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Freudian slip it in | /r/Greentext

File: a09.png (387 KB, 680x708) Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)14:25:15 No.62733814 [Reply] >be me >In uni >Have to take Spanish class to fullfil some requirement >Part of our grade is a spoken portion that consists of us all sitting down and the teacher asking us questions and us answering them infront of the class >Already kinda f----- up on it before and my grade is pretty s--- in the class, need to do better this time around >Professor asks me several questions, and eventually asks me to describe my girlfriend or make up stuff if I don't have one (i obviously don't) >Blank a little >"mi novio es de Argentina, mi novio tiene 20 anos, a mi novio le gusta escuchar musica." >Professor responds "That's good anon but I think you meant "mi novia" >Realized that I forgot to properly gender the words >Realize I still need a good grade in this class >Respond "no, i meant to say that" >Get an A in that sleeping portion >Obviously gay kid asks to hang out after class F------ spanish made me gay.
File: a09.png (387 KB, 680x708) Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)14:25:15 No.62733814 [Reply] >be me >In uni >Have to take Spanish class to fullfil some requirement >Part of our grade is a spoken portion that consists of us all sitting down and the teacher asking us questions and us answering them infront of the class >Already kinda f----- up on it before and my grade is pretty s--- in the class, need to do better this time around >Professor asks me several questions, and eventually asks me to describe my girlfriend or make up stuff if I don't have one (i obviously don't) >Blank a little >"mi novio es de Argentina, mi novio tiene 20 anos, a mi novio le gusta escuchar musica." >Professor responds "That's good anon but I think you meant "mi novia" >Realized that I forgot to properly gender the words >Realize I still need a good grade in this class >Respond "no, i meant to say that" >Get an A in that sleeping portion >Obviously gay kid asks to hang out after class F------ spanish made me gay.

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Anon has a reasonable question | /r/Greentext

12 Re · 4 Img · JPG · 77KB · (461 × 682) 6 Replies >some caveman coomer with a thicc fetish made this so he could coom in his cave since most women in his tribe were thin and skinny >modern liberals interpret it as some female godess worship or that it proves matriarchal society existed or some other gay explanation Why is prehistory taken seriously again?
12 Re · 4 Img · JPG · 77KB · (461 × 682) 6 Replies >some caveman coomer with a thicc fetish made this so he could coom in his cave since most women in his tribe were thin and skinny >modern liberals interpret it as some female godess worship or that it proves matriarchal society existed or some other gay explanation Why is prehistory taken seriously again?

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Anon goes to fast food restaurant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)19:35:16 No.849508884 >be me >goes to fast food restaurant >orders mcdonalds >cashier says "sir this is wendys" >I look up >checks menu >is actually at wendys >mfw 62 KB JPG >l order wendys anway
: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)19:35:16 No.849508884 >be me >goes to fast food restaurant >orders mcdonalds >cashier says "sir this is wendys" >I look up >checks menu >is actually at wendys >mfw 62 KB JPG >l order wendys anway

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Baby Driver | /r/Greentext

File: car accdent.jpg (44 KB, 474x355) Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)19:01:32 No.62722686 [Reply] >>62729170 >>62729234 >>62729421 >be me >been in multiple car accidents because of other people's reckless driving >incredibly careful driver as a result >l never go a single mile over the speed limit, always use signals, never speed up to make a yellow light, etc >if you don't like it I don't give a single f--- >driving home from work one night >slow down to a stop at a yellow light (which is the law in my state) and wait to make a left turn >guy behind me immediately starts blaring his horns >throughout the entire red light, he continues to lay on his horns >when the light turns green, there's still too many cars driving by, so I continue to wait while f----- behind me continues to blare his horn >light turns red again and I haven't yet made a turn >f----- behind me can't handle this >he swerves out from behind me to try to get by and immediately gets t-boned by a f------ mac truck >his car rolls over and slams into a telephone pole >l pull into the nearest parking lot and call the police >walk over to inspect the scene >he's woozy, but somehow conscious. pregnant woman in the passenger seat is covered in blood and definitely dead >when he realizes this, he bursts into tears >the mac truck driver is pacing back and forth chainsmoking cigarettes >as the cops and paramedics get there, I talk to them about what happened >when the driver hears me say that I was the one that was in front of him, he flies into a tearful rage, saying it was my fault, that I was the one that caused this, etc >bite my tongue for as long as I can while the cops try to calm him down, but can't take it anymore >"F--- you, dude, this is your fault! You killed your own f------ wife! Not me!" I shout >He lunges at me, but the cops hold him back and he bursts into tears again >One of the cops tells me that was an a------ thing to say >ldc That's it. That's my story. F--- this c--- and everyone like him. If you drive like a maniac, this is what happens. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I have zero remorse.
File: car accdent.jpg (44 KB, 474x355) Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)19:01:32 No.62722686 [Reply] >>62729170 >>62729234 >>62729421 >be me >been in multiple car accidents because of other people's reckless driving >incredibly careful driver as a result >l never go a single mile over the speed limit, always use signals, never speed up to make a yellow light, etc >if you don't like it I don't give a single f--- >driving home from work one night >slow down to a stop at a yellow light (which is the law in my state) and wait to make a left turn >guy behind me immediately starts blaring his horns >throughout the entire red light, he continues to lay on his horns >when the light turns green, there's still too many cars driving by, so I continue to wait while f----- behind me continues to blare his horn >light turns red again and I haven't yet made a turn >f----- behind me can't handle this >he swerves out from behind me to try to get by and immediately gets t-boned by a f------ mac truck >his car rolls over and slams into a telephone pole >l pull into the nearest parking lot and call the police >walk over to inspect the scene >he's woozy, but somehow conscious. pregnant woman in the passenger seat is covered in blood and definitely dead >when he realizes this, he bursts into tears >the mac truck driver is pacing back and forth chainsmoking cigarettes >as the cops and paramedics get there, I talk to them about what happened >when the driver hears me say that I was the one that was in front of him, he flies into a tearful rage, saying it was my fault, that I was the one that caused this, etc >bite my tongue for as long as I can while the cops try to calm him down, but can't take it anymore >"F--- you, dude, this is your fault! You killed your own f------ wife! Not me!" I shout >He lunges at me, but the cops hold him back and he bursts into tears again >One of the cops tells me that was an a------ thing to say >ldc That's it. That's my story. F--- this c--- and everyone like him. If you drive like a maniac, this is what happens. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I have zero remorse.

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Anons Mom in the Hospital | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 >l take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every 195 KB PNG night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because l'll be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >I think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"
: Anonymous 12/29/19(Sun)21:47:04 No.817301715 >Mother got extremely sick on Christmas >She gets hospitalized >Doctor tell us she will be here until January 2 >l take care of my mother and I have to stay on the hospital every 195 KB PNG night taking care of her >Tell my girlfriend I have to cancel our plans for new year's party at a friend house because l'll be staying with my mom >She tells me she is still going without me >I think to myself "well I don't want her to have a s----- New Year so it's ok" >Later today best bro calls me >"hey buddy, I heard that you are staying at the hospital for new year, I canceled my plans and will bring you food to the hospital so we can celebrate"

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Ein schissepost | /r/Greentext

File. German toilet.png (113 KB. 602x402) O Anonymous 05/28/18(Mon)00:55:56 No.90187331 20182444 200107483 20018757a 229018863N Be German >Take a s--- >Inapect it >Smell it >Touch it >Taste it >Invite family in for a look >"Ah, Hanst Das ist ein wunderbar schisst
File. German toilet.png (113 KB. 602x402) O Anonymous 05/28/18(Mon)00:55:56 No.90187331 20182444 200107483 20018757a 229018863N Be German >Take a s--- >Inapect it >Smell it >Touch it >Taste it >Invite family in for a look >"Ah, Hanst Das ist ein wunderbar schisst

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File: terrorism.png (713 KB, 1200x960) O Terrorist Games Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)03:26:37 No.78046979 >>78048525 >>78049753 >>78049967 >>78052889 Have you ever run any terrorist games, or games where the players end up as terrorists of whatever stripe? How did (or didn't) it work out, how did you get to that point, and what was the general idea (if any)? >> O Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)03:27:46 No.78046988 >>78047111 >>78047169 I did. It was actually very funny, because they not only specifically denied being terrorists to evade some heat, but the actual terrorism was both unplanned and completely unproductive. >Scifi/cyberpunk game, party landing on corporate controlled Mars to turn over a rescued hostage to a client's handler >One of the PCs is pretty famous as a poster boy for one of Mars' big enemies, gets his cover blown and has to sweet talk his way out of getting black bagged. Promises "We're not terrorists, we're just here for normal business" >Drop the mark off, but then start noticing weird b------- happening. >Memetic viruses are a thing, so they realize they might have just handed over a compromised target with no warning >Comm encryption to the client is expired, no method to actually warn them discretely. >So they just roll up to corporate headquarters and ask to speak to a manager >Obviously get told to f--- off, aggressively, but one player says he has a plan. >Party sneaks back in, hops on the lift up to the executive suites. >Realize they're still armed to the teeth, and the suits on the elevator have been pounding the emergency call button as nonchalantly as they could manage >Elevator shoots past all the selected floors and comms chatter says security is mobilizing >Everyone asks the mastermind player what his plan was. >"honestly I didn't think we'd make it this far" >Doors open up, security waiting in cleared out cubicle farm >They open fire. >Cue office shootout >Party radios for the two PCs who weren't on the away team. >One's busy "filling out paperwork" because he's too autistic to understand that he can't just take his military grade nuclear hardsuit into an urban center >The other guy is available, and hops on his gravbike (with cluster bomb launcher) to play cavalry >He provides "cover fire" while the rest of the group make it to (what used to be) the windows and jump on his bike >Cue chase to the spaceport >> O Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)03:30:05 No.78047005 File: 654Y1UM,jpg (426 KB, 2000x1500) >>78047066 >>78047111 >>78049735 I mean, yeah, actually. Kinda. SHADOWRUN It didn't start that way. We didn't mean to be terrorists. Well, one of us were a terrorist expat from the beginning, but we didn't *set out* to become terrorists. It just sorta happened. I'm currently in a Shadowrun game that seems to have turned from "Running the shadows" to "You know what? Just terrorism". I'm not sure how it got started. I think the first act of abject terrorism was when our decker fooled GOD (Grid Overwatch Division, of the Corporate Court Matrix Authority, the people responsible for hunting Al's and generally blasting large deckers/hackers) into dropping something amounting to a MOAB on a police precinct. Or maybe it was during the same run prior, when we tricked Lone Star rent-a-cops into shooting eachother after spoofing a nuclear meltdown at a nearby nuclear power plant. We've become known for runs that end up leaving few to no survivors, or just end up in massive cluster-f---- that we somehow manage to get out of by the skin of our teeth and massive body counts, despite us often trying to avoid them. One run saw us beat the s--- out of some kind of performer on stage on live television and then we managed to get out of it in the ensuing panic. It all recently culminated in us being tricked into taking a job for Nutrivat, an Aztechnology subsidiary in San Juan. Turns out the entire job was just an attempt to ambush us with VTOLS and paramilitary squads. We ended up pulling out, but I juiced up on 4 different drugs and killed the man responsible, filling an underground car park with imaginary demons and overdosing him on Long Haul, which is basically a super-caffeine to keep people awake, until he f------ died. Then after I spent 3 days crashing in a dumpster sipping garbage-juice, my crew shows up with 36 kilograms of high explosives, we f----- the entire grid in San Juan (flooding, the street lights, etc.,), killed 5 executives by dropping them from on high, and then blew up their entire highrise. >> O Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)03:39:20 No.78047066 File: PYvtPUF.png (2.97 MB, 1475x1475) >>78047111 >>78047144 SHADTMGU >>78047005 >One run saw us beat the s--- out of some kind of performer on stage on live television and then we managed to get out of it in the ensuing panic. Just to be clear, by the way, this wasn't lolrandom. The run actually involved just beating the s--- out of him on live TV. That was part of the mission-parameters. The tear gas and the ensuing panic and the people killed in the stampede wasn't. During that San Juan run, I actually had a small write-up of some of our deeds as part of an impromptu 'speech" my character delivered to the guy that tricked us into coming to San Juan: >We're the Miami Six. We've leveled two rent-a-cop precincts, an administrative city block, threatened a city with nuclear meltdown, made Lone Star shoot their own, driven Knight Errant out of Miami, sunk four ships at sea, flooded the streets of Puerto Rico in s---, set fire no less than two conference centers and a public stadium, skydived from the Horizon High-rise, and beaten a cherished national celebrity on live television. >We've come to wreck everything, and ruin your life. >God sent us. Cue an o--- of blood and piss as my character immediately pushed out two maxed and edged Agony-like spells in a single round and makes everyone s--- their pants in fear, while also starting to vomit blood on himself for how much it taxes him. It was not a great day.
File: terrorism.png (713 KB, 1200x960) O Terrorist Games Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)03:26:37 No.78046979 >>78048525 >>78049753 >>78049967 >>78052889 Have you ever run any terrorist games, or games where the players end up as terrorists of whatever stripe? How did (or didn't) it work out, how did you get to that point, and what was the general idea (if any)? >> O Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)03:27:46 No.78046988 >>78047111 >>78047169 I did. It was actually very funny, because they not only specifically denied being terrorists to evade some heat, but the actual terrorism was both unplanned and completely unproductive. >Scifi/cyberpunk game, party landing on corporate controlled Mars to turn over a rescued hostage to a client's handler >One of the PCs is pretty famous as a poster boy for one of Mars' big enemies, gets his cover blown and has to sweet talk his way out of getting black bagged. Promises "We're not terrorists, we're just here for normal business" >Drop the mark off, but then start noticing weird b------- happening. >Memetic viruses are a thing, so they realize they might have just handed over a compromised target with no warning >Comm encryption to the client is expired, no method to actually warn them discretely. >So they just roll up to corporate headquarters and ask to speak to a manager >Obviously get told to f--- off, aggressively, but one player says he has a plan. >Party sneaks back in, hops on the lift up to the executive suites. >Realize they're still armed to the teeth, and the suits on the elevator have been pounding the emergency call button as nonchalantly as they could manage >Elevator shoots past all the selected floors and comms chatter says security is mobilizing >Everyone asks the mastermind player what his plan was. >"honestly I didn't think we'd make it this far" >Doors open up, security waiting in cleared out cubicle farm >They open fire. >Cue office shootout >Party radios for the two PCs who weren't on the away team. >One's busy "filling out paperwork" because he's too autistic to understand that he can't just take his military grade nuclear hardsuit into an urban center >The other guy is available, and hops on his gravbike (with cluster bomb launcher) to play cavalry >He provides "cover fire" while the rest of the group make it to (what used to be) the windows and jump on his bike >Cue chase to the spaceport >> O Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)03:30:05 No.78047005 File: 654Y1UM,jpg (426 KB, 2000x1500) >>78047066 >>78047111 >>78049735 I mean, yeah, actually. Kinda. SHADOWRUN It didn't start that way. We didn't mean to be terrorists. Well, one of us were a terrorist expat from the beginning, but we didn't *set out* to become terrorists. It just sorta happened. I'm currently in a Shadowrun game that seems to have turned from "Running the shadows" to "You know what? Just terrorism". I'm not sure how it got started. I think the first act of abject terrorism was when our decker fooled GOD (Grid Overwatch Division, of the Corporate Court Matrix Authority, the people responsible for hunting Al's and generally blasting large deckers/hackers) into dropping something amounting to a MOAB on a police precinct. Or maybe it was during the same run prior, when we tricked Lone Star rent-a-cops into shooting eachother after spoofing a nuclear meltdown at a nearby nuclear power plant. We've become known for runs that end up leaving few to no survivors, or just end up in massive cluster-f---- that we somehow manage to get out of by the skin of our teeth and massive body counts, despite us often trying to avoid them. One run saw us beat the s--- out of some kind of performer on stage on live television and then we managed to get out of it in the ensuing panic. It all recently culminated in us being tricked into taking a job for Nutrivat, an Aztechnology subsidiary in San Juan. Turns out the entire job was just an attempt to ambush us with VTOLS and paramilitary squads. We ended up pulling out, but I juiced up on 4 different drugs and killed the man responsible, filling an underground car park with imaginary demons and overdosing him on Long Haul, which is basically a super-caffeine to keep people awake, until he f------ died. Then after I spent 3 days crashing in a dumpster sipping garbage-juice, my crew shows up with 36 kilograms of high explosives, we f----- the entire grid in San Juan (flooding, the street lights, etc.,), killed 5 executives by dropping them from on high, and then blew up their entire highrise. >> O Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)03:39:20 No.78047066 File: PYvtPUF.png (2.97 MB, 1475x1475) >>78047111 >>78047144 SHADTMGU >>78047005 >One run saw us beat the s--- out of some kind of performer on stage on live television and then we managed to get out of it in the ensuing panic. Just to be clear, by the way, this wasn't lolrandom. The run actually involved just beating the s--- out of him on live TV. That was part of the mission-parameters. The tear gas and the ensuing panic and the people killed in the stampede wasn't. During that San Juan run, I actually had a small write-up of some of our deeds as part of an impromptu 'speech" my character delivered to the guy that tricked us into coming to San Juan: >We're the Miami Six. We've leveled two rent-a-cop precincts, an administrative city block, threatened a city with nuclear meltdown, made Lone Star shoot their own, driven Knight Errant out of Miami, sunk four ships at sea, flooded the streets of Puerto Rico in s---, set fire no less than two conference centers and a public stadium, skydived from the Horizon High-rise, and beaten a cherished national celebrity on live television. >We've come to wreck everything, and ruin your life. >God sent us. Cue an o--- of blood and piss as my character immediately pushed out two maxed and edged Agony-like spells in a single round and makes everyone s--- their pants in fear, while also starting to vomit blood on himself for how much it taxes him. It was not a great day.

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Just trust me bro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/10/21(Wed)22:42:00 No.62697561 >Bro trust me there are definitely not tiny people in your tv >it's like uhhh it's actually a complex signal that's transmitted through the air >and it like uuuhhh it makes the tv blink certain lights that create the moving picture of people moving around >there are no tiny people it's actually 50 KB PNG science
: Anonymous 03/10/21(Wed)22:42:00 No.62697561 >Bro trust me there are definitely not tiny people in your tv >it's like uhhh it's actually a complex signal that's transmitted through the air >and it like uuuhhh it makes the tv blink certain lights that create the moving picture of people moving around >there are no tiny people it's actually 50 KB PNG science

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Anon has a new friend | /r/Greentext

>be me >White boy >Have black friend >Actually he is my childhood friend >Always together >Never gave me the N pass >Don't care about it anymore 41 KB JPG >One day at school >Random dude approach us >Alpha and >Start talking with us >He seems nice >Don't Know why he talk to beta like us >ff 1 week he still on contact with us >sus af >i didn't like him >My black friend did >Asks us to hang with him >Didn't accept the offer >My black friend did >Autisme kicks in >Decided to fellow them from behind >See something wierd >Many other black dudes approach >They made a star in the middle of road >Put the alpha dude in the middle >Suddenly it's starting to rain >W-- is going on >All the black dudes singing the Halo theme >Something fell from the sky >I can clearly see it >It's the legendary golden N pass >The golden N pass lands on the alpha boy hands >hear Obama clapping >mfw
>be me >White boy >Have black friend >Actually he is my childhood friend >Always together >Never gave me the N pass >Don't care about it anymore 41 KB JPG >One day at school >Random dude approach us >Alpha and >Start talking with us >He seems nice >Don't Know why he talk to beta like us >ff 1 week he still on contact with us >sus af >i didn't like him >My black friend did >Asks us to hang with him >Didn't accept the offer >My black friend did >Autisme kicks in >Decided to fellow them from behind >See something wierd >Many other black dudes approach >They made a star in the middle of road >Put the alpha dude in the middle >Suddenly it's starting to rain >W-- is going on >All the black dudes singing the Halo theme >Something fell from the sky >I can clearly see it >It's the legendary golden N pass >The golden N pass lands on the alpha boy hands >hear Obama clapping >mfw

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Anon is nekkid Nazi | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/22/18(Mon)13:00:28 No.782969331 >Winter 2011 >Grandpa had passed 4 months ago >Left me his WW2 stuff in a rusty box >Sleeping soundly >Hear a crash downstairs >Someone had broken in my window >Have no firearms >F---.f-- >Check Papa Box >F------ Luger tucked next to an SS cap >Luger is loaded >Slap hat on and run downstairs stark nekkid >Spot the f----- going through my entertainment center >Aim and scream first German words that pop into my head "PANZERKAMPFWAGEN SCHADENFREUDE" >Fire.exe until out of rounds >He bolted for the window, literally screaming and crying something about Nazi's supposed to be extinct. >Definitely hit him a few times since there was blood on the carpet. >Call cops, guy gets arrested, asked about Nazi stuff, tell story, cops love it. >Nekkid Nazi becomes neighborhood story. 1497926949645.jpg 164 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/22/18(Mon)13:00:28 No.782969331 >Winter 2011 >Grandpa had passed 4 months ago >Left me his WW2 stuff in a rusty box >Sleeping soundly >Hear a crash downstairs >Someone had broken in my window >Have no firearms >F---.f-- >Check Papa Box >F------ Luger tucked next to an SS cap >Luger is loaded >Slap hat on and run downstairs stark nekkid >Spot the f----- going through my entertainment center >Aim and scream first German words that pop into my head "PANZERKAMPFWAGEN SCHADENFREUDE" >Fire.exe until out of rounds >He bolted for the window, literally screaming and crying something about Nazi's supposed to be extinct. >Definitely hit him a few times since there was blood on the carpet. >Call cops, guy gets arrested, asked about Nazi stuff, tell story, cops love it. >Nekkid Nazi becomes neighborhood story. 1497926949645.jpg 164 KB JPG

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Anon is no longer a degenerate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)10:29:49 No.62666716 >spend years calling nofap a AN ESTABLISNED AND COMPLETE ALSO AN ESTABLISHED AND COMPLETE MAN MAN meme >actually very depressed and subconsciously know I masturbate way too much. Even j------- in the bathroom at work 198 KB JPG sometimes >finally give in and try nofap >within 7 days depression is non-existent. Wake up every morning in a good mood >Vivid dreams, actually amazing dreams. Flew through space in one of them and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. >More social. People compliment me saying I look good lately and seem really happy. >Went to a house party for the first time in 4 years. Multiple girls approached me and flirted with me. At the end of the night was cuddling with two cute girls on the couch. >Started exercising. I never exercise, but now it feels good and increases my mood even further during the day. Why did you guys lie to me and say nofap was a meme? I finally feel good for the first time since I was a child.
: Anonymous 03/09/21(Tue)10:29:49 No.62666716 >spend years calling nofap a AN ESTABLISNED AND COMPLETE ALSO AN ESTABLISHED AND COMPLETE MAN MAN meme >actually very depressed and subconsciously know I masturbate way too much. Even j------- in the bathroom at work 198 KB JPG sometimes >finally give in and try nofap >within 7 days depression is non-existent. Wake up every morning in a good mood >Vivid dreams, actually amazing dreams. Flew through space in one of them and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. >More social. People compliment me saying I look good lately and seem really happy. >Went to a house party for the first time in 4 years. Multiple girls approached me and flirted with me. At the end of the night was cuddling with two cute girls on the couch. >Started exercising. I never exercise, but now it feels good and increases my mood even further during the day. Why did you guys lie to me and say nofap was a meme? I finally feel good for the first time since I was a child.

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Corrupt listerv | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)17:58:17 No.62721869 What are some autistic things you do when you think no one is around. I'll start. >make exaggerated licking motions as if I'm licking an invisible p---- >make exaggerated fingering motions sometimes using my whole body like I'm throwing a punch while making kungfu 53 KB JPG movie sound affects with my mouth >randomly hump the air when I walk and make a kungfu punching sound affect with my mouth for each thrust >flex my buttcheeks to the beat of a song >when I'm wearing my covid mask in public I make faces at people since they cant see it >collect my boogers until I have a booger ball the throw it away
: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)17:58:17 No.62721869 What are some autistic things you do when you think no one is around. I'll start. >make exaggerated licking motions as if I'm licking an invisible p---- >make exaggerated fingering motions sometimes using my whole body like I'm throwing a punch while making kungfu 53 KB JPG movie sound affects with my mouth >randomly hump the air when I walk and make a kungfu punching sound affect with my mouth for each thrust >flex my buttcheeks to the beat of a song >when I'm wearing my covid mask in public I make faces at people since they cant see it >collect my boogers until I have a booger ball the throw it away

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Anon is horny | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 849483840 15 perccel ezelőtt •.. >be me >hanging with the boys and decide to crank call some hookers >they answer >"grey mane or battle born?" >"what?" >" you got stones in your ears? Gray mane or Battleborn?" 88,3 kB JPG >pic unrelated
Anonymous | 849483840 15 perccel ezelőtt •.. >be me >hanging with the boys and decide to crank call some hookers >they answer >"grey mane or battle born?" >"what?" >" you got stones in your ears? Gray mane or Battleborn?" 88,3 kB JPG >pic unrelated

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Anon has finals | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)11:48:54 No.849486016 >be me, end of college >finals >stay up all week before on adderal studying >time to do the finals >we all go into a room and have 2 hours to write a paper 93 KB JPG >hide in a bathroom before entering >pop all the adderal i have left, do some lines of coke too >i am TWEAKING >get the test, im shaking >three topics to write the essay about >choices 1, 2, 3 >damn i know the thrid one really well >ill pass f--- yea lets write >write 7 full pages in 2 hours high off my ass >my hand hurts >results >i failed >i circled the first topic and wrote about the third one >repeating year
: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)11:48:54 No.849486016 >be me, end of college >finals >stay up all week before on adderal studying >time to do the finals >we all go into a room and have 2 hours to write a paper 93 KB JPG >hide in a bathroom before entering >pop all the adderal i have left, do some lines of coke too >i am TWEAKING >get the test, im shaking >three topics to write the essay about >choices 1, 2, 3 >damn i know the thrid one really well >ill pass f--- yea lets write >write 7 full pages in 2 hours high off my ass >my hand hurts >results >i failed >i circled the first topic and wrote about the third one >repeating year

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Anon is horny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)22:56:04 No.60318764 >go on instagram >look up tagged location photos of gym i go to >fap furiously to all the thots that i usually from there >feel too ashamed the next day to 443 KB PNG stare at anyone while at the gym I'm not the only one who does this, right?
: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)22:56:04 No.60318764 >go on instagram >look up tagged location photos of gym i go to >fap furiously to all the thots that i usually from there >feel too ashamed the next day to 443 KB PNG stare at anyone while at the gym I'm not the only one who does this, right?

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Anon is depressed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous t/7UY9VC 43 minutes ago 311842166 : >be fat >decide to end it because depression >shoot self >bulletproof >more depression
Anonymous t/7UY9VC 43 minutes ago 311842166 : >be fat >decide to end it because depression >shoot self >bulletproof >more depression

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Anon suffers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/17/13(Tue)02:48 No.4806998 Replies: >>4806999 > >>4806948 (OP) >be 10 >waiting in line with mom >Hold on, I forgot to get something stay in line." >Line gets closer to the front >Mom still not back yet Anonymous 09/17/13(Tue)02:49 No.4806999 Replies: 2>4807013 File: 1379400589600 jpg-(15 KB, 300x300, 1365353181649.jpg) >>4806998 Oh f--- please don't
Anonymous 09/17/13(Tue)02:48 No.4806998 Replies: >>4806999 > >>4806948 (OP) >be 10 >waiting in line with mom >Hold on, I forgot to get something stay in line." >Line gets closer to the front >Mom still not back yet Anonymous 09/17/13(Tue)02:49 No.4806999 Replies: 2>4807013 File: 1379400589600 jpg-(15 KB, 300x300, 1365353181649.jpg) >>4806998 Oh f--- please don't

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oh no they have found us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)09:09:02 No.849327632 >get in argument with friend about worst places on the internet >I say this bored >he links me this 35 KB JPG https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDati ngStrategy/ and i thought you f------ where spiteful 23 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 03/11/21(Thu)09:09:02 No.849327632 >get in argument with friend about worst places on the internet >I say this bored >he links me this 35 KB JPG https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDati ngStrategy/ and i thought you f------ where spiteful 23 Replies View Thread

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Advice Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)21:51:21 No.62721101 >>62720977 (OP) # >see qt girl >let her catch you creeping on her so she knows you are interested in her >if she is interested back she will create occasions for you to talk to her >grow a pair and actually talk to her >get to know her >ask her to be your qt gf >become couple the tricky part is the step about growing a pair. >>62721132 # : Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)21:53:25 No.62721132 >>62721101 # And the step about meeting a girl
: Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)21:51:21 No.62721101 >>62720977 (OP) # >see qt girl >let her catch you creeping on her so she knows you are interested in her >if she is interested back she will create occasions for you to talk to her >grow a pair and actually talk to her >get to know her >ask her to be your qt gf >become couple the tricky part is the step about growing a pair. >>62721132 # : Anonymous 03/12/21(Fri)21:53:25 No.62721132 >>62721101 # And the step about meeting a girl

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Anon tries vegetarian tendies. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)21:40:37 No.62729154 >be at the store >see some vegetarian tendies on sale >meh might as well try them heard they taste the same >go home and open the package >suddenly the window breaks as a 100 KB PNG m----- rolls in >its Joe f------ Rogan >"no vegan b------- eat wild game like a man" >he takes out a bow and shots my cat >jumps me the moment i start to hesitate >jiujitsu grapples me and almost chokes me to death >i instinctively grasp for air >notice a bong in my mouth >"dimethyltryptamine will help you see the light" >get blasted into a dimension more real than this one >filled with Joe Rogans preaching and doing standup
: Anonymous 03/13/21(Sat)21:40:37 No.62729154 >be at the store >see some vegetarian tendies on sale >meh might as well try them heard they taste the same >go home and open the package >suddenly the window breaks as a 100 KB PNG m----- rolls in >its Joe f------ Rogan >"no vegan b------- eat wild game like a man" >he takes out a bow and shots my cat >jumps me the moment i start to hesitate >jiujitsu grapples me and almost chokes me to death >i instinctively grasp for air >notice a bong in my mouth >"dimethyltryptamine will help you see the light" >get blasted into a dimension more real than this one >filled with Joe Rogans preaching and doing standup

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