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Anon isn't psych | /r/Greentext

35m (8/27 6:05) 9050456161 Re. 0 Img PNG 54KB (250 x 250) pepe-png-45793 (1).png ES ●●●● >be me >have freakout on antidepressant, go to psych hospital >nurse asks if I hear voices >say "yours" being a smart ass >get eyes get big and she walks away >weeks later reading medical records >patient thinks he can read minds >this f------ retard seriously >psychology was better when everyone was on cocaine talking about d----
35m (8/27 6:05) 9050456161 Re. 0 Img PNG 54KB (250 x 250) pepe-png-45793 (1).png ES ●●●● >be me >have freakout on antidepressant, go to psych hospital >nurse asks if I hear voices >say "yours" being a smart ass >get eyes get big and she walks away >weeks later reading medical records >patient thinks he can read minds >this f------ retard seriously >psychology was better when everyone was on cocaine talking about d----

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Anon gets thraped | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)22:07:27 No.905110590 >be me >go to doctor alot, don't know what's wrong >eventually they say it's anxiety and I'm fine >go to therapist, he tells me to focus less on my health >start feeling worse but don't mention it >tell therapist I don't feel good >tells me to meditate and go for walks >Have seizure in his office 218 KB PNG >MRI shows tumor on brain causing seizures > Stage 4 >I paid to be gas light into dying by a therapist
: Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)22:07:27 No.905110590 >be me >go to doctor alot, don't know what's wrong >eventually they say it's anxiety and I'm fine >go to therapist, he tells me to focus less on my health >start feeling worse but don't mention it >tell therapist I don't feel good >tells me to meditate and go for walks >Have seizure in his office 218 KB PNG >MRI shows tumor on brain causing seizures > Stage 4 >I paid to be gas light into dying by a therapist

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Anon hacks his biology | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)16:53:15 No.905094458 9 KB JPG >be me >biohacker focused on male vitality >spend years optimizing my life style diet and sleep >Ice baths >gigachad testosterone levels achieved >read some estrogen is absorbed by the man during sex through vaginal fluids >read orgasm increases prolactin levels which makes people take on nurturing roles >stop having sex with wife >stop taking care of son >testosterone goes up 21 points >Deep sleep improves and pulse lowers >wife won't talk to me >son cries a lot and grades dropped >told son to meditate to regulate his amygdala to avoid his prefrontal cortex from shutting down How do you anons deal with the ever growing attacks on masculinity?
: Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)16:53:15 No.905094458 9 KB JPG >be me >biohacker focused on male vitality >spend years optimizing my life style diet and sleep >Ice baths >gigachad testosterone levels achieved >read some estrogen is absorbed by the man during sex through vaginal fluids >read orgasm increases prolactin levels which makes people take on nurturing roles >stop having sex with wife >stop taking care of son >testosterone goes up 21 points >Deep sleep improves and pulse lowers >wife won't talk to me >son cries a lot and grades dropped >told son to meditate to regulate his amygdala to avoid his prefrontal cortex from shutting down How do you anons deal with the ever growing attacks on masculinity?

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Anon realizes that now | /r/Greentext

1h (8/28 9:06) 905114573 · 6 Re - 2 Img PNG 183KB (720 × 684) 2A8BA7EA-B02F-4825-B7E5-D2578FE436EF.png 2 Replies >be me >laying in bed trying to sleep >end up thinking about childhood stuff as one does : >remember my first grade teacher >early to mid 20s and fairly pretty >she would hug me alot for some reason when no one was around >f------ dawns on me >I don't think she was supposed to be doing that bros
1h (8/28 9:06) 905114573 · 6 Re - 2 Img PNG 183KB (720 × 684) 2A8BA7EA-B02F-4825-B7E5-D2578FE436EF.png 2 Replies >be me >laying in bed trying to sleep >end up thinking about childhood stuff as one does : >remember my first grade teacher >early to mid 20s and fairly pretty >she would hug me alot for some reason when no one was around >f------ dawns on me >I don't think she was supposed to be doing that bros

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Why are chads not chads? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Col 74 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)20:01:50 No.74535563 There are incels who are one or more of >6' >white >have money Explain how you managed to f--- up this badly. Anonymous >>74535563 (OP) # am stupid, next question (only have two of the three, though) 08/27/23(Sun)20:04:21 No.74535581
Anonymous Col 74 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)20:01:50 No.74535563 There are incels who are one or more of >6' >white >have money Explain how you managed to f--- up this badly. Anonymous >>74535563 (OP) # am stupid, next question (only have two of the three, though) 08/27/23(Sun)20:04:21 No.74535581

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Anon should probably get a priest | /r/Greentext

Anonymous What do I do 61 KB PNG 08/21/23 (Mon)07:47:06 No.904718234 >be me >13 >have sleep paralysis >i see a figure in the corner >it comes close to me >whispers: "You love Danny?" >i wake up with cold sweat >danny is my dog >he dies the next day >become depressed as s--- >fast forward 3 years later >go to sleep after long day at work >sleep paralysis again >same demon from 3 yrs ago >comes close to my ear again >coldsweat.gif >"you love [My brothers name] ?" >ohssit.png >wake up >after 2 days brother takes his own life Is this a coincidence? Or should I start going back to church?
Anonymous What do I do 61 KB PNG 08/21/23 (Mon)07:47:06 No.904718234 >be me >13 >have sleep paralysis >i see a figure in the corner >it comes close to me >whispers: "You love Danny?" >i wake up with cold sweat >danny is my dog >he dies the next day >become depressed as s--- >fast forward 3 years later >go to sleep after long day at work >sleep paralysis again >same demon from 3 yrs ago >comes close to my ear again >coldsweat.gif >"you love [My brothers name] ?" >ohssit.png >wake up >after 2 days brother takes his own life Is this a coincidence? Or should I start going back to church?

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Britannia maybe rules the waves | /r/Greentext

0 English Channel Calais Hazebrouck Étaples ARTOIS Somme 100 km Zeebrugge Ostend Armentières Scheldt Arras Amiens PICARDY Ypres Seine Paris FRANCE Compiègne LINE Mons Arras, Apr-May 1917 FLANDERS Third Ypres, Jul-Nov 1917 Passchendaele Messines, fun 1917 Some, Jul-Nov 191 Oise THE NETHERLANDS Eindhoven Cambrai, Nov-Dec 1917 Antwerp 1916-1917 Reims "Brussels BELGIUM GERMAN WITHDRAWAL TO HINDENBURG LINE, MAR APR 1917 Sedan Second Aisne, Apr-May 191 CHAMPAGNE Marne Liège Aisne Meuse Verdun ARGONNE ARDENNES Duisburg Aachen Luxembourg Verdun Feb-Dec 1916 Metz LORRAINE Nancy GERMANY Cologne Coblenz ALSACE Rhine Strasbourg >Britannia rules the waves >allows lines to stagnate for years instead of outflanking the Huns from the sea What were they thinking?
0 English Channel Calais Hazebrouck Étaples ARTOIS Somme 100 km Zeebrugge Ostend Armentières Scheldt Arras Amiens PICARDY Ypres Seine Paris FRANCE Compiègne LINE Mons Arras, Apr-May 1917 FLANDERS Third Ypres, Jul-Nov 1917 Passchendaele Messines, fun 1917 Some, Jul-Nov 191 Oise THE NETHERLANDS Eindhoven Cambrai, Nov-Dec 1917 Antwerp 1916-1917 Reims "Brussels BELGIUM GERMAN WITHDRAWAL TO HINDENBURG LINE, MAR APR 1917 Sedan Second Aisne, Apr-May 191 CHAMPAGNE Marne Liège Aisne Meuse Verdun ARGONNE ARDENNES Duisburg Aachen Luxembourg Verdun Feb-Dec 1916 Metz LORRAINE Nancy GERMANY Cologne Coblenz ALSACE Rhine Strasbourg >Britannia rules the waves >allows lines to stagnate for years instead of outflanking the Huns from the sea What were they thinking?

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anon is a lawyer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous lawyer problems 30 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)16:04:00 No.905092092 >be me >baby lawyer making big boy money >invite one of my seniors out to lunch one day and he says yes but to leave without him and he'll catch up >arrive at cafe and wait by myself for about half an hour >figure he got caught up in some big project so nbd >get a text from him that he'll be a little late because he underestimated how long of a walk it would be >lol ok then, pull out my laptop and start working >an hour passes before he finally arrives >he kicks the door open kramer style, out of breath, his cheap suit drenched in sweat, clinging to him like saran wrap >"amazing day for a sweating!" he exclaims to no one in particular, every word punctuated by deep breaths >chuckle and invite him to table >asked him why he walked, he claims buses are "financially unsustainable" >he orders a tap water, tells the waitress to "keep 'em comin" with a wink >conversation is normal for a while but eventually veers into his living situation >I recognize the neighborhood he lives in, it's basically the ghetto of ghettos >he lives with 3 other roommates (2 of them welfare artists and the other he's not sure what he does exactly but is pretty sure he sells crack) >tells me it's worth it though because of all the money he saves >ask him how he gets to work because said neighborhood is so far from firm >tells me he used to take the bus but he kept getting yelled at for getting on the back and not paying >did bike for a while but it got stolen
Anonymous lawyer problems 30 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)16:04:00 No.905092092 >be me >baby lawyer making big boy money >invite one of my seniors out to lunch one day and he says yes but to leave without him and he'll catch up >arrive at cafe and wait by myself for about half an hour >figure he got caught up in some big project so nbd >get a text from him that he'll be a little late because he underestimated how long of a walk it would be >lol ok then, pull out my laptop and start working >an hour passes before he finally arrives >he kicks the door open kramer style, out of breath, his cheap suit drenched in sweat, clinging to him like saran wrap >"amazing day for a sweating!" he exclaims to no one in particular, every word punctuated by deep breaths >chuckle and invite him to table >asked him why he walked, he claims buses are "financially unsustainable" >he orders a tap water, tells the waitress to "keep 'em comin" with a wink >conversation is normal for a while but eventually veers into his living situation >I recognize the neighborhood he lives in, it's basically the ghetto of ghettos >he lives with 3 other roommates (2 of them welfare artists and the other he's not sure what he does exactly but is pretty sure he sells crack) >tells me it's worth it though because of all the money he saves >ask him how he gets to work because said neighborhood is so far from firm >tells me he used to take the bus but he kept getting yelled at for getting on the back and not paying >did bike for a while but it got stolen

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Anons think about animal names | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 315 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)04:59:32 No.4602745 my sister used to pull their wings off and joke that they were "walks". >>4602939 # >>4602963 # : Anonymous 136 KB JPG >>4602937 # 08/27/23(Sun)02:12:42 No.4602684 >is called fly >flies fascinating. Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)05:10:13 No.4602748 >swims >isn't called a swim w-- 08/27/23(Sun)12:01:32 No.4602937 >>4602748 # >is called a fish >is the one getting fished
Anonymous 315 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)04:59:32 No.4602745 my sister used to pull their wings off and joke that they were "walks". >>4602939 # >>4602963 # : Anonymous 136 KB JPG >>4602937 # 08/27/23(Sun)02:12:42 No.4602684 >is called fly >flies fascinating. Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)05:10:13 No.4602748 >swims >isn't called a swim w-- 08/27/23(Sun)12:01:32 No.4602937 >>4602748 # >is called a fish >is the one getting fished

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Anon recounts a childhood memory | /r/Greentext

File: images.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)18:05:05 No.74531034 >>74531069 >>74531073 >Be me, five years old. >Live in a townhouse and sometimes play in the front yard. >Neighbor lets their dogs s--- everywhere, so there's lots of s--- in the common yard. >Step on it frequently. >Dad finally gets fed up about all the dog s---, starts talking about how he's going to scoop it all up with a snow shovel and dump it right in front of the offending neighbor's yard for them to deal with. >Sitting in the living room watching TV and my dad comes into the house with a snow shovel completely full of s---. Probably five pounds of s---. >He's blown away by how much s--- he picked up and needed to show the family. >Mom is not thrilled. Yells at him to get the f--- out of the house with that. >He turns around to go back outside and accidentally slams the shovel into the bookcase, dumping the entire load of s---. >S--- goes everywhere. On the carpet, on the bookshelf, behind the bookshelf. >Mom is furious and also trying not to get sick from the smell. >Dad cleans it up and finally dumps it in the neighbor's yard. >Neighbor sees him do it and yells at him, saying it's not her dog's s---. >Neighbor says she'll prove it by showing him where her dog actually s----, and shows my dad her back patio area, which was covered in s---. >Dad apologizes, scoops up the five pounds of s--- yet again and properly disposes of it. Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)18:10:30 No.74531069 >>74531034 (OP) # Your dad shat all over the garden didn't he? Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)18:11:04 No.74531073 >>74531034 (OP) # F--- you reddit. Put me in the screenshot.
File: images.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)18:05:05 No.74531034 >>74531069 >>74531073 >Be me, five years old. >Live in a townhouse and sometimes play in the front yard. >Neighbor lets their dogs s--- everywhere, so there's lots of s--- in the common yard. >Step on it frequently. >Dad finally gets fed up about all the dog s---, starts talking about how he's going to scoop it all up with a snow shovel and dump it right in front of the offending neighbor's yard for them to deal with. >Sitting in the living room watching TV and my dad comes into the house with a snow shovel completely full of s---. Probably five pounds of s---. >He's blown away by how much s--- he picked up and needed to show the family. >Mom is not thrilled. Yells at him to get the f--- out of the house with that. >He turns around to go back outside and accidentally slams the shovel into the bookcase, dumping the entire load of s---. >S--- goes everywhere. On the carpet, on the bookshelf, behind the bookshelf. >Mom is furious and also trying not to get sick from the smell. >Dad cleans it up and finally dumps it in the neighbor's yard. >Neighbor sees him do it and yells at him, saying it's not her dog's s---. >Neighbor says she'll prove it by showing him where her dog actually s----, and shows my dad her back patio area, which was covered in s---. >Dad apologizes, scoops up the five pounds of s--- yet again and properly disposes of it. Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)18:10:30 No.74531069 >>74531034 (OP) # Your dad shat all over the garden didn't he? Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)18:11:04 No.74531073 >>74531034 (OP) # F--- you reddit. Put me in the screenshot.

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Cat-Anon has a dilemma | /r/Greentext

image 2023-05-19_185007916.png 84 KB PNG >be me >minding my own business >suddenly a random hooman appears out of nowhere >he says "pspsps" What should I do fellow catons? Can I approach safely or I should break his feelings?
image 2023-05-19_185007916.png 84 KB PNG >be me >minding my own business >suddenly a random hooman appears out of nowhere >he says "pspsps" What should I do fellow catons? Can I approach safely or I should break his feelings?

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Can't win 'em all | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ITS OVER 6 KB PNG 08/27/23(Sun)12:11:12 No.89979678 >Parents at 25 were married and already had a house while making $7 & $8 an hour >Me at 25 still a KHV living in a s----- appartment on an 80k/year engineering salary
Anonymous ITS OVER 6 KB PNG 08/27/23(Sun)12:11:12 No.89979678 >Parents at 25 were married and already had a house while making $7 & $8 an hour >Me at 25 still a KHV living in a s----- appartment on an 80k/year engineering salary

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Anon exists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)15:34:23 No.74530000 >be me >exist >the end
: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)15:34:23 No.74530000 >be me >exist >the end

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(Meta) So the joke is that anon once again turns out to be a massive homosexual | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous y 234 KB JPG, 1 Reply 01/16/23(Mon)21:46:11 No.892766144 >be me >average straight guy You already know View Thread
: Anonymous y 234 KB JPG, 1 Reply 01/16/23(Mon)21:46:11 No.892766144 >be me >average straight guy You already know View Thread

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Leafmaxxing | /r/Greentext

/pol/439411512/ /pol/439411512 Anonymous VDW5CrVe 31 minutes ago So I wore a baby pacifier to school and now everyone's doing it Thebentis cserbis This School Baby Pacifier Trend Could Ron Your Teeth d 12 REPLIES FRE** Zoomers are not OK Anonymous +v/1cSjF 27 minutes ago >>439411512 (OP) I hate Americans so much it's unreal 11 REPLIES C: 439411512 439411923 ...
/pol/439411512/ /pol/439411512 Anonymous VDW5CrVe 31 minutes ago So I wore a baby pacifier to school and now everyone's doing it Thebentis cserbis This School Baby Pacifier Trend Could Ron Your Teeth d 12 REPLIES FRE** Zoomers are not OK Anonymous +v/1cSjF 27 minutes ago >>439411512 (OP) I hate Americans so much it's unreal 11 REPLIES C: 439411512 439411923 ...

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Its like they had bad aim or something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/23(Sat) 13:24:32 No.189182533 The Order_66.jpg 318 KB JPG >Execute order 66 >There's still 10,000 Jedi fuckwads running around with their lightsabers sticking out of their rectums The clone troopers didn't do a very good job. Who's to blame for f------ up the order?
: Anonymous 08/26/23(Sat) 13:24:32 No.189182533 The Order_66.jpg 318 KB JPG >Execute order 66 >There's still 10,000 Jedi fuckwads running around with their lightsabers sticking out of their rectums The clone troopers didn't do a very good job. Who's to blame for f------ up the order?

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Anon‘s grandpa does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Most kek thing your grandparen(...) 05/21/21(Fri)05:51:34 No.63764689 What's the most kek thing your grandparents have ever done? >be me 9 KB PNG >on vacation in France with family >dad grandpa and I all go out to eat at fancy restaurant >we can hear the staff belittling us for being tourists >grandpa leans into my ear and tells me to play along >slowly starts speaking in a more southern accent as the meal goes on >by the time the check comes he is completely unintelligible from the amount of hick speak coming out of his mouth >end of the meal comes >he tucks the table cloth into his pants and gets up and leave >naturally all the plates and glasses break >everyone turns and looks >grandpa runs out of the f------ restaurant babbling like a loon >fly back to America before we get in legal trouble Man, I love your grandpa. Wish you were still here.
: Anonymous Most kek thing your grandparen(...) 05/21/21(Fri)05:51:34 No.63764689 What's the most kek thing your grandparents have ever done? >be me 9 KB PNG >on vacation in France with family >dad grandpa and I all go out to eat at fancy restaurant >we can hear the staff belittling us for being tourists >grandpa leans into my ear and tells me to play along >slowly starts speaking in a more southern accent as the meal goes on >by the time the check comes he is completely unintelligible from the amount of hick speak coming out of his mouth >end of the meal comes >he tucks the table cloth into his pants and gets up and leave >naturally all the plates and glasses break >everyone turns and looks >grandpa runs out of the f------ restaurant babbling like a loon >fly back to America before we get in legal trouble Man, I love your grandpa. Wish you were still here.

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Anon helps an old lady | /r/Greentext

File: smokingkitty_2.jpg (95 KB, 1280x960) 08/26/23(Sat)21:33:34 No.905023774 [Reply] >>905024527 >>905025849 old lady i met while grocery shopping tw1236136 >>905024395 >be me 6 months ago >walking home after going grocery shopping >old lady walks up to me >"what bus do i take to get to downtown?" >i tell her what bus to take as i walk her to the bus station >she tells me about her current life situation >roommate stole her belongings and left >tells me she has been outside all day trying to walk back home i hope that old lady is ok >we reach the bus station >as shes about to leave i tell her to wait >i give her a couple of drinks i brought from the grocery store because i felt bad >she says thanks and tells me goodnight >i smile and say goodnight >i walk home
File: smokingkitty_2.jpg (95 KB, 1280x960) 08/26/23(Sat)21:33:34 No.905023774 [Reply] >>905024527 >>905025849 old lady i met while grocery shopping tw1236136 >>905024395 >be me 6 months ago >walking home after going grocery shopping >old lady walks up to me >"what bus do i take to get to downtown?" >i tell her what bus to take as i walk her to the bus station >she tells me about her current life situation >roommate stole her belongings and left >tells me she has been outside all day trying to walk back home i hope that old lady is ok >we reach the bus station >as shes about to leave i tell her to wait >i give her a couple of drinks i brought from the grocery store because i felt bad >she says thanks and tells me goodnight >i smile and say goodnight >i walk home

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Anon got nudes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB PNG feelsbadman 12/17/18(Mon)16:27:00 No.49898439 >be me >send nudes to girl >she screenshots >get nudes back >reverseimagesearch >500 results
: Anonymous 22 KB PNG feelsbadman 12/17/18(Mon)16:27:00 No.49898439 >be me >send nudes to girl >she screenshots >get nudes back >reverseimagesearch >500 results

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Anon gets sponsored | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 191 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)08:59:14 No.905073209 >be me, gender fluid >go to clinic to get hrt >ask for estrogen and testosterone to take one day and one on another >Doctor says "that's not how hormones work" >won't refer to me as zir >alter takes the reigns, puts foot down >alter gives new pronouns >Dr laughs and tells me to get off tik Tok >the stress triggers my tourettes >shout "beans" > Upload video to TikTok to expose transphobia >Get lots of support from otherkin >comments make me realize I'm autistic >Nominated for nobel prize and given honorary PhD in gender studies >Sponsored by multinational corporation to better their esg scores, sales drop 30 percent
: Anonymous 191 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)08:59:14 No.905073209 >be me, gender fluid >go to clinic to get hrt >ask for estrogen and testosterone to take one day and one on another >Doctor says "that's not how hormones work" >won't refer to me as zir >alter takes the reigns, puts foot down >alter gives new pronouns >Dr laughs and tells me to get off tik Tok >the stress triggers my tourettes >shout "beans" > Upload video to TikTok to expose transphobia >Get lots of support from otherkin >comments make me realize I'm autistic >Nominated for nobel prize and given honorary PhD in gender studies >Sponsored by multinational corporation to better their esg scores, sales drop 30 percent

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