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anon revolutionizes comfort | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)00:03:43 No.861472741 Has anyone used an under bed storage bin for their mattress-poop- hole setup? I feel like this could be a game changer. >poop through mattress poop hole >it falls into bin (pic related) 634 KB JPG >remove bin every week and rinse with hose Did I just discover a game changer? Are there reasons not to do this?
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)00:03:43 No.861472741 Has anyone used an under bed storage bin for their mattress-poop- hole setup? I feel like this could be a game changer. >poop through mattress poop hole >it falls into bin (pic related) 634 KB JPG >remove bin every week and rinse with hose Did I just discover a game changer? Are there reasons not to do this?

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Anon takes Xanax | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)22:43:22 No.64663879 >took Xanax >became a chad >ended up talking to a girl who isnt fat or ugly >l just come out and tell her im a neet who makes money off crypto and does nothing all day >she sends me naked videos and 22 KB JPG pictures and asks me to come f--- I am living the rest of my life on Xanax or ill die trying
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)22:43:22 No.64663879 >took Xanax >became a chad >ended up talking to a girl who isnt fat or ugly >l just come out and tell her im a neet who makes money off crypto and does nothing all day >she sends me naked videos and 22 KB JPG pictures and asks me to come f--- I am living the rest of my life on Xanax or ill die trying

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Anon is an alpha male | /r/Greentext

File: 1474885625692.jpg (39 KB, 509x619) times where you have almost made it Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)11:23:00 No.40643882 [Reply] >>40644281 >>40644891 >>40643911 >>40643931 >>40643932 >>40643942 >>40643946 >>40644094 >>40644105 >>40644114 >>40644126 >>40644145 I am considering to renovate my apartment just to distract me from being myself /fit/ >visiting female friend I have known for many years >do friend stuff, nothing fancy >plan was that I stay the night if it gets too late >oh boy I have prepared myself so long for this >clean shaven, got my best cologne out and even bought a nice new tracksuit to hang around at her place ( we are long past gone the point where we pretend to not be hobo-tier while being at home ) >at night >we go to sleep and browse s--- on our phones >could clearly see her miring when I got out of the shower before bed >I have lifted so long for this very moment >decide to be bold it's now or never >"hey wanna have sex?" >ALPHA AS F--- this is my new me >she puts phone down and smirks "uhm haha what? I mean yea sure why not" >stare at her for 5 seconds >bros you can't imagine how long 5 seconds can be >autism spike >look at her and say "yea well I didn't expect that answer" >silence >she looks at me for a few seconds clearly expecting me to make a move >she eventually rolls over with her back to me and gets back on her phone >don't talk or even mention it next morning Hold me, /fit/. Please hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright
File: 1474885625692.jpg (39 KB, 509x619) times where you have almost made it Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)11:23:00 No.40643882 [Reply] >>40644281 >>40644891 >>40643911 >>40643931 >>40643932 >>40643942 >>40643946 >>40644094 >>40644105 >>40644114 >>40644126 >>40644145 I am considering to renovate my apartment just to distract me from being myself /fit/ >visiting female friend I have known for many years >do friend stuff, nothing fancy >plan was that I stay the night if it gets too late >oh boy I have prepared myself so long for this >clean shaven, got my best cologne out and even bought a nice new tracksuit to hang around at her place ( we are long past gone the point where we pretend to not be hobo-tier while being at home ) >at night >we go to sleep and browse s--- on our phones >could clearly see her miring when I got out of the shower before bed >I have lifted so long for this very moment >decide to be bold it's now or never >"hey wanna have sex?" >ALPHA AS F--- this is my new me >she puts phone down and smirks "uhm haha what? I mean yea sure why not" >stare at her for 5 seconds >bros you can't imagine how long 5 seconds can be >autism spike >look at her and say "yea well I didn't expect that answer" >silence >she looks at me for a few seconds clearly expecting me to make a move >she eventually rolls over with her back to me and gets back on her phone >don't talk or even mention it next morning Hold me, /fit/. Please hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright

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Anon is murican | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/09/18(Sun)21:47:43 No.779489246 >be me >be white >walking down a weird neighborhood >literally the only white person on the street >get nervous >nothing but n------ in a 10-mile radius >s---.jpg >ape approaches me >literally s------- my pants >ape tries to communicate with me >get so scaredI run down the street crying >look back for a brief second >n---- had girl scout cookies in his hands >mfw he was just trying to sell me cookies >mfw I realize I have a niggerphobia
Anonymous 09/09/18(Sun)21:47:43 No.779489246 >be me >be white >walking down a weird neighborhood >literally the only white person on the street >get nervous >nothing but n------ in a 10-mile radius >s---.jpg >ape approaches me >literally s------- my pants >ape tries to communicate with me >get so scaredI run down the street crying >look back for a brief second >n---- had girl scout cookies in his hands >mfw he was just trying to sell me cookies >mfw I realize I have a niggerphobia

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anon is married | /r/Greentext

>be married for 10 years, have 3 kids >always refer to wifey by nicknames >honey, sexy, sweetie, etc. >fast forward new years 2020 >me and wifey get invited to a big party >get her parents to take care of the kids >show up to party, this is the first time we have had a proper "date" in 10 years 60 9 KB JPG >about to introduce myself and wifey to some couple >"hi l'm anon and this is my wife uhhh" >realize I've forgotten her name, panic and freeze >turn to wifey, "honey, why don't you introduce yourself?" >think to myself this is it, I'm f----- >I luck out, she thinks nothing of it and introduces herself >"hi I'm Mildred" >f------ Mildred.
>be married for 10 years, have 3 kids >always refer to wifey by nicknames >honey, sexy, sweetie, etc. >fast forward new years 2020 >me and wifey get invited to a big party >get her parents to take care of the kids >show up to party, this is the first time we have had a proper "date" in 10 years 60 9 KB JPG >about to introduce myself and wifey to some couple >"hi l'm anon and this is my wife uhhh" >realize I've forgotten her name, panic and freeze >turn to wifey, "honey, why don't you introduce yourself?" >think to myself this is it, I'm f----- >I luck out, she thinks nothing of it and introduces herself >"hi I'm Mildred" >f------ Mildred.

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Anon had a tough upbringing | /r/Greentext


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Message in a cum bottle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)03:24:13 No.65704771 >be me >finally turned 30 two weeks ago and still kissless, hugless, handholdess virgin >decide to put a stop to this >gather the guts to finally confess to my old high school crush >we haven't spoken since then but I hope she 55 KB PNG remembers me >send her my confession through insta since she never accepted my fb friend request >its been two f------ weeks and she hasnt even seen it Anons how the f--- can i make sure instagram isnt acting gay and filtering my messages?
: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)03:24:13 No.65704771 >be me >finally turned 30 two weeks ago and still kissless, hugless, handholdess virgin >decide to put a stop to this >gather the guts to finally confess to my old high school crush >we haven't spoken since then but I hope she 55 KB PNG remembers me >send her my confession through insta since she never accepted my fb friend request >its been two f------ weeks and she hasnt even seen it Anons how the f--- can i make sure instagram isnt acting gay and filtering my messages?

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Anon has a bad day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Had a bad day today 07/21/21(Wed)17:59:35 No.64662148 >wake up at 3PM (earliest in years) >mommy is at her job at a construction site >look at my Toy Story nightstand expecting there to be a hot plate of tendies >there isnt 45 KB JPG >THAT >F------ >W---- >use my tard adrenaline to roll out of bed >roll to the cabinet and grab grammys ashes >dump them into one of my full semen jugs >chug all of it >send the video of me doing it to bitch mommy >thatll teach that bitch >turn on news 2 hours later after blowing grammys dusty shitflakes out of my ass >something about a woman committing suicide by jumping off a construction crane where mommy works >women will do anything to get attention. Mommy should be home any minute to apologize for forgetting my morning tendies.
: Anonymous Had a bad day today 07/21/21(Wed)17:59:35 No.64662148 >wake up at 3PM (earliest in years) >mommy is at her job at a construction site >look at my Toy Story nightstand expecting there to be a hot plate of tendies >there isnt 45 KB JPG >THAT >F------ >W---- >use my tard adrenaline to roll out of bed >roll to the cabinet and grab grammys ashes >dump them into one of my full semen jugs >chug all of it >send the video of me doing it to bitch mommy >thatll teach that bitch >turn on news 2 hours later after blowing grammys dusty shitflakes out of my ass >something about a woman committing suicide by jumping off a construction crane where mommy works >women will do anything to get attention. Mommy should be home any minute to apologize for forgetting my morning tendies.

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

>trump gets impeached >trump resigns >pence becomes president >pence pardons trump >pence appoints new vice-president, donald trump >pence resigns >trump becomes president >trump appoints new vice-president, mike pence pence
>trump gets impeached >trump resigns >pence becomes president >pence pardons trump >pence appoints new vice-president, donald trump >pence resigns >trump becomes president >trump appoints new vice-president, mike pence pence

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Slip 'N Slide | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)01:36:52 No.864736552 >be me >married >don't get as much sex as l'd like >only private area to masturbate is in the bathroom 9 KB JPG >prefer to c-- into the tub so I can just spray all over >usually just leave it in the tub because I know I'll shower the next morning anyway >one night, wife decides to shower about 10 minutes after I unloaded >hear slip followed by scrambling, then weird mumbling >go in to check on wife >she slipped and literally cracked her head open >I can see part of her brain, not even joking >she's making noises but not saying any real words >call a amberlamps and get her to the hospital Later >wife is back home but paralyzed on one side of her body >is relearning to talk and has all kinds of anger problems >s---- her pants and has seizures now >mfw my wife slipped on my tub c--
: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)01:36:52 No.864736552 >be me >married >don't get as much sex as l'd like >only private area to masturbate is in the bathroom 9 KB JPG >prefer to c-- into the tub so I can just spray all over >usually just leave it in the tub because I know I'll shower the next morning anyway >one night, wife decides to shower about 10 minutes after I unloaded >hear slip followed by scrambling, then weird mumbling >go in to check on wife >she slipped and literally cracked her head open >I can see part of her brain, not even joking >she's making noises but not saying any real words >call a amberlamps and get her to the hospital Later >wife is back home but paralyzed on one side of her body >is relearning to talk and has all kinds of anger problems >s---- her pants and has seizures now >mfw my wife slipped on my tub c--

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Anon is not having a good time | /r/Greentext


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Anon hates dolphins | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)09:43:30 No.3945508 Dolphans.jpg 95 KB JPG Dolphins are the worst animals >Constant r--- >Assholes >Degenerates of the sea world >Abuse sharks >Save people to spite sharks, not because they have any kindness in their hearts Meanwhile shark >Unless it's a swimming dumpster like tiger sharks, great white shark for example hate the taste of human >Can pet Lemon sharks, and they like it. At least with a shark it kills because it's hungry and wants to live, I can respect that, dolphins kill because it gives them pleasure and sexually half the time. >>3945518 # >>3945557 #
: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)09:43:30 No.3945508 Dolphans.jpg 95 KB JPG Dolphins are the worst animals >Constant r--- >Assholes >Degenerates of the sea world >Abuse sharks >Save people to spite sharks, not because they have any kindness in their hearts Meanwhile shark >Unless it's a swimming dumpster like tiger sharks, great white shark for example hate the taste of human >Can pet Lemon sharks, and they like it. At least with a shark it kills because it's hungry and wants to live, I can respect that, dolphins kill because it gives them pleasure and sexually half the time. >>3945518 # >>3945557 #

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Average Instagram stacy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous W-- is this crap 03/03/21(Wed)18:05:17 No.62589250 W-- just happened. >be me >indian male in uni IG > walk past a group of 3 hot blonde ON girls >i hear one of them say "ew curry you 9 KB JPG stink" > all three of them start laughing >recognize one of them in my lit class >find her ig it says "BLM! / LGBQT+ activist / etc" Why are women like this. 23 Replies / 4 Images View Thread
: Anonymous W-- is this crap 03/03/21(Wed)18:05:17 No.62589250 W-- just happened. >be me >indian male in uni IG > walk past a group of 3 hot blonde ON girls >i hear one of them say "ew curry you 9 KB JPG stink" > all three of them start laughing >recognize one of them in my lit class >find her ig it says "BLM! / LGBQT+ activist / etc" Why are women like this. 23 Replies / 4 Images View Thread

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Anon gets baited | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)07:12:10 No.864747619 >horny as f--- >decide to jerk it cause why not >find girl with perfect ass, lying on her stomach not showing face >she gets hard f----- in the ass >ohyeah.jpg >j--- the hardest ive ever came 314 KB JPG >camera tilts over to reveal its a dude oh its f------ OVER
: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)07:12:10 No.864747619 >horny as f--- >decide to jerk it cause why not >find girl with perfect ass, lying on her stomach not showing face >she gets hard f----- in the ass >ohyeah.jpg >j--- the hardest ive ever came 314 KB JPG >camera tilts over to reveal its a dude oh its f------ OVER

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Anon masturbates loudly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/25/18(Sun)20:47:15 No.49497117 Most mortifying life experience stories. dios mio >Be me >14 >Sleeping >Hear loud thud 24 KB JPG >shitmypants.png >scuffling nosies on one of my walls >dont move a muscle >get idea >no demon would be haunting while someone is jerking off >whip out my d--- >start masturbaiting loudly >stare at the wall while moaning that I want whoevers there to f--- me >mfw the lights turn on >mfw it was my mom getting my laundry >mfw Im probably getting put up for adoption
: Anonymous 11/25/18(Sun)20:47:15 No.49497117 Most mortifying life experience stories. dios mio >Be me >14 >Sleeping >Hear loud thud 24 KB JPG >shitmypants.png >scuffling nosies on one of my walls >dont move a muscle >get idea >no demon would be haunting while someone is jerking off >whip out my d--- >start masturbaiting loudly >stare at the wall while moaning that I want whoevers there to f--- me >mfw the lights turn on >mfw it was my mom getting my laundry >mfw Im probably getting put up for adoption

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Command and cumtrol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)17:35:52 No.65698904 >Be me >See hot woman with desirable sexual characteristics >Get incredibly horny at the thought of impregnating a fertile 132 KB JPG woman >While fapping to pictures of cosplayers (or other physically fit people) mutter phases like "GET PREGNANT" while admiring their beautiful bodies that are ready to be filled hentai- style with sperm until their wombs have been fertilized How the f--- did I end up like this
: Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)17:35:52 No.65698904 >Be me >See hot woman with desirable sexual characteristics >Get incredibly horny at the thought of impregnating a fertile 132 KB JPG woman >While fapping to pictures of cosplayers (or other physically fit people) mutter phases like "GET PREGNANT" while admiring their beautiful bodies that are ready to be filled hentai- style with sperm until their wombs have been fertilized How the f--- did I end up like this

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Anon lost the genetic lottery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)08:30:28 No.63499062 >be me, 19 >visit binland with mom and dad >dad invites me to go to sauna together >dicklet, so a bit hesitant at first >it's probably genetics anyway hahaha, he's probably as small as 28 KB JPG me >walk in >stop dead upon seeing his huge f------ d--- >tfw it's already bigger than mine HARD, both in length and girth >Dad stares back, a stunned expression of disappointment on his face >he opens his mouth to say something but changes his mind >spend the next 5 minutes in complete silence
Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)08:30:28 No.63499062 >be me, 19 >visit binland with mom and dad >dad invites me to go to sauna together >dicklet, so a bit hesitant at first >it's probably genetics anyway hahaha, he's probably as small as 28 KB JPG me >walk in >stop dead upon seeing his huge f------ d--- >tfw it's already bigger than mine HARD, both in length and girth >Dad stares back, a stunned expression of disappointment on his face >he opens his mouth to say something but changes his mind >spend the next 5 minutes in complete silence

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anon has quality family time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/26/17(Thu)09:05:16 No.40672881 Totally OP, I did the same. >Asked mom that I wanted to f--- a girl >She said, you can f--- me, but only in the ass. >Start f------ mom. >Decide to rub her clit >Find a d--- >Turns out it was a prank by my dad. I won't fall for the same trick 3 times
: Anonymous 10/26/17(Thu)09:05:16 No.40672881 Totally OP, I did the same. >Asked mom that I wanted to f--- a girl >She said, you can f--- me, but only in the ass. >Start f------ mom. >Decide to rub her clit >Find a d--- >Turns out it was a prank by my dad. I won't fall for the same trick 3 times

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Anon gets outsmarted | /r/Greentext

File: pepe normal.jpg (58 KB. 976x850) O Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)18:30:11 No.9936861 >be me >getting bullied at school >bully calls me gay >say "what, are you interested?" >"yes" >passionately kisses me on the lips >gives me his number and winks well now what
File: pepe normal.jpg (58 KB. 976x850) O Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)18:30:11 No.9936861 >be me >getting bullied at school >bully calls me gay >say "what, are you interested?" >"yes" >passionately kisses me on the lips >gives me his number and winks well now what

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Anon gets college pilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)12:14:46 No.65705834 >autist >high school days are great because | know everyone from when i was a kid >enter college >literally never make a friend again >its been 11 years sadge 8 KB PNG View Thread
: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)12:14:46 No.65705834 >autist >high school days are great because | know everyone from when i was a kid >enter college >literally never make a friend again >its been 11 years sadge 8 KB PNG View Thread

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