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Anons life is unfair. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)07:27:41 No.63157818 662 KB PNG When did you realize that life was rigged against you? I'll start: >was quiet in high school, always tried to mind my own business even if it would be considered rude (e.g. wouldn't respond to people even if they called me by name), always kept my head down and made sure to walk a little fast in between classes >eventually rumor starts that i'm retarded and a future school shooter or some other s--- >spread around the school quickly since we didn't have much other drama >eventually get called into counselor's office one day >she tells me that i need to undergo a mandatory psychological evaluation to "make sure that you and others" are safe >ended up getting diagnosed with the tism at f------ 16 years old >assholes somehow couldn't keep it confidential either, so everyone knew >got treated like an ape until graduation, girls would speak to me in baby voices even though i was intelligent enough to be in advanced classes
: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)07:27:41 No.63157818 662 KB PNG When did you realize that life was rigged against you? I'll start: >was quiet in high school, always tried to mind my own business even if it would be considered rude (e.g. wouldn't respond to people even if they called me by name), always kept my head down and made sure to walk a little fast in between classes >eventually rumor starts that i'm retarded and a future school shooter or some other s--- >spread around the school quickly since we didn't have much other drama >eventually get called into counselor's office one day >she tells me that i need to undergo a mandatory psychological evaluation to "make sure that you and others" are safe >ended up getting diagnosed with the tism at f------ 16 years old >assholes somehow couldn't keep it confidential either, so everyone knew >got treated like an ape until graduation, girls would speak to me in baby voices even though i was intelligent enough to be in advanced classes

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Anon mogs, do you? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/04/22(Sun)13:55:47 No.68213856 pp,504x498-pad,600x600,f8f8f8.jpg 34 KB JPG >at the petrol station >guy across from me neckmogs but I heightmog that wristlet >feels kinda bad, make a mental note to start neckcurling >his gf comes out of the car >9/10 easily outlooksmaxxed him >must have socialmaxxed >upon closer inspection she's actually a 8/10 makeupfraudmaxxstress >feel a little better >on the way to the cashier a terrier barks at me >flinch but realize I speciesmog, get f----- you little s--- >F150 truckmogs me as I leave Are we just on this earth to mog and cope?
: Anonymous 09/04/22(Sun)13:55:47 No.68213856 pp,504x498-pad,600x600,f8f8f8.jpg 34 KB JPG >at the petrol station >guy across from me neckmogs but I heightmog that wristlet >feels kinda bad, make a mental note to start neckcurling >his gf comes out of the car >9/10 easily outlooksmaxxed him >must have socialmaxxed >upon closer inspection she's actually a 8/10 makeupfraudmaxxstress >feel a little better >on the way to the cashier a terrier barks at me >flinch but realize I speciesmog, get f----- you little s--- >F150 truckmogs me as I leave Are we just on this earth to mog and cope?

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Anon trusts his therapist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat)20:16:17 No.611013843 >>611013994 >>611014037 >>611014043 >>611014050 >>611014275 >>611014286 >>611014420 >>611014524 >>611014579 >>611014585 >>611014670 >>611014680 >>611014962 >>611015493 >>611016953 >>611017093 >>611017276 >>611017473 >>611017512 >>611017571 >>611017770 >>611017941 File: 1647440159317.png (2.2 MB, 1086x1245) I told my therapist that I am a p-------- two days ago. Everyone has been telling me I'm f----- and that I'm going to end up on the sex offender registry. My therapist is referring me to a sex offender therapist as well. How f----- am I for real? Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat)20:18:36 No.611013994 ► >>611014034 >>611013843 Did you LITERALLY say the words "I am a p--------" or something along the lines of "I am attracted to 13 year-old girls"? Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat)20:19:07 No.611014034 ► >>611014145 >>611013994 I told him I am attracted to young children, yes.
Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat)20:16:17 No.611013843 >>611013994 >>611014037 >>611014043 >>611014050 >>611014275 >>611014286 >>611014420 >>611014524 >>611014579 >>611014585 >>611014670 >>611014680 >>611014962 >>611015493 >>611016953 >>611017093 >>611017276 >>611017473 >>611017512 >>611017571 >>611017770 >>611017941 File: 1647440159317.png (2.2 MB, 1086x1245) I told my therapist that I am a p-------- two days ago. Everyone has been telling me I'm f----- and that I'm going to end up on the sex offender registry. My therapist is referring me to a sex offender therapist as well. How f----- am I for real? Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat)20:18:36 No.611013994 ► >>611014034 >>611013843 Did you LITERALLY say the words "I am a p--------" or something along the lines of "I am attracted to 13 year-old girls"? Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat)20:19:07 No.611014034 ► >>611014145 >>611013994 I told him I am attracted to young children, yes.

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Anon summarizes the mac experience | /r/Greentext

22m (9/3 23:18). 88426676 1 Re. 0 Img.PNG 307KB (480 × 454) 1 Reply >be me >reached to customer support because the software and hardware for my audio interface is buggy >customer support agent asks for system report for my mac how safe is this? 20m (9/3 23:19). 88426693 >>88426676 (OP) 101%. because it just works ●●● :
22m (9/3 23:18). 88426676 1 Re. 0 Img.PNG 307KB (480 × 454) 1 Reply >be me >reached to customer support because the software and hardware for my audio interface is buggy >customer support agent asks for system report for my mac how safe is this? 20m (9/3 23:19). 88426693 >>88426676 (OP) 101%. because it just works ●●● :

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Anon meets pentesters | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)05:51:56 No.87039295 >Be software engineer >Constantly find new, serious vulnerabilities in our system, it's a miracle if we haven't been breached already >Report them, silence >Head of security, a middle-aged fat woman with LOTR teams background, decides to commision a pentest of the systems 58 KB JPG >In the initial meeting, the pentesters ask what they should test >Head of security obviously doesn't know anything about the architecture about the system and just tells them to go crazy and "may the force be with you" >In the final report the pentesters basically just tells us to stop using default credentials in a test environment Is this really what's been hyped up for years? Feels like a racket just to benefit non-technical heads of security and pentesters.
Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)05:51:56 No.87039295 >Be software engineer >Constantly find new, serious vulnerabilities in our system, it's a miracle if we haven't been breached already >Report them, silence >Head of security, a middle-aged fat woman with LOTR teams background, decides to commision a pentest of the systems 58 KB JPG >In the initial meeting, the pentesters ask what they should test >Head of security obviously doesn't know anything about the architecture about the system and just tells them to go crazy and "may the force be with you" >In the final report the pentesters basically just tells us to stop using default credentials in a test environment Is this really what's been hyped up for years? Feels like a racket just to benefit non-technical heads of security and pentesters.

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Anon is tried of being a comfort pillow | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate women 115 KB JPG 02/11/22 (Fri) 17:29:17 No.67388393 >older sister calls me >older sister constantly cries about being f----- and dumped by chads on dating apps >younger sister calls me >younger sister constantly vents to me about boys she has a crush on >mom calls me >mom constantly cries to me about my dad >when I tell them "you are being annoying" they start crying harder and blaming me for being a horrible person >suddenly I am the bad guy >dad calls me >dad is the only one that asks me how I am doing
: Anonymous I hate women 115 KB JPG 02/11/22 (Fri) 17:29:17 No.67388393 >older sister calls me >older sister constantly cries about being f----- and dumped by chads on dating apps >younger sister calls me >younger sister constantly vents to me about boys she has a crush on >mom calls me >mom constantly cries to me about my dad >when I tell them "you are being annoying" they start crying harder and blaming me for being a horrible person >suddenly I am the bad guy >dad calls me >dad is the only one that asks me how I am doing

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anon needs to move tf out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/21/16(Sat) 18:04:13 No.28720917 >mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks >can't fap into the shower because that would clog it >can only acquire tissues through mom, not allowed packs of my own 164 KB PNG >mom carefully documents each tissue I use in an excel table, and for what purpose I'm 22 btw. What the f--- do I do?
Anonymous 05/21/16(Sat) 18:04:13 No.28720917 >mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks >can't fap into the shower because that would clog it >can only acquire tissues through mom, not allowed packs of my own 164 KB PNG >mom carefully documents each tissue I use in an excel table, and for what purpose I'm 22 btw. What the f--- do I do?

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Anon shows off his secret sauce | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 163 KB JPG 09/03/22(Sat)21:18:04 No.70075443 >be me in 6th grade > horny > decide to j------- in PE bathroom > people are actively going in and out > c-- > secret sauce on my hand > go into the locker room and up to my friend > heylookitscum.jpeg > he goes EWWWWW > panic > justkiddingitswater.mp4 > walk away 09/03/22(Sat)21:21:48 No.70075466 : Anonymous >>70075443 (OP) # and all I want is to f--- a hot woman
: Anonymous 163 KB JPG 09/03/22(Sat)21:18:04 No.70075443 >be me in 6th grade > horny > decide to j------- in PE bathroom > people are actively going in and out > c-- > secret sauce on my hand > go into the locker room and up to my friend > heylookitscum.jpeg > he goes EWWWWW > panic > justkiddingitswater.mp4 > walk away 09/03/22(Sat)21:21:48 No.70075466 : Anonymous >>70075443 (OP) # and all I want is to f--- a hot woman

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Anon is minute man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 127 KB JPG >Be me >23 09/03/22(Sat)21:56:32 No.27239372 >Masturbating since the age of 12 > nut 3 times a day for last 11 years without fail >depressed >feelingbad.jpeg >always anxious >no motivation >minute man in bed >mfw I realized I ruined my life and there's no way back
Anonymous 127 KB JPG >Be me >23 09/03/22(Sat)21:56:32 No.27239372 >Masturbating since the age of 12 > nut 3 times a day for last 11 years without fail >depressed >feelingbad.jpeg >always anxious >no motivation >minute man in bed >mfw I realized I ruined my life and there's no way back

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Anon tries his best | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 260 KB PNG 09/04/22 (Sun)02:37:23 No.70077703 >fathers day >mum's already told me what I need to cook for dinner >9am >dad, mum, me in one room >dad brings up how I perfectly cooked the (lamb loin) chops from about 5 days ago >not just a good job but outright saying "eating them the day after, they were still perfect" >mum insists on doing the cooking now >have heard her say at least three times "I don't know why I care, he's not my father" today >she's obviously in a bad mood with me yet is trying to act like she isn't Turns out I can do something right and still cause problems
: Anonymous 260 KB PNG 09/04/22 (Sun)02:37:23 No.70077703 >fathers day >mum's already told me what I need to cook for dinner >9am >dad, mum, me in one room >dad brings up how I perfectly cooked the (lamb loin) chops from about 5 days ago >not just a good job but outright saying "eating them the day after, they were still perfect" >mum insists on doing the cooking now >have heard her say at least three times "I don't know why I care, he's not my father" today >she's obviously in a bad mood with me yet is trying to act like she isn't Turns out I can do something right and still cause problems

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Anon lifts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I just beat my 20yr liberal si(...) 1.02 MB JPG 09/04/22(Sun)00:12:52 No.885023870 >be me average Andrew Tate enjoyer >Curling a makeshift 18kg weight in total (8 Kg kettlebell + two 5kg dumbbells tied to it with string) >Finishing my set >20 sec rest between 2nd and 3rd set >My bitch w---- f----- sister unties my weight and runs off with it to use it as a door stopper >I grab that dumbbell while she tries her hardest to even make me move >I stand still, calm, collected, downloading the data to execute a alpha male decision >She notices that her d--- body isn't strong enough to do anything to steal this weight or make me move >She screeches like a f------ pig >I let go out of pure disgust
: Anonymous I just beat my 20yr liberal si(...) 1.02 MB JPG 09/04/22(Sun)00:12:52 No.885023870 >be me average Andrew Tate enjoyer >Curling a makeshift 18kg weight in total (8 Kg kettlebell + two 5kg dumbbells tied to it with string) >Finishing my set >20 sec rest between 2nd and 3rd set >My bitch w---- f----- sister unties my weight and runs off with it to use it as a door stopper >I grab that dumbbell while she tries her hardest to even make me move >I stand still, calm, collected, downloading the data to execute a alpha male decision >She notices that her d--- body isn't strong enough to do anything to steal this weight or make me move >She screeches like a f------ pig >I let go out of pure disgust

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Anon is Akkadian | /r/Greentext

Chud 6 hours ago No.973901 >you WILL live in a city >you WILL live in a mudbrick house >you WILL work on a farm >you WILL receive compensation for your labour in terms of minted coinage >you WILL pay taxes to the temple of Gilgamesh >you WILL serve in the military >you WILL use bronze tools >you WILL NOT hunt and gather >you WILL NOT live in a cave >you WILL NOT evade taxes >you WILL NOT question our legal system >you WILL NOT desert the army >you WILL NOT question why we only issue armor to the nobles and charioteers >you WILL NOT insult our stone statues >you WILL NOT claim these statues are anything but the literal physical presence of our gods. >you WILL eat the bread >you WILL drink the beer >you WILL shave your head >you WILL accept being killed if your master dies >you WILL take the potion to cure the hands of Enlil >you WILL NOT question the king
Chud 6 hours ago No.973901 >you WILL live in a city >you WILL live in a mudbrick house >you WILL work on a farm >you WILL receive compensation for your labour in terms of minted coinage >you WILL pay taxes to the temple of Gilgamesh >you WILL serve in the military >you WILL use bronze tools >you WILL NOT hunt and gather >you WILL NOT live in a cave >you WILL NOT evade taxes >you WILL NOT question our legal system >you WILL NOT desert the army >you WILL NOT question why we only issue armor to the nobles and charioteers >you WILL NOT insult our stone statues >you WILL NOT claim these statues are anything but the literal physical presence of our gods. >you WILL eat the bread >you WILL drink the beer >you WILL shave your head >you WILL accept being killed if your master dies >you WILL take the potion to cure the hands of Enlil >you WILL NOT question the king

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Anon got jacked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous XXX 37 KB JPG 09/03/22(Sat) 13:10:52 No.68207136 >got jacked >found job as a bouncer at a night club >a ton of hot waitresses >notice they're friendly with the other securities >itsmychance.jpeg >they pass by me like I was a ghost >it's been like that for weeks It was over before I started : Anonymous >>68207136 (OP) # you probably should kill yourself at this point 09/03/22(Sat) 13:16:18 No.68207200 09/03/22(Sat) 13:17:20 No.68207211 Anonymous >>68207136 (OP) # You need to actually talk to them bro
Anonymous XXX 37 KB JPG 09/03/22(Sat) 13:10:52 No.68207136 >got jacked >found job as a bouncer at a night club >a ton of hot waitresses >notice they're friendly with the other securities >itsmychance.jpeg >they pass by me like I was a ghost >it's been like that for weeks It was over before I started : Anonymous >>68207136 (OP) # you probably should kill yourself at this point 09/03/22(Sat) 13:16:18 No.68207200 09/03/22(Sat) 13:17:20 No.68207211 Anonymous >>68207136 (OP) # You need to actually talk to them bro

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Anon watches Tom Scott | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >about 9 months ago >huffing butane 09/03/22(Sat) 14:09:24 No.173616219 what is it.png 835 KB PNG >start watching old Tom Scott videos >become convinced that there are hidden messages in them >he's in a secret group called "the upstarts" >his friend Charles Yarnold is a master of illusion >Tom has a group of magic mimes who have choreographed performances that go along with some of his videos >spend hours watching them dance as he talks about timezones or something >convinced it was real >it wasn't real >can't watch Tom without having butane flashbacks now
Anonymous >about 9 months ago >huffing butane 09/03/22(Sat) 14:09:24 No.173616219 what is it.png 835 KB PNG >start watching old Tom Scott videos >become convinced that there are hidden messages in them >he's in a secret group called "the upstarts" >his friend Charles Yarnold is a master of illusion >Tom has a group of magic mimes who have choreographed performances that go along with some of his videos >spend hours watching them dance as he talks about timezones or something >convinced it was real >it wasn't real >can't watch Tom without having butane flashbacks now

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Anon works out | /r/Greentext

wars >be 24 >finish killer workout with roommate >head back to the apartment >slam down some protein shakes >spill a little down my face >roomate smiles, and laughs >he wipes it off my face >weird silence proceeds >I say thanks and pat him on the shoulder >l get a bit closer to him >next thing I know I'm butt f------ him >he turns around and grabs my balls >w--, is my roomate gay? Anonymous 03/11/14(Tue)16:59 UTC-7 No.25533767 damn he crossed the line touching your balls
wars >be 24 >finish killer workout with roommate >head back to the apartment >slam down some protein shakes >spill a little down my face >roomate smiles, and laughs >he wipes it off my face >weird silence proceeds >I say thanks and pat him on the shoulder >l get a bit closer to him >next thing I know I'm butt f------ him >he turns around and grabs my balls >w--, is my roomate gay? Anonymous 03/11/14(Tue)16:59 UTC-7 No.25533767 damn he crossed the line touching your balls

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Anon did an oopsie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous what the f--- did I just eat? 09/04/22(Sun)00:59:54 No.885020182 69 KB PNG >be me >take vitamin d and fish oil supplements after meals >put them behind my tablet while i'm eating, watch some yt >after im done i reach behind my tablet, grab the 2 pills, throw them in my mouth without looking and flush em down with some water >they are harder to swallow than usual >they have a rougher texture than usual >one of them feels like its moving >w--.wav >look behind my tablet and see the supplements lying where i left them am i going to die /b/ros? i dont want to explode from the inside like in alien
: Anonymous what the f--- did I just eat? 09/04/22(Sun)00:59:54 No.885020182 69 KB PNG >be me >take vitamin d and fish oil supplements after meals >put them behind my tablet while i'm eating, watch some yt >after im done i reach behind my tablet, grab the 2 pills, throw them in my mouth without looking and flush em down with some water >they are harder to swallow than usual >they have a rougher texture than usual >one of them feels like its moving >w--.wav >look behind my tablet and see the supplements lying where i left them am i going to die /b/ros? i dont want to explode from the inside like in alien

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Alienon is disappointed by humans | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat)12:00:21 No.88419393 file.png (596 KB, 1200x575) google yandex iqdb wait >>88418918 (OP) >be alien >see nearby planet >build a few pyramids and rock structures for keks using the beam >ends up being ran by retards who are blowing eachother up using f------ atoms >infiltrate earthling species to advance their development by giving them technology >push them towards space exploration >give them unimaginable computing power >hope to eventually roll them into the advanced-species coalition >50 years later >they are even more retarded than ever >notable amount of them believe the earth is flat >not even gotten to mars yet alone neptune >not even a f------ moon colony despite only having 1 >spend all of their resources on explosives and local-planetary vehicles that shoot explosives >what f------ retards >put them out of their misery by making them start nuking eachother again
Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat)12:00:21 No.88419393 file.png (596 KB, 1200x575) google yandex iqdb wait >>88418918 (OP) >be alien >see nearby planet >build a few pyramids and rock structures for keks using the beam >ends up being ran by retards who are blowing eachother up using f------ atoms >infiltrate earthling species to advance their development by giving them technology >push them towards space exploration >give them unimaginable computing power >hope to eventually roll them into the advanced-species coalition >50 years later >they are even more retarded than ever >notable amount of them believe the earth is flat >not even gotten to mars yet alone neptune >not even a f------ moon colony despite only having 1 >spend all of their resources on explosives and local-planetary vehicles that shoot explosives >what f------ retards >put them out of their misery by making them start nuking eachother again

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Anon spends his time at the sanatorium | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/18/22(Fri) 12:09:44 No.872923592 File: 1629993462274.jpg (5 KB, 250x217) >>872923208 (You) >rent free >maybe you're secretly trans >people think about me alot because I'm trans >gender is a made up thing >gender and sex aren't the same thing according a theory of a creep 60 years ago >here's a picture of a guy pretending to be a girl I think is convincing >some girls have features that are less likely statistically therefore I'm not a guy actually >some people are born with deformities >you must like some politics stuff someone told me is bad >if I think something looks like something else they're the same thing >why can't people be crazy >dressing like a clown makes me happy >some cultures believe in magic Every conversation with a trans you'll ever have.
O Anonymous 02/18/22(Fri) 12:09:44 No.872923592 File: 1629993462274.jpg (5 KB, 250x217) >>872923208 (You) >rent free >maybe you're secretly trans >people think about me alot because I'm trans >gender is a made up thing >gender and sex aren't the same thing according a theory of a creep 60 years ago >here's a picture of a guy pretending to be a girl I think is convincing >some girls have features that are less likely statistically therefore I'm not a guy actually >some people are born with deformities >you must like some politics stuff someone told me is bad >if I think something looks like something else they're the same thing >why can't people be crazy >dressing like a clown makes me happy >some cultures believe in magic Every conversation with a trans you'll ever have.

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Anon trains Muay Thai | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/02/22(Fri)11:22:32 No.68196274 >>68196397 >>68196416 >>68196826 File: 1662017792598517.jpg (61 KB, 719x720) >>68190955 >train Muay Thai >spar lightly with qt powerlifting girl >she takes a liking to me over time >specifically asks for me as partner every clinch class >she gets me in full plumb with my face buried in her chest >body locks me and goes for sweeps >tries to bite me playfully while we're pummeling >"I don't think that's a legal move..haha" >I don't see a ref I have a girlfriend ffs. I remain completely stoic and friendly but the temptation is daunting lads.
Anonymous 09/02/22(Fri)11:22:32 No.68196274 >>68196397 >>68196416 >>68196826 File: 1662017792598517.jpg (61 KB, 719x720) >>68190955 >train Muay Thai >spar lightly with qt powerlifting girl >she takes a liking to me over time >specifically asks for me as partner every clinch class >she gets me in full plumb with my face buried in her chest >body locks me and goes for sweeps >tries to bite me playfully while we're pummeling >"I don't think that's a legal move..haha" >I don't see a ref I have a girlfriend ffs. I remain completely stoic and friendly but the temptation is daunting lads.

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Policemen pity anon | /r/Greentext

.png (59 KB, 658x662) No.43232832 Anonymous 19 min. ago >send d--- pic to qt3.14 >she calls me a sicko and blocks me >oh well i'm used to it >next day cops at my door >she reported me to the police for distributing CP >they show me the pic i sent her >i tell them it's my c--- >they don't believe me >i have to pull down my pants >they give each other a sad look and apologize for bothering me
.png (59 KB, 658x662) No.43232832 Anonymous 19 min. ago >send d--- pic to qt3.14 >she calls me a sicko and blocks me >oh well i'm used to it >next day cops at my door >she reported me to the police for distributing CP >they show me the pic i sent her >i tell them it's my c--- >they don't believe me >i have to pull down my pants >they give each other a sad look and apologize for bothering me

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