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Snail Has a Message

05/26/19(Sun)23:13:20 No.3034971 Anonymous >*CRUNCH* >AGGGGHHHHHHH! F---! >Its f------ smashed, isnt it? >So this is it huh, this is how it all ends? >Hey hey its okay buddy, its okay >*gurgles* 54 KB JPG >lts night time, you couldnt see me >l get it >*sputter* >l had a good run, you know? >You might not think it but we snails live on the edge >*begins bubbling* >You havent lived until youve slid across a soaking wet sidewalk at 1am >l knew the risks >It was more than worth it >*bubbles uncontrollably* >You never know who's gonna come walking out that door, thats why we do it >l died doing what I loved, thats more than what most of you can say >begins leaking fluids* >At least I wasnt pecked apart by some f------ bird, right? >*eyes retract* >T-tell the slugs >*emits green bubbles* >Theyre f---

05/26/19(Sun)23:13:20 No.3034971 Anonymous >*CRUNCH* >AGGGGHHHHHHH! F---! >Its f------ smashed, isnt it? >So this is it huh, this is how it all ends? >Hey hey its okay buddy, its okay >*gurgles* 54 KB JPG >lts night time, you couldnt see me >l get it >*sputter* >l had a good run, you know? >You might not think it but we snails live on the edge >*begins bubbling* >You havent lived until youve slid across a soaking wet sidewalk at 1am >l knew the risks >It was more than worth it >*bubbles uncontrollably* >You never know who's gonna come walking out that door, thats why we do it >l died doing what I loved, thats more than what most of you can say >begins leaking fluids* >At least I wasnt pecked apart by some f------ bird, right? >*eyes retract* >T-tell the slugs >*emits green bubbles* >Theyre f---

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greentext 4chan snail

Feels greentext

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greentext wojak 4chan feels

anon.plays.kof.png

Anonymous 05/05/19(Sun)13:35:07 No.252295676252295717 33252295915 File: unnamed.ipg (44 KB, 900x900) >a few hundred players are enough for a fighting game, it's only 1v1 after all >download it ranked matchmaking is dead >go to lobbies there is only one lobby with an acceptable ping, the rest is Brazilians the guy is a veteran, rapes me and quits suninstall it and never go back again

Anonymous 05/05/19(Sun)13:35:07 No.252295676252295717 33252295915 File: unnamed.ipg (44 KB, 900x900) >a few hundred players are enough for a fighting game, it's only 1v1 after all >download it ranked matchmaking is dead >go to lobbies there is only one lobby with an acceptable ping, the rest is Brazilians the guy is a veteran, rapes me and quits suninstall it and never go back again

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ricardo milos fighting games discord brazil no credit to op no credit to anon

Ah yes

773592874 Anonymous 22 minutes ago 20180706_023529.jpg (236.7 KB, 700x700) be me have half j-- friend try to relate to him by telling him about the anime I watch >doesn't watch anime calls me a weeaboo Back to the drawing board lads. 3 REPLIES OIMAGES

773592874 Anonymous 22 minutes ago 20180706_023529.jpg (236.7 KB, 700x700) be me have half j-- friend try to relate to him by telling him about the anime I watch >doesn't watch anime calls me a weeaboo Back to the drawing board lads. 3 REPLIES OIMAGES

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weeaboo anime 4chan

Anon discovers his sexuality

Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at we have to move a bunch of boxes 229 KB PNG >I pick one up, trip and fall "don't be such a silly little boy" Sinstant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 34 Replies /5 Images View Thread

Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)13:57:27 No.44135120 >straight boy about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at we have to move a bunch of boxes 229 KB PNG >I pick one up, trip and fall "don't be such a silly little boy" Sinstant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 34 Replies /5 Images View Thread

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Anon Is a Snitch

: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 NO.94842283 >be me >beta jeww >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in Our area >smart, charismatic, basically a 191 KB JPG >start to get p----- off and jealous of him find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together he savs he knows there's a snitch in the friend group oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty w-- feel really guilty and try to return my reward cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god mfw i snitched on god

: Anonymous 03/12/19(Tue)23:18:58 NO.94842283 >be me >beta jeww >have a close group of friends >i always feel left out though >one guy is most popular guy in Our area >smart, charismatic, basically a 191 KB JPG >start to get p----- off and jealous of him find out he's in trouble with the local authorities for some random bs decide to snitch on him >go to the cops, they give me a big ass reward >shekeltime.jpg >later we're all getting some food together he savs he knows there's a snitch in the friend group oshit >try to play it cool >the next day the cops make me bring them to him so they can arrest him >he ends up getting the death penalty w-- feel really guilty and try to return my reward cops tell me to f--- off >i end up killing myself out of guilt three days later he rises from the dead >he's literally god mfw i snitched on god

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Kobold Religion

Anonymous 11/09/10 (Tue)07:21 No.12735703 I just had a strange image. Four deities are gathered around a table; Dorf god of blacksmithing and love; Elf god of archery and poetry; human god of war and merchants; kobold's only deity Human deity: >My people can be inspired by a blast of lightning or an enchanted sword, which will guide them to forge new worlds out of respect. Their strengths are versatility and stamina. When I meet them in the afterlife, I judge them by their deeds and the worthy may live in my kingdom. >My people can be inspired by a voice from the depths or a large jewel, which will guide them to create a lasting culture of wisdom. Their strengths are tradition and prowess. In the afterlife, I judge them by their Dorf god thoughts, and allow the purest to join my mines into eternity Elf god >My people can be inspired by a beautiful waterfall or a strong-yet-flexible metal. Their strengths are artistic talent and all things longbow. When they die, I judge them by their contribution to their people and allow the most pleasing to forever roam my forest The kobold goddess, she smiles softly and says >My people can be inspired by a tragedy or mishap. Their strengths are fast breeding and skills with ambushes. When they die, I do not judge them and give each one but a single hug before I let them choose how to spend their afterlife Each deity looks to the kobold goddess and says >But, why only a hug for each one? She smiles broadly, proud as she replies >Because I have so many children and I can not be bothered with judging them, nor so selective with whom is allowed to join me To be a kobold is to be unloved in this life. but in the afterlife, it is to be hugged by your creator and told it was all worth it And you wondered why they were so motivated Anonymous 11/09/10 (Tue)07:23 No.12735711 >12735703 his is now canon in my setting

Anonymous 11/09/10 (Tue)07:21 No.12735703 I just had a strange image. Four deities are gathered around a table; Dorf god of blacksmithing and love; Elf god of archery and poetry; human god of war and merchants; kobold's only deity Human deity: >My people can be inspired by a blast of lightning or an enchanted sword, which will guide them to forge new worlds out of respect. Their strengths are versatility and stamina. When I meet them in the afterlife, I judge them by their deeds and the worthy may live in my kingdom. >My people can be inspired by a voice from the depths or a large jewel, which will guide them to create a lasting culture of wisdom. Their strengths are tradition and prowess. In the afterlife, I judge them by their Dorf god thoughts, and allow the purest to join my mines into eternity Elf god >My people can be inspired by a beautiful waterfall or a strong-yet-flexible metal. Their strengths are artistic talent and all things longbow. When they die, I judge them by their contribution to their people and allow the most pleasing to forever roam my forest The kobold goddess, she smiles softly and says >My people can be inspired by a tragedy or mishap. Their strengths are fast breeding and skills with ambushes. When they die, I do not judge them and give each one but a single hug before I let them choose how to spend their afterlife Each deity looks to the kobold goddess and says >But, why only a hug for each one? She smiles broadly, proud as she replies >Because I have so many children and I can not be bothered with judging them, nor so selective with whom is allowed to join me To be a kobold is to be unloved in this life. but in the afterlife, it is to be hugged by your creator and told it was all worth it And you wondered why they were so motivated Anonymous 11/09/10 (Tue)07:23 No.12735711 >12735703 his is now canon in my setting

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/tg/ kobolds religion goddess hugs afterlife adorable wholesome

/co/ versus the yeerks

Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)00:19 No.54030751 Replies: 54030921 54030972 File: 1378959552940.gif-(1.77 MB, 173x166, 1367281444779.gif) GI 54031664 54030608 mfw /most of /co/ would be able to drive their Yeerks crazy by constantly whining and rattling orn about the most inane s--- >My feet hurt >I want to fap >I'm hungry >This invasion plan is stupid Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)00:50 No.54031664 Replies: 54031697540320532 54032400 54030751 >New 52 is s--- and here's a dissertation why >Remember that show from the 90's? Let's talk about it for hours. >What was your first cartoon boner? Rate my waifu chart >Why is she so perfect, /co/? >Korra-Whorra >F--- Marry Kill; Brainiac, Clayface, S------- >HSG /co/ would be the first humans voluntarily released from the controller program on the grounds that no Yeerk wanted to share a head with them Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)01:03 No.54032053 Replies: 2540321154032187 22540321942540322775403229754032381 2>54031664 >Day 14: Host prattled on about some insipid television show and how he fantasized about being sat on by one of the larger human female characters. Not sure if this is some sign of dementia; resolve to have brain examined on the next trip to the Pool >Day 23: Went to insipid human superhero movie as a part of a Sharing event. Host would not shut up about how the movie was inferior to the comic book and how the entire film was "watered down casual trash." Resolved to stay away from movies for the foreseeable future. >Day 35: Host will not shut up about Digimon and insists that it is a perfectly valid topic for a board about American cartoons. The fact that I know what that means suggests that I'm losing my grip on the situation and should request a transfer at the earliest opportunity >Day 43: Host will not stop asking if there are any aliens he can copulate with and that he is willing to consider voluntary controller status if I arrange such a lewd encounter. Tempted to acquiesce and put him in a cage with a Taxxon. Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)01:11 No.54032277 Replies: 3540323592 54032387 2540324142:54032475 2:54032495 254032053 >Day 53: Read several illustrated boo >Day 63: Engaged in debate with host about the feasibility of genetic mutants evolving to the point of superhuman powers. Left angry. >Day 73: Watched human animated television show. Appreciated the fact that aliens were shown assaulting humans. Disgruntled when host called the show "boring kiddie filth" Day 83: Researched human television programs further despite Host's insistence that "Teen Titans was overrated." Spent three hours debating the finer points of Season 4 and why Starfire was clearly the superion member of the team and would defeat this human batman monster no matter how much "prep time" he had >Day 106: Host is a f------ f----- who prefers Raven to Starfire. I bashed his head against wall in retaliation >Day 109: Host said my waifu was a w----. Deleted his p---------- in retaliation. >Day 110: Host introduced me to a webcomic called Homestuck. >Day 875: I have not been back to the Pool in months. I subsist entirely oatmeal so that I may continue to educate the humans on the finer points of comics and cartoons. Host has been quiet for das... wonder if l could tell the difference between us anymore Day 900: New Korra design is s--- 0/10 would not bang Quote this post purely for educational purposes.

Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)00:19 No.54030751 Replies: 54030921 54030972 File: 1378959552940.gif-(1.77 MB, 173x166, 1367281444779.gif) GI 54031664 54030608 mfw /most of /co/ would be able to drive their Yeerks crazy by constantly whining and rattling orn about the most inane s--- >My feet hurt >I want to fap >I'm hungry >This invasion plan is stupid Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)00:50 No.54031664 Replies: 54031697540320532 54032400 54030751 >New 52 is s--- and here's a dissertation why >Remember that show from the 90's? Let's talk about it for hours. >What was your first cartoon boner? Rate my waifu chart >Why is she so perfect, /co/? >Korra-Whorra >F--- Marry Kill; Brainiac, Clayface, S------- >HSG /co/ would be the first humans voluntarily released from the controller program on the grounds that no Yeerk wanted to share a head with them Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)01:03 No.54032053 Replies: 2540321154032187 22540321942540322775403229754032381 2>54031664 >Day 14: Host prattled on about some insipid television show and how he fantasized about being sat on by one of the larger human female characters. Not sure if this is some sign of dementia; resolve to have brain examined on the next trip to the Pool >Day 23: Went to insipid human superhero movie as a part of a Sharing event. Host would not shut up about how the movie was inferior to the comic book and how the entire film was "watered down casual trash." Resolved to stay away from movies for the foreseeable future. >Day 35: Host will not shut up about Digimon and insists that it is a perfectly valid topic for a board about American cartoons. The fact that I know what that means suggests that I'm losing my grip on the situation and should request a transfer at the earliest opportunity >Day 43: Host will not stop asking if there are any aliens he can copulate with and that he is willing to consider voluntary controller status if I arrange such a lewd encounter. Tempted to acquiesce and put him in a cage with a Taxxon. Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)01:11 No.54032277 Replies: 3540323592 54032387 2540324142:54032475 2:54032495 254032053 >Day 53: Read several illustrated boo >Day 63: Engaged in debate with host about the feasibility of genetic mutants evolving to the point of superhuman powers. Left angry. >Day 73: Watched human animated television show. Appreciated the fact that aliens were shown assaulting humans. Disgruntled when host called the show "boring kiddie filth" Day 83: Researched human television programs further despite Host's insistence that "Teen Titans was overrated." Spent three hours debating the finer points of Season 4 and why Starfire was clearly the superion member of the team and would defeat this human batman monster no matter how much "prep time" he had >Day 106: Host is a f------ f----- who prefers Raven to Starfire. I bashed his head against wall in retaliation >Day 109: Host said my waifu was a w----. Deleted his p---------- in retaliation. >Day 110: Host introduced me to a webcomic called Homestuck. >Day 875: I have not been back to the Pool in months. I subsist entirely oatmeal so that I may continue to educate the humans on the finer points of comics and cartoons. Host has been quiet for das... wonder if l could tell the difference between us anymore Day 900: New Korra design is s--- 0/10 would not bang Quote this post purely for educational purposes.

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animorphs yeerks brain parasites infohazard cognitohazard

Your daily dose of RAGE

Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:10 No.1763325 [!>1763354 176337017634121763422176344117635841763598 17636091763658 1763664 1763680>1763706 *1763731 >1763732 >>1763742 >>1763773 >1763792 >>1763819 1763837 >>1763854 >1763855 >1763867 >1763949 >1763960 >17639771764022 >1764062 1764196 >>1764852 >>1765843 >1768115 1771628>1772111 >1772381 1772790 1772826 >>1772880 Your pic reminds me sninth grade >there's a sweet, pretty girl who had lost her legs in an accident and uses a wheelchair >has very few friends due to her condition -she's a fantastic artist >my friends and I decide to prank her for s---- and giggles >l pretend I want to be her friend and she warms up to me immediately swe start to hang out outside of school >she takes me to her home one day to watch a movie ask her if she can show me her portfolio (she was in the advanced art program in our school and needed to create fifty or so amazing art pieces to pass). >during the movie, I say I need to go to the restroom sretrieve the big ass scissors from my pocket, go into her room, and cut the bottom half of all of her art pieces off and trash them >leave >the next day, she rolls up to me in the middle of class, on the verge of crying, and asks me what happened to her art >l said "l made them look like you." >all my friends laugh heartily >she rolls over to her table and just stares at her hands in her lap for the rest of the day It was less than a month before that art was due, too. There's no way she made it up in time. To this day I still look back and wonder what the f--- was wrong with us

Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:10 No.1763325 [!>1763354 176337017634121763422176344117635841763598 17636091763658 1763664 1763680>1763706 *1763731 >1763732 >>1763742 >>1763773 >1763792 >>1763819 1763837 >>1763854 >1763855 >1763867 >1763949 >1763960 >17639771764022 >1764062 1764196 >>1764852 >>1765843 >1768115 1771628>1772111 >1772381 1772790 1772826 >>1772880 Your pic reminds me sninth grade >there's a sweet, pretty girl who had lost her legs in an accident and uses a wheelchair >has very few friends due to her condition -she's a fantastic artist >my friends and I decide to prank her for s---- and giggles >l pretend I want to be her friend and she warms up to me immediately swe start to hang out outside of school >she takes me to her home one day to watch a movie ask her if she can show me her portfolio (she was in the advanced art program in our school and needed to create fifty or so amazing art pieces to pass). >during the movie, I say I need to go to the restroom sretrieve the big ass scissors from my pocket, go into her room, and cut the bottom half of all of her art pieces off and trash them >leave >the next day, she rolls up to me in the middle of class, on the verge of crying, and asks me what happened to her art >l said "l made them look like you." >all my friends laugh heartily >she rolls over to her table and just stares at her hands in her lap for the rest of the day It was less than a month before that art was due, too. There's no way she made it up in time. To this day I still look back and wonder what the f--- was wrong with us

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greentext story handicap artist sabotage douchebag

Anon Loves His Dad

Anonymous 02/28/19(Thu)22:10:02 No.793849895 >be me, 19 dad got a new job, brings up his old work bench from the downstairs that's been collecting dust Whatcha bringing that upstairs for dad? 35 KB JPG "For my new job! Haven't used this thing in forever. Remember these pictures?" >he shows me magnets on the side of the bench of me and my little bro from 10 years ago >cringe but laugh at how I used to look, scrawny f--- with buck teeth bc it was before I had braces notice he had baseball shaped silly bandz in his bench drawers Damn, this thing really is old! Where'd these come from? "You guys gave them to me so l kept them in there!" he says happily as he rolls it into the next room >sit there and smile as I realize my dad really has cared for my lil bro and I all these years >feel sad because when we were that little my parents were going through a rough divorce, mom manipulated bro and I to hate my dad replace the sadness with happiness once more, the past is in the past. I love my dad View Thread

Anonymous 02/28/19(Thu)22:10:02 No.793849895 >be me, 19 dad got a new job, brings up his old work bench from the downstairs that's been collecting dust Whatcha bringing that upstairs for dad? 35 KB JPG "For my new job! Haven't used this thing in forever. Remember these pictures?" >he shows me magnets on the side of the bench of me and my little bro from 10 years ago >cringe but laugh at how I used to look, scrawny f--- with buck teeth bc it was before I had braces notice he had baseball shaped silly bandz in his bench drawers Damn, this thing really is old! Where'd these come from? "You guys gave them to me so l kept them in there!" he says happily as he rolls it into the next room >sit there and smile as I realize my dad really has cared for my lil bro and I all these years >feel sad because when we were that little my parents were going through a rough divorce, mom manipulated bro and I to hate my dad replace the sadness with happiness once more, the past is in the past. I love my dad View Thread

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Feels

fatest kid in high school lets just cal him dipsh lest day of school. 1hans god thone's an old mn a e banches down, reading a newspaper Hary, Anon Wanna ride my skateboard? Wat, no, you'ne so fat that you might break it temible and badly wonded insut but it sh uck ing hurts het the f--- is this? Ane you trying to ignore me? it won't wok. I know thet you can ser And as long as I know thase t things I wil neve lave fatty the oid men takes out a cigar endgts it saying ฯwould not make fun of people's weight if I were you' Eacause whan your entre arm i skinnr than mcat man's dicka you should ealizs yeu that their leader was toild by an ald mn he's inerally staring off into the direction the pack of assholes an the best comeback they hed was yeling F--- ME? No sormy. I don't want to join your litle ogy later. And what are you dioing nenested in someone my age, anyvay th arire ste block stari Dh, no trouble od, he got what he deserved man's insults Franklin, but you can call me Frank Yours? Have you ever done anything to deserve the bulishit he juat pave you? A skinny itie btch insulting someane who could kol them menely by stting on them i have heard every single word he said, and i play the scene out in my head me trying to fght him nd get humilated in font of entire school No, no, I'd..I'd rather not BULLSHT just ignone him unil he quts Exactlyl it never goes away but fyou beat iR unough, is presance vont bothar you That skinny itde s---? He is cancer. Ha sees someone who wont Sght back, he see omeone he can consume And yet, here you si, acting lke he's a minor headache come through this park every day You can wat on this bench to f--- him up ne, this guy is tucking insane 'm sorry Frank but I think it would just be best so avoid contontation really good guy and practicaly a le ry brth Hey, Anon you happy school is out? You kn R Anon、 could spend the entre damns mmer hrg these games Then ve could taka the place of arca whales in Sea World Hay Anon, could you go to the store naxt to the park and gen some mik? tve gota ger to wark and I don't hdva time for shapping on the way buy th juga, at the store with two bags, one for each jug ee Frank siting across on his usunl bench Helo, Anan, how ane you doing today? Whats in the bags? Rasponsible. You're a good kid an just aboul to get into a nice conversation with Frank when...you guessed "Aniat's up, Lard Boy? Hangng out wehe man with one loot r, the gave?" out,and so are you quiers, your deks hanging ณ They hang out because their longer old man The only thing long about you is your a--- passage, so you can ft whatever size d--- NG STOPS H S FIST TO GOD HE HOLDS THS SKONNY we have a few patches where s lot of drops hit us, bun d------ is soaked Get out af hene, go f--- each other or something They run, the actualy f------ FUN i st back with the old man out of breath my heart beasng like cy he reaches tor his beard ond gets ttle bitofnkthattound it's →ytere he puts his finger in his mouth and tastes i Hmmm . tastes Be soaked foggo Frank gves me money to buy anther jug of mi dad never knows about what happened tant over yet guys, there is stl so much more to this sto ysedy for this s---? come home and tell ded i made a friend who l be coming over in the next few days we sit dows to eat (dad is a surprisingly good cook, he made soma lasagna hatigN No, I didnt, Anan, why didnt you tel me? No need to worry now WWe took cane of t to avoid it apain, of this I would like t atlack the I m not going to force you into this, and Im not going to help you without your laher's approval, butI can reaily help you get in shape Now,isten, Anon I am nat going to maike you do this 's your choice But ance ve start, thene is no turning back Alight, we start temorrew, meat me in the park at 11.00 AM build up my scamina and make al the important workouts essien on the first day-didnt even make half way You bre doing incredibly well, very few paopie actualy run as long as thay cas, but I can tell by how axhaused you ane that you are actualy trying rest on the bench, and then when you'ne rasted you can try this egain, aligh? avery time -so for four weeks Iun, near the endcold un TEN F------ LAPS IWWS 30 F------ PROuD oF i lose a lucking INCREDIBLE 15 pounds doing this s--- I COULD ACTUALLY DO THIS w than slart to do averal dilerent types in one day, so we can wok on -i was then 180 pounds, the perfect weight for my height kids at school notice e getting bethter a nomal stude Kid, I am so f------ proud af you. I don't think I've cried harder than this in my entire -dad actualy does we get a bigger house, lite is so much better now Good luck. Anon. the old man cries whenI greduate and ugs me tig רhdlo crying, but good lord I could dron inanver dety on tears/mse proud. a drunk the shock from the inmpact kiled him instantly diver siemmed into him this hard ass m----------- break dovn YOU M------------ PIECE OF SHT and then more things.. came about have three che comes ouf with a pictune of a waman ts a picturne af my wife Eizabeth and our daughter Josanna -he just looks at me and I know what he means Hey. Anon oh god he's so thin...why did this have to happen to hi? he puils out thet picture ofl his wile and dauge you ane the cleseat thing to a child ve ee You unike everybody else, you sat doun, you talked to me, you achualy ioed me 1 love you, Anon, even you ent ny son, Ilove you ery lke a f------ baby

fatest kid in high school lets just cal him dipsh lest day of school. 1hans god thone's an old mn a e banches down, reading a newspaper Hary, Anon Wanna ride my skateboard? Wat, no, you'ne so fat that you might break it temible and badly wonded insut but it sh uck ing hurts het the f--- is this? Ane you trying to ignore me? it won't wok. I know thet you can ser And as long as I know thase t things I wil neve lave fatty the oid men takes out a cigar endgts it saying ฯwould not make fun of people's weight if I were you' Eacause whan your entre arm i skinnr than mcat man's dicka you should ealizs yeu that their leader was toild by an ald mn he's inerally staring off into the direction the pack of assholes an the best comeback they hed was yeling F--- ME? No sormy. I don't want to join your litle ogy later. And what are you dioing nenested in someone my age, anyvay th arire ste block stari Dh, no trouble od, he got what he deserved man's insults Franklin, but you can call me Frank Yours? Have you ever done anything to deserve the bulishit he juat pave you? A skinny itie btch insulting someane who could kol them menely by stting on them i have heard every single word he said, and i play the scene out in my head me trying to fght him nd get humilated in font of entire school No, no, I'd..I'd rather not BULLSHT just ignone him unil he quts Exactlyl it never goes away but fyou beat iR unough, is presance vont bothar you That skinny itde s---? He is cancer. Ha sees someone who wont Sght back, he see omeone he can consume And yet, here you si, acting lke he's a minor headache come through this park every day You can wat on this bench to f--- him up ne, this guy is tucking insane 'm sorry Frank but I think it would just be best so avoid contontation really good guy and practicaly a le ry brth Hey, Anon you happy school is out? You kn R Anon、 could spend the entre damns mmer hrg these games Then ve could taka the place of arca whales in Sea World Hay Anon, could you go to the store naxt to the park and gen some mik? tve gota ger to wark and I don't hdva time for shapping on the way buy th juga, at the store with two bags, one for each jug ee Frank siting across on his usunl bench Helo, Anan, how ane you doing today? Whats in the bags? Rasponsible. You're a good kid an just aboul to get into a nice conversation with Frank when...you guessed "Aniat's up, Lard Boy? Hangng out wehe man with one loot r, the gave?" out,and so are you quiers, your deks hanging ณ They hang out because their longer old man The only thing long about you is your a--- passage, so you can ft whatever size d--- NG STOPS H S FIST TO GOD HE HOLDS THS SKONNY we have a few patches where s lot of drops hit us, bun d------ is soaked Get out af hene, go f--- each other or something They run, the actualy f------ FUN i st back with the old man out of breath my heart beasng like cy he reaches tor his beard ond gets ttle bitofnkthattound it's →ytere he puts his finger in his mouth and tastes i Hmmm . tastes Be soaked foggo Frank gves me money to buy anther jug of mi dad never knows about what happened tant over yet guys, there is stl so much more to this sto ysedy for this s---? come home and tell ded i made a friend who l be coming over in the next few days we sit dows to eat (dad is a surprisingly good cook, he made soma lasagna hatigN No, I didnt, Anan, why didnt you tel me? No need to worry now WWe took cane of t to avoid it apain, of this I would like t atlack the I m not going to force you into this, and Im not going to help you without your laher's approval, butI can reaily help you get in shape Now,isten, Anon I am nat going to maike you do this 's your choice But ance ve start, thene is no turning back Alight, we start temorrew, meat me in the park at 11.00 AM build up my scamina and make al the important workouts essien on the first day-didnt even make half way You bre doing incredibly well, very few paopie actualy run as long as thay cas, but I can tell by how axhaused you ane that you are actualy trying rest on the bench, and then when you'ne rasted you can try this egain, aligh? avery time -so for four weeks Iun, near the endcold un TEN F------ LAPS IWWS 30 F------ PROuD oF i lose a lucking INCREDIBLE 15 pounds doing this s--- I COULD ACTUALLY DO THIS w than slart to do averal dilerent types in one day, so we can wok on -i was then 180 pounds, the perfect weight for my height kids at school notice e getting bethter a nomal stude Kid, I am so f------ proud af you. I don't think I've cried harder than this in my entire -dad actualy does we get a bigger house, lite is so much better now Good luck. Anon. the old man cries whenI greduate and ugs me tig רhdlo crying, but good lord I could dron inanver dety on tears/mse proud. a drunk the shock from the inmpact kiled him instantly diver siemmed into him this hard ass m----------- break dovn YOU M------------ PIECE OF SHT and then more things.. came about have three che comes ouf with a pictune of a waman ts a picturne af my wife Eizabeth and our daughter Josanna -he just looks at me and I know what he means Hey. Anon oh god he's so thin...why did this have to happen to hi? he puils out thet picture ofl his wile and dauge you ane the cleseat thing to a child ve ee You unike everybody else, you sat doun, you talked to me, you achualy ioed me 1 love you, Anon, even you ent ny son, Ilove you ery lke a f------ baby

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bullying story death cool old man feels fat

Anon got away from cheating on his wife

Anonymous (ID: IJjvTYb+ 01/02/19(Wed)23:24:32 No.12320690 go on okcupid date with 18 year old high school girl >sorta chubby but big t------ rented a hotel room before meeting her at park investment pavs off and take her 7 KB PNG back to f--- her turns out she's a virgin fast forward a couple of weeks wife discovered i booked a hotel room for one >she freaks out and accusses me of having an affair reveal to her i am not and if i tell her she has to promise not to tell anyone >tell her im an arms dealer for gangs in chicago tell elaborate story about how i graduated from drugs to guns and had to go back dealing after struggling with tile installation company she starts crving and tells me she doesn't want me get killed and to quit tell her i still need to do 2 more deals and I'm done we have amazing sex that night behaves more attentive around me now Did I do good /biz/? Also why can't l feel bad about this?

Anonymous (ID: IJjvTYb+ 01/02/19(Wed)23:24:32 No.12320690 go on okcupid date with 18 year old high school girl >sorta chubby but big t------ rented a hotel room before meeting her at park investment pavs off and take her 7 KB PNG back to f--- her turns out she's a virgin fast forward a couple of weeks wife discovered i booked a hotel room for one >she freaks out and accusses me of having an affair reveal to her i am not and if i tell her she has to promise not to tell anyone >tell her im an arms dealer for gangs in chicago tell elaborate story about how i graduated from drugs to guns and had to go back dealing after struggling with tile installation company she starts crving and tells me she doesn't want me get killed and to quit tell her i still need to do 2 more deals and I'm done we have amazing sex that night behaves more attentive around me now Did I do good /biz/? Also why can't l feel bad about this?

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Anon does the right thing

Anonymous02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl 've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know host a party but he was busy and didn't come >she was too drunk after party to 17 KB JPG drive and asked to stay over found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

Anonymous02/22/19(Fri)03:00:39 No.793293384 >be me >have a giant crush on this girl 've known for 4 years but she's been in a relationship with a dude whom I also know host a party but he was busy and didn't come >she was too drunk after party to 17 KB JPG drive and asked to stay over found out she had been having relationship issues and wanted to cheat on him refused >she gave me a sad look and feel asleep I'm still a virgin. I did good, right anons?

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crush teaching anon party drunk

Lesbian anon helps a friend, learns she may be bi

Anonymous 36 minutes ago 1157d2508d156b79213bcdaefa9fccAcfb5e2b9thq.gif (865.8 KB, 500x281) 20497629 anon's help a girl out be me female >19 short, but dont let it get to me >lesbian >help a male friend move out have trouble lifting a box (Its super small so its sort of embarassing) hes 6'6 and super ripped >picks it up and chuckles for a second pats me on head >suddenlyverywet.jpg I THOUGHT I WAS LESBIAN, IVE ONLY DATED GIRLS, HELP ME WHAT DO I DO 2 REPLIES

Anonymous 36 minutes ago 1157d2508d156b79213bcdaefa9fccAcfb5e2b9thq.gif (865.8 KB, 500x281) 20497629 anon's help a girl out be me female >19 short, but dont let it get to me >lesbian >help a male friend move out have trouble lifting a box (Its super small so its sort of embarassing) hes 6'6 and super ripped >picks it up and chuckles for a second pats me on head >suddenlyverywet.jpg I THOUGHT I WAS LESBIAN, IVE ONLY DATED GIRLS, HELP ME WHAT DO I DO 2 REPLIES

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bisexual lesbian 4chan

The Doctor

92 KB, 1000x1500) The time lord tard Anonymous (D |税07/13/16(Fri)08 01. 31 No.5826062トーAiAi Today I tell you the series tales of a kid from my prímary school. A kid that ultimately became the strangest person I have encountered in my e We had just started our 6th year of school and some fresh meat was being introduced to our class Real Doctor Who fan He even went as far as to wrile all the names of the character's in each book, put each actors name next to them >E Instead of wiing David Tenant he wrote his own name F--- sako The autist is self insering himself while he reads Kept to himself for the first month Until he met one of my friends We'l call him Gingy cause of his hair colour >He was the first of my group to get into swearing and he already understood how sex worked He always wore this black leather jacket And you never saw him without He begun t friends Let's get into the juicy s--- You knwow that belief that Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery that can apply here Afher Gingy and Tom became buds for 3-weeks, Tom began to adopt Gingy's bropes Getting into trouble with teachars >Whatever Gingy did Tom wasnt to far behind A month goes by Me and the rest of the group are getting sick of Tom and his copycat nature >We wait for him to arrive at schoal to talk to him about how he needs to find his own calling form his own individuality >F--- my life The little tard had bought the exact jacket that Gingy had been wearing since the start of year We were Anonymous (ID: seom)3 07/13/18/Fri)o8:16 43 No 58261615826256 File ing >We begun to take this piss >We begun to call him The Doctor He kept his cool just to impress Gingy But after peeling back the layers Caling us 'assholes, Tosers, 'c----, you name it he said it But we responded every time with And you're The Doctor He lost the leather jacket, thank f--- But he didn't loose the attitude We could begin to tell when he was acting as himself or was putting on his copycat act pen And every kid knew him as The Doctor He tried making nicknames to take the piss at me and my friends caling us The Pube Dude's, The Gays and just boiling it down to calling us gay for the rest of his time with us >we just laughed our asses off unti h grew knew he ©ouldn't win with that s--- s (ID eoITL)07/13/18(Fri)08:35:04 No 5826277 File 9 (208 KB, 241x Eventually The Doctor grew tired of the mockery, he decided he wanted respect he wanted to do something so outlandish for his age at the time, that we'd have lt had been 4-months since we'd started year-6 A thud from a newly placed lunch tray could be heard Like Zous had unleashed a single thunder bolt on our table Hey look! irs The Doctorl One of the guy's says The Dactor brushes it off with a smirk He leans into Gingy's ear (who was sining next to him) and whispers something > Gingy says 'Nice in a slow tone while nodding his head >The doctor says 1 went to a girf's sleepover. Just me and her. And I fingered her, in her sleep > Excuse me?t One of the other guy's says Doc then goes to eat his mash and peas with conidence You said she was asleep. Moaning she was > Yeah! S0? He says with mash and peas still in his mouth Another kid joined in and said You r---- her Doc spat out his mash and peas Getting food all over the table l could see the saliva in the mash r--- her >But she didn't give you permission to do that to her. You r---- her >We >He screamed with fury of a thousand whipped n------ Why can't you just like mel?1? He leaves to go and s-- >We all move table to get away from the mash on a second. We all knew his Anonymous (ID: boIT)07/13/18(Fri)o8: 57:17 No 5826369326516 23242 g0 We had the occasional mention of his fabricated story just for s---- and giggles But we kept the story to Head master Oh s--- mp3 'Can I please speak to all the boys from this class? >The Doctor is crying and sobbing in the comer and Gingy is there to comfort him >'So we've heard a story about an event involving Tom and a girl being spread around the school. So I'm going to politely ask. Who fabricated this rumor? And whoever this was, please come forward Oh s---, he's chveless to the truth lt was Tomm sir. He made up the story to impress us. But word got around about the story All we did was listen to his fake story 'ls this true?r >Tom cries cause he's realised his fate is sealed, and all the boys in the year will know how much of a ier he is He sobs and says Yes Why on God's grean Earth, would you make up a story about yourself r----- an underage girtr >Headmaster is bright red with fury and confusion Because I wanted to be cool. And I didnt know what r--- was Were all told to never speak about this event again and we leave And here we are. This is only part 1 out of 2 by the way. This s--- storm gets even messier (82 KB The tirne lord tard part 2: The downward spiral Anonyrmous (ID 14207/13/16(Friyo9 57 01 No 5826689 Ever since The Doctor was exposed as the liar he was Doc became isolated Gingy sti. kept itouch with him, but everyone else just found this kid repulsive If you don't the 1st part of the story, then here's a link to the thread 4chan.org/bant/thread 5826062Hp5826369 s get on >It had been months since the events of Docs finger story And The Doctor was ready for revenge on the kids that never accepted him. 2 members of our group had gone missing for 2-days We asked where they were Next week aives and one of them has returned H-------- dudel Where have you been? He responds Where the f--- is The Doctor No man, he's been gone as wel is he here? He's f------ lied to the police Claims me and the 2nd guy r---- himl His parent's took his lie seriously and reported us both to the policel >Poice told me to keep my mouth shut while the case is being looked intol But luck them This ittle k--- has crossed the line From just the judgment of his character and his history of lies about sexual encounters we knew the story was bull >The Doctor didn't show up to school for a month He knew he'd get the s--- kicked out of him s--- Anonymous (ID: EFiattuy)07/13/18(Fri)10:23 12 No 5826820 File (89 KB, 500x783) So after al that we reached the final day of school Doc has been nowhere to be seen nor the 2nd kid Luckily there was no evidence of the 1st kid being involved so he was let go by the 2nd month mark -Case was getting heated None of us could believe the police were buying into Doc's s--- Nobody saw s--- so they couldnt confirm shi -The Doctor clams that went to ta tilat to drain his lizard Unia when he's washing his hands the '2 rapists come in, bend him over the sink One kid held him down and the other stuffed him ike a turkey And then lelt him there once the dead was done. Not cause of Doc but cause some of use went to ditferent schools Or we just didn't share the same interests as we use to Turns out mid way through the case Doc confessed to his story being a lie And he just wanted to get back at us for ruining his life D:EFTu)07/13/18/Fri10:35:20 No 5826866 >A year after these events took place e guy's Eves in a lat Telling this tale to thenm He asks for a description of The Doctor Last week I was heading off to work and since I woke up at 9 am I heard a voice from outside my apartment door That exact kid was sat on the step outside my door, and was taking to himsell from 9 til 12 When I opened my door to ask him what he was doing, he scatered Turns out The Doctor has become a f------ nut case Haven't heard anything related to The Doctor since then Thus concludes the tale of The Doctor

92 KB, 1000x1500) The time lord tard Anonymous (D |税07/13/16(Fri)08 01. 31 No.5826062トーAiAi Today I tell you the series tales of a kid from my prímary school. A kid that ultimately became the strangest person I have encountered in my e We had just started our 6th year of school and some fresh meat was being introduced to our class Real Doctor Who fan He even went as far as to wrile all the names of the character's in each book, put each actors name next to them >E Instead of wiing David Tenant he wrote his own name F--- sako The autist is self insering himself while he reads Kept to himself for the first month Until he met one of my friends We'l call him Gingy cause of his hair colour >He was the first of my group to get into swearing and he already understood how sex worked He always wore this black leather jacket And you never saw him without He begun t friends Let's get into the juicy s--- You knwow that belief that Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery that can apply here Afher Gingy and Tom became buds for 3-weeks, Tom began to adopt Gingy's bropes Getting into trouble with teachars >Whatever Gingy did Tom wasnt to far behind A month goes by Me and the rest of the group are getting sick of Tom and his copycat nature >We wait for him to arrive at schoal to talk to him about how he needs to find his own calling form his own individuality >F--- my life The little tard had bought the exact jacket that Gingy had been wearing since the start of year We were Anonymous (ID: seom)3 07/13/18/Fri)o8:16 43 No 58261615826256 File ing >We begun to take this piss >We begun to call him The Doctor He kept his cool just to impress Gingy But after peeling back the layers Caling us 'assholes, Tosers, 'c----, you name it he said it But we responded every time with And you're The Doctor He lost the leather jacket, thank f--- But he didn't loose the attitude We could begin to tell when he was acting as himself or was putting on his copycat act pen And every kid knew him as The Doctor He tried making nicknames to take the piss at me and my friends caling us The Pube Dude's, The Gays and just boiling it down to calling us gay for the rest of his time with us >we just laughed our asses off unti h grew knew he ©ouldn't win with that s--- s (ID eoITL)07/13/18(Fri)08:35:04 No 5826277 File 9 (208 KB, 241x Eventually The Doctor grew tired of the mockery, he decided he wanted respect he wanted to do something so outlandish for his age at the time, that we'd have lt had been 4-months since we'd started year-6 A thud from a newly placed lunch tray could be heard Like Zous had unleashed a single thunder bolt on our table Hey look! irs The Doctorl One of the guy's says The Dactor brushes it off with a smirk He leans into Gingy's ear (who was sining next to him) and whispers something > Gingy says 'Nice in a slow tone while nodding his head >The doctor says 1 went to a girf's sleepover. Just me and her. And I fingered her, in her sleep > Excuse me?t One of the other guy's says Doc then goes to eat his mash and peas with conidence You said she was asleep. Moaning she was > Yeah! S0? He says with mash and peas still in his mouth Another kid joined in and said You r---- her Doc spat out his mash and peas Getting food all over the table l could see the saliva in the mash r--- her >But she didn't give you permission to do that to her. You r---- her >We >He screamed with fury of a thousand whipped n------ Why can't you just like mel?1? He leaves to go and s-- >We all move table to get away from the mash on a second. We all knew his Anonymous (ID: boIT)07/13/18(Fri)o8: 57:17 No 5826369326516 23242 g0 We had the occasional mention of his fabricated story just for s---- and giggles But we kept the story to Head master Oh s--- mp3 'Can I please speak to all the boys from this class? >The Doctor is crying and sobbing in the comer and Gingy is there to comfort him >'So we've heard a story about an event involving Tom and a girl being spread around the school. So I'm going to politely ask. Who fabricated this rumor? And whoever this was, please come forward Oh s---, he's chveless to the truth lt was Tomm sir. He made up the story to impress us. But word got around about the story All we did was listen to his fake story 'ls this true?r >Tom cries cause he's realised his fate is sealed, and all the boys in the year will know how much of a ier he is He sobs and says Yes Why on God's grean Earth, would you make up a story about yourself r----- an underage girtr >Headmaster is bright red with fury and confusion Because I wanted to be cool. And I didnt know what r--- was Were all told to never speak about this event again and we leave And here we are. This is only part 1 out of 2 by the way. This s--- storm gets even messier (82 KB The tirne lord tard part 2: The downward spiral Anonyrmous (ID 14207/13/16(Friyo9 57 01 No 5826689 Ever since The Doctor was exposed as the liar he was Doc became isolated Gingy sti. kept itouch with him, but everyone else just found this kid repulsive If you don't the 1st part of the story, then here's a link to the thread 4chan.org/bant/thread 5826062Hp5826369 s get on >It had been months since the events of Docs finger story And The Doctor was ready for revenge on the kids that never accepted him. 2 members of our group had gone missing for 2-days We asked where they were Next week aives and one of them has returned H-------- dudel Where have you been? He responds Where the f--- is The Doctor No man, he's been gone as wel is he here? He's f------ lied to the police Claims me and the 2nd guy r---- himl His parent's took his lie seriously and reported us both to the policel >Poice told me to keep my mouth shut while the case is being looked intol But luck them This ittle k--- has crossed the line From just the judgment of his character and his history of lies about sexual encounters we knew the story was bull >The Doctor didn't show up to school for a month He knew he'd get the s--- kicked out of him s--- Anonymous (ID: EFiattuy)07/13/18(Fri)10:23 12 No 5826820 File (89 KB, 500x783) So after al that we reached the final day of school Doc has been nowhere to be seen nor the 2nd kid Luckily there was no evidence of the 1st kid being involved so he was let go by the 2nd month mark -Case was getting heated None of us could believe the police were buying into Doc's s--- Nobody saw s--- so they couldnt confirm shi -The Doctor clams that went to ta tilat to drain his lizard Unia when he's washing his hands the '2 rapists come in, bend him over the sink One kid held him down and the other stuffed him ike a turkey And then lelt him there once the dead was done. Not cause of Doc but cause some of use went to ditferent schools Or we just didn't share the same interests as we use to Turns out mid way through the case Doc confessed to his story being a lie And he just wanted to get back at us for ruining his life D:EFTu)07/13/18/Fri10:35:20 No 5826866 >A year after these events took place e guy's Eves in a lat Telling this tale to thenm He asks for a description of The Doctor Last week I was heading off to work and since I woke up at 9 am I heard a voice from outside my apartment door That exact kid was sat on the step outside my door, and was taking to himsell from 9 til 12 When I opened my door to ask him what he was doing, he scatered Turns out The Doctor has become a f------ nut case Haven't heard anything related to The Doctor since then Thus concludes the tale of The Doctor

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Anon dunks on THOTs

Anonymous 01/20/19(Sun)18:23:45 No.49234214 This one still hurts me at the university basketball court shooting hoops with some friends free time for basketball ends, yoga class about to start all the yoga qts file into the gym me being the tall, athletic, cocky son of a 139 KB JPG gun that I am, start throwing down dunks to impress the ladies two girls that I know approach me "hey anon. Let's make a bet. If you go up for a dunk and miss, you have to take my friend here on a date" qt friend giggles and smiles agree, think to myself "f---, like I would ever miss a dunk Especially in front of my boys" everyone watching now go up and throw down one of my best tomahawk slams my friends go nuts girls look at me sad and confused walk up and awkwardly say "sorry, I don't miss dunkS they don't say anything, just walk away mfw I realize I was supposed to miss it on purpose Neither of them talked to me again JD >>49234236 # >:49234263 # 〉:49234298 # >>49234317 # >>49234412 # >:49234481 # >:49234664 # 〉:49234704 # >>49234739 # >:49234806 # >:49234817 # >:49234851 # >:49234921 #

Anonymous 01/20/19(Sun)18:23:45 No.49234214 This one still hurts me at the university basketball court shooting hoops with some friends free time for basketball ends, yoga class about to start all the yoga qts file into the gym me being the tall, athletic, cocky son of a 139 KB JPG gun that I am, start throwing down dunks to impress the ladies two girls that I know approach me "hey anon. Let's make a bet. If you go up for a dunk and miss, you have to take my friend here on a date" qt friend giggles and smiles agree, think to myself "f---, like I would ever miss a dunk Especially in front of my boys" everyone watching now go up and throw down one of my best tomahawk slams my friends go nuts girls look at me sad and confused walk up and awkwardly say "sorry, I don't miss dunkS they don't say anything, just walk away mfw I realize I was supposed to miss it on purpose Neither of them talked to me again JD >>49234236 # >:49234263 # 〉:49234298 # >>49234317 # >>49234412 # >:49234481 # >:49234664 # 〉:49234704 # >>49234739 # >:49234806 # >:49234817 # >:49234851 # >:49234921 #

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4chan dunk thot bet date

So this is the reason there is so much magic girl animes

File: confused-reaction-face-gif.gif (339 KB, 500x318) Anomymous 01/14/19(Mon)21.01:53 No.64057087 64057103 64057110 6405711664057150 64057200 6405720864057279 64057385 64057390 64057400 64057450 64057464 64057621 64057 64057711 64057759 64058002 64053008 64058489 64058553 264058611 >male wizards are depicted as old men >female wizards are depicted as young and beautiful women S Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)21:02-52 No.54057103 64057162 64057260 264059406 64057087 COP) Female wizards make themselves look hot with magic Male wizards make themselves look wise with magic Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)23:47:28 No.64059406 64057103 Youve got it all wrong. Female wizards make themselves look like crazy old men to be left alone and get to do whatever they want. Male wizards make themselves into hot girls because thirty years of virginity has turned them into degenerates.

File: confused-reaction-face-gif.gif (339 KB, 500x318) Anomymous 01/14/19(Mon)21.01:53 No.64057087 64057103 64057110 6405711664057150 64057200 6405720864057279 64057385 64057390 64057400 64057450 64057464 64057621 64057 64057711 64057759 64058002 64053008 64058489 64058553 264058611 >male wizards are depicted as old men >female wizards are depicted as young and beautiful women S Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)21:02-52 No.54057103 64057162 64057260 264059406 64057087 COP) Female wizards make themselves look hot with magic Male wizards make themselves look wise with magic Anonymous 01/14/19(Mon)23:47:28 No.64059406 64057103 Youve got it all wrong. Female wizards make themselves look like crazy old men to be left alone and get to do whatever they want. Male wizards make themselves into hot girls because thirty years of virginity has turned them into degenerates.

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greentext wizard magic 4chan

the tale of Donovan Graham

Anonymous 12/16/10 (Thu)03:47 No.13170284 Hide Gather 'round to hear the tale of Donovan Graham Everyone who knew him thought that he was a paladin, but he was not. Everyone who knew him thought that he was noble-born, but he was not. Everyone who knew him thought that he was a brave man, but he was not. A rogue and a con artist, what began as a simple attempt to get free lodgings at a temple for the night rapidly spiraled into a lie from which Donovan could not escape. That very night, word came that the governor was calling up a band of brave souls to set forth and attempt to gain intelligence upon or even slow the advance of an army pushing up from the south. He had beseeched the church to send aid and while there was not one among their elderly ranks who could have endured such a trial, there WAS their visiting brother-paladin "But I've no armor, no weapons. I donated them all to the poor," Donovan explained Then take with you these relics, the blade and armor of a great knight entrusted to our care. As one equal to him in both baring and breeding, we know he would approve of your using them," the monks answered back. And so given a weapon he'd no idea how to use and clad in armor so heavy he could barely stand, Donovan Graham joined a rough band of mercenaries and patriots to face a vast and terrible army His plan was to run the first chance he got, yet in that first attempt he blundered straight into caught up with him, cheering the brave Paladin Donovan for uncovering the spy enemy spy. In panic and through sheer luck, he put his sword through the man's chest, and collapsed bellow a tree. The rest of the band Anonymous 12/16/10 (Thu)03:47 No.13170293 Hide So continued his every effort to flee, at least four more times carrying him unwittingly into the clutches of danger and death. The rest of the band were amazed at his ability to sniff out ambushes and patrols and the almost berserker-like fervor in which he set upon their foes Finally, realizing that his only chance to survive was to keep in the company of the others, Donovan ceased attempting to flee. Soon he began to impress them with other skills, such as the settings of traps and snares, being able to talk an entire camp of local bandits into aiding them, and even methods to stealthily approach enemy lines without being seen. It was clear to them all that his religious passion and knightly virtue was tempered with great worldly knowledge. Unanimously, it was agreed that HE would lead the guerrilla movement against the enemy Donovan, despite himself, began to grow fo f the member of his band. In particular the young bard with laughing green eyes who delighted in his knowledge of bawdy songs (" wouldn't think a member of nobility would know that Donovan." "Are you kidding? We WROTE it.") and the half-elven wizardess with the freckled face, whose worldliness both awed and frightened him. Even the half-orc, as grou nfriendly a man as had ever been born, had somehow become a pillar d the local population, they slowed and even checked the advancing army. A bounty was placed on all their heads, but n was higher than for the Black-Haired who lead them. Despite ha managed to avoid directly involving himself in battle nearly the time, legends rose about his great prowess and mastery of the sword. How he could, in a single sweep of his fiery blad through soldiers Anonymous 12/16/10 (Thu)03:49 No.131 Such rumors awakened the dark hungers of the commanding general of the invaders, whose power skill was matched only by his ruthlessness. He longed to face the paladin in a duel a prove how mortal this legend was. Yet, swered or else resulted in hes that badly weakened his forces Finally, this man had set upon a course of ac Donovan would have but to face him. With his most loyal commanders at his side ormed int f the communities tha pported the nt eve eld as hostages every soul in town, th ng to kill them nless the aladin faced him A paladin uld not have turned his back upon those people. A thief trouble. Do the protests became too much to talk off novan spent days avoiding the llen cry for action ge s smoO ns is allies. He wa ble to so save face righ il the first headless body was placed upon a stake outside of town revenge rose from every corn Donovan knew there wa rted frig he decided, he would run away. As always though, his luck was poor thoug was over. A life tha e passed close to the bard,I ing with son ility. His resolve to flee was not yet brok nly to run into the wizardess instead had decided, would involve him nfidence in himm ng the commander would mean, but most expected to lead once the wan like everything else," he had smiled then, sardonic and sad. "l don't even get asked She had smiled too a IS Some thi just decided for you. They're never your Anonymous 12/16/10 (Thu)03:51 No.13170320 Hide boug And the looking on, because desp stayed. Perhaps h ame to believe she was right. Perhaps h orgo even been trying to run away. Perhaps his own legends. Perhaps he just knew that the companions whom he loved were Il wisdom, Donovan went to the occupied town to face his opposit battle was brief eye it was clear that the He was struck down. Laying bleeding and immobile on the ground, while his foe raised a bloody sword i ing was moving ing the straps of his cumbersome armor, leaving to lay his heavy sword. Impossibly, he stood despite his wou IS poisoned himself even befo foes back lay open to him, Donovan waited, Waited just long urn about, waited to see the look in the other man's eyes before he drove the dagger straight into of those same eyes and killed him instantly By that time, the shocked enemy commanders had already been secretly surrounded by the guerrillas and were captured. The hostages were freed. The army was scattered. The flag of the nation once more waved high above the town. Donovan stayed standing just long enough to see it happen, before his body slumped to the ground once more. Dead for good this time, either from the poison in his veins or the blood that had spilled out of them And to this day, Saint Donovan Graham is honored as the patron of Guerrillas and Just Causes

Anonymous 12/16/10 (Thu)03:47 No.13170284 Hide Gather 'round to hear the tale of Donovan Graham Everyone who knew him thought that he was a paladin, but he was not. Everyone who knew him thought that he was noble-born, but he was not. Everyone who knew him thought that he was a brave man, but he was not. A rogue and a con artist, what began as a simple attempt to get free lodgings at a temple for the night rapidly spiraled into a lie from which Donovan could not escape. That very night, word came that the governor was calling up a band of brave souls to set forth and attempt to gain intelligence upon or even slow the advance of an army pushing up from the south. He had beseeched the church to send aid and while there was not one among their elderly ranks who could have endured such a trial, there WAS their visiting brother-paladin "But I've no armor, no weapons. I donated them all to the poor," Donovan explained Then take with you these relics, the blade and armor of a great knight entrusted to our care. As one equal to him in both baring and breeding, we know he would approve of your using them," the monks answered back. And so given a weapon he'd no idea how to use and clad in armor so heavy he could barely stand, Donovan Graham joined a rough band of mercenaries and patriots to face a vast and terrible army His plan was to run the first chance he got, yet in that first attempt he blundered straight into caught up with him, cheering the brave Paladin Donovan for uncovering the spy enemy spy. In panic and through sheer luck, he put his sword through the man's chest, and collapsed bellow a tree. The rest of the band Anonymous 12/16/10 (Thu)03:47 No.13170293 Hide So continued his every effort to flee, at least four more times carrying him unwittingly into the clutches of danger and death. The rest of the band were amazed at his ability to sniff out ambushes and patrols and the almost berserker-like fervor in which he set upon their foes Finally, realizing that his only chance to survive was to keep in the company of the others, Donovan ceased attempting to flee. Soon he began to impress them with other skills, such as the settings of traps and snares, being able to talk an entire camp of local bandits into aiding them, and even methods to stealthily approach enemy lines without being seen. It was clear to them all that his religious passion and knightly virtue was tempered with great worldly knowledge. Unanimously, it was agreed that HE would lead the guerrilla movement against the enemy Donovan, despite himself, began to grow fo f the member of his band. In particular the young bard with laughing green eyes who delighted in his knowledge of bawdy songs (" wouldn't think a member of nobility would know that Donovan." "Are you kidding? We WROTE it.") and the half-elven wizardess with the freckled face, whose worldliness both awed and frightened him. Even the half-orc, as grou nfriendly a man as had ever been born, had somehow become a pillar d the local population, they slowed and even checked the advancing army. A bounty was placed on all their heads, but n was higher than for the Black-Haired who lead them. Despite ha managed to avoid directly involving himself in battle nearly the time, legends rose about his great prowess and mastery of the sword. How he could, in a single sweep of his fiery blad through soldiers Anonymous 12/16/10 (Thu)03:49 No.131 Such rumors awakened the dark hungers of the commanding general of the invaders, whose power skill was matched only by his ruthlessness. He longed to face the paladin in a duel a prove how mortal this legend was. Yet, swered or else resulted in hes that badly weakened his forces Finally, this man had set upon a course of ac Donovan would have but to face him. With his most loyal commanders at his side ormed int f the communities tha pported the nt eve eld as hostages every soul in town, th ng to kill them nless the aladin faced him A paladin uld not have turned his back upon those people. A thief trouble. Do the protests became too much to talk off novan spent days avoiding the llen cry for action ge s smoO ns is allies. He wa ble to so save face righ il the first headless body was placed upon a stake outside of town revenge rose from every corn Donovan knew there wa rted frig he decided, he would run away. As always though, his luck was poor thoug was over. A life tha e passed close to the bard,I ing with son ility. His resolve to flee was not yet brok nly to run into the wizardess instead had decided, would involve him nfidence in himm ng the commander would mean, but most expected to lead once the wan like everything else," he had smiled then, sardonic and sad. "l don't even get asked She had smiled too a IS Some thi just decided for you. They're never your Anonymous 12/16/10 (Thu)03:51 No.13170320 Hide boug And the looking on, because desp stayed. Perhaps h ame to believe she was right. Perhaps h orgo even been trying to run away. Perhaps his own legends. Perhaps he just knew that the companions whom he loved were Il wisdom, Donovan went to the occupied town to face his opposit battle was brief eye it was clear that the He was struck down. Laying bleeding and immobile on the ground, while his foe raised a bloody sword i ing was moving ing the straps of his cumbersome armor, leaving to lay his heavy sword. Impossibly, he stood despite his wou IS poisoned himself even befo foes back lay open to him, Donovan waited, Waited just long urn about, waited to see the look in the other man's eyes before he drove the dagger straight into of those same eyes and killed him instantly By that time, the shocked enemy commanders had already been secretly surrounded by the guerrillas and were captured. The hostages were freed. The army was scattered. The flag of the nation once more waved high above the town. Donovan stayed standing just long enough to see it happen, before his body slumped to the ground once more. Dead for good this time, either from the poison in his veins or the blood that had spilled out of them And to this day, Saint Donovan Graham is honored as the patron of Guerrillas and Just Causes

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paladin conman /tg/ character dungeons and dragons guerrillas just causes knight heroism

Bottomless Quiver

Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)07:36 No.26636806 Replies: 2326636928 Isn't a bottomless quiver fairly standard early equipment for most archers? Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)07:49 No.26636926 Replies: 2326636984 22266369872226636999 2326637004 22266370652326637267 26636806 I encountered an interesting variant of the bottomless quiver in one game, which officially had no name but went called it the Storm Quiver because of how the enchantment worked Essentially, you could put as many arrows INTO the quiver as you liked - but could only take one out. When you shot that arrow, it split and multiplied into all the arrows that had been previously stored. So, say you put ten arrows in the quiver. You pull out one, notch it and loose and your target suddenly gets ten shafts in the chest. But the quivers now empty Because it was quite a one-shot thing - it could strip the archer of all ammo in a single burst if used recklessly - the ranger ended up using it as his secondary quiver before splashing back to TWF when archery became less optimal. Over time, I thought he had forgotten about the Storm Quiver. Cut to a year ahead. The main set piece of the campaign is preparing for - and surviving - a massive siege by a conquering Orc horde coming down from the North. While the fighter trains the locals to form an effective militia and the casters are out buffing everything they can, the Rogue and Ranger go out a-scouting, to set traps and try to establish exactly how long we have before said horde hits Anonymous 08/15/1(Thu)07:56 No.26637004 Replies: 23266370652226637082226637267 26636926 Sure enough, they come across the vanguard and after projecting their expected route the Rogue sets about making the next few miles of road the most unwelcoming possible The ranger just finds a nice hilltop where he can see more of the horde. And pulls out the bow that we'd thought he'd never use again It turns out that over the last year of weekly game sessions he'd been hoarding every arrow we came across, from the quivers of defeated bandits and the corpses of the slain. He was even buying them fairly regularly but never really using them since the casters had long since rendered his ranged damage irrelevant, forcing him to go melee And at every opportunity, he'd put them in the Storm Quiver. He handed the GM multiple sheets of paper, for every time he'd added something to the Quiver, complete with the arrow types, the number of arrows and even when and where he'd gotten them so the GM couldn't call b-------. I can't remember exactly how many he had, but it was a big number. The rule had been that you could use the Storm Quiver as a kind of AoE effect if you had a decent number of arrows. That rule had been intended for small skirmishes, hitting two guys standing fairly close to each other, but had the proviso that the more arrows you had, the wider and area you could hit in a cone. The reflex save was pretty high and homebrewed to be based on ranger levels (since it was something put out for the Ranger) He stood on the top of a hill overlooking the rampant horde, pulled out a single arrow, aimed roughly for the center of the army, and loosed. He used his AoE effect to target the entire horde Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)08:03 No.26637082 Replies: 2326637099 2226637100226637109 23266371482226637267 26637004 The GM looks down at the paper and up at the Ranger. His expression was interesting, as if unsure whether to be horrified or ecstatic "Roll it..." Prior to going melee, the Ranger had specced as an archer specialist, meaning he still had quite a few feats towards being better at pew-pew archery, including ones to up his criticals. The entire group held its breath as he rolled And then when he confirmed the crit, we let out that breath in a joyous outpouring The GM is quiet for a very long time before taking a big wodge of paper which had essentially been his plan for the siege next session and throwing it in the f------ trash. Then he began the description For a moment, the sun is eclipsed in the valley as a single arrow becomes two, then four, then eight and so on. Soon, so many arrows fall upon the Orc horde that it makes less sense to think of them as thousands of individuals and more of a single cohesive mass. More died from being crushed than pierced and the river flowed red that day. It wasn't a total wipeout - we still had to deal with some pretty large-scale Orc attacks against the city next session - but in a single moment the ranger personally ended over fifty percent of the Orc horde, routing perhaps another twenty. And of course the ones that survived were the tough bastards rather than the mooks, so it was a tough fight the next day either wa The GM ruled that the Storm Quiver would never work again, its enchantment burned out forever by the sheer magnitude of the cockdickery that had been wrought

Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)07:36 No.26636806 Replies: 2326636928 Isn't a bottomless quiver fairly standard early equipment for most archers? Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)07:49 No.26636926 Replies: 2326636984 22266369872226636999 2326637004 22266370652326637267 26636806 I encountered an interesting variant of the bottomless quiver in one game, which officially had no name but went called it the Storm Quiver because of how the enchantment worked Essentially, you could put as many arrows INTO the quiver as you liked - but could only take one out. When you shot that arrow, it split and multiplied into all the arrows that had been previously stored. So, say you put ten arrows in the quiver. You pull out one, notch it and loose and your target suddenly gets ten shafts in the chest. But the quivers now empty Because it was quite a one-shot thing - it could strip the archer of all ammo in a single burst if used recklessly - the ranger ended up using it as his secondary quiver before splashing back to TWF when archery became less optimal. Over time, I thought he had forgotten about the Storm Quiver. Cut to a year ahead. The main set piece of the campaign is preparing for - and surviving - a massive siege by a conquering Orc horde coming down from the North. While the fighter trains the locals to form an effective militia and the casters are out buffing everything they can, the Rogue and Ranger go out a-scouting, to set traps and try to establish exactly how long we have before said horde hits Anonymous 08/15/1(Thu)07:56 No.26637004 Replies: 23266370652226637082226637267 26636926 Sure enough, they come across the vanguard and after projecting their expected route the Rogue sets about making the next few miles of road the most unwelcoming possible The ranger just finds a nice hilltop where he can see more of the horde. And pulls out the bow that we'd thought he'd never use again It turns out that over the last year of weekly game sessions he'd been hoarding every arrow we came across, from the quivers of defeated bandits and the corpses of the slain. He was even buying them fairly regularly but never really using them since the casters had long since rendered his ranged damage irrelevant, forcing him to go melee And at every opportunity, he'd put them in the Storm Quiver. He handed the GM multiple sheets of paper, for every time he'd added something to the Quiver, complete with the arrow types, the number of arrows and even when and where he'd gotten them so the GM couldn't call b-------. I can't remember exactly how many he had, but it was a big number. The rule had been that you could use the Storm Quiver as a kind of AoE effect if you had a decent number of arrows. That rule had been intended for small skirmishes, hitting two guys standing fairly close to each other, but had the proviso that the more arrows you had, the wider and area you could hit in a cone. The reflex save was pretty high and homebrewed to be based on ranger levels (since it was something put out for the Ranger) He stood on the top of a hill overlooking the rampant horde, pulled out a single arrow, aimed roughly for the center of the army, and loosed. He used his AoE effect to target the entire horde Anonymous 08/15/13(Thu)08:03 No.26637082 Replies: 2326637099 2226637100226637109 23266371482226637267 26637004 The GM looks down at the paper and up at the Ranger. His expression was interesting, as if unsure whether to be horrified or ecstatic "Roll it..." Prior to going melee, the Ranger had specced as an archer specialist, meaning he still had quite a few feats towards being better at pew-pew archery, including ones to up his criticals. The entire group held its breath as he rolled And then when he confirmed the crit, we let out that breath in a joyous outpouring The GM is quiet for a very long time before taking a big wodge of paper which had essentially been his plan for the siege next session and throwing it in the f------ trash. Then he began the description For a moment, the sun is eclipsed in the valley as a single arrow becomes two, then four, then eight and so on. Soon, so many arrows fall upon the Orc horde that it makes less sense to think of them as thousands of individuals and more of a single cohesive mass. More died from being crushed than pierced and the river flowed red that day. It wasn't a total wipeout - we still had to deal with some pretty large-scale Orc attacks against the city next session - but in a single moment the ranger personally ended over fifty percent of the Orc horde, routing perhaps another twenty. And of course the ones that survived were the tough bastards rather than the mooks, so it was a tough fight the next day either wa The GM ruled that the Storm Quiver would never work again, its enchantment burned out forever by the sheer magnitude of the cockdickery that had been wrought

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archery munchkin powergaming creative abuse of magical items dungeons and dragons /tg/

Terran Triskelion

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