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Nice ending lol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/17/18(Mon)13:41:58 No.787577374 >be me, 15 >sister, 17 walks out of shower her towel is hanging very loosely on her body >tell her to tighten it up, she nods and walks off 5 KB JPG >go have a shower and forget about it because I'm not a degenerate >have sex with my mom later that night 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 12/17/18(Mon)13:41:58 No.787577374 >be me, 15 >sister, 17 walks out of shower her towel is hanging very loosely on her body >tell her to tighten it up, she nods and walks off 5 KB JPG >go have a shower and forget about it because I'm not a degenerate >have sex with my mom later that night 3 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon had a cool battery collection | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)06:42:17 No.63233233 >had a battery collection in 3rd grade, got suspended for bringing it to school >constantly taunted girls about how they were going to get pregnant >poked another retard until he screamed at the school talent 62 KB JPG show >believed that I had legitimate super powers and managed to convince another student of it >ate woodchips at recess >played multiplayer board games with myself at after-school daycare >mixed the contents of my lunch into a giant soup and force-fed it to one of my friends >ran around putting snow down other people's backs at recess I'm glad I moved across the country after elementary school, l'd never be able to live my autism down. 13 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)06:42:17 No.63233233 >had a battery collection in 3rd grade, got suspended for bringing it to school >constantly taunted girls about how they were going to get pregnant >poked another retard until he screamed at the school talent 62 KB JPG show >believed that I had legitimate super powers and managed to convince another student of it >ate woodchips at recess >played multiplayer board games with myself at after-school daycare >mixed the contents of my lunch into a giant soup and force-fed it to one of my friends >ran around putting snow down other people's backs at recess I'm glad I moved across the country after elementary school, l'd never be able to live my autism down. 13 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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God looks out for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/18/20(Fri)11:19:20 No.61442953 >be me >be a month and a half ago >tired of being a f------ virgin so I get on tinder and raw dog (which she didn't seem to mind) the first fat chick I match with feels, goan 9 KB PNG >be almost a month later >fatty tells me she has been late on her period so she did a pregnancy test and it came out positive >freak the hell out and deny everything >block her from everything but she keeps trying to contact me, fortunately she doesn't know where I live >decide to just lay low and keep ignoring her and it'll eventually go away >be a couple of weeks ago >friend of hers contacts me to tell me she got the rona >be today >just got a message from her friend, turns out the bitch died of covid >feels immense relief sometimes God is really looking out for you
: Anonymous 12/18/20(Fri)11:19:20 No.61442953 >be me >be a month and a half ago >tired of being a f------ virgin so I get on tinder and raw dog (which she didn't seem to mind) the first fat chick I match with feels, goan 9 KB PNG >be almost a month later >fatty tells me she has been late on her period so she did a pregnancy test and it came out positive >freak the hell out and deny everything >block her from everything but she keeps trying to contact me, fortunately she doesn't know where I live >decide to just lay low and keep ignoring her and it'll eventually go away >be a couple of weeks ago >friend of hers contacts me to tell me she got the rona >be today >just got a message from her friend, turns out the bitch died of covid >feels immense relief sometimes God is really looking out for you

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Anon misses GF | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)07:48:36 No.852217512 >god I miss her >be driving >miss my exit >full of rage >reach over to hit her for giving bad directions 107 KB PNG >she's not there >god I miss her
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)07:48:36 No.852217512 >god I miss her >be driving >miss my exit >full of rage >reach over to hit her for giving bad directions 107 KB PNG >she's not there >god I miss her

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Anon's troll cost a trip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)08:38:22 No.63234414 >>63234216 # >drew a penis on the dry erase board, got the whole class in trouble, we weren't allowed to go on a trip noW 46 KB JPG
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)08:38:22 No.63234414 >>63234216 # >drew a penis on the dry erase board, got the whole class in trouble, we weren't allowed to go on a trip noW 46 KB JPG

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Anon finds a glitch in the Matrix...? | /r/Greentext

: noko...also the game 09/29/17(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. : Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #
: noko...also the game 09/29/17(Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh l'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. : Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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step sibling fun time | /r/Greentext

>walk in on step-sis accidentally when she is in the bathroom >see a bit of a t---- for a solid second >she covers herself and starts screeching I must leave >brain switches to coomer mode >tell her maybe I can help her wash her back >she raises an eyebrow in shock >tell her we could have some step-bro step-sis time together >kicks me out while calling me a f----up >tells my mom and her dad (my step-dad) >they ask what the f--- gotten into me >two weeks passed but I can still see in their eyes they consider me some weirdo perv >tfw p--- unironically made me into a retard
>walk in on step-sis accidentally when she is in the bathroom >see a bit of a t---- for a solid second >she covers herself and starts screeching I must leave >brain switches to coomer mode >tell her maybe I can help her wash her back >she raises an eyebrow in shock >tell her we could have some step-bro step-sis time together >kicks me out while calling me a f----up >tells my mom and her dad (my step-dad) >they ask what the f--- gotten into me >two weeks passed but I can still see in their eyes they consider me some weirdo perv >tfw p--- unironically made me into a retard

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Anon devises a plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)20:24:43 No.852187990 urePics maxresdefault.jpg 69 KB JPG >become a gril >get that cybercunt 2077 >invent a time machine >travel back in time >"go f--- yourself" they always say >do it later virgins View Thread
: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)20:24:43 No.852187990 urePics maxresdefault.jpg 69 KB JPG >become a gril >get that cybercunt 2077 >invent a time machine >travel back in time >"go f--- yourself" they always say >do it later virgins View Thread

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Anon goes to America | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)19:15:00 No.852213961 NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens 10/02/17 8:46am - SEE MORE: NEWS MAND AMR Ini al lep POLICE unpreventable.png 799 KB PNG >go to America >get shot
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)19:15:00 No.852213961 NEWS IN BRIEF 'No Way To Prevent This,' Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens 10/02/17 8:46am - SEE MORE: NEWS MAND AMR Ini al lep POLICE unpreventable.png 799 KB PNG >go to America >get shot

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Lego anon criticize Egypt's landmark | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ! 09/28/19(Sat)11:37:48 No.111908715 >woooow look we stacked a bunch of rocks on top of eachother >please clap 757 KB PNG : Anonymous 09/28/19(Sat)11:43:12 No.111908983 Bad thread : Anonymous 09/28/19(Sat)11:44:34 No.111909056 yea thats kiddie s--- remember that famous denmark construction like uuuhh wait you dont have any denmark more like nolandmarks Imao >>111909912 # >>111910166 # >>111910244 # >>111910271 # >>111910337 # >>111910383 # >>111910512 # >>111910534 # >>111910535 # >>111910593 # >>111910616 # >>111910734 # >>111910789 # >>111910822 # >>111910844 #
: Anonymous ! 09/28/19(Sat)11:37:48 No.111908715 >woooow look we stacked a bunch of rocks on top of eachother >please clap 757 KB PNG : Anonymous 09/28/19(Sat)11:43:12 No.111908983 Bad thread : Anonymous 09/28/19(Sat)11:44:34 No.111909056 yea thats kiddie s--- remember that famous denmark construction like uuuhh wait you dont have any denmark more like nolandmarks Imao >>111909912 # >>111910166 # >>111910244 # >>111910271 # >>111910337 # >>111910383 # >>111910512 # >>111910534 # >>111910535 # >>111910593 # >>111910616 # >>111910734 # >>111910789 # >>111910822 # >>111910844 #

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Anon likes to get beaten | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)21:51:53 No.63235495 >>63234844 (OP)# >get into kickboxing >start identifying as a girl >get to fight a woman >dont fight back or resist >if anyone tries to kick you out just call them transphobic and try to get them cancelled easy >>63236389 #
: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)21:51:53 No.63235495 >>63234844 (OP)# >get into kickboxing >start identifying as a girl >get to fight a woman >dont fight back or resist >if anyone tries to kick you out just call them transphobic and try to get them cancelled easy >>63236389 #

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Kanye is a mad lad | /r/Greentext

>kanye west replaces zayn in one direction >kanye kicks everyone out of the band >"there's only one direction 51 KB JPG fam" >tfw it's west
>kanye west replaces zayn in one direction >kanye kicks everyone out of the band >"there's only one direction 51 KB JPG fam" >tfw it's west

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Anon is disappointed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)22:12:08 No.63235727 >finally get a gf >tfw its not that good lol what the f--- 62 KB JPG 8 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)22:12:08 No.63235727 >finally get a gf >tfw its not that good lol what the f--- 62 KB JPG 8 Replies View Thread

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Anon hates Chrome | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)19:49:56 No.852185881 1544727678226.jpg 99 KB JPG >Chrome crashes >90 tabs worth of s--- that I've collected over 2 weeks gone in an instant What the f--- chrome 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)19:49:56 No.852185881 1544727678226.jpg 99 KB JPG >Chrome crashes >90 tabs worth of s--- that I've collected over 2 weeks gone in an instant What the f--- chrome 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon loves his wife | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)19:17:57 No.233047 ► >>233051 >>233470 >>252405 >>255429 >>257322 File: 1590329951756.jpg (369 KB, 1200x1166) Cheating to win is retarded, but cheating to grief is fun >download cheats >target one guy on the enemy team >instakill him start of every round >play intentionally retarded for the rest of the round and miss all my shots >dude is calling hacks in chat >no one believes him >he rage quit >another match >find out the cheat has a spectator list >wait for one guy on my team to die and spectate me >blatantly look at people through walls >peek out looking exactly at enemies so he knows im hacking >dont shoot and die >play intentionally retarded >only look at people through walls when that one guy spectates me >dude calls me a hacker >no one believes him >team vote kicks him for being annoying
O Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)19:17:57 No.233047 ► >>233051 >>233470 >>252405 >>255429 >>257322 File: 1590329951756.jpg (369 KB, 1200x1166) Cheating to win is retarded, but cheating to grief is fun >download cheats >target one guy on the enemy team >instakill him start of every round >play intentionally retarded for the rest of the round and miss all my shots >dude is calling hacks in chat >no one believes him >he rage quit >another match >find out the cheat has a spectator list >wait for one guy on my team to die and spectate me >blatantly look at people through walls >peek out looking exactly at enemies so he knows im hacking >dont shoot and die >play intentionally retarded >only look at people through walls when that one guy spectates me >dude calls me a hacker >no one believes him >team vote kicks him for being annoying

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Anon feels super cool driving around | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)02:09:27 No.852179934 >be me a few months ago >17 year old edgelord who just got his driving license and a car >feel super cool driving around alone or with friends and listening to rhodesian music with open 1.92 MB PNG windows >one night, just a few weeks before my 18th birthday (the fact that it was just a few weeks before my 18th birtday doesnt really matter, just obligatory to write so the mod cucks dont think im underage) >drive around the city with my cousins who are from another city late at night >i pass a car far too fast, honk and drive away >few mins later the lights turn red and i have to stop >i see the car next to me >a n---- opens the window and starts shouting at me >i just turn on rhodesians never die >that guy starts screaming about how racist rhodesia was, that hes going to call the police because i called him a n---- and because i was driving too fast >just drive away even tho the lights are still red >that idiot also drives away >he gets rammed by another car >next morning i read the newspaper >he f------ died and they found alcohol and fentanyle in his bloodstream
: Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)02:09:27 No.852179934 >be me a few months ago >17 year old edgelord who just got his driving license and a car >feel super cool driving around alone or with friends and listening to rhodesian music with open 1.92 MB PNG windows >one night, just a few weeks before my 18th birthday (the fact that it was just a few weeks before my 18th birtday doesnt really matter, just obligatory to write so the mod cucks dont think im underage) >drive around the city with my cousins who are from another city late at night >i pass a car far too fast, honk and drive away >few mins later the lights turn red and i have to stop >i see the car next to me >a n---- opens the window and starts shouting at me >i just turn on rhodesians never die >that guy starts screaming about how racist rhodesia was, that hes going to call the police because i called him a n---- and because i was driving too fast >just drive away even tho the lights are still red >that idiot also drives away >he gets rammed by another car >next morning i read the newspaper >he f------ died and they found alcohol and fentanyle in his bloodstream

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Anon is a dog | /r/Greentext

: Woof 04/16/21(Fri)06:54:42 No.63235535 >be me, dog in a white American family >every day my f----- of an owner takes me outside when I just wanna s--- in the house >makes me poop on the grass and 54 KB JPG walk around the same block a million times >throws a stick and makes me get it for him >mfw when the second I give him the stick the tard throws it again Doganons, are human owners autistic? Should I just take the streetdogpill : Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)07:18:07 No.63235797 >be dog >owner is white woman >tfw she makes me do unspeakable things to her dont trust the peanut butter bros... 5 KB JPG
: Woof 04/16/21(Fri)06:54:42 No.63235535 >be me, dog in a white American family >every day my f----- of an owner takes me outside when I just wanna s--- in the house >makes me poop on the grass and 54 KB JPG walk around the same block a million times >throws a stick and makes me get it for him >mfw when the second I give him the stick the tard throws it again Doganons, are human owners autistic? Should I just take the streetdogpill : Anonymous 04/16/21(Fri)07:18:07 No.63235797 >be dog >owner is white woman >tfw she makes me do unspeakable things to her dont trust the peanut butter bros... 5 KB JPG

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Anon likes magnets | /r/Greentext

File: Magnetic-Rattlesnake-Eggs.jpg (45 KB, 551x421) Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)23:44:19 No.852197083 [Reply] ► >>852197578 >ZOINK
File: Magnetic-Rattlesnake-Eggs.jpg (45 KB, 551x421) Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)23:44:19 No.852197083 [Reply] ► >>852197578 >ZOINK

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Anon questions god | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)10:23:28 No.10897669 >Australian bushfires >COVID-19 pandemic >stock market crash >Beirut explosion >West Coast wildfires >devastating floods in Indonesia >earthquake and tsunami in 113 KB JPG Greece and Turkey How can a loving god cause such agony? 11 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)10:36:31 No.10897754 >>10897669 (OP) # >Earth is no longer paradise after humans chose sin in defiance >Bible says these kinds of things will happen increasingly >better go insinuate that God isn't real on 4channel
: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)10:23:28 No.10897669 >Australian bushfires >COVID-19 pandemic >stock market crash >Beirut explosion >West Coast wildfires >devastating floods in Indonesia >earthquake and tsunami in 113 KB JPG Greece and Turkey How can a loving god cause such agony? 11 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)10:36:31 No.10897754 >>10897669 (OP) # >Earth is no longer paradise after humans chose sin in defiance >Bible says these kinds of things will happen increasingly >better go insinuate that God isn't real on 4channel

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Anon tries dating | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)18:17:03 No.63231304 >>63227889 >be me >match with 7/10 qt3.14 >first date went well, land a second 25 KB JPG >plan to take her on a picnic by a lake, play some guitar for her >we meet up get some snacks and go to the lake >lm actually coming down hard off acid >cant even hold a decent conversation >strum a few chords and tell her Im sorry >too f----- up to even function >date was a failure basically >somehow she agrees to a third date >we go pubcrawling >get wasted on tequila >at one bar introduces me to a guy >says hes her f--- buddy and leaves with him >tfw I got cucked by a tinder thot
: Anonymous 04/15/21(Thu)18:17:03 No.63231304 >>63227889 >be me >match with 7/10 qt3.14 >first date went well, land a second 25 KB JPG >plan to take her on a picnic by a lake, play some guitar for her >we meet up get some snacks and go to the lake >lm actually coming down hard off acid >cant even hold a decent conversation >strum a few chords and tell her Im sorry >too f----- up to even function >date was a failure basically >somehow she agrees to a third date >we go pubcrawling >get wasted on tequila >at one bar introduces me to a guy >says hes her f--- buddy and leaves with him >tfw I got cucked by a tinder thot

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