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Rusia monky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: anzQaN2t 03/18/20(Wed)02:11:47 No.9778477 discuss 83 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous (ID: gVrMwJ/E )E 03/18/20(Wed)03:31:14 No.9778870 >>9778477 (0OP) # Rusia monky 30 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: anzQaN2t 03/18/20(Wed)02:11:47 No.9778477 discuss 83 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous (ID: gVrMwJ/E )E 03/18/20(Wed)03:31:14 No.9778870 >>9778477 (0OP) # Rusia monky 30 KB JPG

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Anon is working hard | /r/Greentext

>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy
>be me >friend invites me out for drinks >I have work in the morning >f--- it >get plastered >wake up for work next day >still very drunk 38 KB JPG >herewego.png >somehow make it to work in one piece >"Hey annon what's up?" >"good and you?" >awkward silence >suddenly have a bright idea >decide to power nap in storage closet to sober up >set alarm on phone for 30 minutes >wake up 10 hours later, hungover >slept through my alarm >s---.jpeg >think I'm gonna be fired >f--- it, time to go home >boss sees me on the way out >"Wow anon, you look beat. Thanks for staying late today. I appreciate it" >talks to me about a possible promotion >mfw work is easy

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Anon is from r/teenagers | /r/Greentext

File: hahaha.png (92 KB, 853x800) O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)22:25:23 No.62123048 [Reply] >>62123320 >omg shrek hahaha so funny O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)22:56:57 No.62123320 File: 1601795833709.png (144 KB, 766x800) >>62123048 (OP) GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!!!!111!!!!!1!
File: hahaha.png (92 KB, 853x800) O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)22:25:23 No.62123048 [Reply] >>62123320 >omg shrek hahaha so funny O Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)22:56:57 No.62123320 File: 1601795833709.png (144 KB, 766x800) >>62123048 (OP) GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!!!!111!!!!!1!

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Anon replied: ‘based’ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)18:05:44 No.846126827 >be me >write unpopular opinion >people reply with "based" >Feelsgood.gif Thank you. I feel a little less worthless 194 KB JPG now. : Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)18:06:32 No.846126862 >>846126827 (OP) # Based.
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)18:05:44 No.846126827 >be me >write unpopular opinion >people reply with "based" >Feelsgood.gif Thank you. I feel a little less worthless 194 KB JPG now. : Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)18:06:32 No.846126862 >>846126827 (OP) # Based.

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Always chek before you rek | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)02:13:39 No.846284146 PAINI >gf of 1 1/2 years >refused to have sex with me >not religious or anything so I don't get it >year of trying has culminated to today >says ok >strip her naked >notice her cooch is f----- up AGONY, EVEN 115 KB JPG >ask about it >bitch tells me he's a f------ t----- >tell that f------ thing to get the hell out of my house >sulk in disappointment on my computer so that's my day. how you guys doing?
: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)02:13:39 No.846284146 PAINI >gf of 1 1/2 years >refused to have sex with me >not religious or anything so I don't get it >year of trying has culminated to today >says ok >strip her naked >notice her cooch is f----- up AGONY, EVEN 115 KB JPG >ask about it >bitch tells me he's a f------ t----- >tell that f------ thing to get the hell out of my house >sulk in disappointment on my computer so that's my day. how you guys doing?

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Anon becomes religions | /r/Greentext

Marcissus IN9EDLMFSKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.87673510 File1313080993.png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554 png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social contact >they notice me crossing WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS >they giggle >f--- this Tl just pretend i live at this house go down random driveway >curtains shuffe *middle aged woman stars at me out the window >turn around fast 3 girls stood staring at me *this is their house >rapidly think of plan B *have you accepted jesus as your ford and saviour?
Marcissus IN9EDLMFSKI 08/11/11(Thu)12:43 No.87673510 File1313080993.png-(9 KB, 288x350, 1310957042554 png) >walking down street >group of hot girls ahead on sidewalk >oh f--- >aspie overload >cross street to avoid social contact >they notice me crossing WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS >they giggle >f--- this Tl just pretend i live at this house go down random driveway >curtains shuffe *middle aged woman stars at me out the window >turn around fast 3 girls stood staring at me *this is their house >rapidly think of plan B *have you accepted jesus as your ford and saviour?

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My mama says they were magic shoes. They could take me anywhere. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)23:01:29 No.59634322 >go for a jog >first time doing it >guy passes by me on a car and yells "RUN FORREST RUN" I'm never doing cardio again. F--- you, /fit/ 38 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)23:01:29 No.59634322 >go for a jog >first time doing it >guy passes by me on a car and yells "RUN FORREST RUN" I'm never doing cardio again. F--- you, /fit/ 38 KB JPG

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Anon likes Hannibal Buress | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)02:40:55 No.846285476 >be me >at grandma's funeral >see eldest brother >total f------ tool >truly don't like the guy >walk up to him to talk a bit >instant regret 150 KB JPG >his wife comes a few seconds later >see she is pregnant >need to lighten up the mood >"looks like somebody just had sex" >say it like Hannibal Buress for some reason >"ok anon" >they walk away 7 years have passed and I still cringe about it
: Anonymous 02/02/21(Tue)02:40:55 No.846285476 >be me >at grandma's funeral >see eldest brother >total f------ tool >truly don't like the guy >walk up to him to talk a bit >instant regret 150 KB JPG >his wife comes a few seconds later >see she is pregnant >need to lighten up the mood >"looks like somebody just had sex" >say it like Hannibal Buress for some reason >"ok anon" >they walk away 7 years have passed and I still cringe about it

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anon bullies a classmate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)04:04:55 No.846266546 > Be 13 > Mother started beating and belittling me regularly since I was 11 > Be really depressed > Parents move me around every 117 KB JPG year because work > Emotional abuse gets worse > Stop trying to make friends > Kicked out of school because kids thought I was dangerous and I had no friends > Go to a s--- charter school > Am smart, put in a self-study math group > Group has maybe 5 people in it kind of like breakfast club > Pick on skinny white girl with red hair > Make fun of her SpongeBob t-shirt and say you look like you shop at Goodwill > Turns out she's a foster kid, and it was actually from Goodwill > Feelsbad, but double down because l'm self destructive > Everyone hates me, which was the goal >I get the space I wanted to feel safe to begin with > She's sobbing outside on her own >I go apologize > Explain I didn't really mean it, I just say things I tell myself from being abused and bullied > She understands and becomes my best friend > Gives me more kindness than any human ever has before > I turn into a broken mess that can't cope with passing on hatred anymore > School is garbage and shuts down and defunded > Girl hand stitches me a wallet out of denim with all the few resources she owns > Puts her photo in wallet with a hand written letter telling me to be strong and a better person > Says she will always be my friend no matter what > She relocates, I relocate > Never seen her again 100% true story. Now l'm 26 and always wondered what happened to her. Wish I could find her and catch up. I have a hard time feeling anything, but remembering her makes me cry sometimes. Still remember her name but couldn't find anything on my own.
: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)04:04:55 No.846266546 > Be 13 > Mother started beating and belittling me regularly since I was 11 > Be really depressed > Parents move me around every 117 KB JPG year because work > Emotional abuse gets worse > Stop trying to make friends > Kicked out of school because kids thought I was dangerous and I had no friends > Go to a s--- charter school > Am smart, put in a self-study math group > Group has maybe 5 people in it kind of like breakfast club > Pick on skinny white girl with red hair > Make fun of her SpongeBob t-shirt and say you look like you shop at Goodwill > Turns out she's a foster kid, and it was actually from Goodwill > Feelsbad, but double down because l'm self destructive > Everyone hates me, which was the goal >I get the space I wanted to feel safe to begin with > She's sobbing outside on her own >I go apologize > Explain I didn't really mean it, I just say things I tell myself from being abused and bullied > She understands and becomes my best friend > Gives me more kindness than any human ever has before > I turn into a broken mess that can't cope with passing on hatred anymore > School is garbage and shuts down and defunded > Girl hand stitches me a wallet out of denim with all the few resources she owns > Puts her photo in wallet with a hand written letter telling me to be strong and a better person > Says she will always be my friend no matter what > She relocates, I relocate > Never seen her again 100% true story. Now l'm 26 and always wondered what happened to her. Wish I could find her and catch up. I have a hard time feeling anything, but remembering her makes me cry sometimes. Still remember her name but couldn't find anything on my own.

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Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou has perfected praise | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)14:31:35 No.62131000 >Be me >15 >My friend group decides we are all gonna take turn giving each other compliments >My turn to compliment one of the girls 68 KB JPG >Can't think of anything to say >"Anon, its your turn" >Panic >Dumbidea.jpg >I say "You have a nice ass" >Everyone starts laughing >mfw she genuinely looks happy to have her ass complimented %3D >Mission succeeded I wish I still had that kind of confidence
: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)14:31:35 No.62131000 >Be me >15 >My friend group decides we are all gonna take turn giving each other compliments >My turn to compliment one of the girls 68 KB JPG >Can't think of anything to say >"Anon, its your turn" >Panic >Dumbidea.jpg >I say "You have a nice ass" >Everyone starts laughing >mfw she genuinely looks happy to have her ass complimented %3D >Mission succeeded I wish I still had that kind of confidence

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anon is a total loser who still lives at home with his parents at 24 haha | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)21:22:29 No.59633379 >>59633101 (OP) >be 24 >have sister who is 16 >has her friend over who is 8/10 blonde literally named Stacy >sitting right beside me on the couch >"Anon is it true steroids shrink your d---?" 257 KB PNG >I don't roid so I have no idea >"you should let me check yours to make sure you're okay" >grabs my benis >immediately stand up and go upstairs to my room Why are teenage grills like this? Is she trying to get me on a sexual predator list?
Anonymous 01/31/21(Sun)21:22:29 No.59633379 >>59633101 (OP) >be 24 >have sister who is 16 >has her friend over who is 8/10 blonde literally named Stacy >sitting right beside me on the couch >"Anon is it true steroids shrink your d---?" 257 KB PNG >I don't roid so I have no idea >"you should let me check yours to make sure you're okay" >grabs my benis >immediately stand up and go upstairs to my room Why are teenage grills like this? Is she trying to get me on a sexual predator list?

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Anon’s dreams are ruined | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/20(Tue)11:09:07 No.56795094 >be 11 yo f-- >live in a pretty small town >one day come to local tennis club with my dad >start to play in the kids tennis group >become one of the best there 36 KB PNG >actually enjoy the game >less and less kids come to sessions >after like 2 years there is only me >was the only 10-14 yo group in the club >because small town the only other groups are either small 7-10 babys or 16+ professional athletes >get put in the little kids group >no challenge at all >dont even try or pay attention half the time >give up and stopped coming to the club after a month of this f--- i couldve been a tennis god super chad but now im a shitheaded overwight virgin what a f------ joke of a life Viow Thread
: Anonymous 02/18/20(Tue)11:09:07 No.56795094 >be 11 yo f-- >live in a pretty small town >one day come to local tennis club with my dad >start to play in the kids tennis group >become one of the best there 36 KB PNG >actually enjoy the game >less and less kids come to sessions >after like 2 years there is only me >was the only 10-14 yo group in the club >because small town the only other groups are either small 7-10 babys or 16+ professional athletes >get put in the little kids group >no challenge at all >dont even try or pay attention half the time >give up and stopped coming to the club after a month of this f--- i couldve been a tennis god super chad but now im a shitheaded overwight virgin what a f------ joke of a life Viow Thread

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Thanks /b/ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/21 (Mon)17:07:45 No.846283863 Not 4chan related, but it happened during high school over normie social media. >be me >15 >2012-ish 259 KB JPG >from deep south, living in a rural town with a population of ~6,500 >highschool administration is retarded about social media >one day, a big fight broke out between a bunch of white kids at a football game >fight is recorded from multiple different angles by over a dozen bystanders >videos are unironically funny, lots of great meme potential >knew how to use Sony Vegas so I create a "supercut" video with whacky sound effects, music, etc >upload it to a throwaway youtube account behind a VPN and share link with only 2 close friends >next day, my supercut is everywhere being shared all over facebook and twitter >literal d------- students are commenting on YT accounts with their real names (this was during the Google+ integration) >video was downloaded, compressed, and re-uploaded to facebook and being shared >the f------ school board has taken notice >that day, the school calls literally the entire 8th, 9th, and 10th grades to an emergency assembly in the gym >the principal and the 4 vice principals are there >so are the police >they have a projector >they have screenshots of all commenters, shares, etc on FB and YT >those who were seen in the sideshow were told to come up and apologize for using social media some were literally crying >these students, as well as those on a list they created based on what they saw on social media were automatically suspended for 6 months >students who had a prior infraction history were expelled >they were also targeting students who simply had it posted on their Facebook profiles by other students >some kids never even knew about the video or watched it were suspended/expelled >over 400 kids suspended or expelled that day >parents and students were p----- that's not even the best part >THE SCHOOL PUT OUT A LITERAL BOUNTY ON THE KID WHO MADE THE SUPERCUT VIDEO >bounty reward was a "revocation of infraction" + a $10 Sonic gift card
: Anonymous 02/01/21 (Mon)17:07:45 No.846283863 Not 4chan related, but it happened during high school over normie social media. >be me >15 >2012-ish 259 KB JPG >from deep south, living in a rural town with a population of ~6,500 >highschool administration is retarded about social media >one day, a big fight broke out between a bunch of white kids at a football game >fight is recorded from multiple different angles by over a dozen bystanders >videos are unironically funny, lots of great meme potential >knew how to use Sony Vegas so I create a "supercut" video with whacky sound effects, music, etc >upload it to a throwaway youtube account behind a VPN and share link with only 2 close friends >next day, my supercut is everywhere being shared all over facebook and twitter >literal d------- students are commenting on YT accounts with their real names (this was during the Google+ integration) >video was downloaded, compressed, and re-uploaded to facebook and being shared >the f------ school board has taken notice >that day, the school calls literally the entire 8th, 9th, and 10th grades to an emergency assembly in the gym >the principal and the 4 vice principals are there >so are the police >they have a projector >they have screenshots of all commenters, shares, etc on FB and YT >those who were seen in the sideshow were told to come up and apologize for using social media some were literally crying >these students, as well as those on a list they created based on what they saw on social media were automatically suspended for 6 months >students who had a prior infraction history were expelled >they were also targeting students who simply had it posted on their Facebook profiles by other students >some kids never even knew about the video or watched it were suspended/expelled >over 400 kids suspended or expelled that day >parents and students were p----- that's not even the best part >THE SCHOOL PUT OUT A LITERAL BOUNTY ON THE KID WHO MADE THE SUPERCUT VIDEO >bounty reward was a "revocation of infraction" + a $10 Sonic gift card

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anon is a gamer | /r/Greentext

: Anon professional gamer 02/01/21(Mon)12:01:36 No.542673565 > be me > 12 years old > what do you want to be when you grow up anon? > i like video games > that's a hobby not a career anon > fast fwd 10 years 29 KB JPG > twitch gamers make more than my desk job butyousaid.jpg > pandemic begins outside > anon you no longer need to report to the office. pls work from home lennyface.txt > be wednesday >i could finalize this report or I could prestige in warzone > set Skype to Active play 8 games in 6 hours > clock out for dinner at 5pm > that's $14 a game > mfw i am professional gamer
: Anon professional gamer 02/01/21(Mon)12:01:36 No.542673565 > be me > 12 years old > what do you want to be when you grow up anon? > i like video games > that's a hobby not a career anon > fast fwd 10 years 29 KB JPG > twitch gamers make more than my desk job butyousaid.jpg > pandemic begins outside > anon you no longer need to report to the office. pls work from home lennyface.txt > be wednesday >i could finalize this report or I could prestige in warzone > set Skype to Active play 8 games in 6 hours > clock out for dinner at 5pm > that's $14 a game > mfw i am professional gamer

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anon is a hero | /r/Greentext

File: 1469861719194.jpg (38 KB, 480x480) Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:16:07 No.697692183 >Be my >Be My with web-hand throughout the city shooting >Hot girl look to be robbed >Go to help him >Punch roobers in faceface >Bam >Boom >Poo >Go to virgin women >"why help me you" she speak >"because spoodermoon" >Get mouth kiss >Her chest edges are super difficult >Launch my pennis >Yes it sucks for my spooder >Peanut in her throat >With the best night had Image fagmiliar.
File: 1469861719194.jpg (38 KB, 480x480) Anonymous 08/02/16(Tue)20:16:07 No.697692183 >Be my >Be My with web-hand throughout the city shooting >Hot girl look to be robbed >Go to help him >Punch roobers in faceface >Bam >Boom >Poo >Go to virgin women >"why help me you" she speak >"because spoodermoon" >Get mouth kiss >Her chest edges are super difficult >Launch my pennis >Yes it sucks for my spooder >Peanut in her throat >With the best night had Image fagmiliar.

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Anon receives a gift | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)13:30:38 No.820823558 You come home from a crappy day of work. You unlock your door, only to see Elon standing in your living room. There's a large cardboard box next to him. >"Hey, Anon-kun. Sometimes life is full of hardships. You're a good friend, so I 155 KB JPG thought you should have this. Enjoy, buddy." He walks to you and briefly places his hand on your shoulder before taking his leave. There's a noise heard coming from inside the box. >"Nyan?"
: Anonymous 02/16/20(Sun)13:30:38 No.820823558 You come home from a crappy day of work. You unlock your door, only to see Elon standing in your living room. There's a large cardboard box next to him. >"Hey, Anon-kun. Sometimes life is full of hardships. You're a good friend, so I 155 KB JPG thought you should have this. Enjoy, buddy." He walks to you and briefly places his hand on your shoulder before taking his leave. There's a noise heard coming from inside the box. >"Nyan?"

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Anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/18(Thu)14:54:55 >never ask anyone out >never get rejected >basically irresistible haha who's the chad now 5 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/12/18(Thu)14:54:55 >never ask anyone out >never get rejected >basically irresistible haha who's the chad now 5 KB JPG

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I am region | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)04:01:53 No.62124823 >be me >system administrator >know my way around >know how to hack things >hacking is against the law >want to get into people's cloud- YOU HAVE BEEN HАСКЕD ! 71 KB JPG based accounts >have usernames >know of a security loophole >use a password app >leak nudes from the cloud >should've used "pa$sword" instead of "password", f------ >should've encrypted the files I am the hacker known as 4chan.
: Anonymous 02/01/21(Mon)04:01:53 No.62124823 >be me >system administrator >know my way around >know how to hack things >hacking is against the law >want to get into people's cloud- YOU HAVE BEEN HАСКЕD ! 71 KB JPG based accounts >have usernames >know of a security loophole >use a password app >leak nudes from the cloud >should've used "pa$sword" instead of "password", f------ >should've encrypted the files I am the hacker known as 4chan.

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Anon eats his piglets | /r/Greentext


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Anon with his nephew | /r/Greentext


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