Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon Is the World's Greatest Hacker

File: 71Xz6ej.png (648 KB, 610x915) Anonymous (ID: us1iXD6Q) 06/06/14(Fri)17:30:27 No.549923098 >be me world's greatest hacker #1 on FBl's most wanted list but they can't track me down because i always delete my browser history >just got done hacking entire internet now every user in the world gets redirected to blackpeoplemeet.com >epic lulz one of my hackerbros messages me on AIM >tells me that 420 1337_h4x0r 420, my #1 hackerbro, has been arrested >they were able to backtrace his IP because he forgot to browse on incognito mode word on the street is he's already ratted me out look out window >FBI helicopters circling overhead >hah! those bastards don't know who they're dealing with >open up internet explorer oh yeah, forgot about that get redirected to blackpeoplemeet.com run disableblackpeoplemeet.exe >now it's time for some world class hacking go to fbi.gov/hack >f---, there's a password something appears on the bottom right coner of my screen it's that goddamn talking paperclip "it looks like you're trying to hack the FBI. would you like help?" >f--- off clippy, I'm trying to work here it looks like you're trying to hack the FBI. would you-" >click the little f----- just to make him shut up clippy gives me the password >guess he's not so bad after all >now that i'm in, i go to fbi.gov/hack/helicopters 'congratulations, hacker!" you now have full control of the FBI's helicopters! what would you like them to do?" A) turn left B) turn right C) ascend D) descend E) explode" go with option E >BOOM, baby >flaming helicopters fall from the sky mfw
File: 71Xz6ej.png (648 KB, 610x915) Anonymous (ID: us1iXD6Q) 06/06/14(Fri)17:30:27 No.549923098 >be me world's greatest hacker #1 on FBl's most wanted list but they can't track me down because i always delete my browser history >just got done hacking entire internet now every user in the world gets redirected to blackpeoplemeet.com >epic lulz one of my hackerbros messages me on AIM >tells me that 420 1337_h4x0r 420, my #1 hackerbro, has been arrested >they were able to backtrace his IP because he forgot to browse on incognito mode word on the street is he's already ratted me out look out window >FBI helicopters circling overhead >hah! those bastards don't know who they're dealing with >open up internet explorer oh yeah, forgot about that get redirected to blackpeoplemeet.com run disableblackpeoplemeet.exe >now it's time for some world class hacking go to fbi.gov/hack >f---, there's a password something appears on the bottom right coner of my screen it's that goddamn talking paperclip "it looks like you're trying to hack the FBI. would you like help?" >f--- off clippy, I'm trying to work here it looks like you're trying to hack the FBI. would you-" >click the little f----- just to make him shut up clippy gives me the password >guess he's not so bad after all >now that i'm in, i go to fbi.gov/hack/helicopters 'congratulations, hacker!" you now have full control of the FBI's helicopters! what would you like them to do?" A) turn left B) turn right C) ascend D) descend E) explode" go with option E >BOOM, baby >flaming helicopters fall from the sky mfw

Greentext Stories
hacker 4chan clippy

The [Space]Farer's Sacrament- A filk song by /tg/

Reposting so I can screencap 09/01/14(Mon)03:27:32 No.34550553 Anonymous 09/01/14(Mon)03:37:39 No.34550715 3455057534550645 34550785 >34550423 (You) >34550316 >34550072 (You) 34550054 (You) >>34550575 (You) So now I want to sing this, but I feel like it needs a chorus to break up the monotony. Any ideas? Anonymous 09/01/14(Mon)03:42:08 No.34550785 In ages past we looked above and gazed upon the stars, >34550715 And wondered if a man could live on Luna or on Mars. Today men fly that starry night and bless'd are we who know, The hallowed names and faces of the men who made it so. Well, it fits the meter for a lot of Irish/Scottish drinking songs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXWysTMRP7o [Remove] [Yuri] might not be, some say, the first into the Black, But none deny the truth that he's [The First] to make it back. We look to good old Yuri as the patron of our race, Humanity's protector in this vast and outer space. <0 The Sick Note - The Dubliners DUBLINDKO MILESTONES [Neil] knew it was his duty to use NASA's mighty boon, And take [The Giant] leap on man's behalf up to the Moon. Now colonists and settlers look to Neil for peace of mind, On having made the choice to leave their homeworld far behind. [Buzz] was a mighty pilot and just may have been the best, But more, he was [The Dreamer] seeing far beyond the rest. With name dear to the hearts of anyone who's grabbed the helm We thank Buzz for the future he foresaw our starry realm. [Michael] chose himself a role that most men could not take, Crewed his command module [Loner] for Eleven's mission's sake. When a 'farer's flying solo and his ship is far from home, He can trust that Michael's with him and he's never quite alone. Anonymous 09/01/14(Mon)03:51:58 No.34550934 »34550980 John] may have never gone to space but hallowed is his name, Without his [Steely Eye] Apollo would've died in flames. His brilliant troubleshooting saved Man's place among the stars, Now farers pray to Johnny as our helpful friend afar 34539243 34539277 This brought tears to my eyes I can't explain. Jim] took the role of captain on Thirteen's unlucky flight, And without him as [The Leader] they'd been lost unto the night. We oft think of Jim's example when we're facing matters grave, For he taught us: to be calm, to be resourceful, to be brave. The day /tg/ [Georgy, Vladislav and Vicktor] earned their solemn, holy place, And will always be [Remembered] as the first to die in space. When our fellows go to join them they would tell us not to cry, But to drink a shot and know they're in that bright and starry sky. wrote filk. [Laika] was a mongrel, who had more than shown her worth As [The Loyal] friend of man who proved that we could leave the Earth Now the shipboard pets and critters that we choose to share our days, Are all guarded and protected under Laika's watchful gaze. Whenever we break atmosphere, we call out to two more And beg their benediction on that vast dark ocean's shore Whose crews did burn like novae where the Earth's blue fades to black To [Challenger] when setting out, [Columbia] when back We lift a glass to those who laid our path into the sky A solemn prayer in thanks before into the black we fly We ask you to watch over us wherever we are sent And offer up our voices in a Farer's Sacrament.
Reposting so I can screencap 09/01/14(Mon)03:27:32 No.34550553 Anonymous 09/01/14(Mon)03:37:39 No.34550715 3455057534550645 34550785 >34550423 (You) >34550316 >34550072 (You) 34550054 (You) >>34550575 (You) So now I want to sing this, but I feel like it needs a chorus to break up the monotony. Any ideas? Anonymous 09/01/14(Mon)03:42:08 No.34550785 In ages past we looked above and gazed upon the stars, >34550715 And wondered if a man could live on Luna or on Mars. Today men fly that starry night and bless'd are we who know, The hallowed names and faces of the men who made it so. Well, it fits the meter for a lot of Irish/Scottish drinking songs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXWysTMRP7o [Remove] [Yuri] might not be, some say, the first into the Black, But none deny the truth that he's [The First] to make it back. We look to good old Yuri as the patron of our race, Humanity's protector in this vast and outer space. <0 The Sick Note - The Dubliners DUBLINDKO MILESTONES [Neil] knew it was his duty to use NASA's mighty boon, And take [The Giant] leap on man's behalf up to the Moon. Now colonists and settlers look to Neil for peace of mind, On having made the choice to leave their homeworld far behind. [Buzz] was a mighty pilot and just may have been the best, But more, he was [The Dreamer] seeing far beyond the rest. With name dear to the hearts of anyone who's grabbed the helm We thank Buzz for the future he foresaw our starry realm. [Michael] chose himself a role that most men could not take, Crewed his command module [Loner] for Eleven's mission's sake. When a 'farer's flying solo and his ship is far from home, He can trust that Michael's with him and he's never quite alone. Anonymous 09/01/14(Mon)03:51:58 No.34550934 »34550980 John] may have never gone to space but hallowed is his name, Without his [Steely Eye] Apollo would've died in flames. His brilliant troubleshooting saved Man's place among the stars, Now farers pray to Johnny as our helpful friend afar 34539243 34539277 This brought tears to my eyes I can't explain. Jim] took the role of captain on Thirteen's unlucky flight, And without him as [The Leader] they'd been lost unto the night. We oft think of Jim's example when we're facing matters grave, For he taught us: to be calm, to be resourceful, to be brave. The day /tg/ [Georgy, Vladislav and Vicktor] earned their solemn, holy place, And will always be [Remembered] as the first to die in space. When our fellows go to join them they would tell us not to cry, But to drink a shot and know they're in that bright and starry sky. wrote filk. [Laika] was a mongrel, who had more than shown her worth As [The Loyal] friend of man who proved that we could leave the Earth Now the shipboard pets and critters that we choose to share our days, Are all guarded and protected under Laika's watchful gaze. Whenever we break atmosphere, we call out to two more And beg their benediction on that vast dark ocean's shore Whose crews did burn like novae where the Earth's blue fades to black To [Challenger] when setting out, [Columbia] when back We lift a glass to those who laid our path into the sky A solemn prayer in thanks before into the black we fly We ask you to watch over us wherever we are sent And offer up our voices in a Farer's Sacrament.

Greentext Stories
filk music

Anon preserves his virginity

Anonymous 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a slut at our school 500 USD to f--- me wwSirdcator 575 KB JPG they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity
Anonymous 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a slut at our school 500 USD to f--- me wwSirdcator 575 KB JPG they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity

Greentext Stories
virgin birthday party spiderman virginity greentext stories 4chan slut wholesome

Canadian Geese Origin

>>41920198 Anonymous 08/17/15(Mon)04:58:24 No.41921539 41923267 Ahriman was the god of literal pure evil and darkness from Zoro >41920312 The religion of Canada is a simple one We are kind and peaceful people. We harbor no ill towards anyone. And we can achieve this state of bliss because every time a Canadian is born, a Canada Goose is born with them. The two are paired forever. For every ounce of peace and happiness a Canadian has. The Canada goose has equal hate. Anonymous 08/17/15(Mon)04:05:30 No.41920312 File: Spoiler Image (61 KB, 300x200) 41921539 Let's be honest, there is only one thing that is truly born evil in this world, one thing that exists only to beget suffering in others and eternal torment in those it's path crosses. they are simply beings of hatred IN THE BEGINNING, THE PEOPLE OF CANADA WERE AN EVIL RACE i hate you with every fiber of my being THE REASON CANADIANS ARE SO NICE IS EASILY EXPLAINED. ONCE A YEAR, ON THE SIXTH FULL MOON, ALL CANADIANS GATHER TOGETHER BENEATH THE STARS TO PERFORM A RITUAL THAT SUCKS OUT ALL OF THEIR MEANNESS AND CRUELTY ... AND PLACES IT INTO CANADA GEESE. THEN A GREAT WIZARD NAMED TIM HORTON COLLECTED ALL THEIR RAGEAND CAST IT INTO THE CANADIAN GOOSE Like Share O Comment 1 AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER EXCEPT FOR THE GEESE, THEYRESTILL P----- You know how Canadians are so nice? It's because all our negative thoughts and feelings are collected until theres enough to form a Canadian goose. That's where Canadian geese come mgilp.com A from Like Reply Just now isn't that just the plot of The Dark Crystal?
>>41920198 Anonymous 08/17/15(Mon)04:58:24 No.41921539 41923267 Ahriman was the god of literal pure evil and darkness from Zoro >41920312 The religion of Canada is a simple one We are kind and peaceful people. We harbor no ill towards anyone. And we can achieve this state of bliss because every time a Canadian is born, a Canada Goose is born with them. The two are paired forever. For every ounce of peace and happiness a Canadian has. The Canada goose has equal hate. Anonymous 08/17/15(Mon)04:05:30 No.41920312 File: Spoiler Image (61 KB, 300x200) 41921539 Let's be honest, there is only one thing that is truly born evil in this world, one thing that exists only to beget suffering in others and eternal torment in those it's path crosses. they are simply beings of hatred IN THE BEGINNING, THE PEOPLE OF CANADA WERE AN EVIL RACE i hate you with every fiber of my being THE REASON CANADIANS ARE SO NICE IS EASILY EXPLAINED. ONCE A YEAR, ON THE SIXTH FULL MOON, ALL CANADIANS GATHER TOGETHER BENEATH THE STARS TO PERFORM A RITUAL THAT SUCKS OUT ALL OF THEIR MEANNESS AND CRUELTY ... AND PLACES IT INTO CANADA GEESE. THEN A GREAT WIZARD NAMED TIM HORTON COLLECTED ALL THEIR RAGEAND CAST IT INTO THE CANADIAN GOOSE Like Share O Comment 1 AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER EXCEPT FOR THE GEESE, THEYRESTILL P----- You know how Canadians are so nice? It's because all our negative thoughts and feelings are collected until theres enough to form a Canadian goose. That's where Canadian geese come mgilp.com A from Like Reply Just now isn't that just the plot of The Dark Crystal?

Greentext Stories
evil geese goose the dark crystal canadian religion ritual

Faster Than Dark

Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)20.50:12 No.47634656v >>47634914 #>>47634930 # >>47635129 # kronos at mars ii by macri..lpg (178 KB 1024x512) g00gle iodb So I ran a hard sci-fi game somewhat based on Peter Watt's Blindsight The short version is that the PCs, while filming a reality TV show, accidentally contacted a planet-bound alien intelligence, the first humanity had ever encountered. Things spiralled out of control from there, as the players rapidly realized the alien intelligence was much, much smarten than they were and was plaving them like a fiddle In the end, they saved the earth though, for 2 reasons ) Humans have a relatively wide limit on "acceptable tribe members" cabbages are diamagnetic I write and post the full story if people are interested. It's more of a mindfuck/existential horror story, but it was definitely scary for the players Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)21. 13 25 312 4/635348 # >>47635352 # -Camen Sandiego png| , 4096x 1912) google igdb 47634656 2108 anywhere. Incredibly hot radioactive gas A contained inside a no na Sanchez, spoiled daughter of an obscenely rich CEO. purenased a fop-of-the-line Single State 1o Ooit reuseable reentry vessel The liveable space inse ger than a standard tour bus, but the "Carmen Sandiego" can I sapphire, ness. In an atmosphere, scoop u e point armen Sandiego any gaseous ever Angelina also recruited a crew - a lealess pil ot raised on Ceres Earth, but wasn't entirely sure why nincredibly surly medic, and two l of dubious backgrounds. One was a liberated, extremely liberal number-cruncher masquerading as her editor and camera-bot. The other, housed in a repair chassis, was actually a quad-core prototype who'd Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)21:27.29 No.47635352 v >>47635514 f# Nature of Al-Copy png (109 KB, 318x314) google iadh 47635129 # The first few episodes of "Angelina's Adventures in Space!" go fairly well. Angelina isn't as dumb as she appears when the cameras are on - the crew was carefully chosen to be somewhat filmable and has always been her appearance, aided by a custom-fitted, somewhat curvaceous space suit. The rest of the crew make do with sensible ex-neo-USSR castoffs. Acticles The singutarity Is Coning Comment 104 little controversial Still the focus of her proaram Iser: alexib6) (reply) (report The ship has a Faster than Light drive, which works.. somehow, No one is entirely sure, but it's got a few rules to it, isKtally orried about ATe telteve that B0 a0 patter woat they sav, hat they're realty worried 1. You do some math involving vour ship's current mass and relative velocity to the nearest aravity well (usually a star). 2. You set a series of mechanical timers. One tells the ship when to stop falling into the aravity well in "darkspace", the other tells it when to exit darkspace, All quite complicated, but also quite manual. The timers have backups, of course, but if all 3 timers fail you might never leave jumpspace arise from matter. And I that consciousness ca If we can create a sentient being, where obes t are tumed off, save for the barest, most basi ents. Chem-lights and mechanical fans abound. ourseLves as ayting other than sachines And if we rot the endh 4. The human crew either go into suspended animation/sedation , if they're rated for it, sit in the dark and enjoy the journey Fun, isn't it? Jumpspace has a nasty habit Jump-compatible", an screwing with electronics, to the point where most Al come out the other end ins ane or non-functional, TVs flicker and spark, lights burn out, etc. The human brain also suffers. but some people are rated as etahdnscares peopte is not the artificial refore less likely to go crazy Ishow next comments1 Less likely, mind. Not "will not go crazy", It's a risk. Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)21:36.38 No.47635514 47635696# 17-Sovuz Mk 10.jpg (798 KB, 2500x2500) google iadb >47635352 # Anyway, the first jump was a mere 11.9 LY to Tau Ceti, or 3 days of time in Jumpspace. Tau Ceti Ill's timy ice/hydrogen mining colony was very happy to see a celebrity. Fadila Nazari, the medic, was very happy to see a proper bed and alcohol. get into too much trouble a derelict or badiy damaged Sovuz Mk18 dropped out of iumpspace quite near Tau Ceti Ill. Both the miners and the Carmen Sandiego's crew rushed to be the first there. Angelina wanted to look like a hero, the tere wonte sabrage Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)21:49.08 No.47635696>47635922 f 1417834936954 png (491 KB, 1280x716) google igdb 47635514 # The Soyuz was in a strange state flayed skeleton inside a space suit inside the capsule s solar panels were damaged, Enoch, the experimental model s paint was scoured or cracked the industrial repair chassis. was fascinated by the damage to the point of autistic obsession, He didn't care when the Captain discovered a hideous Eventually, they determined the crewman had died of radiation poisoning, though on a massive, horifying scale. The lack of fission byproducts meant a nuclear weapon or an engine failure was unlikely. No one was sure what could cause this kind of damage, but it was very worying. Noetic Concordance, the "producer Al, used fragmentary radiation-bunt records from the capsule leamed from the dying man's blood-flecked raving. deep space near YZ Ceti, a mere 1.6 light years from Tau Ceti. The crew decided to investigate. Some of the other records had been a distress signal from the dying pilot, although very little else could be Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)22:01:54 No 47635922 kronos 1 over satum s riipg (193 KB, 1024x1434) google iadb >47636105 f 47635696 # half, and sent drifting far from any stars, It was completely depowered and airless, Without the distress sianal from the Sovuz, it would never have , the crew discovered a twinkling wreckage field. A massive research vessel, one designed purely for deep space, had been cut. The crew boarded. and encountered after a few moments of paranoid roaming. found a survivor. The survivor was a bit odd and the crew rapidly realized was a Synthetic rsome applications. They are basical ly full-bodv prosthetics (of varying qualities) with a biglogical neural network inside. The network Synthetics were developed to replace Al have limited creative abilities Behind their trained facade no one is sure how their minds work Al were built trained, rather than programmed. Synthetics make very useful factory workers, deep-space assistants, but thew oimitate human minds, Synthetics were built to blend in Anony912 n (142 KB 1024x768) 36105 >47636272 # ch ship's Al had set the ship's jump drive to go off with a limited radius. Anything on the boundary was converted into a radiation burst that killed the rest of the crew. The synthetic had been on EVA when this happened, and escaped due to the massive distance between it and the explosion. TH But the story had a few holes in it. and as the party poked at the, the Synthetic became more and more agitated. Eventually. it tried to infect Nooetic with a virus of exceptional craftsmanship. The virus tried to convince him to vent the ship. killing all non-Synthetics., then iump back to Titan in the Sol system or so he thought). In the meantime, the Synthetic had sliced Angelina's neck with a scalpel and was trying to kill the pilot, Max. Max was a stubborm soul, and though he was thorougly bruised, he hung report Nooetic managed to isolate and defeat the attack on long enough for Fadila to bludgeon the thing to death Anonym obe ing (172 KR 1351x524) o 2 47636490 # Thew discavered an ancient hard drive inside the Sy found something interesting, but hadn't made it hetic's chest cavity. It was from the 1980s, from a Gagarin-class deep-space automated probe. The probes were designed to go out, leaping from system to system, and then retum home with what they'd collected. This one had The images showed a rocky, blasted world with one deep canyon containing a nitrogen/hydrogen atmosphere. Mesas of stone rose above the clouds, each producing an incredibly strong magnetic field. The probe clearly picked up patterned, complex radio signals. This was evidence of life, intelligent advanced lifel Evidently the Synthetic's creators had programmed in a secret mission: if evidence of intelligent life is located, destroy all other witnes ses and retun home. Its plan had gone awry, but it had still killed seven humans and forceed one Al to commit horrifving self-deletion a could from the derelict vessel, including spools of superconducting wire used to build giant deep-space radio antennas, and the completely wiped Al core. Enoch salvaged what 490 >47636675 # An Gado Probe ing (136 KB, 2048x765) google igdb 47636272 # d to head back to Earth, but Angelina Luckily the hard drive contained enough information to locate the star sted ating and contacting whatever intelligent life was out there. The Gagarin probe had been picked up by the research team's high-gain deep-space radio telescope, but it had been destroyed in the sabotage attempt The probe had visited Mir.. around 260 light vears from earth.. and at the very edge of human-explored space. It would be a marathon iourney of 56 days. but the ship was well-stocked for the trio. Alpha Centauri had trained her . He'd pretended o treat any Al that was willingly active during a On the igumey. Fadila discovered that Enoch. their 'repair Al" was still g jump as insane, homicidal, or worse, She managed to get his case open and stuck a tazer into his brain. be immobile, but she'd heard the faint sound of his cooling fans. Years of films such as "Roque Al Slaughterhouse" and "Death f four cores, rather than the one core all other Al used. He could split and reintegrate his mind at will, working as a team or s an individual without any sense of continuity loss. He was an experiment, he explained. Luckily, Enoch ran off And he had no idea if he /could be tumed off. He didn't think he'd survive. His four self-checking, reinforced cores caught any jumpspace-induced errors before they got too bad. The crew eventually believed him, but they kept him tied up in the greenhouse Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)2243:49 No.47636675>47636863 # 3-Gagarin Probe.jpg (62 KB, 1024x516) google igdb 47636490 # Mira is a binary star system. Mira A, a red giant, is slowly being pulled apart ecliptic. hydrogen gas. The world the Gagarin probe had located, with other later surveys had missed, orbited on an strange path well Mira B a high-temperature white dwarf. The inner syvstem is full t of the The Carmen Sandiego approached, trying to avoid the "magnetic tormadoes" thrown into space by the mesas. They burned off speed and spiraled down, heading for the atmosphere-containing canyon. Huge silicate mountains loomed atmosphere, and Max had to land on eyesight and guesswork either side. Radar and lidar soon failed in the electified, ion-rich Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)22:54:48 No.47636863>>47636994 # Penrose-tiling1000px-Penr...)ipg (113 KB, 600x450) google igdb 47636675 # The surface was quite strange. Clumps of platinum "grass" burst from a few cracks slightly fatter than the other n the metal-poor black stone. The only livinga creatures were small. grey insects that scuttled and clumped. They were of two sizes. one Angelina discovered the "grass" was highly charged... by touching it. Her spacesuit took most fthe damage, but she was still thoroughly surprised. Enoch was also fascinated, and spent several minutes staring the insects They are Penrose tiles." he said. "The bugs. The are forming aperiodic subsets." >47637152 # 47636994 23:03 Anonym B 694x498) 90oale igdb The crew cantured a few of the insects and Fadila dissected one. Well. she tried to dissect it it fell apart in the glovebox. The bugs weren't cellular, exactly, Metals-rich chains f catalysts marched around the metallic lavers. laving down or taking up metal. The insects contained X-ray mirror and receiver. They communicated by radio, but they didn't seem to have much electromagnets, and either the way of brains, or any reproductive system. Fadila wasn't sure if they'd evolved or been created x-ray generator A few hours later, the bugs swarmed the ship. They approached to within a few metres and fomed a ring around the vessel. Max panicked and took off, hovering on the VTOL engines >47637339 # Anonymous 06/05/16/Sun123 13:40 No 47637152 10-Landing jpa (97 KB, 2008x749) google ladb »47636994 # The insects formed images back and forth n arrow. A nice. pointed arrow like you'd find on a street sign. On Angelina's orders. Max flew the ship along, until they'd reached a large. level stone field. On landing, the insects started to form pillars, clicking and sending x-rays and While Angelina cooed and took photos, Fadila decided to try and communicate bit was very creepily done. I basically ran a convers ation with all 5 players won't o into the details in this writeup. but this t once. The best t was when Fadila. who was tvping into a terminal. said "Wait, can vou hear me?" and the bugs answered "ves" via the ship's speakers Enoch direct interfaced with the bugs via a USB 6.0 cable. Noetic tried to make friends, and thought he did a great job. Max panicked, Angelina was vapid, and Fadila was suspicious. Rightly so, as it turned out 47637493 #47640690 (You) # 06/05/16(Sun)23:25 51 dng ing (59 KB 17931416) 00ogle igdb 47637339 An >47637152 # The bugs were able to communicate. but their questions were unusual, It -for it was a sinqular entity - asked about dreams. "If you sleep, are you the same person when you wake?" "Do you dream of things that are not real?" How do you tell a dream from reality? The Millions information The mation The system crew in complexity over untold generations and evolutions but the idea was the same- information stored and accessed hy "dumb" individual podes Fventualy the information itself grew.complex enough to maninulate its comnonents and a sot of intelligence arose conquered, experimented, flouris hed and. Was conquered in turn. Other intelligent creatures arrived and pruned the bugs back to this broken canyon. As ants with aphids, so these invaders used the bugs to produce food. The enormously advanced computer system could calculate exactly how to manipulate the magnetic tomadoes. They caught protons from Mira's suns and cooled them, spinning them into tight packets. The "Eaters of Cold Protons" were not likely to be amenable to humanity's presence. They should flee. But if they helped the bugs, they would be rewarded. Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)23:36:39 No.47637493v>>47637646 #>>47637666 # 6-Camen Sandiego Interior.ipg (1.7 MB, 4256x2832) gooale iadb >47637339f The bugs would give them two things "the dream" and "the body". The body was a slightly radioactive cylinder the size of a person, made of tightly tiled bugs. The dream was a program that would be carried by the two Al, and used to awaken the body. r from the "Eaters of Cold Protons The bugs couldn't transfer itself. It couldn't turn off, or store its consciousness in an inert form, so it couldn't escape through Jumpspace. But the Carmen Sandiego could carry its offspring far, n retum, it would assist humanity, mine minerals, and teach them about the laws of physics. It promised. The group agreed. And then the Eater of Cold Protons arrived. Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)23:46:05 No.47637666>>47637872 # 9- Mira B.ipg ) google igdb >4763/49 lumpspace very low over the planet, hovering, rather than orbiting. It was a six-kilometre ring of silver, with leaf-like blades hanging below it, or behind it. It looked like a crown, or a chandelier. It dropped our A point of unimaginable brightness burned at the centre of the ring, flinging near-C protons out behind it to generate thrust. The PCs fled immediately, barely escaping into Jumspace as the Eater of Cold Protons silently pursued They were astonis hed and terrified discover, after exiting jumpspace, that it had followed them. Noetic correctly deduced that it had read his mind, or his memory banks, He'd done the math to jump them away from the star, and the results had been clearly visible... to anyone able to instantly hack his systems without him noticing Max, in a panic. punched in a random vector manual ly and briefly activated the Jump drive. Without any way of determining the exit location, the Eater of Cold Protons could not pursue. Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)23.50200 2>>47638020 # io by_golpeart d9v618q ipg (462 google iadb 47637666 # group repaired the damaged their hasty escape had caused, Enoch announced that he'd worked out how the Eater of Cold Protons "worked". A "Monopole," the eccentric Al said. "It is generating a magnetic monopole at its centre, and using it to convert protons into anti-protons, then annihilating them to generate power and thrust. Incredibly efficient and quite ive "So let me get this straight. We are being pursued by a giant sentient cyclotron?" Fadila said. much more likely," Enoch said carefully "Yes. Presumably it sees the bugs, and by extension us, as a potential threat. It will either destroy us or convert us to a useful form, and considering humanity's primitive state, annihilation air, on supplies, and on trust. The crew needed a break, and there was a deep-space research facility around 75-Ceti, 22.7 LY from their current position. The "Camen Sandiego" was low 638020 47638189 # N/ Khem7xd in(73 K0 ZE Cotl IV s cesearch station was dedicated to the alien blue-black algae. Life in any form was worth studying, so a dedicated team of 20 staff worked, from orbit and from the surface, to analyze the primordial goop. They were quite pleased when the Carmen Sandiego showed up et slip that they'd found intelligent life - and provided just enough proof to set of the station's Synthetics. They promptly went on a murderous rampage, setting off hideously bre arttacke.andaluchiesi the scienti y tried to find spare parts for their ship. But someone l As the cre retreated to one side f the station, they also realized that the sun was rising... but the sun was already visible. Quick examination revealed /three/ Eaters of Cold Protons burning through the planet's upper atmosphere towards the station. Noetic set the station's only shuttle on a blind jump, hoping to distract their pursuers, and then shut down. Enoch tried very hard not to think anything important as Max programmed in a random jump. They didn't stay behind to see the station destroyed Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon 100: 16:25 No.47638189~>>47638590f 005 hab concept final 002(...ipg (686 KB, 1920x1080) google iqdb >47638020 # The crew reasoned that the Eaters Chinese mining colony around Gliese 419 go somewhere that /wasn't on their charts,, but was still inhabited Max wracked his brain for days before settling on a rumoured f Cold Protons had read their charts and were investigating any human settlements in the area. Therefore, they needed Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon)00:37:23 No.47638590>>47638706 # adam-bum-impact.ipg (312 KB, 1500x890) google ladb >>47638189 # root out subyersive elements in the thirty three miners, via low-speed rounds to the back of the head, A stalemate had broken out on the tical upheaval. The Chinese govemment had sent five agents planet's surface, as the only orbital capable shuttle had been severely damaged. heading for the mining hase and the largast concentration of heavy metale on the planer's mbled itself into a swarm of bugs, hacked the airlock, and went off into deep space after some very rapid communication with Enoch and Noetic. It deployed a small nuclear engine and rapidly decelerating. t was at this point that Enoch realized he had been deceived. The "dream" he'd been told to hold for the bugs was just an empty process designed to trick him into thinking he was doing something useful. One of his four cores, the tazered one, was out of sync with the others and had been unaffected. Over a few minutes, Enoch waged a battle for his own mind. The bugs had manipulated him altering decisions, feeding him advice, altering perception, and even steering him away from certain topics. But he regained control of his mind Noetic, he realized, was in the same situation. Enoch quickly connected Noetic to the spare Al core they'd taken from the research vessel, and to himself. With as much haste as they could manage, they worked together to trick the bug-spawned shadow-Al. Nooetic slowed his clock speed to a crawl, while Enoch sped his up as fast as it could go. Noetic, with assistance and monitoring from Enoch, managed to trick the shadow-Al to transfer most of itself into the empty core by sending the Al suicide virus after it. Enoch then manually severed the connection. while Fadila destroved the case Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon 00:43:39 No.47638706 47639021 # TSE2010 JLD4.ipg (1.11 MB, 2486x1769) google iqdb 47638590 # or even his own mind Freed of the bugs influence, Noetic fell into a state of pure paranoia. He eventually started talking to himself, or to aspects of himself, and never again trusted anyone This was a pretty decent mindfuck for the Al plavers. d lead them around for several sessions, and they suddenly realized that l'd been manipulating them, acting as the bugs. They both out of character and in - went a little bit nuts Engch control is gested that Max look for mining worlds. Noetic had distracted Fadila when she was close to investigating the "body", and convinced the Captain to not retum immediately to earth. Basically, I'd managed to very carefully xanatos the 2 players. They Istilll refuse to play ngames where mind Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon 10 1 :02: 32 No.47639021 1257569941794 jpg (651 KB, 1440x900) google iqdb 47639068 # 47638706 # Anyway, the "body" crash-landed near the mining site and immediately started growing. The players landed, meddled, considered contaminating the area with radioactive fallout by melting down the local reactor, but decided not bother The bugs were very few in number, and probably to communica this stage. A return to earth was suggested and agreed upon. The next bit was more worldbuilding than horror I'm going to skip ahead a bit got clower still, they stopped, and were replaced with the light and x-ravs from a planet exploding. Long-range evidence suggesting something with an antimatter engine very similar to the Eaters of Cold Protons had thrown a rock at near-lightspeed at this l were from an intelligent civilization. But as it was assumed that the Eaters of Cold Protons, finding the other race to be a thre at, sent them a message. The message scoured the star system clean. ence of the Eaters of Cold Protons several vears The learned that multination gency had dis A probe l faint radio ulses froma istant star. As the probe jumped closer, it came clear th e could sleep, and experience discreet conscious ness, meaning we could survive jumpspace. Anything able to sleep and dream could deal with the random thoughts and electronic noise jumspace produced. A finely Enoch guessed that the reasons the Eaters of Cold Protons were after humanity was that tuned, highly evolved system would fall to pieces, but humans, with messy error checking, could deal with it. Therefore, we were a threat. We could expect a near-c projectile of our own shortly Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon )01:05:49 No.4/639d68 sergey-grechanyuk >47639281 )ipg x912) google iadh 7 f 224/b3 >47639021 # humanity had sent probes o search for this projectile's light-cone, the light cast off by its engines. If we located that, we could detemine how long we had before it hit. Space is big though, and it took a month before the probes located it. Secretly, (Plan A. not dealt with here, was to build a better kind of Al as humanity's successors. It went creepily) l on earth, could perform the calculations required to get a ship up to that speed Once the projectile was located, the problem was stopping it. Moving the earth sufficiently ar was ludicrous, and no Al, not even every But Angelina and her crew knew an Al who could. Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon 01:19:54 No.47639281 47639439 # KeplerSuns Planets_rowe.jpg (588 KB, 1024x1024) google igdb 47639068 # The bugs on Gliese 419 VII had heen busy They were still mining platinum and constaIcting vast networks of tunnels and mannetic towers when the PCs retumed Noetic and Enoch were very very careful about letting any data in but the most hasic black-and-white visuals and a minimal audio feed terms with the whole experience was his way of trving to come Noetic had made a terrifying discovery while... talking to himself. He'd never spoken to the bugs, not directly, They were too alien, too far removed. They'd used an interpreter. what that would say More accurately, they'd used Noetic. The bugs had copied his mind thous ands the right words and do the right things. And the f thousands of times and run tests. simulations, and plans past them, and he'd agreed to his own plan. There were a few signs- a few odd phrases, now clearly a cry for help. The bugs hadn't done it malicious l.. but Noetic was certain they didn't see hin |l in a few minutes. It had created and deleted and tortured countless copies of him until it found one it liked, on that would tens t had made him talk him: a peer Nevertheless, the bugs agreed to help. The alien seemed shocked that humanity would come it it for /helpl, but had leamed humanity's tolerance for peers was remarkably high. Humans accepted pets and gave them human traits. They spoke to inanimate, non-sentient objects with fondness. In essence they were dumb enough to treat a potential predator as a friend. And the bugs could use that. If they were ever going to be free of the Eaters of Cold Protons, they needed someone to carry them between the stars. Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon 01:32:18 No.47639439 >47639480 # hs-2010-07-a-print.ipg (656 KB. 3000x2400) google igdb 7639281 The b gave the group the inputs required to catch the incoming projectile. Due to time dilation, they'd have only hours to somehow redirect the projectile. It was n unlikely mission, but they were the only ones in a position to even try diameter. Its prow fired lasers to clear They exited Jumpspace to dilated, confused stars and a looming obsidian asteroid twenty kilometers long and five kilometers path dust and debris while stern still bumed protons to accelerate it faster. The entire structure was carved of pure black stone. but covered in tiny lines. like a record. When converted into radio waves, they turned out to be transmissions -human trans missions.. Old TV programs, recent updates on shipping. Eaters of Cold Protons were throwing our words back at us. Il jumbled together in a branching latticework. The As Enoch and Max evaded the asteroid's defenses (an oozing black oil-like metal-eating slime), Angelina and Noetic worked out a plan. They'd use the jump drive to carry the entire asteroid out of the way of the earth. Even a few seconds in jumps pace would be enough to throw it wide of the planet. They had only minutes to act though. the prow, but they needed to get another cable onto the cyclotron Noetic and Enoch tore open the ship and hooked up the superconducting cables to the jump drive. The entire asteroid had an electrical gradient to power the lasers. One end was hooked as close as they could manage the stern The magnetic flelds near it were simply too powerful, and any human or Al who got close would die before they reached it. the cable, and helped Angelina But Noetic realized that, if he filled a spare space suit with cabbages, the paraferro and diamagnetic forces acting on the suit could cancel each other out, in theory. He carefully removed the last of their battered, well-traveled cabbages from the greenhouse, wrapped the suit toss it. Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon)01:35:28 No.47639480 1462477998950 pg (156 KB, 1920x829) google jgdb 47640424 # 47639439 # The plan worked. The jump drive took in the power required to build a 20km jump field and hauled them all into jumpspace. They emerged, safely, a few moments later But sadly, Qur story ends here. While the bugs gave the group calculations to get them to the asteroid in a single jump, it would take many, many months or years to slow down enough to return to the earth, With time dilation, centuries might pass. With the bugs influence growing, the rise of non-sanient Al and the risk of the Eaters of Cold Protons firing a second shot the world they'd return Would no doubt be very different THE END
Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)20.50:12 No.47634656v >>47634914 #>>47634930 # >>47635129 # kronos at mars ii by macri..lpg (178 KB 1024x512) g00gle iodb So I ran a hard sci-fi game somewhat based on Peter Watt's Blindsight The short version is that the PCs, while filming a reality TV show, accidentally contacted a planet-bound alien intelligence, the first humanity had ever encountered. Things spiralled out of control from there, as the players rapidly realized the alien intelligence was much, much smarten than they were and was plaving them like a fiddle In the end, they saved the earth though, for 2 reasons ) Humans have a relatively wide limit on "acceptable tribe members" cabbages are diamagnetic I write and post the full story if people are interested. It's more of a mindfuck/existential horror story, but it was definitely scary for the players Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)21. 13 25 312 4/635348 # >>47635352 # -Camen Sandiego png| , 4096x 1912) google igdb 47634656 2108 anywhere. Incredibly hot radioactive gas A contained inside a no na Sanchez, spoiled daughter of an obscenely rich CEO. purenased a fop-of-the-line Single State 1o Ooit reuseable reentry vessel The liveable space inse ger than a standard tour bus, but the "Carmen Sandiego" can I sapphire, ness. In an atmosphere, scoop u e point armen Sandiego any gaseous ever Angelina also recruited a crew - a lealess pil ot raised on Ceres Earth, but wasn't entirely sure why nincredibly surly medic, and two l of dubious backgrounds. One was a liberated, extremely liberal number-cruncher masquerading as her editor and camera-bot. The other, housed in a repair chassis, was actually a quad-core prototype who'd Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)21:27.29 No.47635352 v >>47635514 f# Nature of Al-Copy png (109 KB, 318x314) google iadh 47635129 # The first few episodes of "Angelina's Adventures in Space!" go fairly well. Angelina isn't as dumb as she appears when the cameras are on - the crew was carefully chosen to be somewhat filmable and has always been her appearance, aided by a custom-fitted, somewhat curvaceous space suit. The rest of the crew make do with sensible ex-neo-USSR castoffs. Acticles The singutarity Is Coning Comment 104 little controversial Still the focus of her proaram Iser: alexib6) (reply) (report The ship has a Faster than Light drive, which works.. somehow, No one is entirely sure, but it's got a few rules to it, isKtally orried about ATe telteve that B0 a0 patter woat they sav, hat they're realty worried 1. You do some math involving vour ship's current mass and relative velocity to the nearest aravity well (usually a star). 2. You set a series of mechanical timers. One tells the ship when to stop falling into the aravity well in "darkspace", the other tells it when to exit darkspace, All quite complicated, but also quite manual. The timers have backups, of course, but if all 3 timers fail you might never leave jumpspace arise from matter. And I that consciousness ca If we can create a sentient being, where obes t are tumed off, save for the barest, most basi ents. Chem-lights and mechanical fans abound. ourseLves as ayting other than sachines And if we rot the endh 4. The human crew either go into suspended animation/sedation , if they're rated for it, sit in the dark and enjoy the journey Fun, isn't it? Jumpspace has a nasty habit Jump-compatible", an screwing with electronics, to the point where most Al come out the other end ins ane or non-functional, TVs flicker and spark, lights burn out, etc. The human brain also suffers. but some people are rated as etahdnscares peopte is not the artificial refore less likely to go crazy Ishow next comments1 Less likely, mind. Not "will not go crazy", It's a risk. Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)21:36.38 No.47635514 47635696# 17-Sovuz Mk 10.jpg (798 KB, 2500x2500) google iadb >47635352 # Anyway, the first jump was a mere 11.9 LY to Tau Ceti, or 3 days of time in Jumpspace. Tau Ceti Ill's timy ice/hydrogen mining colony was very happy to see a celebrity. Fadila Nazari, the medic, was very happy to see a proper bed and alcohol. get into too much trouble a derelict or badiy damaged Sovuz Mk18 dropped out of iumpspace quite near Tau Ceti Ill. Both the miners and the Carmen Sandiego's crew rushed to be the first there. Angelina wanted to look like a hero, the tere wonte sabrage Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)21:49.08 No.47635696>47635922 f 1417834936954 png (491 KB, 1280x716) google igdb 47635514 # The Soyuz was in a strange state flayed skeleton inside a space suit inside the capsule s solar panels were damaged, Enoch, the experimental model s paint was scoured or cracked the industrial repair chassis. was fascinated by the damage to the point of autistic obsession, He didn't care when the Captain discovered a hideous Eventually, they determined the crewman had died of radiation poisoning, though on a massive, horifying scale. The lack of fission byproducts meant a nuclear weapon or an engine failure was unlikely. No one was sure what could cause this kind of damage, but it was very worying. Noetic Concordance, the "producer Al, used fragmentary radiation-bunt records from the capsule leamed from the dying man's blood-flecked raving. deep space near YZ Ceti, a mere 1.6 light years from Tau Ceti. The crew decided to investigate. Some of the other records had been a distress signal from the dying pilot, although very little else could be Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)22:01:54 No 47635922 kronos 1 over satum s riipg (193 KB, 1024x1434) google iadb >47636105 f 47635696 # half, and sent drifting far from any stars, It was completely depowered and airless, Without the distress sianal from the Sovuz, it would never have , the crew discovered a twinkling wreckage field. A massive research vessel, one designed purely for deep space, had been cut. The crew boarded. and encountered after a few moments of paranoid roaming. found a survivor. The survivor was a bit odd and the crew rapidly realized was a Synthetic rsome applications. They are basical ly full-bodv prosthetics (of varying qualities) with a biglogical neural network inside. The network Synthetics were developed to replace Al have limited creative abilities Behind their trained facade no one is sure how their minds work Al were built trained, rather than programmed. Synthetics make very useful factory workers, deep-space assistants, but thew oimitate human minds, Synthetics were built to blend in Anony912 n (142 KB 1024x768) 36105 >47636272 # ch ship's Al had set the ship's jump drive to go off with a limited radius. Anything on the boundary was converted into a radiation burst that killed the rest of the crew. The synthetic had been on EVA when this happened, and escaped due to the massive distance between it and the explosion. TH But the story had a few holes in it. and as the party poked at the, the Synthetic became more and more agitated. Eventually. it tried to infect Nooetic with a virus of exceptional craftsmanship. The virus tried to convince him to vent the ship. killing all non-Synthetics., then iump back to Titan in the Sol system or so he thought). In the meantime, the Synthetic had sliced Angelina's neck with a scalpel and was trying to kill the pilot, Max. Max was a stubborm soul, and though he was thorougly bruised, he hung report Nooetic managed to isolate and defeat the attack on long enough for Fadila to bludgeon the thing to death Anonym obe ing (172 KR 1351x524) o 2 47636490 # Thew discavered an ancient hard drive inside the Sy found something interesting, but hadn't made it hetic's chest cavity. It was from the 1980s, from a Gagarin-class deep-space automated probe. The probes were designed to go out, leaping from system to system, and then retum home with what they'd collected. This one had The images showed a rocky, blasted world with one deep canyon containing a nitrogen/hydrogen atmosphere. Mesas of stone rose above the clouds, each producing an incredibly strong magnetic field. The probe clearly picked up patterned, complex radio signals. This was evidence of life, intelligent advanced lifel Evidently the Synthetic's creators had programmed in a secret mission: if evidence of intelligent life is located, destroy all other witnes ses and retun home. Its plan had gone awry, but it had still killed seven humans and forceed one Al to commit horrifving self-deletion a could from the derelict vessel, including spools of superconducting wire used to build giant deep-space radio antennas, and the completely wiped Al core. Enoch salvaged what 490 >47636675 # An Gado Probe ing (136 KB, 2048x765) google igdb 47636272 # d to head back to Earth, but Angelina Luckily the hard drive contained enough information to locate the star sted ating and contacting whatever intelligent life was out there. The Gagarin probe had been picked up by the research team's high-gain deep-space radio telescope, but it had been destroyed in the sabotage attempt The probe had visited Mir.. around 260 light vears from earth.. and at the very edge of human-explored space. It would be a marathon iourney of 56 days. but the ship was well-stocked for the trio. Alpha Centauri had trained her . He'd pretended o treat any Al that was willingly active during a On the igumey. Fadila discovered that Enoch. their 'repair Al" was still g jump as insane, homicidal, or worse, She managed to get his case open and stuck a tazer into his brain. be immobile, but she'd heard the faint sound of his cooling fans. Years of films such as "Roque Al Slaughterhouse" and "Death f four cores, rather than the one core all other Al used. He could split and reintegrate his mind at will, working as a team or s an individual without any sense of continuity loss. He was an experiment, he explained. Luckily, Enoch ran off And he had no idea if he /could be tumed off. He didn't think he'd survive. His four self-checking, reinforced cores caught any jumpspace-induced errors before they got too bad. The crew eventually believed him, but they kept him tied up in the greenhouse Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)2243:49 No.47636675>47636863 # 3-Gagarin Probe.jpg (62 KB, 1024x516) google igdb 47636490 # Mira is a binary star system. Mira A, a red giant, is slowly being pulled apart ecliptic. hydrogen gas. The world the Gagarin probe had located, with other later surveys had missed, orbited on an strange path well Mira B a high-temperature white dwarf. The inner syvstem is full t of the The Carmen Sandiego approached, trying to avoid the "magnetic tormadoes" thrown into space by the mesas. They burned off speed and spiraled down, heading for the atmosphere-containing canyon. Huge silicate mountains loomed atmosphere, and Max had to land on eyesight and guesswork either side. Radar and lidar soon failed in the electified, ion-rich Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)22:54:48 No.47636863>>47636994 # Penrose-tiling1000px-Penr...)ipg (113 KB, 600x450) google igdb 47636675 # The surface was quite strange. Clumps of platinum "grass" burst from a few cracks slightly fatter than the other n the metal-poor black stone. The only livinga creatures were small. grey insects that scuttled and clumped. They were of two sizes. one Angelina discovered the "grass" was highly charged... by touching it. Her spacesuit took most fthe damage, but she was still thoroughly surprised. Enoch was also fascinated, and spent several minutes staring the insects They are Penrose tiles." he said. "The bugs. The are forming aperiodic subsets." >47637152 # 47636994 23:03 Anonym B 694x498) 90oale igdb The crew cantured a few of the insects and Fadila dissected one. Well. she tried to dissect it it fell apart in the glovebox. The bugs weren't cellular, exactly, Metals-rich chains f catalysts marched around the metallic lavers. laving down or taking up metal. The insects contained X-ray mirror and receiver. They communicated by radio, but they didn't seem to have much electromagnets, and either the way of brains, or any reproductive system. Fadila wasn't sure if they'd evolved or been created x-ray generator A few hours later, the bugs swarmed the ship. They approached to within a few metres and fomed a ring around the vessel. Max panicked and took off, hovering on the VTOL engines >47637339 # Anonymous 06/05/16/Sun123 13:40 No 47637152 10-Landing jpa (97 KB, 2008x749) google ladb »47636994 # The insects formed images back and forth n arrow. A nice. pointed arrow like you'd find on a street sign. On Angelina's orders. Max flew the ship along, until they'd reached a large. level stone field. On landing, the insects started to form pillars, clicking and sending x-rays and While Angelina cooed and took photos, Fadila decided to try and communicate bit was very creepily done. I basically ran a convers ation with all 5 players won't o into the details in this writeup. but this t once. The best t was when Fadila. who was tvping into a terminal. said "Wait, can vou hear me?" and the bugs answered "ves" via the ship's speakers Enoch direct interfaced with the bugs via a USB 6.0 cable. Noetic tried to make friends, and thought he did a great job. Max panicked, Angelina was vapid, and Fadila was suspicious. Rightly so, as it turned out 47637493 #47640690 (You) # 06/05/16(Sun)23:25 51 dng ing (59 KB 17931416) 00ogle igdb 47637339 An >47637152 # The bugs were able to communicate. but their questions were unusual, It -for it was a sinqular entity - asked about dreams. "If you sleep, are you the same person when you wake?" "Do you dream of things that are not real?" How do you tell a dream from reality? The Millions information The mation The system crew in complexity over untold generations and evolutions but the idea was the same- information stored and accessed hy "dumb" individual podes Fventualy the information itself grew.complex enough to maninulate its comnonents and a sot of intelligence arose conquered, experimented, flouris hed and. Was conquered in turn. Other intelligent creatures arrived and pruned the bugs back to this broken canyon. As ants with aphids, so these invaders used the bugs to produce food. The enormously advanced computer system could calculate exactly how to manipulate the magnetic tomadoes. They caught protons from Mira's suns and cooled them, spinning them into tight packets. The "Eaters of Cold Protons" were not likely to be amenable to humanity's presence. They should flee. But if they helped the bugs, they would be rewarded. Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)23:36:39 No.47637493v>>47637646 #>>47637666 # 6-Camen Sandiego Interior.ipg (1.7 MB, 4256x2832) gooale iadb >47637339f The bugs would give them two things "the dream" and "the body". The body was a slightly radioactive cylinder the size of a person, made of tightly tiled bugs. The dream was a program that would be carried by the two Al, and used to awaken the body. r from the "Eaters of Cold Protons The bugs couldn't transfer itself. It couldn't turn off, or store its consciousness in an inert form, so it couldn't escape through Jumpspace. But the Carmen Sandiego could carry its offspring far, n retum, it would assist humanity, mine minerals, and teach them about the laws of physics. It promised. The group agreed. And then the Eater of Cold Protons arrived. Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)23:46:05 No.47637666>>47637872 # 9- Mira B.ipg ) google igdb >4763/49 lumpspace very low over the planet, hovering, rather than orbiting. It was a six-kilometre ring of silver, with leaf-like blades hanging below it, or behind it. It looked like a crown, or a chandelier. It dropped our A point of unimaginable brightness burned at the centre of the ring, flinging near-C protons out behind it to generate thrust. The PCs fled immediately, barely escaping into Jumspace as the Eater of Cold Protons silently pursued They were astonis hed and terrified discover, after exiting jumpspace, that it had followed them. Noetic correctly deduced that it had read his mind, or his memory banks, He'd done the math to jump them away from the star, and the results had been clearly visible... to anyone able to instantly hack his systems without him noticing Max, in a panic. punched in a random vector manual ly and briefly activated the Jump drive. Without any way of determining the exit location, the Eater of Cold Protons could not pursue. Anonymous 06/05/16(Sun)23.50200 2>>47638020 # io by_golpeart d9v618q ipg (462 google iadb 47637666 # group repaired the damaged their hasty escape had caused, Enoch announced that he'd worked out how the Eater of Cold Protons "worked". A "Monopole," the eccentric Al said. "It is generating a magnetic monopole at its centre, and using it to convert protons into anti-protons, then annihilating them to generate power and thrust. Incredibly efficient and quite ive "So let me get this straight. We are being pursued by a giant sentient cyclotron?" Fadila said. much more likely," Enoch said carefully "Yes. Presumably it sees the bugs, and by extension us, as a potential threat. It will either destroy us or convert us to a useful form, and considering humanity's primitive state, annihilation air, on supplies, and on trust. The crew needed a break, and there was a deep-space research facility around 75-Ceti, 22.7 LY from their current position. The "Camen Sandiego" was low 638020 47638189 # N/ Khem7xd in(73 K0 ZE Cotl IV s cesearch station was dedicated to the alien blue-black algae. Life in any form was worth studying, so a dedicated team of 20 staff worked, from orbit and from the surface, to analyze the primordial goop. They were quite pleased when the Carmen Sandiego showed up et slip that they'd found intelligent life - and provided just enough proof to set of the station's Synthetics. They promptly went on a murderous rampage, setting off hideously bre arttacke.andaluchiesi the scienti y tried to find spare parts for their ship. But someone l As the cre retreated to one side f the station, they also realized that the sun was rising... but the sun was already visible. Quick examination revealed /three/ Eaters of Cold Protons burning through the planet's upper atmosphere towards the station. Noetic set the station's only shuttle on a blind jump, hoping to distract their pursuers, and then shut down. Enoch tried very hard not to think anything important as Max programmed in a random jump. They didn't stay behind to see the station destroyed Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon 100: 16:25 No.47638189~>>47638590f 005 hab concept final 002(...ipg (686 KB, 1920x1080) google iqdb >47638020 # The crew reasoned that the Eaters Chinese mining colony around Gliese 419 go somewhere that /wasn't on their charts,, but was still inhabited Max wracked his brain for days before settling on a rumoured f Cold Protons had read their charts and were investigating any human settlements in the area. Therefore, they needed Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon)00:37:23 No.47638590>>47638706 # adam-bum-impact.ipg (312 KB, 1500x890) google ladb >>47638189 # root out subyersive elements in the thirty three miners, via low-speed rounds to the back of the head, A stalemate had broken out on the tical upheaval. The Chinese govemment had sent five agents planet's surface, as the only orbital capable shuttle had been severely damaged. heading for the mining hase and the largast concentration of heavy metale on the planer's mbled itself into a swarm of bugs, hacked the airlock, and went off into deep space after some very rapid communication with Enoch and Noetic. It deployed a small nuclear engine and rapidly decelerating. t was at this point that Enoch realized he had been deceived. The "dream" he'd been told to hold for the bugs was just an empty process designed to trick him into thinking he was doing something useful. One of his four cores, the tazered one, was out of sync with the others and had been unaffected. Over a few minutes, Enoch waged a battle for his own mind. The bugs had manipulated him altering decisions, feeding him advice, altering perception, and even steering him away from certain topics. But he regained control of his mind Noetic, he realized, was in the same situation. Enoch quickly connected Noetic to the spare Al core they'd taken from the research vessel, and to himself. With as much haste as they could manage, they worked together to trick the bug-spawned shadow-Al. Nooetic slowed his clock speed to a crawl, while Enoch sped his up as fast as it could go. Noetic, with assistance and monitoring from Enoch, managed to trick the shadow-Al to transfer most of itself into the empty core by sending the Al suicide virus after it. Enoch then manually severed the connection. while Fadila destroved the case Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon 00:43:39 No.47638706 47639021 # TSE2010 JLD4.ipg (1.11 MB, 2486x1769) google iqdb 47638590 # or even his own mind Freed of the bugs influence, Noetic fell into a state of pure paranoia. He eventually started talking to himself, or to aspects of himself, and never again trusted anyone This was a pretty decent mindfuck for the Al plavers. d lead them around for several sessions, and they suddenly realized that l'd been manipulating them, acting as the bugs. They both out of character and in - went a little bit nuts Engch control is gested that Max look for mining worlds. Noetic had distracted Fadila when she was close to investigating the "body", and convinced the Captain to not retum immediately to earth. Basically, I'd managed to very carefully xanatos the 2 players. They Istilll refuse to play ngames where mind Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon 10 1 :02: 32 No.47639021 1257569941794 jpg (651 KB, 1440x900) google iqdb 47639068 # 47638706 # Anyway, the "body" crash-landed near the mining site and immediately started growing. The players landed, meddled, considered contaminating the area with radioactive fallout by melting down the local reactor, but decided not bother The bugs were very few in number, and probably to communica this stage. A return to earth was suggested and agreed upon. The next bit was more worldbuilding than horror I'm going to skip ahead a bit got clower still, they stopped, and were replaced with the light and x-ravs from a planet exploding. Long-range evidence suggesting something with an antimatter engine very similar to the Eaters of Cold Protons had thrown a rock at near-lightspeed at this l were from an intelligent civilization. But as it was assumed that the Eaters of Cold Protons, finding the other race to be a thre at, sent them a message. The message scoured the star system clean. ence of the Eaters of Cold Protons several vears The learned that multination gency had dis A probe l faint radio ulses froma istant star. As the probe jumped closer, it came clear th e could sleep, and experience discreet conscious ness, meaning we could survive jumpspace. Anything able to sleep and dream could deal with the random thoughts and electronic noise jumspace produced. A finely Enoch guessed that the reasons the Eaters of Cold Protons were after humanity was that tuned, highly evolved system would fall to pieces, but humans, with messy error checking, could deal with it. Therefore, we were a threat. We could expect a near-c projectile of our own shortly Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon )01:05:49 No.4/639d68 sergey-grechanyuk >47639281 )ipg x912) google iadh 7 f 224/b3 >47639021 # humanity had sent probes o search for this projectile's light-cone, the light cast off by its engines. If we located that, we could detemine how long we had before it hit. Space is big though, and it took a month before the probes located it. Secretly, (Plan A. not dealt with here, was to build a better kind of Al as humanity's successors. It went creepily) l on earth, could perform the calculations required to get a ship up to that speed Once the projectile was located, the problem was stopping it. Moving the earth sufficiently ar was ludicrous, and no Al, not even every But Angelina and her crew knew an Al who could. Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon 01:19:54 No.47639281 47639439 # KeplerSuns Planets_rowe.jpg (588 KB, 1024x1024) google igdb 47639068 # The bugs on Gliese 419 VII had heen busy They were still mining platinum and constaIcting vast networks of tunnels and mannetic towers when the PCs retumed Noetic and Enoch were very very careful about letting any data in but the most hasic black-and-white visuals and a minimal audio feed terms with the whole experience was his way of trving to come Noetic had made a terrifying discovery while... talking to himself. He'd never spoken to the bugs, not directly, They were too alien, too far removed. They'd used an interpreter. what that would say More accurately, they'd used Noetic. The bugs had copied his mind thous ands the right words and do the right things. And the f thousands of times and run tests. simulations, and plans past them, and he'd agreed to his own plan. There were a few signs- a few odd phrases, now clearly a cry for help. The bugs hadn't done it malicious l.. but Noetic was certain they didn't see hin |l in a few minutes. It had created and deleted and tortured countless copies of him until it found one it liked, on that would tens t had made him talk him: a peer Nevertheless, the bugs agreed to help. The alien seemed shocked that humanity would come it it for /helpl, but had leamed humanity's tolerance for peers was remarkably high. Humans accepted pets and gave them human traits. They spoke to inanimate, non-sentient objects with fondness. In essence they were dumb enough to treat a potential predator as a friend. And the bugs could use that. If they were ever going to be free of the Eaters of Cold Protons, they needed someone to carry them between the stars. Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon 01:32:18 No.47639439 >47639480 # hs-2010-07-a-print.ipg (656 KB. 3000x2400) google igdb 7639281 The b gave the group the inputs required to catch the incoming projectile. Due to time dilation, they'd have only hours to somehow redirect the projectile. It was n unlikely mission, but they were the only ones in a position to even try diameter. Its prow fired lasers to clear They exited Jumpspace to dilated, confused stars and a looming obsidian asteroid twenty kilometers long and five kilometers path dust and debris while stern still bumed protons to accelerate it faster. The entire structure was carved of pure black stone. but covered in tiny lines. like a record. When converted into radio waves, they turned out to be transmissions -human trans missions.. Old TV programs, recent updates on shipping. Eaters of Cold Protons were throwing our words back at us. Il jumbled together in a branching latticework. The As Enoch and Max evaded the asteroid's defenses (an oozing black oil-like metal-eating slime), Angelina and Noetic worked out a plan. They'd use the jump drive to carry the entire asteroid out of the way of the earth. Even a few seconds in jumps pace would be enough to throw it wide of the planet. They had only minutes to act though. the prow, but they needed to get another cable onto the cyclotron Noetic and Enoch tore open the ship and hooked up the superconducting cables to the jump drive. The entire asteroid had an electrical gradient to power the lasers. One end was hooked as close as they could manage the stern The magnetic flelds near it were simply too powerful, and any human or Al who got close would die before they reached it. the cable, and helped Angelina But Noetic realized that, if he filled a spare space suit with cabbages, the paraferro and diamagnetic forces acting on the suit could cancel each other out, in theory. He carefully removed the last of their battered, well-traveled cabbages from the greenhouse, wrapped the suit toss it. Anonymous 06/06/16(Mon)01:35:28 No.47639480 1462477998950 pg (156 KB, 1920x829) google jgdb 47640424 # 47639439 # The plan worked. The jump drive took in the power required to build a 20km jump field and hauled them all into jumpspace. They emerged, safely, a few moments later But sadly, Qur story ends here. While the bugs gave the group calculations to get them to the asteroid in a single jump, it would take many, many months or years to slow down enough to return to the earth, With time dilation, centuries might pass. With the bugs influence growing, the rise of non-sanient Al and the risk of the Eaters of Cold Protons firing a second shot the world they'd return Would no doubt be very different THE END

Greentext Stories
/tg/ game scifi blindsight peter watts carmen sandiego

Martian Horror

well,Ruck Tas) (MrMds C Noe, I'n at. Phut
well,Ruck Tas) (MrMds C Noe, I'n at. Phut

Greentext Stories
call of cthulhu horror mars space exploration

scientists vs engineers and the em drive

11/01/15(Sun)13:23:33 No.7630567 Anonymous >>7630452 # WHO CARES HOW IT WORKS! JUST F------ TRY IT IN SPACE! I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HAD THE MONEY ID PAY FOR THE ROCKET. F------ SCIENTISTS HOLDING BACK ENGINEERING WITH THEIR AUTISTIC DESIRE TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING. THE STEAM ENGINE WAS INVENTED 100 YEARS BEFORE THE RANKINE CYCLE WAS WORKED OUT >>7630593 # >>7630595 # >>7630620 # >>7630676 # >>7630735 Anonymous 05/18/15(Mon)19:34:37 No.7269937 7289941>7269948>>7289970 All I want to know is whether or not my microwave has thrust
11/01/15(Sun)13:23:33 No.7630567 Anonymous >>7630452 # WHO CARES HOW IT WORKS! JUST F------ TRY IT IN SPACE! I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HAD THE MONEY ID PAY FOR THE ROCKET. F------ SCIENTISTS HOLDING BACK ENGINEERING WITH THEIR AUTISTIC DESIRE TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING. THE STEAM ENGINE WAS INVENTED 100 YEARS BEFORE THE RANKINE CYCLE WAS WORKED OUT >>7630593 # >>7630595 # >>7630620 # >>7630676 # >>7630735 Anonymous 05/18/15(Mon)19:34:37 No.7269937 7289941>7269948>>7289970 All I want to know is whether or not my microwave has thrust

Greentext Stories
greentext /sci/ does my microwave have thrust

Snail Has a Message

05/26/19(Sun)23:13:20 No.3034971 Anonymous >*CRUNCH* >AGGGGHHHHHHH! F---! >Its f------ smashed, isnt it? >So this is it huh, this is how it all ends? >Hey hey its okay buddy, its okay >*gurgles* 54 KB JPG >lts night time, you couldnt see me >l get it >*sputter* >l had a good run, you know? >You might not think it but we snails live on the edge >*begins bubbling* >You havent lived until youve slid across a soaking wet sidewalk at 1am >l knew the risks >It was more than worth it >*bubbles uncontrollably* >You never know who's gonna come walking out that door, thats why we do it >l died doing what I loved, thats more than what most of you can say >begins leaking fluids* >At least I wasnt pecked apart by some f------ bird, right? >*eyes retract* >T-tell the slugs >*emits green bubbles* >Theyre f---
05/26/19(Sun)23:13:20 No.3034971 Anonymous >*CRUNCH* >AGGGGHHHHHHH! F---! >Its f------ smashed, isnt it? >So this is it huh, this is how it all ends? >Hey hey its okay buddy, its okay >*gurgles* 54 KB JPG >lts night time, you couldnt see me >l get it >*sputter* >l had a good run, you know? >You might not think it but we snails live on the edge >*begins bubbling* >You havent lived until youve slid across a soaking wet sidewalk at 1am >l knew the risks >It was more than worth it >*bubbles uncontrollably* >You never know who's gonna come walking out that door, thats why we do it >l died doing what I loved, thats more than what most of you can say >begins leaking fluids* >At least I wasnt pecked apart by some f------ bird, right? >*eyes retract* >T-tell the slugs >*emits green bubbles* >Theyre f---

Greentext Stories
greentext 4chan snail

Feels greentext


Greentext Stories
greentext wojak 4chan feels

anon.plays.kof.png

Anonymous 05/05/19(Sun)13:35:07 No.252295676252295717 33252295915 File: unnamed.ipg (44 KB, 900x900) >a few hundred players are enough for a fighting game, it's only 1v1 after all >download it ranked matchmaking is dead >go to lobbies there is only one lobby with an acceptable ping, the rest is Brazilians the guy is a veteran, rapes me and quits suninstall it and never go back again
Anonymous 05/05/19(Sun)13:35:07 No.252295676252295717 33252295915 File: unnamed.ipg (44 KB, 900x900) >a few hundred players are enough for a fighting game, it's only 1v1 after all >download it ranked matchmaking is dead >go to lobbies there is only one lobby with an acceptable ping, the rest is Brazilians the guy is a veteran, rapes me and quits suninstall it and never go back again

Greentext Stories
ricardo milos fighting games discord brazil no credit to op no credit to anon

Ah yes

773592874 Anonymous 22 minutes ago 20180706_023529.jpg (236.7 KB, 700x700) be me have half j-- friend try to relate to him by telling him about the anime I watch >doesn't watch anime calls me a weeaboo Back to the drawing board lads. 3 REPLIES OIMAGES
773592874 Anonymous 22 minutes ago 20180706_023529.jpg (236.7 KB, 700x700) be me have half j-- friend try to relate to him by telling him about the anime I watch >doesn't watch anime calls me a weeaboo Back to the drawing board lads. 3 REPLIES OIMAGES

Greentext Stories
weeaboo anime 4chan

Anon discovers his sexuality

Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at we have to move a bunch of boxes 229 KB PNG >I pick one up, trip and fall "don't be such a silly little boy" Sinstant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 34 Replies /5 Images View Thread
Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at we have to move a bunch of boxes 229 KB PNG >I pick one up, trip and fall "don't be such a silly little boy" Sinstant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 34 Replies /5 Images View Thread

Greentext Stories
gay anon

Anon Is a Snitch

: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 NO.94842283 >be me >beta jeww >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in Our area >smart, charismatic, basically a 191 KB JPG >start to get p----- off and jealous of him find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together he savs he knows there's a snitch in the friend group oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty w-- feel really guilty and try to return my reward cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god mfw i snitched on god
: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 NO.94842283 >be me >beta jeww >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in Our area >smart, charismatic, basically a 191 KB JPG >start to get p----- off and jealous of him find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together he savs he knows there's a snitch in the friend group oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty w-- feel really guilty and try to return my reward cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god mfw i snitched on god

Greentext Stories
greentext jew judas jesus bamboozle

Kobold Religion

Anonymous 11/09/10 (Tue)07:21 No.12735703 I just had a strange image. Four deities are gathered around a table; Dorf god of blacksmithing and love; Elf god of archery and poetry; human god of war and merchants; kobold's only deity Human deity: >My people can be inspired by a blast of lightning or an enchanted sword, which will guide them to forge new worlds out of respect. Their strengths are versatility and stamina. When I meet them in the afterlife, I judge them by their deeds and the worthy may live in my kingdom. >My people can be inspired by a voice from the depths or a large jewel, which will guide them to create a lasting culture of wisdom. Their strengths are tradition and prowess. In the afterlife, I judge them by their Dorf god thoughts, and allow the purest to join my mines into eternity Elf god >My people can be inspired by a beautiful waterfall or a strong-yet-flexible metal. Their strengths are artistic talent and all things longbow. When they die, I judge them by their contribution to their people and allow the most pleasing to forever roam my forest The kobold goddess, she smiles softly and says >My people can be inspired by a tragedy or mishap. Their strengths are fast breeding and skills with ambushes. When they die, I do not judge them and give each one but a single hug before I let them choose how to spend their afterlife Each deity looks to the kobold goddess and says >But, why only a hug for each one? She smiles broadly, proud as she replies >Because I have so many children and I can not be bothered with judging them, nor so selective with whom is allowed to join me To be a kobold is to be unloved in this life. but in the afterlife, it is to be hugged by your creator and told it was all worth it And you wondered why they were so motivated Anonymous 11/09/10 (Tue)07:23 No.12735711 >12735703 his is now canon in my setting
Anonymous 11/09/10 (Tue)07:21 No.12735703 I just had a strange image. Four deities are gathered around a table; Dorf god of blacksmithing and love; Elf god of archery and poetry; human god of war and merchants; kobold's only deity Human deity: >My people can be inspired by a blast of lightning or an enchanted sword, which will guide them to forge new worlds out of respect. Their strengths are versatility and stamina. When I meet them in the afterlife, I judge them by their deeds and the worthy may live in my kingdom. >My people can be inspired by a voice from the depths or a large jewel, which will guide them to create a lasting culture of wisdom. Their strengths are tradition and prowess. In the afterlife, I judge them by their Dorf god thoughts, and allow the purest to join my mines into eternity Elf god >My people can be inspired by a beautiful waterfall or a strong-yet-flexible metal. Their strengths are artistic talent and all things longbow. When they die, I judge them by their contribution to their people and allow the most pleasing to forever roam my forest The kobold goddess, she smiles softly and says >My people can be inspired by a tragedy or mishap. Their strengths are fast breeding and skills with ambushes. When they die, I do not judge them and give each one but a single hug before I let them choose how to spend their afterlife Each deity looks to the kobold goddess and says >But, why only a hug for each one? She smiles broadly, proud as she replies >Because I have so many children and I can not be bothered with judging them, nor so selective with whom is allowed to join me To be a kobold is to be unloved in this life. but in the afterlife, it is to be hugged by your creator and told it was all worth it And you wondered why they were so motivated Anonymous 11/09/10 (Tue)07:23 No.12735711 >12735703 his is now canon in my setting

Greentext Stories
/tg/ kobolds religion goddess hugs afterlife adorable wholesome

/co/ versus the yeerks

Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)00:19 No.54030751 Replies: 54030921 54030972 File: 1378959552940.gif-(1.77 MB, 173x166, 1367281444779.gif) GI 54031664 54030608 mfw /most of /co/ would be able to drive their Yeerks crazy by constantly whining and rattling orn about the most inane s--- >My feet hurt >I want to fap >I'm hungry >This invasion plan is stupid Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)00:50 No.54031664 Replies: 54031697540320532 54032400 54030751 >New 52 is s--- and here's a dissertation why >Remember that show from the 90's? Let's talk about it for hours. >What was your first cartoon boner? Rate my waifu chart >Why is she so perfect, /co/? >Korra-Whorra >F--- Marry Kill; Brainiac, Clayface, S------- >HSG /co/ would be the first humans voluntarily released from the controller program on the grounds that no Yeerk wanted to share a head with them Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)01:03 No.54032053 Replies: 2540321154032187 22540321942540322775403229754032381 2>54031664 >Day 14: Host prattled on about some insipid television show and how he fantasized about being sat on by one of the larger human female characters. Not sure if this is some sign of dementia; resolve to have brain examined on the next trip to the Pool >Day 23: Went to insipid human superhero movie as a part of a Sharing event. Host would not shut up about how the movie was inferior to the comic book and how the entire film was "watered down casual trash." Resolved to stay away from movies for the foreseeable future. >Day 35: Host will not shut up about Digimon and insists that it is a perfectly valid topic for a board about American cartoons. The fact that I know what that means suggests that I'm losing my grip on the situation and should request a transfer at the earliest opportunity >Day 43: Host will not stop asking if there are any aliens he can copulate with and that he is willing to consider voluntary controller status if I arrange such a lewd encounter. Tempted to acquiesce and put him in a cage with a Taxxon. Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)01:11 No.54032277 Replies: 3540323592 54032387 2540324142:54032475 2:54032495 254032053 >Day 53: Read several illustrated boo >Day 63: Engaged in debate with host about the feasibility of genetic mutants evolving to the point of superhuman powers. Left angry. >Day 73: Watched human animated television show. Appreciated the fact that aliens were shown assaulting humans. Disgruntled when host called the show "boring kiddie filth" Day 83: Researched human television programs further despite Host's insistence that "Teen Titans was overrated." Spent three hours debating the finer points of Season 4 and why Starfire was clearly the superion member of the team and would defeat this human batman monster no matter how much "prep time" he had >Day 106: Host is a f------ f----- who prefers Raven to Starfire. I bashed his head against wall in retaliation >Day 109: Host said my waifu was a w----. Deleted his p---------- in retaliation. >Day 110: Host introduced me to a webcomic called Homestuck. >Day 875: I have not been back to the Pool in months. I subsist entirely oatmeal so that I may continue to educate the humans on the finer points of comics and cartoons. Host has been quiet for das... wonder if l could tell the difference between us anymore Day 900: New Korra design is s--- 0/10 would not bang Quote this post purely for educational purposes.
Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)00:19 No.54030751 Replies: 54030921 54030972 File: 1378959552940.gif-(1.77 MB, 173x166, 1367281444779.gif) GI 54031664 54030608 mfw /most of /co/ would be able to drive their Yeerks crazy by constantly whining and rattling orn about the most inane s--- >My feet hurt >I want to fap >I'm hungry >This invasion plan is stupid Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)00:50 No.54031664 Replies: 54031697540320532 54032400 54030751 >New 52 is s--- and here's a dissertation why >Remember that show from the 90's? Let's talk about it for hours. >What was your first cartoon boner? Rate my waifu chart >Why is she so perfect, /co/? >Korra-Whorra >F--- Marry Kill; Brainiac, Clayface, S------- >HSG /co/ would be the first humans voluntarily released from the controller program on the grounds that no Yeerk wanted to share a head with them Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)01:03 No.54032053 Replies: 2540321154032187 22540321942540322775403229754032381 2>54031664 >Day 14: Host prattled on about some insipid television show and how he fantasized about being sat on by one of the larger human female characters. Not sure if this is some sign of dementia; resolve to have brain examined on the next trip to the Pool >Day 23: Went to insipid human superhero movie as a part of a Sharing event. Host would not shut up about how the movie was inferior to the comic book and how the entire film was "watered down casual trash." Resolved to stay away from movies for the foreseeable future. >Day 35: Host will not shut up about Digimon and insists that it is a perfectly valid topic for a board about American cartoons. The fact that I know what that means suggests that I'm losing my grip on the situation and should request a transfer at the earliest opportunity >Day 43: Host will not stop asking if there are any aliens he can copulate with and that he is willing to consider voluntary controller status if I arrange such a lewd encounter. Tempted to acquiesce and put him in a cage with a Taxxon. Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)01:11 No.54032277 Replies: 3540323592 54032387 2540324142:54032475 2:54032495 254032053 >Day 53: Read several illustrated boo >Day 63: Engaged in debate with host about the feasibility of genetic mutants evolving to the point of superhuman powers. Left angry. >Day 73: Watched human animated television show. Appreciated the fact that aliens were shown assaulting humans. Disgruntled when host called the show "boring kiddie filth" Day 83: Researched human television programs further despite Host's insistence that "Teen Titans was overrated." Spent three hours debating the finer points of Season 4 and why Starfire was clearly the superion member of the team and would defeat this human batman monster no matter how much "prep time" he had >Day 106: Host is a f------ f----- who prefers Raven to Starfire. I bashed his head against wall in retaliation >Day 109: Host said my waifu was a w----. Deleted his p---------- in retaliation. >Day 110: Host introduced me to a webcomic called Homestuck. >Day 875: I have not been back to the Pool in months. I subsist entirely oatmeal so that I may continue to educate the humans on the finer points of comics and cartoons. Host has been quiet for das... wonder if l could tell the difference between us anymore Day 900: New Korra design is s--- 0/10 would not bang Quote this post purely for educational purposes.

Greentext Stories
animorphs yeerks brain parasites infohazard cognitohazard

Your daily dose of RAGE

Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:10 No.1763325 [!>1763354 176337017634121763422176344117635841763598 17636091763658 1763664 1763680>1763706 *1763731 >1763732 >>1763742 >>1763773 >1763792 >>1763819 1763837 >>1763854 >1763855 >1763867 >1763949 >1763960 >17639771764022 >1764062 1764196 >>1764852 >>1765843 >1768115 1771628>1772111 >1772381 1772790 1772826 >>1772880 Your pic reminds me sninth grade >there's a sweet, pretty girl who had lost her legs in an accident and uses a wheelchair >has very few friends due to her condition -she's a fantastic artist >my friends and I decide to prank her for s---- and giggles >l pretend I want to be her friend and she warms up to me immediately swe start to hang out outside of school >she takes me to her home one day to watch a movie ask her if she can show me her portfolio (she was in the advanced art program in our school and needed to create fifty or so amazing art pieces to pass). >during the movie, I say I need to go to the restroom sretrieve the big ass scissors from my pocket, go into her room, and cut the bottom half of all of her art pieces off and trash them >leave >the next day, she rolls up to me in the middle of class, on the verge of crying, and asks me what happened to her art >l said "l made them look like you." >all my friends laugh heartily >she rolls over to her table and just stares at her hands in her lap for the rest of the day It was less than a month before that art was due, too. There's no way she made it up in time. To this day I still look back and wonder what the f--- was wrong with us
Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:10 No.1763325 [!>1763354 176337017634121763422176344117635841763598 17636091763658 1763664 1763680>1763706 *1763731 >1763732 >>1763742 >>1763773 >1763792 >>1763819 1763837 >>1763854 >1763855 >1763867 >1763949 >1763960 >17639771764022 >1764062 1764196 >>1764852 >>1765843 >1768115 1771628>1772111 >1772381 1772790 1772826 >>1772880 Your pic reminds me sninth grade >there's a sweet, pretty girl who had lost her legs in an accident and uses a wheelchair >has very few friends due to her condition -she's a fantastic artist >my friends and I decide to prank her for s---- and giggles >l pretend I want to be her friend and she warms up to me immediately swe start to hang out outside of school >she takes me to her home one day to watch a movie ask her if she can show me her portfolio (she was in the advanced art program in our school and needed to create fifty or so amazing art pieces to pass). >during the movie, I say I need to go to the restroom sretrieve the big ass scissors from my pocket, go into her room, and cut the bottom half of all of her art pieces off and trash them >leave >the next day, she rolls up to me in the middle of class, on the verge of crying, and asks me what happened to her art >l said "l made them look like you." >all my friends laugh heartily >she rolls over to her table and just stares at her hands in her lap for the rest of the day It was less than a month before that art was due, too. There's no way she made it up in time. To this day I still look back and wonder what the f--- was wrong with us

Greentext Stories
greentext story handicap artist sabotage douchebag

Anon Loves His Dad

Anonymous 02/28/19(Thu)22:10:02 No.793849895 >be me, 19 dad got a new job, brings up his old work bench from the downstairs that's been collecting dust Whatcha bringing that upstairs for dad? 35 KB JPG "For my new job! Haven't used this thing in forever. Remember these pictures?" >he shows me magnets on the side of the bench of me and my little bro from 10 years ago >cringe but laugh at how I used to look, scrawny f--- with buck teeth bc it was before I had braces notice he had baseball shaped silly bandz in his bench drawers Damn, this thing really is old! Where'd these come from? "You guys gave them to me so l kept them in there!" he says happily as he rolls it into the next room >sit there and smile as I realize my dad really has cared for my lil bro and I all these years >feel sad because when we were that little my parents were going through a rough divorce, mom manipulated bro and I to hate my dad replace the sadness with happiness once more, the past is in the past. I love my dad View Thread
Anonymous 02/28/19(Thu)22:10:02 No.793849895 >be me, 19 dad got a new job, brings up his old work bench from the downstairs that's been collecting dust Whatcha bringing that upstairs for dad? 35 KB JPG "For my new job! Haven't used this thing in forever. Remember these pictures?" >he shows me magnets on the side of the bench of me and my little bro from 10 years ago >cringe but laugh at how I used to look, scrawny f--- with buck teeth bc it was before I had braces notice he had baseball shaped silly bandz in his bench drawers Damn, this thing really is old! Where'd these come from? "You guys gave them to me so l kept them in there!" he says happily as he rolls it into the next room >sit there and smile as I realize my dad really has cared for my lil bro and I all these years >feel sad because when we were that little my parents were going through a rough divorce, mom manipulated bro and I to hate my dad replace the sadness with happiness once more, the past is in the past. I love my dad View Thread

Greentext Stories
anon greentext dad wholesome karen

Feels

fatest kid in high school lets just cal him dipsh lest day of school. 1hans god thone's an old mn a e banches down, reading a newspaper Hary, Anon Wanna ride my skateboard? Wat, no, you'ne so fat that you might break it temible and badly wonded insut but it sh uck ing hurts het the f--- is this? Ane you trying to ignore me? it won't wok. I know thet you can ser And as long as I know thase t things I wil neve lave fatty the oid men takes out a cigar endgts it saying ฯwould not make fun of people's weight if I were you' Eacause whan your entre arm i skinnr than mcat man's dicka you should ealizs yeu that their leader was toild by an ald mn he's inerally staring off into the direction the pack of assholes an the best comeback they hed was yeling F--- ME? No sormy. I don't want to join your litle ogy later. And what are you dioing nenested in someone my age, anyvay th arire ste block stari Dh, no trouble od, he got what he deserved man's insults Franklin, but you can call me Frank Yours? Have you ever done anything to deserve the bulishit he juat pave you? A skinny itie btch insulting someane who could kol them menely by stting on them i have heard every single word he said, and i play the scene out in my head me trying to fght him nd get humilated in font of entire school No, no, I'd..I'd rather not BULLSHT just ignone him unil he quts Exactlyl it never goes away but fyou beat iR unough, is presance vont bothar you That skinny itde s---? He is cancer. Ha sees someone who wont Sght back, he see omeone he can consume And yet, here you si, acting lke he's a minor headache come through this park every day You can wat on this bench to f--- him up ne, this guy is tucking insane 'm sorry Frank but I think it would just be best so avoid contontation really good guy and practicaly a le ry brth Hey, Anon you happy school is out? You kn R Anon、 could spend the entre damns mmer hrg these games Then ve could taka the place of arca whales in Sea World Hay Anon, could you go to the store naxt to the park and gen some mik? tve gota ger to wark and I don't hdva time for shapping on the way buy th juga, at the store with two bags, one for each jug ee Frank siting across on his usunl bench Helo, Anan, how ane you doing today? Whats in the bags? Rasponsible. You're a good kid an just aboul to get into a nice conversation with Frank when...you guessed "Aniat's up, Lard Boy? Hangng out wehe man with one loot r, the gave?" out,and so are you quiers, your deks hanging ณ They hang out because their longer old man The only thing long about you is your a--- passage, so you can ft whatever size d--- NG STOPS H S FIST TO GOD HE HOLDS THS SKONNY we have a few patches where s lot of drops hit us, bun d------ is soaked Get out af hene, go f--- each other or something They run, the actualy f------ FUN i st back with the old man out of breath my heart beasng like cy he reaches tor his beard ond gets ttle bitofnkthattound it's →ytere he puts his finger in his mouth and tastes i Hmmm . tastes Be soaked foggo Frank gves me money to buy anther jug of mi dad never knows about what happened tant over yet guys, there is stl so much more to this sto ysedy for this s---? come home and tell ded i made a friend who l be coming over in the next few days we sit dows to eat (dad is a surprisingly good cook, he made soma lasagna hatigN No, I didnt, Anan, why didnt you tel me? No need to worry now WWe took cane of t to avoid it apain, of this I would like t atlack the I m not going to force you into this, and Im not going to help you without your laher's approval, butI can reaily help you get in shape Now,isten, Anon I am nat going to maike you do this 's your choice But ance ve start, thene is no turning back Alight, we start temorrew, meat me in the park at 11.00 AM build up my scamina and make al the important workouts essien on the first day-didnt even make half way You bre doing incredibly well, very few paopie actualy run as long as thay cas, but I can tell by how axhaused you ane that you are actualy trying rest on the bench, and then when you'ne rasted you can try this egain, aligh? avery time -so for four weeks Iun, near the endcold un TEN F------ LAPS IWWS 30 F------ PROuD oF i lose a lucking INCREDIBLE 15 pounds doing this s--- I COULD ACTUALLY DO THIS w than slart to do averal dilerent types in one day, so we can wok on -i was then 180 pounds, the perfect weight for my height kids at school notice e getting bethter a nomal stude Kid, I am so f------ proud af you. I don't think I've cried harder than this in my entire -dad actualy does we get a bigger house, lite is so much better now Good luck. Anon. the old man cries whenI greduate and ugs me tig רhdlo crying, but good lord I could dron inanver dety on tears/mse proud. a drunk the shock from the inmpact kiled him instantly diver siemmed into him this hard ass m----------- break dovn YOU M------------ PIECE OF SHT and then more things.. came about have three che comes ouf with a pictune of a waman ts a picturne af my wife Eizabeth and our daughter Josanna -he just looks at me and I know what he means Hey. Anon oh god he's so thin...why did this have to happen to hi? he puils out thet picture ofl his wile and dauge you ane the cleseat thing to a child ve ee You unike everybody else, you sat doun, you talked to me, you achualy ioed me 1 love you, Anon, even you ent ny son, Ilove you ery lke a f------ baby
fatest kid in high school lets just cal him dipsh lest day of school. 1hans god thone's an old mn a e banches down, reading a newspaper Hary, Anon Wanna ride my skateboard? Wat, no, you'ne so fat that you might break it temible and badly wonded insut but it sh uck ing hurts het the f--- is this? Ane you trying to ignore me? it won't wok. I know thet you can ser And as long as I know thase t things I wil neve lave fatty the oid men takes out a cigar endgts it saying ฯwould not make fun of people's weight if I were you' Eacause whan your entre arm i skinnr than mcat man's dicka you should ealizs yeu that their leader was toild by an ald mn he's inerally staring off into the direction the pack of assholes an the best comeback they hed was yeling F--- ME? No sormy. I don't want to join your litle ogy later. And what are you dioing nenested in someone my age, anyvay th arire ste block stari Dh, no trouble od, he got what he deserved man's insults Franklin, but you can call me Frank Yours? Have you ever done anything to deserve the bulishit he juat pave you? A skinny itie btch insulting someane who could kol them menely by stting on them i have heard every single word he said, and i play the scene out in my head me trying to fght him nd get humilated in font of entire school No, no, I'd..I'd rather not BULLSHT just ignone him unil he quts Exactlyl it never goes away but fyou beat iR unough, is presance vont bothar you That skinny itde s---? He is cancer. Ha sees someone who wont Sght back, he see omeone he can consume And yet, here you si, acting lke he's a minor headache come through this park every day You can wat on this bench to f--- him up ne, this guy is tucking insane 'm sorry Frank but I think it would just be best so avoid contontation really good guy and practicaly a le ry brth Hey, Anon you happy school is out? You kn R Anon、 could spend the entre damns mmer hrg these games Then ve could taka the place of arca whales in Sea World Hay Anon, could you go to the store naxt to the park and gen some mik? tve gota ger to wark and I don't hdva time for shapping on the way buy th juga, at the store with two bags, one for each jug ee Frank siting across on his usunl bench Helo, Anan, how ane you doing today? Whats in the bags? Rasponsible. You're a good kid an just aboul to get into a nice conversation with Frank when...you guessed "Aniat's up, Lard Boy? Hangng out wehe man with one loot r, the gave?" out,and so are you quiers, your deks hanging ณ They hang out because their longer old man The only thing long about you is your a--- passage, so you can ft whatever size d--- NG STOPS H S FIST TO GOD HE HOLDS THS SKONNY we have a few patches where s lot of drops hit us, bun d------ is soaked Get out af hene, go f--- each other or something They run, the actualy f------ FUN i st back with the old man out of breath my heart beasng like cy he reaches tor his beard ond gets ttle bitofnkthattound it's →ytere he puts his finger in his mouth and tastes i Hmmm . tastes Be soaked foggo Frank gves me money to buy anther jug of mi dad never knows about what happened tant over yet guys, there is stl so much more to this sto ysedy for this s---? come home and tell ded i made a friend who l be coming over in the next few days we sit dows to eat (dad is a surprisingly good cook, he made soma lasagna hatigN No, I didnt, Anan, why didnt you tel me? No need to worry now WWe took cane of t to avoid it apain, of this I would like t atlack the I m not going to force you into this, and Im not going to help you without your laher's approval, butI can reaily help you get in shape Now,isten, Anon I am nat going to maike you do this 's your choice But ance ve start, thene is no turning back Alight, we start temorrew, meat me in the park at 11.00 AM build up my scamina and make al the important workouts essien on the first day-didnt even make half way You bre doing incredibly well, very few paopie actualy run as long as thay cas, but I can tell by how axhaused you ane that you are actualy trying rest on the bench, and then when you'ne rasted you can try this egain, aligh? avery time -so for four weeks Iun, near the endcold un TEN F------ LAPS IWWS 30 F------ PROuD oF i lose a lucking INCREDIBLE 15 pounds doing this s--- I COULD ACTUALLY DO THIS w than slart to do averal dilerent types in one day, so we can wok on -i was then 180 pounds, the perfect weight for my height kids at school notice e getting bethter a nomal stude Kid, I am so f------ proud af you. I don't think I've cried harder than this in my entire -dad actualy does we get a bigger house, lite is so much better now Good luck. Anon. the old man cries whenI greduate and ugs me tig רhdlo crying, but good lord I could dron inanver dety on tears/mse proud. a drunk the shock from the inmpact kiled him instantly diver siemmed into him this hard ass m----------- break dovn YOU M------------ PIECE OF SHT and then more things.. came about have three che comes ouf with a pictune of a waman ts a picturne af my wife Eizabeth and our daughter Josanna -he just looks at me and I know what he means Hey. Anon oh god he's so thin...why did this have to happen to hi? he puils out thet picture ofl his wile and dauge you ane the cleseat thing to a child ve ee You unike everybody else, you sat doun, you talked to me, you achualy ioed me 1 love you, Anon, even you ent ny son, Ilove you ery lke a f------ baby

Greentext Stories
bullying story death cool old man feels fat

Anon got away from cheating on his wife

Anonymous (ID: IJjvTYb+ 01/02/19(Wed)23:24:32 No.12320690 go on okcupid date with 18 year old high school girl >sorta chubby but big t------ rented a hotel room before meeting her at park investment pavs off and take her 7 KB PNG back to f--- her turns out she's a virgin fast forward a couple of weeks wife discovered i booked a hotel room for one >she freaks out and accusses me of having an affair reveal to her i am not and if i tell her she has to promise not to tell anyone >tell her im an arms dealer for gangs in chicago tell elaborate story about how i graduated from drugs to guns and had to go back dealing after struggling with tile installation company she starts crving and tells me she doesn't want me get killed and to quit tell her i still need to do 2 more deals and I'm done we have amazing sex that night behaves more attentive around me now Did I do good /biz/? Also why can't l feel bad about this?
Anonymous (ID: IJjvTYb+ 01/02/19(Wed)23:24:32 No.12320690 go on okcupid date with 18 year old high school girl >sorta chubby but big t------ rented a hotel room before meeting her at park investment pavs off and take her 7 KB PNG back to f--- her turns out she's a virgin fast forward a couple of weeks wife discovered i booked a hotel room for one >she freaks out and accusses me of having an affair reveal to her i am not and if i tell her she has to promise not to tell anyone >tell her im an arms dealer for gangs in chicago tell elaborate story about how i graduated from drugs to guns and had to go back dealing after struggling with tile installation company she starts crving and tells me she doesn't want me get killed and to quit tell her i still need to do 2 more deals and I'm done we have amazing sex that night behaves more attentive around me now Did I do good /biz/? Also why can't l feel bad about this?

Greentext Stories
4chan /biz/ greentext stories

Anon does the right thing

Anonymous02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl 've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know host a party but he was busy and didn't come >she was too drunk after party to 17 KB JPG drive and asked to stay over found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?
Anonymous02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl 've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know host a party but he was busy and didn't come >she was too drunk after party to 17 KB JPG drive and asked to stay over found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

Greentext Stories
crush teaching anon party drunk