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Anon at the beach | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:21 No.6215899 >eating sandwich at the beach >skipping stones >watching the sunset and thinking about life >throw sandwich into ocean >bite rock People saw.
Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:21 No.6215899 >eating sandwich at the beach >skipping stones >watching the sunset and thinking about life >throw sandwich into ocean >bite rock People saw.

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Anon gets on Pluto | /r/Greentext

>be me >up all night watching the telly >roll a joint and watch the Jeremy Kyle I recorded >retard.jpeg >accidently recorded some show for wee kids >the host is a woman >birds like "Get a cardboard box and build a spaceship with me" >we're doing this. >l pause the show, put out the joint, and crash out my gaff >I finally come back with a huge cardboard box; the kind you can make a real spaceship fae >hit play and focus on the rest of the show >we're about to lift off in the spaceship me and the bird on TV >suddenly the edibles kick in >No need to go to the moon, I'm already on Pluto
>be me >up all night watching the telly >roll a joint and watch the Jeremy Kyle I recorded >retard.jpeg >accidently recorded some show for wee kids >the host is a woman >birds like "Get a cardboard box and build a spaceship with me" >we're doing this. >l pause the show, put out the joint, and crash out my gaff >I finally come back with a huge cardboard box; the kind you can make a real spaceship fae >hit play and focus on the rest of the show >we're about to lift off in the spaceship me and the bird on TV >suddenly the edibles kick in >No need to go to the moon, I'm already on Pluto

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Fucking boomers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: znyA98M 09/11/19(Wed)13:59:20 No.226234236 >Be THC oil cartridge >Very popular among teens as it gets you extremely stoned and the smell dissipates faster than smoke 26 KB JPG >Kids are retarded and buy cheap cartridges from chinese Instagram accounts that ship directly to your house because they don't know how to use the darknet >Kids start getting sick by vaping low quality THC cartridges with dangerous ingredients >Big tobacco uses this as an opportunity to demonize all vapes, including nicotine vapes >boomers eat it up without question >Trump is set to ban vaping flavored nicotine juice >Cigarettes are still okay though Boomers are retarded. 237 Replies / 34 Images View Thread
: Anonymous (ID: znyA98M 09/11/19(Wed)13:59:20 No.226234236 >Be THC oil cartridge >Very popular among teens as it gets you extremely stoned and the smell dissipates faster than smoke 26 KB JPG >Kids are retarded and buy cheap cartridges from chinese Instagram accounts that ship directly to your house because they don't know how to use the darknet >Kids start getting sick by vaping low quality THC cartridges with dangerous ingredients >Big tobacco uses this as an opportunity to demonize all vapes, including nicotine vapes >boomers eat it up without question >Trump is set to ban vaping flavored nicotine juice >Cigarettes are still okay though Boomers are retarded. 237 Replies / 34 Images View Thread

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Anon is Palestinian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)09:50:57 No.844902178 >trying to sleep >screaming and loud noises >goes out to check >some dudes in military uniform demolishing houses >gets panicked 110 KB JPG >throws rocks on giant bulldozer >receives 5.56
: Anonymous 01/15/21 (Fri)09:50:57 No.844902178 >trying to sleep >screaming and loud noises >goes out to check >some dudes in military uniform demolishing houses >gets panicked 110 KB JPG >throws rocks on giant bulldozer >receives 5.56

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Anon finds a cat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/25/13(Wed)01:28:41 No.507775568 >Be me >14 >Socially awkward teenager >Don't have too many friends except for this kid Henry >Somehow even more socially 140 KB JPG awkward than me >We like to wonder the alleys on the southside of Chicago >We're not black, but usually people can tell we live in the hood so no troubles >One day we see this really cute alley cat strolling around >cat looks emaciated as f--- >we're young and assume it's a stray with no owner >But wait, kitties got a collar >Tag on the collar says "love" >We think its gay and at the insistence of Henry, we call him F--. > I know that's pretty lame, but we're 14 >take f-- under our wing >We feed him, stroll the alleys, etc >One day we are walking with f-- >Suddenly realize we're in the same alley that we found him in >Big black dude comes outside >Pistol in his waste >Oh f--- >"Whatchu doin' with my cat?" >Cat runs behind me and Henry >Stupid ass Henry says "F-- is with us now!" >"What? You callin my cat a f--?!" >l'm panicking. "Henry you f------ idiot" >Next thing I know >BANG >Blood is streaming out of my chest >With my last breaths I yell at Henry >"SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME" >"YOU GAVE LOVE, A BAD NAME.
Anonymous 09/25/13(Wed)01:28:41 No.507775568 >Be me >14 >Socially awkward teenager >Don't have too many friends except for this kid Henry >Somehow even more socially 140 KB JPG awkward than me >We like to wonder the alleys on the southside of Chicago >We're not black, but usually people can tell we live in the hood so no troubles >One day we see this really cute alley cat strolling around >cat looks emaciated as f--- >we're young and assume it's a stray with no owner >But wait, kitties got a collar >Tag on the collar says "love" >We think its gay and at the insistence of Henry, we call him F--. > I know that's pretty lame, but we're 14 >take f-- under our wing >We feed him, stroll the alleys, etc >One day we are walking with f-- >Suddenly realize we're in the same alley that we found him in >Big black dude comes outside >Pistol in his waste >Oh f--- >"Whatchu doin' with my cat?" >Cat runs behind me and Henry >Stupid ass Henry says "F-- is with us now!" >"What? You callin my cat a f--?!" >l'm panicking. "Henry you f------ idiot" >Next thing I know >BANG >Blood is streaming out of my chest >With my last breaths I yell at Henry >"SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME" >"YOU GAVE LOVE, A BAD NAME.

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Anon searches for love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BPD Feels 01/15/21(Fri)18:00:48 No.61875940 >dump my first boyfriend for another guy >dump my second boyfriend for another guy >dump my third boyfriend for another guy >dump my fourth boyfriend for another guy 30 KB JPG >dump my fifth boyfriend for another guy >planning to soon dump boyfriend number five for boyfriend number six I wish this was just a troll, but I have really done this. I am the walking embodiment of chaos. 27 Replies / 5 Images View Thread
: Anonymous BPD Feels 01/15/21(Fri)18:00:48 No.61875940 >dump my first boyfriend for another guy >dump my second boyfriend for another guy >dump my third boyfriend for another guy >dump my fourth boyfriend for another guy 30 KB JPG >dump my fifth boyfriend for another guy >planning to soon dump boyfriend number five for boyfriend number six I wish this was just a troll, but I have really done this. I am the walking embodiment of chaos. 27 Replies / 5 Images View Thread

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Anon wants some karma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)12:43:11 No.844951513 I'm tired of all the p---. Can we start a greentext thread? 10 KB PNG 13 Replies / 9 Images View Thread onymous 01/16/21(Sat)13:20:43 No.844953857 >Be me >Redditfag >Pretend to be ordinary 4channer who is tired of the p--- >Really just want that sweet, sweet karma 263 KB JPG >forgot that 4chan users have lost all their dignity and cares >fatalmistake.mused >Others on the board notice >make fun of me through derogatory green texts >Reddit-shaming greentexts are already all over r/greentext and not funny anymore, can't use it >Be ME, Redditor >type this comment >why
: Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)12:43:11 No.844951513 I'm tired of all the p---. Can we start a greentext thread? 10 KB PNG 13 Replies / 9 Images View Thread onymous 01/16/21(Sat)13:20:43 No.844953857 >Be me >Redditfag >Pretend to be ordinary 4channer who is tired of the p--- >Really just want that sweet, sweet karma 263 KB JPG >forgot that 4chan users have lost all their dignity and cares >fatalmistake.mused >Others on the board notice >make fun of me through derogatory green texts >Reddit-shaming greentexts are already all over r/greentext and not funny anymore, can't use it >Be ME, Redditor >type this comment >why

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Anon visits America | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)21:44:20 No.61884559 >travel to the US for work >sick days are limited, you are only allowed to be sick a certain amount of times a year >American flags everywhere >Sales tax not included in price >prescription drug adverts on tv and 49 KB JPG billboards all the time >entire cities designed around cars >restroom stalls have wide gaps for no f------ reason >Everyone is exremely loud >rent is extremely expensive for low quality apartments >Every other person has visibly horrible hygiene >walmart sells rifles >lack of small family businesses, there are like thirty of every megacorporate business that set shop on every corner >supermarkets have mobility scooters for some reason >waiters shove special offers in my face >I have to tip them because they aren't paid enough to live >no one is paid enough to live, more homeless people than there should be >My neighbor is really into death grips >gratuitous violence on tv but nudity is shunned >Colleague told me that as children, you all have to stand up and pledge your allegiance to your nation everyday at the start of class >mfw can't because covid Americans, how do you people live like this?
: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)21:44:20 No.61884559 >travel to the US for work >sick days are limited, you are only allowed to be sick a certain amount of times a year >American flags everywhere >Sales tax not included in price >prescription drug adverts on tv and 49 KB JPG billboards all the time >entire cities designed around cars >restroom stalls have wide gaps for no f------ reason >Everyone is exremely loud >rent is extremely expensive for low quality apartments >Every other person has visibly horrible hygiene >walmart sells rifles >lack of small family businesses, there are like thirty of every megacorporate business that set shop on every corner >supermarkets have mobility scooters for some reason >waiters shove special offers in my face >I have to tip them because they aren't paid enough to live >no one is paid enough to live, more homeless people than there should be >My neighbor is really into death grips >gratuitous violence on tv but nudity is shunned >Colleague told me that as children, you all have to stand up and pledge your allegiance to your nation everyday at the start of class >mfw can't because covid Americans, how do you people live like this?

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anon goes for a jog | /r/Greentext

File: 1486194118578.png (9 KB, 338x339) O Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:04:55 No.61700253 [Reply] > >>61700531 >randomly lock eyes with q.t 6.28 while on my daily jog >she smiles at me >without changing my facial expression, turn 90 degrees and continue my walk >realize what happened 2 seconds later and go back, but she's gone >walk around the park for another 15 minutes before i accept in my heart of hearts that she's gone and i blew it why must I be so slow >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:06:31 No.61700270 >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:09:17 No.61700294 >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:21:50 No.61700418 >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:28:34 No.61700490 ► >> O Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:33:07 No.61700531 ► >>61700253 (OP) >be stacy >see pathetic incel trying to self improve >feel sorry for him >realize hes staring at me like a r----- >give him a pity smile so he wont try to r--- me >he does some funny sperg move and makes an ass of himself >jog away as fast as I can to avoid the creepy ugly jogging incel who is trying to stalk me now
File: 1486194118578.png (9 KB, 338x339) O Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:04:55 No.61700253 [Reply] > >>61700531 >randomly lock eyes with q.t 6.28 while on my daily jog >she smiles at me >without changing my facial expression, turn 90 degrees and continue my walk >realize what happened 2 seconds later and go back, but she's gone >walk around the park for another 15 minutes before i accept in my heart of hearts that she's gone and i blew it why must I be so slow >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:06:31 No.61700270 >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:09:17 No.61700294 >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:21:50 No.61700418 >> Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:28:34 No.61700490 ► >> O Anonymous 01/04/21(Mon)11:33:07 No.61700531 ► >>61700253 (OP) >be stacy >see pathetic incel trying to self improve >feel sorry for him >realize hes staring at me like a r----- >give him a pity smile so he wont try to r--- me >he does some funny sperg move and makes an ass of himself >jog away as fast as I can to avoid the creepy ugly jogging incel who is trying to stalk me now

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leaf color text, booga be like | /r/Greentext

File: 73524352342.png (591 KB, 431x673) O Anonymous 01/12/20(Sun)15:03:39 No.818303487 >be me >chilling in my cave eating fresh mammoth >just f----- my caveman gf s--- was berry af >hear some dumbass sapiens outside >walk out with my bigass club and be like "ooga booga" >scare the s--- out of puny ass sapiens >they start speaking their complex s----- languages >pretty sure they ask me if I wanted to join their s----- civilization or something >Imao no >refuse and scream at them in chimp tongue like our ancestors >they are visibly frightened >"heh." >time to deal the finishing blow >"sapien, more like h----sapien" >laugh and scream while banging my club on the ground and beating my chest >they say something in stupid dumbass civilized tongue and leave >go back in cave and finish mammoth painting familiar, it me face when
File: 73524352342.png (591 KB, 431x673) O Anonymous 01/12/20(Sun)15:03:39 No.818303487 >be me >chilling in my cave eating fresh mammoth >just f----- my caveman gf s--- was berry af >hear some dumbass sapiens outside >walk out with my bigass club and be like "ooga booga" >scare the s--- out of puny ass sapiens >they start speaking their complex s----- languages >pretty sure they ask me if I wanted to join their s----- civilization or something >Imao no >refuse and scream at them in chimp tongue like our ancestors >they are visibly frightened >"heh." >time to deal the finishing blow >"sapien, more like h----sapien" >laugh and scream while banging my club on the ground and beating my chest >they say something in stupid dumbass civilized tongue and leave >go back in cave and finish mammoth painting familiar, it me face when

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4chan doing what it does best | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)20:07:58 No.844942092 doge with it dwit.jpg 28 KB JPG I assume everything about you and judge you harshly, and you can't change my mind. F-----.
: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)20:07:58 No.844942092 doge with it dwit.jpg 28 KB JPG I assume everything about you and judge you harshly, and you can't change my mind. F-----.

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/07/20(Mon)15:13:33 No.83558 >that dream where the parking meter molests me is back 232 KB PNG
: Anonymous 09/07/20(Mon)15:13:33 No.83558 >that dream where the parking meter molests me is back 232 KB PNG

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Anon bamboozles Chris Hansen | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me
Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me

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Anon forgets what he was about to say | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/15/20(Sun)10:06:11 No.60926043 File: EA90511F-7021-46AD-B37E-A(.).png (170 KB, 349x300) EVEN ON THE COLDEST NIGHTS I.EAT MY OWN C-- ১১60925869 F--- It might as well tell you all >work at funeral agency >have to meet up with the family to plan out the funeral >policy at work is to keep an understanding tone and not smile too much >suddenly get overcome by the knowledge of pic related. >my friend showed me this image a week ago and ever since then it has been appearing in my mind >i try my best not to smile >make it through the entire meeting without smiling while the image haunts me >at the end of the meeting youre supposed to say something inspirational and uplifting to the family >I want to say "even on the coldest nights, the warmth of our loved ones will let us see the dawn once more >"even on the coldest nights, I eat my own c--"
Anonymous 11/15/20(Sun)10:06:11 No.60926043 File: EA90511F-7021-46AD-B37E-A(.).png (170 KB, 349x300) EVEN ON THE COLDEST NIGHTS I.EAT MY OWN C-- ১১60925869 F--- It might as well tell you all >work at funeral agency >have to meet up with the family to plan out the funeral >policy at work is to keep an understanding tone and not smile too much >suddenly get overcome by the knowledge of pic related. >my friend showed me this image a week ago and ever since then it has been appearing in my mind >i try my best not to smile >make it through the entire meeting without smiling while the image haunts me >at the end of the meeting youre supposed to say something inspirational and uplifting to the family >I want to say "even on the coldest nights, the warmth of our loved ones will let us see the dawn once more >"even on the coldest nights, I eat my own c--"

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Anonhas something to say about testosterone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: c+MFYQRE ) 01/13/21(Wed)16:36:25 No.302529917 >>302526391 # >gay men have more testosterone in them yeah, until they fart 8 KB JPG >>302530183 # >>302530426 # >>302532720 # >>302534498 # >>302534715 # >>302535858 # >>302536457 #
: Anonymous (ID: c+MFYQRE ) 01/13/21(Wed)16:36:25 No.302529917 >>302526391 # >gay men have more testosterone in them yeah, until they fart 8 KB JPG >>302530183 # >>302530426 # >>302532720 # >>302534498 # >>302534715 # >>302535858 # >>302536457 #

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Anon gets lucky | /r/Greentext

File: e25b503ec294fc5d7f3cc37a4(...).jpg (76 KB, 1024x1024) O Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)20:26:08 No.844914479 [Reply] >Be me 5 years ago >Virgin loser >Have 2 friends >Decide enough is enough >Devise plan to get cooch >ldeas thrown around (get ripped, be a decent f------ human ect) >Need a quick idea >Overhear popular girl is having a sleepover >ldea.exe >We could pretend to be gay to get in >Next 3 days are spent being literal stereotypes, making sure girls notice >Actually get invited >Victory.png >Sleepover is dogshit >Just gossip >Bored out of my balls >"Hey anon, how would you feel about kissing a girl?" >Tell them I wouldn't love it >They come up with game >You'have to stay up as long as possible, last 2 people up have to make out >soundsgood.bat >Me and my chums struggle to stay awake >But we need to stay awake >We're not falling asleep >We're up all night to the sun >We're up all night to get some >We're up all night for good fun >We're up all night to get lucky Pic related
File: e25b503ec294fc5d7f3cc37a4(...).jpg (76 KB, 1024x1024) O Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)20:26:08 No.844914479 [Reply] >Be me 5 years ago >Virgin loser >Have 2 friends >Decide enough is enough >Devise plan to get cooch >ldeas thrown around (get ripped, be a decent f------ human ect) >Need a quick idea >Overhear popular girl is having a sleepover >ldea.exe >We could pretend to be gay to get in >Next 3 days are spent being literal stereotypes, making sure girls notice >Actually get invited >Victory.png >Sleepover is dogshit >Just gossip >Bored out of my balls >"Hey anon, how would you feel about kissing a girl?" >Tell them I wouldn't love it >They come up with game >You'have to stay up as long as possible, last 2 people up have to make out >soundsgood.bat >Me and my chums struggle to stay awake >But we need to stay awake >We're not falling asleep >We're up all night to the sun >We're up all night to get some >We're up all night for good fun >We're up all night to get lucky Pic related

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Anon is a psychopath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)03:57:21 No.844948740 So I absolutely hate trannies, traps, crossdressers, whatever the f--- you want to call them. They're degenerates. So I do this to f--- with them 1.47 MB PNG >Talk with them on social media >Compliment them on how much they look like the other gender >Give them validation and attention >Overtime they begin to initiate conversations with me because of this. >They are so mentally ill they think I'm a close friend just because I give them validation >Keep talking with them for months >Suddenly ghost them >They message me several times every day asking where I am >When they say something like "I miss talking to you" I come back and say "Don't talk to me" >For some reason this absolutely ruins most of them. They beg for me to give them validation. >Never contact them again. Done this at least 50 times. F--- them.
: Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)03:57:21 No.844948740 So I absolutely hate trannies, traps, crossdressers, whatever the f--- you want to call them. They're degenerates. So I do this to f--- with them 1.47 MB PNG >Talk with them on social media >Compliment them on how much they look like the other gender >Give them validation and attention >Overtime they begin to initiate conversations with me because of this. >They are so mentally ill they think I'm a close friend just because I give them validation >Keep talking with them for months >Suddenly ghost them >They message me several times every day asking where I am >When they say something like "I miss talking to you" I come back and say "Don't talk to me" >For some reason this absolutely ruins most of them. They beg for me to give them validation. >Never contact them again. Done this at least 50 times. F--- them.

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Anon helps out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/19(Wed)13:08:51 No.50459642 HOLA PRIMO! >school cafeteria >it's Mexican day >rice beans, tortillas, carne asada, s--- like that >this s--- is my jam, green chile on everything 129 KB PNG >tall white dude comes up to my s--- ass >"Hey, anon. Could you roll my burrito for me? I don't know how." >"Hm? Oh, yeah, sure." >neatly portion out the proper amount of beans into each tort, tuck, and roll some nice burritos for him %3D >"You have to tuck in the bottom like this so nothing spills out." >"Oh, cool. Thanks, dude." >"No problem."
: Anonymous 01/16/19(Wed)13:08:51 No.50459642 HOLA PRIMO! >school cafeteria >it's Mexican day >rice beans, tortillas, carne asada, s--- like that >this s--- is my jam, green chile on everything 129 KB PNG >tall white dude comes up to my s--- ass >"Hey, anon. Could you roll my burrito for me? I don't know how." >"Hm? Oh, yeah, sure." >neatly portion out the proper amount of beans into each tort, tuck, and roll some nice burritos for him %3D >"You have to tuck in the bottom like this so nothing spills out." >"Oh, cool. Thanks, dude." >"No problem."

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anon gets home invaded by the rape dwarf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)13:28:51 No.53265142 The dwarf > Be me, home alone > parents arr at a party > midnight, hear someone come inside > I call out "how was the party?" > no response... > get a text from my mom saying they're staying the night at their 393 KB JPG friends house > oh f--- > hear something coming upstairs > It giggles > with each step I hear its c--- thump on the stairs The r--- dwarf is coming Help me anons
: Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)13:28:51 No.53265142 The dwarf > Be me, home alone > parents arr at a party > midnight, hear someone come inside > I call out "how was the party?" > no response... > get a text from my mom saying they're staying the night at their 393 KB JPG friends house > oh f--- > hear something coming upstairs > It giggles > with each step I hear its c--- thump on the stairs The r--- dwarf is coming Help me anons

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anon is a normie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 783805660 Vor 9 Min. >Be me >In highschool >In class, supposed to be doing coursework >Chad is laughing at his phone >I look over, he is looking at memes >He's looking at minion memes on Facebook 49,6 kB JPG >Tf >I laugh and sit back in my seat, he doesn't notice >Get bored so I start looking at memes and greentext's >Chad comes over sees a Ben Shapiro meme >Continues to laugh at me and shout "NORMIE" >Ask him do you know where the word normie comes from >He replies with "yes, from Instagram" >Mfw
Anonymous | 783805660 Vor 9 Min. >Be me >In highschool >In class, supposed to be doing coursework >Chad is laughing at his phone >I look over, he is looking at memes >He's looking at minion memes on Facebook 49,6 kB JPG >Tf >I laugh and sit back in my seat, he doesn't notice >Get bored so I start looking at memes and greentext's >Chad comes over sees a Ben Shapiro meme >Continues to laugh at me and shout "NORMIE" >Ask him do you know where the word normie comes from >He replies with "yes, from Instagram" >Mfw

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