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: Anonymous 11/25/18(Sun)20:47:15 No.49497117 Most mortifying life experience stories. dios mio >Be me >14 >Sleeping >Hear loud thud 24 KB JPG >shitmypants.png >scuffling nosies on one of my walls >dont move a muscle >get idea >no demon would be haunting while someone is jerking off >whip out my d--- >start masturbaiting loudly >stare at the wall while moaning that I want whoevers there to f--- me >mfw the lights turn on >mfw it was my mom getting my laundry >mfw Im probably getting put up for adoption

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Command and cumtrol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)17:35:52 No.65698904 >Be me >See hot woman with desirable sexual characteristics >Get incredibly horny at the thought of impregnating a fertile 132 KB JPG woman >While fapping to pictures of cosplayers (or other physically fit people) mutter phases like "GET PREGNANT" while admiring their beautiful bodies that are ready to be filled hentai- style with sperm until their wombs have been fertilized How the f--- did I end up like this

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Anon lost the genetic lottery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/03/21(Mon)08:30:28 No.63499062 >be me, 19 >visit binland with mom and dad >dad invites me to go to sauna together >dicklet, so a bit hesitant at first >it's probably genetics anyway hahaha, he's probably as small as 28 KB JPG me >walk in >stop dead upon seeing his huge f------ d--- >tfw it's already bigger than mine HARD, both in length and girth >Dad stares back, a stunned expression of disappointment on his face >he opens his mouth to say something but changes his mind >spend the next 5 minutes in complete silence

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anon has quality family time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/26/17(Thu)09:05:16 No.40672881 Totally OP, I did the same. >Asked mom that I wanted to f--- a girl >She said, you can f--- me, but only in the ass. >Start f------ mom. >Decide to rub her clit >Find a d--- >Turns out it was a prank by my dad. I won't fall for the same trick 3 times

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Anon gets outsmarted | /r/Greentext

File: pepe normal.jpg (58 KB. 976x850) O Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)18:30:11 No.9936861 >be me >getting bullied at school >bully calls me gay >say "what, are you interested?" >"yes" >passionately kisses me on the lips >gives me his number and winks well now what

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Anon gets college pilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)12:14:46 No.65705834 >autist >high school days are great because | know everyone from when i was a kid >enter college >literally never make a friend again >its been 11 years sadge 8 KB PNG View Thread

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Anon is dating a cop | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)21:40:01 No.515425318 > been chatting with cute 14 year old girl > really flirty and sexy 61 KB JPG > now she tells me she's an undercover cop > how f------ cool is that for someone her age

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Online screening | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)05:46:19 No.864738646 >be me >meet cutie soft dom goth girl on dating app >hit it off pretty well >get to know each other online >we are really into one another so we plan on going on a date 12 KB JPG sometime >one night she asks to chat a bit before she goes to bed >I didn't voice chat with her that day, so why not! >get in call ready to chill with her for a bit >find out she is horny and wanted hear me while she did her thing >kindahot.mkv >get into with her, moaning along and such >end up getting horny as well so I start jacking off too >full on sex erp >we both get real close and I hear >"c-- for me anon, you cute baby boy" >bust a nut so hard I almost when f------ blind >get called cute and tells me how she really liked that >"Hey anon, wanna see something..." >ohfuck.webm >Think she is going to send a nude or something >She screen shares a whole ass power point presentation titled: "Hello future potential boyfriend" that she made earlier that day >mfw We are all going to make it bros!

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I can hear his voice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/10/21(Sun)08:36:18 No.864732037 >be me >see the mushroom cloud approaching as the american missle strikes my hometown >accept my fate >hug my family and friends saying that I love them 96 KB JPG >as the mushroom cloud approaches allI hear is >"IM MISSLE RIIIIIICK" >pic related

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Anon is ungrateful | /r/Greentext

/b/ Anonymous 04/10/21(Sat)02:19:59 No.851715744 Greentext time >be me >be 12 years old >watch Nightmare on Elm Street >freddy is kinda cool 1.71 MB JPG >want to be like him >ask grandma to knit me a Freddy sweater >she fulfills my wish >knits for a week >finally finishes sweater and it's awesome. Red/Green just like the original >wear it in school the next day >everybody laughs >ashamed.jpg >tell Grandma I don't want sweater anymore >grandma disappointed >now she wears it. Also in public >tells me people are always smiling at her when she's wearing it

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Forget cumjars, pouring cum back into your dickhole is where it's at. | /r/Greentext

File: coomer.jpg (1.16 MB, 640x480) O the c-- recycler Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)17:22:00 No.63857709 [Reply] >have this issue of cooming very little >get brilliant idea >decide to recycle c-- >i do this by cooming, collecting my c-- into my hand, and then siphoning it back into my d------- >cooming also becomes much easier thanks to c-- making my d------- near frictionless >one small problem >each time i go to pee, i have to nut first, store my coom somewhere, pee, and then siphon my c-- back into my d------- 58 replies and 7 images omitted. Click here to view.

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Anon loves a troll | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:27:47 No.64033474 >in bed with gf >she wants my attention >decides upon the best course of action >rams her fingers up my butthole >jesusfuckwoman >turn to her and ask w-- shes doing >"just a little bit of trolling" 111 KB JPG >mfw And i thought i was autistic.

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Anon survives a blue whale attack | /r/Greentext

>be me in school >alright class, pick a partner for the group project >F---, NO THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING >everyone instantly picks their friends 13 KB JPG >I have nobody >Anon how about you pair up with Goblina over there? >f------ disgusting obese smelly creature >"n-n-o its ok,I like working alone" >goblina seats herself next to me >says with a smelly breath "you tell me what to write and l'll write" >f------ bitch, not only ugly but dumb too >do the f------ whole thing on my own basically, but have to survive her and her atrocious handwriting >a girl in our class says we'd make a good couple >goblina smiles, the other students laugh >someone please just f------ shoot me

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Greentext Stories - Anon masturbates loudly | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 11/25/18(Sun)20:47:15 No.49497117 Most mortifying life experience stories. dios mio >Be me >14 >Sleeping >Hear loud thud 24 KB JPG >shitmypants.png >scuffling nosies on one of my walls >dont move a muscle >get idea >no demon would be haunting while someone is jerking off >whip out my d--- >start masturbaiting loudly >stare at the wall while moaning that I want whoevers there to f--- me >mfw the lights turn on >mfw it was my mom getting my laundry >mfw Im probably getting put up for adoption

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