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Banana Peel

File: 1370710900581.ipg-(82 KB, 600x874, a.aaa-Banana-Shark.jpg) Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat)13:01:40 No.485723075 Super beta stories. 'll go first >Be me, about 16 >Beta to the max >Have a hard time dealing with the ladies >Mostly spend my down time browsing p--- and fapping vs. a social life >Discover strange, yet pleasing ways to get my rocks off >Favorite way to fap is with banana peels >Will eat a banana, but peel it carefully so l can stick my d--- in it. >Masturbate vigorously into banana >feelsgoodman.jpg >Sometimes I'll use the same peel two or three times before throwing it away >Im a sick bastard, I know peel Fast forward a few weeks >Been fapping in banana peels a lot >Getting dat potassium like a mad f----- >Develop a dependency on fapping in banana peels >Masturbating with my fingerless gloves doesnt cut it anymore >Peel catches my load so it doesn't squirt all over my fedora. >Start calling my d--- "The Banana Shark" >Typically pretty quiet kid in my classes >Smart as s--- when it comes to Chemistry >Can name all the elements on the Periodic Table >F--- yeah. >Nice looking 8/10 knows I do well in Chemistry while she sucks d--- at it. >Pretty nice girl, not all prissy and stuck up like the other sluts >Actually talks to me >Asks if we can be lab partners >F------ all the yes >Begins to get friendlier with me >Flirting level 3 engaged >Decide to actually be alpha for once >After a few days of great chemistry in Chemistry, ask her to go to a movie with me >She says yes >> □ Anonymous (ID: MYJOYP94) 06/08/13(Sat)13:02:20 No.485723180 CONT... >Go to see Lucky Number Slevin. >She's into mob movies and wants to see it. >Theater is practically empty >We sit in the back row >Halfway through the >Not paying attention anymore >Her tongue is in my mouth. >Her hand is on The Banana Shark The spaghetti is out of my pockets on the floor >She asks if I have ever gotten head before >Allmynope >Unzips my pants to find a fully erect Banana Shark >Starts to suck my d--- >Two minutes irn "Anon, your d--- tastes weird." >Oh God, she can taste The Banana Shark s"It tastes like bananas. Do you stick your d >Beta me returns >"S-s-sometimes..." >Awkward as f--- >"OH GOD ANON, I'M ALLERGIC TO BANANAS" >Begins puking on my d--- OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK > She begins to have a seizure >Immediately call 911 movie, I notice she keeps looking at me d--- in bananas Anon?" MFW I cannot go back to that theater MFW I put a girl in the hospital with The Banana Shark MFW I havent had a b------ OR a date since Thanks a lot Banana Shark
File: 1370710900581.ipg-(82 KB, 600x874, a.aaa-Banana-Shark.jpg) Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat)13:01:40 No.485723075 Super beta stories. 'll go first >Be me, about 16 >Beta to the max >Have a hard time dealing with the ladies >Mostly spend my down time browsing p--- and fapping vs. a social life >Discover strange, yet pleasing ways to get my rocks off >Favorite way to fap is with banana peels >Will eat a banana, but peel it carefully so l can stick my d--- in it. >Masturbate vigorously into banana >feelsgoodman.jpg >Sometimes I'll use the same peel two or three times before throwing it away >Im a sick bastard, I know peel Fast forward a few weeks >Been fapping in banana peels a lot >Getting dat potassium like a mad f----- >Develop a dependency on fapping in banana peels >Masturbating with my fingerless gloves doesnt cut it anymore >Peel catches my load so it doesn't squirt all over my fedora. >Start calling my d--- "The Banana Shark" >Typically pretty quiet kid in my classes >Smart as s--- when it comes to Chemistry >Can name all the elements on the Periodic Table >F--- yeah. >Nice looking 8/10 knows I do well in Chemistry while she sucks d--- at it. >Pretty nice girl, not all prissy and stuck up like the other sluts >Actually talks to me >Asks if we can be lab partners >F------ all the yes >Begins to get friendlier with me >Flirting level 3 engaged >Decide to actually be alpha for once >After a few days of great chemistry in Chemistry, ask her to go to a movie with me >She says yes >> □ Anonymous (ID: MYJOYP94) 06/08/13(Sat)13:02:20 No.485723180 CONT... >Go to see Lucky Number Slevin. >She's into mob movies and wants to see it. >Theater is practically empty >We sit in the back row >Halfway through the >Not paying attention anymore >Her tongue is in my mouth. >Her hand is on The Banana Shark The spaghetti is out of my pockets on the floor >She asks if I have ever gotten head before >Allmynope >Unzips my pants to find a fully erect Banana Shark >Starts to suck my d--- >Two minutes irn "Anon, your d--- tastes weird." >Oh God, she can taste The Banana Shark s"It tastes like bananas. Do you stick your d >Beta me returns >"S-s-sometimes..." >Awkward as f--- >"OH GOD ANON, I'M ALLERGIC TO BANANAS" >Begins puking on my d--- OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK > She begins to have a seizure >Immediately call 911 movie, I notice she keeps looking at me d--- in bananas Anon?" MFW I cannot go back to that theater MFW I put a girl in the hospital with The Banana Shark MFW I havent had a b------ OR a date since Thanks a lot Banana Shark

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Google Translate Pls

571642460 erect my penis gold (50 KB, 500x644) ■ AnonymousOD @isi) 10 01/14(Wed)17:00:38 No 571640928 >>571641037225716412202-5716412902-57164 1308-5716413612571641552 be finnish >45 year old movement teacher student are 12-13 they had tight cloth on today was after class the girl go into a shower >can see more nudism body her breast grow to the f--- little hair look has the trim erect my penis >"do you have ok she look out to me in wet shoulder hair >cover breast growth but can both nipple Anonymous (ID: Gszaan) 10/01/14(Wed)17:05:12 No.57164 1342 File (24 KB, 314x246) rip english 。Anonymous (ID AMARO) 10/01/14(Wed)17:14:08 №571642173x File: 1406257051691.png (56 KB, 429x287) 22571640928ー laughing for days and i dont know why turn to go into a shower 571640928 (0P Anonymous(D: EN) 10/014Wed 17:17. 15 No >"dont look the shower >"but your body can't say yes she run out to nudism hear she tell to the head master he invited me to the office of his > stop never again or you get a shoe T hat some amazing grammar skills OP 571640928 (0P 571640928 (0P 10/10、/b/ isn't dead I don't want a shoe for my money but what can stop the girl look time? I can see every day the girl when she into a shower and all had a body of good look to make resistence hard for penis every day I have tempetation resist, I can the future too but the head master can give me a shoe ifI look more to the girl shower pic unrelated but the girl body look like many time 571640928 (0P her breast grow to the f--- >57164 can see more nudism body her breast grow to the f--- erect my penis >"stop never again or you get a shoe Anonymous (ID: APURRzH9)10/01/14(Wed)17:06:50 No.571641496 How many times did you throw this into Google Translate? Lost it erect my penis My sides are in a different dimension 92571641972 can' stoplaughing at how him geting the boot tanslated to get a shoe >571640928 (OP My sides have ascended to another plane
571642460 erect my penis gold (50 KB, 500x644) ■ AnonymousOD @isi) 10 01/14(Wed)17:00:38 No 571640928 >>571641037225716412202-5716412902-57164 1308-5716413612571641552 be finnish >45 year old movement teacher student are 12-13 they had tight cloth on today was after class the girl go into a shower >can see more nudism body her breast grow to the f--- little hair look has the trim erect my penis >"do you have ok she look out to me in wet shoulder hair >cover breast growth but can both nipple Anonymous (ID: Gszaan) 10/01/14(Wed)17:05:12 No.57164 1342 File (24 KB, 314x246) rip english 。Anonymous (ID AMARO) 10/01/14(Wed)17:14:08 №571642173x File: 1406257051691.png (56 KB, 429x287) 22571640928ー laughing for days and i dont know why turn to go into a shower 571640928 (0P Anonymous(D: EN) 10/014Wed 17:17. 15 No >"dont look the shower >"but your body can't say yes she run out to nudism hear she tell to the head master he invited me to the office of his > stop never again or you get a shoe T hat some amazing grammar skills OP 571640928 (0P 571640928 (0P 10/10、/b/ isn't dead I don't want a shoe for my money but what can stop the girl look time? I can see every day the girl when she into a shower and all had a body of good look to make resistence hard for penis every day I have tempetation resist, I can the future too but the head master can give me a shoe ifI look more to the girl shower pic unrelated but the girl body look like many time 571640928 (0P her breast grow to the f--- >57164 can see more nudism body her breast grow to the f--- erect my penis >"stop never again or you get a shoe Anonymous (ID: APURRzH9)10/01/14(Wed)17:06:50 No.571641496 How many times did you throw this into Google Translate? Lost it erect my penis My sides are in a different dimension 92571641972 can' stoplaughing at how him geting the boot tanslated to get a shoe >571640928 (OP My sides have ascended to another plane

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english

Aya Stahk

Anonymous (D: Co79Y105/23/17(Tue)14:50:40 No.12672969712673015722126730161 22126733733 321267349572212673603 221267361602126736630 2126737315 22126737437 22126737503 File: brits.jpg (1.18 MB, 1399x1848) be on vacation in bongland >see Arya Stark gliding down the sidewalk >like a graceful penguin with gout follow her for a block gently touch her shoulder H-hello, I'm Anon. Y-you're the prettiest girl I've seen all day! W-would you join me for dinner? >she spins around nearly smashing me in the balls with an Abercrombie bag >stares intently for a few moments then breaks into a grin that looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SOME FREE GRUB ANNA LITTLE OF THE OL IN OUT! quickly grab her hand and go into the first restaurant I see that has tablecloths FAKKIN ELL! POSH ERE INNIT? GLAD I PUT SUM KNICKERS ON! >she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a horse with it's leg caught in a wood chipper head waiter gives me the stinkeye but leads us to a table >Arya cocks her head and squints at the menu ERE NOW, WATS THIS S----? IT'S ORL IN FAKKIN FRENCH! OI CARNT READ THIS, I'LL END UP GETTIN A PLATE OF FAKKIN SNAILS WUNNOI?!? look at the menu. It's in English, just a fancy script she shoves her menu at the waiter I WONT PIE AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OF LIKKER ON THA MASH, GUV! I'm sorry, madam, we don- 1 SED FAKKIN PIE AND MASH M8! AND A PINTA LARGER FOR ME EDACHE! >he slinks away without even taking my order >Arya pulls a pack of Mayfairs from her cleavage and sparks up, ashing in the bread basket >starts rubbing at her crotch >brings her fingers up and licks them then cackles JOLLY FAKKIN ELL, IT'S ME TIME! OI LUV GITTIN SHAGGED ONNA RAG! GUNNA AVE US A RED WEDDIN INNA LOO, AIN'T WE? >look over my shoulder and franticly signal the waiter for the check >Arya is slumped over the table r---- to death by Pakis
Anonymous (D: Co79Y105/23/17(Tue)14:50:40 No.12672969712673015722126730161 22126733733 321267349572212673603 221267361602126736630 2126737315 22126737437 22126737503 File: brits.jpg (1.18 MB, 1399x1848) be on vacation in bongland >see Arya Stark gliding down the sidewalk >like a graceful penguin with gout follow her for a block gently touch her shoulder H-hello, I'm Anon. Y-you're the prettiest girl I've seen all day! W-would you join me for dinner? >she spins around nearly smashing me in the balls with an Abercrombie bag >stares intently for a few moments then breaks into a grin that looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SOME FREE GRUB ANNA LITTLE OF THE OL IN OUT! quickly grab her hand and go into the first restaurant I see that has tablecloths FAKKIN ELL! POSH ERE INNIT? GLAD I PUT SUM KNICKERS ON! >she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a horse with it's leg caught in a wood chipper head waiter gives me the stinkeye but leads us to a table >Arya cocks her head and squints at the menu ERE NOW, WATS THIS S----? IT'S ORL IN FAKKIN FRENCH! OI CARNT READ THIS, I'LL END UP GETTIN A PLATE OF FAKKIN SNAILS WUNNOI?!? look at the menu. It's in English, just a fancy script she shoves her menu at the waiter I WONT PIE AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OF LIKKER ON THA MASH, GUV! I'm sorry, madam, we don- 1 SED FAKKIN PIE AND MASH M8! AND A PINTA LARGER FOR ME EDACHE! >he slinks away without even taking my order >Arya pulls a pack of Mayfairs from her cleavage and sparks up, ashing in the bread basket >starts rubbing at her crotch >brings her fingers up and licks them then cackles JOLLY FAKKIN ELL, IT'S ME TIME! OI LUV GITTIN SHAGGED ONNA RAG! GUNNA AVE US A RED WEDDIN INNA LOO, AIN'T WE? >look over my shoulder and franticly signal the waiter for the check >Arya is slumped over the table r---- to death by Pakis

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arya stark maisie game of thrones britain england british bong

>live in Brazil

Anonymous (ID: +kjCKehh) 10/01/15(Thu)14:33:21 No.52856597 >Live in Brazil >there are no schools >there are no movie theaters >there are no malls >still get shot 39 KB JPG >>52856936 # >>52857008# >>52857059 # >>52857158 #
Anonymous (ID: +kjCKehh) 10/01/15(Thu)14:33:21 No.52856597 >Live in Brazil >there are no schools >there are no movie theaters >there are no malls >still get shot 39 KB JPG >>52856936 # >>52857008# >>52857059 # >>52857158 #

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brazil brazilian get shot tails gets trolled

Primitive greentext

> 4000 BO > NOT DOING STARTING STICKS >BERRYPICKER AS F--- > ME FACIE TELL BONE SHAMAN I HAVE A CEREMONIAL BONE FOR HER TO CEREMONY >LAUGHING SHAMAN ROCKPEG >BERRIES BURST OUT OF LOINCLOTH
> 4000 BO > NOT DOING STARTING STICKS >BERRYPICKER AS F--- > ME FACIE TELL BONE SHAMAN I HAVE A CEREMONIAL BONE FOR HER TO CEREMONY >LAUGHING SHAMAN ROCKPEG >BERRIES BURST OUT OF LOINCLOTH

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Dwarven Bard - Battle of Gods

5e campaign >All the homebrew >Party consists of Human barbarian and Dragonborn druid >And me, Dwarf bard >Picked bard for persuasion, never utilized any bardic abilities >Basically a fighter with mad Charisma Enter small town >Some dude covered in webs recruits us to kill some spiders Decide to abide by DM's plot device, follows web-covered forest road Eventually reach clearing after a couple of minor fights >Huge-class spider gets the jump on us DM is a sadistic guy, this was our first boss battle >We're level 3 I charge it >whatcouldgowrong.wav >Nat 20 with regular battleaxe to the skull, max rolls >Instakill DM angry that the first boss died so easily to the bard >Travel for a few weeks End up in major city >I ask where I can go to duel some people One of bard's personality traits is overconfidence, so I accept any challenge DM decides to get revenge Invited into some underground dueling club >Basically DM wanted me to die here so I could create a fighter instead of bard >BS my way through a few enemies >"Alright, everybody welcome the champion, Dream and Crusher!" >Notice two names >Ohshit.mp4 >Ettin walk in Axe bigger than entire body >Idea time +8 persuasion because bard >Persuade the Ettin to share a drink with me >Pour Flask of Holding into barrel (Bard is also alcoholic) >Ettin starts drinking literal barrels of mixed brew >Drink potion of firebreathing >Asks Ettin, "Wanna see a magic trick?" >Breath fire into his mouth >Ettin explodes >Take one of the Ettin's heads Turn it in to city guard >Sell out fighting ring, collect sweet reward >DisregardDMsAcquireCurrency.flv >Continue on journey for awhile, nothing special >Do my best to piss off DM through Macgyver-esque nonsense >Return to same town >Party is kidnapped >Wake up in underground arena >Fighting group wants revenge for selling them out AKA DM wants revenge for BSing my way through his campaign >Ideservethis.png >DM pits us against animated suits of armor >Weapons hardly damaging them >Everyone is slowly dying >Almost TPK >Realization >Drink all alcohol I possess, along with all my potions of firebreathing >Cover myself in remaining flammable liquid >Drink potion of giant strength DM tells me if I don't stop drinking everything, I might explode >Littledidheknow.potato >Throw all animated suits into corner >I yell "Do you wanna see a magic trick?" >I tackle them while holding my breath and activating Spew Flames >Insert edgy terrorist joke here >I die, suits of armor die Roll new character, campaign continues as normal, incorporating people from the fighting ring here and there >Super fun, continues for a couple more sessions >Turns out the arena was entirely improvised by the DM >MFW the DM created an entire subplot in his intricate worldbuilding to kill an alcoholic smartass dwarvish bard Feelsgoodman
5e campaign >All the homebrew >Party consists of Human barbarian and Dragonborn druid >And me, Dwarf bard >Picked bard for persuasion, never utilized any bardic abilities >Basically a fighter with mad Charisma Enter small town >Some dude covered in webs recruits us to kill some spiders Decide to abide by DM's plot device, follows web-covered forest road Eventually reach clearing after a couple of minor fights >Huge-class spider gets the jump on us DM is a sadistic guy, this was our first boss battle >We're level 3 I charge it >whatcouldgowrong.wav >Nat 20 with regular battleaxe to the skull, max rolls >Instakill DM angry that the first boss died so easily to the bard >Travel for a few weeks End up in major city >I ask where I can go to duel some people One of bard's personality traits is overconfidence, so I accept any challenge DM decides to get revenge Invited into some underground dueling club >Basically DM wanted me to die here so I could create a fighter instead of bard >BS my way through a few enemies >"Alright, everybody welcome the champion, Dream and Crusher!" >Notice two names >Ohshit.mp4 >Ettin walk in Axe bigger than entire body >Idea time +8 persuasion because bard >Persuade the Ettin to share a drink with me >Pour Flask of Holding into barrel (Bard is also alcoholic) >Ettin starts drinking literal barrels of mixed brew >Drink potion of firebreathing >Asks Ettin, "Wanna see a magic trick?" >Breath fire into his mouth >Ettin explodes >Take one of the Ettin's heads Turn it in to city guard >Sell out fighting ring, collect sweet reward >DisregardDMsAcquireCurrency.flv >Continue on journey for awhile, nothing special >Do my best to piss off DM through Macgyver-esque nonsense >Return to same town >Party is kidnapped >Wake up in underground arena >Fighting group wants revenge for selling them out AKA DM wants revenge for BSing my way through his campaign >Ideservethis.png >DM pits us against animated suits of armor >Weapons hardly damaging them >Everyone is slowly dying >Almost TPK >Realization >Drink all alcohol I possess, along with all my potions of firebreathing >Cover myself in remaining flammable liquid >Drink potion of giant strength DM tells me if I don't stop drinking everything, I might explode >Littledidheknow.potato >Throw all animated suits into corner >I yell "Do you wanna see a magic trick?" >I tackle them while holding my breath and activating Spew Flames >Insert edgy terrorist joke here >I die, suits of armor die Roll new character, campaign continues as normal, incorporating people from the fighting ring here and there >Super fun, continues for a couple more sessions >Turns out the arena was entirely improvised by the DM >MFW the DM created an entire subplot in his intricate worldbuilding to kill an alcoholic smartass dwarvish bard Feelsgoodman

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New years tendies

New year, new me Anonymous 12/31/17(Sun)14:57:31 No.42171084 >watching adult swim in my play room >mommy comes in with a grin >"hey anon, have you heard about this fun new challenge? >fun? i like fun >"its called new year, new me, its when you change for good >it is a challenge? never lose a challenge only normies lose a smug grin grows on my face I will show them, i can change New vear, new me >next day >mum: "anon! wake up! it is time for your "tendies >"mother, i do not want "tendies" I want chicken tenders "anon! whats with the new act?" >new vear, new me >she smiles and gets me tendies and apple juice in a fancy cup >weirdest cup ive seen >i think thats mommy's wine cup >"you know anon, we should celebrate this new year! I'll call chad" >RE- "splendid" i say >Chad comes over "so.. me and chad have a surprise.." surprises? i like surprises >"We are getting married!" >Say "fantastic >chad gets a strange look on his face >Chad:"whats with anon's act? >mommy just laughs and says "new year, new him >chad bursts out laughing and clapping >"T knew he had to grow up at some point, like the time he called tenders "tendies" >THIS NORM >"well, that sure was immature of me "AND THAT TIME WHEN HE WORE ADULT DIAPERS" > "chadford thats enoug "AND REMEMBER WHEN HE USED GOOD BOY POINT- >Take off all my clothes except my diaper that is now full >IM PICKLE REEEEEEEEEEE >Punch chad >"ANON, CALM DOWN SHE >JUST TOLD >ME >TO >CALM DOWN >Punch mommy with a force of 100 elephants >mommy flies and makes a big hole in the wall >mommy will have to fix that up >Chad is escaping >grab table cloth >TEBURUKUROSU LASSOORRUUUUU Reel chad in >"CHADDY YOU HAVE BEEN BADDY YOU CANNOT BE NEW DADDY >Stuff fire crackers in chad's mouth finish it off with my full diaper throw him out the window >chad's head explodes later >mommy wakes up in the hospital "a-anon?" >smile ean in closer >whisper "its time for tendies
New year, new me Anonymous 12/31/17(Sun)14:57:31 No.42171084 >watching adult swim in my play room >mommy comes in with a grin >"hey anon, have you heard about this fun new challenge? >fun? i like fun >"its called new year, new me, its when you change for good >it is a challenge? never lose a challenge only normies lose a smug grin grows on my face I will show them, i can change New vear, new me >next day >mum: "anon! wake up! it is time for your "tendies >"mother, i do not want "tendies" I want chicken tenders "anon! whats with the new act?" >new vear, new me >she smiles and gets me tendies and apple juice in a fancy cup >weirdest cup ive seen >i think thats mommy's wine cup >"you know anon, we should celebrate this new year! I'll call chad" >RE- "splendid" i say >Chad comes over "so.. me and chad have a surprise.." surprises? i like surprises >"We are getting married!" >Say "fantastic >chad gets a strange look on his face >Chad:"whats with anon's act? >mommy just laughs and says "new year, new him >chad bursts out laughing and clapping >"T knew he had to grow up at some point, like the time he called tenders "tendies" >THIS NORM >"well, that sure was immature of me "AND THAT TIME WHEN HE WORE ADULT DIAPERS" > "chadford thats enoug "AND REMEMBER WHEN HE USED GOOD BOY POINT- >Take off all my clothes except my diaper that is now full >IM PICKLE REEEEEEEEEEE >Punch chad >"ANON, CALM DOWN SHE >JUST TOLD >ME >TO >CALM DOWN >Punch mommy with a force of 100 elephants >mommy flies and makes a big hole in the wall >mommy will have to fix that up >Chad is escaping >grab table cloth >TEBURUKUROSU LASSOORRUUUUU Reel chad in >"CHADDY YOU HAVE BEEN BADDY YOU CANNOT BE NEW DADDY >Stuff fire crackers in chad's mouth finish it off with my full diaper throw him out the window >chad's head explodes later >mommy wakes up in the hospital "a-anon?" >smile ean in closer >whisper "its time for tendies

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Way of the Thrown Orc Shlong

>Be me >Playing second ever campaign with 3 other people (Dm 1 edgy elf rogue 1 dwarf druid) >I'm playing as a monk >Weaboo af >Some noble tells us to help a village in the mountains >Party goes "sure, why not" as we don't wanna f--- up DM's quest line >We arrive to the village and it's almost empty except for two orcs and a few scared (human) villagers Turns out a nearby orc tribe has kidnapped all the women and killed all the men >eeh...ok.gif >We arrive at orc camp, kill all the orcs Out steps the orc war boss, and at this point we're all at low HP >guesswe'lldie.jpeg War boss goes straight for edgy rogue (who is squishy af) >Is too far away for melee so decide to act quickly >Cut off the d--- of one of his fallen orc comrades and throws it at him DM says he'll allow it but it doesn't count as a ranged weapon (but i think "hey, at least it might aggro him on me instead of squishy rogue") >Whole party in suspense as i roll dice >NAT F------ 20 >Monk character reaches maximum enlightenment, discovers new monastic tradition: way of the thrown penis >The orc d--- lands directly in his mouth One last orc who was apparently on patrol walks in and sees his boss with a cut off d--- in his mouth >He is so ashamed of his boss, he helps us take him down >Slightly homophobic orc becomes new team-member (played by DM) >After this glorious victory we rescue the women Apparently the orcs were using them as breeding animals to get half-orc warriors to fight off a goblin invasion or some s--- >We were supposed to be shocked, but we were still laughing from my epic d----throw >That moment when DM tries his best to create a serious dark campaign and it's all ruined by an orc d--- and a weaboo monk
>Be me >Playing second ever campaign with 3 other people (Dm 1 edgy elf rogue 1 dwarf druid) >I'm playing as a monk >Weaboo af >Some noble tells us to help a village in the mountains >Party goes "sure, why not" as we don't wanna f--- up DM's quest line >We arrive to the village and it's almost empty except for two orcs and a few scared (human) villagers Turns out a nearby orc tribe has kidnapped all the women and killed all the men >eeh...ok.gif >We arrive at orc camp, kill all the orcs Out steps the orc war boss, and at this point we're all at low HP >guesswe'lldie.jpeg War boss goes straight for edgy rogue (who is squishy af) >Is too far away for melee so decide to act quickly >Cut off the d--- of one of his fallen orc comrades and throws it at him DM says he'll allow it but it doesn't count as a ranged weapon (but i think "hey, at least it might aggro him on me instead of squishy rogue") >Whole party in suspense as i roll dice >NAT F------ 20 >Monk character reaches maximum enlightenment, discovers new monastic tradition: way of the thrown penis >The orc d--- lands directly in his mouth One last orc who was apparently on patrol walks in and sees his boss with a cut off d--- in his mouth >He is so ashamed of his boss, he helps us take him down >Slightly homophobic orc becomes new team-member (played by DM) >After this glorious victory we rescue the women Apparently the orcs were using them as breeding animals to get half-orc warriors to fight off a goblin invasion or some s--- >We were supposed to be shocked, but we were still laughing from my epic d----throw >That moment when DM tries his best to create a serious dark campaign and it's all ruined by an orc d--- and a weaboo monk

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d&d orc monk weeaboo way of the thrown penis

Local Japanese Man Takes The Train

Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:50:52 No. 175139328 ->>175139418 >>175139475 175138640 be a grumpy depressed japanese salaryman going to work Poh boy, here's the train, the start of your daily hell, the izuhakone... happy party train? the cars are covered in anime idols staring at you smiling, arms stretched out begging for a hug disgusting get inside, hoping to be free of that shameful trash the inside is also lined with anime the seats are covered in anime there's anime hanging from the ceiling half the passengers are wearing robes adorned with the likenesses of anime characters >kuso actually manage to grab a seat, just because one of the otaku thought you were scary looking Phear 'hagul as soon as you sit down a pair of robotic arms fly out from the seat and gently rest on your torso lifelike texture otaku and a few rail staff turn towards you and start clapping Sooooh, one millionth passenger!" "kanan gave him a hug! lucky bastard" "i want a hug from kanan" stand up in disgust f------ suwa nanaka makes her way through the crowd and gives you the biggest hug her underdeveloped eternal loli body can muster and tells you to have a nice day you do not have a nice day your country, your beautiful country, is gone you work to support your family so they can live in this place? take a smoke break at work and jump off the roof
Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:50:52 No. 175139328 ->>175139418 >>175139475 175138640 be a grumpy depressed japanese salaryman going to work Poh boy, here's the train, the start of your daily hell, the izuhakone... happy party train? the cars are covered in anime idols staring at you smiling, arms stretched out begging for a hug disgusting get inside, hoping to be free of that shameful trash the inside is also lined with anime the seats are covered in anime there's anime hanging from the ceiling half the passengers are wearing robes adorned with the likenesses of anime characters >kuso actually manage to grab a seat, just because one of the otaku thought you were scary looking Phear 'hagul as soon as you sit down a pair of robotic arms fly out from the seat and gently rest on your torso lifelike texture otaku and a few rail staff turn towards you and start clapping Sooooh, one millionth passenger!" "kanan gave him a hug! lucky bastard" "i want a hug from kanan" stand up in disgust f------ suwa nanaka makes her way through the crowd and gives you the biggest hug her underdeveloped eternal loli body can muster and tells you to have a nice day you do not have a nice day your country, your beautiful country, is gone you work to support your family so they can live in this place? take a smoke break at work and jump off the roof

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Welp. You gotta figure out that one for yourself anon

Anonymous 12/24/17(Sun)19:15:01 No.754797723 no social media only go on reddit and 4chan >I hate reddit >4chan hates me どehh . 18 KB PNG
Anonymous 12/24/17(Sun)19:15:01 No.754797723 no social media only go on reddit and 4chan >I hate reddit >4chan hates me どehh . 18 KB PNG

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social media reddit 4chan pepe no credit to anon

anon finds happiness

296970883 childhood best >Have lifelong childhood best friend who is a girl >We swear 1 00% never to be boyfriend and girlfriend >Come 18 we're f------ like rabbits >Married her at 25 >>96983342 # Anonymous 11/22/17(Wed)15:10:37 No.9698334 >>96978978 # How does happiness feel anon? Care to share it with us?
296970883 childhood best >Have lifelong childhood best friend who is a girl >We swear 1 00% never to be boyfriend and girlfriend >Come 18 we're f------ like rabbits >Married her at 25 >>96983342 # Anonymous 11/22/17(Wed)15:10:37 No.9698334 >>96978978 # How does happiness feel anon? Care to share it with us?

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D&D Betrayal

□ Anonymous 11/25/14(Tue)18:28:53 No.5853006 >>5853020 >>5857450 >>5859006 1381741170733.png (27 KB, 144x161) google igdb saucenao igdb regex I'M NOT 5851751 SURE WHAT'S >Be concubine character >High bluff but very basic combat skills and nothing for utility >Supposed to be high level campaign but I'm adamant this is who I want to go with GOING ON, BUT MY A------ IS>Have to be carried through every fight basically, party thoroughly annoyed IN DANGER! Finally make it to dark lord's fortress >Betray party and announce I love the dark lord and will do anything for him >Party locked in dungeon while dark lord and me have wedding ceremony >We retire to his chambers to consummate, at this point party telling me and DM to stop this is f------ stupid they just want to D&D not bear witness to our ERP >The dark lord turns his back on us and I reveal myself >Concubine opens her legs and epic level halfling rogue slides out of her ass >This was my true character all along rg/srdie skills.htm#extremelyTightSpa >l've been rolling to stay hidden up her ass the entire campaign to get close enough to the dark lord to assassinate him >Concubine is just a hired NPC that DM agreed probably had an a--- circumference of more than 2 inches and was willing to let it slide >One last roll >With his legendary armour removed and his back turned he never sees me coming >Shoot up there like a flash before he even knows what's happening >Destroy him from the inside like a whirling dervish >Free party from dungeons and clean up the rest of his minions >Entire group is speechless and that was how I saved the l and
□ Anonymous 11/25/14(Tue)18:28:53 No.5853006 >>5853020 >>5857450 >>5859006 1381741170733.png (27 KB, 144x161) google igdb saucenao igdb regex I'M NOT 5851751 SURE WHAT'S >Be concubine character >High bluff but very basic combat skills and nothing for utility >Supposed to be high level campaign but I'm adamant this is who I want to go with GOING ON, BUT MY A------ IS>Have to be carried through every fight basically, party thoroughly annoyed IN DANGER! Finally make it to dark lord's fortress >Betray party and announce I love the dark lord and will do anything for him >Party locked in dungeon while dark lord and me have wedding ceremony >We retire to his chambers to consummate, at this point party telling me and DM to stop this is f------ stupid they just want to D&D not bear witness to our ERP >The dark lord turns his back on us and I reveal myself >Concubine opens her legs and epic level halfling rogue slides out of her ass >This was my true character all along rg/srdie skills.htm#extremelyTightSpa >l've been rolling to stay hidden up her ass the entire campaign to get close enough to the dark lord to assassinate him >Concubine is just a hired NPC that DM agreed probably had an a--- circumference of more than 2 inches and was willing to let it slide >One last roll >With his legendary armour removed and his back turned he never sees me coming >Shoot up there like a flash before he even knows what's happening >Destroy him from the inside like a whirling dervish >Free party from dungeons and clean up the rest of his minions >Entire group is speechless and that was how I saved the l and

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[cue "Sounds of Silence"]

Anonymous 12/16/17(Sat)00:03:13 No.97512319 2297510521 # Girl asked me out for a coffee yesterday >"I don't drink coffee" >"Well, you don't have to 36 KB JPG get any" >"What, and just watch you drink coffee for 15 minutes?" Why do l do this to myself # >>97516945 # >>97529252 # >297544102 # >>97545596 # >297545645 # >>97550152 # >>97559084 >7
Anonymous 12/16/17(Sat)00:03:13 No.97512319 2297510521 # Girl asked me out for a coffee yesterday >"I don't drink coffee" >"Well, you don't have to 36 KB JPG get any" >"What, and just watch you drink coffee for 15 minutes?" Why do l do this to myself # >>97516945 # >>97529252 # >297544102 # >>97545596 # >297545645 # >>97550152 # >>97559084 >7

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Burn

12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No. 152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >> 152305387 (OP) # 1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree california burns down
12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No. 152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >> 152305387 (OP) # 1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree california burns down

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This is the future that sjw want.

File: faminisum.ipg (34 KB, 560x330) Anonymous 12/04/17 (Mon)13:53:05 No.752885998 [Reply752886712 The year is 2020… >Be me >Arrive at campus >Go through mandated privilege checkpoint >"State your privilege" >Um... white? And um >I'm cut off and immediately sent to the back of the line because it's not fair I got in line before other races of people >After an hour of being sent to the back of the line l can finally go to class > Teacher tells us to open our books but I don't have one because I'm white and that would give me an unfair privilege over others >She asks a question >No one responds >Hey I know this! >l raise my hand >Yes anon go to the gender neutral bathroom >"Uh... no I um... wanted to answer the question. >I'm met by several gasps and all of the black kids turn and look at me ANON YOU KNOW YOU"RE SUPPOSE TO CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE AND ALLOW EVERYONE ELSE TO ANSWER FIRST! >She sends me to the mandated privilege office where I receive a strike > "Now stay out of trouble anon." >"Uh yea thank you ma'am "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER >I'm given two more strikes and expelled >I walk outside devastated.. but I see a pretty girl >l walk up "um hi im an.. >YOU DIDNT ANNOUNCE YOUR PRESENCE AND ASK CONSENT R--- R--- >She screams and campus security tackles me >I'm tried amongst the high courts (all women men aren't allowed to work in legal system) > "How does the defendant plea." >GUILTY." My lawyer screeches >fuckingwhat.jpeg Uh no I don't?" >The judge in a rage "ARE YOU MANSPLAINING TO HER >They send me immediately to a death camp where I'm given a number and given the choice of castration and emasculation or death >We are a lined up and marched into the gas chamber >I glance at the man to my side >"What are you in for dude?" >Did you just assume my gender?" >The gas nozzles flick on >Mfw
File: faminisum.ipg (34 KB, 560x330) Anonymous 12/04/17 (Mon)13:53:05 No.752885998 [Reply752886712 The year is 2020… >Be me >Arrive at campus >Go through mandated privilege checkpoint >"State your privilege" >Um... white? And um >I'm cut off and immediately sent to the back of the line because it's not fair I got in line before other races of people >After an hour of being sent to the back of the line l can finally go to class > Teacher tells us to open our books but I don't have one because I'm white and that would give me an unfair privilege over others >She asks a question >No one responds >Hey I know this! >l raise my hand >Yes anon go to the gender neutral bathroom >"Uh... no I um... wanted to answer the question. >I'm met by several gasps and all of the black kids turn and look at me ANON YOU KNOW YOU"RE SUPPOSE TO CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE AND ALLOW EVERYONE ELSE TO ANSWER FIRST! >She sends me to the mandated privilege office where I receive a strike > "Now stay out of trouble anon." >"Uh yea thank you ma'am "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER >I'm given two more strikes and expelled >I walk outside devastated.. but I see a pretty girl >l walk up "um hi im an.. >YOU DIDNT ANNOUNCE YOUR PRESENCE AND ASK CONSENT R--- R--- >She screams and campus security tackles me >I'm tried amongst the high courts (all women men aren't allowed to work in legal system) > "How does the defendant plea." >GUILTY." My lawyer screeches >fuckingwhat.jpeg Uh no I don't?" >The judge in a rage "ARE YOU MANSPLAINING TO HER >They send me immediately to a death camp where I'm given a number and given the choice of castration and emasculation or death >We are a lined up and marched into the gas chamber >I glance at the man to my side >"What are you in for dude?" >Did you just assume my gender?" >The gas nozzles flick on >Mfw

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Anon's childhood.

>be me when I was like 13 grew up kinda poor, but my family had a lot of land (like 15-20 acres) l was really fascinated with military entrenchment and engineering for some reason parents ask me what I want for my birthday I tell them a nice shovel birthday comes around and my dad was able to find an actual WWIl German e-tool ask them if I can dig a hole I'm out all day from before sunrise to after sunset come back to the house dirty as f--- >"Did you dig to China or what?" they come out and look what I've done I've successfully dug about 50 yards of an underground g---- style tunnel network reinforced it with timber from the nearby burn pile >mom starts flipping out, what if it collapsed, what if I got sick what if I got lost etc etc >aaa promises τ。go aown ana see if it's safe "Honey.... this is kinda cool. dad and I spend the next couple weekends adding to my tunnel network we would play "tunnel rat" where one of us was a VC and the other was a Gl and we had to clear out or defend the command post" at the center with our nerf pistols always came out at the end of the day completely filthy and had a cup of hot chocolate in the kitchen, mom didn't seem to like that as much as we did haha Dad just died about a year back. Today would have bee his 65th birthday if it weren't for the car accident. Him and mom never had the money to give me shiny toys or the best education money could buy, but he always gave me his time. Me and mom miss you, dad
>be me when I was like 13 grew up kinda poor, but my family had a lot of land (like 15-20 acres) l was really fascinated with military entrenchment and engineering for some reason parents ask me what I want for my birthday I tell them a nice shovel birthday comes around and my dad was able to find an actual WWIl German e-tool ask them if I can dig a hole I'm out all day from before sunrise to after sunset come back to the house dirty as f--- >"Did you dig to China or what?" they come out and look what I've done I've successfully dug about 50 yards of an underground g---- style tunnel network reinforced it with timber from the nearby burn pile >mom starts flipping out, what if it collapsed, what if I got sick what if I got lost etc etc >aaa promises τ。go aown ana see if it's safe "Honey.... this is kinda cool. dad and I spend the next couple weekends adding to my tunnel network we would play "tunnel rat" where one of us was a VC and the other was a Gl and we had to clear out or defend the command post" at the center with our nerf pistols always came out at the end of the day completely filthy and had a cup of hot chocolate in the kitchen, mom didn't seem to like that as much as we did haha Dad just died about a year back. Today would have bee his 65th birthday if it weren't for the car accident. Him and mom never had the money to give me shiny toys or the best education money could buy, but he always gave me his time. Me and mom miss you, dad

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Game of Throner

Anonymous 07/26/17(Wed)16:38:37 No.85481697 File: 1402734441962.ipg (95 KB, 500x514) >-85482338 >>85483846 >-85483911 >>85484389 >Finish watching a Game of Thrones decide to go to movie theater >dress in my furs, boiled leather, and hauberk, befitting my status as a Northman fill my pockets with roasted capon, and Frey pie, in case i get hungry bring a skin of wine smy mom drives me to the theater, but I pretend she's a destrier since Ned Stark's mom never drove him >get in line to get my ticket >speak in a clear and proud Northman voice >the smallfolk distributing tickets clearly respect me, "Theater 3, ok?" >"The North remembers!" >witness what appears to be a Summer Islander accosting a fair maid realize she will reward me with her maidenhood for helping >"Summer Islander, leave that chaste maid be. Are you of Jalabhar Xho's tribe?" >he looks at me confused: "Yo wat dis cracka talkin bout?" >"You look strange without your feather-cloak, Summer Islander. Leave us." stry to keep up a brave face, but realize the pie and capon have leaked out of my pockets and are overflowing from my sweatpants >"Yo dis cracka s--- hisself!" >Other Summer Islanders suddenly surround me Begin some sort of dance from their native isles, chanting "Woop there it is!" >Not sure what IT is, I attempt to escape and summon my bannermen >my cape gets caught on the door >slam my head and wake up in an ambulance >my mom is giving me a frustrated look: "No more watching Game of Thrones, Anon." >"It is known, mother."
Anonymous 07/26/17(Wed)16:38:37 No.85481697 File: 1402734441962.ipg (95 KB, 500x514) >-85482338 >>85483846 >-85483911 >>85484389 >Finish watching a Game of Thrones decide to go to movie theater >dress in my furs, boiled leather, and hauberk, befitting my status as a Northman fill my pockets with roasted capon, and Frey pie, in case i get hungry bring a skin of wine smy mom drives me to the theater, but I pretend she's a destrier since Ned Stark's mom never drove him >get in line to get my ticket >speak in a clear and proud Northman voice >the smallfolk distributing tickets clearly respect me, "Theater 3, ok?" >"The North remembers!" >witness what appears to be a Summer Islander accosting a fair maid realize she will reward me with her maidenhood for helping >"Summer Islander, leave that chaste maid be. Are you of Jalabhar Xho's tribe?" >he looks at me confused: "Yo wat dis cracka talkin bout?" >"You look strange without your feather-cloak, Summer Islander. Leave us." stry to keep up a brave face, but realize the pie and capon have leaked out of my pockets and are overflowing from my sweatpants >"Yo dis cracka s--- hisself!" >Other Summer Islanders suddenly surround me Begin some sort of dance from their native isles, chanting "Woop there it is!" >Not sure what IT is, I attempt to escape and summon my bannermen >my cape gets caught on the door >slam my head and wake up in an ambulance >my mom is giving me a frustrated look: "No more watching Game of Thrones, Anon." >"It is known, mother."

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Pleb

Anonymous (ID: IXc+Yxye) 12/01/12(Sat)20:40:42 No.440 File: 1354412442816.jpg-(244 KB, 677x782, Pleb.jpg) ITT: old feels >be legionnaire >seiging carthage >in streets >see XIX ancilla >byneptune.mosaic >run out of formation >tell her I will give her 5 denarii for servicing >"non porcus" >feel pastae dripping out of armor >cartheginian arrow goes through my eye >pleb as f---
Anonymous (ID: IXc+Yxye) 12/01/12(Sat)20:40:42 No.440 File: 1354412442816.jpg-(244 KB, 677x782, Pleb.jpg) ITT: old feels >be legionnaire >seiging carthage >in streets >see XIX ancilla >byneptune.mosaic >run out of formation >tell her I will give her 5 denarii for servicing >"non porcus" >feel pastae dripping out of armor >cartheginian arrow goes through my eye >pleb as f---

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Blazing

Anonymous (ID: Oi/IMEHO ) 04/26/14(Sat)01:38:43 No.543898176 >Be a cop >Patrolling, doing cop things See a quy driving like 15 miles below the speed limit >Swerving around like a m----------- 36 KB JPG >Can see lots of smoke coming out of his windows >Assume he's blazing it, pull him over >Walk up to his window and he rolls it down >He's got a f------ hot plate plugged into his c-------- lighter >M----------- is making pancakes while driving and burned them
Anonymous (ID: Oi/IMEHO ) 04/26/14(Sat)01:38:43 No.543898176 >Be a cop >Patrolling, doing cop things See a quy driving like 15 miles below the speed limit >Swerving around like a m----------- 36 KB JPG >Can see lots of smoke coming out of his windows >Assume he's blazing it, pull him over >Walk up to his window and he rolls it down >He's got a f------ hot plate plugged into his c-------- lighter >M----------- is making pancakes while driving and burned them

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Ron Paul 2008

Anonymous (ID: CINHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging vyour lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit
Anonymous (ID: CINHW8YS) 06/24/14(Tue)00:32:23 No.552734235 rent a convertible sports car and a parachute >get your favorite handgun and shoot it in the air around a police station >high speed chase ensues lead the police into the desert and wait for media choppers >itstime.jpg tie parachute cord around your neck and throw a brick on the gas >deploy parachute, snapping your neck and simultaniously dragging vyour lifeless body into the air behind the car >parasail across the desert until your car dies Bonus points if the parachute says Ron Paul 2008 Bonus points if wearing assless fursuit

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