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Anon regrets his sexy time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)07:21:38 No.850292297 >Be me, virginfag 2013 >Sister invites me to play drunk monopoly with her new friend at her house >chubby 5/10 with nice eyes >we both smoke, two of us go outside for c-------- >drunk me flirts with her cause I was horny >she reciprocates >later on stay night on sister's sofa with her friend who also stayed the night >sexy time.jpg >wake up sober realise I harpooned a whale >next few days she keeps messaging me to do stuff with her >blow her off saying it was a one night stand and that I don't want to go out with her >She's hurt but understands, we remain friends but lose contact >present day >Looking up past flings/ex's on facebook cause im bored >See her >Slim 9/10 who's lost so much weight and is now really good looking I probably would've done something to f--- it up anyway but damm it I sure as hell lament on blowing her off
Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)07:21:38 No.850292297 >Be me, virginfag 2013 >Sister invites me to play drunk monopoly with her new friend at her house >chubby 5/10 with nice eyes >we both smoke, two of us go outside for c-------- >drunk me flirts with her cause I was horny >she reciprocates >later on stay night on sister's sofa with her friend who also stayed the night >sexy time.jpg >wake up sober realise I harpooned a whale >next few days she keeps messaging me to do stuff with her >blow her off saying it was a one night stand and that I don't want to go out with her >She's hurt but understands, we remain friends but lose contact >present day >Looking up past flings/ex's on facebook cause im bored >See her >Slim 9/10 who's lost so much weight and is now really good looking I probably would've done something to f--- it up anyway but damm it I sure as hell lament on blowing her off

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Anon's dad kills him | /r/Greentext

File: 1616388731549.png (333 KB, 1920x1920) Debates with Parents Anonymous (ID: Hlp4TSfA 03/24/21(Wed)01:57:46 No.313440094 ► >>313440280 >>313440345 >>313440449 >>313440558 >>313441060 >>313441691 >>313441739 >>313441827 >>313441848 >>313441880 >>313442527 >>313442676 >>313442842 >>313443952 >in fight with dad over gas prices and biden >call him a f------ liberal boomer >calls me "A Waste Of C--" i got completely btfo and demoralized i have no response to that i conceded and left to my room have you ever lost a debate against your parents?
File: 1616388731549.png (333 KB, 1920x1920) Debates with Parents Anonymous (ID: Hlp4TSfA 03/24/21(Wed)01:57:46 No.313440094 ► >>313440280 >>313440345 >>313440449 >>313440558 >>313441060 >>313441691 >>313441739 >>313441827 >>313441848 >>313441880 >>313442527 >>313442676 >>313442842 >>313443952 >in fight with dad over gas prices and biden >call him a f------ liberal boomer >calls me "A Waste Of C--" i got completely btfo and demoralized i have no response to that i conceded and left to my room have you ever lost a debate against your parents?

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Anon sails the high seas | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/22/18(Thu)08:06:02 No.44044149 >Be me >Scurvy salty dog of the seas >Known as "Stilts" because of my two peg legs >Love being a pirate 9 KB JPG >Used to shovel s--- for a living >l hated shoveling s--- >Haven't had sex in 10 months >Last time I did was a wench from Tortuga >Made me p----- look a bit spotty >Just got done drinking twelve mugs of grog >l'm hammered and have blue balls >Would j-------, but have two hook hands >Notice one of me mates looking off into the distance, his back turned to me >Notice his plump derriere >DearLord.jpeg
: Anonymous 03/22/18(Thu)08:06:02 No.44044149 >Be me >Scurvy salty dog of the seas >Known as "Stilts" because of my two peg legs >Love being a pirate 9 KB JPG >Used to shovel s--- for a living >l hated shoveling s--- >Haven't had sex in 10 months >Last time I did was a wench from Tortuga >Made me p----- look a bit spotty >Just got done drinking twelve mugs of grog >l'm hammered and have blue balls >Would j-------, but have two hook hands >Notice one of me mates looking off into the distance, his back turned to me >Notice his plump derriere >DearLord.jpeg

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Who's lisping in 2021? | /r/Greentext

File: OIP.jpg (7 KB, 200x187) O Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)14:37:50 No.62850394 [Reply] >listening to song on youtube >scroll down to comments >"my kid had brain surgery..." f--- sake
File: OIP.jpg (7 KB, 200x187) O Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)14:37:50 No.62850394 [Reply] >listening to song on youtube >scroll down to comments >"my kid had brain surgery..." f--- sake

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anon had a stroke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/23/17(Thu)20:08:30 No.6050547 >be me >girl is smokeing >she weeds >smoke before sexual >Pencil in sharpener >police arrive >pretend to speak russian 42 KB JPG >sika bleeat >cops don't shhoot me >girl dies in jail >l did the deed >my face when face when my f when facle the fwhen thface mey face face when my
: Anonymous 11/23/17(Thu)20:08:30 No.6050547 >be me >girl is smokeing >she weeds >smoke before sexual >Pencil in sharpener >police arrive >pretend to speak russian 42 KB JPG >sika bleeat >cops don't shhoot me >girl dies in jail >l did the deed >my face when face when my f when facle the fwhen thface mey face face when my

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Anon knows the answer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)08:28:56 No.850295538 >be me >learning about Qing dynasty in history >actually pretty cool, some interesting battles >get to conflict in Beijing >learning about how Zicheng rebels attacked Tiananmen Gate >"most of the more brutal fighting took place in Tiananmen Square" >girl in back puts up her hand >"what happened in Tiananmen Square?" >me and my teacher say "nothing" at the same time >ofw
Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)08:28:56 No.850295538 >be me >learning about Qing dynasty in history >actually pretty cool, some interesting battles >get to conflict in Beijing >learning about how Zicheng rebels attacked Tiananmen Gate >"most of the more brutal fighting took place in Tiananmen Square" >girl in back puts up her hand >"what happened in Tiananmen Square?" >me and my teacher say "nothing" at the same time >ofw

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anon logs in before outing a log | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)13:44:39 No.62849752 >>62849459 (OP)# >in high school >doing some group work on school computers >l have the computer >login requires full name >guy in my group notices my login and makes fun 14 KB JPG of my name >cute popular girl from one group over says him to stop >almost burst out crying there Even to this day that was the nicest thing a girl has done to me.
: Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)13:44:39 No.62849752 >>62849459 (OP)# >in high school >doing some group work on school computers >l have the computer >login requires full name >guy in my group notices my login and makes fun 14 KB JPG of my name >cute popular girl from one group over says him to stop >almost burst out crying there Even to this day that was the nicest thing a girl has done to me.

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Anon writes the greatest greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)17:11:42 No.850319291 >be me >wrote the greatest greentext known to 4chan kind >spent everyday writing it only taking break to sleep or grab delivered chicken nuggets >took years to finish it >goes to post it > "CAPTCHA expired try again" > lose all of it thinking about tomorrow for my funeral just while my body is stank cause of my BO and not cause I look like Prince philip
Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)17:11:42 No.850319291 >be me >wrote the greatest greentext known to 4chan kind >spent everyday writing it only taking break to sleep or grab delivered chicken nuggets >took years to finish it >goes to post it > "CAPTCHA expired try again" > lose all of it thinking about tomorrow for my funeral just while my body is stank cause of my BO and not cause I look like Prince philip

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Anon joins a tribe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/24/21(Wed)19:35:16 No.62484247 >live alone and start to feel lonely >install vrchat and join some servers >all e-couples, whiney americans and furries >get really depressed cause it's all degen cliques 44 KB JPG >suddenly come across some other guys with monkey avatars >more people notice and start monkeying around >end up spending the night harassing e-couples with 4 other guys >leave not feeling so lonely 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 02/24/21(Wed)19:35:16 No.62484247 >live alone and start to feel lonely >install vrchat and join some servers >all e-couples, whiney americans and furries >get really depressed cause it's all degen cliques 44 KB JPG >suddenly come across some other guys with monkey avatars >more people notice and start monkeying around >end up spending the night harassing e-couples with 4 other guys >leave not feeling so lonely 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon feels invalidated | /r/Greentext

O I hate myself Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)21:22:29 No.9516852 > Be me > recent days feel like s--- > stressed from school projects and whatnot > feel like s--- > talks to parents about my days > "You think you got a problem?" > feelsbad.png > felt invalidated and unimportant > never talks anything personal to them > short time skip > parents noticed how I'm expressive towards my friends > parents ask me why I'm not open to them > extreme frustration
O I hate myself Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)21:22:29 No.9516852 > Be me > recent days feel like s--- > stressed from school projects and whatnot > feel like s--- > talks to parents about my days > "You think you got a problem?" > feelsbad.png > felt invalidated and unimportant > never talks anything personal to them > short time skip > parents noticed how I'm expressive towards my friends > parents ask me why I'm not open to them > extreme frustration

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Anon is from Indonesia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)21:17:24 No.850334970 >Be Indonesian >Mom tells me to do my weekly spider patrol >Start with kitchen >Take off AC panel on wall >Five spiders, burn them all >Go to living room, lift box TV with 401 KB PNG hollow bottom >Four spiders and a nest of baby spiders >Throw TV set out, being careful to not spill the spiders onto the floor >Bathroom next, check under the plunger >Female spider eating male spider alive >Flush them down the toilet >Check behind painting in parent's room >EIGHT spiders, three of them missing their heads >Throw the painting through the f------ window, I don't care anymore >Check below my bed >Four fully-grown spiders bigger than my outstretched hand >Check behind kitchen AC panel again 15 minutes later >Two new spiders F--- THIS I'M MOVING TO EUROPE
: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)21:17:24 No.850334970 >Be Indonesian >Mom tells me to do my weekly spider patrol >Start with kitchen >Take off AC panel on wall >Five spiders, burn them all >Go to living room, lift box TV with 401 KB PNG hollow bottom >Four spiders and a nest of baby spiders >Throw TV set out, being careful to not spill the spiders onto the floor >Bathroom next, check under the plunger >Female spider eating male spider alive >Flush them down the toilet >Check behind painting in parent's room >EIGHT spiders, three of them missing their heads >Throw the painting through the f------ window, I don't care anymore >Check below my bed >Four fully-grown spiders bigger than my outstretched hand >Check behind kitchen AC panel again 15 minutes later >Two new spiders F--- THIS I'M MOVING TO EUROPE

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Cat gets disappointed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:54:36 No.795694829 >be me, cat >sleeping from long day of being a cat >feel something cold on my head >wake up >w-- >owner standing there laughing like a retard while recording me >look up 73 KB JPG >can of coke on my had >tfw i like pepsi more >mfw no pepsi 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:56:35 No.795694917 >>795694829 (OP) # That's actually a pretty cute post. Too good for this site.
: Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:54:36 No.795694829 >be me, cat >sleeping from long day of being a cat >feel something cold on my head >wake up >w-- >owner standing there laughing like a retard while recording me >look up 73 KB JPG >can of coke on my had >tfw i like pepsi more >mfw no pepsi 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 03/23/19(Sat)14:56:35 No.795694917 >>795694829 (OP) # That's actually a pretty cute post. Too good for this site.

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Anon gets a summer job | /r/Greentext

O Wagie stories bread Anonymous (ID: Os/AVMCK) E 03/19/21(Fri)12:39:13 No. 12365629 [Reply] Can we have a wagie stories bread? Il start >Be me >be spring/summer 2019 >summer going into senior year of HS >get wagie job at some office space style cubicle farm with hundreds of cubicle slaves. >my job is to do cleaning and/or grunt s--- the old zombies couldn't be bothered to do >l scrub toilets and move dozens of 50 lbs boxes full of f------ documents up and down stairs. >l get paid f------ chump change, so I do chump work. >There is this storage room where old s--- and legal papers are stored in massive box shelves. > One day, I am sitting on an old bean bag chair sitting in the basement storage room. I'm ripping my Novo and browsing /pol/ and /b/ >I look over to my right and see a shelf full of old computers labeled "broken". >l crack one open to look at the s--- inside >there is a f------ GTX980 plugged into this work machine >l jewgle the model of the computer and it turns out, these are really f------ expensive work machines. >Next day I go back to the office with my screw drivers and "borrow" three GTX 980s. >Sell them on eBay for 2 thousand shekels. >quit next week to get ready for school >never work there again, I left state after I graduated highschool.
O Wagie stories bread Anonymous (ID: Os/AVMCK) E 03/19/21(Fri)12:39:13 No. 12365629 [Reply] Can we have a wagie stories bread? Il start >Be me >be spring/summer 2019 >summer going into senior year of HS >get wagie job at some office space style cubicle farm with hundreds of cubicle slaves. >my job is to do cleaning and/or grunt s--- the old zombies couldn't be bothered to do >l scrub toilets and move dozens of 50 lbs boxes full of f------ documents up and down stairs. >l get paid f------ chump change, so I do chump work. >There is this storage room where old s--- and legal papers are stored in massive box shelves. > One day, I am sitting on an old bean bag chair sitting in the basement storage room. I'm ripping my Novo and browsing /pol/ and /b/ >I look over to my right and see a shelf full of old computers labeled "broken". >l crack one open to look at the s--- inside >there is a f------ GTX980 plugged into this work machine >l jewgle the model of the computer and it turns out, these are really f------ expensive work machines. >Next day I go back to the office with my screw drivers and "borrow" three GTX 980s. >Sell them on eBay for 2 thousand shekels. >quit next week to get ready for school >never work there again, I left state after I graduated highschool.

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anon likes the sea | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)22:30:01 No.62856870 why not take the sailorpill anon? >no women >no need to shower, the sea showers you >only eat nutritious sardines and drink water 192 KB JPG >get to sing shanties >get to be truly disconnected from modern day society. >no news to bother you just the smell of the sea and the wind blowing thru your hair and beard
: Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)22:30:01 No.62856870 why not take the sailorpill anon? >no women >no need to shower, the sea showers you >only eat nutritious sardines and drink water 192 KB JPG >get to sing shanties >get to be truly disconnected from modern day society. >no news to bother you just the smell of the sea and the wind blowing thru your hair and beard

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Anon gets his hopes up | /r/Greentext

>be me >18 >virgin >hates my look >hates my weight >lives at mums house 14 KB JPG >has no job due to the f------ lockdown >mums friend comes over >brings her daughter >mum and her friend leaves the house to go partying >we decide to have our own little party ourselves >takes beer out of fridge and plays music on our speaker >parties for a few hours >we have a genuine chat about life n s--- >orders her a pizza out of my savings >we finish pizza both drunk as f--- and listening to music >asks her for number >sorry im lesbian mfw
>be me >18 >virgin >hates my look >hates my weight >lives at mums house 14 KB JPG >has no job due to the f------ lockdown >mums friend comes over >brings her daughter >mum and her friend leaves the house to go partying >we decide to have our own little party ourselves >takes beer out of fridge and plays music on our speaker >parties for a few hours >we have a genuine chat about life n s--- >orders her a pizza out of my savings >we finish pizza both drunk as f--- and listening to music >asks her for number >sorry im lesbian mfw

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Anon is /fit/ | /r/Greentext

>be me >6 months ago >overweight, depressed, lives with parents >watch highlights on YouTube of a streamer 61 KB JPG called WingsOfRedemption >morbidly obese sad looser who lives with his grandma >wait a minute.png >watch videos of him whining about being 500lbs+ daily >get disgusted that I might someday be like that, get motivated to eat better and work out >work out and eat good for 6 months >not fat anymore Thanks fatass.
>be me >6 months ago >overweight, depressed, lives with parents >watch highlights on YouTube of a streamer 61 KB JPG called WingsOfRedemption >morbidly obese sad looser who lives with his grandma >wait a minute.png >watch videos of him whining about being 500lbs+ daily >get disgusted that I might someday be like that, get motivated to eat better and work out >work out and eat good for 6 months >not fat anymore Thanks fatass.

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