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Anon can’t fathom how hecking awesome reddit is | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.52 MB PNG 02/15/24(Sun)03:52:50 No.78624 >Be me, Reddit thread >Top comment: mildly amusing >Preceding comment: similar, but with a slightly humorous twist >Next 8 comments: same joke, progressively less funny why are reddit users like this?
: Anonymous 1.52 MB PNG 02/15/24(Sun)03:52:50 No.78624 >Be me, Reddit thread >Top comment: mildly amusing >Preceding comment: similar, but with a slightly humorous twist >Next 8 comments: same joke, progressively less funny why are reddit users like this?

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My Comrade | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: xahLGWW+) Settings Mobile Home 02/16/25(Sun)10:39:10 No.497664805 Replace Zelensky with Putin and Ukrainians with Russians Anonymous (ID: 8qAR/IV9 ) >>497664805 Found the Russian 02/16/25(Sun)10:39:51 No.497664854
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: xahLGWW+) Settings Mobile Home 02/16/25(Sun)10:39:10 No.497664805 Replace Zelensky with Putin and Ukrainians with Russians Anonymous (ID: 8qAR/IV9 ) >>497664805 Found the Russian 02/16/25(Sun)10:39:51 No.497664854

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Anon isn't gay guys | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 07/08/24(Mon)23:56:27 No.78091555 File: f.jpg (114 KB, 731x511) IN 114 KB JPG >>78091535 I'm not gay, but I will 100% take the opportunity to be f----- by a dude. I wouldn't even say I'm bi, since I have zero interest in a relationship with a man. I just love getting pounded is all. If I get f----- and swallow some c-- and have an orgasm or two, I generally feel ready to go again, but I definitely don't want to hang out with the guy or kiss or hold hands or any of that gay s--- afterwards. Wouldn't say I'm attracted to men at all really.
☐ Anonymous 07/08/24(Mon)23:56:27 No.78091555 File: f.jpg (114 KB, 731x511) IN 114 KB JPG >>78091535 I'm not gay, but I will 100% take the opportunity to be f----- by a dude. I wouldn't even say I'm bi, since I have zero interest in a relationship with a man. I just love getting pounded is all. If I get f----- and swallow some c-- and have an orgasm or two, I generally feel ready to go again, but I definitely don't want to hang out with the guy or kiss or hold hands or any of that gay s--- afterwards. Wouldn't say I'm attracted to men at all really.

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Anon hates taxes | /r/Greentext

05862538-EA34-42E7-8199-Eng(174 KB, 750x1060) 9999 yandex job wait ⚫ PUREXBOX Xbox Fan Wins 'Game Pass For Life', But Shockingly Declines The Prize ♥ Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:29:42 No.658918440 >>658918619 >>658921256 >>win free games for life >sorry goy you need to pay taxes on your hypothetical earnings Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:31:29 No.658918619 >>658918735 Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:58:35 No.658021397 1541743929400.jpg A (19 KB. 306x243) google yandex indo wa B >>658918440 (OP) How much was the tax? >company wants to give you >"humdur you now have to pay us god i hate the government Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:32:36 No.658918735 >>658919295 >>658919396 >>658919548 >>658919985 >>658920528 >>658020917 >>658921130 >>658918619 >In a post on r/Microsoft Rewards, Elvite explained that had they accepted the prize, they would have $7,300 of added taxable income to their 2023 taxes, which would have required them to pay about $1,752 more on their federal tax bill on top of state income tax. Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:35:12 No.658918985 >accept free prize >money stolen In the laaaaanndddd of le frescsecse aaannnddddd thhheeeeee hooooooommmmeeee of ttttthhhhhheeeeeee fffffaaaaaaaaaaaa Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:35:36 No.658919028 >>658919661 >>658920258 How can something free be taxed? Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:38:18 No.658919295 >>658919440 >>658918735 O! SAY CAN YOU SEE Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:39:21 No.658919387 huh how the f--- are games that are not resellable taxable Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:39:25 No.658919396 nia.png (438 KB, 550x566) google vandex job wait >>658918735 DO AMERICANS REALLY? Better not leverage those costs to the trillion dollar megacorp Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:39:42 No.658019428 >>658919742 >>658919818 The prize should be gamepass for life +1752 dollars Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:44:21 No.658919908 "This prize has no actual cash value unless the IRS comes asking." Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:54:10 No.658920917 >>658918735 why are you locked in the bathroom
05862538-EA34-42E7-8199-Eng(174 KB, 750x1060) 9999 yandex job wait ⚫ PUREXBOX Xbox Fan Wins 'Game Pass For Life', But Shockingly Declines The Prize ♥ Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:29:42 No.658918440 >>658918619 >>658921256 >>win free games for life >sorry goy you need to pay taxes on your hypothetical earnings Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:31:29 No.658918619 >>658918735 Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:58:35 No.658021397 1541743929400.jpg A (19 KB. 306x243) google yandex indo wa B >>658918440 (OP) How much was the tax? >company wants to give you >"humdur you now have to pay us god i hate the government Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:32:36 No.658918735 >>658919295 >>658919396 >>658919548 >>658919985 >>658920528 >>658020917 >>658921130 >>658918619 >In a post on r/Microsoft Rewards, Elvite explained that had they accepted the prize, they would have $7,300 of added taxable income to their 2023 taxes, which would have required them to pay about $1,752 more on their federal tax bill on top of state income tax. Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:35:12 No.658918985 >accept free prize >money stolen In the laaaaanndddd of le frescsecse aaannnddddd thhheeeeee hooooooommmmeeee of ttttthhhhhheeeeeee fffffaaaaaaaaaaaa Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:35:36 No.658919028 >>658919661 >>658920258 How can something free be taxed? Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:38:18 No.658919295 >>658919440 >>658918735 O! SAY CAN YOU SEE Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:39:21 No.658919387 huh how the f--- are games that are not resellable taxable Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:39:25 No.658919396 nia.png (438 KB, 550x566) google vandex job wait >>658918735 DO AMERICANS REALLY? Better not leverage those costs to the trillion dollar megacorp Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:39:42 No.658019428 >>658919742 >>658919818 The prize should be gamepass for life +1752 dollars Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:44:21 No.658919908 "This prize has no actual cash value unless the IRS comes asking." Anonymous 11/28/23(Tue)15:54:10 No.658920917 >>658918735 why are you locked in the bathroom

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Be grateful towards parents | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/25(Sun)18:49:11 No.80376332 GDEv7-eWUAAeqtp.png 675 KB PNG >Wake up on sunday expecting to have a good gaming session the whole day >Parents excitedly announce we're going out to eat lunch >Don't want to go butl know they'll make me feel like a d--- for not going I feel like there's no winning with s--- like this. Am I really being an a------ for not going? Or just a p---- for being a people pleaser?
: Anonymous 02/16/25(Sun)18:49:11 No.80376332 GDEv7-eWUAAeqtp.png 675 KB PNG >Wake up on sunday expecting to have a good gaming session the whole day >Parents excitedly announce we're going out to eat lunch >Don't want to go butl know they'll make me feel like a d--- for not going I feel like there's no winning with s--- like this. Am I really being an a------ for not going? Or just a p---- for being a people pleaser?

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European Solutions | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: vDDSSKCk ) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 02/16/25(Sun)11:03:21 No.497666614 1SP: 1541 209 KB PNG >Be the EU, mid 1990s >Gasoline cars produce too much CO2 emissions >Begin forcing people to buy diesel cars due to lower CO2 emissions >Force manufacturers to make their flagship cars all diesel >Force manufacturers to adhere to unrealistic fuel consumption standards Sounds like a great idea! With the best of intentions! >FFW 2015 >Upwards of 60% of all cars sold are diesel >EPA finds out that diesel cars produce more particulate pollution >EPA finds out that diesel cars consume more fuel than advertised >VW group is caught in a scandal costing them $32bn >FFW to today >Most models no longer come with diesels unless they are for taxis >Diesel cars still exist on the roads, however, increasing pollution in cities >Cities ban diesel cars >Price of used diesel cars go down >All diesel cars are sold to people who live in rural areas where they are likely to drive more, thus increasing pollution TL;DR: A 30 year effort to reduce pollution by the EU resulted in more pollution. Is there anything they have done successfully?
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: vDDSSKCk ) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 02/16/25(Sun)11:03:21 No.497666614 1SP: 1541 209 KB PNG >Be the EU, mid 1990s >Gasoline cars produce too much CO2 emissions >Begin forcing people to buy diesel cars due to lower CO2 emissions >Force manufacturers to make their flagship cars all diesel >Force manufacturers to adhere to unrealistic fuel consumption standards Sounds like a great idea! With the best of intentions! >FFW 2015 >Upwards of 60% of all cars sold are diesel >EPA finds out that diesel cars produce more particulate pollution >EPA finds out that diesel cars consume more fuel than advertised >VW group is caught in a scandal costing them $32bn >FFW to today >Most models no longer come with diesels unless they are for taxis >Diesel cars still exist on the roads, however, increasing pollution in cities >Cities ban diesel cars >Price of used diesel cars go down >All diesel cars are sold to people who live in rural areas where they are likely to drive more, thus increasing pollution TL;DR: A 30 year effort to reduce pollution by the EU resulted in more pollution. Is there anything they have done successfully?

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Austrianon is prepared for the apocalypse | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: hRHIflPy) = >>497652404 Settings Mobile Home 02/16/25(Sun)07:49:17 No.497653811 >"If you get rid of p--- men will approach women in public" My 80TB offline strongly disagree. Started collection because you can smell the systems desperation for new taxable cattle everywhere now.
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: hRHIflPy) = >>497652404 Settings Mobile Home 02/16/25(Sun)07:49:17 No.497653811 >"If you get rid of p--- men will approach women in public" My 80TB offline strongly disagree. Started collection because you can smell the systems desperation for new taxable cattle everywhere now.

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Anon made a mistake | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01.02.2025, 05:18:37 > be 2020 > have deeply autistic brother > one day talk to him about hobbies > suggest to him that he should learn japanese so that he can watch anime without subs > he starts learning it > devotes more and more time to it > eventually refuses to communicate in english, only japanese >mfw parents and i don't know what to do > eventually our parents start learning japanese to communicate with him This was 5 years ago. im the only one in the family who doesn't speak japanese now. i hate myself every day for making this dumb suggestion to him
Anonymous 01.02.2025, 05:18:37 > be 2020 > have deeply autistic brother > one day talk to him about hobbies > suggest to him that he should learn japanese so that he can watch anime without subs > he starts learning it > devotes more and more time to it > eventually refuses to communicate in english, only japanese >mfw parents and i don't know what to do > eventually our parents start learning japanese to communicate with him This was 5 years ago. im the only one in the family who doesn't speak japanese now. i hate myself every day for making this dumb suggestion to him

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Secret to success | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/13/25(Thu)07:12:50 No.702880981 1718428132709115 (1).png 3.37 MB PNG Marvel Rivals is so popular... why? Anonymous such an assortment 02/13/25(Thu)07:14:08 No.702881063 >>702881224 # >>702881938 # >>702885229 # >>702887632 # >>702894136 #
: Anonymous 02/13/25(Thu)07:12:50 No.702880981 1718428132709115 (1).png 3.37 MB PNG Marvel Rivals is so popular... why? Anonymous such an assortment 02/13/25(Thu)07:14:08 No.702881063 >>702881224 # >>702881938 # >>702885229 # >>702887632 # >>702894136 #

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Anon impersonates a schoolteacher | /r/Greentext

Most evil thing you've ever done thread No.54644228 09/30/19(Mon)07:16:32 evil.jpg JPG 31.6 KiB 404x512 >Bored as f--- >Call random number >Woman answers >"Hi it's the school calling about your child" >"About Jack? what's wrong?" >"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands" >"Really?" >"Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet" >Hang up
Most evil thing you've ever done thread No.54644228 09/30/19(Mon)07:16:32 evil.jpg JPG 31.6 KiB 404x512 >Bored as f--- >Call random number >Woman answers >"Hi it's the school calling about your child" >"About Jack? what's wrong?" >"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands" >"Really?" >"Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet" >Hang up

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Happy memories | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/15/25(Sat)22:27:48 No.80372699 211 KB PNG My mom broke the wii fit in 2008 Still makes me laugh till this day Anonymous >>80372699 (OP) more like wii fat 02/15/25(Sat)22:36:40 No.80372769
Anonymous 02/15/25(Sat)22:27:48 No.80372699 211 KB PNG My mom broke the wii fit in 2008 Still makes me laugh till this day Anonymous >>80372699 (OP) more like wii fat 02/15/25(Sat)22:36:40 No.80372769

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Multiple tabs needed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/14/25(Fri)20:57:24 No.703053507 ...IS SO ASS. THIS S---... >game has three wikis Rammiprodnes 60 KB JPG
Anonymous 02/14/25(Fri)20:57:24 No.703053507 ...IS SO ASS. THIS S---... >game has three wikis Rammiprodnes 60 KB JPG

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op loses his headphones and has to get creative | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_6941.jpg (1.57 MB, 2925x2343) ☐ attach phone to headband to create makeshift headphones ANON WAZ HERE 02/15/25(Sat) 14:49:48 No.104357286 >be me a long time ago. like. a really long time ago >mom takes away my headphones because I didnt hear her knocking on the door one time >music becomes much less enjoyable, I can only tolerate specific genres >get absolutely SICK OF IT >attach phone to headband to create makeshift headphones >works for phone calls and listening to music, but looks silly any suggestions for improving this creation?
File: IMG_6941.jpg (1.57 MB, 2925x2343) ☐ attach phone to headband to create makeshift headphones ANON WAZ HERE 02/15/25(Sat) 14:49:48 No.104357286 >be me a long time ago. like. a really long time ago >mom takes away my headphones because I didnt hear her knocking on the door one time >music becomes much less enjoyable, I can only tolerate specific genres >get absolutely SICK OF IT >attach phone to headband to create makeshift headphones >works for phone calls and listening to music, but looks silly any suggestions for improving this creation?

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(spoilered because a glitch happened with the thing that censors spoilers) antishippers act totally ...

File: Screen Shot 2025-02-15 at(...).png (1004 KB, 1180x1796) copare ha Post your reply ntishippers act totally irrational over 2 roblox characters kissing ANON WAZ HERE 02/15/25(Sat)11:25:12 No. 1635888 for context, this ship is from a game called phighting, which is a roblox color vs color pvp game where 2 teams of 5 battle eachother using different characters known as phighters, which all have their own unique playstyle. the characters involved in this ship are subspace and medkit. **they used to be coworkers, but got into a fight leading subspace to rip medkits eye out, which made medkit flee from BlackRock (the faction they were in) and move to lost temple, where he joined the church of the true eye and now works with scythe and broker** >be me >in the phighting phandom for over a year >not a big fan of subkit, but I'm ok with it as I am a proshipper >go on twitter >this guy claims he got r---- for shipping subkit?? >look deeper >apparently more than 1 person has been s------ on over this ship >find a clip from a sodakettle live stream (soda is one of the game devs btw) that I skipped because why would I watch her streams when I can get a summary of them from thebogtimez >the clip shows someone telling her about all the harassment towards subkit shippers, saying that they are getting sent r--- threats, death threats, getting doxxed, getting kicked out of their homes, and it makes them feel unsafe and try to kill themselves >the person claims a lot of it was linked to posts she made >I remember soda once saying she dislikes subkit but that's about it >shes just laughing about it and said its not her fault, and that it doesn't matter if she says anything because the people harassing the subkitters wont listen to her anyway >shes now getting cancelled on twitter for insensitivity >taph (a mod for another roblox game called forsaken) posted about soda, criticizing her reaction and showing the clip of her >she ends up blocking taph >I look even deeper >there's now a twitter hashtag called #fuckyousoda where people are absolutely FLAMING her. one guy said: " MAE 0 0 12" basically telling her to kill herself
File: Screen Shot 2025-02-15 at(...).png (1004 KB, 1180x1796) copare ha Post your reply ntishippers act totally irrational over 2 roblox characters kissing ANON WAZ HERE 02/15/25(Sat)11:25:12 No. 1635888 for context, this ship is from a game called phighting, which is a roblox color vs color pvp game where 2 teams of 5 battle eachother using different characters known as phighters, which all have their own unique playstyle. the characters involved in this ship are subspace and medkit. **they used to be coworkers, but got into a fight leading subspace to rip medkits eye out, which made medkit flee from BlackRock (the faction they were in) and move to lost temple, where he joined the church of the true eye and now works with scythe and broker** >be me >in the phighting phandom for over a year >not a big fan of subkit, but I'm ok with it as I am a proshipper >go on twitter >this guy claims he got r---- for shipping subkit?? >look deeper >apparently more than 1 person has been s------ on over this ship >find a clip from a sodakettle live stream (soda is one of the game devs btw) that I skipped because why would I watch her streams when I can get a summary of them from thebogtimez >the clip shows someone telling her about all the harassment towards subkit shippers, saying that they are getting sent r--- threats, death threats, getting doxxed, getting kicked out of their homes, and it makes them feel unsafe and try to kill themselves >the person claims a lot of it was linked to posts she made >I remember soda once saying she dislikes subkit but that's about it >shes just laughing about it and said its not her fault, and that it doesn't matter if she says anything because the people harassing the subkitters wont listen to her anyway >shes now getting cancelled on twitter for insensitivity >taph (a mod for another roblox game called forsaken) posted about soda, criticizing her reaction and showing the clip of her >she ends up blocking taph >I look even deeper >there's now a twitter hashtag called #fuckyousoda where people are absolutely FLAMING her. one guy said: " MAE 0 0 12" basically telling her to kill herself

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what do u guys think of varesa?? | /r/Greentext

File: Screen Shot 2025-02-15 at(...).png (3.32 MB, 2301x1178) everyone on twitter is shidding on hoyoverse for this ANON WAZ HERE 02/15/25(Sat) 10:18:55 No.703091893 >hoyoverse is known for their playable characters being very skinny >they decide to add a "plus size" character >shes half cow (although she could be a bull. I'm not sure) >her attacks consist of her slamming her body on the ground >she LOVES food: she is a competitive eater who once ate 80 grainfruit pizzas at once >most wouldn't consider her plus sized, she literally has a flat stomach and hourglass waist. her boobs and thighs are above average in size, but that's about it her name is varesa if you want to look up more
File: Screen Shot 2025-02-15 at(...).png (3.32 MB, 2301x1178) everyone on twitter is shidding on hoyoverse for this ANON WAZ HERE 02/15/25(Sat) 10:18:55 No.703091893 >hoyoverse is known for their playable characters being very skinny >they decide to add a "plus size" character >shes half cow (although she could be a bull. I'm not sure) >her attacks consist of her slamming her body on the ground >she LOVES food: she is a competitive eater who once ate 80 grainfruit pizzas at once >most wouldn't consider her plus sized, she literally has a flat stomach and hourglass waist. her boobs and thighs are above average in size, but that's about it her name is varesa if you want to look up more

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Remember when | /r/Greentext

1671915351538136.gif 3.95 MB GIF >>414327630 (OP) # Remember when monkeypox was a thing and then it turned out it was mostly present in gay people leading people to realize it was pretty much a sexually transmitted disease getting spread at gay o----- which are way more common than people ever knew and then dogs and children in close proximity to gay people started to get monkey pox somehow, nobody knows how they got it, and then monkeypox suddenly left the news as quickly as it arrived? Crazy, huh?
1671915351538136.gif 3.95 MB GIF >>414327630 (OP) # Remember when monkeypox was a thing and then it turned out it was mostly present in gay people leading people to realize it was pretty much a sexually transmitted disease getting spread at gay o----- which are way more common than people ever knew and then dogs and children in close proximity to gay people started to get monkey pox somehow, nobody knows how they got it, and then monkeypox suddenly left the news as quickly as it arrived? Crazy, huh?

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