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Anon is dating a co-worker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 291 KB PNG 12/20/22(Tue)12:09:40 No.71473733 >date a co-worker for a month >she breaks up with me >starts telling people at work how small my d--- is see everyone later
Anonymous 291 KB PNG 12/20/22(Tue)12:09:40 No.71473733 >date a co-worker for a month >she breaks up with me >starts telling people at work how small my d--- is see everyone later

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Black anon likes white women | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/19/22(Mon)21:22:07 No.891059732 >>891057842 >See beautiful white woman walking down the street opposite of me at night >Grab her and start pleasing her with my 12 inch BBC >She's screaming (obviously in ecstasy) >Tells me to stop (must be her white racist programming, not used to receiving such amazing orgasms) >For some reason cop cars show up >Jealous of my women pleasuring prowess >They're p----- that they have 1 inch micrococks (typical of white people especially pigs) >8 of the white knight f------ wrestle me to the ground >Tell me that I'm going to prison (because apparently sex is illegal) >Attempt to diffuse the situation by changing the subject to a common interest (They like guns, I like guns) >Show them my gun >The racist assholes think I'm trying to illegally use my weapon like some kind of criminal >They shoot me 4 times in the chest and kill me >I die, but at least my family will receive a million dollars through GoFundMe for my funeral and I'll get a mostly peaceful protest named after me to make a statement against the vast injustice of the system Every f------ time
Anonymous 12/19/22(Mon)21:22:07 No.891059732 >>891057842 >See beautiful white woman walking down the street opposite of me at night >Grab her and start pleasing her with my 12 inch BBC >She's screaming (obviously in ecstasy) >Tells me to stop (must be her white racist programming, not used to receiving such amazing orgasms) >For some reason cop cars show up >Jealous of my women pleasuring prowess >They're p----- that they have 1 inch micrococks (typical of white people especially pigs) >8 of the white knight f------ wrestle me to the ground >Tell me that I'm going to prison (because apparently sex is illegal) >Attempt to diffuse the situation by changing the subject to a common interest (They like guns, I like guns) >Show them my gun >The racist assholes think I'm trying to illegally use my weapon like some kind of criminal >They shoot me 4 times in the chest and kill me >I die, but at least my family will receive a million dollars through GoFundMe for my funeral and I'll get a mostly peaceful protest named after me to make a statement against the vast injustice of the system Every f------ time

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Anon studies M&Ms | /r/Greentext

>>24184590 Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
>>24184590 Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

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Anon visits a Minecraft city | /r/Greentext

Is this a f------ joke Anonymous 12/20/22(Tue)05:23:36 > chilling on Minecraft > visiting a random city map I downloaded > pretty massive work, they built the interior etc > inside a gym > I find a sign with written on it : "transgender bathroom" > instantly quit the game > day ruined
Is this a f------ joke Anonymous 12/20/22(Tue)05:23:36 > chilling on Minecraft > visiting a random city map I downloaded > pretty massive work, they built the interior etc > inside a gym > I find a sign with written on it : "transgender bathroom" > instantly quit the game > day ruined

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Anon had a change of heart | /r/Greentext

10:56 YB. : Anonymous 12/20/22(Tue)10:33:21 No.178108138 >>178106421 (OP) # >be me 28 >get scorpion jacket for christmas from mom >high school bully that tormented me every day still on my mind >show up to his house, jacket on, hammer in hand >his son answers the door "dad there's some guy here for you" >his wife opens up the door all the way, inside is a huge family all getting along >my high school bully looks at me "oh, is that you anon?" >he comes to see me, asks me how I'm doing >I just say "I drive" >he gives me $20 for the "charity drive", pats me on the back saying sorry for giving me a hard time in high school and closes the door >look at his family through their window in my 1999 accord across the street and smoke a c-------- but don't know how so it hurts my throat >buy a bag of mcchickens on my way home and stain my new jacket since I ordered them all with extra sauce packets
10:56 YB. : Anonymous 12/20/22(Tue)10:33:21 No.178108138 >>178106421 (OP) # >be me 28 >get scorpion jacket for christmas from mom >high school bully that tormented me every day still on my mind >show up to his house, jacket on, hammer in hand >his son answers the door "dad there's some guy here for you" >his wife opens up the door all the way, inside is a huge family all getting along >my high school bully looks at me "oh, is that you anon?" >he comes to see me, asks me how I'm doing >I just say "I drive" >he gives me $20 for the "charity drive", pats me on the back saying sorry for giving me a hard time in high school and closes the door >look at his family through their window in my 1999 accord across the street and smoke a c-------- but don't know how so it hurts my throat >buy a bag of mcchickens on my way home and stain my new jacket since I ordered them all with extra sauce packets

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Anon can't controls his lust | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 555 KB JPG 12/20/22(Tue)09:54:51 No.891069093 >>891070930 >be me just wasted 70 dollars on a onlyfans account and busted a nut, then immediately canceled it because of how stupid i felt. Why the f--- cant i control my lust?
Anonymous 555 KB JPG 12/20/22(Tue)09:54:51 No.891069093 >>891070930 >be me just wasted 70 dollars on a onlyfans account and busted a nut, then immediately canceled it because of how stupid i felt. Why the f--- cant i control my lust?

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Anons philosophy is misunderstood | /r/Greentext

>be nietzsche >recognize early in life that nihilism is going to be the bane of human existence >work desperately to show that there can be a pursuit of meaning in spite of the collapse of religion >write yourself into a philosophy-induced nervous breakdown trying to show that we can overcome nihilism by pursuing passion, art, self-ownership and struggle >100+ years later teenagers think that you are a nihilist and claim to use your philosophy to justify hedonistic meaningless living
>be nietzsche >recognize early in life that nihilism is going to be the bane of human existence >work desperately to show that there can be a pursuit of meaning in spite of the collapse of religion >write yourself into a philosophy-induced nervous breakdown trying to show that we can overcome nihilism by pursuing passion, art, self-ownership and struggle >100+ years later teenagers think that you are a nihilist and claim to use your philosophy to justify hedonistic meaningless living

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Anon is beaten by the past | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/20/22 (Tue)00:22:59 No.71471153 >>71471054 # >be me >about 3 years old >mommy gives me a fun new stuffed animal >has very loose legs and arms but a lot of 650 KB JPG stuffing in the head, cute teddy bear >be 3 year old demon child, so used it for whatever i could find >throw it against the wall, choked it, stuck its head in the ceiling fan, even take a knife one day and act like i'm cutting off it's balls >good stress relief >call it "beat up bear" >grow up, it's now collecting dust >new gf goes through and sees it >i tell her about it and instantly she falls in love with it >she's always excited to cuddle with it when she came to my house >eventually chritmas comes >haven't been dating for long, decided to give it to her >she's so happy >relationship goes on for a year >whole time she always cuddles with it every night, see it on discord calls >she gets tired of calling it "beat up bear" so she renames him to "bubs" as an acronym, plus it's a cute name >she moves to college >calls me on instagram after not video calling for a week >breaks up with me >can still see him in the background, still being used when i was gone I really wonder if he still uses him. I hope so for some strange reason, but i want him back kinda. he was integral to my chidhood
Anonymous 12/20/22 (Tue)00:22:59 No.71471153 >>71471054 # >be me >about 3 years old >mommy gives me a fun new stuffed animal >has very loose legs and arms but a lot of 650 KB JPG stuffing in the head, cute teddy bear >be 3 year old demon child, so used it for whatever i could find >throw it against the wall, choked it, stuck its head in the ceiling fan, even take a knife one day and act like i'm cutting off it's balls >good stress relief >call it "beat up bear" >grow up, it's now collecting dust >new gf goes through and sees it >i tell her about it and instantly she falls in love with it >she's always excited to cuddle with it when she came to my house >eventually chritmas comes >haven't been dating for long, decided to give it to her >she's so happy >relationship goes on for a year >whole time she always cuddles with it every night, see it on discord calls >she gets tired of calling it "beat up bear" so she renames him to "bubs" as an acronym, plus it's a cute name >she moves to college >calls me on instagram after not video calling for a week >breaks up with me >can still see him in the background, still being used when i was gone I really wonder if he still uses him. I hope so for some strange reason, but i want him back kinda. he was integral to my chidhood

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Anon has a brilliant plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Tell me if this is a bad idea. 27 KB JPG 12/19/22(Mon)18:41:15 No.175253672 I will build a small makeshift raft. It has to be DIY so I wouldn't need to have it registered. I will then take a woman, any woman, willingly on a boat trip. We will sail to the open seas. Beyond the maritime jurisdiction of any country I will then r--- her. So, is that a crime? It shouldn't be, right? We are beyond the jurisdiction of any governing body. I heard you are still subject to the laws of whatever country your vessel is registered at. Which is why it's important I make a DIY boat. : Anonymous I don't want to kill her. I just want to shame someone with legal r--- and get away with it. 12/19/22(Mon)19:41:46 No.175255411 >>175253672 (OP) # >Hey babe wanna come on this s----- DIYOLO raft with me to international waters for undisclosed reasons Totally gonna work
: Anonymous Tell me if this is a bad idea. 27 KB JPG 12/19/22(Mon)18:41:15 No.175253672 I will build a small makeshift raft. It has to be DIY so I wouldn't need to have it registered. I will then take a woman, any woman, willingly on a boat trip. We will sail to the open seas. Beyond the maritime jurisdiction of any country I will then r--- her. So, is that a crime? It shouldn't be, right? We are beyond the jurisdiction of any governing body. I heard you are still subject to the laws of whatever country your vessel is registered at. Which is why it's important I make a DIY boat. : Anonymous I don't want to kill her. I just want to shame someone with legal r--- and get away with it. 12/19/22(Mon)19:41:46 No.175255411 >>175253672 (OP) # >Hey babe wanna come on this s----- DIYOLO raft with me to international waters for undisclosed reasons Totally gonna work

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Anon uses discord | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Discord and Online Communities 62 KB PNG 12/20/22(Tue)06:16:10 No.71471090 >join Discord server >mod disrespects me multiple times >tell him to go f--- himself and to get leg extensions >get muted >join Discord dating server >talk to girl >orbiter messages me >'that's MY girl' >banned >join Discord server >talk to someone in DMs >they leak our entire conversation for lols and cred in their server >delete Discord Why does everyone on this program seem to be such a f------ d---?
: Anonymous Discord and Online Communities 62 KB PNG 12/20/22(Tue)06:16:10 No.71471090 >join Discord server >mod disrespects me multiple times >tell him to go f--- himself and to get leg extensions >get muted >join Discord dating server >talk to girl >orbiter messages me >'that's MY girl' >banned >join Discord server >talk to someone in DMs >they leak our entire conversation for lols and cred in their server >delete Discord Why does everyone on this program seem to be such a f------ d---?

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anon is retarded | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 100 KB JPG 06/17/15(Wed)13:45:14 No.622330744 Retarded stories thread >be me >be in first grade >taking test >teacher tells us if we can't do problem, put a smile face >middle of test >look up at teacher >smile as hard as I can >hold smile for a solid 2 mins >mfw placed into special Ed next week
Anonymous 100 KB JPG 06/17/15(Wed)13:45:14 No.622330744 Retarded stories thread >be me >be in first grade >taking test >teacher tells us if we can't do problem, put a smile face >middle of test >look up at teacher >smile as hard as I can >hold smile for a solid 2 mins >mfw placed into special Ed next week

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Anon talks about his gay sub thoughts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 12/14/22(Wed) 20:53:51 No.71394871 >have gay submissive thoughts >think its p--- rotting my brain, decide to stop with it >2 months p--- free >now have extreme gay submissive thoughts without p--- I think i just might be gay after all
: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 12/14/22(Wed) 20:53:51 No.71394871 >have gay submissive thoughts >think its p--- rotting my brain, decide to stop with it >2 months p--- free >now have extreme gay submissive thoughts without p--- I think i just might be gay after all

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Anon's getting an offer he can't refuse. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 202 KB JPG 12/20/22(Tue)06:39:24 No.71471333 > be me > watching The Godfather for the first time. > During the part they speak italian, all the subtitles say is " [speaking italian]". > Half the film is in Italian.
: Anonymous 202 KB JPG 12/20/22(Tue)06:39:24 No.71471333 > be me > watching The Godfather for the first time. > During the part they speak italian, all the subtitles say is " [speaking italian]". > Half the film is in Italian.

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Average Mobik | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/19/22(Mon)20:19:50 No.891056926 Медик + 10 6C9CA9DF-9DB0-4234-980B-01A00C50FD04.png 721 KB PNG >You're a russian mobik. >You do frontal attacks in close formation marches. >The smallest unit that can flank the enemy is a battalion. >The only thing that keeps your morale up is the band marching with you. >You wear a dead comrades uniform and your company's machine gun has wheels on it. Life is good.
: Anonymous 12/19/22(Mon)20:19:50 No.891056926 Медик + 10 6C9CA9DF-9DB0-4234-980B-01A00C50FD04.png 721 KB PNG >You're a russian mobik. >You do frontal attacks in close formation marches. >The smallest unit that can flank the enemy is a battalion. >The only thing that keeps your morale up is the band marching with you. >You wear a dead comrades uniform and your company's machine gun has wheels on it. Life is good.

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21 is literally a flipped 12 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous GAM QUER 145 KB JPG 08/17/21(Tue)21:24:29 No.65026511 >2012 >Much of the population was in absolute shock/traumatized over Miley Cyrus being nude, riding a wrecking ball - everyone from boomers to even millenials over the indecency and vapidity. >2021 >BDSM, DDLG, lolicon, yiff and e-thots objectifying their feet while dressed as catgirl loli maids are all shoved in our faces, everyone is bragging about rimming/eating ass - and the majority of people are either left unphased or consider it to be 'le feminist empowerment' what happened
: Anonymous GAM QUER 145 KB JPG 08/17/21(Tue)21:24:29 No.65026511 >2012 >Much of the population was in absolute shock/traumatized over Miley Cyrus being nude, riding a wrecking ball - everyone from boomers to even millenials over the indecency and vapidity. >2021 >BDSM, DDLG, lolicon, yiff and e-thots objectifying their feet while dressed as catgirl loli maids are all shoved in our faces, everyone is bragging about rimming/eating ass - and the majority of people are either left unphased or consider it to be 'le feminist empowerment' what happened

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anon's new hoodie | /r/Greentext

204 KB PNG >be me in high school >Going to PE class >Wearing one of those blanket hoodies that you get off Amazon, they make you f------ warm >Guys in class making fun of me for leaving it on >We have to run the mile, it's the middle of winter >Everyone is freezing f------ cold >I'm not cold at all thanks to my blanket hoodie I will not be bullied for wearing the blanket hoodie, thank you blanket hoodie
204 KB PNG >be me in high school >Going to PE class >Wearing one of those blanket hoodies that you get off Amazon, they make you f------ warm >Guys in class making fun of me for leaving it on >We have to run the mile, it's the middle of winter >Everyone is freezing f------ cold >I'm not cold at all thanks to my blanket hoodie I will not be bullied for wearing the blanket hoodie, thank you blanket hoodie

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