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Anons helps somebody | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)00:00:01 No.47882933 >be me, 8 at the time >playing in front lawn >dude comes up with a van >dressed in trenchcoat and wearing dark glasses >"hey kid, wanna help me find my dog?" 196 KB GIF >not knowing better say, "sure!" >he takes my hand and leads me to his van >driving around for a little bit >stops >gets out >back of van opens, a dog leaps inside >oh boy!" >"okay, thanks for the help, want to go home now?" >"yeah!" >takes me home >telling parents about my adventure >dad rapes me View Thread
: Anonymous 09/02/18(Sun)00:00:01 No.47882933 >be me, 8 at the time >playing in front lawn >dude comes up with a van >dressed in trenchcoat and wearing dark glasses >"hey kid, wanna help me find my dog?" 196 KB GIF >not knowing better say, "sure!" >he takes my hand and leads me to his van >driving around for a little bit >stops >gets out >back of van opens, a dog leaps inside >oh boy!" >"okay, thanks for the help, want to go home now?" >"yeah!" >takes me home >telling parents about my adventure >dad rapes me View Thread

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Anon is a doctor | /r/Greentext

-) O Legend of the Plague Doctor Anonymous >Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down street to McDonalds. >Enter, walk to counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. >Put on deep voice. >"DO NOT BE AFRAID, CHILD!" >Wave arms, leap onto counter. >Kickover register and charity jar. >Raise hands into air. >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY!" >Manager storms in, appears angry. >Moonwalk. >Kick fat kid's McFlurry from hands. >"You are fat. You need not this." >Tip hat to manager, jump from counter. >Head for door, see bitch/hot girl from high school. >She has fries, is staring with gaping jaw. >Sprint to her. >Grab her fries, slap her. >Manager shouts, tries to grab hat. >Spin around, slap him across face. >"UNHAND ME, MALE OF BROWN SKIN!" >Sparta kick the door. >Run out of store. >Walk the dinosaur. >Go home, leave without costume. >Return to McDonald's, see sign with "no dogs allowed" stuff. >See picture of plague doctor with cross-out thing on it. >LOL.
-) O Legend of the Plague Doctor Anonymous >Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down street to McDonalds. >Enter, walk to counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. >Put on deep voice. >"DO NOT BE AFRAID, CHILD!" >Wave arms, leap onto counter. >Kickover register and charity jar. >Raise hands into air. >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY!" >Manager storms in, appears angry. >Moonwalk. >Kick fat kid's McFlurry from hands. >"You are fat. You need not this." >Tip hat to manager, jump from counter. >Head for door, see bitch/hot girl from high school. >She has fries, is staring with gaping jaw. >Sprint to her. >Grab her fries, slap her. >Manager shouts, tries to grab hat. >Spin around, slap him across face. >"UNHAND ME, MALE OF BROWN SKIN!" >Sparta kick the door. >Run out of store. >Walk the dinosaur. >Go home, leave without costume. >Return to McDonald's, see sign with "no dogs allowed" stuff. >See picture of plague doctor with cross-out thing on it. >LOL.

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Anon wonders how | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/22/20(Thu)11:07:45 No.529478550 DigMinecraft.com 3E01E13D-F4D8-4351-A539-B7E1C208AB6E.png 36 KB PNG How were you supposed to know that you had to cut a tree? : Anonymous 10/22/20(Thu)11:33:14 No.529480717 how
: Anonymous 10/22/20(Thu)11:07:45 No.529478550 DigMinecraft.com 3E01E13D-F4D8-4351-A539-B7E1C208AB6E.png 36 KB PNG How were you supposed to know that you had to cut a tree? : Anonymous 10/22/20(Thu)11:33:14 No.529480717 how

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Anon cannot socialize in the real world nor the internet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:10:00 No.847744971 >be me >decide to finally make a post on 4chan after years of lurking >nobody responds >keep waiting >keep waiting >keep waiting >the only person who responds calls me a f----- 70 KB JPG >post dies >even in a website full of losers I'm a bigger one then all of them >mfw : Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:10:55 No.847745022 f-----
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:10:00 No.847744971 >be me >decide to finally make a post on 4chan after years of lurking >nobody responds >keep waiting >keep waiting >keep waiting >the only person who responds calls me a f----- 70 KB JPG >post dies >even in a website full of losers I'm a bigger one then all of them >mfw : Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)21:10:55 No.847745022 f-----

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Anon Has Migraines | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)08:52:39 No.847687468 >Be me >Have chronic migraines >Really sucks. It affects my workflow and general happiness >Go to sleep >Wake up one day without migraine 144 KB PNG >Наpру : Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)09:07:02 No.847688114 Kys
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)08:52:39 No.847687468 >Be me >Have chronic migraines >Really sucks. It affects my workflow and general happiness >Go to sleep >Wake up one day without migraine 144 KB PNG >Наpру : Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)09:07:02 No.847688114 Kys

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Anon parties like it’s 2019 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)11:37:06 No.788805552 >be me >be gay >came out to parents about 4 years ago >dad hasn't spoken to me since >anyway >at New Years party at my parents 41 KB JPG house >whole family is there and having fun >feelsgoodtobeincluded.wav >everybody has been drinking >because New Years >anyway, the clock hits 00:00 , whooooo! New Years! >my dad walks up to me and says >"well, it's 2019 anon" >l'm stunned, I think he's finally come to terms with me being gay I say >"sure is dad" >then he says >"and you're still a f------ f-----"
: Anonymous 01/01/19(Tue)11:37:06 No.788805552 >be me >be gay >came out to parents about 4 years ago >dad hasn't spoken to me since >anyway >at New Years party at my parents 41 KB JPG house >whole family is there and having fun >feelsgoodtobeincluded.wav >everybody has been drinking >because New Years >anyway, the clock hits 00:00 , whooooo! New Years! >my dad walks up to me and says >"well, it's 2019 anon" >l'm stunned, I think he's finally come to terms with me being gay I say >"sure is dad" >then he says >"and you're still a f------ f-----"

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Anon is Joe | /r/Greentext

File: images (2) jpg (7 KB, 182x277) Anonymous 04/05/18(Thu)16:36:07 No.765016942 [Reply] >765017531 >went to get my wisdom teeth removed >operation goes pretty okay >doctor says I have to leave in a wheelechair >superdopeduponpainkillers.png >slam into chair, like it's WWE s--- >unleashthepeter.gif >"HEY PETER WHEEL MY ASs OVER TO THE CAR." >mormon mum hears, and begins shreiking >start blabbering on while doing autistic impression of Joe Swanson >"CUT THE CRAP PETER OR I'LL HAVE YOU F------ INCARCERATED." >mum is crying >2-3 hours later, come out of it, laying down on couch >mum is p----- off >asks if I've been watching Family Guy >holyshit.png >say no, say I heard it from a mate >2 weeks later, mum transfers me into a Mormon private school >killedtwobirdsinonestone.exe >class is hella easy, get into high quality university because of good grades >start praising Joe Swanson instead of Joseph Smith >Joe Swanson is the true god.
File: images (2) jpg (7 KB, 182x277) Anonymous 04/05/18(Thu)16:36:07 No.765016942 [Reply] >765017531 >went to get my wisdom teeth removed >operation goes pretty okay >doctor says I have to leave in a wheelechair >superdopeduponpainkillers.png >slam into chair, like it's WWE s--- >unleashthepeter.gif >"HEY PETER WHEEL MY ASs OVER TO THE CAR." >mormon mum hears, and begins shreiking >start blabbering on while doing autistic impression of Joe Swanson >"CUT THE CRAP PETER OR I'LL HAVE YOU F------ INCARCERATED." >mum is crying >2-3 hours later, come out of it, laying down on couch >mum is p----- off >asks if I've been watching Family Guy >holyshit.png >say no, say I heard it from a mate >2 weeks later, mum transfers me into a Mormon private school >killedtwobirdsinonestone.exe >class is hella easy, get into high quality university because of good grades >start praising Joe Swanson instead of Joseph Smith >Joe Swanson is the true god.

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Anon can't read | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)03:22:08 No.62385984 >>62385566 (OP)# >shopping in a clothing store with mummy when I was about 8 or 9 >try on a shirt I like and look at it in a mirror 31 KB JPG >the text on the shirt is backwards in the mirror >l become instantly confused and enraged that the cool shirt I was wearing just had all the text on it reversed. >Mummy has to take me out of the store because I wouldn't stop bitching about the shirt being faulty. >Mummy finally realizes that her son is retarded. >>62386180 #
: Anonymous 02/18/21(Thu)03:22:08 No.62385984 >>62385566 (OP)# >shopping in a clothing store with mummy when I was about 8 or 9 >try on a shirt I like and look at it in a mirror 31 KB JPG >the text on the shirt is backwards in the mirror >l become instantly confused and enraged that the cool shirt I was wearing just had all the text on it reversed. >Mummy has to take me out of the store because I wouldn't stop bitching about the shirt being faulty. >Mummy finally realizes that her son is retarded. >>62386180 #

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Anon isn't a furry | /r/Greentext

No.62392013 25 minutes ago 1612428318990.png PNG 309.4 KiB 540x458 >in college classes >its via zoom but whatever at least im learning something >professor does some icebreaker activity, say our names and answer the icebreaker question >"what's your favorite animal?" >6 people with furry pfps immediately pop up >one of them turns on his camera im losin it >"alexander foxington" >he's wearing fox ears >all 6 of them begin talking over each other about their favorite animal >they get mad at each other and start insulting one another >professor mutes all participants with the most exasperated look on his face someone please tell me this is a viable reason to drop out. i dont want to spend another minute with these freaks
No.62392013 25 minutes ago 1612428318990.png PNG 309.4 KiB 540x458 >in college classes >its via zoom but whatever at least im learning something >professor does some icebreaker activity, say our names and answer the icebreaker question >"what's your favorite animal?" >6 people with furry pfps immediately pop up >one of them turns on his camera im losin it >"alexander foxington" >he's wearing fox ears >all 6 of them begin talking over each other about their favorite animal >they get mad at each other and start insulting one another >professor mutes all participants with the most exasperated look on his face someone please tell me this is a viable reason to drop out. i dont want to spend another minute with these freaks

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Anon has done it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/18(Thu)14:10:35 No.45794990 >be me >somebody makes fun of me >girl laughs at me >this means she was thinking of me >in other terms my image was in her brain for a short while 6 KB JPG >l've basically been inside her See you later, virgins 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/18(Thu)14:10:35 No.45794990 >be me >somebody makes fun of me >girl laughs at me >this means she was thinking of me >in other terms my image was in her brain for a short while 6 KB JPG >l've basically been inside her See you later, virgins 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon passes medical exam | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The doctor discovers abscesses 07/23/18(Mon)23:32:51 No.6947029 > be me > mentor recently died, I therefore inherited his status as doctor > 7th century idk > walk past the farms on my way to the castle 149 KB PNG > see a family of peasants waiting for me > male is sick, has a big fleshy orb on his back > *notices buldge* ō>õ what's this? > "please cure my husband, he's become il" > no clue w-- he has > sure.carvedstone > poke with doctors stick > buldge bursts > whitish cream bursts everywhere > looks like spider blood > smells like spider blood > tastes like spider blood > declare farmer possessed by spider > burned alive at the stake > king pays me godly for preventing spider disease from spreading > feelsgoodman
: Anonymous The doctor discovers abscesses 07/23/18(Mon)23:32:51 No.6947029 > be me > mentor recently died, I therefore inherited his status as doctor > 7th century idk > walk past the farms on my way to the castle 149 KB PNG > see a family of peasants waiting for me > male is sick, has a big fleshy orb on his back > *notices buldge* ō>õ what's this? > "please cure my husband, he's become il" > no clue w-- he has > sure.carvedstone > poke with doctors stick > buldge bursts > whitish cream bursts everywhere > looks like spider blood > smells like spider blood > tastes like spider blood > declare farmer possessed by spider > burned alive at the stake > king pays me godly for preventing spider disease from spreading > feelsgoodman

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Anon is smart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: BAVUTG+) 06/01/14(Sun)23:11:58 No.549162040 - 2549162163 >be 12 >want to order pay per view p--- >use dads credit card >record it on vhs so id have it forever >wait for bill to come in mail >get on microsoft paint and remove the p--- >put in titanic >put bill back in the mail >dad yells at me for renting titanic without permission, but nothing worse if you wanna pull a big heist, you gotta take a small hit
Anonymous (ID: BAVUTG+) 06/01/14(Sun)23:11:58 No.549162040 - 2549162163 >be 12 >want to order pay per view p--- >use dads credit card >record it on vhs so id have it forever >wait for bill to come in mail >get on microsoft paint and remove the p--- >put in titanic >put bill back in the mail >dad yells at me for renting titanic without permission, but nothing worse if you wanna pull a big heist, you gotta take a small hit

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anon has crabs | /r/Greentext

>have pubic lice (crabs) OD >no shampoo works >decide to get some fire ants and place on pubes to fight the crabs >they scrap for a bit >they both have established strongholds on the opposite ends 2 KB JPG of my jungle >to the north lie the wiley crabs of pubendorf >to the south lie the barbaric fire ants of fort scrotum >one morning notice a fire ant on horseback riding towards the crabs stronghold >look closer >its a f------ threaty of alliance F--- f--- their joining sides!!! There is a rumble in my jungle and i dont what to do about it
>have pubic lice (crabs) OD >no shampoo works >decide to get some fire ants and place on pubes to fight the crabs >they scrap for a bit >they both have established strongholds on the opposite ends 2 KB JPG of my jungle >to the north lie the wiley crabs of pubendorf >to the south lie the barbaric fire ants of fort scrotum >one morning notice a fire ant on horseback riding towards the crabs stronghold >look closer >its a f------ threaty of alliance F--- f--- their joining sides!!! There is a rumble in my jungle and i dont what to do about it

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/fit/izen has imaginations | /r/Greentext

5 Re · 1 Img · JPG 384KB · (1920 × 1080) 5 Replies >go to gym and work out >imagine coming home to my loving girlfriend >imagine sitting down eating a meal with her >finish my workout >come home >heat up my already prepared tupperware meal >eat alone
5 Re · 1 Img · JPG 384KB · (1920 × 1080) 5 Replies >go to gym and work out >imagine coming home to my loving girlfriend >imagine sitting down eating a meal with her >finish my workout >come home >heat up my already prepared tupperware meal >eat alone

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Anon gets rid of ghosts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/15(Sat)18:05:54 No.628796655 >Late last night >Have a fish tank with a light on >Kept seeing shadows in my peripheral vision >Heard sounds like deep breathing >Closet door is open even though I always shut it before I get into bed 6 KB JPG >"I'm not afraid of you f------" >Something replies >"We're not afraid of you either" >NOPE >Home alone in the middle of nowhere >Would be dangerous outside so I have to stay inside >Can't move-frozen with fear >Remember what /x/ says when you're in this situation >Tore off clothes >Masturbated >Haven't been bothered since then.
: Anonymous 07/18/15(Sat)18:05:54 No.628796655 >Late last night >Have a fish tank with a light on >Kept seeing shadows in my peripheral vision >Heard sounds like deep breathing >Closet door is open even though I always shut it before I get into bed 6 KB JPG >"I'm not afraid of you f------" >Something replies >"We're not afraid of you either" >NOPE >Home alone in the middle of nowhere >Would be dangerous outside so I have to stay inside >Can't move-frozen with fear >Remember what /x/ says when you're in this situation >Tore off clothes >Masturbated >Haven't been bothered since then.

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Anon Made a Huge Mistake | /r/Greentext

1611754489937.gif 84 KB GIF What makes a p-------- do what a p-------- does? Is there any rehabilitation? Why does it run so rampant around the world? >be me 22 Washington state had a good friend used to hang out with he was a bartender and I drank a lot. >he also worked at the local "jack shack" get some quarters and go bust a nut in a room in the back, alone, not together, f------. >come to find out he was into crystal meth, he tried to get me to do some, but I liked my alcohol. >friend was dating woman with a young girl who we all knew in our group, she used to call me uncle it was really sweet. > one night friend was sick and needed to go to the hospital, but refused to go, he was literally dying from meth induced sickness. His girlfriend and I talked to him for hours trying to convince to go to the hospital finally convincing him to. >shortly after I move to Louisiana I come back a year later to find out through a friend dude r---- the s--- out of that little girl and I mean R---- THE S--- OUT OF HER. >mfw I could have just let a p-------- die.
1611754489937.gif 84 KB GIF What makes a p-------- do what a p-------- does? Is there any rehabilitation? Why does it run so rampant around the world? >be me 22 Washington state had a good friend used to hang out with he was a bartender and I drank a lot. >he also worked at the local "jack shack" get some quarters and go bust a nut in a room in the back, alone, not together, f------. >come to find out he was into crystal meth, he tried to get me to do some, but I liked my alcohol. >friend was dating woman with a young girl who we all knew in our group, she used to call me uncle it was really sweet. > one night friend was sick and needed to go to the hospital, but refused to go, he was literally dying from meth induced sickness. His girlfriend and I talked to him for hours trying to convince to go to the hospital finally convincing him to. >shortly after I move to Louisiana I come back a year later to find out through a friend dude r---- the s--- out of that little girl and I mean R---- THE S--- OUT OF HER. >mfw I could have just let a p-------- die.

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Anon is quiet | /r/Greentext

No.62388647 2 hours ago 1569635967813.jpg JPG 78.2 KiB 918x597 >>62388540 (OP) >Always the quiet kid in school >Nearly mute outside school projects >People still liked me, I always ended up doing most to the research and writing work while they mainly made the presentation >l was okay with it >Comes end of school >Have a small thesis to defend, I choose arms production in WW2 >Gave the presentation somewhat decently, it was my favourite topic and most of it consisted of contained mini ramblings >Got a A+ >At the end of the presentation the teacher says "It was the first time l've ever heard you speak" >tfw I had the same history teacher for 3 years >tfw in 3 years, I never spoke one word to her or in any projects she gave me >tfw I just nodded with my head and went to sit down 1 reply
No.62388647 2 hours ago 1569635967813.jpg JPG 78.2 KiB 918x597 >>62388540 (OP) >Always the quiet kid in school >Nearly mute outside school projects >People still liked me, I always ended up doing most to the research and writing work while they mainly made the presentation >l was okay with it >Comes end of school >Have a small thesis to defend, I choose arms production in WW2 >Gave the presentation somewhat decently, it was my favourite topic and most of it consisted of contained mini ramblings >Got a A+ >At the end of the presentation the teacher says "It was the first time l've ever heard you speak" >tfw I had the same history teacher for 3 years >tfw in 3 years, I never spoke one word to her or in any projects she gave me >tfw I just nodded with my head and went to sit down 1 reply

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Anon secretly a manlet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Help AnOns 06/24/19(Mon)14:33:56 No.53056693 >be me >chad face manlet >meet a girl on vidya >she really likes me >we start edating >find out we live close 44 KB JPG >she asks how tall I am I say 5'8 >she is 5'6 I'm actually 5'5 and she is coming over today what the f--- do I do HELP ANONS : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)14:34:58 No.53056699 Ok listen to me. You have dyslexia and misread your height on the ruler >>53056712 # >>53057080 #
: Anonymous Help AnOns 06/24/19(Mon)14:33:56 No.53056693 >be me >chad face manlet >meet a girl on vidya >she really likes me >we start edating >find out we live close 44 KB JPG >she asks how tall I am I say 5'8 >she is 5'6 I'm actually 5'5 and she is coming over today what the f--- do I do HELP ANONS : Anonymous 06/24/19(Mon)14:34:58 No.53056699 Ok listen to me. You have dyslexia and misread your height on the ruler >>53056712 # >>53057080 #

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

So l've been into this girl for awhile now and yesterday I told her how I felt and she turned me down so I called her a stupid w---- and told her I was going to kill myself and it was going to be all her fault as a joke. She called my mom and now she's trying to force me to go to therapy. What do I do and how can I convince all of them that it was just a joke and I'm not crazy? 56m (2/18 21:13) · 847692428 GIF · 185KB · (220 × 220) 1 Reply Stop it. >>847692279 (OP) >as a joke >as a joke >as a joke what a retarded f----- you are. you probably need therapy
So l've been into this girl for awhile now and yesterday I told her how I felt and she turned me down so I called her a stupid w---- and told her I was going to kill myself and it was going to be all her fault as a joke. She called my mom and now she's trying to force me to go to therapy. What do I do and how can I convince all of them that it was just a joke and I'm not crazy? 56m (2/18 21:13) · 847692428 GIF · 185KB · (220 × 220) 1 Reply Stop it. >>847692279 (OP) >as a joke >as a joke >as a joke what a retarded f----- you are. you probably need therapy

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Anon had OCD | /r/Greentext

1610657972591.jpg 203 KB JPG OCD is literally turning my brain into mush. I had to spend an hour rereading the definition of trapazoid because I doubted that I knew it : Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)18:14:54 No.61908399 >>61908386 (OP) # Are you sure you got it right, though?
1610657972591.jpg 203 KB JPG OCD is literally turning my brain into mush. I had to spend an hour rereading the definition of trapazoid because I doubted that I knew it : Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)18:14:54 No.61908399 >>61908386 (OP) # Are you sure you got it right, though?

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