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When you have zero class | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)22:27:50 No.847249876 Hey 10:22 PM Going to a funeral tomorrow 10:23 PM Want to know if they read your message? Yes! Well maybe you can use some good f------ 10:23 PM I'm literally going to a funeral for a family member who f------ died dude Delivered 10:23 PM F43F4COF-793E-4268-913C-61C05A04C716.png 97 KB PNG >be me >text a dude >he says he's going to a funeral tomorrow >amazingidea.jpg >ask him to f--- >get mad when he gets upset by this Jfc have some f------ class
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)22:27:50 No.847249876 Hey 10:22 PM Going to a funeral tomorrow 10:23 PM Want to know if they read your message? Yes! Well maybe you can use some good f------ 10:23 PM I'm literally going to a funeral for a family member who f------ died dude Delivered 10:23 PM F43F4COF-793E-4268-913C-61C05A04C716.png 97 KB PNG >be me >text a dude >he says he's going to a funeral tomorrow >amazingidea.jpg >ask him to f--- >get mad when he gets upset by this Jfc have some f------ class

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Anon wants cute gf | /r/Greentext

Oa90087c9190c1e4129fc3e0d(...).jpg (75 KB, 750x750) google yandex iqdb wait O Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)10:46:54 No.62306851 [9] [Reply] v >>62306871 >>62306886 how do i get a cute deaf gf? Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)10:47:10 No.62306852 v >>62306903 Yell out for her.
Oa90087c9190c1e4129fc3e0d(...).jpg (75 KB, 750x750) google yandex iqdb wait O Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)10:46:54 No.62306851 [9] [Reply] v >>62306871 >>62306886 how do i get a cute deaf gf? Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)10:47:10 No.62306852 v >>62306903 Yell out for her.

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anon is ant | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)17:33:10 No.3685245 [Reply] >be ant >one of the worlds strongest animals in relation to size >found on literally every continent besides antarctica >fire ants cause billions in damages >invasive ant species decimate ecosystems >have existed since the dinosaurs >literally defeated by an autistic kid with a hunger for ants why?
O Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)17:33:10 No.3685245 [Reply] >be ant >one of the worlds strongest animals in relation to size >found on literally every continent besides antarctica >fire ants cause billions in damages >invasive ant species decimate ecosystems >have existed since the dinosaurs >literally defeated by an autistic kid with a hunger for ants why?

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JapAnon experiences another earthquake | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: MdP//3CL 02/13/21(Sat)15:23:39 No.307916469 >>307916619 Lmao I was jerking my d--- as the earthquake hit and it was like Mother Nature herself was tossing me off.
Anonymous (ID: MdP//3CL 02/13/21(Sat)15:23:39 No.307916469 >>307916619 Lmao I was jerking my d--- as the earthquake hit and it was like Mother Nature herself was tossing me off.

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Anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IJNhf8Af ) 02/12/21(Fri)08:43:04 No.28512703 >Covid hits, l'm moved to remote >bosses don't send me any work, start getting nervous thinking they will fire me due to how things are 146 KB JPG >work with anxiety all the time, thinking they have some tracking and if I don't work my ass off I'm f----- >slowly realize that they just don't give a s--- >become a degenerate that masturbates 2/3 of the workday to compensate previous stress >literally COOMING as I talk with my boss on teams >get to the point where l'm switching between the most degenerate hentai on earth and coding like some skrizo on Adderall and Viagra , trusty onahole at my side at all times. >realize that i am more productive than when I was trying to work hard I have ascended. I am the COOMpiler now. What a f------ time to be alive >>28513780 #
: Anonymous (ID: IJNhf8Af ) 02/12/21(Fri)08:43:04 No.28512703 >Covid hits, l'm moved to remote >bosses don't send me any work, start getting nervous thinking they will fire me due to how things are 146 KB JPG >work with anxiety all the time, thinking they have some tracking and if I don't work my ass off I'm f----- >slowly realize that they just don't give a s--- >become a degenerate that masturbates 2/3 of the workday to compensate previous stress >literally COOMING as I talk with my boss on teams >get to the point where l'm switching between the most degenerate hentai on earth and coding like some skrizo on Adderall and Viagra , trusty onahole at my side at all times. >realize that i am more productive than when I was trying to work hard I have ascended. I am the COOMpiler now. What a f------ time to be alive >>28513780 #

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Anon has a wonderful day | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 02/13/21(Sat)14:54:09 No.139485569 >wake up >still not Turkish Another wonderful day 7 KB PNG
: Anonymous E 02/13/21(Sat)14:54:09 No.139485569 >wake up >still not Turkish Another wonderful day 7 KB PNG

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Anon cheats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:38:56 No.543918975 >sit down to watch my boyfriend play >its a dark souls like type game >he dies >he activates a god mode one hit 230 KB JPG kill cheat i'm dating a little bitch and i hate it
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)10:38:56 No.543918975 >sit down to watch my boyfriend play >its a dark souls like type game >he dies >he activates a god mode one hit 230 KB JPG kill cheat i'm dating a little bitch and i hate it

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Check 'em... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)07:01:29 No.847273469 >be me >have female friend >sometimes j------- to her social media posts >got nice legs >after a bit of time we separate and we don't speak for a bit 177 KB PNG >we then reconnect and speak again >think "f--- it ill try n jerk it again" >go on her social media >she got chubby >like her chin merged with her neck >get turned off by the mere sight of her >never jerked to her again We still talk but i don't have the crush i used to have for her. Shame cos her legs are still good but can't be distracted from the face :/ Pic unrelated
: Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)07:01:29 No.847273469 >be me >have female friend >sometimes j------- to her social media posts >got nice legs >after a bit of time we separate and we don't speak for a bit 177 KB PNG >we then reconnect and speak again >think "f--- it ill try n jerk it again" >go on her social media >she got chubby >like her chin merged with her neck >get turned off by the mere sight of her >never jerked to her again We still talk but i don't have the crush i used to have for her. Shame cos her legs are still good but can't be distracted from the face :/ Pic unrelated

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Anon has spray bottles | /r/Greentext

>Be me >F------ around during zoom class >Have a spray bottle for water >Have a spray bottle for rubbing alcohol >Start making mist clouds >Decide to make one big cloud with both bottles 18 KB JPG >Forget that cloud is made of alcohol >Walk through cloud and get rubbing alcohol in my eyes and nose >l'm retarded
>Be me >F------ around during zoom class >Have a spray bottle for water >Have a spray bottle for rubbing alcohol >Start making mist clouds >Decide to make one big cloud with both bottles 18 KB JPG >Forget that cloud is made of alcohol >Walk through cloud and get rubbing alcohol in my eyes and nose >l'm retarded

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Anon likes water | /r/Greentext

Anonymous| 797353674 > be me > be me at 2am >i need water > drink water thanks water O REPLIES O IMAGES
Anonymous| 797353674 > be me > be me at 2am >i need water > drink water thanks water O REPLIES O IMAGES

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Big bon-bons, he's got 'em | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)22:33:48 No.62303575 >be me >at work, s----- food job in college town >eatting handfuls of chocolates in the freezer >coworker comes up behind me >"SEX DUNGEON, ANON'S IN MY 305 KB PNG SEX DUNGEON." > what did he mean by this
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)22:33:48 No.62303575 >be me >at work, s----- food job in college town >eatting handfuls of chocolates in the freezer >coworker comes up behind me >"SEX DUNGEON, ANON'S IN MY 305 KB PNG SEX DUNGEON." > what did he mean by this

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Anon's gf cheats on him | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me >decide to make a fake 36 KB JPG account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me
: Anonymous 12/21/18(Fri)14:51:38 No.787850675 >be me 16 >have a gf of two years >always have been self conscious of her cheating on me >decide to make a fake 36 KB JPG account and hit her up on snapchat >she doesn't suspect a thing >eventually convince to trade nudes >she loves it and sends pics of her ass/t--- >she tells me about how she would go behind her boyfriends back and f--- me whenever she could >still going on >i don't know if i should tell her or keep going >tfw my gf is cheating on me with me

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anon is an alien | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)06:16:58 No.27640111 >be me >flying through the galaxy with my boys >running low on fuel crystals and I really have to piss >we make a pit stop on this decent looking planet, hopefully the beings 126 KB JPG there can help us >we land in a forest and make our way to the closest structure >the beings inside it see us, but they freak the f--- out, like they've never seen someone from another planet before >they shoot at us with pieces of metal >stings a little bit >realize they're crazy, run back innawoods >one of my boys finds the crystals we need in a cave anyway >Nope out of that s------- and never come back
: Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)06:16:58 No.27640111 >be me >flying through the galaxy with my boys >running low on fuel crystals and I really have to piss >we make a pit stop on this decent looking planet, hopefully the beings 126 KB JPG there can help us >we land in a forest and make our way to the closest structure >the beings inside it see us, but they freak the f--- out, like they've never seen someone from another planet before >they shoot at us with pieces of metal >stings a little bit >realize they're crazy, run back innawoods >one of my boys finds the crystals we need in a cave anyway >Nope out of that s------- and never come back

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Anon tries to get an abortion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)20:10:24 No.782820861 >Be me >17 fem >Try to get abotion >Start to hear whispers in my ear >Look behind me >Needle goes into my throat and I get knocked out 7 KB JPG >Wake up >Im tied to a chair >Look around >See Ben Shapiro >Pulls bat out >Hits me so hard I cant move >Takes the baby out, no painkiller >Says "Libtard, I will raise this baby" >Bleed and die in the middle of nowhere >All I see is ben sapiro chant a magic spell, and the baby grows into a clone of Ben Shapiro >I die a few minutes later
: Anonymous 10/20/18(Sat)20:10:24 No.782820861 >Be me >17 fem >Try to get abotion >Start to hear whispers in my ear >Look behind me >Needle goes into my throat and I get knocked out 7 KB JPG >Wake up >Im tied to a chair >Look around >See Ben Shapiro >Pulls bat out >Hits me so hard I cant move >Takes the baby out, no painkiller >Says "Libtard, I will raise this baby" >Bleed and die in the middle of nowhere >All I see is ben sapiro chant a magic spell, and the baby grows into a clone of Ben Shapiro >I die a few minutes later

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Anon gets a haircut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Haircut more like gaycut haha 08/15/18(Wed)15:05:05 No.47522915 >yesterday >haircut time cuz never bothered getting one during summer >like it long in front to the point where it reaches my mouth >go sit down and get weird cape thing put 12 KB JPG on >"uuhhh. Idk, probably half an inch off the back and trim the sides so it doesnt stick out so far" >2 seconds later this bitch for real whips out a f------ electric razor >proceeds to shave pretty much my entire f------ head to where my hair feels like sheep hair >everywhere but front, then cuts half of the front off. Doesnt even reach my nose > thins everything out, even though i like it frizzy >too shy to say anything >asks if its short enough >SHORT ENOUGH? I OUGHTTA F------ STAB YOUR EYES IF YOU THINK THATS LONG >"yeah it fine" >f------ mortified from what just happened >pay and act likes nothing wrong >scream in car for like 15min cuz its so f------ bad i legit feel disgust when i lool in mirror >even has s--- outline on sides from where long hair meets the short hair >too p----- to eat my jimmy johns >plus school tomorrow >f--- man, f--- haircuts : Anonymous 08/15/18(Wed)15:07:28 No.47522950 these shy n----- are never r---- because if someone tells they're gonna f--- their pooper they're like >uuhhhh. Idk. just be gentle
: Anonymous Haircut more like gaycut haha 08/15/18(Wed)15:05:05 No.47522915 >yesterday >haircut time cuz never bothered getting one during summer >like it long in front to the point where it reaches my mouth >go sit down and get weird cape thing put 12 KB JPG on >"uuhhh. Idk, probably half an inch off the back and trim the sides so it doesnt stick out so far" >2 seconds later this bitch for real whips out a f------ electric razor >proceeds to shave pretty much my entire f------ head to where my hair feels like sheep hair >everywhere but front, then cuts half of the front off. Doesnt even reach my nose > thins everything out, even though i like it frizzy >too shy to say anything >asks if its short enough >SHORT ENOUGH? I OUGHTTA F------ STAB YOUR EYES IF YOU THINK THATS LONG >"yeah it fine" >f------ mortified from what just happened >pay and act likes nothing wrong >scream in car for like 15min cuz its so f------ bad i legit feel disgust when i lool in mirror >even has s--- outline on sides from where long hair meets the short hair >too p----- to eat my jimmy johns >plus school tomorrow >f--- man, f--- haircuts : Anonymous 08/15/18(Wed)15:07:28 No.47522950 these shy n----- are never r---- because if someone tells they're gonna f--- their pooper they're like >uuhhhh. Idk. just be gentle

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Anon is alone | /r/Greentext

> be me > living alone > can hear heavy breathing > can hear someone jerking off > just the two of us by grover Washington starts playing > can hear footsteps coming closer 500 KB JPG > oh f--- oh s--- : Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)14:22:44 No.847274257 I'm in your house, OF
> be me > living alone > can hear heavy breathing > can hear someone jerking off > just the two of us by grover Washington starts playing > can hear footsteps coming closer 500 KB JPG > oh f--- oh s--- : Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)14:22:44 No.847274257 I'm in your house, OF

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Anon is a doctor with a kick ass mask | /r/Greentext

>Be me rich doctor with kick-ass mask >Be walking to cathedral to show peasant f--- my expertise >Strolling down the street smacking peasants with my awesome doctor beating stick 31 KB JPG >Lifeisgood.tapestry >Finally arrive at cathedral >Everyone excited I, the very talented doctor, am here >I stroll up to the podium >"What is it that ails you lowly creatures?" I ask in my scary doctor voice >Lady peasant raises her hand >"Ah, yes you! What ails thee repulsive serf creature?" >"My throat m'lord... it hurts whenever I swallow" >"Ah yes! I know exactly what ails thee" >Have no f------ idea what the problem is >Timetofuckingwingit.lutesuite >Have her come to the front of the room >Nervously stall for time as I search my sweet new doctor bag >Settle on knife >Tell stupid peasant bitch that her throat has too much blood in it and it needs to be drained >The audience is loving this s--- >Lay her down on table >"Behold!" >Slice neck open >Ohshit.parchment >Blood spurts across the table >Stupid w---- is squirming and bleeding everywhere >Finally stops moving and bleeding >I turn around and bow >F------ nailed it >They ask if she's dead >I call them addlepated fools and explain she's simply relaxed and will awaken within the hour >Audience nods in approval >Get paid sweet medieval bitcoin >Gtfo as quick as possible >Can't come back to this town >Buy even pointier doctor stick >l am a doctor
>Be me rich doctor with kick-ass mask >Be walking to cathedral to show peasant f--- my expertise >Strolling down the street smacking peasants with my awesome doctor beating stick 31 KB JPG >Lifeisgood.tapestry >Finally arrive at cathedral >Everyone excited I, the very talented doctor, am here >I stroll up to the podium >"What is it that ails you lowly creatures?" I ask in my scary doctor voice >Lady peasant raises her hand >"Ah, yes you! What ails thee repulsive serf creature?" >"My throat m'lord... it hurts whenever I swallow" >"Ah yes! I know exactly what ails thee" >Have no f------ idea what the problem is >Timetofuckingwingit.lutesuite >Have her come to the front of the room >Nervously stall for time as I search my sweet new doctor bag >Settle on knife >Tell stupid peasant bitch that her throat has too much blood in it and it needs to be drained >The audience is loving this s--- >Lay her down on table >"Behold!" >Slice neck open >Ohshit.parchment >Blood spurts across the table >Stupid w---- is squirming and bleeding everywhere >Finally stops moving and bleeding >I turn around and bow >F------ nailed it >They ask if she's dead >I call them addlepated fools and explain she's simply relaxed and will awaken within the hour >Audience nods in approval >Get paid sweet medieval bitcoin >Gtfo as quick as possible >Can't come back to this town >Buy even pointier doctor stick >l am a doctor

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anon gets doxed on 2b2t | /r/Greentext

File: mqdefault jpg (13 KB, 320x180) O Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)11:42:37 No.847270142 >be me >play on 2b2t > get doxxed cause your minecraft name is your real name >sad
File: mqdefault jpg (13 KB, 320x180) O Anonymous 02/13/21(Sat)11:42:37 No.847270142 >be me >play on 2b2t > get doxxed cause your minecraft name is your real name >sad

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Anon goes to the movies | /r/Greentext

File: 1534731206408 jpg (20 KB, 306x306) Anonymous 05/13/19(Mon)22:33:56 No.114721440 >>114721574 >>114721787 >>114721802 >>114721857 >>114722035 >>114722125 >>114722154 >>114723089 >>114723516 >>114724732 >walk into movie theater lobby >about to buy tickets to movie >ask cashier if the movie is reddit or not >she doesn't understand >explain the differences between 4chan and reddit culture >she still doesn't get it >pull the printed memes out of my wallet to show the difference >she laughs and says it's fine >watch movie >it's reddit
File: 1534731206408 jpg (20 KB, 306x306) Anonymous 05/13/19(Mon)22:33:56 No.114721440 >>114721574 >>114721787 >>114721802 >>114721857 >>114722035 >>114722125 >>114722154 >>114723089 >>114723516 >>114724732 >walk into movie theater lobby >about to buy tickets to movie >ask cashier if the movie is reddit or not >she doesn't understand >explain the differences between 4chan and reddit culture >she still doesn't get it >pull the printed memes out of my wallet to show the difference >she laughs and says it's fine >watch movie >it's reddit

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Anon is doin ya mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)21:46:23 No.62303153 >>62302958 # >Dude that was based. Do not regret that for a single moment. I was sad for a bit but after 2 days I just couldn't stop kekking at how retarded that interaction was. 98 KB PNG >>62302976 # green text it >working at high end restaurant as a busser >me and dish washer bro do this thing where he will yell from across the whole back area "HEY ANON II WHATCHA DOIN?!" >I respond by yelling out the doin ya mom song, this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v%3D5t5 3TCKIIMC [Open] >we do it for keks and because it makes the manager so salty that he starts calling us jackass's and such >on this day the girl I had mentioned before was going to ask me out for valentines day or so I had heard from her friends >though she was going to do it after the shift ended >we were really busy that day so everyone was talking and yelling in the back area >dishwasher bro is taking a piss >setting down dishes when I hear >"anon what are you doing for valentines day!" >thought is was him because to many voices to discern who said it so I start shouting the doin ya mom song >get half way through and turn around to see her standing there in awe and all red in the face >She sprints away >hear dish washer bro keking in the distances because he saw the whole thing >yeah im doin ya mom do do ya mom >>62304278 # >>62304315 # >>62304338 #
Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)21:46:23 No.62303153 >>62302958 # >Dude that was based. Do not regret that for a single moment. I was sad for a bit but after 2 days I just couldn't stop kekking at how retarded that interaction was. 98 KB PNG >>62302976 # green text it >working at high end restaurant as a busser >me and dish washer bro do this thing where he will yell from across the whole back area "HEY ANON II WHATCHA DOIN?!" >I respond by yelling out the doin ya mom song, this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v%3D5t5 3TCKIIMC [Open] >we do it for keks and because it makes the manager so salty that he starts calling us jackass's and such >on this day the girl I had mentioned before was going to ask me out for valentines day or so I had heard from her friends >though she was going to do it after the shift ended >we were really busy that day so everyone was talking and yelling in the back area >dishwasher bro is taking a piss >setting down dishes when I hear >"anon what are you doing for valentines day!" >thought is was him because to many voices to discern who said it so I start shouting the doin ya mom song >get half way through and turn around to see her standing there in awe and all red in the face >She sprints away >hear dish washer bro keking in the distances because he saw the whole thing >yeah im doin ya mom do do ya mom >>62304278 # >>62304315 # >>62304338 #

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