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Time flies for anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/13(Thu)19:13 No.11884997 Replies: >>11885009 I'm gay- My dad is not pleased with this fact. Completely homophobic. Half the time his homophobia doesn't even make sense. >Fishing show on TV in the living room >Watching it with mom and dad >Mom: "I don't have the patience for that kind of stuff" >Me: "It doesn't feel like too long when you're out there" >Dad: "Time flies when you're a f-----." >Go to my room It's getting ridiculous. He goes out of his way to respond to everything I do by calling me a f--.
Anonymous 03/14/13(Thu)19:13 No.11884997 Replies: >>11885009 I'm gay- My dad is not pleased with this fact. Completely homophobic. Half the time his homophobia doesn't even make sense. >Fishing show on TV in the living room >Watching it with mom and dad >Mom: "I don't have the patience for that kind of stuff" >Me: "It doesn't feel like too long when you're out there" >Dad: "Time flies when you're a f-----." >Go to my room It's getting ridiculous. He goes out of his way to respond to everything I do by calling me a f--.

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It doesn't matter if we all die | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)19:51:22 No.64402815 >be me >dont like being in public >barely go outside except to get food >friend hits me up and asks me to chill 128 KB JPG >agree to meet up reluctantly >put on an outfit of new clothes that i ordered off the internet, never go anywhere so i never opened them or worn them anywhere >really like these new clothes and i have also been working out so i have a better physique >been taking care of myself despite not going anywhere >hair freshly washed and done up >skin care routine has my skin glowing >shave face and body >feel confident >anxiety gone >head outside to park to meet friend to get picked up >wait 2 hours >it starts raining >by an umbrella >someone yells "nice outfit, goth-" >as the car drove away his sentence cuts off >i shout "THANKS" after his car >car turns around >drives all the way up the street >makes a K turn >drives back towards me >drives through a deep ass puddle >barely dodge the water >hear a bunch of chicks laughing as the car drives off >driver (male) throws a drink at me but thankfully misses >hear him yell "EMO ASS-" >couldnt understand the rest of his sentence as he sped down the street >get home and take clothes off >workout >check phone after >friend still has yet to open the message
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)19:51:22 No.64402815 >be me >dont like being in public >barely go outside except to get food >friend hits me up and asks me to chill 128 KB JPG >agree to meet up reluctantly >put on an outfit of new clothes that i ordered off the internet, never go anywhere so i never opened them or worn them anywhere >really like these new clothes and i have also been working out so i have a better physique >been taking care of myself despite not going anywhere >hair freshly washed and done up >skin care routine has my skin glowing >shave face and body >feel confident >anxiety gone >head outside to park to meet friend to get picked up >wait 2 hours >it starts raining >by an umbrella >someone yells "nice outfit, goth-" >as the car drove away his sentence cuts off >i shout "THANKS" after his car >car turns around >drives all the way up the street >makes a K turn >drives back towards me >drives through a deep ass puddle >barely dodge the water >hear a bunch of chicks laughing as the car drives off >driver (male) throws a drink at me but thankfully misses >hear him yell "EMO ASS-" >couldnt understand the rest of his sentence as he sped down the street >get home and take clothes off >workout >check phone after >friend still has yet to open the message

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Anon's Favorite Insult | /r/Greentext

File: plebit,png (96 KB, 491x567) O Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)03:03:42 No.858167997 >be me >check out reddit for once >top of reddit feed "what is your favorite insult" >sees un-insulting insults >mytrainingwillpayoff jpg >cracks knuckles >N----- >hits send >account suspended for three days Why are they like this?
File: plebit,png (96 KB, 491x567) O Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)03:03:42 No.858167997 >be me >check out reddit for once >top of reddit feed "what is your favorite insult" >sees un-insulting insults >mytrainingwillpayoff jpg >cracks knuckles >N----- >hits send >account suspended for three days Why are they like this?

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Anon falls for his cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)01:44:15 No.856942955 >playing online game >can't pause >cat keeps rubbing up against my crotch >guess she like feeling it rise or something >end up preeing 78 KB JPG >have to stop her before I c-- because I couldn't live with the shame >later that night have a wet dream >wake up while c------ to find cat kneading the head of my penis >it felt so f------ good >can't help but get really hard around cats now anons help, I never wanted this.
: Anonymous 06/16/21(Wed)01:44:15 No.856942955 >playing online game >can't pause >cat keeps rubbing up against my crotch >guess she like feeling it rise or something >end up preeing 78 KB JPG >have to stop her before I c-- because I couldn't live with the shame >later that night have a wet dream >wake up while c------ to find cat kneading the head of my penis >it felt so f------ good >can't help but get really hard around cats now anons help, I never wanted this.

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Anon is gay | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)22:44:05 No.9761410 >mfw i realize bussy doesn't exist >its just man ass is it over, bros? 71 KB PNG
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)22:44:05 No.9761410 >mfw i realize bussy doesn't exist >its just man ass is it over, bros? 71 KB PNG

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Anon fears the samurai | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What is your opinion on Japan? 08/20/19(Tue)20:28:54 No.110138909 Personally , not a fan. They are like aliens from another planet to me in how they look, think and behave. JAPAN 8 KB JPG : Anonymous II 08/20/19(Tue)20:29:52 No.110138945 The jews fear the samurai >>110140888 # : Anonymous I I 08/20/19(Tue)20:31:28 No.110138995 The jews fear the samurai >>110140888 # : Anonymous E 08/20/19(Tue)20:32:10 No.110139032 The jews fear the samurai
: Anonymous What is your opinion on Japan? 08/20/19(Tue)20:28:54 No.110138909 Personally , not a fan. They are like aliens from another planet to me in how they look, think and behave. JAPAN 8 KB JPG : Anonymous II 08/20/19(Tue)20:29:52 No.110138945 The jews fear the samurai >>110140888 # : Anonymous I I 08/20/19(Tue)20:31:28 No.110138995 The jews fear the samurai >>110140888 # : Anonymous E 08/20/19(Tue)20:32:10 No.110139032 The jews fear the samurai

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Anon struggles with metric system | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a good son | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)00:56:36 No.858158364 >be me >NEET f----- living with parents >dad is middle aged >sprains his ankle at work >stays in bed all day and needs help with a lot of 22 KB JPG things >help him out all day >make him tea >watch old TV shows with him and laugh along with him >"you're treating your dad good kid. I love ya" Love you too dad
: Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)00:56:36 No.858158364 >be me >NEET f----- living with parents >dad is middle aged >sprains his ankle at work >stays in bed all day and needs help with a lot of 22 KB JPG things >help him out all day >make him tea >watch old TV shows with him and laugh along with him >"you're treating your dad good kid. I love ya" Love you too dad

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Anon says fat fart | /r/Greentext

File: th.jpg (25 KB, 474x474) Fat fart Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)00:40:33 No.9760464 ► >Aunt visits our house >10yo. me thinking saying fat fart randomly is >funny for no reason >Aunt gets ready to leave home >10yo. me says "fat fart" >Get spanked in the face by mom because >she thinks its an insult fat fart
File: th.jpg (25 KB, 474x474) Fat fart Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)00:40:33 No.9760464 ► >Aunt visits our house >10yo. me thinking saying fat fart randomly is >funny for no reason >Aunt gets ready to leave home >10yo. me says "fat fart" >Get spanked in the face by mom because >she thinks its an insult fat fart

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anon almost has an accident | /r/Greentext

File: imagem_2021-07-01_155821.png (200 KB, 501x412) O Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:58:26 No.858107619 [Reply] >>858107660 >be me 40 minutes ago >shopping in supermarket >out of nowhere huge urge to take a s--- >ignore it >urge becomes bigger and bigger >start sweating and legs feel weak >pay my stuff and start walking fast to the bathroom >i can feel it coming out >clench my ass so hard not even wi-fi could pass between my ass cheeks >arrive in the stall >at the same time as im sitting i let it out >s--- for like 5 minutes, it hurts like hell >can feel tear in my eye >but at least i made it on time
File: imagem_2021-07-01_155821.png (200 KB, 501x412) O Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)10:58:26 No.858107619 [Reply] >>858107660 >be me 40 minutes ago >shopping in supermarket >out of nowhere huge urge to take a s--- >ignore it >urge becomes bigger and bigger >start sweating and legs feel weak >pay my stuff and start walking fast to the bathroom >i can feel it coming out >clench my ass so hard not even wi-fi could pass between my ass cheeks >arrive in the stall >at the same time as im sitting i let it out >s--- for like 5 minutes, it hurts like hell >can feel tear in my eye >but at least i made it on time

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Anon cracks open a drink | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)20:37:05 No.858143346 FAMOUS OLDE TY ROOT BEER >out on a hot summer's Bang's day >crack open an ice cold SINCE 1898 ITS COOD soda >*sip* >"Aaaah, nothing like a refreshing Bang's root 85 KB JPG beer"
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)20:37:05 No.858143346 FAMOUS OLDE TY ROOT BEER >out on a hot summer's Bang's day >crack open an ice cold SINCE 1898 ITS COOD soda >*sip* >"Aaaah, nothing like a refreshing Bang's root 85 KB JPG beer"

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Femanon disappoints her friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)20:24:21 No.858146223 >be me, highschool female >go to rich private school where the ceilings are high and the students are higher >not too popular but not unpopular, have a group of several friends >have very different interests with them 10 KB JPG >really like music, playlists with 2k+ songs, listening to music basically whenever im not watching youtube or something >friends say we should make a group roadtrip playlist where we all add our own songs >a bit nervous, tell them that they definitely wouldn't like my music >they're really nice and encourage me to put my own songs >obviously i'm excited as hell to be sharing my interests with them for once >go home, spend several hours just browsing through my playlists to pick the most normal songs i think that they'll like >barely manage to muster the confidence to put some in the group playlist after a long time of thinking it over >later, we're on the freeway, everyone is chatting with the playlist on in the background >mostly basic, olivia rodrigo and tiktok songs >one of mine comes on >the car goes quiet, i realize something is wrong >internally crying but i don't say anything >friend looks over to me >mfw she asks if we could skip it >mfw she didn't even have to ask if it was my song, they already knew >mfw i realize they haven't skipped any other songs what the f--- is wrong with me? why can't i just be normal for once?
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)20:24:21 No.858146223 >be me, highschool female >go to rich private school where the ceilings are high and the students are higher >not too popular but not unpopular, have a group of several friends >have very different interests with them 10 KB JPG >really like music, playlists with 2k+ songs, listening to music basically whenever im not watching youtube or something >friends say we should make a group roadtrip playlist where we all add our own songs >a bit nervous, tell them that they definitely wouldn't like my music >they're really nice and encourage me to put my own songs >obviously i'm excited as hell to be sharing my interests with them for once >go home, spend several hours just browsing through my playlists to pick the most normal songs i think that they'll like >barely manage to muster the confidence to put some in the group playlist after a long time of thinking it over >later, we're on the freeway, everyone is chatting with the playlist on in the background >mostly basic, olivia rodrigo and tiktok songs >one of mine comes on >the car goes quiet, i realize something is wrong >internally crying but i don't say anything >friend looks over to me >mfw she asks if we could skip it >mfw she didn't even have to ask if it was my song, they already knew >mfw i realize they haven't skipped any other songs what the f--- is wrong with me? why can't i just be normal for once?

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Anon finds true Bliss | /r/Greentext

File: download.jpg (8 KB, 252x200) O Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)01:26:21 No.858138933 ► >Live In the good part of east Europe >Whole family farms for living >Good Income >Good living conditions >Completly ignore Politics >Have good internet >Life good >Even if war no troops will pass through because too irrelevant >Last time a solider been here was in 1944 when a soviet stole a cow >Basically live in Isolated Heaven
File: download.jpg (8 KB, 252x200) O Anonymous 07/02/21(Fri)01:26:21 No.858138933 ► >Live In the good part of east Europe >Whole family farms for living >Good Income >Good living conditions >Completly ignore Politics >Have good internet >Life good >Even if war no troops will pass through because too irrelevant >Last time a solider been here was in 1944 when a soviet stole a cow >Basically live in Isolated Heaven

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Is there anybody out there? | /r/Greentext

File: ithurtsithurtsithurts.jpg (120 KB, 1125x1118) O Ivl Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)19:13:42 No.562193650 [Reply] >Be me >14 >Playing Team Fortress 2 back in 2013 >Little kid opens his mic >Asks how to jump with the rocket launcher >Consider making fun of him, because l'm an edgy little s--- >Someone else does, shouts at him, calling him names >He immediately goes quiet >I feel awful that that could've been me >Decide to add him, he accepts >Tell him that nobody should treat him that way, and if he wants to play with me, l'll help him with everything >Teach him how to rocket Jump >He asks tons of questions, I help him out >We eventually get to talking about life >He's 9, and his name is Brandon >Months go by >They tell me all about how Brandon raves about us playing together, how I'm like a big brother he never got to have >Every day he's excited to get home from school and play TF2 with me >Offers to set up a surprise LAN party for him after we find out we live close together >He calls me his best friend >Feel socially anxious, nervous of being seen as weird for being friends with a kid >Months later, I start to get tired of him >He's always asking me to play, and I'm getting edgier >Start telling him we'll play later, that I need to do other stuff >Eventually stop bothering to even manually go offline on Steam, just playing after telling him I can't >After a month of ignoring him, he stops asking >He goes offline for good >Years later, I feel guilty and leave a comment on his profile, telling him I miss him and would love to play more >Realize he left a comment on my profile I never saw, right after I started ignoring him >"they said mean thing to me, I dont want to play tf2 anymore i wish u would come and play again so id have fun" >My heart sinks >Start to check his profile semi-regularly >He has now been offline for 6 years I'm sorry Brandon, I should've done better. I miss you so much buddy. I really did have fun with you, I really did, I promise.
File: ithurtsithurtsithurts.jpg (120 KB, 1125x1118) O Ivl Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)19:13:42 No.562193650 [Reply] >Be me >14 >Playing Team Fortress 2 back in 2013 >Little kid opens his mic >Asks how to jump with the rocket launcher >Consider making fun of him, because l'm an edgy little s--- >Someone else does, shouts at him, calling him names >He immediately goes quiet >I feel awful that that could've been me >Decide to add him, he accepts >Tell him that nobody should treat him that way, and if he wants to play with me, l'll help him with everything >Teach him how to rocket Jump >He asks tons of questions, I help him out >We eventually get to talking about life >He's 9, and his name is Brandon >Months go by >They tell me all about how Brandon raves about us playing together, how I'm like a big brother he never got to have >Every day he's excited to get home from school and play TF2 with me >Offers to set up a surprise LAN party for him after we find out we live close together >He calls me his best friend >Feel socially anxious, nervous of being seen as weird for being friends with a kid >Months later, I start to get tired of him >He's always asking me to play, and I'm getting edgier >Start telling him we'll play later, that I need to do other stuff >Eventually stop bothering to even manually go offline on Steam, just playing after telling him I can't >After a month of ignoring him, he stops asking >He goes offline for good >Years later, I feel guilty and leave a comment on his profile, telling him I miss him and would love to play more >Realize he left a comment on my profile I never saw, right after I started ignoring him >"they said mean thing to me, I dont want to play tf2 anymore i wish u would come and play again so id have fun" >My heart sinks >Start to check his profile semi-regularly >He has now been offline for 6 years I'm sorry Brandon, I should've done better. I miss you so much buddy. I really did have fun with you, I really did, I promise.

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Anon listens to Burial | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)22:39:13 No.858129330 >be me >no gf, friends talk to me rarely >sad >turn on music >cry thanks, Burial 38 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)22:39:13 No.858129330 >be me >no gf, friends talk to me rarely >sad >turn on music >cry thanks, Burial 38 KB JPG

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Anon is Hitler | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)23:13:32 No.45980722 >>45980617 # >tfw occasionally have dreams where I am Hitler >l'm usually just managing the country and the war and getting stressed out or having a meeting with generals >had one really weird one where I was meeting with several other Hitlers from other universes/timelines so we could try to synchronize our victory, but I was the weak link I think I was Hitler in a past life guys what do
: Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)23:13:32 No.45980722 >>45980617 # >tfw occasionally have dreams where I am Hitler >l'm usually just managing the country and the war and getting stressed out or having a meeting with generals >had one really weird one where I was meeting with several other Hitlers from other universes/timelines so we could try to synchronize our victory, but I was the weak link I think I was Hitler in a past life guys what do

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Anon has a dear friend | /r/Greentext

>be 14 >have a best friend >plays vidya, talk girls, a genuinely good friend. >about a month ago his mom passed away >terminal cancer, horrible thing >a week before his birthday his dad 50 KB JPG reached out to me >confusion.jpeg >"hey anon, it's friendanon's dad, I know you too are pretty close and next week is his birthday, figured we could do something nice for him." >l agree >"that's great, as you know ever since friendanon's mom passed away he's been pretty bummed out so I thought we could make something to remind him of her." >wtfwhybutok.png >agree to help him out because friendanon is my best friend. >mfw his dad asked me to bring a can of tomato sauce >whatthefuck.exe >fast forward to his birthday party >we just hanging out, some friends and family there just talking and congratulating friendanon, pretty cool b'day party >friendanon's dad clears his throat >"ehm so as you all know it's friendanon's birthday today, so for some time I've been thinking what would make anon's birthday memorable for him" >friendanon's dad takes out a plate with pasta and red sauce, puts it on the table and puts on a gentle smile. >friendanon tastes it and begins to cry >turns out it was his mother's special recipe. >anon gets so excited and emotional he throws up >he's all shaking >his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy >there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
>be 14 >have a best friend >plays vidya, talk girls, a genuinely good friend. >about a month ago his mom passed away >terminal cancer, horrible thing >a week before his birthday his dad 50 KB JPG reached out to me >confusion.jpeg >"hey anon, it's friendanon's dad, I know you too are pretty close and next week is his birthday, figured we could do something nice for him." >l agree >"that's great, as you know ever since friendanon's mom passed away he's been pretty bummed out so I thought we could make something to remind him of her." >wtfwhybutok.png >agree to help him out because friendanon is my best friend. >mfw his dad asked me to bring a can of tomato sauce >whatthefuck.exe >fast forward to his birthday party >we just hanging out, some friends and family there just talking and congratulating friendanon, pretty cool b'day party >friendanon's dad clears his throat >"ehm so as you all know it's friendanon's birthday today, so for some time I've been thinking what would make anon's birthday memorable for him" >friendanon's dad takes out a plate with pasta and red sauce, puts it on the table and puts on a gentle smile. >friendanon tastes it and begins to cry >turns out it was his mother's special recipe. >anon gets so excited and emotional he throws up >he's all shaking >his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy >there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti

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Long train a comin’ | /r/Greentext

File: fuuuck.jpg (95 KB, 861x889) Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)06:45:57 No.64393420 [Reply] >>64393436 >be me >NEET shut in >never leave my house >see threads on r9k talking about nightwalks over the years >everyone talking about how relaxing it is >decide to do it one night >go out at 1am >walking for about 30 minutes >see a group of like 5 guys ahead >they all stare at me as i walk past >someone grabs my shoulder from behind just as i passed them >turn around >they are all facing me >"you just bumped into me" >they start circling me like sharks >"no i didn't" >he gets up in my face >"give me your money and say sorry to me" >getting pretty nervous at this point >adrenaline running through me >"i don't have any money, i'm not saying sorry for something i didn't do" >suddenly i fall to the ground >the guy behind me must of hit me >try to get up but they are kicking me everywhere and shouting insults >sometime later they all run away while laughing >struggle to get to my feet for a little bit >start walking back home >start puking on the street a couple times on my way back >stagger inside and lay on my bed just my luck
File: fuuuck.jpg (95 KB, 861x889) Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)06:45:57 No.64393420 [Reply] >>64393436 >be me >NEET shut in >never leave my house >see threads on r9k talking about nightwalks over the years >everyone talking about how relaxing it is >decide to do it one night >go out at 1am >walking for about 30 minutes >see a group of like 5 guys ahead >they all stare at me as i walk past >someone grabs my shoulder from behind just as i passed them >turn around >they are all facing me >"you just bumped into me" >they start circling me like sharks >"no i didn't" >he gets up in my face >"give me your money and say sorry to me" >getting pretty nervous at this point >adrenaline running through me >"i don't have any money, i'm not saying sorry for something i didn't do" >suddenly i fall to the ground >the guy behind me must of hit me >try to get up but they are kicking me everywhere and shouting insults >sometime later they all run away while laughing >struggle to get to my feet for a little bit >start walking back home >start puking on the street a couple times on my way back >stagger inside and lay on my bed just my luck

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Anon witnesses acceptance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)23:36:13 No.778863070 >>778860941 (OP) # >be me in high school a few years back >go to rich libtard public school where everyone is afraid of being 39 KB JPG called a racist >be in world history teacher having us do busy work while she's on computer >nigs behind me talking one of them uses the word f----- >teacher flips here s--- and goes on a ten minute rant about gay oppression even though she is white and straight >ends the tirade by getting the group of nigs to go to her desk >the whole class can still hear her >she asks how the nigs would feel if she calls them a slur >they look around confused >then she says what's up my n----- >the whole class loses it >even all the nigs are dying Mfw
: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)23:36:13 No.778863070 >>778860941 (OP) # >be me in high school a few years back >go to rich libtard public school where everyone is afraid of being 39 KB JPG called a racist >be in world history teacher having us do busy work while she's on computer >nigs behind me talking one of them uses the word f----- >teacher flips here s--- and goes on a ten minute rant about gay oppression even though she is white and straight >ends the tirade by getting the group of nigs to go to her desk >the whole class can still hear her >she asks how the nigs would feel if she calls them a slur >they look around confused >then she says what's up my n----- >the whole class loses it >even all the nigs are dying Mfw

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Anon likes July | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)11:59:44 No.858123155 >great day >get ready for work >its july 1st >f------ no more 35 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 07/01/21(Thu)11:59:44 No.858123155 >great day >get ready for work >its july 1st >f------ no more 35 KB JPG View Thread

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