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Anon buys crude oil | /r/Greentext

File: A4E57907-9815-46E6-BC13-8(..).jpg (261 KB, 840x562) O Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)07:50:31 No.844796744 [Reply] >be me >truly_unhinged.jpg >decide to purchase oil futures contract >accidentaly buy a barrel of crude oil shipped directly to my house >not know what to do with it for 2 weeks >super hot one day >get overheated as s---, decide to drink >get so drunk I grab my funnel and pump 2 gallons of crude oil into my ass >in the moment I wanted to save it for the right moment >thought it would be cool to s--- a f--- ton of oil all at once >get side tracked and watch finding Nemo >get to the part with the little squid girl in nemos school >arousedasfuck.png >realize my true purpose in life >uber to my local swimming pool >there are 3 pools but of course I decide to go to the one with the most children in it >still be drunk as f--- >sit down in the most populated area >start f------ swimming around like a big squid >moms are looking at me in confusion and disgust >one of them starts walking to the front desk, clearly going to call police >'it's time" >scream "IM GONNA INK" in the same voice I would have if I was mid orgasm >s--- 2 gallons of crude oil into the kiddie pool >children surface from the water visibly blinded and covered in my a--- oil >children screaming and crying all around >oil has spread farther than I ever imagined it would >make my escape >known as local squid man forever
File: A4E57907-9815-46E6-BC13-8(..).jpg (261 KB, 840x562) O Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)07:50:31 No.844796744 [Reply] >be me >truly_unhinged.jpg >decide to purchase oil futures contract >accidentaly buy a barrel of crude oil shipped directly to my house >not know what to do with it for 2 weeks >super hot one day >get overheated as s---, decide to drink >get so drunk I grab my funnel and pump 2 gallons of crude oil into my ass >in the moment I wanted to save it for the right moment >thought it would be cool to s--- a f--- ton of oil all at once >get side tracked and watch finding Nemo >get to the part with the little squid girl in nemos school >arousedasfuck.png >realize my true purpose in life >uber to my local swimming pool >there are 3 pools but of course I decide to go to the one with the most children in it >still be drunk as f--- >sit down in the most populated area >start f------ swimming around like a big squid >moms are looking at me in confusion and disgust >one of them starts walking to the front desk, clearly going to call police >'it's time" >scream "IM GONNA INK" in the same voice I would have if I was mid orgasm >s--- 2 gallons of crude oil into the kiddie pool >children surface from the water visibly blinded and covered in my a--- oil >children screaming and crying all around >oil has spread farther than I ever imagined it would >make my escape >known as local squid man forever

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Anon is a couch fucker | /r/Greentext

File: 1515265048322 jpg (63 KB, 610x800) Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)20 59:44 No.42487151 42487352 be me > be 17 > have uncontrollable boners > have uncontrollable urge to fap > jerk it twice a day, everyday > masturbate on the living room sofa > it's comfy asf and no one goes there > too lazy to get tissue > c-- between the pillows > "Il sometimes use the pillows like a fleshlight > do this everyday for 2 years > eventually dad smells something > encounter.mp3 > he blames my effeminate beta male younger brother > false alarm > he's been caught pillow humping before > dad brings him to the living roam > brother tries to explain, dad thinks he's lying, gets mad > dad punches him in the gut > dad beats him so bad, he pisses himself. > dad leaves my little brother crying in his own piss > his face whern Now, what keeps me up at night isn't what happened to my brother. What bugs me is the boner I got from seeing it.
File: 1515265048322 jpg (63 KB, 610x800) Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)20 59:44 No.42487151 42487352 be me > be 17 > have uncontrollable boners > have uncontrollable urge to fap > jerk it twice a day, everyday > masturbate on the living room sofa > it's comfy asf and no one goes there > too lazy to get tissue > c-- between the pillows > "Il sometimes use the pillows like a fleshlight > do this everyday for 2 years > eventually dad smells something > encounter.mp3 > he blames my effeminate beta male younger brother > false alarm > he's been caught pillow humping before > dad brings him to the living roam > brother tries to explain, dad thinks he's lying, gets mad > dad punches him in the gut > dad beats him so bad, he pisses himself. > dad leaves my little brother crying in his own piss > his face whern Now, what keeps me up at night isn't what happened to my brother. What bugs me is the boner I got from seeing it.

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Anon likes to larp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)08:49:51 No.9363694 >be me >redditfag >unironically a zoomer >pretend to use 4chan >make "be me" post even though no one does that anymore 276 KB JPG >add pepe image even though 4chan hates it now >make "le wholesome" post even though people here are nihilistic assholes >screenshot own thread >don't even crop out the date and time that shows the thread was made literally seconds ago >post on r/4chan and r/greentext >get fake internet points from a bunch of other redditfags that don't actually use 4chan F--- you if you do this
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)08:49:51 No.9363694 >be me >redditfag >unironically a zoomer >pretend to use 4chan >make "be me" post even though no one does that anymore 276 KB JPG >add pepe image even though 4chan hates it now >make "le wholesome" post even though people here are nihilistic assholes >screenshot own thread >don't even crop out the date and time that shows the thread was made literally seconds ago >post on r/4chan and r/greentext >get fake internet points from a bunch of other redditfags that don't actually use 4chan F--- you if you do this

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Anon visits a friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)18:30:08 No.61847196 >be me >be 10 >at friends house >really need a s--- but too shy to go downstairs and walk past his family >ITS COMING >HOLD IT >a little turtle head pops out and rolls down my trouser leg without me realising >we're playing lego or some s--- >friend picks up a small black ball >oh s--- >literally oh s--- >he doesnt know what it is >he keeps lightly squeezing it >ask to have a look >he passes me it >i throw it out of the open window immediately and tell him it was old chocolate Anyway then i nicked some bionicle
Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)18:30:08 No.61847196 >be me >be 10 >at friends house >really need a s--- but too shy to go downstairs and walk past his family >ITS COMING >HOLD IT >a little turtle head pops out and rolls down my trouser leg without me realising >we're playing lego or some s--- >friend picks up a small black ball >oh s--- >literally oh s--- >he doesnt know what it is >he keeps lightly squeezing it >ask to have a look >he passes me it >i throw it out of the open window immediately and tell him it was old chocolate Anyway then i nicked some bionicle

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Anon has sex | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot_20210104-172635~2.png (205 KB, 720x260) O Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)11:04:27 >Be me. >23 yo kissless virgin. >Been working at Walmart for 5 years. >Work with a qt. >5/10 but she's nice to me. >Invited her over last night to "watch Netflix." >ThatMeansFucking.png >Third episode of I survived I get over my fear and put my arm around her. >This activates her inner slut and we start making out. >Dart my tongue like a lizard because it's my first time. >She still wants it. >Finally f--- her. >Everything was going good except the condom felt s-----. >She's f------ me back and says she's about to c--. >"Wow I'm great at sex." >She arches her back and says she's c------. >She yells like a howler monkey and put on a show. >No milk.jpeg. >She obviously didn't c-- and is lying to me. >Immediately ruined my concentration. >l f------ go soft in her. >She asks if there's something wrong. >Obviously. >I tell her "you don't have to lie to me about c------ I'm not an idiot." >She gets upset and leaves. >Finish with my hand. >Now she won't talk to me at work.
File: Screenshot_20210104-172635~2.png (205 KB, 720x260) O Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)11:04:27 >Be me. >23 yo kissless virgin. >Been working at Walmart for 5 years. >Work with a qt. >5/10 but she's nice to me. >Invited her over last night to "watch Netflix." >ThatMeansFucking.png >Third episode of I survived I get over my fear and put my arm around her. >This activates her inner slut and we start making out. >Dart my tongue like a lizard because it's my first time. >She still wants it. >Finally f--- her. >Everything was going good except the condom felt s-----. >She's f------ me back and says she's about to c--. >"Wow I'm great at sex." >She arches her back and says she's c------. >She yells like a howler monkey and put on a show. >No milk.jpeg. >She obviously didn't c-- and is lying to me. >Immediately ruined my concentration. >l f------ go soft in her. >She asks if there's something wrong. >Obviously. >I tell her "you don't have to lie to me about c------ I'm not an idiot." >She gets upset and leaves. >Finish with my hand. >Now she won't talk to me at work.

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Anon has a rabbit problem | /r/Greentext

File: 1342803271459.jpg-(31 KB, 291x300, rabbit1-291x300.jpg) 8O Anonymous 07/20/12(Fri)12:54:31 No.3146586 H I have a garden. Never mind what's in it. Not your business. F--- you. Now that I'm done with my faggoty little life story, here's the point: I've got a rabbit problem. That insufferable little n----- thinks it can eat my s---. Revenge time. It's not hard to trap a rabbit. You get a cage that shuts when the brainless little s--- wanders into it for a snack. What's hard as f--- is to figure out what that rabbit cares about. I waited up for it. It came out a a little past midnight and I was careful not to scare it. Go ahead! Chew that s--- up! Hop on home at your leisure! You'll see what happens. I followed it. It got away from me 4 times on 4 nights before I found its home... and its wife or whatever rabbits have. Two cages, two rabbits. First night. Easy. Stupid m------------. Those rabbits were not happy. They didn't like being caged. I kept them warm and safe though and even bought them rabbit foo... and another rabbit. A male rabbit. I asked the girl at the store if there was one that stuck out as being dominant -- the jerk of the group. A rabbit alpha. When I threw that hulking, ill-mannered, floppy-eared pet-store reject in with that bastard rabbit's beloved and he had to watch her precious little bunny p--- hole get stuffed again and again by the biggest, baddest tough-guy j------ of a rabbit that I could find, it made him jump and chew his cage and freak out like only desperate jealousy could. I kept them. He had to watch them have babies. 3 litters, before I decided enough was enough. Take that, you little f-----. Replies: >>3146592 Replies to this post: >>3146592 Anonymous 07/20/12(Fri)12:55:43 No.3146592 QDA >>3146586 10/10 Thread Tools Posts: 9 Images: 1 /r9k/ - Board Index O Preload images (1/1) O Expand images Ir9k/
File: 1342803271459.jpg-(31 KB, 291x300, rabbit1-291x300.jpg) 8O Anonymous 07/20/12(Fri)12:54:31 No.3146586 H I have a garden. Never mind what's in it. Not your business. F--- you. Now that I'm done with my faggoty little life story, here's the point: I've got a rabbit problem. That insufferable little n----- thinks it can eat my s---. Revenge time. It's not hard to trap a rabbit. You get a cage that shuts when the brainless little s--- wanders into it for a snack. What's hard as f--- is to figure out what that rabbit cares about. I waited up for it. It came out a a little past midnight and I was careful not to scare it. Go ahead! Chew that s--- up! Hop on home at your leisure! You'll see what happens. I followed it. It got away from me 4 times on 4 nights before I found its home... and its wife or whatever rabbits have. Two cages, two rabbits. First night. Easy. Stupid m------------. Those rabbits were not happy. They didn't like being caged. I kept them warm and safe though and even bought them rabbit foo... and another rabbit. A male rabbit. I asked the girl at the store if there was one that stuck out as being dominant -- the jerk of the group. A rabbit alpha. When I threw that hulking, ill-mannered, floppy-eared pet-store reject in with that bastard rabbit's beloved and he had to watch her precious little bunny p--- hole get stuffed again and again by the biggest, baddest tough-guy j------ of a rabbit that I could find, it made him jump and chew his cage and freak out like only desperate jealousy could. I kept them. He had to watch them have babies. 3 litters, before I decided enough was enough. Take that, you little f-----. Replies: >>3146592 Replies to this post: >>3146592 Anonymous 07/20/12(Fri)12:55:43 No.3146592 QDA >>3146586 10/10 Thread Tools Posts: 9 Images: 1 /r9k/ - Board Index O Preload images (1/1) O Expand images Ir9k/

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Alpha behavior | /r/Greentext

File: SV5w8LxgwLkjk6YG3xULKG.jpg (1.36 MB, 1000x757) O Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)07:45:51 No.61843609 [Reply] >>61844859 >be me >got a pupper from one of the local shelters a few weeks ago >super sweet and kind dog that loves to be pet from everyone >everytime I go for a walk with her everyone stops and tells me how cute she is >yesterday >going for a walk >two super cute girls approach >dog goes crazy towards them >girls start petting her and tell me how cute she is >we talk for a while about puppies and stuff, one of them has one too >"maybe our dogs can become friends, we can bring them together to the dog park" >fuckyes.png >dog starts to walk around smelling the floor >ohno.exe >she s---- the BIGGEST and STINKIEST crap ever >the stench overcomes our facemasks >must be the bone I gave her in the morning so she would stay calm while I was away >girls have to step away from the f------ smell >they go away without saying nothing and with a disgust expression on their faces Why bros?
File: SV5w8LxgwLkjk6YG3xULKG.jpg (1.36 MB, 1000x757) O Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)07:45:51 No.61843609 [Reply] >>61844859 >be me >got a pupper from one of the local shelters a few weeks ago >super sweet and kind dog that loves to be pet from everyone >everytime I go for a walk with her everyone stops and tells me how cute she is >yesterday >going for a walk >two super cute girls approach >dog goes crazy towards them >girls start petting her and tell me how cute she is >we talk for a while about puppies and stuff, one of them has one too >"maybe our dogs can become friends, we can bring them together to the dog park" >fuckyes.png >dog starts to walk around smelling the floor >ohno.exe >she s---- the BIGGEST and STINKIEST crap ever >the stench overcomes our facemasks >must be the bone I gave her in the morning so she would stay calm while I was away >girls have to step away from the f------ smell >they go away without saying nothing and with a disgust expression on their faces Why bros?

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Anon doesn't like pony play | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3 - 4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"
Anonymous (ID: zuq0 ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but fun >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her >things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3 - 4 plastic horses into my a------ >she says my condition is "stable"

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Anon has a potential | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)00:20:48 No.844766211 >wake up >coom EAT >eat SLEEP >Coom REPEAT >sleep >coom 113 KB JPG >wake up >Coom >eat >coom
: Anonymous 01/14/21(Thu)00:20:48 No.844766211 >wake up >coom EAT >eat SLEEP >Coom REPEAT >sleep >coom 113 KB JPG >wake up >Coom >eat >coom

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Anon has cuck dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)16:50:48 No.844760563 >Just had the most Beta f------ cuck dream ever and I'm actually worried about my psyche from this quarantine. >At a campfire party talking to people, almost pick up a cute girl, end up bringing this really fat chick home 25 KB JPG >I refuse to sleep with bigger girls >Get in bed with her, put a condom on, in my f------ dream w-- >She like, lifts her fat fold to get my d--- in. I'm not even fully hard in my dream. >She literally s---- on me, and is so embarrassed she leaves my house while I'm walking to the bathroom with weird chunks of s--- on me >I clean myself off, and try to masturbate in the bathroom >Wake up mid dream wank. I have NEVER had a dream of jerking off, or banging a fat girl. Am I this starved for human attention?
: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)16:50:48 No.844760563 >Just had the most Beta f------ cuck dream ever and I'm actually worried about my psyche from this quarantine. >At a campfire party talking to people, almost pick up a cute girl, end up bringing this really fat chick home 25 KB JPG >I refuse to sleep with bigger girls >Get in bed with her, put a condom on, in my f------ dream w-- >She like, lifts her fat fold to get my d--- in. I'm not even fully hard in my dream. >She literally s---- on me, and is so embarrassed she leaves my house while I'm walking to the bathroom with weird chunks of s--- on me >I clean myself off, and try to masturbate in the bathroom >Wake up mid dream wank. I have NEVER had a dream of jerking off, or banging a fat girl. Am I this starved for human attention?

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anon goes back to prison | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)19:08:11 No.844773509 BDDB153A-E175-4152-B15E-90F3AC8BC131.jpg| 26 KB JPG >going back to prison for the 4th time It's the only way i can get laid /b/ros
: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)19:08:11 No.844773509 BDDB153A-E175-4152-B15E-90F3AC8BC131.jpg| 26 KB JPG >going back to prison for the 4th time It's the only way i can get laid /b/ros

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Anon watches porn | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 2ZUVFH5C) 04/17/17(Mon)02: >>121481408 lay in hospital bed >family is surrounding you >everyone crying >let out your tear >life is flashing through your eyes >50 years of hardcore p--- in 1 millisecond >nut all over everyone >your last words are "s--- >let out last breath >die this is why you all need to stop watching p---.
Anonymous (ID: 2ZUVFH5C) 04/17/17(Mon)02: >>121481408 lay in hospital bed >family is surrounding you >everyone crying >let out your tear >life is flashing through your eyes >50 years of hardcore p--- in 1 millisecond >nut all over everyone >your last words are "s--- >let out last breath >die this is why you all need to stop watching p---.

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Anon uses the N-word | /r/Greentext

>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- 23 KB JPG >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't use that word" >l say "what word? N-----?" >she then says “you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >l tell her I'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over
>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- 23 KB JPG >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't use that word" >l say "what word? N-----?" >she then says “you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >l tell her I'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over

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Anon finds out AOC her actual shoe size | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: EXKXVZ6/ 01/10/21(Sun)14:28:24 No.301779559 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC As most people know by now, many things were stolen during the terrorist insurrection at the Capitol: laptops, mail, even the Speaker's lectern. Security cameras also picked up a well- disguised fellow about 5'4" stealing all of my SHOES, for Chrissake. Unbelievable 2:42 AM Jan 10, 2021 739 Retweets 126 Quote Tweets 25.8K Likes F51566B5-9E3F-4C34-8D8C-9FE0C1D896B6.jpg 191 KB JPG Ok who's the smartas... : Anonymous (ID: +bOaCkAZ 01/10/21(Sun)14:29:39 No.301779834 >>301779559 (OP) # Did you know Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has size 11's? »301781107 # 301786407 tH 301788307 #
: Anonymous (ID: EXKXVZ6/ 01/10/21(Sun)14:28:24 No.301779559 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC As most people know by now, many things were stolen during the terrorist insurrection at the Capitol: laptops, mail, even the Speaker's lectern. Security cameras also picked up a well- disguised fellow about 5'4" stealing all of my SHOES, for Chrissake. Unbelievable 2:42 AM Jan 10, 2021 739 Retweets 126 Quote Tweets 25.8K Likes F51566B5-9E3F-4C34-8D8C-9FE0C1D896B6.jpg 191 KB JPG Ok who's the smartas... : Anonymous (ID: +bOaCkAZ 01/10/21(Sun)14:29:39 No.301779834 >>301779559 (OP) # Did you know Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has size 11's? »301781107 # 301786407 tH 301788307 #

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Anon goes to college | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)18:25:49 No.844779008 >be me >18 yo about to leave the house for college >parents don't think I'm ready and neither do I >I really want to go but if I slip up one more time, they won't let me leave 17 KB GIF >piss the bed for the first time in 11 years >freak the f--- out because that's my death sentence >idea.jpg >it was the middle of the night so I decide to wash my sheets >never operated a washing machine or dryer in my life >think back as hard as I can to all the times l've seen my mom do laundry >actually was able to figure out how to do it all without waking anybody I will never tell my parents about this but I think I've finally proven to myself that I'm ready to be off on my own
: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)18:25:49 No.844779008 >be me >18 yo about to leave the house for college >parents don't think I'm ready and neither do I >I really want to go but if I slip up one more time, they won't let me leave 17 KB GIF >piss the bed for the first time in 11 years >freak the f--- out because that's my death sentence >idea.jpg >it was the middle of the night so I decide to wash my sheets >never operated a washing machine or dryer in my life >think back as hard as I can to all the times l've seen my mom do laundry >actually was able to figure out how to do it all without waking anybody I will never tell my parents about this but I think I've finally proven to myself that I'm ready to be off on my own

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Femanon is a lesbian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)23:43:26 No.844788588 >femanon >in school >never been on a date >never had a boyfriend >because of this for years I was labeled as the lesbian 10 KB JPG >never thought it was true >grow up, still no bf or date >go on dating app >find a few of the guys cute >sees pretty girl >heart races way more than it ever would with a guy >ignore it >explain to therapist next week about how a guy ghosted next >he says "maybe you're fishing in the wrong lake" >think about how much I fantasize about women >have crisis I can't be gay can't be gay I can't be gay I don't want to be gay 1 Reply View Thread
: Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)23:43:26 No.844788588 >femanon >in school >never been on a date >never had a boyfriend >because of this for years I was labeled as the lesbian 10 KB JPG >never thought it was true >grow up, still no bf or date >go on dating app >find a few of the guys cute >sees pretty girl >heart races way more than it ever would with a guy >ignore it >explain to therapist next week about how a guy ghosted next >he says "maybe you're fishing in the wrong lake" >think about how much I fantasize about women >have crisis I can't be gay can't be gay I can't be gay I don't want to be gay 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon has a best friend | /r/Greentext

>be 14 >have a best friend >plays vidya, talk girls, a genuinely good friend. >about a month ago his mom passed away >terminal cancer, horrible thing >a week before his birthday his dad 50 KB JPG reached out to me >confusion.jpeg >"hey anon, it's friendanon's dad, I know you too are pretty close and next week is his birthday, figured we could do something nice for him." >l agree >"that's great, as you know ever since friendanon's mom passed away he's been pretty bummed out so I thought we could make something to remind him of her." >wtfwhybutok.png >agree to help him out because friendanon is my best friend. >mfw his dad asked me to bring a can of tomato sauce >whatthefuck.exe >fast forward to his birthday party >we just hanging out, some friends and family there just talking and congratulating friendanon, pretty cool b'day party >friendanon's dad clears his throat >"ehm so as you all know it's friendanon's birthday today, so for some time l've been thinking what would make anon's birthday memorable for him" >friendanon's dad takes out a plate with pasta and red sauce, puts it on the table and puts on a gentle smile. >friendanon tastes it and begins to cry >turns out it was his mother's special recipe. >anon gets so excited and emotional he throws up >he's all shaking >his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy >there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
>be 14 >have a best friend >plays vidya, talk girls, a genuinely good friend. >about a month ago his mom passed away >terminal cancer, horrible thing >a week before his birthday his dad 50 KB JPG reached out to me >confusion.jpeg >"hey anon, it's friendanon's dad, I know you too are pretty close and next week is his birthday, figured we could do something nice for him." >l agree >"that's great, as you know ever since friendanon's mom passed away he's been pretty bummed out so I thought we could make something to remind him of her." >wtfwhybutok.png >agree to help him out because friendanon is my best friend. >mfw his dad asked me to bring a can of tomato sauce >whatthefuck.exe >fast forward to his birthday party >we just hanging out, some friends and family there just talking and congratulating friendanon, pretty cool b'day party >friendanon's dad clears his throat >"ehm so as you all know it's friendanon's birthday today, so for some time l've been thinking what would make anon's birthday memorable for him" >friendanon's dad takes out a plate with pasta and red sauce, puts it on the table and puts on a gentle smile. >friendanon tastes it and begins to cry >turns out it was his mother's special recipe. >anon gets so excited and emotional he throws up >he's all shaking >his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy >there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti

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Anon reviews cyberpunk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)05:01:55 No.18794955 File: alex jones crying.gif (2.91 MB, 309x313) >>18795023 >>18794330 > Spending 1h making a character I like the look of > Give her a g--------- > Game barely if ever shows your character > Character scissors some other chick in sex-scene What an unfinished, thrown together mess of a game
Anonymous 01/13/21(Wed)05:01:55 No.18794955 File: alex jones crying.gif (2.91 MB, 309x313) >>18795023 >>18794330 > Spending 1h making a character I like the look of > Give her a g--------- > Game barely if ever shows your character > Character scissors some other chick in sex-scene What an unfinished, thrown together mess of a game

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Anon hates his retarded dog | /r/Greentext

File: 1375065675555.jpg-(62 KB, 173x231, 12fere4e4w2.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: z5U+rL4b) 07/28/13 >Fapping one night| >Dog keeps looking at me >Getting annoyed >Yelling at him while fapping >Just lowers his head and squints >Throwing things at him while fapping >Still watching me sideways from corner >Rage fapping >C-- while looking at him and yelling >Orgasm ruined >Came all over my legs in anger >Really annoyed >Get up, start cleaning >Notice utility worker on pole outside window >Starts laughing his ass off >Immediately drop to the floor >Crawl to light switch, turn off light >Still hear him laughing >Crawl into hallway >Still hear him laughing >FML
File: 1375065675555.jpg-(62 KB, 173x231, 12fere4e4w2.jpg) O Anonymous (ID: z5U+rL4b) 07/28/13 >Fapping one night| >Dog keeps looking at me >Getting annoyed >Yelling at him while fapping >Just lowers his head and squints >Throwing things at him while fapping >Still watching me sideways from corner >Rage fapping >C-- while looking at him and yelling >Orgasm ruined >Came all over my legs in anger >Really annoyed >Get up, start cleaning >Notice utility worker on pole outside window >Starts laughing his ass off >Immediately drop to the floor >Crawl to light switch, turn off light >Still hear him laughing >Crawl into hallway >Still hear him laughing >FML

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Anon isn't racist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Juh9Aaak 04/15/20(Wed)10:14:35 No.253534494 >notice that I have a strong dislike for most minorities >worry that I may be racist >decide to test if I really am >go out for a couple of drinks with a friend of a colleague >he's black 22 KB PNG >pretty good guy actually >turns out I just hate poor people phew good thing I'm not racist
: Anonymous (ID: Juh9Aaak 04/15/20(Wed)10:14:35 No.253534494 >notice that I have a strong dislike for most minorities >worry that I may be racist >decide to test if I really am >go out for a couple of drinks with a friend of a colleague >he's black 22 KB PNG >pretty good guy actually >turns out I just hate poor people phew good thing I'm not racist

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