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G Force

□ Anonymous 09/23/12(Sun)17:1 7 No. 1 560041 54 Replies: 22156004242 >>156 File: 1348435029381.ipg-(179 KB, 640x905, gforce10.jpg) Be 16 living away at dads house >Little half sister lives there too with step mother Be grounded for having s----- grades >No vidya Little sister still has PS2 hooked up in the basement >Only game is pic related >Step mom and Dad are upstairs arguing > Sneak down and turn it on >TV is Disney Princess TV (Next pic) >Boot up PS2 >Grab controller (Fathers NFL controller from his PS2) >Start playing G-Force Game is so bad but I don't give a f--- >Hear sister coming down stairs (small feet) >Panic (cont) □ Anonymous 09/23/12(Sun)17:18 No. 156004242 Replies: >>1560043 1222156 File: 1348435080314.ipg-(17 KB, 500x375, fF6e.jpg) 156004154 >Peaks in and says >"Hey anon, how do you get past that part?" Show her with my f------ nervous charisma S"T'm gonna go grab some gushers" >Walks back upstairs >Hear arguing stop >Get to Hamster ball boss in G-Force >Health is almost gone >Boss is almost dead > So intense >Hear foot steps coming down the stairs >Haven't used the bathroom in a while >Father busts in with Gushers >Sister behind him She's smiling >He grabs my collar and yanks me up >I start feeling sick >He's yelling at me (cont) □ Anonymous 09/23/12(Sun)17:18 No. 156004312 Replies: >2156004492 221564 File: 1348435125273 jpg-(73 KB, 600x600, nfl-wsh082461 04 1.jpg) 156004242 S--- myself >S--- leaking down my leg >Gets all over fathers NFL controller >He had let my sister use it because hers broke >Hamster boss on G-force kills me >Game over Didn't save >Father beats my ass without realizing I had s--- myself >Gets s--- on hand >Backs away GO TO THE BATHROOM ANON!" Never allowed downstairs again when grounded Move back to moms shortly after F--- my sister Pic is the controller
□ Anonymous 09/23/12(Sun)17:1 7 No. 1 560041 54 Replies: 22156004242 >>156 File: 1348435029381.ipg-(179 KB, 640x905, gforce10.jpg) Be 16 living away at dads house >Little half sister lives there too with step mother Be grounded for having s----- grades >No vidya Little sister still has PS2 hooked up in the basement >Only game is pic related >Step mom and Dad are upstairs arguing > Sneak down and turn it on >TV is Disney Princess TV (Next pic) >Boot up PS2 >Grab controller (Fathers NFL controller from his PS2) >Start playing G-Force Game is so bad but I don't give a f--- >Hear sister coming down stairs (small feet) >Panic (cont) □ Anonymous 09/23/12(Sun)17:18 No. 156004242 Replies: >>1560043 1222156 File: 1348435080314.ipg-(17 KB, 500x375, fF6e.jpg) 156004154 >Peaks in and says >"Hey anon, how do you get past that part?" Show her with my f------ nervous charisma S"T'm gonna go grab some gushers" >Walks back upstairs >Hear arguing stop >Get to Hamster ball boss in G-Force >Health is almost gone >Boss is almost dead > So intense >Hear foot steps coming down the stairs >Haven't used the bathroom in a while >Father busts in with Gushers >Sister behind him She's smiling >He grabs my collar and yanks me up >I start feeling sick >He's yelling at me (cont) □ Anonymous 09/23/12(Sun)17:18 No. 156004312 Replies: >2156004492 221564 File: 1348435125273 jpg-(73 KB, 600x600, nfl-wsh082461 04 1.jpg) 156004242 S--- myself >S--- leaking down my leg >Gets all over fathers NFL controller >He had let my sister use it because hers broke >Hamster boss on G-force kills me >Game over Didn't save >Father beats my ass without realizing I had s--- myself >Gets s--- on hand >Backs away GO TO THE BATHROOM ANON!" Never allowed downstairs again when grounded Move back to moms shortly after F--- my sister Pic is the controller

Greentext Stories
g force xbox hamster controller sister

Drumpf Tweeter

IMG 2446.png (240 KB, 750x1334) Anonymous (ID: mSCIH1TL ) 08/26/17(Sat)14:50:00 Tweet 0 曰 No.139140573 >>139142654 Imagine being the guy who writes 40+ tweets every time drumpf breathes wake up about to check phone to see if drunpf posted a tweet oh my f------ god he did >he's telling the citizens of Texas to stay safe angry sweat breaks on my face >begin to call him names and bring up fake news >cry after he blocks me for harassing him -but I laugh my ass off every time I respond to his tweets >another day of saving America and bash the fash my dad walks in and tells me to get a job >punch that f------ nazi in the face for telling me to work in an evil capitalist society. >Morefashhasbeenbashed.jpg watch SNL and CNN and fall asleep >Today was a good day
IMG 2446.png (240 KB, 750x1334) Anonymous (ID: mSCIH1TL ) 08/26/17(Sat)14:50:00 Tweet 0 曰 No.139140573 >>139142654 Imagine being the guy who writes 40+ tweets every time drumpf breathes wake up about to check phone to see if drunpf posted a tweet oh my f------ god he did >he's telling the citizens of Texas to stay safe angry sweat breaks on my face >begin to call him names and bring up fake news >cry after he blocks me for harassing him -but I laugh my ass off every time I respond to his tweets >another day of saving America and bash the fash my dad walks in and tells me to get a job >punch that f------ nazi in the face for telling me to work in an evil capitalist society. >Morefashhasbeenbashed.jpg watch SNL and CNN and fall asleep >Today was a good day

Greentext Stories
drumpf twitter tweet trump

Don

down eventually gets into the part, state comng to schood with a red rose an hia pocket and starts picking up a sican accent bone weok he insists we heid to pt on of the teaches on the ist theapis had brainwashed him into thinking that whacking people with a chair was not OK rvertually in rugs to convince hin that the thersqíst Idd him, so beta,bes he w actually afrid of hin Don Enaly eawakers, he s all jacked up and pumped because af my AMNs Ike a f------ hino through the crowd against the snich, tripping him over the stars ylang Story hori a loc al policomun passes by. ho gots1ho idoa thal the snitch bu!ying Don -Has developed a real addicion to Dragon Bails AMVs, s now convinced he is some kind of mafioso super sayan The Don has now a soc ial ife. frends and frequent power trips, courtesy of DB AMV sone downy al the aftemoon school is obviousy not ok with the Don's success we try to caln m down and aad anhr hino charge by feeding aim Mas Ba i get a special mention for being friend with him (as an emmple of tolerance, bla bla bla) oventually tho Don not ouspendod thanks to our rontenc。wo oven got th0 school's director to ignop him The Don keeps hia heart low for a few days, he mun invites me alt hs place one day ofind a bottle of pilis on the kchen's tabla sppreny they got the tueier under Xanas we get ourselves invited at the Don's place ance mone to complete the ordeal the Don has cbviously mot takon soo well his gun mois betrayal and the cther downy sanding him into therapy >As consigiee, i demand the newconer to show hs warth to be admtted nto the farly parents stil tink he is cn xanax 3◇ they are sending him to the tard school again aftemoos tard weangers arange some kind of social game for tards where they have so guess a thing ahile bidfoides -Geme goes wel for e while apparenly boh the Don and his semesis are doing just fine Arch nemesis thinks it is oviously a good idea to slap him in he back of he head wranglrs cal parents onca e, scawny kid testifss for the Don saying he was provoked n 2 months than years of useless peld tutors. His parents even got him off "Xanex tvory month wo had the List. (and or o f tholantors was consistam y rt。it rNow it was mostly about hdying (ther kids LrxH they eame 10 the ten to pay him poets by kissing his ring usually giggles and point his brown finger at the Don whenever he get out of school -by non it's basically 2 àd gypsies vs 5 kids the Lemon and now fuming Don the ofhar gypsy standing is now alone agairst the oEet 4 madk men stats screaning for ha LOCAL ROMANIAN GANG ATTACKS AND INJURIES MENTALLY HANDICAPPED KIDS 3 ARRESTS -and snce we are close to elections, the mayor sends the cops to clear the camp and kick the ovppos out a week Ister cling secuity conce -as his trasted Consigiore i make surs none of the smaler kids get to challenge the Don's hagsmony
down eventually gets into the part, state comng to schood with a red rose an hia pocket and starts picking up a sican accent bone weok he insists we heid to pt on of the teaches on the ist theapis had brainwashed him into thinking that whacking people with a chair was not OK rvertually in rugs to convince hin that the thersqíst Idd him, so beta,bes he w actually afrid of hin Don Enaly eawakers, he s all jacked up and pumped because af my AMNs Ike a f------ hino through the crowd against the snich, tripping him over the stars ylang Story hori a loc al policomun passes by. ho gots1ho idoa thal the snitch bu!ying Don -Has developed a real addicion to Dragon Bails AMVs, s now convinced he is some kind of mafioso super sayan The Don has now a soc ial ife. frends and frequent power trips, courtesy of DB AMV sone downy al the aftemoon school is obviousy not ok with the Don's success we try to caln m down and aad anhr hino charge by feeding aim Mas Ba i get a special mention for being friend with him (as an emmple of tolerance, bla bla bla) oventually tho Don not ouspendod thanks to our rontenc。wo oven got th0 school's director to ignop him The Don keeps hia heart low for a few days, he mun invites me alt hs place one day ofind a bottle of pilis on the kchen's tabla sppreny they got the tueier under Xanas we get ourselves invited at the Don's place ance mone to complete the ordeal the Don has cbviously mot takon soo well his gun mois betrayal and the cther downy sanding him into therapy >As consigiee, i demand the newconer to show hs warth to be admtted nto the farly parents stil tink he is cn xanax 3◇ they are sending him to the tard school again aftemoos tard weangers arange some kind of social game for tards where they have so guess a thing ahile bidfoides -Geme goes wel for e while apparenly boh the Don and his semesis are doing just fine Arch nemesis thinks it is oviously a good idea to slap him in he back of he head wranglrs cal parents onca e, scawny kid testifss for the Don saying he was provoked n 2 months than years of useless peld tutors. His parents even got him off "Xanex tvory month wo had the List. (and or o f tholantors was consistam y rt。it rNow it was mostly about hdying (ther kids LrxH they eame 10 the ten to pay him poets by kissing his ring usually giggles and point his brown finger at the Don whenever he get out of school -by non it's basically 2 àd gypsies vs 5 kids the Lemon and now fuming Don the ofhar gypsy standing is now alone agairst the oEet 4 madk men stats screaning for ha LOCAL ROMANIAN GANG ATTACKS AND INJURIES MENTALLY HANDICAPPED KIDS 3 ARRESTS -and snce we are close to elections, the mayor sends the cops to clear the camp and kick the ovppos out a week Ister cling secuity conce -as his trasted Consigiore i make surs none of the smaler kids get to challenge the Don's hagsmony

Greentext Stories
don tard story

Disappearing Act

.-File: kremit.png (278 KB, 902x902) Anonymous 04/23/17(Sun)17:34:29 No.730266162 Reply] >be me decide to j------- accidentally blow load on floor, go get tissue to clean it up it's gone mfw
.-File: kremit.png (278 KB, 902x902) Anonymous 04/23/17(Sun)17:34:29 No.730266162 Reply] >be me decide to j------- accidentally blow load on floor, go get tissue to clean it up it's gone mfw

Greentext Stories
fap disappear wat

Deaffart

File: 1342889711888.ipg (41 KB, 447x425) □ Anonymous (ID: b2GUC90E) 05/17/14(Sat)13:24:46 No.546835062 ITT Deaf people problems >l learned farting makes a sound at 20 Was with gf (not my first one) >At dinner in a very nice place >Waiter asking me for my order and my a------ needs to flex >Waiter gives look of disgust and terror Itwaswet PNG >Gf signs me asking if I s--- myself >l have no clue what's going orn >my girlfriend had to explain to me with the waiter right there that F--- I just farted and that they make noise and that this particular one made everyone in the room stop talking >Mfw ive farted in front of everyone I know and nobody has ever said anything to me l excused myself to the bathroom and never talked to her again □ Anonymous (ID: Jw6J5EFe) 05/17/14(Sat)13:27:24 No.546835350 File: 1374 (47 KB, 321x374) this has got to be the greatest thing i ever read □ Anonymous (ID: qq9pYIE8) 05/17/14(Sat)13:28:33 No. 546835464、2>54683621722546836321 File: I (85 KB, 425x282)
File: 1342889711888.ipg (41 KB, 447x425) □ Anonymous (ID: b2GUC90E) 05/17/14(Sat)13:24:46 No.546835062 ITT Deaf people problems >l learned farting makes a sound at 20 Was with gf (not my first one) >At dinner in a very nice place >Waiter asking me for my order and my a------ needs to flex >Waiter gives look of disgust and terror Itwaswet PNG >Gf signs me asking if I s--- myself >l have no clue what's going orn >my girlfriend had to explain to me with the waiter right there that F--- I just farted and that they make noise and that this particular one made everyone in the room stop talking >Mfw ive farted in front of everyone I know and nobody has ever said anything to me l excused myself to the bathroom and never talked to her again □ Anonymous (ID: Jw6J5EFe) 05/17/14(Sat)13:27:24 No.546835350 File: 1374 (47 KB, 321x374) this has got to be the greatest thing i ever read □ Anonymous (ID: qq9pYIE8) 05/17/14(Sat)13:28:33 No. 546835464、2>54683621722546836321 File: I (85 KB, 425x282)

Greentext Stories
deaf fart restaurant date epic fail

Raw Cookie Dough

(1.52 MB, 2592x1944, IMG 20130407 165030 jpg) Anonymous (ID: 00bbGt10) 04/07/13(Sun)17:51:45 No.47 1001279 Replies: 471002008 >347 1004848 >>4710085 >see a bat of cookie dough in the fridge taste sample read on the cover saying "DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH' fuckthatshitjpg eat several spoonfuls of cookie dough s--- was so cash >middle of the night sleeping wake up due to a bad smell >my butt cheeks feel wet Popen covers there was liquid s--- seeping out of my a------ puddle of s--- on my bed rush to bathroom >sit on the toilet its like a volcano except for lava, its liquid s--- >could be w >liquid s--- replace by chuck s--- >stomach groans more the s--- gets harder and harder the stench was awful >my butt cheeks was slapping together so rapidly that my ass was bruised >stomach grumbles again >cant s--- in the toilet because there is not enough room s--- my f------ brains out hurts so bad i start to cry >crying while pushing out a colossal turd out of my a------ back is covered with poo falls on the floor ghost of Billy Mays's head peeps out of my a------ BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE s--- starts blasting out of a------ like two grizzley bears tearing my ass apart door is complete brown in s--- parents comes downstairs, hearing crying and moaning in the bathroom hear my dad say WHAT THE F--- IS THAT SMELL he notices s--- escaping from the bottom of the door ANON WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING IN THERE" he busts down the door >he gets completely spray paint with s--- >mom vomits Never eating cookie dough again | Anonymous (ID: P600g/8D) 04/07/13(Sun)17:55:53 No.47 10020 10 Replies >>471002253 >)471002790 471004048 >want to play a trick on f----- son >spunk and put laxatives in cookie dough -thatll show the little c--- later that night >hear girly screams and loud blasts of s--- coming from downstairs >gotcha run >see s--- coming from bottom of door >blast through >sprayed with liquid s--- >son begins to cry like a girl >gently easy my rock solid penis into his freshly lubricated a------ Anonymous (ID: YodhOzeh) 04/07/13(Sun)18:04:02 No.471003621 Replies: 471094291 2471004646 471005575 >be container of raw cookie dough pexpecting to get baked into delicious cookies snobody will eat me until then, hell, it say right on my cover "DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH >fat f----- opens the fridge -ohhellno.png wav >decide to make the fat s--- pay for robbing me of my baked deliciousness group all the chunks up just inside his a------ >start off slow, seep out just enough to wake the n----- up >GO TIME push with all my might >fat f----- manages to make it to the toilet before I start exploding out his anus >but I ain't letting up here >slap the f------ butt cheeks together so hard his ass gets bruised >keep fill up whole toilet, f----- moves over to bathtub crying spush a massive chunk out to cause him unimaginable pain >decide to add insult to injury >vibrate his ass cheeks at just the right frequency so it sounds like Billy Mays yelling "BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE >f------ dad opens the door augh maniacally as I shoot the rest of me out as fast as I can, coating his dad and the rest of the walls in S--- >thatll teach that fat n----- to eat raw f------ cookie dough HEAR THAT, YOU FAT F---? YOU DONT F--- WITH RAW COOKIE DOUGH □ Anonymous (ID: OobbGI10) 04/07/1 3(Sun) 1 8:22:04 No.471007201 Replies >>47 1007905ー47 1 008205 >feeling quite lonely, nobody used me in a while >just chilling in the dark sall of a sudden, this fat f----- bursts into the bathroom sohno >f----- releases a Kamehameha blast of s--- in me -entire mouth is full of s--- pg riend bathtub staring at me in horror >f----- goes in the bathtub, releasing a Shadow of the Colossus turd f----- dad breaks into door, killing Mr door e gets covered in sh >feelsbadman jpg Anonymous (ID: oobbGt10) 04/07/13(Sun)18:39:01 No.471010834 >chilling with fork wife, s--- was so cash sall of a sudden, this fat f----- f--- opens the drawer and stole me >scared as f--- >jams me in Ms. Cookie Dough she felt good to be inside of >feel ashamed because I am married >kid about to jam me in his mouth >pleaseno.jpg he does it she does this several times sreturn with my wife sleeping with wife hear the fat f----- crying and moaning in the bathroom >serves that f----- right Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 04/07/13 (Sun)18:30:05 No.471008873 >be billy may's ghost >his face tells me he thinks its nearly over
(1.52 MB, 2592x1944, IMG 20130407 165030 jpg) Anonymous (ID: 00bbGt10) 04/07/13(Sun)17:51:45 No.47 1001279 Replies: 471002008 >347 1004848 >>4710085 >see a bat of cookie dough in the fridge taste sample read on the cover saying "DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH' fuckthatshitjpg eat several spoonfuls of cookie dough s--- was so cash >middle of the night sleeping wake up due to a bad smell >my butt cheeks feel wet Popen covers there was liquid s--- seeping out of my a------ puddle of s--- on my bed rush to bathroom >sit on the toilet its like a volcano except for lava, its liquid s--- >could be w >liquid s--- replace by chuck s--- >stomach groans more the s--- gets harder and harder the stench was awful >my butt cheeks was slapping together so rapidly that my ass was bruised >stomach grumbles again >cant s--- in the toilet because there is not enough room s--- my f------ brains out hurts so bad i start to cry >crying while pushing out a colossal turd out of my a------ back is covered with poo falls on the floor ghost of Billy Mays's head peeps out of my a------ BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE s--- starts blasting out of a------ like two grizzley bears tearing my ass apart door is complete brown in s--- parents comes downstairs, hearing crying and moaning in the bathroom hear my dad say WHAT THE F--- IS THAT SMELL he notices s--- escaping from the bottom of the door ANON WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING IN THERE" he busts down the door >he gets completely spray paint with s--- >mom vomits Never eating cookie dough again | Anonymous (ID: P600g/8D) 04/07/13(Sun)17:55:53 No.47 10020 10 Replies >>471002253 >)471002790 471004048 >want to play a trick on f----- son >spunk and put laxatives in cookie dough -thatll show the little c--- later that night >hear girly screams and loud blasts of s--- coming from downstairs >gotcha run >see s--- coming from bottom of door >blast through >sprayed with liquid s--- >son begins to cry like a girl >gently easy my rock solid penis into his freshly lubricated a------ Anonymous (ID: YodhOzeh) 04/07/13(Sun)18:04:02 No.471003621 Replies: 471094291 2471004646 471005575 >be container of raw cookie dough pexpecting to get baked into delicious cookies snobody will eat me until then, hell, it say right on my cover "DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH >fat f----- opens the fridge -ohhellno.png wav >decide to make the fat s--- pay for robbing me of my baked deliciousness group all the chunks up just inside his a------ >start off slow, seep out just enough to wake the n----- up >GO TIME push with all my might >fat f----- manages to make it to the toilet before I start exploding out his anus >but I ain't letting up here >slap the f------ butt cheeks together so hard his ass gets bruised >keep fill up whole toilet, f----- moves over to bathtub crying spush a massive chunk out to cause him unimaginable pain >decide to add insult to injury >vibrate his ass cheeks at just the right frequency so it sounds like Billy Mays yelling "BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE >f------ dad opens the door augh maniacally as I shoot the rest of me out as fast as I can, coating his dad and the rest of the walls in S--- >thatll teach that fat n----- to eat raw f------ cookie dough HEAR THAT, YOU FAT F---? YOU DONT F--- WITH RAW COOKIE DOUGH □ Anonymous (ID: OobbGI10) 04/07/1 3(Sun) 1 8:22:04 No.471007201 Replies >>47 1007905ー47 1 008205 >feeling quite lonely, nobody used me in a while >just chilling in the dark sall of a sudden, this fat f----- bursts into the bathroom sohno >f----- releases a Kamehameha blast of s--- in me -entire mouth is full of s--- pg riend bathtub staring at me in horror >f----- goes in the bathtub, releasing a Shadow of the Colossus turd f----- dad breaks into door, killing Mr door e gets covered in sh >feelsbadman jpg Anonymous (ID: oobbGt10) 04/07/13(Sun)18:39:01 No.471010834 >chilling with fork wife, s--- was so cash sall of a sudden, this fat f----- f--- opens the drawer and stole me >scared as f--- >jams me in Ms. Cookie Dough she felt good to be inside of >feel ashamed because I am married >kid about to jam me in his mouth >pleaseno.jpg he does it she does this several times sreturn with my wife sleeping with wife hear the fat f----- crying and moaning in the bathroom >serves that f----- right Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 04/07/13 (Sun)18:30:05 No.471008873 >be billy may's ghost >his face tells me he thinks its nearly over

Greentext Stories
cookie dough

Cat defeats Burglar

File: Cat and dog ong (167 KB, 296x300) Anonymous (ID: w7ikIM6K) 08/06/14(Wed)13:25:02 No.560918306 >Be living with myself and my two pets, a cat and a dog >Dog barks at everything and cat never gives a f--- about anything or anyone Be asleep Hear my dog barking notagain.jpeg >He shuts up after 30 seconds >l try to fall asleep again >After two minutes my dog start barking again like crazy >I go down to tell him to shut up >When I get down there is a freaking burglar on the bookshelf >Ski mask and all >On the floor lies a gun >Beneath bookshelf is my dog barking and jumping up after him >On the couch sits my cat looking like he found my tuna stash call the police >They arrest the guy > I give my dog a sausage for being a good guard dog >A couple of days later a guy calls from the station >During the interrogation the burglar admitted that he broke into my house, kicked my cat and lured my dog into a closet >My dog jumped him two minutes later >The burglar didn't know my dog can open doors >He can't >My cat being f--- everyone else-king of the house can though >Taught himself so he can come and go as he please >My cat must had become p----- and released my dog so he could attack the burglar >MFW my cat is a d--- >MFW I added animal cruelty to the charges
File: Cat and dog ong (167 KB, 296x300) Anonymous (ID: w7ikIM6K) 08/06/14(Wed)13:25:02 No.560918306 >Be living with myself and my two pets, a cat and a dog >Dog barks at everything and cat never gives a f--- about anything or anyone Be asleep Hear my dog barking notagain.jpeg >He shuts up after 30 seconds >l try to fall asleep again >After two minutes my dog start barking again like crazy >I go down to tell him to shut up >When I get down there is a freaking burglar on the bookshelf >Ski mask and all >On the floor lies a gun >Beneath bookshelf is my dog barking and jumping up after him >On the couch sits my cat looking like he found my tuna stash call the police >They arrest the guy > I give my dog a sausage for being a good guard dog >A couple of days later a guy calls from the station >During the interrogation the burglar admitted that he broke into my house, kicked my cat and lured my dog into a closet >My dog jumped him two minutes later >The burglar didn't know my dog can open doors >He can't >My cat being f--- everyone else-king of the house can though >Taught himself so he can come and go as he please >My cat must had become p----- and released my dog so he could attack the burglar >MFW my cat is a d--- >MFW I added animal cruelty to the charges

Greentext Stories
cat dog burglar robbery

Good Student

File (hide): 1449001595616 aif (1.41 MB. 280x210, 43. EaanRvea Talking to women Anonymous (You) 1201/15 (Tue) 21:26:23 No.4861640 IWatch Thread Greentext because I am newfriend Sitting in hall waiting for class to start on my phone browsing /b/ traps thread Teacher exits cabinet on the other side of the hallway Asks Why is everyone on their phone, back in my day we used to talk, what apps are you using she didnt say apps but something old people say like "Websites am quieto autismo Someone next to me goes all proud "9gag I use all my intemal energy not to go full on autismos maximos on his retarded face for using 9gag Teacher comes closer, I lock my phone Asks me What are you using look down, realise behind that lock screen is a boypussy getting pounded say-Facebook" She goes Oh, what are you doing on facebook, don't you want to actually talk to people?" I stop my internal autist from yelling at her for being a dumb bitch and say like a civilized person I'm just looking at funny images, not even people" Teacher says it's weird how our generation is using all this time on their phones instead of outside 뇌 ust say it's a different solution to the same problem, our generation just has a wider reach for entertainment because we are so close connected to the world. I mean you would absolutely rather be watching unn images online at my age if you were sitting where I am, bored just waiting for my next class to start tart spilling spaghetti because I feel like just went full on autist, start sweating She says walks away l am proud of myself Fair point, go ahead did it ol talked to a female l look down, unlock my phone A dude f------ another dude up the ass while their ballisacks clap in union appear on my screen This is my life
File (hide): 1449001595616 aif (1.41 MB. 280x210, 43. EaanRvea Talking to women Anonymous (You) 1201/15 (Tue) 21:26:23 No.4861640 IWatch Thread Greentext because I am newfriend Sitting in hall waiting for class to start on my phone browsing /b/ traps thread Teacher exits cabinet on the other side of the hallway Asks Why is everyone on their phone, back in my day we used to talk, what apps are you using she didnt say apps but something old people say like "Websites am quieto autismo Someone next to me goes all proud "9gag I use all my intemal energy not to go full on autismos maximos on his retarded face for using 9gag Teacher comes closer, I lock my phone Asks me What are you using look down, realise behind that lock screen is a boypussy getting pounded say-Facebook" She goes Oh, what are you doing on facebook, don't you want to actually talk to people?" I stop my internal autist from yelling at her for being a dumb bitch and say like a civilized person I'm just looking at funny images, not even people" Teacher says it's weird how our generation is using all this time on their phones instead of outside 뇌 ust say it's a different solution to the same problem, our generation just has a wider reach for entertainment because we are so close connected to the world. I mean you would absolutely rather be watching unn images online at my age if you were sitting where I am, bored just waiting for my next class to start tart spilling spaghetti because I feel like just went full on autist, start sweating She says walks away l am proud of myself Fair point, go ahead did it ol talked to a female l look down, unlock my phone A dude f------ another dude up the ass while their ballisacks clap in union appear on my screen This is my life

Greentext Stories
/b college class

Bane Wedding

Anonymous No.614737395 11 minutes ago >be shopping for smart shirt >being forced to go to a wedding, so i have to wear something i guess it is my parents wedding so i better go >see these women talking about buying a shirt for her boyfriend >she says to her friend 'dyou think this'lIl fit him?" her friend replies he's a big guy >i instantly blurt out 'FOR YOU i think my voice broke half way through they look at me as if i'm retarded and seem frightened look them in the eyes, wink a little, but think i did it with both eyes >scurry away and knock over a mannequin spilling suits everywhere so tell me, how has 4chin ruined your life
Anonymous No.614737395 11 minutes ago >be shopping for smart shirt >being forced to go to a wedding, so i have to wear something i guess it is my parents wedding so i better go >see these women talking about buying a shirt for her boyfriend >she says to her friend 'dyou think this'lIl fit him?" her friend replies he's a big guy >i instantly blurt out 'FOR YOU i think my voice broke half way through they look at me as if i'm retarded and seem frightened look them in the eyes, wink a little, but think i did it with both eyes >scurry away and knock over a mannequin spilling suits everywhere so tell me, how has 4chin ruined your life

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Banana Peel

File: 1370710900581.ipg-(82 KB, 600x874, a.aaa-Banana-Shark.jpg) Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat)13:01:40 No.485723075 Super beta stories. 'll go first >Be me, about 16 >Beta to the max >Have a hard time dealing with the ladies >Mostly spend my down time browsing p--- and fapping vs. a social life >Discover strange, yet pleasing ways to get my rocks off >Favorite way to fap is with banana peels >Will eat a banana, but peel it carefully so l can stick my d--- in it. >Masturbate vigorously into banana >feelsgoodman.jpg >Sometimes I'll use the same peel two or three times before throwing it away >Im a sick bastard, I know peel Fast forward a few weeks >Been fapping in banana peels a lot >Getting dat potassium like a mad f----- >Develop a dependency on fapping in banana peels >Masturbating with my fingerless gloves doesnt cut it anymore >Peel catches my load so it doesn't squirt all over my fedora. >Start calling my d--- "The Banana Shark" >Typically pretty quiet kid in my classes >Smart as s--- when it comes to Chemistry >Can name all the elements on the Periodic Table >F--- yeah. >Nice looking 8/10 knows I do well in Chemistry while she sucks d--- at it. >Pretty nice girl, not all prissy and stuck up like the other sluts >Actually talks to me >Asks if we can be lab partners >F------ all the yes >Begins to get friendlier with me >Flirting level 3 engaged >Decide to actually be alpha for once >After a few days of great chemistry in Chemistry, ask her to go to a movie with me >She says yes >> □ Anonymous (ID: MYJOYP94) 06/08/13(Sat)13:02:20 No.485723180 CONT... >Go to see Lucky Number Slevin. >She's into mob movies and wants to see it. >Theater is practically empty >We sit in the back row >Halfway through the >Not paying attention anymore >Her tongue is in my mouth. >Her hand is on The Banana Shark The spaghetti is out of my pockets on the floor >She asks if I have ever gotten head before >Allmynope >Unzips my pants to find a fully erect Banana Shark >Starts to suck my d--- >Two minutes irn "Anon, your d--- tastes weird." >Oh God, she can taste The Banana Shark s"It tastes like bananas. Do you stick your d >Beta me returns >"S-s-sometimes..." >Awkward as f--- >"OH GOD ANON, I'M ALLERGIC TO BANANAS" >Begins puking on my d--- OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK > She begins to have a seizure >Immediately call 911 movie, I notice she keeps looking at me d--- in bananas Anon?" MFW I cannot go back to that theater MFW I put a girl in the hospital with The Banana Shark MFW I havent had a b------ OR a date since Thanks a lot Banana Shark
File: 1370710900581.ipg-(82 KB, 600x874, a.aaa-Banana-Shark.jpg) Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat)13:01:40 No.485723075 Super beta stories. 'll go first >Be me, about 16 >Beta to the max >Have a hard time dealing with the ladies >Mostly spend my down time browsing p--- and fapping vs. a social life >Discover strange, yet pleasing ways to get my rocks off >Favorite way to fap is with banana peels >Will eat a banana, but peel it carefully so l can stick my d--- in it. >Masturbate vigorously into banana >feelsgoodman.jpg >Sometimes I'll use the same peel two or three times before throwing it away >Im a sick bastard, I know peel Fast forward a few weeks >Been fapping in banana peels a lot >Getting dat potassium like a mad f----- >Develop a dependency on fapping in banana peels >Masturbating with my fingerless gloves doesnt cut it anymore >Peel catches my load so it doesn't squirt all over my fedora. >Start calling my d--- "The Banana Shark" >Typically pretty quiet kid in my classes >Smart as s--- when it comes to Chemistry >Can name all the elements on the Periodic Table >F--- yeah. >Nice looking 8/10 knows I do well in Chemistry while she sucks d--- at it. >Pretty nice girl, not all prissy and stuck up like the other sluts >Actually talks to me >Asks if we can be lab partners >F------ all the yes >Begins to get friendlier with me >Flirting level 3 engaged >Decide to actually be alpha for once >After a few days of great chemistry in Chemistry, ask her to go to a movie with me >She says yes >> □ Anonymous (ID: MYJOYP94) 06/08/13(Sat)13:02:20 No.485723180 CONT... >Go to see Lucky Number Slevin. >She's into mob movies and wants to see it. >Theater is practically empty >We sit in the back row >Halfway through the >Not paying attention anymore >Her tongue is in my mouth. >Her hand is on The Banana Shark The spaghetti is out of my pockets on the floor >She asks if I have ever gotten head before >Allmynope >Unzips my pants to find a fully erect Banana Shark >Starts to suck my d--- >Two minutes irn "Anon, your d--- tastes weird." >Oh God, she can taste The Banana Shark s"It tastes like bananas. Do you stick your d >Beta me returns >"S-s-sometimes..." >Awkward as f--- >"OH GOD ANON, I'M ALLERGIC TO BANANAS" >Begins puking on my d--- OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK > She begins to have a seizure >Immediately call 911 movie, I notice she keeps looking at me d--- in bananas Anon?" MFW I cannot go back to that theater MFW I put a girl in the hospital with The Banana Shark MFW I havent had a b------ OR a date since Thanks a lot Banana Shark

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Google Translate Pls

571642460 erect my penis gold (50 KB, 500x644) ■ AnonymousOD @isi) 10 01/14(Wed)17:00:38 No 571640928 >>571641037225716412202-5716412902-57164 1308-5716413612571641552 be finnish >45 year old movement teacher student are 12-13 they had tight cloth on today was after class the girl go into a shower >can see more nudism body her breast grow to the f--- little hair look has the trim erect my penis >"do you have ok she look out to me in wet shoulder hair >cover breast growth but can both nipple Anonymous (ID: Gszaan) 10/01/14(Wed)17:05:12 No.57164 1342 File (24 KB, 314x246) rip english 。Anonymous (ID AMARO) 10/01/14(Wed)17:14:08 №571642173x File: 1406257051691.png (56 KB, 429x287) 22571640928ー laughing for days and i dont know why turn to go into a shower 571640928 (0P Anonymous(D: EN) 10/014Wed 17:17. 15 No >"dont look the shower >"but your body can't say yes she run out to nudism hear she tell to the head master he invited me to the office of his > stop never again or you get a shoe T hat some amazing grammar skills OP 571640928 (0P 571640928 (0P 10/10、/b/ isn't dead I don't want a shoe for my money but what can stop the girl look time? I can see every day the girl when she into a shower and all had a body of good look to make resistence hard for penis every day I have tempetation resist, I can the future too but the head master can give me a shoe ifI look more to the girl shower pic unrelated but the girl body look like many time 571640928 (0P her breast grow to the f--- >57164 can see more nudism body her breast grow to the f--- erect my penis >"stop never again or you get a shoe Anonymous (ID: APURRzH9)10/01/14(Wed)17:06:50 No.571641496 How many times did you throw this into Google Translate? Lost it erect my penis My sides are in a different dimension 92571641972 can' stoplaughing at how him geting the boot tanslated to get a shoe >571640928 (OP My sides have ascended to another plane
571642460 erect my penis gold (50 KB, 500x644) ■ AnonymousOD @isi) 10 01/14(Wed)17:00:38 No 571640928 >>571641037225716412202-5716412902-57164 1308-5716413612571641552 be finnish >45 year old movement teacher student are 12-13 they had tight cloth on today was after class the girl go into a shower >can see more nudism body her breast grow to the f--- little hair look has the trim erect my penis >"do you have ok she look out to me in wet shoulder hair >cover breast growth but can both nipple Anonymous (ID: Gszaan) 10/01/14(Wed)17:05:12 No.57164 1342 File (24 KB, 314x246) rip english 。Anonymous (ID AMARO) 10/01/14(Wed)17:14:08 №571642173x File: 1406257051691.png (56 KB, 429x287) 22571640928ー laughing for days and i dont know why turn to go into a shower 571640928 (0P Anonymous(D: EN) 10/014Wed 17:17. 15 No >"dont look the shower >"but your body can't say yes she run out to nudism hear she tell to the head master he invited me to the office of his > stop never again or you get a shoe T hat some amazing grammar skills OP 571640928 (0P 571640928 (0P 10/10、/b/ isn't dead I don't want a shoe for my money but what can stop the girl look time? I can see every day the girl when she into a shower and all had a body of good look to make resistence hard for penis every day I have tempetation resist, I can the future too but the head master can give me a shoe ifI look more to the girl shower pic unrelated but the girl body look like many time 571640928 (0P her breast grow to the f--- >57164 can see more nudism body her breast grow to the f--- erect my penis >"stop never again or you get a shoe Anonymous (ID: APURRzH9)10/01/14(Wed)17:06:50 No.571641496 How many times did you throw this into Google Translate? Lost it erect my penis My sides are in a different dimension 92571641972 can' stoplaughing at how him geting the boot tanslated to get a shoe >571640928 (OP My sides have ascended to another plane

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Aya Stahk

Anonymous (D: Co79Y105/23/17(Tue)14:50:40 No.12672969712673015722126730161 22126733733 321267349572212673603 221267361602126736630 2126737315 22126737437 22126737503 File: brits.jpg (1.18 MB, 1399x1848) be on vacation in bongland >see Arya Stark gliding down the sidewalk >like a graceful penguin with gout follow her for a block gently touch her shoulder H-hello, I'm Anon. Y-you're the prettiest girl I've seen all day! W-would you join me for dinner? >she spins around nearly smashing me in the balls with an Abercrombie bag >stares intently for a few moments then breaks into a grin that looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SOME FREE GRUB ANNA LITTLE OF THE OL IN OUT! quickly grab her hand and go into the first restaurant I see that has tablecloths FAKKIN ELL! POSH ERE INNIT? GLAD I PUT SUM KNICKERS ON! >she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a horse with it's leg caught in a wood chipper head waiter gives me the stinkeye but leads us to a table >Arya cocks her head and squints at the menu ERE NOW, WATS THIS S----? IT'S ORL IN FAKKIN FRENCH! OI CARNT READ THIS, I'LL END UP GETTIN A PLATE OF FAKKIN SNAILS WUNNOI?!? look at the menu. It's in English, just a fancy script she shoves her menu at the waiter I WONT PIE AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OF LIKKER ON THA MASH, GUV! I'm sorry, madam, we don- 1 SED FAKKIN PIE AND MASH M8! AND A PINTA LARGER FOR ME EDACHE! >he slinks away without even taking my order >Arya pulls a pack of Mayfairs from her cleavage and sparks up, ashing in the bread basket >starts rubbing at her crotch >brings her fingers up and licks them then cackles JOLLY FAKKIN ELL, IT'S ME TIME! OI LUV GITTIN SHAGGED ONNA RAG! GUNNA AVE US A RED WEDDIN INNA LOO, AIN'T WE? >look over my shoulder and franticly signal the waiter for the check >Arya is slumped over the table r---- to death by Pakis
Anonymous (D: Co79Y105/23/17(Tue)14:50:40 No.12672969712673015722126730161 22126733733 321267349572212673603 221267361602126736630 2126737315 22126737437 22126737503 File: brits.jpg (1.18 MB, 1399x1848) be on vacation in bongland >see Arya Stark gliding down the sidewalk >like a graceful penguin with gout follow her for a block gently touch her shoulder H-hello, I'm Anon. Y-you're the prettiest girl I've seen all day! W-would you join me for dinner? >she spins around nearly smashing me in the balls with an Abercrombie bag >stares intently for a few moments then breaks into a grin that looks like she could eat an apple through a chain link fence YEH ORLRITE! FAK IT, WHY NOT? I CUD DO WIV SOME FREE GRUB ANNA LITTLE OF THE OL IN OUT! quickly grab her hand and go into the first restaurant I see that has tablecloths FAKKIN ELL! POSH ERE INNIT? GLAD I PUT SUM KNICKERS ON! >she lets out a little giggle that sounds like a horse with it's leg caught in a wood chipper head waiter gives me the stinkeye but leads us to a table >Arya cocks her head and squints at the menu ERE NOW, WATS THIS S----? IT'S ORL IN FAKKIN FRENCH! OI CARNT READ THIS, I'LL END UP GETTIN A PLATE OF FAKKIN SNAILS WUNNOI?!? look at the menu. It's in English, just a fancy script she shoves her menu at the waiter I WONT PIE AND MASH DUNNOI. PLENTY OF LIKKER ON THA MASH, GUV! I'm sorry, madam, we don- 1 SED FAKKIN PIE AND MASH M8! AND A PINTA LARGER FOR ME EDACHE! >he slinks away without even taking my order >Arya pulls a pack of Mayfairs from her cleavage and sparks up, ashing in the bread basket >starts rubbing at her crotch >brings her fingers up and licks them then cackles JOLLY FAKKIN ELL, IT'S ME TIME! OI LUV GITTIN SHAGGED ONNA RAG! GUNNA AVE US A RED WEDDIN INNA LOO, AIN'T WE? >look over my shoulder and franticly signal the waiter for the check >Arya is slumped over the table r---- to death by Pakis

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>live in Brazil

Anonymous (ID: +kjCKehh) 10/01/15(Thu)14:33:21 No.52856597 >Live in Brazil >there are no schools >there are no movie theaters >there are no malls >still get shot 39 KB JPG >>52856936 # >>52857008# >>52857059 # >>52857158 #
Anonymous (ID: +kjCKehh) 10/01/15(Thu)14:33:21 No.52856597 >Live in Brazil >there are no schools >there are no movie theaters >there are no malls >still get shot 39 KB JPG >>52856936 # >>52857008# >>52857059 # >>52857158 #

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Primitive greentext

> 4000 BO > NOT DOING STARTING STICKS >BERRYPICKER AS F--- > ME FACIE TELL BONE SHAMAN I HAVE A CEREMONIAL BONE FOR HER TO CEREMONY >LAUGHING SHAMAN ROCKPEG >BERRIES BURST OUT OF LOINCLOTH
> 4000 BO > NOT DOING STARTING STICKS >BERRYPICKER AS F--- > ME FACIE TELL BONE SHAMAN I HAVE A CEREMONIAL BONE FOR HER TO CEREMONY >LAUGHING SHAMAN ROCKPEG >BERRIES BURST OUT OF LOINCLOTH

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Dwarven Bard - Battle of Gods

5e campaign >All the homebrew >Party consists of Human barbarian and Dragonborn druid >And me, Dwarf bard >Picked bard for persuasion, never utilized any bardic abilities >Basically a fighter with mad Charisma Enter small town >Some dude covered in webs recruits us to kill some spiders Decide to abide by DM's plot device, follows web-covered forest road Eventually reach clearing after a couple of minor fights >Huge-class spider gets the jump on us DM is a sadistic guy, this was our first boss battle >We're level 3 I charge it >whatcouldgowrong.wav >Nat 20 with regular battleaxe to the skull, max rolls >Instakill DM angry that the first boss died so easily to the bard >Travel for a few weeks End up in major city >I ask where I can go to duel some people One of bard's personality traits is overconfidence, so I accept any challenge DM decides to get revenge Invited into some underground dueling club >Basically DM wanted me to die here so I could create a fighter instead of bard >BS my way through a few enemies >"Alright, everybody welcome the champion, Dream and Crusher!" >Notice two names >Ohshit.mp4 >Ettin walk in Axe bigger than entire body >Idea time +8 persuasion because bard >Persuade the Ettin to share a drink with me >Pour Flask of Holding into barrel (Bard is also alcoholic) >Ettin starts drinking literal barrels of mixed brew >Drink potion of firebreathing >Asks Ettin, "Wanna see a magic trick?" >Breath fire into his mouth >Ettin explodes >Take one of the Ettin's heads Turn it in to city guard >Sell out fighting ring, collect sweet reward >DisregardDMsAcquireCurrency.flv >Continue on journey for awhile, nothing special >Do my best to piss off DM through Macgyver-esque nonsense >Return to same town >Party is kidnapped >Wake up in underground arena >Fighting group wants revenge for selling them out AKA DM wants revenge for BSing my way through his campaign >Ideservethis.png >DM pits us against animated suits of armor >Weapons hardly damaging them >Everyone is slowly dying >Almost TPK >Realization >Drink all alcohol I possess, along with all my potions of firebreathing >Cover myself in remaining flammable liquid >Drink potion of giant strength DM tells me if I don't stop drinking everything, I might explode >Littledidheknow.potato >Throw all animated suits into corner >I yell "Do you wanna see a magic trick?" >I tackle them while holding my breath and activating Spew Flames >Insert edgy terrorist joke here >I die, suits of armor die Roll new character, campaign continues as normal, incorporating people from the fighting ring here and there >Super fun, continues for a couple more sessions >Turns out the arena was entirely improvised by the DM >MFW the DM created an entire subplot in his intricate worldbuilding to kill an alcoholic smartass dwarvish bard Feelsgoodman
5e campaign >All the homebrew >Party consists of Human barbarian and Dragonborn druid >And me, Dwarf bard >Picked bard for persuasion, never utilized any bardic abilities >Basically a fighter with mad Charisma Enter small town >Some dude covered in webs recruits us to kill some spiders Decide to abide by DM's plot device, follows web-covered forest road Eventually reach clearing after a couple of minor fights >Huge-class spider gets the jump on us DM is a sadistic guy, this was our first boss battle >We're level 3 I charge it >whatcouldgowrong.wav >Nat 20 with regular battleaxe to the skull, max rolls >Instakill DM angry that the first boss died so easily to the bard >Travel for a few weeks End up in major city >I ask where I can go to duel some people One of bard's personality traits is overconfidence, so I accept any challenge DM decides to get revenge Invited into some underground dueling club >Basically DM wanted me to die here so I could create a fighter instead of bard >BS my way through a few enemies >"Alright, everybody welcome the champion, Dream and Crusher!" >Notice two names >Ohshit.mp4 >Ettin walk in Axe bigger than entire body >Idea time +8 persuasion because bard >Persuade the Ettin to share a drink with me >Pour Flask of Holding into barrel (Bard is also alcoholic) >Ettin starts drinking literal barrels of mixed brew >Drink potion of firebreathing >Asks Ettin, "Wanna see a magic trick?" >Breath fire into his mouth >Ettin explodes >Take one of the Ettin's heads Turn it in to city guard >Sell out fighting ring, collect sweet reward >DisregardDMsAcquireCurrency.flv >Continue on journey for awhile, nothing special >Do my best to piss off DM through Macgyver-esque nonsense >Return to same town >Party is kidnapped >Wake up in underground arena >Fighting group wants revenge for selling them out AKA DM wants revenge for BSing my way through his campaign >Ideservethis.png >DM pits us against animated suits of armor >Weapons hardly damaging them >Everyone is slowly dying >Almost TPK >Realization >Drink all alcohol I possess, along with all my potions of firebreathing >Cover myself in remaining flammable liquid >Drink potion of giant strength DM tells me if I don't stop drinking everything, I might explode >Littledidheknow.potato >Throw all animated suits into corner >I yell "Do you wanna see a magic trick?" >I tackle them while holding my breath and activating Spew Flames >Insert edgy terrorist joke here >I die, suits of armor die Roll new character, campaign continues as normal, incorporating people from the fighting ring here and there >Super fun, continues for a couple more sessions >Turns out the arena was entirely improvised by the DM >MFW the DM created an entire subplot in his intricate worldbuilding to kill an alcoholic smartass dwarvish bard Feelsgoodman

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New years tendies

New year, new me Anonymous 12/31/17(Sun)14:57:31 No.42171084 >watching adult swim in my play room >mommy comes in with a grin >"hey anon, have you heard about this fun new challenge? >fun? i like fun >"its called new year, new me, its when you change for good >it is a challenge? never lose a challenge only normies lose a smug grin grows on my face I will show them, i can change New vear, new me >next day >mum: "anon! wake up! it is time for your "tendies >"mother, i do not want "tendies" I want chicken tenders "anon! whats with the new act?" >new vear, new me >she smiles and gets me tendies and apple juice in a fancy cup >weirdest cup ive seen >i think thats mommy's wine cup >"you know anon, we should celebrate this new year! I'll call chad" >RE- "splendid" i say >Chad comes over "so.. me and chad have a surprise.." surprises? i like surprises >"We are getting married!" >Say "fantastic >chad gets a strange look on his face >Chad:"whats with anon's act? >mommy just laughs and says "new year, new him >chad bursts out laughing and clapping >"T knew he had to grow up at some point, like the time he called tenders "tendies" >THIS NORM >"well, that sure was immature of me "AND THAT TIME WHEN HE WORE ADULT DIAPERS" > "chadford thats enoug "AND REMEMBER WHEN HE USED GOOD BOY POINT- >Take off all my clothes except my diaper that is now full >IM PICKLE REEEEEEEEEEE >Punch chad >"ANON, CALM DOWN SHE >JUST TOLD >ME >TO >CALM DOWN >Punch mommy with a force of 100 elephants >mommy flies and makes a big hole in the wall >mommy will have to fix that up >Chad is escaping >grab table cloth >TEBURUKUROSU LASSOORRUUUUU Reel chad in >"CHADDY YOU HAVE BEEN BADDY YOU CANNOT BE NEW DADDY >Stuff fire crackers in chad's mouth finish it off with my full diaper throw him out the window >chad's head explodes later >mommy wakes up in the hospital "a-anon?" >smile ean in closer >whisper "its time for tendies
New year, new me Anonymous 12/31/17(Sun)14:57:31 No.42171084 >watching adult swim in my play room >mommy comes in with a grin >"hey anon, have you heard about this fun new challenge? >fun? i like fun >"its called new year, new me, its when you change for good >it is a challenge? never lose a challenge only normies lose a smug grin grows on my face I will show them, i can change New vear, new me >next day >mum: "anon! wake up! it is time for your "tendies >"mother, i do not want "tendies" I want chicken tenders "anon! whats with the new act?" >new vear, new me >she smiles and gets me tendies and apple juice in a fancy cup >weirdest cup ive seen >i think thats mommy's wine cup >"you know anon, we should celebrate this new year! I'll call chad" >RE- "splendid" i say >Chad comes over "so.. me and chad have a surprise.." surprises? i like surprises >"We are getting married!" >Say "fantastic >chad gets a strange look on his face >Chad:"whats with anon's act? >mommy just laughs and says "new year, new him >chad bursts out laughing and clapping >"T knew he had to grow up at some point, like the time he called tenders "tendies" >THIS NORM >"well, that sure was immature of me "AND THAT TIME WHEN HE WORE ADULT DIAPERS" > "chadford thats enoug "AND REMEMBER WHEN HE USED GOOD BOY POINT- >Take off all my clothes except my diaper that is now full >IM PICKLE REEEEEEEEEEE >Punch chad >"ANON, CALM DOWN SHE >JUST TOLD >ME >TO >CALM DOWN >Punch mommy with a force of 100 elephants >mommy flies and makes a big hole in the wall >mommy will have to fix that up >Chad is escaping >grab table cloth >TEBURUKUROSU LASSOORRUUUUU Reel chad in >"CHADDY YOU HAVE BEEN BADDY YOU CANNOT BE NEW DADDY >Stuff fire crackers in chad's mouth finish it off with my full diaper throw him out the window >chad's head explodes later >mommy wakes up in the hospital "a-anon?" >smile ean in closer >whisper "its time for tendies

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Way of the Thrown Orc Shlong

>Be me >Playing second ever campaign with 3 other people (Dm 1 edgy elf rogue 1 dwarf druid) >I'm playing as a monk >Weaboo af >Some noble tells us to help a village in the mountains >Party goes "sure, why not" as we don't wanna f--- up DM's quest line >We arrive to the village and it's almost empty except for two orcs and a few scared (human) villagers Turns out a nearby orc tribe has kidnapped all the women and killed all the men >eeh...ok.gif >We arrive at orc camp, kill all the orcs Out steps the orc war boss, and at this point we're all at low HP >guesswe'lldie.jpeg War boss goes straight for edgy rogue (who is squishy af) >Is too far away for melee so decide to act quickly >Cut off the d--- of one of his fallen orc comrades and throws it at him DM says he'll allow it but it doesn't count as a ranged weapon (but i think "hey, at least it might aggro him on me instead of squishy rogue") >Whole party in suspense as i roll dice >NAT F------ 20 >Monk character reaches maximum enlightenment, discovers new monastic tradition: way of the thrown penis >The orc d--- lands directly in his mouth One last orc who was apparently on patrol walks in and sees his boss with a cut off d--- in his mouth >He is so ashamed of his boss, he helps us take him down >Slightly homophobic orc becomes new team-member (played by DM) >After this glorious victory we rescue the women Apparently the orcs were using them as breeding animals to get half-orc warriors to fight off a goblin invasion or some s--- >We were supposed to be shocked, but we were still laughing from my epic d----throw >That moment when DM tries his best to create a serious dark campaign and it's all ruined by an orc d--- and a weaboo monk
>Be me >Playing second ever campaign with 3 other people (Dm 1 edgy elf rogue 1 dwarf druid) >I'm playing as a monk >Weaboo af >Some noble tells us to help a village in the mountains >Party goes "sure, why not" as we don't wanna f--- up DM's quest line >We arrive to the village and it's almost empty except for two orcs and a few scared (human) villagers Turns out a nearby orc tribe has kidnapped all the women and killed all the men >eeh...ok.gif >We arrive at orc camp, kill all the orcs Out steps the orc war boss, and at this point we're all at low HP >guesswe'lldie.jpeg War boss goes straight for edgy rogue (who is squishy af) >Is too far away for melee so decide to act quickly >Cut off the d--- of one of his fallen orc comrades and throws it at him DM says he'll allow it but it doesn't count as a ranged weapon (but i think "hey, at least it might aggro him on me instead of squishy rogue") >Whole party in suspense as i roll dice >NAT F------ 20 >Monk character reaches maximum enlightenment, discovers new monastic tradition: way of the thrown penis >The orc d--- lands directly in his mouth One last orc who was apparently on patrol walks in and sees his boss with a cut off d--- in his mouth >He is so ashamed of his boss, he helps us take him down >Slightly homophobic orc becomes new team-member (played by DM) >After this glorious victory we rescue the women Apparently the orcs were using them as breeding animals to get half-orc warriors to fight off a goblin invasion or some s--- >We were supposed to be shocked, but we were still laughing from my epic d----throw >That moment when DM tries his best to create a serious dark campaign and it's all ruined by an orc d--- and a weaboo monk

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Local Japanese Man Takes The Train

Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:50:52 No. 175139328 ->>175139418 >>175139475 175138640 be a grumpy depressed japanese salaryman going to work Poh boy, here's the train, the start of your daily hell, the izuhakone... happy party train? the cars are covered in anime idols staring at you smiling, arms stretched out begging for a hug disgusting get inside, hoping to be free of that shameful trash the inside is also lined with anime the seats are covered in anime there's anime hanging from the ceiling half the passengers are wearing robes adorned with the likenesses of anime characters >kuso actually manage to grab a seat, just because one of the otaku thought you were scary looking Phear 'hagul as soon as you sit down a pair of robotic arms fly out from the seat and gently rest on your torso lifelike texture otaku and a few rail staff turn towards you and start clapping Sooooh, one millionth passenger!" "kanan gave him a hug! lucky bastard" "i want a hug from kanan" stand up in disgust f------ suwa nanaka makes her way through the crowd and gives you the biggest hug her underdeveloped eternal loli body can muster and tells you to have a nice day you do not have a nice day your country, your beautiful country, is gone you work to support your family so they can live in this place? take a smoke break at work and jump off the roof
Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:50:52 No. 175139328 ->>175139418 >>175139475 175138640 be a grumpy depressed japanese salaryman going to work Poh boy, here's the train, the start of your daily hell, the izuhakone... happy party train? the cars are covered in anime idols staring at you smiling, arms stretched out begging for a hug disgusting get inside, hoping to be free of that shameful trash the inside is also lined with anime the seats are covered in anime there's anime hanging from the ceiling half the passengers are wearing robes adorned with the likenesses of anime characters >kuso actually manage to grab a seat, just because one of the otaku thought you were scary looking Phear 'hagul as soon as you sit down a pair of robotic arms fly out from the seat and gently rest on your torso lifelike texture otaku and a few rail staff turn towards you and start clapping Sooooh, one millionth passenger!" "kanan gave him a hug! lucky bastard" "i want a hug from kanan" stand up in disgust f------ suwa nanaka makes her way through the crowd and gives you the biggest hug her underdeveloped eternal loli body can muster and tells you to have a nice day you do not have a nice day your country, your beautiful country, is gone you work to support your family so they can live in this place? take a smoke break at work and jump off the roof

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Welp. You gotta figure out that one for yourself anon

Anonymous 12/24/17(Sun)19:15:01 No.754797723 no social media only go on reddit and 4chan >I hate reddit >4chan hates me どehh . 18 KB PNG
Anonymous 12/24/17(Sun)19:15:01 No.754797723 no social media only go on reddit and 4chan >I hate reddit >4chan hates me どehh . 18 KB PNG

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social media reddit 4chan pepe no credit to anon

anon finds happiness

296970883 childhood best >Have lifelong childhood best friend who is a girl >We swear 1 00% never to be boyfriend and girlfriend >Come 18 we're f------ like rabbits >Married her at 25 >>96983342 # Anonymous 11/22/17(Wed)15:10:37 No.9698334 >>96978978 # How does happiness feel anon? Care to share it with us?
296970883 childhood best >Have lifelong childhood best friend who is a girl >We swear 1 00% never to be boyfriend and girlfriend >Come 18 we're f------ like rabbits >Married her at 25 >>96983342 # Anonymous 11/22/17(Wed)15:10:37 No.9698334 >>96978978 # How does happiness feel anon? Care to share it with us?

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