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Anon doesn't like talking to women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What the f--- is wrong with me(...) 02/28/21(Sun)23:22:09 No.62535687 >Go to club with best friend >Some hole begins talking to me >Tries to get me to buy her a drink >With disgust, say "Why would I buy you a drink? YOU buy ME a drink." >This makes her more aggressive >Won't leave me alone 193 KB PNG >Try to talk to her >Doesn't even seem to have a brain in her head >Keeps trying to get me to buy her a drink "What part of 'no, you buy me a drink' confused you? The part where you don't get what you want?" >"I like giving b-------" >Constantly fighting the urge to punch her in the face Why am I disgusted when women talk to me?
: Anonymous What the f--- is wrong with me(...) 02/28/21(Sun)23:22:09 No.62535687 >Go to club with best friend >Some hole begins talking to me >Tries to get me to buy her a drink >With disgust, say "Why would I buy you a drink? YOU buy ME a drink." >This makes her more aggressive >Won't leave me alone 193 KB PNG >Try to talk to her >Doesn't even seem to have a brain in her head >Keeps trying to get me to buy her a drink "What part of 'no, you buy me a drink' confused you? The part where you don't get what you want?" >"I like giving b-------" >Constantly fighting the urge to punch her in the face Why am I disgusted when women talk to me?

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anon is free | /r/Greentext

File: 5b6f0 1a6-a012-46f9-8a15-1(..).jpg (509 KB, 919x919) O Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:08:16 No.21 ITT: Times you acted like Eren Jaeger >See a dog being taken on walk >Kick it and berate it for not being free as I am | Showing all replies. O Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:18:03 No >>217223905 (OP) Based Erenchad. Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:18:40 No i r---- a lesbian girl
File: 5b6f0 1a6-a012-46f9-8a15-1(..).jpg (509 KB, 919x919) O Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:08:16 No.21 ITT: Times you acted like Eren Jaeger >See a dog being taken on walk >Kick it and berate it for not being free as I am | Showing all replies. O Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:18:03 No >>217223905 (OP) Based Erenchad. Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:18:40 No i r---- a lesbian girl

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Anon is comforted by his fellow robots | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:50:41 No.62534898 Please be patient I have autism >be me >just got my first serious job >been a McDonald's employee for years before that >someone calls our office, I pick up the phone 42 KB JPG >autism.exe >"thanks for choosing McDonald's, how may I help you today?" >confused silence on the other end of the line >confused silence in my office, everyone who heard it is staring at me I can never return to this job : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:54:46 No.62534922 It's all fine, fren. Just say that you were a little confused that day, overworked and that's why it happened. 61 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)16:03:24 No.62535001 >>62534898 (OP) # Dude, just play it off as a funny one off incident. Laugh it off and tell the caller and everyone in the office that you've spent years working at Mcdonalds and old habits die hard.
: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:50:41 No.62534898 Please be patient I have autism >be me >just got my first serious job >been a McDonald's employee for years before that >someone calls our office, I pick up the phone 42 KB JPG >autism.exe >"thanks for choosing McDonald's, how may I help you today?" >confused silence on the other end of the line >confused silence in my office, everyone who heard it is staring at me I can never return to this job : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)15:54:46 No.62534922 It's all fine, fren. Just say that you were a little confused that day, overworked and that's why it happened. 61 KB JPG : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)16:03:24 No.62535001 >>62534898 (OP) # Dude, just play it off as a funny one off incident. Laugh it off and tell the caller and everyone in the office that you've spent years working at Mcdonalds and old habits die hard.

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Anon chokes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)13:06:20 No.848506631 name 3 things that arent Jackie Chan ill start > feet > spider > Jackie Chan 6 KB JPG F--- View Thread
: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)13:06:20 No.848506631 name 3 things that arent Jackie Chan ill start > feet > spider > Jackie Chan 6 KB JPG F--- View Thread

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Anon will forget | /r/Greentext

File: mfw.jpg (9 KB, 360x287) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:35:44 No.848511858 > googling Alzheimer's symptoms > all the links are purple. >mfw
File: mfw.jpg (9 KB, 360x287) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)12:35:44 No.848511858 > googling Alzheimer's symptoms > all the links are purple. >mfw

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Anon has a psychotic episode | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No.622798957 17 minutes ago I once pretended to have a psychotic episode and smashed a macbook with a bat to keep my brother and his fiancee from stumbling across pictures I photoshopped of her giving birth to me. 6 replies
Anonymous No.622798957 17 minutes ago I once pretended to have a psychotic episode and smashed a macbook with a bat to keep my brother and his fiancee from stumbling across pictures I photoshopped of her giving birth to me. 6 replies

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Anon goofed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes
: Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Shrimps save anon's life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Shrimp saved my life 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016 >be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/f-- uncle's house for some s--- >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before >he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG >throw them in a barely cycled tank with some s----- rock >several shrimp die >realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on >eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade >the eggs disappear and I once again thinkI f----- up >a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp >l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending >start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out >relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp >for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake >it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs >cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >s--- they're gonna think I'm autistic >they actually think my shrimp are really cool >they start inviting me to their social events >start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you.
: Anonymous Shrimp saved my life 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016 >be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/f-- uncle's house for some s--- >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before >he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG >throw them in a barely cycled tank with some s----- rock >several shrimp die >realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on >eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade >the eggs disappear and I once again thinkI f----- up >a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp >l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending >start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out >relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp >for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake >it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs >cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >s--- they're gonna think I'm autistic >they actually think my shrimp are really cool >they start inviting me to their social events >start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you.

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Anon is living the dream. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)19:06:35 No.848481848 LIVING THE DREAM PM 6PM. S PM QAMA 4A.M. FAP FAP KAM 4212425.png 807 KB PNG Post your daily routine. >wake up >j------- to sissy p--- in bed >get out of bed >make myself some coffee >get on the pc and play vidya and watch series >browse the chan >j------- to Sissy P--- >get drunk over the afternoon >go on a walk taking sips out of my flask >start shitposting again >j------- to sissy p--- again >go to bed and hug myself to sleep
: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)19:06:35 No.848481848 LIVING THE DREAM PM 6PM. S PM QAMA 4A.M. FAP FAP KAM 4212425.png 807 KB PNG Post your daily routine. >wake up >j------- to sissy p--- in bed >get out of bed >make myself some coffee >get on the pc and play vidya and watch series >browse the chan >j------- to Sissy P--- >get drunk over the afternoon >go on a walk taking sips out of my flask >start shitposting again >j------- to sissy p--- again >go to bed and hug myself to sleep

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Anon paints a picture of a soyboy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Isoy/ 02/28/21(Sun)01:49:05 No.62527812 imagine. this is your life. >you think trump was the root of all problems in the world >you think george bush and obama are decent people 24 KB JPG >you just had a top comment in r/politics >your reddit karma is skyrocketing >you watch reruns of the big bang theory til you fall asleep >your wife is obsessed with disney and feminism, and wants nothing to do with cleaning your condo >you ask your wife how she would feel about having sex with other men while you watch >you go to the barcade with your other millennial frens and drink IPAS >you are about to get a vasectomy so that you could focus full time on video games and your furbabies >you apologize to POC for being white, they look at you strangely but you know it's for the greater good >you haven't been to the gym since early college and eat processed foods and drink onions >you blocked your family on facebook and called them KKK members after they made a joke about you not supporting trump >life has never been better. Post greentexts about similar people. This isn't one specific person, but an amalgamation of ones ik irl. F------ California i stg
: Anonymous Isoy/ 02/28/21(Sun)01:49:05 No.62527812 imagine. this is your life. >you think trump was the root of all problems in the world >you think george bush and obama are decent people 24 KB JPG >you just had a top comment in r/politics >your reddit karma is skyrocketing >you watch reruns of the big bang theory til you fall asleep >your wife is obsessed with disney and feminism, and wants nothing to do with cleaning your condo >you ask your wife how she would feel about having sex with other men while you watch >you go to the barcade with your other millennial frens and drink IPAS >you are about to get a vasectomy so that you could focus full time on video games and your furbabies >you apologize to POC for being white, they look at you strangely but you know it's for the greater good >you haven't been to the gym since early college and eat processed foods and drink onions >you blocked your family on facebook and called them KKK members after they made a joke about you not supporting trump >life has never been better. Post greentexts about similar people. This isn't one specific person, but an amalgamation of ones ik irl. F------ California i stg

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Anon encounters racial diversity | /r/Greentext

What is the most interesting monster/paranormal thing in North America? Pepe Busters 43 KB JPG 20 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)03:08:22 No.27787287 >>27786028 (OP) # n------ obviously
What is the most interesting monster/paranormal thing in North America? Pepe Busters 43 KB JPG 20 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)03:08:22 No.27787287 >>27786028 (OP) # n------ obviously

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Anon sperged out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)21:50:41 No.62534898 Pleose be >be me patient I have >just got my first serious job >been a McDonald's employee for years before that >someone calls our office, I pick up the phone >autism.exe 42 KB JPG >"thanks for choosing McDonald's, how may I help you today?" >confused silence on the other end of the line >confused silence in my office, everyone who heard it is staring at me I can never return to this job
: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)21:50:41 No.62534898 Pleose be >be me patient I have >just got my first serious job >been a McDonald's employee for years before that >someone calls our office, I pick up the phone >autism.exe 42 KB JPG >"thanks for choosing McDonald's, how may I help you today?" >confused silence on the other end of the line >confused silence in my office, everyone who heard it is staring at me I can never return to this job

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Anon comes to a realization | /r/Greentext

>the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread
>the one girl who was always really nice to me in HS is now studying in uni to professionally take care of autists Hmmm 6 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread

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Better to be alone than in bad company | /r/Greentext

File: fb_frog_says_why.jpg (101 KB, 1024x904) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)05:35:43 No.62533131 >>62533144 >>62533175 >>62533217 >>62533262 >>62533362 >>62533396 >>62533428 >>62533549 >>62533615 >chick says she's lonely >offer to have sex with her for free >she says no any robots relate? Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)05:41:41 No.62533168 >>62533177 >Girl says she really wants some tea >Offer her a slice of pizza >She says no >> W--
File: fb_frog_says_why.jpg (101 KB, 1024x904) Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)05:35:43 No.62533131 >>62533144 >>62533175 >>62533217 >>62533262 >>62533362 >>62533396 >>62533428 >>62533549 >>62533615 >chick says she's lonely >offer to have sex with her for free >she says no any robots relate? Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)05:41:41 No.62533168 >>62533177 >Girl says she really wants some tea >Offer her a slice of pizza >She says no >> W--

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Anon trys meth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)08:03:51 No.62533689 >be me >watch breaking bad for the first time >decide to try meth because they make it look and sound too delicious >get addicted >lose friends, family, gf, basicallt everything i cared for Is there any way i could sue the producers 8 KB JPG of the show for getting me addicted to meth? : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)08:06:43 No.62533712 >>62533689 (OP) # >>get addicted Lmao you stupid f---. 1st rule of meth use: don't get addicted >>62533759 # : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)08:07:18 No.62533716 >>62533689 (OP) # >decide to try meth lol you f------ idiot
: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)08:03:51 No.62533689 >be me >watch breaking bad for the first time >decide to try meth because they make it look and sound too delicious >get addicted >lose friends, family, gf, basicallt everything i cared for Is there any way i could sue the producers 8 KB JPG of the show for getting me addicted to meth? : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)08:06:43 No.62533712 >>62533689 (OP) # >>get addicted Lmao you stupid f---. 1st rule of meth use: don't get addicted >>62533759 # : Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)08:07:18 No.62533716 >>62533689 (OP) # >decide to try meth lol you f------ idiot

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Anon isn't capitalist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/18(Sun)09:54:36 No.784590657 >Be we. 11 KB PNG
: Anonymous 11/11/18(Sun)09:54:36 No.784590657 >Be we. 11 KB PNG

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Anon is an autistic boytoy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)04:16:58 No.848429934 Not f----- up or anything but I keep this a secret mostly > Be me, 22yo dorky IT student > Somehow in a relationship with a 46yo woman. She was a semi-famous fashion designer. > One night she gets invited to a fetish clothing event and decides to bring me along > She mostly did normal clothes but had some leather and latex stuff as well > Around that time I had just started playing tabletop rpgs >I had an obsession with Vampire the Masquerade, read a lot of the rule books, lore books and beat Bloodlines with every character, several times with Tremere and Malkavian even > The night comes, autism kicks in and I f------ larped the entire event as my Brujah character from the campaign I was playing at the time > In context: I was a 22yo vampire larper surrounded with 40yo+ leather and latex fetishists laughing their asses off at my cringy s--- > 10/10 would do again, had a blast > We broke up a little bit after that but for unrelated reasons, she actually had a blast laughing at me with her friends, which I was totally cool with
: Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)04:16:58 No.848429934 Not f----- up or anything but I keep this a secret mostly > Be me, 22yo dorky IT student > Somehow in a relationship with a 46yo woman. She was a semi-famous fashion designer. > One night she gets invited to a fetish clothing event and decides to bring me along > She mostly did normal clothes but had some leather and latex stuff as well > Around that time I had just started playing tabletop rpgs >I had an obsession with Vampire the Masquerade, read a lot of the rule books, lore books and beat Bloodlines with every character, several times with Tremere and Malkavian even > The night comes, autism kicks in and I f------ larped the entire event as my Brujah character from the campaign I was playing at the time > In context: I was a 22yo vampire larper surrounded with 40yo+ leather and latex fetishists laughing their asses off at my cringy s--- > 10/10 would do again, had a blast > We broke up a little bit after that but for unrelated reasons, she actually had a blast laughing at me with her friends, which I was totally cool with

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Picture perfect | /r/Greentext

Ir9k/ Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)01:27:54 No.62529164 >mfw all my coworkers at my age are married with kids >Mfw I am 30 and never even kissed a girl >Have to lie and pretend I'm a father of 3 to my coworkers >Made a photoshopped picture in a 28 KB PNG frame of me and my "family" and put in my office
Ir9k/ Anonymous 02/28/21(Sun)01:27:54 No.62529164 >mfw all my coworkers at my age are married with kids >Mfw I am 30 and never even kissed a girl >Have to lie and pretend I'm a father of 3 to my coworkers >Made a photoshopped picture in a 28 KB PNG frame of me and my "family" and put in my office

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Anon pops plastic bags | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: PDKJ+xoC 08/21/18(Tue)17:44:22 No.6237711 >be me >order some s--- on amazon >three days later, package arrives O >take stuff out >find those plastic little bags of air, like 30 of them >idea.png >start popping them outside 16 KB JPG >loud af, sounds like gunshots >even better idea, start screaming and begging for help while popping at the same time >do this for 10 minutes >finally go back in laughing my ass off >20 minutes later, hear sirens outside and commotion >hear someone through a loudspeaker saying "we know you're in there, come out with your hands up!" >refuse to come out scared shitless How badly did f--- up, lads?
: Anonymous (ID: PDKJ+xoC 08/21/18(Tue)17:44:22 No.6237711 >be me >order some s--- on amazon >three days later, package arrives O >take stuff out >find those plastic little bags of air, like 30 of them >idea.png >start popping them outside 16 KB JPG >loud af, sounds like gunshots >even better idea, start screaming and begging for help while popping at the same time >do this for 10 minutes >finally go back in laughing my ass off >20 minutes later, hear sirens outside and commotion >hear someone through a loudspeaker saying "we know you're in there, come out with your hands up!" >refuse to come out scared shitless How badly did f--- up, lads?

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Anon experiences affection | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)13:13:11 No.62463016 >Be me >talk to girl >she likes me >she is very clear about this >never experienced this type of dynamic before >great person to talk to and is 50 KB JPG appreciate of me for being myself with her How the fu- This s--- still feels like I'm dreaming bros. But I think I've made it. I'm in absolute disbelief I'm even experiencing this. How do I cope with this sudden flood of warmth and affection?
: Anonymous 02/23/21(Tue)13:13:11 No.62463016 >Be me >talk to girl >she likes me >she is very clear about this >never experienced this type of dynamic before >great person to talk to and is 50 KB JPG appreciate of me for being myself with her How the fu- This s--- still feels like I'm dreaming bros. But I think I've made it. I'm in absolute disbelief I'm even experiencing this. How do I cope with this sudden flood of warmth and affection?

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