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Anon has stupid | /r/Greentext

O File: 1585233353477.png (888 KB, 850x660) O Moments of stupidity Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)19:24:46 No.61952752 [Reply] ► >>61953071 >>61953117 >>61953193 Here's a story that might give you a chuckle. >15 at the time >cousin was 17 >hanging out at her house because it was summer and they had a pool >Get caught looking at her t--- >she decided to tease me by stripping and going skinny dipping >convinced me to also skinny dip and stuff started getting hot and heavy >start getting it on and we do the deed on the poolside >about 10 minutes later my uncle storms out screaming "the f--- are you doing?" >seperates us and started berating his daughter >"What's wrong with you putting your hands on your special needs cousin?" He yelled >I then immediately open my mouth and say "we have a special needs cousin that you had sex with?" >uncle turns and just had a blank emotionless face. This empty expression felt like it went on for 10 minutes before he just sent his daughter inside the house and then gave me a car ride home >uncle didn't say a word til we got to my parents house and simply said "your a good kid" It was like 6 years later while talking a shower that it finally hit me that he was talking about me and I was too stupid to realize. * O Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)19:54:33 No.61953071 File: 1610989500746.jpg (93 KB, 385x390) >>61952752 (OP) f------ kek dude laughed so hard at second to last line
O File: 1585233353477.png (888 KB, 850x660) O Moments of stupidity Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)19:24:46 No.61952752 [Reply] ► >>61953071 >>61953117 >>61953193 Here's a story that might give you a chuckle. >15 at the time >cousin was 17 >hanging out at her house because it was summer and they had a pool >Get caught looking at her t--- >she decided to tease me by stripping and going skinny dipping >convinced me to also skinny dip and stuff started getting hot and heavy >start getting it on and we do the deed on the poolside >about 10 minutes later my uncle storms out screaming "the f--- are you doing?" >seperates us and started berating his daughter >"What's wrong with you putting your hands on your special needs cousin?" He yelled >I then immediately open my mouth and say "we have a special needs cousin that you had sex with?" >uncle turns and just had a blank emotionless face. This empty expression felt like it went on for 10 minutes before he just sent his daughter inside the house and then gave me a car ride home >uncle didn't say a word til we got to my parents house and simply said "your a good kid" It was like 6 years later while talking a shower that it finally hit me that he was talking about me and I was too stupid to realize. * O Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)19:54:33 No.61953071 File: 1610989500746.jpg (93 KB, 385x390) >>61952752 (OP) f------ kek dude laughed so hard at second to last line

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Anon is a corporate shill | /r/Greentext

1610684789942.png 57 KB PNG >GrubHub perks give you deals on the food you love. The kind of deals that make you boogie. Get the food you love, with perks from GrubHub! Grub what you love!
1610684789942.png 57 KB PNG >GrubHub perks give you deals on the food you love. The kind of deals that make you boogie. Get the food you love, with perks from GrubHub! Grub what you love!

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What about Rebecca? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/19(Sun)16:00:54 No.53500811 >bf gets fit >dumps me four months ago >immediately starts dating some skinny blonde c--- called rebecca 28 KB JPG >last night he drunk-dialled me >asked me to come over >we have sex >afterwards i ask "so are we together again?" >"don't be stupid anon. what about rebecca?"
: Anonymous 07/21/19(Sun)16:00:54 No.53500811 >bf gets fit >dumps me four months ago >immediately starts dating some skinny blonde c--- called rebecca 28 KB JPG >last night he drunk-dialled me >asked me to come over >we have sex >afterwards i ask "so are we together again?" >"don't be stupid anon. what about rebecca?"

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Anon is in denial. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)00:55:22 No.845360641 >be i >doing my normal edge-sesh for the night >getting kinda bored tbh, paying more attention to the tv than the p--- on my phone >see "BBW Fart Comp" in the 57 KB JPG suggestions >"haha this will be funny" >first girl is easily 450 pounds of nothing but pure american woman >taken aback by the sheer amount of cream colored ass filling my screen immediately >slightly blinded by the amount of light it's casting from my phone screen >she whispers something, so I turn my volume up to hear it >as my volume reaches the highest setting... BRRRRAAAAAAAPPPP!! >rattling my earbuds with the sheer bassy might of this womans ass >c-- instantly >immediately close the incognito window, turn my phone off >go to bed disgusted with myself >three days later >thinkin about them braps... guys i don't want a fart fetish what do i do please help please : Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)01:14:31 No.845361885 >I don't want a fart fetish I'm sorry but it seems to be too late for that 1.13 MB GIF
: Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)00:55:22 No.845360641 >be i >doing my normal edge-sesh for the night >getting kinda bored tbh, paying more attention to the tv than the p--- on my phone >see "BBW Fart Comp" in the 57 KB JPG suggestions >"haha this will be funny" >first girl is easily 450 pounds of nothing but pure american woman >taken aback by the sheer amount of cream colored ass filling my screen immediately >slightly blinded by the amount of light it's casting from my phone screen >she whispers something, so I turn my volume up to hear it >as my volume reaches the highest setting... BRRRRAAAAAAAPPPP!! >rattling my earbuds with the sheer bassy might of this womans ass >c-- instantly >immediately close the incognito window, turn my phone off >go to bed disgusted with myself >three days later >thinkin about them braps... guys i don't want a fart fetish what do i do please help please : Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)01:14:31 No.845361885 >I don't want a fart fetish I'm sorry but it seems to be too late for that 1.13 MB GIF

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Anon is itchy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/21 (Wed)19:48:53 No.61954251 itch itch >be me, 14 >shave pubes off because other friends did it >2 days later starts itching like hell >oh god it itches >oh god it itches so good 263 KB PNG >yesss aawwww itch so good >mfw cant resist shaving pubes every few days to get itchy feeling >mfw addicted to itching damn
: Anonymous 01/20/21 (Wed)19:48:53 No.61954251 itch itch >be me, 14 >shave pubes off because other friends did it >2 days later starts itching like hell >oh god it itches >oh god it itches so good 263 KB PNG >yesss aawwww itch so good >mfw cant resist shaving pubes every few days to get itchy feeling >mfw addicted to itching damn

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Anon tips the pizza man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous = 10/21/20(Wed)19:33:57 No.99006488 >Hi anon, that'll be $15 + tip >Hand him 3 five dollar bills and some Radiohead CDs Has anyone else tipped the pizza guy in Radiohead CDs before? 1.8 MB PNG
: Anonymous = 10/21/20(Wed)19:33:57 No.99006488 >Hi anon, that'll be $15 + tip >Hand him 3 five dollar bills and some Radiohead CDs Has anyone else tipped the pizza guy in Radiohead CDs before? 1.8 MB PNG

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Anon hits too close to home... | /r/Greentext

File: cc11ee36ef469abab1f349ebb(...).jpg (565 KB, 1200x1879) O Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)07:40:14 No.61955234 >>61955388 would you date a double amputee girl? O Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)07:54:29 No.61955388 File: d90.jpg (91 KB, 600x532) >>61955234 (OP) i would date any girl as long as she f------ loved me [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [DAuto]
File: cc11ee36ef469abab1f349ebb(...).jpg (565 KB, 1200x1879) O Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)07:40:14 No.61955234 >>61955388 would you date a double amputee girl? O Anonymous 01/21/21(Thu)07:54:29 No.61955388 File: d90.jpg (91 KB, 600x532) >>61955234 (OP) i would date any girl as long as she f------ loved me [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [DAuto]

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Anon is at sea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/04/18(Tue)11:05:08 No.779004157 >be me >manual labour f-- on a cargo ship in the atlantic >we make a detour to check out a shipwreck on an island >inside its cargo hold we find 29 KB JPG thousands of female dwarves >wat >romantic british coworker gets too close >one of them jumps on his face and clamps her p---- on his mouth >okay.png >takes 4 of us and a f------ crowbar to prize her off >get the f--- out of there >back on the ship, set sail again >having lunch with coworkers >british f-- starts to have a seizure >f------ baby bursts out of his chest and runs off >spend 3 hours cleaning up the blood and crumpets >few days later a fully grown dwarf is running around r----- people >it's my shift to go and hunt the r--- dwarf >carry a flamethrower into a ventilation shaft >turn my motion tracker on >it starts beeping I don't get paid enough for this s---
: Anonymous 09/04/18(Tue)11:05:08 No.779004157 >be me >manual labour f-- on a cargo ship in the atlantic >we make a detour to check out a shipwreck on an island >inside its cargo hold we find 29 KB JPG thousands of female dwarves >wat >romantic british coworker gets too close >one of them jumps on his face and clamps her p---- on his mouth >okay.png >takes 4 of us and a f------ crowbar to prize her off >get the f--- out of there >back on the ship, set sail again >having lunch with coworkers >british f-- starts to have a seizure >f------ baby bursts out of his chest and runs off >spend 3 hours cleaning up the blood and crumpets >few days later a fully grown dwarf is running around r----- people >it's my shift to go and hunt the r--- dwarf >carry a flamethrower into a ventilation shaft >turn my motion tracker on >it starts beeping I don't get paid enough for this s---

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i miss those times too | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/07/19(Fri)05:27:40 No.52792838 >be me >listening to old dubstep for nostalgia >remember doge, mlg, black ops 2 trickshot montages i miss those simpler times 124 KB JPG
: Anonymous 06/07/19(Fri)05:27:40 No.52792838 >be me >listening to old dubstep for nostalgia >remember doge, mlg, black ops 2 trickshot montages i miss those simpler times 124 KB JPG

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Anon is based and shartpilled | /r/Greentext

(first greentext btw) >be me >in online school >usually when I'm on the phone and I have to fart I mute my mic do my business and then unmute 19 KB JPG >in online school we are muted the entire time >have to fart >already muted >unmute my mic, let out the Hiroshima of farts, 11 seconds at the least >mute my mic >my teacher starts laughing >mfw how the f--- do I join back class after this
(first greentext btw) >be me >in online school >usually when I'm on the phone and I have to fart I mute my mic do my business and then unmute 19 KB JPG >in online school we are muted the entire time >have to fart >already muted >unmute my mic, let out the Hiroshima of farts, 11 seconds at the least >mute my mic >my teacher starts laughing >mfw how the f--- do I join back class after this

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Anon's fan wont stay up | /r/Greentext


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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)10:44:44 No.845311946 I am broken. | am beyond broken. I still don't know what's WE ARE happening. Why was today allowed to happen? what the f--- is going on? TRU 125 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)10:45:18 No.845311985 COFION DIERDISE >>845311946 (OP) # 20 KB JPG >>845312102 # : Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)10:46:14 No.845312046 LESS MAKEY THREADS Hint: you're retarded MORE TAKEY MEDS 65 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)10:44:44 No.845311946 I am broken. | am beyond broken. I still don't know what's WE ARE happening. Why was today allowed to happen? what the f--- is going on? TRU 125 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)10:45:18 No.845311985 COFION DIERDISE >>845311946 (OP) # 20 KB JPG >>845312102 # : Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)10:46:14 No.845312046 LESS MAKEY THREADS Hint: you're retarded MORE TAKEY MEDS 65 KB JPG

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anons dad is a hero | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)21:24:15 No.845349589 1608053155613.png 1.42 MB PNG >in boy scouts >scout master is r----- me >dad runs in >'hey pal, how about you f--- someone your own size' >dad pulls down pants >scout master starts to f--- dad >dad uses his a------ muscles to grab hold of scout master by d--- >slams scout master against wall >dad rapes scout master to death My dad, the hero!
: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)21:24:15 No.845349589 1608053155613.png 1.42 MB PNG >in boy scouts >scout master is r----- me >dad runs in >'hey pal, how about you f--- someone your own size' >dad pulls down pants >scout master starts to f--- dad >dad uses his a------ muscles to grab hold of scout master by d--- >slams scout master against wall >dad rapes scout master to death My dad, the hero!

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The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)14:54:10 No.845329227 >be me >high school, years ago >addicted to benzos bc anxiety (only weed now) >friend group has one girl >anorexic depressed goth/egirl, 7/10 but my type at the time 10 KB JPG >high af hanging at friends house >playing 5 finger fillet >stab my f------ hand, don't care bc benzo zombie at this point >she tells me to stab her too >do it >she presses her cut into yours >blood mixes >become siblings >says we can't f--- now bc it would be i----- What's the strangest excuse a girl has rejected you /b/?
: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)14:54:10 No.845329227 >be me >high school, years ago >addicted to benzos bc anxiety (only weed now) >friend group has one girl >anorexic depressed goth/egirl, 7/10 but my type at the time 10 KB JPG >high af hanging at friends house >playing 5 finger fillet >stab my f------ hand, don't care bc benzo zombie at this point >she tells me to stab her too >do it >she presses her cut into yours >blood mixes >become siblings >says we can't f--- now bc it would be i----- What's the strangest excuse a girl has rejected you /b/?

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things are looking up for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)19:26:14 No.845340737 >finally got good career >getting married to the love of my life in a few weeks >have our first kid on the way Thinking of killing myself. You know, for the lulz and such. Lol could you imagine the look on that stupid bitch's 67 KB PNG face?
: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)19:26:14 No.845340737 >finally got good career >getting married to the love of my life in a few weeks >have our first kid on the way Thinking of killing myself. You know, for the lulz and such. Lol could you imagine the look on that stupid bitch's 67 KB PNG face?

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Anon is gonna fall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)01:38:27 No.9368776 ANON NOO00 WE CANT DO THAT UNLESS WE ARE MARRIED 52 KB JPG : King's 01/17/21(Sun)01:43:34 No.9368787 | Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)01:44:43 No.9368789 ock iStock by y ge iStock iSto IStock Stock iry tmages iStock Gny Imaga ck Tstock iSt istockphoto-140253542-1024x1024.jpg 313 KB JPG PLEASE MIKU! JUST GRAB MY HAND! I'M GONNA FALL >>9369100 # >>9369277 # >>9369726 # >>9370007 # >>9370595 # >>9370785 # >>9374916 # >>9376261 #
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)01:38:27 No.9368776 ANON NOO00 WE CANT DO THAT UNLESS WE ARE MARRIED 52 KB JPG : King's 01/17/21(Sun)01:43:34 No.9368787 | Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)01:44:43 No.9368789 ock iStock by y ge iStock iSto IStock Stock iry tmages iStock Gny Imaga ck Tstock iSt istockphoto-140253542-1024x1024.jpg 313 KB JPG PLEASE MIKU! JUST GRAB MY HAND! I'M GONNA FALL >>9369100 # >>9369277 # >>9369726 # >>9370007 # >>9370595 # >>9370785 # >>9374916 # >>9376261 #

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Anon flies a J-20 | /r/Greentext


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OP the wall shitter | /r/Greentext


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Anon woke up Chris Breezy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: boi8mKM9 ) 04/25/14(Fri)14:11:39 No.543818057 > Be year 2040, women rule the world > Rihanna is their leader > Be stuck in concentration camp for men > Rihanna killing all the dudes because they found a way to reproduce without 83 KB PNG us > Group of us overpower gaurdesses > Be running > Get surrounded > standoff.PNG > all of a sudden a masked hero appears, with his schlong flapping in the wind > beats up all the women > sets all the dudes free > much wow, many thanks > takes mask off > mfw it was Chris Brown
Anonymous (ID: boi8mKM9 ) 04/25/14(Fri)14:11:39 No.543818057 > Be year 2040, women rule the world > Rihanna is their leader > Be stuck in concentration camp for men > Rihanna killing all the dudes because they found a way to reproduce without 83 KB PNG us > Group of us overpower gaurdesses > Be running > Get surrounded > standoff.PNG > all of a sudden a masked hero appears, with his schlong flapping in the wind > beats up all the women > sets all the dudes free > much wow, many thanks > takes mask off > mfw it was Chris Brown

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“Anon loves his dad” in 2070 after it’s screenshotted and reposted some more | /r/Greentext

>be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i dont get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other 29 KB JPG weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive ake dad
>be me >sad depressed >suicidal thoughts >dad notices >thinks it's because of my siblings >thinks i dont get enough attention >takes me to the planetarium every other 29 KB JPG weekend because i love space >falls asleep every time because he's working 12h a day >he always takes me >still alive ake dad

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