Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)21:33 UTC-3 No.21 702203 Replies: >>2 17022842-21702366 File: 1394670796619.jpg-(28 KB, 445x302, 1371243729006.jpg) 1. flageroonie 2. Cringe just thinking about it >be me in middle school at week-long summer camp with friends and one hyper douche who my friends like ask a grill to the end-of-the-week dance but with much spaghetti >she actually says yes >the next day hyper-douche "rhino rapes" me (knees me in the ass full force) >my tail bone instantly out of commission I can't bend my back or sit without excruciating pain >I pass out and counselors haul me to the med station >med guys are just a couple of jackasses who don't know s--- "what do you want us to look at your ass or something?" they give me blood-stained pillows to sit on for the rest of the week the blood is dried so it looks brown >I become known as the kid with the s----stained butt pillows >hyper-douche convinces all of my friends I'm faking it for attention while the pain worsens >limp around with butt pillows all week, grills all give me weird faces and whisper around me >hyper-douche tells all of them I'm faking it >become famous among camp grills as the pasty baby s----stained butt pillow kid >fast forward to dance on the last night actually recovered enough to dance, but really awkwardly >grill I asked is nowhere to be found (she was there but avoiding me) try to join two grills and they give me disgusted faces and move end up surrounded by friends and hyper douche >they're juggling me around by pushing me back and forth while I'm trying not to fall over from tail bone pain, all while I'm yelling at them to stop >punch hyper douche in the face and get one moment of ultimate satisfaction as he falls to the floor >he chimps out f------ hardcore by getting me in a headlock and screaming in my ear for a good minute before a counselor pulls him off some 100 kids are staring at us forced to sit on my butt pillows in plain view of everyone for the rest of the night see grill asked dancing with some decent looking guy And that, my friends, was the worst week of my existence x---DdDD
Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)21:33 UTC-3 No.21 702203 Replies: >>2 17022842-21702366 File: 1394670796619.jpg-(28 KB, 445x302, 1371243729006.jpg) 1. flageroonie 2. Cringe just thinking about it >be me in middle school at week-long summer camp with friends and one hyper douche who my friends like ask a grill to the end-of-the-week dance but with much spaghetti >she actually says yes >the next day hyper-douche "rhino rapes" me (knees me in the ass full force) >my tail bone instantly out of commission I can't bend my back or sit without excruciating pain >I pass out and counselors haul me to the med station >med guys are just a couple of jackasses who don't know s--- "what do you want us to look at your ass or something?" they give me blood-stained pillows to sit on for the rest of the week the blood is dried so it looks brown >I become known as the kid with the s----stained butt pillows >hyper-douche convinces all of my friends I'm faking it for attention while the pain worsens >limp around with butt pillows all week, grills all give me weird faces and whisper around me >hyper-douche tells all of them I'm faking it >become famous among camp grills as the pasty baby s----stained butt pillow kid >fast forward to dance on the last night actually recovered enough to dance, but really awkwardly >grill I asked is nowhere to be found (she was there but avoiding me) try to join two grills and they give me disgusted faces and move end up surrounded by friends and hyper douche >they're juggling me around by pushing me back and forth while I'm trying not to fall over from tail bone pain, all while I'm yelling at them to stop >punch hyper douche in the face and get one moment of ultimate satisfaction as he falls to the floor >he chimps out f------ hardcore by getting me in a headlock and screaming in my ear for a good minute before a counselor pulls him off some 100 kids are staring at us forced to sit on my butt pillows in plain view of everyone for the rest of the night see grill asked dancing with some decent looking guy And that, my friends, was the worst week of my existence x---DdDD

Greentext Stories
pepe the frog frog 4chan greentext

U Anonymous 03/12/1 4(Wed)21:27 UTC-3 No.21 702004 Replies: >>21702073 >>21 702100 >>217021 35 >>21 7021 86 >>21702296 >>21702344 >>21702361 File: 1394670475755.jpg-(4 KB, 232x217, 1366993185929.jpg) >Best friend is a grill We dated while she was in high school (nothing serious) and decided we both only wanted to be friends after her graduation Closest friend I've ever had, she's like a sister >A few years later, we get a place together >She begins dating an old high school friend of mine >Dormed with him in uni, he has some serious insecurity issues >Best friend seems happy, so I tell myself he worked through that s--- >Things go great for the first few months, she says he treats her like gold >Then things start to spiral downward >Best friend is now quiet, constantly glued to her phone >Try and cheer her up, ask her if she wants to hit the bars or something like we used to "No Anon, BF will be upset." >Stop offering Months pass and she grows more and more miserable >He has begun restricting her wardrobe, where she goes, when she works, what she buys, who she sees >She tells me he periodically shows up at her work to make sure she's there Tell her she needs to break it off >She claims she's tried to, but she always takes him back after he promises to change >Get all tough and protective, tell her I'll "deal with him" >This guy is a fat manlet, even the biggest of DYELs could take him >She begs me not to get involved unless things get violent >Things only get worse over the next few months We're all at home one night, me in my room, both of them in hers >He starts yelling at her >Saying awful s--- >Then I hear it, the unmistakable sound of a right hook to the jaw >Sit there for a moment, listening to her sobs >Turn up the volume on my TV until I can't hear her anymore I could have done something
U Anonymous 03/12/1 4(Wed)21:27 UTC-3 No.21 702004 Replies: >>21702073 >>21 702100 >>217021 35 >>21 7021 86 >>21702296 >>21702344 >>21702361 File: 1394670475755.jpg-(4 KB, 232x217, 1366993185929.jpg) >Best friend is a grill We dated while she was in high school (nothing serious) and decided we both only wanted to be friends after her graduation Closest friend I've ever had, she's like a sister >A few years later, we get a place together >She begins dating an old high school friend of mine >Dormed with him in uni, he has some serious insecurity issues >Best friend seems happy, so I tell myself he worked through that s--- >Things go great for the first few months, she says he treats her like gold >Then things start to spiral downward >Best friend is now quiet, constantly glued to her phone >Try and cheer her up, ask her if she wants to hit the bars or something like we used to "No Anon, BF will be upset." >Stop offering Months pass and she grows more and more miserable >He has begun restricting her wardrobe, where she goes, when she works, what she buys, who she sees >She tells me he periodically shows up at her work to make sure she's there Tell her she needs to break it off >She claims she's tried to, but she always takes him back after he promises to change >Get all tough and protective, tell her I'll "deal with him" >This guy is a fat manlet, even the biggest of DYELs could take him >She begs me not to get involved unless things get violent >Things only get worse over the next few months We're all at home one night, me in my room, both of them in hers >He starts yelling at her >Saying awful s--- >Then I hear it, the unmistakable sound of a right hook to the jaw >Sit there for a moment, listening to her sobs >Turn up the volume on my TV until I can't hear her anymore I could have done something

Greentext Stories
green text story beta depressing

Anonymous E트 03/12/14(Wed)20:01 UTC-3 No.216986 19 Replies: >>21698709 >>21698793 >>21698803>-21699041 >>21699173 >>21699205 >>21699235 >>21699735 >>21699868 >>21700296 >>21700515 >>21701316 >>21701486 >>21701945 File: 1394665297076.png-(60 KB, 793x645, 1374832704952.png) > be me in love with blonde qt3.14 gil not sure if she likes me. > friend is having party > says his dad is a bro and will hook is up with drinks, weed, etc. tells me I should invite her. > invite her. s we hang out, talk, really hit it off. > go for drinks. > come back and friend's dad is creepin on her. > give her drink and take her over to couch with friend and his girl we drink and talk > friend gives us some pill, says its awesome don't want to seem like losers so we take them > never been high before. > me and qt3.14 dancing >she gets real sleepy. I get real sleepy. >stagger into hallway. > lie down on floor. she's already asleep > put arm around her. must protect... pass out. >wake up 18r. still drugged. can't move. > hear bed springs. > barely raise my head and see in bedroom > blonde qt3.14 is naked, on bed, getting f----- by friend's dad. >realize she's still passed out. > my head is so heavy I'm crying she's getting railed and I can't stay awake >pass back out. > wake up next morning. some ppl still asleep here and there. >get up and go into bedroom >she's still asleep. so peaceful. angelic > my heart is f------ broken. then I make a decision > quietly as I can, strip down. > slowly crawl into bed with her. > just gaze at her beautiful face for what several minutes. > her eyes open and for a sec she looks terrified. >grabs sheets and pills them tighter. then she relaxes a bit. > tentatively she asks, "did we...?" >say "yeah" > closes her eyes, relief on her face, and puts her arms around me. > I'm glad it was with you. Oh god /int/, did I do the right thing?

Greentext Stories
party drugs faking sex sad

413531-CosmicBrownies ina (195 KB, 800x600) gooqle iadb LUN Anonymous 11/24/13(Sun) 13:00:34 No.28470756 [ 2-28470732竺24470790 >Last Night's D&D session DM decides to reveal that he's actually a bit of an amateur chef >Spends ten minutes puttering around in the kitchen, and we hear the constant churning noise of a blender >Comes back with large mugs filled with a thick, brown liquicd Pt's my cosmic brownie shake. Just try it -Try it It tastes like sex with an angel Everyone drains their mugs > Don't worry, there's plenty left! You can drink as much as you want And, the best part is, its actually really healthy for you! We start playing, continuing to drink the tasty shakes the entire time >About an hour in, I start to feel funny >One guy dashes off to the bathroom, and a few seconds later we hear him screaming S"ITS LIKE SNAKES. ITS LIKE SNAKES ARE IN MY GUTS AND ARE TEARING APART MY A------. >No one has any idea what he's talking about One minute later Everyone knows what he's talking about manage to reach one of the three bathrooms >Pain >Agonizing pain Like my liver is strangling my stomach while my intestines tie themselves into knots >l am s------- and crying and occasionally screaming Hear screaming coming from outside the window One guy didn't manage to get into a bathroom He's screaming and crying and s------- outside in the backyarod Neighbors walk out of their house to see whats going on >Guy in the backyard is pleading with them to kill him Everyone spends the entire night just s------- and crying l just got back home and I think I lost thirty pounds Gaming food thread? [-]O Anonymous 1 1/24/13(Sun)13:02:47 No.28470782 [▼] >>28470798 >>28470804 >>28470828 228470756 (0P Did you get the recipe?
413531-CosmicBrownies ina (195 KB, 800x600) gooqle iadb LUN Anonymous 11/24/13(Sun) 13:00:34 No.28470756 [ 2-28470732竺24470790 >Last Night's D&D session DM decides to reveal that he's actually a bit of an amateur chef >Spends ten minutes puttering around in the kitchen, and we hear the constant churning noise of a blender >Comes back with large mugs filled with a thick, brown liquicd Pt's my cosmic brownie shake. Just try it -Try it It tastes like sex with an angel Everyone drains their mugs > Don't worry, there's plenty left! You can drink as much as you want And, the best part is, its actually really healthy for you! We start playing, continuing to drink the tasty shakes the entire time >About an hour in, I start to feel funny >One guy dashes off to the bathroom, and a few seconds later we hear him screaming S"ITS LIKE SNAKES. ITS LIKE SNAKES ARE IN MY GUTS AND ARE TEARING APART MY A------. >No one has any idea what he's talking about One minute later Everyone knows what he's talking about manage to reach one of the three bathrooms >Pain >Agonizing pain Like my liver is strangling my stomach while my intestines tie themselves into knots >l am s------- and crying and occasionally screaming Hear screaming coming from outside the window One guy didn't manage to get into a bathroom He's screaming and crying and s------- outside in the backyarod Neighbors walk out of their house to see whats going on >Guy in the backyard is pleading with them to kill him Everyone spends the entire night just s------- and crying l just got back home and I think I lost thirty pounds Gaming food thread? [-]O Anonymous 1 1/24/13(Sun)13:02:47 No.28470782 [▼] >>28470798 >>28470804 >>28470828 228470756 (0P Did you get the recipe?

Greentext Stories
cosmic brownies cosmic brownie shake green text stories d&d little debbie

Based on a True Story

anime Anonymous (ID: gTvKlzCM) 03/03/14(Mon)22:12:19 UTC-5 No.535464048 be me facebook page manager post image of the greatest anime in history, Shrek just want to spread the joy of the ogrelord to all people bash the image, saying Shrek isn't an anime, blaspheming the holy onion peeler call the heretics dreck Zuckerberg shuts down my facebook account for hatespeech >crying alone on my bed feel a warm onion scented presence fill the room look up from my tear-stained pillow it's Shrek >I look at his hands he's holding the decapitated heads of Zuckerberg in one hand, and the heretics in the other he looks at me and says "it ain't ogre till it's ogre" I know what I must do get on my knees >Shrek takes out his massive ogre sized c--- >I'm ready he shoves it down my throat and instantly shoots his onion love down my gullet. wake up the next morning wondering if it was a dream turn on news headline states that Zuckerberg's and three others' decapitated bodies were found in an onion patch get on laptop facebook account is back and am now CEO of facebook notice an onion next to my feet pick it up there's a message engraved into the side "Welcome to the swamp, laddeh" Shrek is love Shrek is life Anonymous (ID: Jme7FvNB) 03/03/14(Mon)22:14:28 UTC-5 No.535464437 Can we admit that Looney Toons is, at the very least, in the top 5 anime series ever?
anime Anonymous (ID: gTvKlzCM) 03/03/14(Mon)22:12:19 UTC-5 No.535464048 be me facebook page manager post image of the greatest anime in history, Shrek just want to spread the joy of the ogrelord to all people bash the image, saying Shrek isn't an anime, blaspheming the holy onion peeler call the heretics dreck Zuckerberg shuts down my facebook account for hatespeech >crying alone on my bed feel a warm onion scented presence fill the room look up from my tear-stained pillow it's Shrek >I look at his hands he's holding the decapitated heads of Zuckerberg in one hand, and the heretics in the other he looks at me and says "it ain't ogre till it's ogre" I know what I must do get on my knees >Shrek takes out his massive ogre sized c--- >I'm ready he shoves it down my throat and instantly shoots his onion love down my gullet. wake up the next morning wondering if it was a dream turn on news headline states that Zuckerberg's and three others' decapitated bodies were found in an onion patch get on laptop facebook account is back and am now CEO of facebook notice an onion next to my feet pick it up there's a message engraved into the side "Welcome to the swamp, laddeh" Shrek is love Shrek is life Anonymous (ID: Jme7FvNB) 03/03/14(Mon)22:14:28 UTC-5 No.535464437 Can we admit that Looney Toons is, at the very least, in the top 5 anime series ever?

Greentext Stories
shrek onions best anime 2016

WHAT HAVE WE DONE

Anonymous (ID: zuqo ITT: Weird sex experiences >be 22 >start dating blonde. 7/10 >shes quirky but furn >dat ass >second date >go to her place >shewantstheD.jpeg >go down on her things are going well >she stops me, wants to roleplay >blindfolds me, we're playing doctor >kinky but okay >feel pressure around my ass >pull off blindfold >crazy bitch is shoving 3-4 plastic horses into my a------ she says my condition is "stable"

Greentext Stories
4chan horses carlos oh god the puns

Trolling Jehova 2: Electric Boogaloo

□ Anonymous (ID: H4poLZ52) 03/02/14 (Sun)12:59:11 UTC-8 No.535239345 Replies: >>5352458932-535251 267 535234787 (OP hahaha thats nothing >be me about 3 years ago jehovas doing their thang. come to my door at least 3 times that week cause I didnt answer >persistent bastards decide one day ive had enough > get black hooded cloak from halloween costumes box get big cutting knife cut my thumb a bit and draw pentagram of blood on forehead > lie in wait.. >jehovas come like lambs to the slaughter >they knock a few times. finally answer >"hello th...! oh my god" they are shocked > me in black cloak holding knife blood pentagram on forehead respond really impatiently. "what?! what do you want im busy!" > "please sir we REALLY need to talk to you about god it will change your life we promise!" laugh really loudly say something about the fires are coming and slam door and I have never been bothered by cult of jehova again
□ Anonymous (ID: H4poLZ52) 03/02/14 (Sun)12:59:11 UTC-8 No.535239345 Replies: >>5352458932-535251 267 535234787 (OP hahaha thats nothing >be me about 3 years ago jehovas doing their thang. come to my door at least 3 times that week cause I didnt answer >persistent bastards decide one day ive had enough > get black hooded cloak from halloween costumes box get big cutting knife cut my thumb a bit and draw pentagram of blood on forehead > lie in wait.. >jehovas come like lambs to the slaughter >they knock a few times. finally answer >"hello th...! oh my god" they are shocked > me in black cloak holding knife blood pentagram on forehead respond really impatiently. "what?! what do you want im busy!" > "please sir we REALLY need to talk to you about god it will change your life we promise!" laugh really loudly say something about the fires are coming and slam door and I have never been bothered by cult of jehova again

Greentext Stories
trolling jehaova's witnesses

Trolling Jehovah's Witnesses

Anonymous (D: f7XIZgOB) 03/02/14 (Sun)15:26:08 UTC-8 No.535261394 >Knock on the door >Go to door >7/10 woman and old ass c--- >Old ass c--- says "HEllo, I'd like to talk to you for amount about our lord and savior Jesus Christ and I." >l say "I know you guys, you don't believe in hell and stuff, so let me tell you, if you don't believe in hell, then what are the consequences of not being apart of your religion? >Both of them are speechless >"That's what I thought. >Slammed the door >Weeks pass >Both of them come back >Old lady says "We dont believe in the traditional way of what people think hell is, just lesser degrees of heaven and-" >Say to them "I'll take number three!" >Slam the door >Months pass, they are planning something good. >So am I >They knock at the door >I'm giddy like a child in a candy store ready to do this >l put a rag on my head and put on a fake beard >l open the door >"Hello an- OH MY GOD?! What happened!" >I scream "PRAISE ALLAH AND HIS HOLINESS! WHY DO YOU DISTURB ME?!" The old c--- says "l-i-i-l just wanted t-t-o show you t >I scream again "GET OFF MY FRONT STEPI INSHAALLAH I WILL TAKE OFF YOUR HEAD FOR THE GLORY OF ALLAHI" >They turn around and walk back to their cars >Police roll around my house for weeks thinking I'm a terrorist or something he Watchtow- Sometimes I love living in a small white cracker town.
Anonymous (D: f7XIZgOB) 03/02/14 (Sun)15:26:08 UTC-8 No.535261394 >Knock on the door >Go to door >7/10 woman and old ass c--- >Old ass c--- says "HEllo, I'd like to talk to you for amount about our lord and savior Jesus Christ and I." >l say "I know you guys, you don't believe in hell and stuff, so let me tell you, if you don't believe in hell, then what are the consequences of not being apart of your religion? >Both of them are speechless >"That's what I thought. >Slammed the door >Weeks pass >Both of them come back >Old lady says "We dont believe in the traditional way of what people think hell is, just lesser degrees of heaven and-" >Say to them "I'll take number three!" >Slam the door >Months pass, they are planning something good. >So am I >They knock at the door >I'm giddy like a child in a candy store ready to do this >l put a rag on my head and put on a fake beard >l open the door >"Hello an- OH MY GOD?! What happened!" >I scream "PRAISE ALLAH AND HIS HOLINESS! WHY DO YOU DISTURB ME?!" The old c--- says "l-i-i-l just wanted t-t-o show you t >I scream again "GET OFF MY FRONT STEPI INSHAALLAH I WILL TAKE OFF YOUR HEAD FOR THE GLORY OF ALLAHI" >They turn around and walk back to their cars >Police roll around my house for weeks thinking I'm a terrorist or something he Watchtow- Sometimes I love living in a small white cracker town.

Greentext Stories
lol trolling jehovah's witness

1-1 Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:32:56 No.3420448回 s"Son, your the games you are buying are viruses! You need to remove them >"But Mom! My Sister has Napster and Limewire installed on the computer, and she constantly downloads viruses disguised as music! I bought these games from Best Buy, they are not infected with anything" >"No anon, Music cannot have viruses, only games can." She took the computer to Best Buy, and the employees told her the same thing after they fixed it. She ignored them and just banned me from using the family computer for two years, because my Mom always needs someone to blame except for my sister I eventually saved up enough money to buy a near-mint condition Thinkpad, that had a broken Windows installation. I just installed Debian (Linux distro) and called it a day Replies to this post: | Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:33:34 No.3420456 3420448 CONT >Sister continues to use Limewire to download viruses, since she cannot tell the difference between a 5kb exe and a 5mb mp3 >While I am at school (she is supposedly sick), she takes my laptop and tries to use it for her various online activities, and quickly discovers it is impossible to install Windows programs natively on it. >She talks to my Mom and tells her that I broke my computer, and that I was probably too embarrassed to fix it >They go to Best Buy and have a fellow install Windows on it, along with every junk program on this side of the galaxy >They wiped all of school assignments and notes in the process, even the ones I was working on, AND EVEN THE F------ FAT16 PARTITION THAT WAS NAMED "BACKUP - DO NOT WIPE" >By the time I arrive home my sister has managed to f--- it up with more viruses than a two-bit w---- >My Mom tells me that the laptop is now my sisters property, since "I cannot be trusted with computers" > "But Mom, I bought it with my own money from the jobs I did last Summer. Whether I can use it well is irrelevant" >She tells me that if it wasn't for her status as a local pharmacist I would have never had the jobs, so it was her money anyway >mfw only half the people I worked for knew her name And that /r9k/, is how I became known as the computer illiterate of my family Replies to this post: 0493 3 0505 3 552 2 413 3 | Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:51:50 No. 3420598 0 3 | Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:42:26 No.3420529 File: 134495534624 48 KB. 259x194, 1344309378480.jpg) IM BEYOND MAD Lt 3420529 I did, though I locked it in a locked chest instead of putting a lock on it Of course my Sister though a hissy-fit, and my Mom responded by taking some of my CDs to "see how I feel when someone takes my stuff." They somehow ended up broken (including a backup disk of my sisters data), but I still refused to hand over my laptop because f--- the police, I value my computer more than any other of my possessions (besides memorabilia) 3420456 Why didnt you just take it back and put a lock on it you f------ p---- 10/10 I got so f------ mad My Mom just called a locksmith and got the computer out of the chest and gave it back to my sister, who raged because I had reinstalled debian and apparently deleted her information without backing it up. Being the calm, cool, rational being she was, she through the laptop outside during her fit of rage, and it fell in a puddle while running Replies to this post: I did not mention it earlier because this part is just retarded, not entertaining in the least
1-1 Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:32:56 No.3420448回 s"Son, your the games you are buying are viruses! You need to remove them >"But Mom! My Sister has Napster and Limewire installed on the computer, and she constantly downloads viruses disguised as music! I bought these games from Best Buy, they are not infected with anything" >"No anon, Music cannot have viruses, only games can." She took the computer to Best Buy, and the employees told her the same thing after they fixed it. She ignored them and just banned me from using the family computer for two years, because my Mom always needs someone to blame except for my sister I eventually saved up enough money to buy a near-mint condition Thinkpad, that had a broken Windows installation. I just installed Debian (Linux distro) and called it a day Replies to this post: | Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:33:34 No.3420456 3420448 CONT >Sister continues to use Limewire to download viruses, since she cannot tell the difference between a 5kb exe and a 5mb mp3 >While I am at school (she is supposedly sick), she takes my laptop and tries to use it for her various online activities, and quickly discovers it is impossible to install Windows programs natively on it. >She talks to my Mom and tells her that I broke my computer, and that I was probably too embarrassed to fix it >They go to Best Buy and have a fellow install Windows on it, along with every junk program on this side of the galaxy >They wiped all of school assignments and notes in the process, even the ones I was working on, AND EVEN THE F------ FAT16 PARTITION THAT WAS NAMED "BACKUP - DO NOT WIPE" >By the time I arrive home my sister has managed to f--- it up with more viruses than a two-bit w---- >My Mom tells me that the laptop is now my sisters property, since "I cannot be trusted with computers" > "But Mom, I bought it with my own money from the jobs I did last Summer. Whether I can use it well is irrelevant" >She tells me that if it wasn't for her status as a local pharmacist I would have never had the jobs, so it was her money anyway >mfw only half the people I worked for knew her name And that /r9k/, is how I became known as the computer illiterate of my family Replies to this post: 0493 3 0505 3 552 2 413 3 | Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:51:50 No. 3420598 0 3 | Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:42:26 No.3420529 File: 134495534624 48 KB. 259x194, 1344309378480.jpg) IM BEYOND MAD Lt 3420529 I did, though I locked it in a locked chest instead of putting a lock on it Of course my Sister though a hissy-fit, and my Mom responded by taking some of my CDs to "see how I feel when someone takes my stuff." They somehow ended up broken (including a backup disk of my sisters data), but I still refused to hand over my laptop because f--- the police, I value my computer more than any other of my possessions (besides memorabilia) 3420456 Why didnt you just take it back and put a lock on it you f------ p---- 10/10 I got so f------ mad My Mom just called a locksmith and got the computer out of the chest and gave it back to my sister, who raged because I had reinstalled debian and apparently deleted her information without backing it up. Being the calm, cool, rational being she was, she through the laptop outside during her fit of rage, and it fell in a puddle while running Replies to this post: I did not mention it earlier because this part is just retarded, not entertaining in the least

Greentext Stories
angering 4chan favoritism viruses computer viruses

A masterpiece

Anonymous 07/17/13(Wed)19:36 No. 17199328 Replies: >17199354 171995362217200260 1720029517200470 Here's my story >inna Afghanistan >horny as f---, its been well over a month into deployment with no jacking off Pone night on top of a mountain, dug in watching for taliban on the opposing ridge >1LT falls asleep on our shift severyone else in section is asleep >fagballs third section is mostly asleep too, first is down the ridge too far to see >suddenly possessed by thoughts of my ex girlfriend's perfect t--- and tight vagoo...f------ redheads man >proceed m----------- >going great till I hear a "whizzz ssee a flash on opposing ridge >bullet lands in tree next to me >with c--- out, about to blow, I yell as loud as I can "WAKE THE F--- UP" >kick LT in the back of the head >short firefight ensues ast shots fired, LT has a half p----- halfdisgusted look on his face as he looks at me >r-----------, c-- on his sleeve and boot Maintained a r----------- through a small firefight, came sometime in that firefight on the LT, and the whole time I didn't think to pull my pants up. Fought with bare ass exposed and raging erection pointed towards the enemy. That was two years ago and everyone STILL regards me as the battery psychopath.

Greentext Stories
4chan military afghanistan

File: 136424211338Zipg-(18 KB, 366x380, 1334329164853.jpg) Anonymous (ID: jiv6cyvu) 03/25/13(Mon)16:08:33 UTC-4 No.467771860 Replies: 22487772247467772308 2487772387 487772515487772803 48777382487773909 How f------ f----- am I, Ibl be me about an hour ago >present our new e-commerce web front end to senior management team >start doing a quick run-through of the new, simplified process of creating an account on a huge projector. >account creation page has a recaptcha implementation get to the recaptcha portion of the form and without even thinking I type: sniggers firoyth sclick "Ok nobody says anything 35 people just stare at me >one lady just has her mouth open, completely f------ mindfucked 7- what are-you doing continue on like nothing happened just got a call from my manager... he wants to talk first thing in the morning Easily the biggest derp in my life. I'm sure it will cost me my job Ive been reniggering recaptcha since it was implimented on /b/ and was one of thos e f--- petiti oning for captcha in order to get rid of spam cancer. Ive reniggered hundreds and hundreds of recaptchas and it is just like muscle memory for me at this point. what goes around comes around, I guess. >pic so f------ related
File: 136424211338Zipg-(18 KB, 366x380, 1334329164853.jpg) Anonymous (ID: jiv6cyvu) 03/25/13(Mon)16:08:33 UTC-4 No.467771860 Replies: 22487772247467772308 2487772387 487772515487772803 48777382487773909 How f------ f----- am I, Ibl be me about an hour ago >present our new e-commerce web front end to senior management team >start doing a quick run-through of the new, simplified process of creating an account on a huge projector. >account creation page has a recaptcha implementation get to the recaptcha portion of the form and without even thinking I type: sniggers firoyth sclick "Ok nobody says anything 35 people just stare at me >one lady just has her mouth open, completely f------ mindfucked 7- what are-you doing continue on like nothing happened just got a call from my manager... he wants to talk first thing in the morning Easily the biggest derp in my life. I'm sure it will cost me my job Ive been reniggering recaptcha since it was implimented on /b/ and was one of thos e f--- petiti oning for captcha in order to get rid of spam cancer. Ive reniggered hundreds and hundreds of recaptchas and it is just like muscle memory for me at this point. what goes around comes around, I guess. >pic so f------ related

Greentext Stories
4chan recaptcha

Cheesy situations

Anonymous 08/30/12(Thu)07:13 No.14424036 File: 1346325217263.ipg-(51 KB, 396x385, 131951335186.jpg) friends set me up with a chick for one night stand on sort of a blind date thing >she comes to my house recognize her, seen her in some of my classes but never really talked to her swe hit it off >we're both sitting on my couch, laughing and having a good time swe start inching closer and getting a little physical >I'm eating cheetos with one hand and have my arm around her with the other sout of nowhere, she grabs my cheeto hand and shoves it down the front of her pants still have a cheeto clenched in my hand, but she doesnt notice because she has her eyes closed and she's looking in the air >just work your magic anon, I've never been with a guy before >Ive never even touched a woman before this point but I don't say anything >I start rubbing her clit with my finger like fit said to do >she moans, she says she wants to remember this night forever >"put a finger in there too, anon, I think I love you already smy brain has entirely become spaghetti take the cheeto that was in my hand and slowly start to move it into her vagina to use as a dildo >she beings moaning but then stops mid moan and looks at me >she pulls my hand out of her ants and sees the cheeto just lying there in her panties >she screams "OH MY GOD WHAT THE F---?! YOUR FRIENDS WERE RIGHT! YOU ARE A WEIRD ONE! >l feel like Ive transcended into an ethereal realm of awkwardness >I mutter "I'm d-daaangerously cheesy!" >she says "UGH and runs out my front door >she never tells anyone because she's so embarrassed >l never date again >friends forever mock me...

Greentext Stories
cheese fit tfw no gf

Shrek

ile: 1358148753159.ipg-(105 KB, 300x300, 300.shrek.forever.lr.121809.jpg) Anonymous (ID: CBcH+zLI) 01/14/13 (Mon)02:32:33 No.450921803 Replies: 24509 >I was only 9 years old > I loved shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies > I pray to shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given > "Shrek is love" say. "Shrek is life" > My dad hears me and he calls me a f----- > I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek > I called him a c--- > He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep Im crying now, and my face hurts > I lay in bed and its really cold >A warmth i > I feel something touch me > Its shrek > I am so happy > He whispers in to ear, "this is my swamp > He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees s moving towards me > I'm ready > I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek > He penetrates my butthole > It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek > I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water > I push against his force I want to please Shrek > He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love > My dad walks in > Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says. "Its all ogre now" > Shrek leaves through my window > Shrek is love, Shrek is life Anonymous (ID: fBWBqNjg) 01/14/13(Mon)02:33:51 No.450922048 what the f---
ile: 1358148753159.ipg-(105 KB, 300x300, 300.shrek.forever.lr.121809.jpg) Anonymous (ID: CBcH+zLI) 01/14/13 (Mon)02:32:33 No.450921803 Replies: 24509 >I was only 9 years old > I loved shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies > I pray to shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given > "Shrek is love" say. "Shrek is life" > My dad hears me and he calls me a f----- > I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek > I called him a c--- > He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep Im crying now, and my face hurts > I lay in bed and its really cold >A warmth i > I feel something touch me > Its shrek > I am so happy > He whispers in to ear, "this is my swamp > He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees s moving towards me > I'm ready > I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek > He penetrates my butthole > It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek > I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water > I push against his force I want to please Shrek > He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love > My dad walks in > Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says. "Its all ogre now" > Shrek leaves through my window > Shrek is love, Shrek is life Anonymous (ID: fBWBqNjg) 01/14/13(Mon)02:33:51 No.450922048 what the f---

Greentext Stories
green text stories shrek is love shrek is life

11 year old

□ childhood greentext stories Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:40:30 No.288495 >11 years old >twin brother dies >parents don't let me go to his funeral or tell me where it is stells me it would be inappropriate to be there as it could confuse people □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:41:15 No.2884950X 0 10/10 Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:46:00 No.288496xXx my mom died once □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:47:16 No.288497XXX File1290217636 jpg-(74 KB, 720x540) >go to ymca Sfamily showers >see naked 4 year old grow up to be a p--------
□ childhood greentext stories Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:40:30 No.288495 >11 years old >twin brother dies >parents don't let me go to his funeral or tell me where it is stells me it would be inappropriate to be there as it could confuse people □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:41:15 No.2884950X 0 10/10 Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:46:00 No.288496xXx my mom died once □ Anonymous 11/19/10(Fri)20:47:16 No.288497XXX File1290217636 jpg-(74 KB, 720x540) >go to ymca Sfamily showers >see naked 4 year old grow up to be a p--------

Greentext Stories
4chan death twins greentext showers funeral ymca

Awkward Girl Stories: Wheelchair Girl

/b/-Random How to Take a Screenshot i ← → C O boards·4chan.org/b/res/335695449 Click for JList! Anime Figures Oppai Mousepads TENGA Male Toys TH File 1308618284 ipg-(33 KB, 319x239, 1308034939787.jpg) Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:04:44 No.335695449 Awkward girl Stories are a go lm 15 n bible camp >Girl in a wheelchair, who is actually f------ hot as f---, is sitting in her chair next to the the sports field >l go up to her and ask if she's ok >She says yeah, but obviously she's a bit bored to being able to play ABACUST get a tennis ball and we throw it back and forth >Later on she texts me from her lodgings (girls and boys in separate areas) asking ifI wanna meet at sunset >Meet the chick, she's folded her chair and is sitting on a blanket so she doesnt seem brokern >2 hours later we're kissing, I tear her clothes off and undress, and f--- her >It's really hard to control her legs while im on my knees thrusting, as they are flopping about in my one free hand >Camp leaders come close, I say "F---, run" and run away later realize she was disabled and she was lying there naked when the bible leaders came round Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:05:37 No.335695616 Well s---. HAHAHAHA sS Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:06:13 No.335695718 win 2 Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:07:07 No.335695888
/b/-Random How to Take a Screenshot i ← → C O boards·4chan.org/b/res/335695449 Click for JList! Anime Figures Oppai Mousepads TENGA Male Toys TH File 1308618284 ipg-(33 KB, 319x239, 1308034939787.jpg) Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:04:44 No.335695449 Awkward girl Stories are a go lm 15 n bible camp >Girl in a wheelchair, who is actually f------ hot as f---, is sitting in her chair next to the the sports field >l go up to her and ask if she's ok >She says yeah, but obviously she's a bit bored to being able to play ABACUST get a tennis ball and we throw it back and forth >Later on she texts me from her lodgings (girls and boys in separate areas) asking ifI wanna meet at sunset >Meet the chick, she's folded her chair and is sitting on a blanket so she doesnt seem brokern >2 hours later we're kissing, I tear her clothes off and undress, and f--- her >It's really hard to control her legs while im on my knees thrusting, as they are flopping about in my one free hand >Camp leaders come close, I say "F---, run" and run away later realize she was disabled and she was lying there naked when the bible leaders came round Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:05:37 No.335695616 Well s---. HAHAHAHA sS Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:06:13 No.335695718 win 2 Anonymous 06/20/11(Mon)21:07:07 No.335695888

Greentext Stories
awkward girl run story horrible greentext stories disabled people whellchair bible camp 4chan how do i take a screenshot

This

El Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 140589 10E) >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights fick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver! >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard! >All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run >"1 know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house. □ SothlknPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)01:36 No.14058930曰 F------ EPIC Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:41 No. 140589829 214058910 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS
El Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 140589 10E) >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights fick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver! >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard! >All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run >"1 know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house. □ SothlknPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)01:36 No.14058930曰 F------ EPIC Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:41 No. 140589829 214058910 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS

Greentext Stories
4chan green text stories

Miss your stop

thread File :1267653199751 ipg-(49 KB, 374x357, you-gonna-get-r----.jpg) Anonymous 03/03/10(Wed) 16:53: 1 No.7743764 The awkwardest thing that ITT happened today, presented by greentext. Gaze aimlessly on train Prealize you're looking at a hard-gay black man >look away look at him again >he nods arrive at your stop, which is coincidentally his stop miss your stop
thread File :1267653199751 ipg-(49 KB, 374x357, you-gonna-get-r----.jpg) Anonymous 03/03/10(Wed) 16:53: 1 No.7743764 The awkwardest thing that ITT happened today, presented by greentext. Gaze aimlessly on train Prealize you're looking at a hard-gay black man >look away look at him again >he nods arrive at your stop, which is coincidentally his stop miss your stop

Greentext Stories
gay stop bus greentext black man akward

File: 1346759503879.ipg-(15 KB, 316x237, .jpg) Anonymous (ID: ip+zqffK) 09/04/12(Tue)07:51:43 No.423172671 > Be American > Take first ever trip overseas to Australia Still too early to check in at hotel, so decide to go to airport bar >Bar is surprisingly ful > Not > Beer, beer everywhere > Large taps with beer flowing freely, men collecting it with giant glasses > I knew Australians liked beer but Jesus... > All of a sudden, perhaps unsurprisingly, a big guy in khakis pukes violently all over the bar > His friend, who was laughing, quickly stops laughing and starts dry-heaving > ohgodno.jpg ice everyone is drinking beer AUSTRALIA > The second guy inevitably vomits, which causes the guy next to him to start vomiting. The chain reaction eventually effects most of the guys in the bar until all you can hear is a cacophony of heaving coughing, spluttering and splashing > I manage to drag myself away from the scene and decide to catch a cab to my hotel > Get out the front and it is pouring with rain > Thunder cracks overhead and I almost lose my s--- >Cab pulls up > I lean in the window > "Take me downtown? > He looks at me blankly > Ask him politely if he speaks my language > He just smiles and gi > And he says > "I come from a land down under, where the beer does flow and men chunder, can't you hear can't you hear that thunder? You better run, you better take cover!" and its some Indian guy ves me a Vegemite Sandwich
File: 1346759503879.ipg-(15 KB, 316x237, .jpg) Anonymous (ID: ip+zqffK) 09/04/12(Tue)07:51:43 No.423172671 > Be American > Take first ever trip overseas to Australia Still too early to check in at hotel, so decide to go to airport bar >Bar is surprisingly ful > Not > Beer, beer everywhere > Large taps with beer flowing freely, men collecting it with giant glasses > I knew Australians liked beer but Jesus... > All of a sudden, perhaps unsurprisingly, a big guy in khakis pukes violently all over the bar > His friend, who was laughing, quickly stops laughing and starts dry-heaving > ohgodno.jpg ice everyone is drinking beer AUSTRALIA > The second guy inevitably vomits, which causes the guy next to him to start vomiting. The chain reaction eventually effects most of the guys in the bar until all you can hear is a cacophony of heaving coughing, spluttering and splashing > I manage to drag myself away from the scene and decide to catch a cab to my hotel > Get out the front and it is pouring with rain > Thunder cracks overhead and I almost lose my s--- >Cab pulls up > I lean in the window > "Take me downtown? > He looks at me blankly > Ask him politely if he speaks my language > He just smiles and gi > And he says > "I come from a land down under, where the beer does flow and men chunder, can't you hear can't you hear that thunder? You better run, you better take cover!" and its some Indian guy ves me a Vegemite Sandwich

Greentext Stories
australia

File: 1371922563634.ipg-(769 KB, 2849x3474, Theodore_Roosevelt laughing.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Q6RIFYsi) 06/22/13(Sat)13:36:03 No.488565345 Replies: 2488565738 >Be me >Be 16 >New school, introduced to class >Meet guy who is an a------, let's call him Shitgut >Shitgut tries to start bullying me >Be alpha and resist >Dont make many friends, don't need them >Notice Shitgut bullies other kids >Decide to f--- him up >Figure where his locker is >Wait until school is over, follow him home from a safe distance, unseen >Mark down where he lives, GTFO >Find out he does hockey, figure out where his ice rink is, and what time he trains >Spend six months practically stalking that f---, making sure I don't get caught >Map out where he is at any time, at all times >Then proceed to phase two, buy a pineapple On a day I get off school earlier than he does, bike to his house and leave the pineapple at the door >His parents ain't home for hours, seen by nobody >He tells people about the pineapple tomorrow, nobody cares >Two weeks later, sneak a pineapple at the ice rink, in the men's dressing room >People think he's making it up >Start buying a pineapple on a regular basis, always have it ready when opportunity strikes >Hallway empty, pick his locker and leave a pineapple >His motorbike is unwatched, leave a pineapple >He doesn't mention the pineapples to anyone anymore >Figure out where they keep his home's spare key >Skip school, sneak into his home while his parents work >Leave a pineapple on his bed >Hear he's failing classes >His parents put up a security camera, I figure the blind spot and dodge that s--- >Send him a f------ pineapple for christmas through the mail from a fake address >He doesn't show up to school every day anymore >Don't even think about why I do it anymore, it's just for s---- and giggles now >Bombard that f--- with random pineapples every few weeks for two f------ years >School year ends, finish school Go to college like a boss Come back home for the holidays >Hear someone from my old school had had a panic attac >It's Shitgut >Someone had left a f------ pineapple on the beer shelf k at the grocery store
File: 1371922563634.ipg-(769 KB, 2849x3474, Theodore_Roosevelt laughing.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Q6RIFYsi) 06/22/13(Sat)13:36:03 No.488565345 Replies: 2488565738 >Be me >Be 16 >New school, introduced to class >Meet guy who is an a------, let's call him Shitgut >Shitgut tries to start bullying me >Be alpha and resist >Dont make many friends, don't need them >Notice Shitgut bullies other kids >Decide to f--- him up >Figure where his locker is >Wait until school is over, follow him home from a safe distance, unseen >Mark down where he lives, GTFO >Find out he does hockey, figure out where his ice rink is, and what time he trains >Spend six months practically stalking that f---, making sure I don't get caught >Map out where he is at any time, at all times >Then proceed to phase two, buy a pineapple On a day I get off school earlier than he does, bike to his house and leave the pineapple at the door >His parents ain't home for hours, seen by nobody >He tells people about the pineapple tomorrow, nobody cares >Two weeks later, sneak a pineapple at the ice rink, in the men's dressing room >People think he's making it up >Start buying a pineapple on a regular basis, always have it ready when opportunity strikes >Hallway empty, pick his locker and leave a pineapple >His motorbike is unwatched, leave a pineapple >He doesn't mention the pineapples to anyone anymore >Figure out where they keep his home's spare key >Skip school, sneak into his home while his parents work >Leave a pineapple on his bed >Hear he's failing classes >His parents put up a security camera, I figure the blind spot and dodge that s--- >Send him a f------ pineapple for christmas through the mail from a fake address >He doesn't show up to school every day anymore >Don't even think about why I do it anymore, it's just for s---- and giggles now >Bombard that f--- with random pineapples every few weeks for two f------ years >School year ends, finish school Go to college like a boss Come back home for the holidays >Hear someone from my old school had had a panic attac >It's Shitgut >Someone had left a f------ pineapple on the beer shelf k at the grocery store

Greentext Stories
4chan teddy roosevelt bully pineapple

■ Anonymous f 1107/13(Thu)22:40:55 UTC-5 No.512919342 ! Roples: ASI File: 13839954413 KB 400 215, 1330078366059gn I >Applying for a government job Atter an internew wait a week or so for the background check eSuddenty get a call one day asking ta go to their main office for anotter interview Two guys wearing suits and sunglassas take me into a roam The room looks like an interrogation room; it has asingle celing light. and tas nothing but twn chars, a metal desk, and a camera in the coner One of the guys sits down and the ather stands near the door Sitting guy slams a 44nch thick file on the table ale says that the background check turned up some interesting results The file contains every past He fips through the pages and I see highlighted words and phrases all ower the page lica "faggotucking f----- the k---- are responsible for this n----- software and CP hardcore hental and p--- images Guy sitting down at the table nods to the guy at the door Door guy locks the door Guy sitting down slawly takes off his sunglasses: looks me nght in the eye and and says Care to explain Meet s stare Only one response possible Lurk moar newtag aite rewards me with a single, satisfied nod am hired miw made on 4chan going back tour years ll yourself you mggerfaggot, references to pitated
■ Anonymous f 1107/13(Thu)22:40:55 UTC-5 No.512919342 ! Roples: ASI File: 13839954413 KB 400 215, 1330078366059gn I >Applying for a government job Atter an internew wait a week or so for the background check eSuddenty get a call one day asking ta go to their main office for anotter interview Two guys wearing suits and sunglassas take me into a roam The room looks like an interrogation room; it has asingle celing light. and tas nothing but twn chars, a metal desk, and a camera in the coner One of the guys sits down and the ather stands near the door Sitting guy slams a 44nch thick file on the table ale says that the background check turned up some interesting results The file contains every past He fips through the pages and I see highlighted words and phrases all ower the page lica "faggotucking f----- the k---- are responsible for this n----- software and CP hardcore hental and p--- images Guy sitting down at the table nods to the guy at the door Door guy locks the door Guy sitting down slawly takes off his sunglasses: looks me nght in the eye and and says Care to explain Meet s stare Only one response possible Lurk moar newtag aite rewards me with a single, satisfied nod am hired miw made on 4chan going back tour years ll yourself you mggerfaggot, references to pitated

Greentext Stories
4chan