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Anon doesn't know war | /r/Greentext

aab4b10cb33410d587a7191e363e00d2.jpg 52 KB JPG >be me >have robot friends during WW2 >we're in our comfy foxholes >drinking some hot joe Why does WW2 look so aesthetic? : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)19:03:50 No.62009417 >>62009182 (OP) # >Dan gets up to s--- and steps on a Land mine >F--- F--- F--- the perimeter was supposed to be clear >We all rush to help him >One legs gone the other a mangled mess >Belly cut open by shrapnel, he's desperately trying to hold his intestines in >On the grass a mixture of s--- and Blood >He's crying and screamin for his mother >John gives him double the dose of morphine to lessen his suffering >Still crying, gives me a letter he was supposed to send to his girlfriend back home >Begs me to tell her he died heroically >Finally loses consciusness >Take his body to home base and get back in the Fox hole >Cant forget his cries >I Need to s--- too >Could have been me
aab4b10cb33410d587a7191e363e00d2.jpg 52 KB JPG >be me >have robot friends during WW2 >we're in our comfy foxholes >drinking some hot joe Why does WW2 look so aesthetic? : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)19:03:50 No.62009417 >>62009182 (OP) # >Dan gets up to s--- and steps on a Land mine >F--- F--- F--- the perimeter was supposed to be clear >We all rush to help him >One legs gone the other a mangled mess >Belly cut open by shrapnel, he's desperately trying to hold his intestines in >On the grass a mixture of s--- and Blood >He's crying and screamin for his mother >John gives him double the dose of morphine to lessen his suffering >Still crying, gives me a letter he was supposed to send to his girlfriend back home >Begs me to tell her he died heroically >Finally loses consciusness >Take his body to home base and get back in the Fox hole >Cant forget his cries >I Need to s--- too >Could have been me

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Anon is 5'8 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)10:31:55 No.46352572 ► >>46352656 >>46352799 >>46343607 (OP) >Go to police station to get a new passport >Stand against the wall to measure height >It says 177 cm >Old one states that my height is 178 >"Looks like you've shrunk" the old lady says as she picks me up and place me on her desk >"Alright little man, sign here" >My signature is difficult to read as I have to hold pencil with both arms while crying >Shamefully exist the police station through the dog hatch
Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)10:31:55 No.46352572 ► >>46352656 >>46352799 >>46343607 (OP) >Go to police station to get a new passport >Stand against the wall to measure height >It says 177 cm >Old one states that my height is 178 >"Looks like you've shrunk" the old lady says as she picks me up and place me on her desk >"Alright little man, sign here" >My signature is difficult to read as I have to hold pencil with both arms while crying >Shamefully exist the police station through the dog hatch

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Anon describes a historical possibility | /r/Greentext

dqv7qdxijg341.jpg 77 KB JPG How would history change if there was a giant disembodied hand that zooms around the planet and crushes one random person with its index finger every day? It's called The Hand and it's always slightly faster than you.
dqv7qdxijg341.jpg 77 KB JPG How would history change if there was a giant disembodied hand that zooms around the planet and crushes one random person with its index finger every day? It's called The Hand and it's always slightly faster than you.

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Anon changes his mind | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/27/13(Sun)20:15:03 UTC-4 No.513020284 Replies: 22513022101 »5130 ITT. Fastfood stories ril start >be me living at uni >go to Subway to pick up some lunch before class >down time, only 2 other people in there >employee hears the bell and comes out from the back >9/10 skinny blond >holding her phone up to her ear but not talking >I wait a bit and she gives me look >figure she's on hold and I'd better order >Ya, 'Il have a 6-inch BLT on Italian and- >c--- cuts me off >"Cant you see I'm on the f------ phone?r >mtw swait for 2 minutes, 3 more people get in line behind me >finally she finishes listening to her phone >"Alright, the hell do you want?" >dat filename >her mistake was bitching at me, a former Subway employee >time to f--- up her day >order a footlong double-meat meatball sub on honey wheat bread >that bread tears easier than any other and meatball subs are impossible to close correctly with a regular amount of meatballs >make her microwave that s--- for 2 minutes >she tries to use napkins to take it out so she's not burned >fails miserably >order all the vegies >she tries to place a tiny bit of each kind on it >make her double everything >guy behind me laughing his ass off >bread is stretched completely open and tearing >time to destroy this sandwich for sure >ask for oil, say tell her l say when she's used enough >wait for her to stop on her own >make her double that >oil bottle is basically empty >added an assortment of other sauces >just picked the ones that would dye her uniform the best colors >sandwich is 40% sauces >she calls me an a------ and attempts to close the damn thing >sandwich immediaty spews all of its contents all over her uniform, $200 jeans, and 500 shoes >she starts crying >lean over the counter >Tve changed my mind, I'd like a 6-inch BLT on Italian."
Anonymous 10/27/13(Sun)20:15:03 UTC-4 No.513020284 Replies: 22513022101 »5130 ITT. Fastfood stories ril start >be me living at uni >go to Subway to pick up some lunch before class >down time, only 2 other people in there >employee hears the bell and comes out from the back >9/10 skinny blond >holding her phone up to her ear but not talking >I wait a bit and she gives me look >figure she's on hold and I'd better order >Ya, 'Il have a 6-inch BLT on Italian and- >c--- cuts me off >"Cant you see I'm on the f------ phone?r >mtw swait for 2 minutes, 3 more people get in line behind me >finally she finishes listening to her phone >"Alright, the hell do you want?" >dat filename >her mistake was bitching at me, a former Subway employee >time to f--- up her day >order a footlong double-meat meatball sub on honey wheat bread >that bread tears easier than any other and meatball subs are impossible to close correctly with a regular amount of meatballs >make her microwave that s--- for 2 minutes >she tries to use napkins to take it out so she's not burned >fails miserably >order all the vegies >she tries to place a tiny bit of each kind on it >make her double everything >guy behind me laughing his ass off >bread is stretched completely open and tearing >time to destroy this sandwich for sure >ask for oil, say tell her l say when she's used enough >wait for her to stop on her own >make her double that >oil bottle is basically empty >added an assortment of other sauces >just picked the ones that would dye her uniform the best colors >sandwich is 40% sauces >she calls me an a------ and attempts to close the damn thing >sandwich immediaty spews all of its contents all over her uniform, $200 jeans, and 500 shoes >she starts crying >lean over the counter >Tve changed my mind, I'd like a 6-inch BLT on Italian."

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Anon is belle delphine | /r/Greentext

File: 303C378A-F84E-4F1E-A497-B(.).jpg (46 KB, 510x451) Anonymous (ID: LimqxmqT) 05/24/20(Sun)16:42:31 No.258658039 >Be white >Be thin >aww yeah thinandwhiteprivilege.png >Have wealthy parents >Attend expensive private school in the UK thanks to wealthy parents >Become internet phenomenon in 2010s >Siblings are relatively unknown >Loved and hated in equal measure >Criticized by jealous fat western feminists >Darling of alt-right autistic western weeaboos >Subject of thousands of internet memes created by incels on facebook, reddit, 4chan etc. >Be Bashar al-Assad Pic unrelated
File: 303C378A-F84E-4F1E-A497-B(.).jpg (46 KB, 510x451) Anonymous (ID: LimqxmqT) 05/24/20(Sun)16:42:31 No.258658039 >Be white >Be thin >aww yeah thinandwhiteprivilege.png >Have wealthy parents >Attend expensive private school in the UK thanks to wealthy parents >Become internet phenomenon in 2010s >Siblings are relatively unknown >Loved and hated in equal measure >Criticized by jealous fat western feminists >Darling of alt-right autistic western weeaboos >Subject of thousands of internet memes created by incels on facebook, reddit, 4chan etc. >Be Bashar al-Assad Pic unrelated

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Anon is happy | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea 31 KB PNG >l will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy
| Anonymous 02/13/19(Wed)13:55:42 No.792533342 >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea 31 KB PNG >l will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy

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anon sleeps on his friends couch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)15:04:47 No.845659188 >crashing on couch at friends house >trying to sleep >hear him talking on phone in other room >sounds like he is having phone 26 KB JPG sex >he farts loudly >'did you hear that baby?" >'you like it when daddy s---- himself? >'no im naked so it went ALL over the chair' >'not the same one from fajita night last week. My friend is sleeping on that one' >quickly get up and leave >go home and take 20 boiling showers >still haven't replied to any of his texts or calls
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)15:04:47 No.845659188 >crashing on couch at friends house >trying to sleep >hear him talking on phone in other room >sounds like he is having phone 26 KB JPG sex >he farts loudly >'did you hear that baby?" >'you like it when daddy s---- himself? >'no im naked so it went ALL over the chair' >'not the same one from fajita night last week. My friend is sleeping on that one' >quickly get up and leave >go home and take 20 boiling showers >still haven't replied to any of his texts or calls

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Anon likes steak | /r/Greentext

File: PXL 20210123 002217299.png (396 KB, 594x450) O Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)18:47:53 No.15454308 >15454316 2>15 >put steak in boiling water with spaghetti >one pot meal done in 15 minutes Why arent more people doing this? Best steak I've ever eaten. O Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)18:48:51 No.15454316 File: 6glob7hi.jpg (94 KB, 478x456) >>15456350 >>15454308 (OP)
File: PXL 20210123 002217299.png (396 KB, 594x450) O Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)18:47:53 No.15454308 >15454316 2>15 >put steak in boiling water with spaghetti >one pot meal done in 15 minutes Why arent more people doing this? Best steak I've ever eaten. O Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)18:48:51 No.15454316 File: 6glob7hi.jpg (94 KB, 478x456) >>15456350 >>15454308 (OP)

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Anon speaks to women | /r/Greentext


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anon goes back to sleep | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)00:48:17 No.845615238 >wake up >notice my right man boob popped out of shirt >j------- to it glistening in the morning light 51 KB JPG >c-- >fall back asleep >brother who lives in same room jacks off to my t---- as well >we both are asleep
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)00:48:17 No.845615238 >wake up >notice my right man boob popped out of shirt >j------- to it glistening in the morning light 51 KB JPG >c-- >fall back asleep >brother who lives in same room jacks off to my t---- as well >we both are asleep

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Anon's first job | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/20/16(Sun)00:18:17 No.712346585 File: retarded.jpg (255 KB, 900x900) >be me >15 >first job >golf course >do a little bit of everything >random saturday in July >prepping for a golf outing >manager asks me to put pop in bucket with ice >pic related >why would she want me to do this? >ask her >"just put the pop in the bucket anon" >okay I just don't... >"its not that hard...just put it in the bucket with ice" >okay >begin opening open pop >open can by f------ can >pouring pop into bucket with ice >l get about 75 cans in >cant figure out why im doing this >manager opens up door >"w-- are you doing?!" >she demonstrates for me >"just put the cans in the bucket with ice" >my f------ life sucks >think about how many people had a kek at my expense that night >f---
Anonymous 11/20/16(Sun)00:18:17 No.712346585 File: retarded.jpg (255 KB, 900x900) >be me >15 >first job >golf course >do a little bit of everything >random saturday in July >prepping for a golf outing >manager asks me to put pop in bucket with ice >pic related >why would she want me to do this? >ask her >"just put the pop in the bucket anon" >okay I just don't... >"its not that hard...just put it in the bucket with ice" >okay >begin opening open pop >open can by f------ can >pouring pop into bucket with ice >l get about 75 cans in >cant figure out why im doing this >manager opens up door >"w-- are you doing?!" >she demonstrates for me >"just put the cans in the bucket with ice" >my f------ life sucks >think about how many people had a kek at my expense that night >f---

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Anon likes reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)00:00:43 No.845640835 >r/greentext Reddit f--- need to f--- off 843 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/25/21(Mon)00:00:43 No.845640835 >r/greentext Reddit f--- need to f--- off 843 KB JPG

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Anon uses 100% of brain | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 12/11/20(Fri)23:34:30 No.61342048 (Reply] >one apple a day keeps the doctor away >eat 950,000 apples every day >every doctor in the country is now incapacitated >the United States succumb to corona and the americans go extinct Anonymous 12/11/20(Fri)23:42:31 No.61342151 type of content i come to this place for
O Anonymous 12/11/20(Fri)23:34:30 No.61342048 (Reply] >one apple a day keeps the doctor away >eat 950,000 apples every day >every doctor in the country is now incapacitated >the United States succumb to corona and the americans go extinct Anonymous 12/11/20(Fri)23:42:31 No.61342151 type of content i come to this place for

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Anon passes driving exam | /r/Greentext

>be me >have constant left-right disorientation >18 y/o >take driving test >driving instructor tells me to turn left >turn right >"I told you to turn left, Anon!" 28 KB JPG >"Well, the earth is round, so when I go right, I will eventually come out on the left side." >driving instructor chuckles >I pass the exam imgflip.com
>be me >have constant left-right disorientation >18 y/o >take driving test >driving instructor tells me to turn left >turn right >"I told you to turn left, Anon!" 28 KB JPG >"Well, the earth is round, so when I go right, I will eventually come out on the left side." >driving instructor chuckles >I pass the exam imgflip.com

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Anon goes to school | /r/Greentext


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Anon's gf is getting an abortion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/21(Tue)20:36:54 No.845257423 >girlfriend won't stop crying because she got an abortion >get tired of hearing her s-- >go to clinic and dig out fetus from dumpster >glue googly eyes on it >walk in with it while saying 'mom 232 KB PNG im home' >she cries even harder Jesus, nothing makes this baby killer happy
: Anonymous 01/19/21(Tue)20:36:54 No.845257423 >girlfriend won't stop crying because she got an abortion >get tired of hearing her s-- >go to clinic and dig out fetus from dumpster >glue googly eyes on it >walk in with it while saying 'mom 232 KB PNG im home' >she cries even harder Jesus, nothing makes this baby killer happy

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anon goes to the doctor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)09:16:28 No.845638579 >can't s--- for days >finally go to doctor >tell him i've tried everything >well anon, have you tried this?' >he buttfucks me >go to bathroom >can s--- again >leave doctor office a sore but happy man 264 KB PNG This doctor is a miracle man!!!
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)09:16:28 No.845638579 >can't s--- for days >finally go to doctor >tell him i've tried everything >well anon, have you tried this?' >he buttfucks me >go to bathroom >can s--- again >leave doctor office a sore but happy man 264 KB PNG This doctor is a miracle man!!!

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Anon plays Minecraft with his friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21 (Sun)12:32:59 No.62002177 >planned on overdosing on meds today >my friend randomly dm's me on insta asking if I'm okay >we talk about life for a bit >he invites me to his minecraft 22 KB JPG server and discord >we call and play for a bit >feel a bit more valued and loved >don't want to kill myself today anymore t's the little things anons, ask a friend how they're doing. some of us really need it.
: Anonymous 01/24/21 (Sun)12:32:59 No.62002177 >planned on overdosing on meds today >my friend randomly dm's me on insta asking if I'm okay >we talk about life for a bit >he invites me to his minecraft 22 KB JPG server and discord >we call and play for a bit >feel a bit more valued and loved >don't want to kill myself today anymore t's the little things anons, ask a friend how they're doing. some of us really need it.

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Anon walks a dog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)18:53:19 No.845566907 >be me >14M living in Small city in Scotland >average 6/10 but friends like to exaggerate >walking dog late on Friday night > a group of girls who are in my 716 KB JPG year stumble by >drunk obviously >try to clap dog >dog lets them >they don't recognise me >start asking me my name where I'm from etc etc >make up lies whatever let's me get back home earlier to watch AOT S4 >Come up with Chad name and Chad backstory >they seem interested or some do >one girl asks for my Snapchat >I said I don't use it (lie) >she's fine with it >wishes me a good night >wake up next day >realise I am a f------ idiot >put M1Garand in my mouth >too much of a p---- to pull trigger >at some speech later on that night >small kid comes up to me and tells me I have an old friend >"Hey Reiner, It's been four years." >oh god oh f---
: Anonymous 01/23/21(Sat)18:53:19 No.845566907 >be me >14M living in Small city in Scotland >average 6/10 but friends like to exaggerate >walking dog late on Friday night > a group of girls who are in my 716 KB JPG year stumble by >drunk obviously >try to clap dog >dog lets them >they don't recognise me >start asking me my name where I'm from etc etc >make up lies whatever let's me get back home earlier to watch AOT S4 >Come up with Chad name and Chad backstory >they seem interested or some do >one girl asks for my Snapchat >I said I don't use it (lie) >she's fine with it >wishes me a good night >wake up next day >realise I am a f------ idiot >put M1Garand in my mouth >too much of a p---- to pull trigger >at some speech later on that night >small kid comes up to me and tells me I have an old friend >"Hey Reiner, It's been four years." >oh god oh f---

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Anon is a goddam king | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)16:08:20 No.62004095 >download tinder years ago >don't really use it. When I did use it I swiped right on just about everyone, so I randomly get matches a few times a week from girls I swiped right on ages ago >Cute girl messages me >only lives 1 mile away 25 KB PNG >we talk for a bit >she is really friendly and says she wants to hang out tonight >she mentions how I'm playing guitar in one of my pictures >says some cheesy line "well maybe we could play tonight :)" >send her my address >she comes over >l start playing guitar >at first she's really happy and enjoying it, then after 20 minutes of me playing she leans back onto the bed and puts her leg over me >she's wearing a short skirt, I can see her underwear >w-- >starts rubbing my chest and pushing her face into my neck >I keep playing guitar >she rubs my thigh right next to my d--- >politely brush her hand aside and keep playing guitar >she says "what's wrong? I don't get you." >tell her I just want to literally play, not do anything sexual >"why not?" >point to picture of Jesus I have on my wall >she laughs snidely >realizes I'm not joking around >she actually gets up, puts on her shoes, and leaves without saying anything apparently she wasn't 1 mile away, she was in a city that's 45 minutes away when she messaged me. She drove nearly an hour to see me. Not sure why she got mad. I never flirted back with her, was very passive, and I told her l'm Christian. to be honest it is actually pretty funny and I think l'll keep tinder on my phone just because I feel like I did a good thing. 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)16:09:48 No.62004107 >>62004095 (OP) # King s--- you passed the test imgflip.com
: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)16:08:20 No.62004095 >download tinder years ago >don't really use it. When I did use it I swiped right on just about everyone, so I randomly get matches a few times a week from girls I swiped right on ages ago >Cute girl messages me >only lives 1 mile away 25 KB PNG >we talk for a bit >she is really friendly and says she wants to hang out tonight >she mentions how I'm playing guitar in one of my pictures >says some cheesy line "well maybe we could play tonight :)" >send her my address >she comes over >l start playing guitar >at first she's really happy and enjoying it, then after 20 minutes of me playing she leans back onto the bed and puts her leg over me >she's wearing a short skirt, I can see her underwear >w-- >starts rubbing my chest and pushing her face into my neck >I keep playing guitar >she rubs my thigh right next to my d--- >politely brush her hand aside and keep playing guitar >she says "what's wrong? I don't get you." >tell her I just want to literally play, not do anything sexual >"why not?" >point to picture of Jesus I have on my wall >she laughs snidely >realizes I'm not joking around >she actually gets up, puts on her shoes, and leaves without saying anything apparently she wasn't 1 mile away, she was in a city that's 45 minutes away when she messaged me. She drove nearly an hour to see me. Not sure why she got mad. I never flirted back with her, was very passive, and I told her l'm Christian. to be honest it is actually pretty funny and I think l'll keep tinder on my phone just because I feel like I did a good thing. 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)16:09:48 No.62004107 >>62004095 (OP) # King s--- you passed the test imgflip.com

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