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Anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext

>be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i don't get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other 29 KB JPG weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive >thanks dad
>be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i don't get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other 29 KB JPG weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive >thanks dad

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Anon is thankful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/23/19(Mon)08:56:21 No.816839866 > be me, middle class worker > suddenly have f------ bad cough > I can't stand still because my legs are shaking and I have a huge fever > call the doc 37 KB JPG > have a few days off, so i can rest and comme back to work when I'm in shape > none of my coworkers will get sick >i am not going bankrupt for seeing a doc and a box of medicine > totally stress free while I am recovering I am so glad I am not american 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 12/23/19(Mon)08:56:21 No.816839866 > be me, middle class worker > suddenly have f------ bad cough > I can't stand still because my legs are shaking and I have a huge fever > call the doc 37 KB JPG > have a few days off, so i can rest and comme back to work when I'm in shape > none of my coworkers will get sick >i am not going bankrupt for seeing a doc and a box of medicine > totally stress free while I am recovering I am so glad I am not american 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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anon invents science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)10:00:24 No.847184061 >Wear black outside sunny day, get White light White light reflected warm because the color black absorbs light >Black absorbs the light/warmth from the sun >Places where black people have inhabited for thousands of years are White surface White light No light reflected Black surface 204 KB PNG deserts. >Black people causes global warming due to them being black and absorbing the suns rays. >The increase in black people is slowly killing our planet. >BLACK PEOPLE CAUSES GLOBAL WARMING Prove me wrong, you literally can't. Your tiny brainwashed brain will just go "no ur stuped" because you literally can't find any faulty logic with my reasoning. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)12:11:19 No.847189151 >>847184559 # >l fukken love soience
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)10:00:24 No.847184061 >Wear black outside sunny day, get White light White light reflected warm because the color black absorbs light >Black absorbs the light/warmth from the sun >Places where black people have inhabited for thousands of years are White surface White light No light reflected Black surface 204 KB PNG deserts. >Black people causes global warming due to them being black and absorbing the suns rays. >The increase in black people is slowly killing our planet. >BLACK PEOPLE CAUSES GLOBAL WARMING Prove me wrong, you literally can't. Your tiny brainwashed brain will just go "no ur stuped" because you literally can't find any faulty logic with my reasoning. 8 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)12:11:19 No.847189151 >>847184559 # >l fukken love soience

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Anon drug dealer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and feels good broke so decide to sell fake drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to man 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say l'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class
: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)09:08:49 No.777883934 >be me >am 17 >am pretty stupid and feels good broke so decide to sell fake drugs >start filling a few bags with oregano and selling to man 30 KB JPG freshmen >kids actually believe it's weed and buy some >mfw they fake being high and then come back to buy more >one day called up to principals office >there's a cop in there >they ask to search my bag >mfw all they find is oregano >mfw I say l'm making pasta after school and my friend gave me some oregano he grew to use >mfw they can't do anything so they send me back to class

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Anon is an artist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)16:14:29 No.138916267 Oedwih mapcherete _0.jpg 118 KB JPG lol haha
: Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)16:14:29 No.138916267 Oedwih mapcherete _0.jpg 118 KB JPG lol haha

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Anon masturbates | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/19/17(Sun)11:09:09 No.35624375 >be me >feel horny and want to j------- >search up 'm----------- tips for men' Erection in progress >article says to take a deep breath when you're about to climax 485 KB PNG >decide to do this >open up p--- of my waifu >j------- >about to climax >hold my breath instead of taking a deep breath >climax >head starts pounding and i can feel my muscles tensing >throw up on my own j--- >cry myself to sleep Why do I do this to myself?
: Anonymous 03/19/17(Sun)11:09:09 No.35624375 >be me >feel horny and want to j------- >search up 'm----------- tips for men' Erection in progress >article says to take a deep breath when you're about to climax 485 KB PNG >decide to do this >open up p--- of my waifu >j------- >about to climax >hold my breath instead of taking a deep breath >climax >head starts pounding and i can feel my muscles tensing >throw up on my own j--- >cry myself to sleep Why do I do this to myself?

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Anon got pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)19:43:05 No.847150334 >be me >be ordering a pizza >metlovers because I'm a f----- 320 >5-10 mins > Pizza guy comes but it's not a guy >it's a 8/10 girl >super pale and skinny 614 KB JPG >l try and act normal >she looks kinda freaked out >she says it's $44 >l give her the money >she runs >idk frens I think it went well >talked to a hot girl and I got pizza today was pretty awesome
: Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)19:43:05 No.847150334 >be me >be ordering a pizza >metlovers because I'm a f----- 320 >5-10 mins > Pizza guy comes but it's not a guy >it's a 8/10 girl >super pale and skinny 614 KB JPG >l try and act normal >she looks kinda freaked out >she says it's $44 >l give her the money >she runs >idk frens I think it went well >talked to a hot girl and I got pizza today was pretty awesome

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Anon is dumb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)21:14:04 No.842264200 >be me >retard >never done drugs once in my life >friends and family all think I smoke weed every day >boss also thinks I show 27 KB PNG up high to work >nobody believes me when I tell them l'm just f------ stupid >mfw View Thread
: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)21:14:04 No.842264200 >be me >retard >never done drugs once in my life >friends and family all think I smoke weed every day >boss also thinks I show 27 KB PNG up high to work >nobody believes me when I tell them l'm just f------ stupid >mfw View Thread

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Anon has sympathy | /r/Greentext

No.17520010 10 hours ago awoyYdx 460s.jpg JPG 15.5 KİB 460x403 >learning more about islam and the modern middle east >read Osama's writings >begin to feel negative about US intervention and sympathetic towards Islamic terrorists anyone else? 26 replies
No.17520010 10 hours ago awoyYdx 460s.jpg JPG 15.5 KİB 460x403 >learning more about islam and the modern middle east >read Osama's writings >begin to feel negative about US intervention and sympathetic towards Islamic terrorists anyone else? 26 replies

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Anon is respected | /r/Greentext

>be me >drinking vodka and singing old Irish songs with friends >l end up passing out >wake up to my phone stolen and wallet empty >call friends with home phone >"ya hey man sorry about that we 27 KB PNG were playing poker and you lost them to john ill give him a call" >john calls me >"hey anon do you want your s--- back I know you were drunk and all" >get my money and phone back >mfw im a respected part of my friend group
>be me >drinking vodka and singing old Irish songs with friends >l end up passing out >wake up to my phone stolen and wallet empty >call friends with home phone >"ya hey man sorry about that we 27 KB PNG were playing poker and you lost them to john ill give him a call" >john calls me >"hey anon do you want your s--- back I know you were drunk and all" >get my money and phone back >mfw im a respected part of my friend group

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Anons dick is brown | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)15:36:10 No.62292037 >be white european >blue eyes >pale skin >some freckles on body >my d--- is brown like the colour of a mexican 387 KB PNG WHY THE F--- IS MY D--- BROWN AND NOT WHITE, TELL ME WHY WHY WHYYYYYY OH WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK АННННННННННННННННННННННННН ТHIS CANT BE HAPPENING OH NO NO NO000000O
: Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)15:36:10 No.62292037 >be white european >blue eyes >pale skin >some freckles on body >my d--- is brown like the colour of a mexican 387 KB PNG WHY THE F--- IS MY D--- BROWN AND NOT WHITE, TELL ME WHY WHY WHYYYYYY OH WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK АННННННННННННННННННННННННН ТHIS CANT BE HAPPENING OH NO NO NO000000O

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Anon has a big brain moment | /r/Greentext

NEAT 1• #103618555 10/17/18, 5:00 PM >mfw I realize all of Spider-Man's enemies are modeled after the spider's natural predators 9 REPLIES 2 #103618579 10/17/18 5:01 PM >>103618555 OP How is an octopus a natural predator for spiders? 2 REPLIES 3 #103618601 10/17/18 5:02 PM >>103618555 OP Rhino, alien symbiote, electricity, etc.... seems legit. 2 REPLIES 4 #103618607 10/17/18 5:03 PM >>103618555 OP Ah the greatest of the natural predators, yes, the goblin.
NEAT 1• #103618555 10/17/18, 5:00 PM >mfw I realize all of Spider-Man's enemies are modeled after the spider's natural predators 9 REPLIES 2 #103618579 10/17/18 5:01 PM >>103618555 OP How is an octopus a natural predator for spiders? 2 REPLIES 3 #103618601 10/17/18 5:02 PM >>103618555 OP Rhino, alien symbiote, electricity, etc.... seems legit. 2 REPLIES 4 #103618607 10/17/18 5:03 PM >>103618555 OP Ah the greatest of the natural predators, yes, the goblin.

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Muff diving | /r/Greentext

File: 1608851486203.png (47 KB, 500x430) O Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)06:42:56 No.847192813 [Reply] Greentext thread? I'll start >be me in childhood >1st grade or somewhere around that time >getting bullied by a chick so fat, she'd need to take a panoramic picture for a selfie >get kicked in the legs and fall a lot >idea.jpg >she can't kick me to the ground if I'm on the ground from the start >next day >the bitch is at it again >approach her >lay down on the floor >she's incredibly confused >begin kicking from below >kick her in the p---- >critical hit >a groan of pain louder than an actual whale >never bullied by her again >mfw now bullied by everyone else for being autistic
File: 1608851486203.png (47 KB, 500x430) O Anonymous 02/12/21(Fri)06:42:56 No.847192813 [Reply] Greentext thread? I'll start >be me in childhood >1st grade or somewhere around that time >getting bullied by a chick so fat, she'd need to take a panoramic picture for a selfie >get kicked in the legs and fall a lot >idea.jpg >she can't kick me to the ground if I'm on the ground from the start >next day >the bitch is at it again >approach her >lay down on the floor >she's incredibly confused >begin kicking from below >kick her in the p---- >critical hit >a groan of pain louder than an actual whale >never bullied by her again >mfw now bullied by everyone else for being autistic

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Anon sets a trap | /r/Greentext

15965029 1823782704528885_2088726311223753541_n.jpg 130 KB JPG Story time folks >Be me >Trump supporter >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial college near by >Constantly getting run over and pulled out >Think of idea (pic related) >Plant nails and wait >One day a woman comes to my door >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and starts screaming at me about how it's my fault her tires are flat OhLordMySides.exe >She says if l don't reimburse her for her tire she'll get the police involved >Sudden Idea >Tell her to leave her information so I can send her the check since I would need to go to the bank >Actually does it >Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit >Get my outside cameras to see her running over my sign >Give her name address and car tags to confirm it was her car >Take her to court, open and shut case >Pay for damages >Throw in some b------- about emotional damage "I don't feel like me or my property is safe just because of my political views" >Actually f------ works >She loses her f------ s--- at this point >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and how this should be illegal NoProof.jpeg >Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or college if she has to pay this >Based Judge says "You should of thought about that before tearing down someone's property, you have 30 days to pay" >She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court, can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional damages So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade? Pic related ifunny.co
15965029 1823782704528885_2088726311223753541_n.jpg 130 KB JPG Story time folks >Be me >Trump supporter >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial college near by >Constantly getting run over and pulled out >Think of idea (pic related) >Plant nails and wait >One day a woman comes to my door >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and starts screaming at me about how it's my fault her tires are flat OhLordMySides.exe >She says if l don't reimburse her for her tire she'll get the police involved >Sudden Idea >Tell her to leave her information so I can send her the check since I would need to go to the bank >Actually does it >Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit >Get my outside cameras to see her running over my sign >Give her name address and car tags to confirm it was her car >Take her to court, open and shut case >Pay for damages >Throw in some b------- about emotional damage "I don't feel like me or my property is safe just because of my political views" >Actually f------ works >She loses her f------ s--- at this point >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and how this should be illegal NoProof.jpeg >Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or college if she has to pay this >Based Judge says "You should of thought about that before tearing down someone's property, you have 30 days to pay" >She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court, can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional damages So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade? Pic related ifunny.co

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Anon is a good soccer manager | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)08:01:25 No.543406786 I was 12, playing some s----- simulated football thing on a website. This was around 2005ish so it was pretty basic, it also wasn't very popular, I think they only had a few thousand 955 KB JPG players. But I'm really good, I start right at the bottom and plough through the competition. plan tactics, pick the right players, beat the odds and manage to move up four leagues in four seasons. I get an email from the f------ DEVS going "hey want to be on our news thing?" and I think H-------- I HAVE HIT THE BIG TIME JESUS CHRIST. They email me some questions, pretty basic stuff clearly aimed at showing I was enjoying the game, but I answer it full on ego like l'm a f------ premier manager, talk about player mentality and the like jesus christ l'm wenger reborn. They post it up. It is at this exact moment I realise: I have been playing through entirely Al-run leagues, I have no played a single real team the entire time, they're all in the actual premier leagues. Everyone I played against is a f------ Al script that probably didn't even work and just existed to pad things out. The article itself correctly paints me as a chromosome collector to be gently pity-clapped for my enthusiasm.
: Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)08:01:25 No.543406786 I was 12, playing some s----- simulated football thing on a website. This was around 2005ish so it was pretty basic, it also wasn't very popular, I think they only had a few thousand 955 KB JPG players. But I'm really good, I start right at the bottom and plough through the competition. plan tactics, pick the right players, beat the odds and manage to move up four leagues in four seasons. I get an email from the f------ DEVS going "hey want to be on our news thing?" and I think H-------- I HAVE HIT THE BIG TIME JESUS CHRIST. They email me some questions, pretty basic stuff clearly aimed at showing I was enjoying the game, but I answer it full on ego like l'm a f------ premier manager, talk about player mentality and the like jesus christ l'm wenger reborn. They post it up. It is at this exact moment I realise: I have been playing through entirely Al-run leagues, I have no played a single real team the entire time, they're all in the actual premier leagues. Everyone I played against is a f------ Al script that probably didn't even work and just existed to pad things out. The article itself correctly paints me as a chromosome collector to be gently pity-clapped for my enthusiasm.

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Anon is bald eagle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/10/18(Wed)08:08:36 No.48612221 reeeeeeeeе get out commie f--- >lts never worked so stop trying >Its not going to work reeee 10 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
Anonymous 10/10/18(Wed)08:08:36 No.48612221 reeeeeeeeе get out commie f--- >lts never worked so stop trying >Its not going to work reeee 10 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon fools a coworker | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 16W9IEZG) 05/04/12(Fri)22:21:53 No.397680460 File: 1336184513.jpg-(53 KB, 400x400, 1331856759425.jpg) >Be 19 >working in s----- clothes store >6-7/10 female coworker hitting on me hardcore >l don't know how to deal with this. >Convince myself that she can't really be attracted to me: >She must be plotting something. >Want it to stop asap >Lie. Tell her l'm gay. >She stops hitting on me. >A day or so of peace. >Male coworker starts hitting on me. >God f------ damn it. >He still thinks we're dating. >Jokes on him. He's been putting his d--- in a straight man. >Lol f------. >mfw
Anonymous (ID: 16W9IEZG) 05/04/12(Fri)22:21:53 No.397680460 File: 1336184513.jpg-(53 KB, 400x400, 1331856759425.jpg) >Be 19 >working in s----- clothes store >6-7/10 female coworker hitting on me hardcore >l don't know how to deal with this. >Convince myself that she can't really be attracted to me: >She must be plotting something. >Want it to stop asap >Lie. Tell her l'm gay. >She stops hitting on me. >A day or so of peace. >Male coworker starts hitting on me. >God f------ damn it. >He still thinks we're dating. >Jokes on him. He's been putting his d--- in a straight man. >Lol f------. >mfw

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Lead pipes | /r/Greentext

File: image0-38.gif (137 KB, 128x128) U Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:42:11 No.847146415 [Reply] >be me >go to florida for spring break or some s--- like that >grandparents have condo there so I stay with them >its 11:00 >go into kitchen to get drink >see grandfather jerking the ever loving s--- out of his d--- from behind the counter >turn away >pour some water and act like nothing happened >go back to room Why are we here? Just to suffer?
File: image0-38.gif (137 KB, 128x128) U Anonymous 02/11/21(Thu)17:42:11 No.847146415 [Reply] >be me >go to florida for spring break or some s--- like that >grandparents have condo there so I stay with them >its 11:00 >go into kitchen to get drink >see grandfather jerking the ever loving s--- out of his d--- from behind the counter >turn away >pour some water and act like nothing happened >go back to room Why are we here? Just to suffer?

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Anon stalks his ex girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)09:32:35 No.846992635 >Be me >Ex gf has a new boyfriend >Let's go stalk the guy >Finds out he has a weed buisness >Find out he's not very smart >Starting a folder with all the proofs 112 KB JPG >Send it to the police >1 month later >Friend tells me that police had a warrant for her appartment, they found out that she was storing the weed for her bf >She's sleeping in jail right now Am la genius anons ?
: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)09:32:35 No.846992635 >Be me >Ex gf has a new boyfriend >Let's go stalk the guy >Finds out he has a weed buisness >Find out he's not very smart >Starting a folder with all the proofs 112 KB JPG >Send it to the police >1 month later >Friend tells me that police had a warrant for her appartment, they found out that she was storing the weed for her bf >She's sleeping in jail right now Am la genius anons ?

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Annon has opinion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 847125353 1 godz. temu Guys, I'm malding. >be me >talking to this chick >asks me what I think about trans rights >lt'sShow Time.mp4 >start discussing it, she says her opinions, I tell her mine >going better than I expected >all of the sudden she tells me I'm a bad person >w--.jpeg >ask her why she tells me that >well Anon you're an idiot and don't deserve an opinion 110,4 kB JPG >... >is this bitch serious? >tell her I don't dislike her because of her opinions, it's a human right to have an opinion, having a different opinion is normal, and should be respected >get blocked Well that went like s---, I am angry, need to vent to another girl I like. >mention it in short >tells me she's sad I think like this /b/ro's, please convince me l'm not crazy to think transgenders are vile Frankenstein creations. Tl;dr - redpill me on transgenders 20 REPLIES 8 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 847125353 1 godz. temu Guys, I'm malding. >be me >talking to this chick >asks me what I think about trans rights >lt'sShow Time.mp4 >start discussing it, she says her opinions, I tell her mine >going better than I expected >all of the sudden she tells me I'm a bad person >w--.jpeg >ask her why she tells me that >well Anon you're an idiot and don't deserve an opinion 110,4 kB JPG >... >is this bitch serious? >tell her I don't dislike her because of her opinions, it's a human right to have an opinion, having a different opinion is normal, and should be respected >get blocked Well that went like s---, I am angry, need to vent to another girl I like. >mention it in short >tells me she's sad I think like this /b/ro's, please convince me l'm not crazy to think transgenders are vile Frankenstein creations. Tl;dr - redpill me on transgenders 20 REPLIES 8 IMAGES REPLY

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