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Anon is polish | /r/Greentext

Polska >Be me >Be 1/8th polish but don't speak any >Started my new job a couple weeks ago >The guy I sit next to asks if I'm part Polish >'Uhhhh yeah, I guess' >He asks me what is my favourite phrase in Polish >Don't speak any but I decide to humour him >'Oh well there are many I could choose from but my favourite is Shnare Shnoshnoshnoshnosh' >He says 'Sorry what?' >I repeat 'Shnare Shnoshnoshnoshnosh' >He asks what it means >'Oh it's a very beautiful phrase in Polish, it means I am a weeping willow searching for love' >He repeats it to make sure he heard correctly >'Shnare shnoshnoshnoshnosh?" >l pretend to correct him >Shnare ShnoshNOSHnoshnosh' >We go back and forth with this made up Polish phrase several times over >Mfw about 10 other people in the office are now looking at us like we're mentally ill >All they heard was me and this other guy repeatedly saying 'Shnare Shnoshnoshnoshnosh' to one another
Polska >Be me >Be 1/8th polish but don't speak any >Started my new job a couple weeks ago >The guy I sit next to asks if I'm part Polish >'Uhhhh yeah, I guess' >He asks me what is my favourite phrase in Polish >Don't speak any but I decide to humour him >'Oh well there are many I could choose from but my favourite is Shnare Shnoshnoshnoshnosh' >He says 'Sorry what?' >I repeat 'Shnare Shnoshnoshnoshnosh' >He asks what it means >'Oh it's a very beautiful phrase in Polish, it means I am a weeping willow searching for love' >He repeats it to make sure he heard correctly >'Shnare shnoshnoshnoshnosh?" >l pretend to correct him >Shnare ShnoshNOSHnoshnosh' >We go back and forth with this made up Polish phrase several times over >Mfw about 10 other people in the office are now looking at us like we're mentally ill >All they heard was me and this other guy repeatedly saying 'Shnare Shnoshnoshnoshnosh' to one another

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Anon was at a healthy weight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)07:20:40 No.846116817 >be me >at a healthy weight >discover butter 8 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)07:20:40 No.846116817 >be me >at a healthy weight >discover butter 8 KB JPG

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)15:25:14 No. Pese be patient 1 have >be me >14 >find out about 4chan fast forward a month >find out im gay >get diagnosed with autism mfw im the prime target for 4chan bullying
O Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)15:25:14 No. Pese be patient 1 have >be me >14 >find out about 4chan fast forward a month >find out im gay >get diagnosed with autism mfw im the prime target for 4chan bullying

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Anon forgets how to sleep | /r/Greentext

O F--- Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)10:02:32 No.62094685 >>62094688 >>62095182 >Be me >Going to bed >Put covers on >Forget to close eyes >Stay awake for 6 hours before realizing I have to close my eyes to sleep >Sleep.png
O F--- Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)10:02:32 No.62094685 >>62094688 >>62095182 >Be me >Going to bed >Put covers on >Forget to close eyes >Stay awake for 6 hours before realizing I have to close my eyes to sleep >Sleep.png

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Anon is in a movie. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/20(Sat)20:36:38 No.826674449 >at university >accidentally bump into a girl carrying раpers >kneel down to help her collect them >our eyes meet >l say something like "hey, its like in the movies" 228 KB PNG >"yeah except in movies the guys attractive" 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/02/20(Sat)20:36:38 No.826674449 >at university >accidentally bump into a girl carrying раpers >kneel down to help her collect them >our eyes meet >l say something like "hey, its like in the movies" 228 KB PNG >"yeah except in movies the guys attractive" 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is Judas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283 >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god
: Anonymous 2/19(Tue)23:18:58 No.794842283 >be me >beta jew >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in our area 191 KB JPG >smart, charismatic, basically a god >start to get p----- off and jealous of him >find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs >decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together >he says he knows there's a snitch in the friend group >oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty >w-- >feel really guilty and try to return my reward >cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt >three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god >mfw i snitched on god

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Anon meets a latina | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 16 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am
Anonymous 16 minutes ago 788931223 >be me >at work >work next to a place with a lot of mexicans, most don't speak English >have to fart >qt 3.14 latina chick walking by >think "she doesn't speak English so she won't understand my fart" >fart VERY LOUD >she looks at me in disgust >mfw I realize how f------ autistic I am

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Anon solves the problem | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/10/14(Wed) 11:43:03 No.28608503 >Doing deadlifts >Some f------ kid runs around my gym >Runs into my leg as I'm trying to lockout the lift 58 KB JPG >l drop the bar into the ground, loudly >Tell the kid to piss off >His mother shows up, angry as f--- >Tells me to stop lifting around the kids >Reply that she should keep the kids away from me >Next day >F------ kid is bothering me again when im doing chest >Slam the weights loudly right next to him >Kid cries, tells his mom that I'm scary >The mom flips out, gives me a huge rant about what a meathead I am >l yell back, she eventually starts crying and runs off with both her kids >She moves out, never see her or the little s---- again >Homegym masterrace >>28608544 # >>28608562 #
Anonymous 09/10/14(Wed) 11:43:03 No.28608503 >Doing deadlifts >Some f------ kid runs around my gym >Runs into my leg as I'm trying to lockout the lift 58 KB JPG >l drop the bar into the ground, loudly >Tell the kid to piss off >His mother shows up, angry as f--- >Tells me to stop lifting around the kids >Reply that she should keep the kids away from me >Next day >F------ kid is bothering me again when im doing chest >Slam the weights loudly right next to him >Kid cries, tells his mom that I'm scary >The mom flips out, gives me a huge rant about what a meathead I am >l yell back, she eventually starts crying and runs off with both her kids >She moves out, never see her or the little s---- again >Homegym masterrace >>28608544 # >>28608562 #

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Anon in the Military | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)02:14:16 No.62089777 >Be me >Live in the original tortilla land >Go to military summer camp a few years ago >Going really nice, like it >One day a tard gets assigned to our 10 KB JPG company >We now have to carry this dead weight with us Ffw a few days >Go visit a nearby military base >Walk 3 km to the bus stop >Tard asks if he can go to the bathroom > Officer says no >1'5 hours in the bus >Doesn't go to the bus' bathroom for some reason >We get to the base >We form up at the hangar/hall >200 kids and many military personnel >the tard starts pissing himself >everybody looking and laughing, even the soldiers were laughing >the sergeant just looks away with dissapointment >goes back to the base with the same pant >Mfw we were the piss company for the rest of the camp
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)02:14:16 No.62089777 >Be me >Live in the original tortilla land >Go to military summer camp a few years ago >Going really nice, like it >One day a tard gets assigned to our 10 KB JPG company >We now have to carry this dead weight with us Ffw a few days >Go visit a nearby military base >Walk 3 km to the bus stop >Tard asks if he can go to the bathroom > Officer says no >1'5 hours in the bus >Doesn't go to the bus' bathroom for some reason >We get to the base >We form up at the hangar/hall >200 kids and many military personnel >the tard starts pissing himself >everybody looking and laughing, even the soldiers were laughing >the sergeant just looks away with dissapointment >goes back to the base with the same pant >Mfw we were the piss company for the rest of the camp

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Anon plays vidya | /r/Greentext

>be me as a child >spend all day everyday playing video games >fake sickness to stay home and play starcraft >be teen and keep playing vidya >skip school to stay competitive in online shooters >end up dropping out of high school >on welfare living with parents as a 28 year old useless hedonist >still playing video games everyday as an adult >spend what little money I have on alcohol, weed and steam games that can't be torrented >would rather do this than anything else >stalk old mates on facebook and laugh at their wagie positions and being married to women past their prime and forced to take care of future slaves (kids) F--- school and f--- work. I will never work a day in my life. I will never contribute anything to this society. My life is video games only.
>be me as a child >spend all day everyday playing video games >fake sickness to stay home and play starcraft >be teen and keep playing vidya >skip school to stay competitive in online shooters >end up dropping out of high school >on welfare living with parents as a 28 year old useless hedonist >still playing video games everyday as an adult >spend what little money I have on alcohol, weed and steam games that can't be torrented >would rather do this than anything else >stalk old mates on facebook and laugh at their wagie positions and being married to women past their prime and forced to take care of future slaves (kids) F--- school and f--- work. I will never work a day in my life. I will never contribute anything to this society. My life is video games only.

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Anon plays Persona | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)14:25:29 No.542333413 09/10 SA Evening Nanako Welcome home! maxresdefault (24).jpg 63 KB JPG >go to school >talk to no one >go home alone immediately after school >nobody greats you >go straight to bedroom and sit at computer until you fall asleep >never go to any events or festivals >never increase any stats Has anyone actually tried roleplaying themselves in Persona?
: Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)14:25:29 No.542333413 09/10 SA Evening Nanako Welcome home! maxresdefault (24).jpg 63 KB JPG >go to school >talk to no one >go home alone immediately after school >nobody greats you >go straight to bedroom and sit at computer until you fall asleep >never go to any events or festivals >never increase any stats Has anyone actually tried roleplaying themselves in Persona?

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Anon roleplays as a horse | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3 - 4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"
Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3 - 4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Anon cannot be fooled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/23/15(Wed)22:56:01 No.642863132 >>642860186 (OP) # >work at liqour store >see obviously underage girls enter and rush to the back >hear them whispering and discussing what to get >they grab heaven hill vodka >they try and check out and I ask for Il'd >they "lost" it but one says her dad says its ok she's 22 >laugh at them and tell them gtfo >same girl tells me her dad is rich blah blah >they leave and I start eating a pickle in a bag >drive thru bell rings >walk over and see its the same girls >they freak out one says that there should have been someone else >I stare at them eating my pickle >they speed off >good pickle
: Anonymous 09/23/15(Wed)22:56:01 No.642863132 >>642860186 (OP) # >work at liqour store >see obviously underage girls enter and rush to the back >hear them whispering and discussing what to get >they grab heaven hill vodka >they try and check out and I ask for Il'd >they "lost" it but one says her dad says its ok she's 22 >laugh at them and tell them gtfo >same girl tells me her dad is rich blah blah >they leave and I start eating a pickle in a bag >drive thru bell rings >walk over and see its the same girls >they freak out one says that there should have been someone else >I stare at them eating my pickle >they speed off >good pickle

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Anon hates reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why does Reddit suck? 01/29/21(Fri)17:59:06 No.62087455 Everytime I've ever used it to ask a question I honestly get more annoyed and frustrated with the people there than I ever would be on 4chan. Like l'll post a hypothetical question about the human body and 3 seconds later my question is down voted and I see 4 comments all asking "ARE YOU ASKING ON AVERAGE??" like yes you f------ retards what the hell do you think. Don't get me started on the karma system either, it just breeds group think and conformity, rewarding those with the correct opinions and punishing those who step out of line. Which is woefully ironic considering Reddit sees itself as some 10 KB PNG bastion of individuality. 13 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)18:32:07 No.62087836 >>62087788 # >>How does this type of system become and remain popular? Internet points. that's it. this also goes for why people crack games for free. internet attention is one hell of drug.
: Anonymous Why does Reddit suck? 01/29/21(Fri)17:59:06 No.62087455 Everytime I've ever used it to ask a question I honestly get more annoyed and frustrated with the people there than I ever would be on 4chan. Like l'll post a hypothetical question about the human body and 3 seconds later my question is down voted and I see 4 comments all asking "ARE YOU ASKING ON AVERAGE??" like yes you f------ retards what the hell do you think. Don't get me started on the karma system either, it just breeds group think and conformity, rewarding those with the correct opinions and punishing those who step out of line. Which is woefully ironic considering Reddit sees itself as some 10 KB PNG bastion of individuality. 13 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)18:32:07 No.62087836 >>62087788 # >>How does this type of system become and remain popular? Internet points. that's it. this also goes for why people crack games for free. internet attention is one hell of drug.

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Spartacus was based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)03:09:50 No.846048991 1552441123321.jpg 333 KB JPG >9ad >these feathered-hat wearing n----- roll up to your backwater barbaroid village >CAESAR SANCTAE VRBIS ROMAE AVGVSTVS, NOVVM LEGATVM AD GERMANIVM MISIT, SENATOREM PUBLIVM QVINCTILIVM VARVM: >POSTHAC, ROMA TRIBVTA VOSTRA NON AMPLIVS EST REMISSVRA >VARVS EXIGIT AB OMNI TRIBV PRETIVM VICENVM BOVM VEL QVINQVAGENVM PONDERVM FRVMENTI CENTENARII >SPATIVM VOBIS EST TRIDVVM how do you respond, /b/?
: Anonymous 01/30/21(Sat)03:09:50 No.846048991 1552441123321.jpg 333 KB JPG >9ad >these feathered-hat wearing n----- roll up to your backwater barbaroid village >CAESAR SANCTAE VRBIS ROMAE AVGVSTVS, NOVVM LEGATVM AD GERMANIVM MISIT, SENATOREM PUBLIVM QVINCTILIVM VARVM: >POSTHAC, ROMA TRIBVTA VOSTRA NON AMPLIVS EST REMISSVRA >VARVS EXIGIT AB OMNI TRIBV PRETIVM VICENVM BOVM VEL QVINQVAGENVM PONDERVM FRVMENTI CENTENARII >SPATIVM VOBIS EST TRIDVVM how do you respond, /b/?

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Reposting this gem from 2014, because it feels relevant in light of everything going on. | /r/Greentext

File: 1395093168358. png-(305 KB, 495x470, 1394387815629.png) O First National Bank of Gamestop Anonymous 03/17/14(Mon)14:52 UTC-7 No.235956257 Replies: Does anyone else use Gamestop as a bank? I got really p----- off with US Bank because I kept overdrafting my account even though I opted out, and the same thing happened with my credit union when I got a debit card. Now whenever I get paid I go preorder a whole shitload of games. Whenever I need money, I go to the nearest gamestop and ask for my money back on a game I don't want and make a withdrawal. The lines are shorter at gamestop than at the bank and I can trade in old games and have money go straight to my savings account. Gamestops are just as prevalent as banks in my town and I work at a mall so it's even more convenient than running an errand to the bank or using an ATM and getting charged. The gamestop people are starting to catch on that I'm just moving money around and only buying one preordered game a year, if that, but there isn't s--- they can do about it. The best part is, since I always preorder every game coming out I'm still guaranteed to get all the exclusive content whether or not I'm sure I want a certain game. It's like they're rewarding me for banking with them. O Anonymous 03/17/14(Mon)14:56 UTC-7 No.235956687 Replies: 22235957157 >>235956257 (OP) I can't decide if you're retarded or brilliant.
File: 1395093168358. png-(305 KB, 495x470, 1394387815629.png) O First National Bank of Gamestop Anonymous 03/17/14(Mon)14:52 UTC-7 No.235956257 Replies: Does anyone else use Gamestop as a bank? I got really p----- off with US Bank because I kept overdrafting my account even though I opted out, and the same thing happened with my credit union when I got a debit card. Now whenever I get paid I go preorder a whole shitload of games. Whenever I need money, I go to the nearest gamestop and ask for my money back on a game I don't want and make a withdrawal. The lines are shorter at gamestop than at the bank and I can trade in old games and have money go straight to my savings account. Gamestops are just as prevalent as banks in my town and I work at a mall so it's even more convenient than running an errand to the bank or using an ATM and getting charged. The gamestop people are starting to catch on that I'm just moving money around and only buying one preordered game a year, if that, but there isn't s--- they can do about it. The best part is, since I always preorder every game coming out I'm still guaranteed to get all the exclusive content whether or not I'm sure I want a certain game. It's like they're rewarding me for banking with them. O Anonymous 03/17/14(Mon)14:56 UTC-7 No.235956687 Replies: 22235957157 >>235956257 (OP) I can't decide if you're retarded or brilliant.

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/pol/ is impressed by the ingenuity of Democrat run cities. | /r/Greentext

File: 1493882366566.jpg (104 KB, 270x400) O Anonymous (ID: VikC70M6 No.305678002 01/29/21(Fri)13:11:04 >NYC and LA are despised for having an unbearably high cost of living >Everyone in the city is a dirt poor junkie stealing, s------- on the streets, r-----, and begging for money How is that even possible *thinking sounds*
File: 1493882366566.jpg (104 KB, 270x400) O Anonymous (ID: VikC70M6 No.305678002 01/29/21(Fri)13:11:04 >NYC and LA are despised for having an unbearably high cost of living >Everyone in the city is a dirt poor junkie stealing, s------- on the streets, r-----, and begging for money How is that even possible *thinking sounds*

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Anon believes in flat earth | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Flat Earther >Friend works at NASA >Gives me a ticket to go to outer space >He said it'll change my views >Don'tbelievehim.png 65 KB JPG >Go to outer space >See that the Earth is round >wtfman.jpg >This can't be real >Realize NASA must have hacked my eyes
>Be me >Flat Earther >Friend works at NASA >Gives me a ticket to go to outer space >He said it'll change my views >Don'tbelievehim.png 65 KB JPG >Go to outer space >See that the Earth is round >wtfman.jpg >This can't be real >Realize NASA must have hacked my eyes

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Anon is in cub scouts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/29/21 (Fri)20:38:54 No.846084121 >in cub scouts >spending night at scout masters cabin >he bumps into wall >'oowwie anon! I got a booboo on my weewee! Can you use your tight a------ to kiss it and make it 46 KB PNG feel better?' >walk out Wasnt going to fall for that for a 10th time
: Anonymous 01/29/21 (Fri)20:38:54 No.846084121 >in cub scouts >spending night at scout masters cabin >he bumps into wall >'oowwie anon! I got a booboo on my weewee! Can you use your tight a------ to kiss it and make it 46 KB PNG feel better?' >walk out Wasnt going to fall for that for a 10th time

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Anon feeling suicidal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E 12/28/20(Mon)20:43:20 No.61598590 I've been watching The Shining obsessively, and now I'm contemplating freezing to death as a method of suicide. It would be so easy to get into the swimming pool at night and wait for hypothermia and then drown while unconscious. There would be no risk of 76 KB JPG being revived with frostbite. I think I have the guts to do it this way. Nothing is making my life unliveable, I'm normally satisfied with my existence. I wasn't even feeling suicidal until I watched The Shining four times in one day, and now I feel closer to death than I have ever been. Should I tell my parents to drain the pool? I'm feeling really disturbed right now. : Anonymous 12/28/20(Mon)20:44:27 No.61598607 >>61598590 (OP) # You should go through with it and see if it works. Feel free to haunt me, I could use some company.
: Anonymous E 12/28/20(Mon)20:43:20 No.61598590 I've been watching The Shining obsessively, and now I'm contemplating freezing to death as a method of suicide. It would be so easy to get into the swimming pool at night and wait for hypothermia and then drown while unconscious. There would be no risk of 76 KB JPG being revived with frostbite. I think I have the guts to do it this way. Nothing is making my life unliveable, I'm normally satisfied with my existence. I wasn't even feeling suicidal until I watched The Shining four times in one day, and now I feel closer to death than I have ever been. Should I tell my parents to drain the pool? I'm feeling really disturbed right now. : Anonymous 12/28/20(Mon)20:44:27 No.61598607 >>61598590 (OP) # You should go through with it and see if it works. Feel free to haunt me, I could use some company.

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