from upstairs >guy says ok >we wait >a car finally pulls over >it's an uber >a guy comes out >he is in a trench coat >the coat flaps around and we can see he is wearing nothing underneath >guy looks around and tries to send emails >we kek at him for almost 15 minutes >finally gives up and goes away >receive an angry email >we send back pics of him in his trench coat >mfw the entire time I did that I love trolling people and I will do it again. 23 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon watches minecraft | /r/Greentext

File: futuristic hub.jpg (29 KB, 480x360) Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)16:36:20 No.853547414 >be me >like 8 years old or something >come home from church with cousins HF >stroke of genius >ask if they have a laptop >they do >i go on youtube and tell them of my discovery >it's the futuristic hub needed in minecraft video >we watch as their blocky bodies f--- >cousins insist we watch it again >w--.png >they watch it over and over again since their bitch mom basically shields them from everything >after a while they get bored and we do something else >couple minutes later we get called upstairs >mfw my f----- cousins didn't close out the tab >bitchy aunt starts yelling at us >mom comes home >aunt picks fight with mom >huge family argument >fast forward 9 years >we still haven't talked to them MFW I tore my family apart over f------ minecraft p---
File: futuristic hub.jpg (29 KB, 480x360) Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)16:36:20 No.853547414 >be me >like 8 years old or something >come home from church with cousins HF >stroke of genius >ask if they have a laptop >they do >i go on youtube and tell them of my discovery >it's the futuristic hub needed in minecraft video >we watch as their blocky bodies f--- >cousins insist we watch it again >w--.png >they watch it over and over again since their bitch mom basically shields them from everything >after a while they get bored and we do something else >couple minutes later we get called upstairs >mfw my f----- cousins didn't close out the tab >bitchy aunt starts yelling at us >mom comes home >aunt picks fight with mom >huge family argument >fast forward 9 years >we still haven't talked to them MFW I tore my family apart over f------ minecraft p---

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Anon has a little sister | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)23:20:35 No.63512098 > be me > big bro > had a bad day at school > no one talked to me > complete f------ loner > little sister comes into my room > "wanna play a game anon?" 394 KB PNG > sure, better than just sulking > shes giggling her ass off >I actually start to cheer up > "I love you anon" > what > oh > she loves me > holding back tears at this point > "I love you too" > she leaves Thank you sis. >>63512009 # Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)02:10:15 No.63512009 3512244 > be me > little sister > notice my big bro is actin sad > idea.jpg > go to his room > "hey anon's bro wanna 3512261 10 KB JPG play a game" bot > "sure" > laughing my ass off > he actually starts to cheer up > "I love you anon's bro" nis > "I love you too anon" > he's smiling now > leave is this I hope he feels better tomorrow 6 replies and 4 images. Family | 시
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)23:20:35 No.63512098 > be me > big bro > had a bad day at school > no one talked to me > complete f------ loner > little sister comes into my room > "wanna play a game anon?" 394 KB PNG > sure, better than just sulking > shes giggling her ass off >I actually start to cheer up > "I love you anon" > what > oh > she loves me > holding back tears at this point > "I love you too" > she leaves Thank you sis. >>63512009 # Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)02:10:15 No.63512009 3512244 > be me > little sister > notice my big bro is actin sad > idea.jpg > go to his room > "hey anon's bro wanna 3512261 10 KB JPG play a game" bot > "sure" > laughing my ass off > he actually starts to cheer up > "I love you anon's bro" nis > "I love you too anon" > he's smiling now > leave is this I hope he feels better tomorrow 6 replies and 4 images. Family | 시

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Average day in the life of a casino worker | /r/Greentext


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Anon gets his first kiss | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)01:35:03 No.63504619 File: 1619465112154.jpg (64 KB, 1080x733) >>63506516 monkey synarome >>63503405 (OP) I was 13 when I kissed a girl >wanna try kissing my then gf >some girl just handed me some kiss chocolates >idea.jpeg symptoms: monkey >gf gets to main quad >hug her and ask if she wants a kiss >shes flushed and answers yes >reach into pocket pull out kisses >here >she giggles and playfully punches me >ask her for real >we kiss passionately felt like a f------ chad that day, was the only relationship I had in my life t.34 neet
O Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)01:35:03 No.63504619 File: 1619465112154.jpg (64 KB, 1080x733) >>63506516 monkey synarome >>63503405 (OP) I was 13 when I kissed a girl >wanna try kissing my then gf >some girl just handed me some kiss chocolates >idea.jpeg symptoms: monkey >gf gets to main quad >hug her and ask if she wants a kiss >shes flushed and answers yes >reach into pocket pull out kisses >here >she giggles and playfully punches me >ask her for real >we kiss passionately felt like a f------ chad that day, was the only relationship I had in my life t.34 neet

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Anon has a meeting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)07:44:56 No.853600905 >be me >have to go to anger management classes for a month for telling a coworker to f--- off >after work head to the first class >HR lady has everyone say their names and why they're there 17 KB JPG "Hi, I'm Anon. I'm here for making one of the women in my building cry." >meeting proceeds >she starts asking questions to everyone about why they acted how they did in the situations you were in "I did what I did because she took advantage of my emotions to hit on me." >she asks if I regret my actions "No." >some guy white-knight f----- who'd been giving me dirty looks says "You're a real a------, you know that?!" "Yes, but so are you otherwise you wouldn't be here." >lfLooksCouldKill.DLL >HR lady scolds him for being hostile and scolds me for antagonizing him >he constantly shoots me dirty looks for the rest of the meeting >mfw Next meeting is on Friday. I'll post another green text if anything noteworthy happens.
: Anonymous 05/04/21(Tue)07:44:56 No.853600905 >be me >have to go to anger management classes for a month for telling a coworker to f--- off >after work head to the first class >HR lady has everyone say their names and why they're there 17 KB JPG "Hi, I'm Anon. I'm here for making one of the women in my building cry." >meeting proceeds >she starts asking questions to everyone about why they acted how they did in the situations you were in "I did what I did because she took advantage of my emotions to hit on me." >she asks if I regret my actions "No." >some guy white-knight f----- who'd been giving me dirty looks says "You're a real a------, you know that?!" "Yes, but so are you otherwise you wouldn't be here." >lfLooksCouldKill.DLL >HR lady scolds him for being hostile and scolds me for antagonizing him >he constantly shoots me dirty looks for the rest of the meeting >mfw Next meeting is on Friday. I'll post another green text if anything noteworthy happens.

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Anon goes to the zoo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching 73 KB GIF planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?
: Anonymous 07/20/19(Sat)21:07:22 No.3086720 >been volunteering at the zoo >chatting with keeper about animals >mentions that they let the chimps watch movies in winter when they keep them inside >turns out they love watching 73 KB GIF planet of the apes over and over >they also caught one of the chimps making a weapon should I be worried?

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Anon is a toddler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Get mogged 05/03/21(Mon)17:18:07 No.63500037 >Be a toddler VeC T ng dwth thut An dy ou >Saw his teacher bending with her big ass >Take a selfie with her ass and share it to homies ne en >Got suspended but teacher was eyeballing him 40 KB JPG
: Anonymous Get mogged 05/03/21(Mon)17:18:07 No.63500037 >Be a toddler VeC T ng dwth thut An dy ou >Saw his teacher bending with her big ass >Take a selfie with her ass and share it to homies ne en >Got suspended but teacher was eyeballing him 40 KB JPG

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Deadpool roleplay sexy time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 5/04/21(Tue)02:39:21 No.853581053 >gf is mulatto >she isn't into capeshit but knows I love Marvel >watching Deadpool 2 >she is on her phone >looks up during a Domino scene >"hey that girl looks like me if I had an afro" >tell her she would look good with an afro >says she will then visit the hairdresser next day >come home >a cheap Deadpool costume before the bedroom door with a note "put it on then come in ;)" >put that s--- on and walk in >she dressed as Zazie Domino >thisiswherethefunbegins.jpg >in naughty tone she says "we saved the world Spider-Man, time to celebrate ;)" >whatthefuckdidyousayyoudumbthot.jp >leave the room >take off the crappy Deadpool s--- >storm out of apartment and go for a walk to calm down
Anonymous 5/04/21(Tue)02:39:21 No.853581053 >gf is mulatto >she isn't into capeshit but knows I love Marvel >watching Deadpool 2 >she is on her phone >looks up during a Domino scene >"hey that girl looks like me if I had an afro" >tell her she would look good with an afro >says she will then visit the hairdresser next day >come home >a cheap Deadpool costume before the bedroom door with a note "put it on then come in ;)" >put that s--- on and walk in >she dressed as Zazie Domino >thisiswherethefunbegins.jpg >in naughty tone she says "we saved the world Spider-Man, time to celebrate ;)" >whatthefuckdidyousayyoudumbthot.jp >leave the room >take off the crappy Deadpool s--- >storm out of apartment and go for a walk to calm down

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Anon needs help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)17:00:01 No.61287525 sus! sus! sus! sus! sus! su 1615015359942.jpg 156 KB JPG >>61287268 (OP) # >lifting doesn't help >pills don't help >reading doesn't help >"time alone" doesn't help >eating doesn't help >fasting doesn't help >"meditation" doesn't help >walking doesn't help It... it'll get better, right guys? >>61287591 # >>61287629 #
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)17:00:01 No.61287525 sus! sus! sus! sus! sus! su 1615015359942.jpg 156 KB JPG >>61287268 (OP) # >lifting doesn't help >pills don't help >reading doesn't help >"time alone" doesn't help >eating doesn't help >fasting doesn't help >"meditation" doesn't help >walking doesn't help It... it'll get better, right guys? >>61287591 # >>61287629 #

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Anon is financially stable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/13/20(Tue)23:00:30 No.837830448 >be me >17 >male >broke af >think of ways to make easy 19 KB PNG money >remember hearing about girls selling feet pics on OnlyFans >look at my feet >notice how feminine they look idea.jpg few weeks later >turn 18 >download OnlyFans on my phone >setup billing information and s--- >shave off all hair on my feet and lower legs >take pictures of feet >horny retards start paying monthly subscriptions for my feet >starts off slow but eventually start making decent money tfw I realize many grown men have nutted to my feet >doesn't matter, now financially stable
: Anonymous 10/13/20(Tue)23:00:30 No.837830448 >be me >17 >male >broke af >think of ways to make easy 19 KB PNG money >remember hearing about girls selling feet pics on OnlyFans >look at my feet >notice how feminine they look idea.jpg few weeks later >turn 18 >download OnlyFans on my phone >setup billing information and s--- >shave off all hair on my feet and lower legs >take pictures of feet >horny retards start paying monthly subscriptions for my feet >starts off slow but eventually start making decent money tfw I realize many grown men have nutted to my feet >doesn't matter, now financially stable

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Anon is a EMT driver | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)22:58:51 No.853594205 >Be me >EMT >Get called to accident on l-10 >car looks like a candy wrapper or some s--- >driver clearly dead at the scene >go to pull what's left of him out 314 КВ ЈPG of the wreck >hear radio still works >"Fruit Salad" by The Wiggles is playing >whatthehell.avi >One year later >Quit job, that call and some others f----- me up mentally >drive to brother's house for dinner one night >see nephew watching TV >he's watching The Wiggles >mfw
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)22:58:51 No.853594205 >Be me >EMT >Get called to accident on l-10 >car looks like a candy wrapper or some s--- >driver clearly dead at the scene >go to pull what's left of him out 314 КВ ЈPG of the wreck >hear radio still works >"Fruit Salad" by The Wiggles is playing >whatthehell.avi >One year later >Quit job, that call and some others f----- me up mentally >drive to brother's house for dinner one night >see nephew watching TV >he's watching The Wiggles >mfw

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Anon becomes a hero | /r/Greentext

>Winter 2011 >Grandpa had passed 4 months ago >Left me his WW2 stuff in a rusty box >Sleeping soundly >Hear a crash downstairs >Someone had broken in my window >Have no firearms >F---.f-- >Check Papa Box >F------ Luger tucked next to an SS cap >Luger is loaded >Slap hat on and run downstairs stark nekkid >Spot the f----- going through my entertainment center >Aim and scream first German words that pop into my head "PANZERKAMPFWAGEN SCHADENFREUDE" >Fire.exe until out of rounds >He bolted for the window, literally screaming and crying something about Nazi's supposed to be extinct. >Definitely hit him a few times since there was blood on the carpet. >Call cops, guy gets arrested, asked about Nazi stuff, tell story, cops love it. >Nekkid Nazi becomes neighborhood story.
>Winter 2011 >Grandpa had passed 4 months ago >Left me his WW2 stuff in a rusty box >Sleeping soundly >Hear a crash downstairs >Someone had broken in my window >Have no firearms >F---.f-- >Check Papa Box >F------ Luger tucked next to an SS cap >Luger is loaded >Slap hat on and run downstairs stark nekkid >Spot the f----- going through my entertainment center >Aim and scream first German words that pop into my head "PANZERKAMPFWAGEN SCHADENFREUDE" >Fire.exe until out of rounds >He bolted for the window, literally screaming and crying something about Nazi's supposed to be extinct. >Definitely hit him a few times since there was blood on the carpet. >Call cops, guy gets arrested, asked about Nazi stuff, tell story, cops love it. >Nekkid Nazi becomes neighborhood story.

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God is looking out for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/20(Fri)11:19:20 No.61442953 >be me >be a month and a half ago >tired of being a f------ virgin so I get on tinder and raw dog (which she didn't seem to mind) the first fat chick I match with feels, good man 9 KB PNG >be almost a month later >fatty tells me she has been late on her period so she did a pregnancy test and it came out positive >freak the hell out and deny everything >block her from everything but she keeps trying to contact me, fortunately she doesn't know where I live >decide to just lay low and keep ignoring her and it'll eventually go away >be a couple of weeks ago >friend of hers contacts me to tell me she got the rona >be today >just got a message from her friend, turns out the bitch died of covid >feels immense relief sometimes God is really looking out for you
: Anonymous 12/18/20(Fri)11:19:20 No.61442953 >be me >be a month and a half ago >tired of being a f------ virgin so I get on tinder and raw dog (which she didn't seem to mind) the first fat chick I match with feels, good man 9 KB PNG >be almost a month later >fatty tells me she has been late on her period so she did a pregnancy test and it came out positive >freak the hell out and deny everything >block her from everything but she keeps trying to contact me, fortunately she doesn't know where I live >decide to just lay low and keep ignoring her and it'll eventually go away >be a couple of weeks ago >friend of hers contacts me to tell me she got the rona >be today >just got a message from her friend, turns out the bitch died of covid >feels immense relief sometimes God is really looking out for you

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Anon is cozy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)21:04:37 No.63503742 > Be me about 5 months ago > Cold as f--- outside. Snow and s---. > Go inside > Take a hot shower > Get dried off and make a glass of 63 KB JPG hot chocolate > Light fireplace > Sit down on couch and start playing vidya > Dog jumps up next to me and lays down > Life is good
: Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)21:04:37 No.63503742 > Be me about 5 months ago > Cold as f--- outside. Snow and s---. > Go inside > Take a hot shower > Get dried off and make a glass of 63 KB JPG hot chocolate > Light fireplace > Sit down on couch and start playing vidya > Dog jumps up next to me and lays down > Life is good

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Anon's bamboozling tendies experience | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)11:40:37 No.62729154 >be at the store >see some vegetarian tendies on sale >meh might as well try them heard they taste the same >go home and open the package >suddenly the window breaks as a m----- rolls in >its Joe f------ Rogan >"no vegan b------- eat wild game like a man" >he takes out a bow and shoots my cat >jumps me the moment i start to hesitate >jiujitsu grapples me and almost chokes me to death >i instinctively grasp for air >notice a bong in my mouth >"dimethyltryptamine will help you see the light" >get blasted into a dimension more real than this one >filled with Joe Rogans preaching and doing standup >the propaganda nightmare lasts for multiple lifetimes >wake up shivering and broken >cry and whisper to myself "we are all apes" >Joe Rogan nods >"nothing more productive than some long form conversation" >takes my dead cat and leaves This always happens after I started using Spotify
Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)11:40:37 No.62729154 >be at the store >see some vegetarian tendies on sale >meh might as well try them heard they taste the same >go home and open the package >suddenly the window breaks as a m----- rolls in >its Joe f------ Rogan >"no vegan b------- eat wild game like a man" >he takes out a bow and shoots my cat >jumps me the moment i start to hesitate >jiujitsu grapples me and almost chokes me to death >i instinctively grasp for air >notice a bong in my mouth >"dimethyltryptamine will help you see the light" >get blasted into a dimension more real than this one >filled with Joe Rogans preaching and doing standup >the propaganda nightmare lasts for multiple lifetimes >wake up shivering and broken >cry and whisper to myself "we are all apes" >Joe Rogan nods >"nothing more productive than some long form conversation" >takes my dead cat and leaves This always happens after I started using Spotify

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Society moment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)18:02:06 No.63492472 Please be patient I have autism be wheelchair user: >Go to job interview >"I can do everything this job requires of me I just need a wheelchair ramp" >No, sorry 42 KB JPG >Lawsuit Be aspie: >Go to job interview >"I can do everything this job requires of me I just need a quiet place to work by myself >No, sorry >That's just how it is Why is this acceptable? Us autists are truly the most oppressed people : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)18:04:24 No.63492500 >>63492472 (OP) # No, gamers are. 189 KB PNG
: Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)18:02:06 No.63492472 Please be patient I have autism be wheelchair user: >Go to job interview >"I can do everything this job requires of me I just need a wheelchair ramp" >No, sorry 42 KB JPG >Lawsuit Be aspie: >Go to job interview >"I can do everything this job requires of me I just need a quiet place to work by myself >No, sorry >That's just how it is Why is this acceptable? Us autists are truly the most oppressed people : Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)18:04:24 No.63492500 >>63492472 (OP) # No, gamers are. 189 KB PNG

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"orea" dissolves | /r/Greentext

1603343108597.png (1.22 MB, 2560x1440) google yandex iqdb wait O Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)21:27:32 No.63492792 v >>63492801 >>63493784 >put oreo in mouth >oreo dissolves h-------- I will never crunch on an orea again O Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)21:28:27 No.63492801 v 1606891426777.gif (16 KB, 750x750) google yandex iqdb wait >>63492792 (OP) d-d-dissolved? This dude has pH 1 saliva.
1603343108597.png (1.22 MB, 2560x1440) google yandex iqdb wait O Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)21:27:32 No.63492792 v >>63492801 >>63493784 >put oreo in mouth >oreo dissolves h-------- I will never crunch on an orea again O Anonymous 05/02/21(Sun)21:28:27 No.63492801 v 1606891426777.gif (16 KB, 750x750) google yandex iqdb wait >>63492792 (OP) d-d-dissolved? This dude has pH 1 saliva.

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Freedom units | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 9GnJ18h3)[I 05/03/21(Mon)04:04:44 No.12659694 >Farenheit >Imperial >Pounds >Feet >Inches >Americans 161 KB PNG 11 Replies / 6 Images View Thread : Anonymous (ID: nk2sDDPC ) 05/03/21 (Mon)07:46:26 No.12660273 >>12659694 (OP) # > he can't handle freedom units
: Anonymous (ID: 9GnJ18h3)[I 05/03/21(Mon)04:04:44 No.12659694 >Farenheit >Imperial >Pounds >Feet >Inches >Americans 161 KB PNG 11 Replies / 6 Images View Thread : Anonymous (ID: nk2sDDPC ) 05/03/21 (Mon)07:46:26 No.12660273 >>12659694 (OP) # > he can't handle freedom units

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Anon is boring | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HOW THE F--- DO I TALK TO WOME(...) 05/03/21(Mon)10:29:10 No.63500162 >be me >never had a gf, gave up on women >plan suicide >out of nowhere, a woman actually gives me a chance >she isn't a landwhale and is fit and 449 KB PNG kind of hot >I haven't had friends, online friends or any interactions with women in the past 5 years >literally have nothing to talk about with her >incapable of having normal conversations >she says im boring >she still refuses to give up on me >mfw ITS F------ OVER 6 Replies View Thread : fred 05/03/21(Mon)10:32:31 No.63500202 >>63500162 (OP)# seethe and cope op, seethe and cope
: Anonymous HOW THE F--- DO I TALK TO WOME(...) 05/03/21(Mon)10:29:10 No.63500162 >be me >never had a gf, gave up on women >plan suicide >out of nowhere, a woman actually gives me a chance >she isn't a landwhale and is fit and 449 KB PNG kind of hot >I haven't had friends, online friends or any interactions with women in the past 5 years >literally have nothing to talk about with her >incapable of having normal conversations >she says im boring >she still refuses to give up on me >mfw ITS F------ OVER 6 Replies View Thread : fred 05/03/21(Mon)10:32:31 No.63500202 >>63500162 (OP)# seethe and cope op, seethe and cope

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